Notes: And so we begin with my attempt at replacing the ficlets I deleted from this collection! I’m going to try to post one a week, but there’s a lot going on, so I’m not going to beat myself up if I can’t get to it.
Hypocrisy
Finally! After an entire morning’s worth of needling and squirming and pouting, you found yourself in the open corridors of Asgard’s royal palace. Being a young woman—the only daughter of Odin’s Captain of the Guard at that—meant that you typically didn’t have many options for adventure whenever your father chose to drag you up there for some “society,” and that day’s meeting had been less adventure than most. Now that you were free of his and Odin’s watchful eyes, you intended to find yourself some fun, and you knew just who to look for to find that.
“Loki!”
Or perhaps that person would find you first. The enraged voice you caused you to jump about a foot in the air in fright.
A clatter of footsteps followed this cry. Louder they grew, and louder and louder, until a boy around your own age rounded the distant corner. You recognized him at once by the mischievous grin on his face. He in turn must have recognized you, for he picked up his pace the moment he spotted you.
“Loki?” you asked, but could not question Odin’s youngest son further before he darted behind you.
“Perfect timing as always, [Name],” he said.
“Perfect timing for what?”
“Loki, I am going to kill you!” the same voice from shouted. “And then I’m going to tell Mother!”
A strange noise issued from behind you. Turning, you found Loki stifling his laughter with his own palm. His green eyes twinkled with mirth. Thor continued stomping up the hall and opening (and slamming shut) every door on the way, and that only seemed to amuse Loki all the more.
“What did you do?” you asked. Your tone smacked the smile right off his face.
“Nothing!”
“It doesn’t sound like nothing.”
“All right, nothing important. Nothing Thor should be so worked up over, anyway. It was only a prank.”
“I thought the Allfather told you to stop pulling pranks on your brother,” you said with your hands on your hips.
Loki rolled his eyes. “What does he know? Thor’s got to learn to take a joke.”
“It’s not a joke if your prank is mean.”
“No one got bit this time! What’s the problem?”
“The problem is that you’re being—”
“There you are!”
Thor had found Loki at last. At least, you thought it was Thor. The red-faced boy headed right for you looked familiar, only he had bright blue hair with eyebrows to match. Your attempt at a swift greeting curtsy went ignored. Only Loki could capture Thor’s interest at the moment.
“Turn it back!” Thor shouted.
Loki didn’t flinch. “No.”
“If you don’t, I'll—”
“Make me? How? Get Sif to hold me down so you can punch me?”
Instead of thinking of a better way to finish his threat, Thor—still looking utterly ridiculous with his blue hair—lunged at his brother with a wordless cry of anger. Loki ducking behind you deterred Thor not at all. The two boys, one snarling, the other snickering, circled you. Around and around they went until you grew dizzy enough to shove the nearest person out of the endless whirlwind.
Unfortunately, that person turned out to be Thor. More unfortunately still, your shoving him was enough for you to end up at the wrong end of his wrath yourself.
“You're helping him!” Thor snapped incredulously.
“What?” You shook your head. “No, I—”
“I should have guessed you were in on this, [Name].”
“Wait. I had nothing to—”
“You're always helping him pick on me!”
“I never—”
“If that’s how you want things to be, fine. I’ll tell your dad, too. When he hears about this—”
A sudden peal of laughter from Loki interrupted Thor’s tirade. Disconcerted, Thor paused, but it didn’t take long for him to open his mouth to continue lecturing you. He took a deep breath, then found himself unable to speak over your laughter.
“What?” he demanded, looking between you and Loki as the two of you doubled over gasping for breath. “What are you laughing at? What’s so funny?”
“Maybe—maybe you should check a mirror,” Loki managed to choke out.
Thor’s eyes narrowed, but clearly his suspicions were great enough to convince him to follow Loki’s advice and leave you both unattended. It did not take long for him to find a reflective surface in the lush corridor. He took one look, then gasped. For good reason, too: Above his quivering lips now sat a magnificent mustache the exact same color as the rest of his hair.
“Mother!” Thor bawled before rushing back out of sight once more.
They were too much, his hysterics. Together you and Loki melted into a guffawing puddle right there on the palace floor. Only several minutes later did either of you recover to rise, hiccuping, into a seated position.
Loki shot you a knowing look as you wiped the tears from your eyes. “I thought you said I wasn’t to prank Thor anymore,” he said.
You sat up as straight as you could and said in your most prim of voices, “Thor has to learn to take a joke.”
This very nearly sent the two of you to the floor again. Struggling to contain himself, Loki instead hopped to his feet and offered you a hand to follow suit. You allowed him to pull you up. Each of you shot the other enormous grins at the exact same time. Then you both wordlessly raced up the hall side by side. Thor would be back soon, almost certainly with backup. Until then, there remained plenty of fun for you and your friend to go looking for.
Loki had always been a bit different–a bit more magic than muscle, a bit more tricky than truthful, a bit more bitter than sweet. But for all your years in his company, you never imagined you’d have to see his face through the wall of a prison cell.
“So they decided to send you to break me. I should have known,” Loki breathed, his grin as fragile as glass.
You weren’t sure how long he had known you were there. Perhaps the entire time, as silent as you had been trying to remain. As his green eyes caught the little light that filtered into his cell, you stepped forward.
“Break you?” you asked. “Why would they ask me to break you?”
“Oh, I think you know.”
You shook your head, your fingers fluttering out to brush against the surface of his cell wall. “What happened to you?”
“What happened to me? What happened to me? What happened to you?”
“Getting Thor exiled,” you said without answering him. “Trying to kill him and our friends. Destroying the Frost Giants. Murdering hundreds of innocent Midgardians.” You lifted your gaze to meet his. “You’ve changed.”
That got his ire. Loki strode forward. “I have not changed!” His shout was so loud that you stumbled backward. Though he couldn’t get himself any closer to you, Loki clenched his hands into fists and grimaced down at you. “I have simply learned what I truly am!”
“A Frost Giant?” you said calmly, getting to your feet and gathering your skirts around you along with your wits. “Thor told me. Loki, you cannot believe–”
“They told you!“ He barked out a wild laugh. “Of course they did! You’re Thor’s little lapdog now, aren’t you?”
“Loki, you are speaking madness. I would never–”
“Don’t deny it! You helped them. You helped them all. And you would send me back to exile as soon as you could to be rid of me. Just like my damned family!”
“What are you saying? Thor loves you! He–He adores you. And Odin–”
“All of it was lies, wasn’t it, [Name]?” His voice dropped to regular volume and his smile returned to something close to normal as he stepped backward and away from you. “The truth comes out. Everything we shared, it was all a lie so you could watch me, spy on me for my family.”
“What?” Hurt colored your tone.“ No. Loki–Loki, I–”
“Don’t say it.” He held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear that you love me. Not anymore. You lied to me, just like everyone else.”
You pressed a hand to your heart and moved forward again. “Loki–”
He whirled around. “Get out of my sight! I never want to see you again!”
A shaky breath escaped your lips, but:
“If that is what you wish, your Highness.”
All he did was watch you as you bowed and left the room.
Summary: You were a goddess from the Greek pantheon and Loki’s former lover. Separated during the events of the first Thor movie and Loki’s initial supposed death, he learns you had given birth to his child during his time away. Initially disbelieving, his possessiveness for you finally brings him back to Midgard to take what is his. Story set somewhere after Thor: The Dark World, but before Avengers: Age of Ultron.
Notes: This started as just a prompt for Father’s Day back in June, and is more a “What If?” type spinoff from my main Loki x Goddess!Reader series still in progress. If you like the pairing though, you can check out more of that AU on my masterlist below. The daughter in this also remains unnamed as just like the reader, they’re yours to fill in the gaps how you will.
Warnings: Angst, self hatred, grief, but also eventual fluff/comfort.
The first time Loki had ever heard of the child’s existence, it had been from Thor. Clumsily blurted out, really only moments after the thunder god had just snatched Loki by the throat, pulling them both from the sky.
They’d plummeted from the humans’ aircraft to then argue on some rocky cliff face in the middle of the night. Just another instance in a long line of disagreements between them to be sure, but on that night it had all been about Loki’s right to rule Midgard through the aid of the Chitauri.
The god of mischief had laughed in his brother’s face as well, honestly laughed at the sheer absurdity and the perceived desperation he thought the Asgardians must now have to stop him. The lows and the lies they would stoop to just to try and delay or distract him from his goals.
Yet Thor had insisted it was real, that you hadn’t known you were with child. And that by the time you had known, it’d been too late. The bifrost had been destroyed, and Loki lost along with it as far as anyone had believed.
But Loki’s mind had still been clouded then as well, unable to see the obvious truth in Thor’s anger. The scepter, the tesseract…and Thanos, it had all trapped him, amplified the worst in him. And everything, all of it had soon spun into further nightmare.
Because only such a short time later, he’d found himself defeated and alone in the dungeons directly beneath the very palace he’d once called home.
Alone except for Frigga and her visits. But even a mother’s love couldn’t save him then. She had told him again that it was fact. That you had had a child in the time he’d been gone, and Loki had still argued with her. He so clearly remembered the hurt in her eyes as well as he’d asked her why she would even care about such a bastard creature even if it were all true.
Shamefully, that disgust had been his first real reaction as he’d finally started to believe her. Because he’d carried all that self hatred, the wound still so fresh of learning that he was never a part of the family he’d been raised by. And to him, it’d been a legitimate question then. Why should the queen of Asgard concern herself with a half frost giant, half Olympian and whatever crime against the natural order that could possibly be?
But in that calm way of hers, in that forgiving voice of hers which he now wished so often he could only hear one more time, Frigga had said, “I care because she is my grandchild, just as you are my son. As you always have been and always will be.”
And then she too was gone.
The days that followed after Frigga’s murder were also a blur, himself consumed back into that abyss of loss. He had lost his identity, his home, his freedom, and all semblances he’d ever known of love in quick succession.
But even if he hadn’t been imprisoned, even if time had allowed him to reconcile with you somewhere in between his suffering under Thanos’ Black Order and his quest for vengeance for Frigga, he would not have tried to find you.
Because he could not, for all the realms, imagine that you would still love him. You’d only fallen for a lie after all, a version of himself that had never truly existed. There had never been a Loki Odinson. He was only ever an unwanted runt. Laufey’s son, left on a frozen rock to die.
But in some sort of cosmic joke, he still drew breath then even as he still did now. After being cast out by the frost giants, then cast out from Asgard. After failing Thanos at the hands of the Avengers, after losing to the dark elves on Svartalfheim…it had been defeat after defeat.
Yet through it all he’d kept crawling back out from the ashes, clawing towards eventual glory, towards glorious purpose.
And after his second “death” on Svartalfheim, he could have fled back into the universe, to anywhere. But the sentiments and the memories he had so often mocked Thor for, had still held too strong for him as well in the end.
He’d gone back to Asgard instead, back to his once home, and to the ghosts of his past there. Odin was only old and tired, then further weakened by the loss of Frigga. So Loki had mercifully relieved the old liar of that pain, that burden of the throne.
He’d placed the strongest magic he could upon his former father. He’d given Odin a new, conflict free identity and left him on Midgard, out of the way and out of his story at last.
Yet after the brief elation of such a long deserved victory, Loki’s thoughts had eventually turned back to what else he’d wanted when there was nothing more in Asgard to take. When those days had stretched longer one after another, himself alone again even among the adoration and respect he’d always most wanted.
So often as a youth, that final pinnacle of the throne had come with you alongside it in his mind’s eye. And with that kingship at last in hand, buried emotions had begun to resurface for the goddess who had once claimed to love him.
He didn’t care anymore if you would only see him as a monster now. He’d wanted to win properly, fully. So he’d needed you back in Asgard. He’d wanted everything that was his. And if that now even included a bastard half breed of a child, then so be it.
With Thor away again, off fighting and trying to tame the realms back into submission, that is when Loki had decided to visit Midgard once more with his intentions for you in mind.
And like anything he did, he’d initially tried to be calculating. Once he’d found you, he’d wanted to know your new habits. The times you came and went, whether you were always alone or not. He’d wanted to have a plan.
He knew how to gather that information. Piecing together what little Thor and Frigga had already told him, the new name you went by, and then tricking a human public records servant to look up the rest on their electronic machines had been simple enough.
You now lived in a place called Pensacola, Florida. Right on the beach of course, to be expected for any offspring of Poseidon. You worked at some sort of hospital for sea creatures, taking the wounded, mending them, and releasing them back into the ocean. Also unsurprising, as you had always liked tending to broken things hadn’t you?
Though even then, the thought of you living and working alongside these petty humans had irked him. They did not deserve you. And in disguise of course, he’d passed your new home several times, walking back and forth on the sidewalk to see if this place should be considered worthy for a goddess, to see if you were there.
The dwelling the records had said you lived in was built high, but more like a one story home on stilts. The living area appeared to all be on the second story, with long wooden stairs leading up to it. He’d seen many structures built that way as he’d walked though, supposing it was for storms. If the sea were to angrily rise, the water could run beneath to spare damage to the main quarters.
Yet that was laughable as well for a woman who could control the tides on a whim. And he’d just been thinking if he should inspect the inside, when his stomach had abruptly tightened.
He’d heard your voice. A sound that had not met his ears since before Thor’s botched coronation and the ill fated battle at Jotunheim that followed. His head had whipped around to see you walking down the sidewalk toward him then. You were laughing, though not at him as you’d looked down at the small child whose hand you now held.
“So, today was macaroni day? That’s exciting.” You’d smiled. “And you colored too?”
The child had some piece of paper in their other hand, trying to hold it up to be seen.
“Is that Elsa? Or Anna?” You’d asked teasingly.
“Elsa!” The little girl had exclaimed.
His breath had hitched in his chest at the sight. He had wanted to see you of course, he’d come here expressly for this very reason. But he didn’t expect the sudden, unique pain. He didn’t expect at all how it would actually feel.
You were a goddess. His goddess. He knew you would look the very same as you always had, it’d only been a little over three years now that the two of you had been apart. The light and warmth of yours that he’d held in his arms so many nights before, of course that had not changed.
But seeing you together then, you with what he now knew as his own child. Happy, playful…suddenly all he’d wanted to do was leave and never return. Because he couldn’t ruin this. What right did he really have to even be here? The girl wouldn’t know who he was. And if she did see his face, wouldn’t it only frighten her? Was she yet old enough to have seen replayed footage of the battle of New York on those human machines?
In the end, wasn’t he only the horned devil who’d opened the portal to unleash those alien hordes onto the streets of her world before the Avengers had stopped him? A monster is all he was. Not even standing there on behalf of love in that moment, but of possessive pride and arrogance.
To his further surprise though, he’d also felt that foreign wetness starting in his eyes just as the two of you had walked right past him on the sidewalk. Humans were riding up and down on bicycles, walking their dogs. To you he was just anyone else as you’d only paused nearer the bottom of the stairs to your home. He’d seen you reaching into your pocket with your free hand, pulling out a set of keys before you’d picked the child up into your arms to carry her up the stairs.
And as you’d held her, her head was then positioned over your shoulder. She’d looked back towards the street just by chance. And for only a moment, he’d made eye contact with her.
He could see himself in her features, he could see you as well. Her human looking skin tone may only be an illusion, so much like his own. But it didn’t matter. He knew she was worth protecting instantaneously then as they’d briefly locked eyes. How could he have ever thought anything less?
By the time you’d gone inside and the door had clicked shut, he was glad though as he couldn’t stifle the sound that then left him as his face contorted.
He had truly been the worst kind of fool.
—————————
A few days later
It was late Friday night, which you were glad for as this week had seemed particularly long. At the wildlife center it’d just been one crisis after another. Pelicans swallowing fish hooks, turtles swallowing plastic, even a young dolphin that’d been struck by a boat propellor.
If more humans could see on a day to day basis the kind of damage their carelessness caused, you really did think they’d at least try to change their ways for the better. They weren’t all inherently cruel in your mind, just terribly short sighted. It took real work to make them see any larger picture.
But, at least some were trying. Your coworkers among them, who were also pleasantly shocked this month when your facility had received another generous grant from Stark Industries for new equipment. Your friends had tried to ask you several times what on Earth your connection to that man was. And you’d just had to smile and say Tony Stark must enjoy a good tax write off.
In reality it was more Thor who you owed for that initial connection. The thunder god did drop in from time to time to check on his “favorite” and as you often pointed out, only niece. Thor had insisted from the beginning that you and your daughter live somewhere safe. And with Asgardian riches meaning little on Midgard, he’d gone to his fellow Avenger Iron Man requesting favors for you in exchange for Thor’s work consistently done in protecting this realm.
To your surprise though, Tony had actually taken a very hands on approach. He’d met you personally several times even in the beginning, though he still insisted on calling you Ariel. Which only much later you fully understood the joke of with your daughter’s growing penchant for those musical cartoons.
But Tony had bought this house. And his girlfriend Pepper had found you that job and the best daycare. But their gifts you still didn’t take for free either. Their world was your home too. And when they needed your help to fight back any new threat, they also knew exactly where to find you. You were now in Nick Fury’s files just like all the others. And they had and would call on you when necessary.
“Mommy!”
You looked over, seeing her holding up that tablet, which now had a spinning icon where whatever video she was watching had been. “Baby, it’s late. It’s just buffering. But screen time should have been over half an hour ago anyway.”
You used to tell her that the internet ran out after a certain time of night, but she was getting a little too smart for that now as you just extended your hand. “Come on, give it up. Go brush your teeth.”
You’d like to think that the strong headedness you were starting to see in her was only from her father’s side. But in reality, you could only imagine how many times you’d given that same pouty look to your own father before she did finally relinquish her precious tablet.
You quickly plugged it in, purposefully out of reach on the kitchen island before you went to help her get ready for bed.
It took a while, as always of course. So much bargaining. Could she have just one more cup of water? No, she didn’t want to sleep with this toy, it had to be that toy that you hadn’t seen for a week. Then digging through her toybox to find it, then it was the ceiling fan needs to be on. No it’s blowing on me, it needs to be off.
Mommy, leave the door cracked. No, leave it shut. Mommy, can you put the sounds on? No, not the water sounds, the thunder! Mommy, you’re sure there’s nothing in the closet?
It was just amazing how quickly someone so small could become a master of stall tactics when they really wanted to be.
By the time you were sure that she was finally asleep, her sound machine then going with her bedroom door shut, you probably should have been asleep yourself. But there was also something to be said for getting a rare moment alone.
You’d changed out of your work clothes at last, now just in underwear and a long t-shirt as you went back to the kitchen. You’d left only the overhead stove light on. And with the beach house’s open floor plan, it was enough to cast a dim light into the living room as well as you’d grabbed a bottle of wine off the counter, considering the label.
One of your coworkers had recommended this brand to try. You’d planned to pour just a bit into a glass and then go turn on one of those streaming shows in the living room that they’d also told you about. It wouldn’t have been a terrible way to wind down the night.
You’d opened one of the kitchen cupboards to pull out said wine glass, but the cupboard doors had a glass face themselves. And just as you’d begun to shut it, that’s when you caught the silhouette of a man reflected in black behind you.
The wine glass shattered as you released it to the floor. Yourself then whirling your body around, with your metal spear materializing into your hands even as the figure in the seemingly tailored black suit caught the weapon just as quickly in his own overly strong grip.
The silver of your spear still glinted in the low fluorescent light. The intruder’s pale hand enclosed around the side of it, having just stopped the deadly tip from reaching his throat.
But he said nothing at first, those familiar blue eyes just meeting the widening, horrified expression in your own gaze as recognition took hold of you.
You had never fainted in your life that you could remember, but you’d never felt closer to it either than you did in that very moment. Because it could notbe.
“You must have been told that I was dead once more,” Loki finally broke the silence though, realizing your truly stunned reaction could mean nothing else.
And it did sound like a voice from beyond the grave. The god you had loved for so very long. But he’d left you. He’d thrown all of it away to chase madness, to chase power and vengeance. He’d left you alone with only the memory of him, mourning him all the while raising a girl who would never even know her own father.
He must have still seen that heavy disbelief in your eyes though as he spoke quietly again after a few more moments. “I’m no imposter if that’s what you’re thinking…” But he looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “It is me, my goddess. Not a ghost, not an illusion…not a nightmare. Your mind would be too strong for such games regardless. Our connection would be too intimate to fabricate…don’t you know your lover when you see him?”
The tone, the stance, it was perfect. That was true. But you were not so arrogant as to think there would be no being capable of deceiving you to this scale.
In your shock it was difficult to think of proper questions though, even as you tried, your voice sounding embarrassingly weak. “Then, when and where was the last time we were together? What did you promise me then?”
He did seem to consider for only a moment, but with an expression that changed little before he answered. “You think I would forget sneaking you back into my quarters on Asgard that night before Thor’s coronation? And how long we made love over and over as you tried to both console me from that event’s sheer insult as well as dissuade me from letting the frost giants into Odin’s vault to disrupt it?”
But there was a hint of a tragic kind of humor in his eyes as he only continued. “I promised you I was in control. That no one would get hurt…that it’d all be fine. The coronation would be delayed and it’d be something we could just laugh about when I next came back to Midgard for you…”
But you never had seen him after. You’d returned home, and the next you’d known all the Olympians were buzzing that there had been a coup in Asgard. You were not allowed back then. You’d never been back since.
It might be true that a powerful psychic could still pull those little details from you though. But what were the odds that any psychic creature that skilled would also be so equally adept at shape shifting? To perfect his body, his voice as well…no, somehow in your heart you knew this was not deception. Even if a trick may have hurt far less.
And as that equally amazing yet horrible realization continued to settle over you, you finally began to lower your spear with one hand. But simultaneously your other palm just met the side of his face before you could stop yourself, with a slap that echoed through the room almost as loud as his brother’s thunder.
And you could see that equally familiar little flare of anger and surprise in his eyes as he turned his face back to look at you after the hit. The redness and beginnings of a bruise already starting to form on his pale cheek from the sheer force of it.
But you did not strike him again. Your eyes were already blurring then as the first tears formed, and you could soon feel them edging out down the sides of your face. Emotion drawn from a well of sadness you had thought would one day run dry. But it never did. You lived of course, you smiled and laughed even after he had been gone. But the mourning did not ever really leave you.
It could be in the middle of the day, anywhere, doing anything when a thought of him would cross your mind and that pit would swallow you whole all over again. You’d had to process his death twice already. And what being in any realm, of any status, deserved to go through that more than once with the one that they truly loved?
But his eyes were still on you as you saw his brief anger fade to confusion, and then…was it actually something closer to regret?
Your spear just clattered to the floor alongside the broken glass as you felt Loki’s arms wrap abruptly around you. That same grip that had held you for more nights than you could now count.
“I should have come sooner…you did not deserve this.”He said then, his voice sounding odd at last as if he may now be struggling to keep it even himself.
“Youleftus,” You breathed harshly in return though, pulling back enough to look at him again with your now reddening eyes.
But you could see the sadness in his own face even more now, clearer then in a way that both only wounded and frustrated you further. It would have been easier honestly if you could make yourself hate him. If he could stand there just looking as arrogant and pompous as everyone else always thought that he was.
But here, right now as he held you in some insufficient attempt at comfort, he only looked near as broken as you.
And you couldn’t help it. Even though it made no sense, even though you should just be screaming at him, demanding explanations and apologies…you’d missed him so much. You had wanted him back so badly, more than you’d ever wanted anything else before.
And here he was. The Fates knowing more than you ever could as he escaped death once again. You moved forward before you even consciously decided to, and you were kissing him then through the tears. Your lips against his. And even after all that had happened, all that he had done, he still tasted just the same.
But he only pressed into it as well, just as hard, opening his mouth to taste you soon enough as if the two of you had never stopped.
There was a desperation more than you’d ever felt however. That sadness, anger, and hurt overflowing still even as you pushed him so his back was now against the kitchen island. You felt him widen the stance of his legs, letting you in between them as his hands moved roughly to your hips.
He hadn’t forgotten you. No, it was then that you knew that he’d never stopped wanting you either. But why then? Why did he let you think over and over that he was dead? Why did he put you through all of this!?
And as you finally broke the heated kiss to look at him again, both of you then a literal mess standing here in this modern mortal kitchen with shards of glass and your spear made by Hephaestus himself on the floor beneath you, you also knew that there would be no sleep had tonight.
You needed…no, you deservedanswers.
—————————
The broken glass had been cleaned up and your weapon put back away, all lights now turned off as you’d opened the blinds in the living room to let the moonlight in from off the beach instead.
You felt like your hands might be trying to shake slightly though, and after another moment’s thought you opened one of the windows slightly as well. That salt smell and cool sea air drifting in with the sound of the waves. It was a comfort and added bit of strength you felt you needed then as you rounded back to the couch.
And Loki just sat there waiting for you in the dark. Maddeningly elegant looking again in the moonlight, one leg crossed over the other and his eyes never leaving you.
You sat down on the couch with him as well, but with a little distance still. You felt like you hadn’t let out all of your pent up anger yet. But you knew that wouldn’t get you anywhere either.
“So how long have you been watching us?” Is what you finally asked. Knowing full well that him finally revealing himself to you again wouldn’t have been a spur of the moment decision on his part. To sneak in here so easily, he had to have learned the surroundings some time before now.
“Not long. Only this week,” He answered plainly though.
“Why?” You responded a little tersely, but not looking back at him. You felt the more you would look at him, the more your memories returned and the less objective you could be.
“I needed to see you.” He just gave another short answer.
“But you didn’t before?” You countered, knowing how long it’d already been since the convergence and everything Thor had said Loki had given his life for on Svartalfheim. Where had the god of mischief really been since then? What had he been doing?
He gave a kind of half sigh, and you felt him shift on the couch. “I didn’t come here to antagonize you. I swear to that. But I had to deal with Odin first before I could move forward with anything else in my life. And now that is finally done.”
“What?” You did look reflexively back to him at the mention of the Allfather and all the additional dire implications that could possibly mean. You knew Loki too well to think for a moment that anything between he and Odin right now could possibly have a peaceful ending. But he didn’t respond back right away, only frustrating you further. “Loki…if you’re still keeping secrets, this isn’t…it’s not going to work.”
Your feelings were already too raw, you couldn’t handle those old games right now.
But you only saw an odd look come into his eyes, it wasn’t sly or condescending by any means. Closer to a flicker of more desperation if anything before he spoke to you again.
“If I trust you, then you have to do the same in return. Of course I can tell you everything that’s happened since I escaped death on Svartalfheim. But I’m not ready to deal with my brother’s judgements just yet about my dealings with Odin. This must stay between us for now.”
Yet you still stiffened, aware of everything Thor had already done for you in Loki’s absence. And knowing that the only real confidants you had left in the mortal realm were now in the Avengers. Letting yourself become beholden to Loki once more, jeopardizing the life you’d made for you and your daughter here….it was a lot to ask. “You’ve got a lot of nerve giving me stipulations on anything right now, you understand that right?”
He smirked just a little, the first hint of one you’d seen since his arrival. But it still looked all too regretful. “Take the truth…I’ll tell it. That’s all I can offer you. Then whatever you feel -or don’t- for me afterward, I can do nothing but accept it. But I want you to show me the truth as well. I want to see the time I’ve missed. I want to know what I’ve cost us.” He continued quietly though, as you felt his hand graze yours as you held onto the couch. You hadn’t sat far enough away after all.
You knew what he was really asking for then. He wanted to take the shortcut of looking directly into your memories, which he could only do through physical touch. But all your emotion, all the pain, everything would be there, hot and searing as if it was happening again in real time.
But he needed to feel it too didn’t he? You did want him to, even as much as you knew you weren’t ready to relive any of it yourself. No, you couldn’t overthink this, or else you might lose your nerve as you answered. “Then get it over with please. Look into my mind…but before the morning comes you’re going to tell me why you did what you did as well. I can’t just let all that go, Loki. Even for you…”
“I know.” Was all he responded though. Yet there was a heaviness to it as he watched you finally move closer and he raised his open hand in front of you.
You knew what you had to do as you took a breath before bowing your head slightly, nearly touching it against his hand before he moved in to close the rest of the distance.
You felt the tension in him, the last bit of hesitation before his fingers gripped firmly upon your scalp. You tried to steel yourself as well before the gates opened up. But no one could, not to that kind of force as in only another instant it was like a switch had been flipped inside your brain. A hit akin to a bomb going off inside your consciousness as he forced his way in.
The invasiveness was painful enough on its own, but you didn’t fight as he pulled those last few years of memories rapidly to the surface. And it was all only the truth as the scenes flashed by faster and faster.
The night you’d first been in denial, learning the news that he had turned on his own family. Everyone just telling you that he had gone mad. And you arguing, even fighting to try and escape to go to him as your father Poseidon with the help of your brothers had locked you all in your family’s palace in the depths of the sea.
Zeus had commanded that no Olympian be allowed to interfere in Asgard’s battle for succession to the throne. And under penalty of death you’d had to wait and agonize, not knowing who would come out alive. Waiting for any bit of information, confused and frightened how this could even be before word finally came that Odin had retained the throne. Loki had been defeated.
But somehow when they’d eventually said that Loki had died, it was made even worse when the story had started to twist towards suicide. Because they’d told you he hadn’t been slain in battle at all, that he’d let go of the bifrost. He’d chosen to die as he’d fallen into the void.
That was what you’d been made to believe over and over, by so many who had of course never approved of your mixed race coupling with him to begin with. Some had even mocked you then too for the seeming realization that his pride and desire for the throne had been the only thing he couldn’t live without in the end. The only thing he appeared to truly love in the end.
But your depression, and the mourning that followed only became more complex as you’d realized his equally cruel parting gift. A pregnancy that kept you feeling sick and weak for months as your body had constantly tried to reject the foreign entity inside it. And the added stress of your father only hoping that the unborn would actually die so you could return to the fold and close that embarrassing chapter for your whole family at last.
Only your mother queen Amphitrite and your sister Rhode had not turned their backs on you during your difficult pregnancy. Helping you still hunt, still eat and defend yourself, yourself otherwise alone and exiled to the ocean’s most remote places before the child finally came.
But as you’d feared, the baby couldn’t even breathe underwater. You’d had to return to the surface just to keep her alive. That screaming, blue skinned child that you’d had no idea how to take care of at the time. The girl not truly Jotun, but not of your kind either, something trapped in between.
She could not survive the depths of the sea, nor was her foreign blood allowed on Olympus. So you’d had to finally give up your royal life in the oceans for good to raise her on land among the mortals.
But not long after had come the shock that Loki was still alive. Yet only starting that cycle of heartbreak all over again for you as you’d just had to watch on a human television as the man you’d loved unleashed a foreign army to wreak havoc in the very realm you were then attempting to safely raise his own daughter in. There had been so much anger and additional confusion within you at that new layer of betrayal.
But even when he had been defeated and imprisoned, you’d still begged to be able to see him. Even if he’d forsaken you, you desired to have some sort of closure at least. But Odin had refused your requests time and time again. Yes, the bifrost had also still been broken then, but you and the Allfather both knew there were other ways to cross the realms if he would only let you.
But Odin considered your child illegitimate, and insisted that neither of you had any rights in Asgard. There was no sense of goodwill to help you either when his anger and desire to further punish Loki was something insurmountable at the time. Only Frigga had reached out to you via the ravens, wanting to know as much about the girl she considered her grandchild as she could.
You had still retained hope however. In Frigga’s letters she had promised that Odin would eventually soften. She believed the Allfather’s disappointment and great hurt at Loki’s actions were being unfairly projected onto you and your daughter. But she saw it as temporary. She encouraged you to stay strong.
You had almost started to believe her too, before your world crashed to ashes all over again. Her letters had suddenly stopped. And one day, out the blue Thor had come to you with horrific new truth.
You’d been so relieved to see him for the most fleeting moment too, thinking maybe Frigga had sent him. That he may take you to visit Asgard at last, yourself briefly believing that Odin had finally relented. But it was not to be. Thor had instead come to tell you about the Queen’s murder and Loki’s self-sacrifice against the dark elves who had her blood on their hands. Frigga had been killed and Loki had avenged her. And even if not Asgardian by blood, Thor had been so adamant that Loki’s soul would have found Valhalla then.
And you’d cried in front of Thor that day, really cried in a way the you hadn’t allowed yourself with every set back before. You’d finally broken down as he’d held you, neither of you knowing what else to do. But he’d also promised you then that Loki’s daughter would never feel the pains you all had. He’d sworn that she would grow up safe on Midgard, happy. And with no other real choice, you had accepted his and Tony Stark’s eventual offer. This home, this life. You’d become an Avenger in order to protect her from worldly threats just like the attacks made by her own father, you’d-
As you felt Loki’s mind suddenly uncoil itself from your memories, you could also feel the new tears now running down your face again. You looked up at him, surprised that he’d broken the connection so soon.
But as you stared at him, you realized you weren’t the only one then in tears.
———————————
Loki blinked, that stinging wetness only growing stronger as he pulled his hand shakily back away from you.
He couldn’t take another moment. Every single thing you’d felt was as strong in his emotions now as if they’d come from within himself. And he’d had to stop when that final burst of your memories had showed that his own actions had pushed you right into being dependent on the very people he’d once most hated. You were now enlisted to fight against “villains” just like himself.
“You’re one of them,” He breathed, unable to stop that hint of accusation in his tone even as he only wanted to pull you back into his arms now.
You belonged to him. You were his goddess. But Tony goddamned Stark had provided you this home. His own mate and child were now indebted and even affectionate with that egotistical human.
It was irrational for him to feel this angry, some part of his logical mind still knew that of course. In none of your memories had he seen you take anyone else as a lover in any capacity. But the jealousy was so real, the many times Thor had now visited you as well. He’d seen that level of intimacy regardless, you’d needed them because you’d had no one else. And he hated it. The thought of you closer to them, trusting them now far more than himself.
But before you could argue the obvious that he had no right to criticize when he hadn’t been here to be your partner, when he’d left you with a fatherless child, he just took you around the waist regardless. He pulled you against him on the couch, his back leaning into the armrest and your chest now against his.
If you wanted to strike him again he didn’t care as he spoke unevenly, holding you tighter. “I never wanted this. You think I didn’t care about you, but that is not how it was. I was a lie! I was a lie Odin created, and I couldn’t accept it. Yes, I thought I had nothing left. Because I was a fool that believed you could only hate me as much as I hated myself…”
But he’d seen your mind, making it all the more heartbreaking with the truth that his being a frost giant had barely even registered in your important or painful memories. Because you truly did not care. You’d just wanted him back, in any way or form.
Your only anger towards him had been for being abandoned, for being left in the dark, not understanding his violence and his selfishness in these recent years. Your thinking that he now only cared more about conquering realms than he did about loving you or protecting his own child.
“I promised to tell you everything, and I will. But know I never would have hurt you. I never would have let the Chitauri touch you or the girl. I just wanted some kind of control back in my life. Even if I’d won then, I would have come back to you eventually. You’re all I have left…” And he only felt the slightest relief when you didn’t argue, when you didn’t berate him in all the ways he knew he still deserved, your warmth actually just settling further against his chest as he then laid his chin atop your head.
“I love you, I never stopped.” You did finally speak though, as he felt you reaching up to still wipe at your own eyes. “Don’t forget that again.”
He closed his eyes a moment, the pain of those words so real, but even he couldn’t deny them when he knew it was the truth. “Only actual death could ever separate me from you again, goddess.” He promised back. “I have so much to make amends to you for, but I’m here now. And I will not waste this chance if you’ll have me…”
He felt you shift, and as he opened his eyes again he could see you looking up at him once more. The simple touch of your soft hand then against his hair had him taking another breath before your lips met his again.
The physical comfort was so needed, so necessary as he let the two of you sink further down onto the couch. He took greedily still, even after so many years together, he kissed you like his survival depended on it.
Because maybe it did.
After a little while longer though, he felt you move again, you pulling a blanket that had been messily on top the couch then down around you both.
Evidently this is where the two of you would be resting tonight.
But there were still many hours until morning, and you had demanded the truth. He would tell you too. There’d be no more secrets between you. Before sunrise, you would know about Thanos, about the scepter and the tesseract, and how he’d escaped.
He would tell you where Odin really was and how he’d taken back Asgard from the former king. He could only be at your mercy now though, hoping you would understand enough to let him handle this how he needed to. He wasn’t ready to confess to Thor, but all illusions must fall in the end. Eventually that time would come as well. But not yet.
Right now was only about repairing what he’d had with you. And beginning the new chapter with the child he’d yet to even meet. He had failed the girl to this point, but he could at least start to make amends now. To try and be the real father that he had so wished Odin would have been.
By morning all could begin anew. Even devils got second, or in his case even third or fourth chances it seemed. He could and would not let this slip away from him again.
——————————
(Planning to do a part 2 on this, but no ETA at the moment. Thank you for reading! )
Summary: Story set nearer the Viking Age. You were a Greek sea goddess who crossed paths with the god of mischief. Continuation of previous chapter. Waking up together, you and Loki make up for lost time with some well earned intimacy. But after returning to Asgard once more, he finds the net of suspicion growing tighter as Thor, Sif, and the warriors three begin to take notice and turn their attention further to him. Later, while you confess a little to Muninn, Loki also faces the self realization of his own deepening emotion.
Warnings:*contains smut* This chapter includes sex, mention of masturbation, ejaculation, and Loki wanting the reader to show a little more confidence/dominance in bed.
Just as every time before, Loki again woke before you. In the silence, he could even hear the soft sounds of the snow still falling lightly against the cabin’s roof. Only that and your soft breathing beside him.
As he shifted he could also feel just the slightest remnants of sand against the mattress, scraping his skin. Something he’d probably just have to get used to he thought, now looking back over at you.
The dull remnants of last night’s headache still remained, but far weaker and entirely manageable as he felt his normal mental clarity had returned. He’d left the doors to his quarters in Asgard locked before leaving last night. And those at the palace could all assume he was still sleeping off that alcohol fueled haze, buying him a little more time now.
But borrowed time was all it was. Though it was still so strange. Never would have he expected to find anything or anyone in Midgard that he was willing to work for in this way. To scheme and plot incessantly it felt like these days just to try and make this all work out in his favor.
Was he actually still afraid though? Was that really what it was? Fear that something so unexpectedly found, could be all the easier lost? Of course, initially when he’d thought of all the ways this could go wrong, there was always someone else to blame.
Odin primarily if his Father would not accept the relationship. Possibly Thor if his brother would somehow charm you in that inexplicable way of his, just as he had already taken their family’s and their people’s attention without even trying.
But for the very first time, Loki was having new, rogue thoughts.
Because what if it was only himself? What if he was the one that would fail to know how to capture this? What if he didn’t know how to maintain it? That had never been a concern before.
People had entered his bed in the past, and they had left it. He never missed them. He might miss the feeling. But if he ever did, he just found another. It was all the same.
But what happened when he didn’t want another? What in the gods’ names did someone do then? He did not like that new uncertainty. Not at all.
He’d fantasized about you one day standing beside his throne before now, yes. But fantasies were often fleeting. And just claiming a trophy was not the same as this, whatever this was. A foreign sense, almost comparable to dread was now creeping into his mind as he looked at your sleeping face.
Yet he refused to be a coward either. His pride competing with his uncertainty as he grazed his hand down the side of your cheek. He wouldn’t make the same mistake of yesterday morning at least. He wouldn’t wait so long to the point that he’d have to rush back to Asgard wholly unfulfilled again.
No, he felt you’d now slept long enough, his hand then tracing further down your naked form beside him as he leaned in to begin kissing your neck.
Yet even with the touches, you only shifted slightly. Closer to him even instead of away as he smirked despite himself against your skin. How anyone could sleep so deeply, he did not know. Were you really so trusting?
Did you trust him?
You hadn’t initially. He knew this as he remembered that first day he’d ever seen you. As you hid behind those trees with your spear clutched, yet wholly to him looking like you’d never once driven the weapon through anyone at all.
You were nervous he thought, especially when his illusion had caught you off guard. He’d known right away that you weren’t human, but he wasn’t sure what else you really were as he’d only wanted you to leave then. He’d been so annoyed to find that even in the barren wilds of Midgard, that he would still run into any other being so quickly.
It was strange to think now that maybe in some minuscule way he really did owe Odin and Thor for that chance encounter though.
He’d been infuriated at them, after Father’s very public declarations which had all but cemented Thor’s path to the throne. Loki had felt he was going to do something he may actually regret if he hadn’t left Asgard then and there to go cool down. And he’d been so concerned that Thor would only follow, Midgard had just been the first place he’d thought to blurt out to Heimdall. The last place Thor would guess, somewhere in the south as well where he wouldn’t have to run into any of those who still worshipped either his father or brother.
Yet all that seeming idle rage had just put him on a direct course to you. But he knew there were so many who still believed only in the predetermined. That everything was already fated and all would always transpire just as it should.
Loki still vehemently refused these notions however. He wanted to take credit for the things he’d earned. Never did he wish to be only a puppet on a string to higher powers. If he could keep you, it would solely be because he was worthy.
And that was always a secret at his core. How badly he wanted to be worthy.
His touches grew more insistent at that. His palm splaying low on your abdomen as he kissed even harder at your throat. And when he felt you move, he even started to suck at that skin, hoping to leave marks as one of your hands tightened on his arm.
“Loki?” You’d asked sleepily at last.
Yet he pulled back enough to taunt in return. “And what would you do if it were not?” A darkly funny thought really. He’d never yet seen you be truly violent, as he didn’t count any of those instances with the mortals. That was only like swatting flies. You hadn’t even been angry. And it intrigued him to imagine you actually fighting someone, anyone. Did you even know how?
But he didn’t really give you time to answer him either. Now knowing you were finally awake, he moved over you to kiss your mouth instead. Deeply, as he took advantage of you both already being nude beneath the blanket as he started to slide himself back and forth against you.
He didn’t miss that little moan you gave against his mouth either, pleased to know you could be so responsive even just upon waking.
Even though he’d only teased you the other day about self soothing in his absence, he would love to know if you’d ever pleasured yourself while thinking of him. Did you ever fall asleep imagining him between your legs, or wake up envisioning this very thing?
He was already growing hard at just the feel of your body against his, and now these added hypothetical thoughts of you still needing him even when alone. He had no qualms about admitting it himself. Those times he’d laid in his bed in Asgard, legs open and thrusting into his own hand as he’d envisioned you. It would make no sense to just sit there and suffer when the urges could be dealt with with a little imagination.
As it was now though, his hand concerned itself with the very real woman right in front of it as he started to rub his fingers between your legs. He’d never asked if you’d actually been a virgin before that first time he’d claimed you. He remembered some comment you’d made about your own intimacies being closer to never.
Yet it didn’t matter of course. Virginity was more just a concept than any real world value, especially to him. But he thought he was right in his sense that you were inexperienced at least. Which did stroke his ego as well to hope he was giving you pleasure beyond whatever you’d previously known.
And you did get wet easily he’d found. The amount of foreplay he gave you was more to stretch out the time together, even if he could already tell you were ready for him as smoothly as his fingers slid inside you then. It was a balance surely, not letting things be over too quickly, but also being so hard already himself and wanting to be inside you.
But he still delayed his own need, working his fingers methodically, trying to get that tell tale tremble to go through your legs. Those nerves were so sensitive he knew. Of course, it could be said that he had a very unfair advantage over other men in that arena, as obviously he’d practiced in his own female form many times as well.
He knew exactly how it could feel. How it did feel to get that stimulation. And he smiled as you moaned a little again, though maybe in time you’d learn to be louder for him. There was still a bit of shyness and pride there most likely, you holding back somewhat from what felt so good.
Yet he had got you going that night in the cave. Calling him “King”, telling him to fuck you. You’d just been trying to say what you thought he wanted to hear he was sure, but it hadn’t mattered for as good as it had still sounded coming out of your mouth.
He wondered how you would respond though, if it was him begging for you. He liked the idea as he now started to finally rub the tip of his erection against your entrance. He certainly didn’t have to fake anything on his own side though, knowing he must have that needful expression on his face by now for how badly he wanted to hurry and sheath himself inside you.
But he didn’t, instead grabbing hold of you to roll the two of you so he was now on his back with you straddling over the top of him. His swollen member now helpless against your stomach.
“Come on-” He groaned, almost calling you by your real name, though just barely stopping himself as Muninn was still here. He knew last night, even drunk as he’d been, he’d never actually called you a goddess or uttered your name in front the creature. And that was only for your protection.
But otherwise, let that spy dare bring news of this to Odin as Loki bucked a little beneath you, intentionally making a shameless moan as his cock scraped your abdomen roughly. And he did not miss the surprise on your face as he did so. He wanted you to ride him now, to let you control the force and the speed.
He knew you understood too. You weren’t that naive. But the hesitation in you was evident, making him have to speak further.
“Please,” He growled, honestly that desperation in his own voice triggering him even more. He did like this, the little role reversal. And oh, how many different games the two of you could play whenever you were finally more comfortable with him. No, he didn’t think any bedroom with you in it could ever become boring for him.
“Loki,” You had breathed in return, and he could hear that arousal permeating your own voice as well. It made his name sound so good, he wanted to hear it again and again even as he watched you lift yourself over him, blanket now thrown back and out of the way.
The view was exquisite. Watching you sink down onto him, feeling how tight it then was inside you as it took all his willpower to not immediately begin thrusting.
He was breathing harder now, trapped between your legs and loving it as you shifted, still trying to get accustomed to his width and length again before you would really start to move.
He still didn’t mind encouraging you though, guiding one of your hands then to splay it on his chest, wanting you to press down on him to steady yourself.
“Go on,” Loki all but begged. He could see that needful look returned in your own eyes however as you finally began to pump your hips.
Soft and rhythmic at first, he looked to the ceiling as his fingers dug into the outside of your thighs and he bit into his own lip at the torturously slow sensation. But this kind of delayed gratification was a torture he’d gladly accept an infinite amount of times over.
A reflexive gasp escaped him though as you suddenly raised up and slammed back down on him. Gods. Yes, that was the way.
“Harder,” He pleaded, your hand on his chest pushing into his sternum now almost as hard as your hips were moving against him.
Over and over, your bodies hitting together. He heard you hiss through your teeth though, his length finally hitting at a harsh enough angle to cause you real pain. But it would only have been your own doing, as he was still staying as still as he could.
Yet at the sound he forced his torso up, even then with your fingernails scraping down his chest as your hand slid down. He raised himself up enough to reach one of your breasts, mouthing it roughly and kissing it to distract you from the pain.
That elicited another real sound of pleasure from you before the hip thrusting started all over again, and you pushed him back against the bed with both your hands.
He grinned as his back hit the bed again. But you followed him down, your chests then colliding as you kissed him, still on top of him, still sliding him in and out so roughly between your legs.
And he couldn’t help it, grabbing you possessively, not letting you back up as the two of you kissed and he bit your tongue lightly then. This is what he wanted as he felt himself already so close to orgasm.
Some tiny, distant voice of reason reminded him he’d already been careless twice in his overwhelming desire for you however. Once at the cave, and then again in the forest that first night the two of you had come to this village. He’d given you his seed both times, wanting to feel you to the very last moment instead of pulling out.
He knew nothing of Olympian biology and if it was even compatible with that of an Asgardian to be true. Never before had he heard of a half breed between the races. But as young as you both were, it was certainly not something he would really wish to keep risking. He had zero interest in siring heirs when he had yet to claim the throne for himself of course. He’d have to be as old as Odin before he’d even consider it, not wanting to deal with more possible usurpers to his own ambitions.
And as he felt that release building in him, reason did finally win out and he all too reluctantly forced you back. Even as he continued to kiss you, he just used his hands to hold back your hips. Keeping him from reentering you as he did the last thrusts on his own, sliding against the skin of your stomach once more before he came on you both.
In the aftershocks of his orgasm he didn’t even care about the warm, sticky mess then between you. He just laid back, panting a little as he looked up in your eyes.
But he could see that little bit of question there as he smiled in what he knew was just an intentional play at arrogance on his part, his hands still rubbing your hips gently. “What, dear? As excellent an example of breeding stock as I am, I don’t think we’re quite ready for that burden do you?”
You gave a weak laugh though, and he knew you hadn’t even considered that full potential really, just as caught in all this as he was. But you must not have minded the mess much either, just laying back down on him afterward as you rest your head against him.
And it was so tempting to just stay that way, his arms then moving back around you. If only the both of you really could. But the realms weren’t quite ready for this power couple that he was already envisioning the two of you to be.
———————————
As you finally stood again to pull your dress back on, you didn’t worry about any of the remnants of Loki still on your abdomen. You’d have plenty of time to go bathe in the sea once he was gone again, which would be happening in only a few moments unfortunately. You’d both lingered together in bed as long as you could have, but he now had to return to his palace once more.
He’d already dressed himself again as well, using his magic to pull his clothing back from the floor and onto his body in the proper order quite quickly.
“What are you going to do with him?” You’d finally said though, eyeing the all too quiet chest on the floor with some concern. If the bird had passed on sometime in the night, you weren’t going to forgive yourself for not intervening sooner. But Loki had been so adamant that Odin’s ravens were far more resilient than you knew.
“Just keep him here for now.” Loki answered with all the emotion of someone commenting on the weather as he fussed a little more with straightening out his cloak that’d gotten wrinkled from being in a pile the night before.
“Oh, so I can be blamed by Odin if he dies?” You retorted, before thinking further. “Or by you if he escapes?”
Loki smirked at you, one you thought was meant to be charming, though you did realize he now seemed in a far better mood than he’d been in the night before. “I wouldn’t let that happen to you.” He promised.
Your eyebrow raised in an entirely disbelieving expression.
But Loki just continued. “And he can’t fly until his wing regenerates. It will at some point. But it’ll still take time. So guess who gets yet another new pet?”
“How lovely.” You answered with fake appreciation. “But won’t they come looking for him?”
“Oh those two can wander the realms for weeks before they check in again. They don’t come back until they have something they think Odin would wish to know. I’m sure in the real olden days it was daily, but with mostly peace in the realms again, there really isn’t much new to report now is there?”
“You have an answer for everything don’t you?” You kept on, though realizing it entirely futile.
He moved closer then though, just smiling still, “I have to go.”
And maybe it was only more manipulation, conning you into complying once more, but he actually leaned forward and kissed you. It was different though. Gentle, almost…caring?
But over just as quickly as he then walked for the door. “Do remember he does bite. And watch what you say around him. He never forgets any information until he’s delivered it to the Allfather.”
A bit late for that you thought. But maybe Loki truly didn’t care. Or every rude and awful thing he’d already said around the poor bird was really how he always spoke to him anyway in Asgard. Either way, this was not comforting to you in the least.
“Goodbye.” Was all you could think to say, still unsure how your previously, relatively uneventful life had now become as complicated as this.
But he actually said it back, a little look back at you before he closed the door, teasing that nickname purposefully again. One he must not think Muninn would be able to use against you at least. “Goodbye, Kærr. I’ll return when I can.”
———————————
Asgard, later that day
“I’m telling you something is going on.” Sif reiterated, arms crossed as they all remained gathered in the courtyard, now watching as Fandral and Hogun paired up for the next sparring match.
Fandral glanced over at her, right away barely dodging Hogun’s mace Hridgandr as he raised his shield. “So Loki’s sneaking around. What of it? That’s-” He grunted, almost getting knocked off balance as he had to sidestep again before plunging ahead with his sword. “That’s what snakes do.”
“Mind your tongue, that is my brother you speak of.” Thor warned, albeit with his feet now kicked up as he sat on the nearby ledge. His head still throbbed enough from last night, he now winced a little every time one of their weapons bounced loudly off the other’s shield.
“He does take the form of a serpent quite frequently.” Volstagg offered though. “Bugger got in my helmet once. Hah, but joke was on him. We’d just gotten back from Vanaheim and I hadn’t seen a bath in three weeks! Never seen a creature come back out so fast!”
“Ugh,” Fandral and Thor replied simultaneously.
“The maids said his quarters were locked all the way until after midday food in the hall.” Sif just continued, “And he was acting so strange yesterday morning, even for him, he-”
“Well what would Loki care for midday feast? Skin and bones that boy.” Volstagg interrupted.
And Fandral questioned, landing another near strike against Hogun. “Which maid said that? Helga or Ulfid?”
Yet Sif tried to ignore the both of them. “I’m saying I think he’s been going somewhere else, he-”
“Well where were you and Thor last night?” Fandral just interjected again.
Sif’s tone changed to an even deeper annoyance at that, quickly defending. “I was in my quarters.”
“As was I!” Thor answered all too fast, but then realizing his mistake, tried to backpedal just as quickly. “I mean, I was in my quarters of course, not Sif’s.” He chuckled a little nervously, intentionally looking away from everyone then.
Yet Sif just rolled her eyes, “And where were you, Fandral?”
But Fandral smirked provocatively, “With the maids, Helga and Ulfid of course. That’s why I asked which you’d spoken to. I left my belt and I need to fetch it back, I-”
Sif raised her hands. “Gods. Just stop. I don’t want to know.”
“You talk too much,” Hogun cut in at Fandral, sweeping the chain of the mace under the other’s feet then and laying him decidedly on his ass. Yet Hogun only continued after, already offering a hand to help Fandral back up. “Why do you not just ask Loki? See what lie he gives and investigate from there.”
Thor came back in at this though, that little tone of defensiveness returning. “But why does he have to be lying? Maybe he really was at the library yesterday, maybe he had a hangover today? It could be the truth!”
And at that every single one of them looked pointedly at Thor.
He stared back at them, defiant by nature, but at the same time withering slightly under the combined judgement of all his friends. “Okay, yes. He likes to bend the truth at times. But he’s my brother and I’d like it if we could stop gossiping about him. Are we warriors or are we maidens?”
And at Sif’s resulting death stare, Thor cleared his throat, but still continued. “Gossipy maidens…you know, like the maids, not like you of course, Sif!”
But Fandral raised his rapier again at that. “Now wait just a minute, you keep Helga and Ulfid’s honor out of this. Sif is the one so worried for some reason.” He looked to her tauntingly. “Keeping a watch on Loki now, Sif? What, do you fancy him all of the sudden? They say opposites can attract after all.”
Thor looked only further distressed at this, even as Sif spun instantly, drawing her own sword. “Alright, move Hogun, Fandral’s mine!”
Volstagg just spoke up cheerfully though, pointing across the courtyard then. “Oh look, there’s Loki now. Let’s just ask and put an end to this here and now, yeah?”
Fandral smiled, looking over as well. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear, lads.”
“He’s not the devil.” Thor chided lowly, now hopping off the ledge to come to standing. He cupped his hands around the sides of his mouth though, then calling out loudly all the way across the large courtyard. “Brother! Hey!”
The lean figure in the black and green leather paused suddenly at that. He’d only been using one of the open air corridors that bordered the courtyard. Several books in his hands when he’d had no choice but to turn his attention towards that bellowing call.
Thor brightened a little to see Loki then striding towards them a few moments later, the thunder god wanting to have this subject done and over with.
“Yes?” Loki just asked with little emotion though as soon as he’d stopped in front of them all.
This actually caught Thor off guard a little however, expecting something more sarcastic possibly, or maybe even a reprimand for screaming across the entire courtyard to start with.
“How are you feeling?” Thor just asked abruptly though, as usual having no real plan and just blurting out the first thing that came to mind.
Loki’s eyebrows did furrow at this though. “I’m…fine? Am I supposed to be otherwise?” He responded.
“Well, uh, I didn’t know. I heard you almost missed the beginning of the victory celebrations yesterday. Which you gave a mighty fine speech at by the way.” Thor tended to compliment others when nervous, but he just continued awkwardly. “And then this morning, you were all holed up in your quarters through half the day. So I just wanted to make sure, as we know you usually rise with the sun.”
Loki gave a brief glance to all of them before just looking back to Thor. “I lost track of time while in the library yesterday morning, my apologies, brother. And after last night’s lengthy celebrations I still had quite a headache long into this morning. I kept to my quarters with a few books that I’d checked out the other morning. I was only on my way to return them now.”
Thor smiled, also looking to the others before giving Loki a pat on the shoulder. “Well, we won’t keep you then. Thank you, brother.”
“Always,” Loki only returned the smile, giving a little nod before walking back away.
The group waited until he was well out of earshot and completely out of sight.
“Well, he’s plotting something. Sif was right.” Fandral mused.
“You see. If you’d only listen to me the first time.” She agreed.
But Thor seemed surprised at their interpretation, “What? No. He literally just said-”
“Said with a smile,” Fandral countered.
“And with extreme politeness,” Volstagg added.
“He might just be in a good mood today!” Thor tried to argue back.
But Fandral gave him a sympathetic look. “Thor, my good man, he’s your brother, yes. We understand. But he did not come across his own title by happenstance. The god of mischief just walked away from us with a smile on his face. There’s some sort of trickery now afoot, I assure you.”
Thor crossed his arms, giving them all a displeased look, still very reluctant to agree. “And you propose we do what then?”
“Reconnaissance.” Fandral said simply.
“Oh, a scouting mission. We haven’t had a proper one of those in a while!” Volstagg replied with a little excitement.
“We could speak to the librarian. Ask how often he’s really been in there?” Sif offered.
“And next time he doesn’t come out in the morning, we take an excursion across the balconies to see if anybody is really home.” Fandral continued, sounding quite sure that this would be a fun idea.
Thor still looked troubled though as he glanced to Hogun. “Do you have any words in the matter, friend?”
Hogun looked unimpressed as usual, but shrugged a little. “It will be good training. We have fought many physical battles recently. But not all battles are fought so plainly. Subterfuge is another component of war. To which I agree…in that, your brother excels far above yourself.”
“That’s because Thor is honest!” Sif defended.
“I only state the truth as well.” Hogun countered, though not offended.
Fandral raised his sword, pointing it to the sky symbolically. “Then it’s decided by democratic process. We shall commence operation ‘Catch a Snake’ posthaste!”
“Can we not at least name it something else?” Thor complained, yet knowing well when he’d already been overruled.
———————————
Midgard, that night
You had a few bruises on your hands from this long process of trial and error today, but it wasn’t terrible as you spoke to him softly yet again.
“Now, Muninn. You have to drink at least.” You had managed to finally pick him up out of the chest around midday, which is where most of the bites had come from. You’d just gone back to the sea ever so briefly before to clean yourself up, and brought back a little raw fish for him that he’d refused to eat and you’d had to throw it back out.
You’d also found some rudimentary wooden cups and bowls in another little holding chest as well though. So you’d gotten freshwater from the stream in one of the bowls as you now tried to offer it to him.
Every time you got too close with the bowl though, he’d just try to flap away from you. Usually falling over back onto the bed pathetically with his one working wing as you now sat there with him.
“Listen, I know I’ve already said this many times. But I’m not going to harm you. I don’t like this any more than you do, really. Yet, it’s not my place to tell one of Odin’s sons what to do. Surely you can sympathize a little? You must know the inner workings of Odin’s palace and the power structure there better than anyone.”
But the bird only fluffed up again, giving you that same irritable look he’d given most the day.
You had nowhere else to be right now though, then just laying down patiently on the bed as you propped yourself up with your elbows and watched him.
“Are you cold?” There was no insulation to speak of in the dwelling, and now with the snow laid thick on the outside, you could feel how much more the temperature had dropped in here even in comparison to this morning.
You guessed Persephone must have returned to her husband Hades fully now. So all the plants and grasses would wither as always, that time of cold and darkness lingering for months until the rebirth of spring.
You wondered if Asgard had the similar passage of the seasons though. Did it even rain there? Did it snow at times or have blistering heat at other periods?
There was still so very much you didn’t know. Loki had warned you about divulging anything to Muninn that you wouldn’t want Odin to hear. But what if it wasn’t any groundbreaking information you had to share? What if it was actually questions you had instead?
“So, is it true you can traverse the realms then without even using the bifrost?” Loki had seemed pleased the other night, saying something about Muninn finding a door for him. “It must be very interesting to be able to see so many places either way though.” You continued, but obviously still aware how much the bird would have rather been as far away from you as possible, instead of stuck here with this forced socialization.
“I’ve never been anywhere else.” You said truthfully though, still talking to him kindly. “I can only imagine what exciting things the other realms must hold. You’re quite lucky really…I mean, normally anyway. I know you must be in pain right now.”
You could see his black eyes upon you, he was listening, but still with his feathers fluffed.
“I wish you’d just admit that you’re cold, and likely hungry and thirsty.” You tilted your head a little, having an idea then of another strategy to try with him. “You know, Loki doesn’t have to know whether we were nice to each other or not. If you’re trying to make a show of things, thinking it’ll make you look weak in front of him otherwise…that’s not necessary if he isn’t even here to see it.”
You scooted the water bowl just a little closer to him, but also then moving the blanket very slowly to bunch it up in a little circle around him.
Seeing the blanket moving, he immediately tensed again, mouth opening threateningly as his good wing flared out.
“Easy…” You said, glad he actually seemed more focused on the blanket than your hands in that moment as you didn’t get bitten again. And you kept edging that blanket closer around him until it looked fairly comfortable you thought. “See? Like a little nest. Far better than a dusty old chest anyway, right?”
With that, you laid down on your side fully on the bed. The water was still in his reach if he wanted it, but you wouldn’t bother him anymore trying to manually offer it.
“I’m sorry.” You said softly still though. “None of this was supposed to happen. But I’ve never…” You paused, giving Muninn a sort of sad smile. “I’ve never met anyone like him.”
Was it wise to confess anything at all to this servant of Odin? No, surely it wasn’t. But who wouldn’t infer this eventually anyway? Why else would you be here at all? Why would you still be participating in this clearly escalating bit of madness?
“I know you’ll return to Odin as soon as you are able. And whatever transpires after that, I just want that one truth known. Anything I did was for the prince, for Loki.”
Even now you still wondered where he was, what he was doing, and when you could see him again.
“I care for him.” Was all you said next so simply though. An understatement as well perhaps, but the look in your eyes conveyed the truth.
And to finally say even that out loud opened something deeper inside you. You couldn’t turn back now even if you’d wanted to.
—————————
Asgard, that same night
Loki sat alone in his room, books strewn around him on his bed. Some of the books were the very same ones he’d been carrying when confronted by his brother and his brother’s friends earlier in the day.
He’d had to make a show afterward of actually going to the library as if to return them, to back up his excuse in case he was followed. But in reality the majority of these hadn’t even come from the library. The ones he’d been carrying earlier were actually Frigga’s own spell books.
He was researching tracking spells, knowing Muninn would heal soon enough and that all the risk he had taken in capturing him would be for naught if he couldn’t trace him back to whatever portal between the realms the spy had found. Huginn and Muninn were the only beings he was aware of that were gifted with the ability to sense and find even those smallest rifts between the worlds. And they exploited that fully as they travelled from realm to realm, acting as Odin’s eyes on all that transpired through the kingdoms.
Yes, it was now more crucial than ever that Loki find this workaround. He was still inwardly seething a bit to know that Thor and his friends had already gotten this far on his trail. He would now have to forfeit using the bifrost for some time, knowing they’d likely be watching his every move.
If he went back to you too soon, they would only follow and force him to return Muninn and reveal everything before he was ready. But if he waited too long, the bird would heal and eventually escape, flying to Asgard before he could trace him back to the location of the portal. Then all would also be revealed with Loki still having no way to return to Midgard if Odin had one of his usual stern upsets and forbid it.
But as he poured through the ancient pages, he still found his usual focus somewhat missing. He just kept recalling that odd feeling from this morning. In the quiet of that cabin before he’d woken you. And the alcohol couldn’t be blamed by then.
He took a breath, that fear twisting around in the back of his mind once more. He didn’t want to name it. Objectively though, there were only a few things it could be called.
For the average being, the word was often characterized by some sort of euphoria though. Or at least a sense of warmth, a profound glow, all things that were supposedly so common.
Yet for him, it was like a weight, tightening around him. Dread…to have something, someone to lose.
No, he wouldn’t name it. He wouldn’t call it what so many others might.
Summary: You were the one he couldn’t forget. The god of mischief’s former love before everything fell apart and he was condemned to a life of solitude. Now labeled a variant as well, you soon find yourself trapped in the void at the end of time. Confused and alone, you connect with the other versions of the man you last loved.
Notes: Kind of a quick one shot as I had nothing else ready to post at the moment. I hadn’t done anything for the Loki TV series yet either, so this is just a little something. The reader’s race isn’t really specified in this. They could be a human, Asgardian, or whatever you like.
Warnings: Angst, mention of character death, mention of past sex, a non consensual kiss at one point. But no smut in this.
You looked up towards the sky, eyes wide as yet another of those Chitauri abominations undulated overhead. An otherworldly scream left the behemoth as it scraped across the buildings as it passed.
But you could only keep running, glass and metal raining down as you did your best to dodge the larger pieces.
In your comm. link, you could hear the stress in your teammates’ voices as they alternated from relaying their own locations to asking for help if anyone was still free. The battle was not shifting in your favor. And there would be no hope at all if that portal could not be closed.
“I’ve reached Stark Tower! Can anyone give me a lift!?” You called out.
“Loki is too far gone, (Y/N)! I already tried! Get out of there!” You heard Thor’s voice in return.
But you had no time to argue with the thunder god. You knew Loki would still be too resentful of his brother to fully listen to him right now. The wounds still too fresh of finding out the life of lies that Odin had created.
Loki had had his identity torn asunder, but frost giant or Asgardian, you still knew the man you’d fallen in love with. And you would not give up on him now when he needed someone more than ever.
“Tony!” You called out instead. “Please, we have no other choice! If anything, let me distract him. Someone else get to the portal, you have to trust me!” You now had stopped in front the building.
The Chitauri soldiers on the ground had taken notice of you as you readied a fighting stance. “Tony, any time now. A little outnumbered here…”
“Got my own problems! Trying to get to-,” there were sounds of violent metal crashing and static over the radio. “Goddammit! Jarvis, reroute power from that stabilizer. Gonna be a minute here, (Y/N)! Cap, you still on?”
“Incoming for backup! On your six, (Y/N)!” You heard Steve next, even the super soldier sounding winded as you looked behind you just in time to see that flying shield connect with several Chitauri at once. They fell like wounded dominoes, even as you took out several more.
You’d run out of bullets several blocks ago. But you’d taken one of their weapons next, a staff that shot out some kind of energy pulses. It didn’t really matter what kind of energy to you though as you immobilized one enemy soldier after another, burning and blasting holes through them.
For a moment, you and Captain Rogers were back to back then, as he spoke just to you. “Look, I doubt anyone else is coming. Not before these things overrun us here. If you think you can make it to the top of that building the old fashioned way, I think it’s worth a shot.” He paused long enough to throw and then catch his returning shield yet again, the blood of the creatures starting to congeal on its edges. “Can’t say I’m a fan of that guy up there even one bit, but I do trust you.”
“Thank you,” Was all you could manage. There was no time for anything more heartfelt as the two of you exchanged last glances before you forced your way back towards the already broken glass doors of Stark Tower.
“Good luck!” You heard Steve call back, himself then running on down the street and drawing the Chitauri’s attention away from you as he did.
Once inside, you saw the power was still on for now, but it flickered several times as you’d run across the glass strewn lobby. You couldn’t risk getting stuck in one of the elevators right now as you still felt the building tremble every time another explosion echoed from outside.
Your heart was pounding in your chest as you’d started up one of the stairwells chosen at random. But you felt like a machine now, running up those countless stairs faster than you’d probably ever run towards anything in your life. Adrenaline, fear, and heartache were maybe the most powerful motivators there could ever be. It didn’t matter how many floors, or how much your calf and thigh muscles started to burn, you ran and ran.
But somewhere, maybe two thirds of the way up, there had been a much closer explosion. Your ears rang as you felt yourself falling backwards. You could taste blood in your mouth as you felt pain radiate all through you. You even blacked out for a moment before you’d opened your eyes again to find yourself bloodied and covered in concrete dust.
You could see daylight now through a massive hole where the building’s outer wall should have been. And a missing section of stairs that you’d just been about to cross before the injured Chitauri monster had crashed through it before flying on.
You could hear all the sounds of battle and death still outside, but you couldn’t let your thoughts linger on how close that may have been for you as you now just ran again and jumped the missing stair gap to continue upward once more.
You’d been here before, you knew where Tony’s executive suite was as you’d finally exited the stairwell.
“Loki!” You called out as you’d shoved open those doors. Everything almost looked just as it should. The bar, the furniture, only the panoramic glass windows were broken. Where Tony had been forced out against his will just a short time earlier you knew.
You paused only just long enough to see Loki’s back through the glass doors that led out onto the balcony and roof. The black leather, green cape, and golden horns, he was watching the battle from above, no doubt unable to hear you through all the noise from the ongoing war outside.
And you’d started towards him, only so many feet away from your goal now before a translucent rectangular shape emerged from nothing into your path. It made a sound as it did, several people emerging through it immediately, yet themselves wholly human looking. Not Chitauri, even as in the milliseconds that passed then, you’d already noted their black armor and the possible weapons gripped in their hands.
You’d lost the staff you’d been wielding when the stairwell had partially collapsed. All you could do was raise your arms reflexively, somehow even then feeling in danger before they’d spoken.
“Variant identified.” One said, albeit looking almost nonchalantly at some kind of device in their hand. Themselves upsettingly calm as if literal monsters weren’t darkening the sky all around.
You saw the others activate whatever weapons you assumed they were holding. You glanced back outside though to see Loki now walking away. He was moving back to go stand closer guard over the portal opening, farther from you.
“No! Loki!” You called again, as loud as you could as you abruptly made a run for it, trying to skirt around whoever these new soldiers now were.
“Not even a chance, sorry,” You heard one of them say, quicker than you could expect as they extended out that staff of their own. It barely even grazed you though as you’d tried to dodge just as quickly.
But it didn’t matter. Whatever their weapon did, you felt something almost akin to paralysis take hold. Yet, with one of your feet still frozen far off the floor as you’d been in mid run when it touched you.
How you didn’t fall forward, didn’t make sense. None of it made sense as they just kept talking before slipping some kind of collar around your throat.
“On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for crimes against the sacred timeline. You’re coming with us.” The one speaking then motioned to the others as the paralysis abruptly ended.
You did fall to the ground then, unabashedly single minded though as you immediately tried to run towards the outside again, to try and reach Loki.
He was completely out of sight now. But just as your hands reached the doors, you were abruptly back to where you’d been, back across the room in the spot where they’d first confronted you.
Fighting, you fell, but then ran again.
And then again you were in that same spot where you’d been before. You should have been afraid, but somehow you were only angry. Somehow the strangers were doing this to you. All of New York City and honestly the world were now in the balance, and they just wanted to mess around? Who the hell were they even!?
It only took two times for them to reset you that way before you lunged for the soldiers themselves instead. You knew how to fight bare handed. And you had no qualms about doing whatever you had to to finish the mission. Of course your individual love was partly selfish, you didn’t want to lose Loki for good. But you were here to save the others as well, and you wouldn’t let the Chitauri overtake this world either.
You’d die rather than give up now.
“Do we really have to deal with this?” One of them asked, almost bored sounding still as you found yourself falling to that same spot on the floor yet again before your fist could connect with their face.
“Violent one isn’t she?” Another commented as you almost landed a kick the next time.
“Yeah, maybe that’s why they get along? You know what though, no, we don’t have time for this. Literally. We’re getting close to redline here. Just prune her and reset the timeline.”
It was getting harder and harder to get up every time. You stood again one last time though, glowering at them. “I’m trying to save us all you idiots!” You spoke, voice breaking in frustration. The adrenaline was finally failing you, all your body starting to hurt again as you now felt the beginnings of panic.
“Nah. That’s our job, variant.”
And that condescending tone was the last thing you heard.
They’d encircled you. You couldn’t block them all as one had struck you with their staff again. But this time it was wholly different.
A searing pain and confusion went through you as you could see your body dissipating before your very eyes. Just horror, and then….nothing.
You had failed. You had failed everyone.
———————————
There was no perception of time when you’d next awoken. You could only remember those last moments so clearly, that torture of seeing Loki walking away from you. Him not even knowing you were there at all before those soldiers had attacked you.
As you started to sit up, you found everything still where it had been. Even though you’d watched your own body disappear as if you’d somehow been vaporized, you still had your arms, your legs, your hands.
You flexed your fingers within the torn leather gloves. You were still a bloody mess, your body suit cut and ripped. The concrete dust was still all over as you tried to stand.
You may have some smaller bone fractures considering the resulting pain, but nothing that would keep you down as you tried your comm. link on instinct, touching the tiny device still in your ear.
“Hey. This is (Y/N). Does anybody copy?” Static was all that returned to you. “Thor? Nat? …Anybody?”
You took a deep breath, not yet ready to turn the radio off even if it seemed like such a longshot now. “If you can hear me…I’m still alive. I just…I don’t know where.” Was it some kind of side effect of the Tesseract? Maybe more portals had been created than Loki had ever intended?
“Leaving comm’s on for now. Hope to hear you guys again soon…”
It was all you could do as you looked out into the distance. You didn’t feel like you were even on Earth any longer. A cold wind blowing across a wide plain of grass and debris that seemed to have no rhyme or reason.
There wasn’t another soul to be seen. So you just started walking, taking off that damned collar they’d put on you as you did so.
——————————
“I’m just saying, we look for a better chair for me. The one I have now, it’s a bit small.” The largest of the people now milling through the new arrivals in a debris pile spoke up.
“Maybe if you didn’t eat so many Twinkies.” The child with them answered with an eye roll, picking up a torn and dirtied magazine as he considered it.
“Hello, it takes calories to support all this muscle!” The larger man retorted, flexing one of his arms in an exaggerated gesture. “I can’t help it that the rest of you always look like someone could push you over with a feather! And besides, he got a pool!” The man scoffed lastly, motioning to the alligator now clawing into some cans beside them.
The creature opened its mouth with a deep hiss in return.
“Which he says he found on his own, thank you.” The oldest looking of them spoke up then, translating haughtily, before he walked away a bit from the others. He heard them continue to make a few more snide replies to one another afterward, but he was only watching the ground for anything of use to place in his satchel. Of course one ear still always listening for that distant rumble of Alioth as well though as he meandered on.
It wasn’t until he heard that distinct change of tone in the child’s voice, that air of warning which caused him to also look up again.
“Hey! Someone’s coming!” The child called out lowly to the others.
“Not one of that fool’s gang again? I’ll bash their skulls in this time.” The largest man threatened, readying his hammer.
“You say that every time…” The child growled back, “And no, no I think it’s…a woman?”
“A what?” The large one replied incredulously.
That would have been a rarity indeed. At least a woman on her own anyway. Most typically were snatched up by the roaming gangs fairly quickly.
As the older man looked towards where the child had been pointing, he did quickly agree that the individual walking towards them had more the gait of a female. Though naturally there was always a spectrum of such things. There was really no telling, without actually knowing.
“Should we stand our ground?” The older man asked, specifically more to the child, even without taking his eyes off the figure growing ever closer.
“We outnumber whoever it is, so I don’t see why we shouldn’t stay,” The boy answered. “I’m not going to let them steal our supplies…”
But the older looking man just kept staring at the stranger. Something starting to nag in his instincts from deeper within as the figure became more than just a silhouette in the distance.
It was something so foreign, yet so familiar. An ominous swell rising within him as his heart rate began to quicken. That walk…no, it was more than just a woman’s. He knew that stride, that confidence.
Even the uniform, though so damaged, he had seen it before. On one of the very worst days of his life he had had to kneel before that exact bloodied uniform and the lifeless woman then within it.
“Oh my god,” He breathed abruptly, in a tone that surely none of the others had ever heard from him before as he then hurried back down the debris pile, far quicker than he looked as he tried to close the distance to her.
——————————
You’d been walking for so very long. This was truly a wasteland you’d decided. But some things were familiar and others were not. You’d finally seen the shape of damaged buildings in the distance though, and had headed towards them in the hopes of finding any other living soul.
Any living being, and hopefully some sort of answers along with them. You’d been right at least too, as you’d seen the distinctive shapes of people then.
Just three of them, and there was no way to know if they’d be hostile or not. But you had to take the chance, and once you were sure they’d seen you as well there was no point in turning back.
But you had tensed a little when you saw one break away from the others, now almost running towards you. But whatever combat training would have reminded you to be at the ready seemed to pause as your brain hitched at the very distinctive horns on the helmet of the man now bounding towards you.
“(Y/N)!?” He called out in disbelief, yourself only further hesitating at the surprise of hearing your name from the stranger.
As the man reached you, the look on your face must have only been of caution and equal parts confusion as you stared back into his amazed expression.
His excitement seemed to teeter on the verge of pain however as he stared into your eyes and the lack of recognition then within them. “Of course…of course you would not recognize me this way. Even for gods, age does eventually make its mark.” He remarked somberly, albeit also blinking to fight off that wet shine starting to form in his eyes.
“My dear…my goddess, it is I. Look past this weathered face, these clothes that you never would have seen in your time.” He begged. “The eyes, love. Look at my eyes and tell me you do not know me…”
The voice, it was different of course. But something you could not deny was familiar to you. The cadence, the terms…only Loki ever called you his goddess. At least he had before he’d fallen under the influence of the scepter and the Tesseract.
You did stare deeper into those blue eyes though as your mind continued to churn. “You…want me to believe that you are Loki?” You eventually asked aloud as if just trying to buy your own self time as you felt that unease growing which you could not explain. Something about this man made you unable to deny the insanity of his claim outright.
But so many other things had already happened to you today that you never would have believed before either.
“It’s alright,” He assured you regardless of your hesitation. “I just…I’ve never seen a variant of you here, not once. What happened?” But he seemed to regret the question just as quickly. “No…no, that’s too much to ask you right now. Please, please let’s go somewhere safer. I’ll tell you everything. I can explain everything that’s gone wrong. You…you don’t know how I’ve missed you.”
“I…” Regardless of everything else right now, you did feel that he was sincere, that he would not harm you. And you wanted answers. But you hesitated, looking to the child and a larger man still staring at you both in what looked like shock themselves. Was that also some large reptile near their legs? “Who are they?” You asked aloud. Could you trust them either?
“They’ll understand once I explain. Please,” He offered you his hand. “Come with us.”
Even in that simple gesture, it sent a chill through you. The elegant way his fingers curved just slightly, a movement you’d seen so many times before. Loki pulling you into his grasp to dance, wanting you to take his hand as you walked the royal paths and gardens of Asgard…how could this man know to mimic even those smallest traits?
And why did you not resist? Your hand grasped warmly into his own as you let yourself be led away.
———————————
You sat oddly inside what had evidently once been a bowling alley. A glass of wine that’d been poured from a box now in your hand as an alligator lingered at your feet still looking at you quite curiously.
But you needed far stronger alcohol than this as you effectively tried to summarize the lengthy explanations you’d already been subjected to. “So you’re saying…there is no such thing as freewill. That any time we deviate from our previously destined fate, we’re immediately erased to this purgatory to die?”
The others just nodded, before you only continued. “And that my…my deviation, or my nexus event as you called it was that I was supposed to be killed at Stark Tower that day?” It still felt disturbing to even say something so morbid out loud, but the moment the TVA had tried to take you was just before you would have reached Loki.
If you were never supposed to reach him, only death could have stopped you. You knew that deep down.
The older Loki only answered you softly. “In my timeline, dear, it hadn’t been just an empty hole in the stairwell for you to cross. The Chitauri swarmed in through it like locusts. Even you couldn’t fight them all off then.” He looked down again, thoughts seeming to drift off again to tragic memories only he knew.
“I was the one that found you…” He continued despite himself. “But for you to be here now means that I had to be defeated by the Avengers…I had to stay on that dark path to serve my purpose to the ‘sacred timeline’. And mourning you, knowing my actions led to you losing your life while you’d only been trying to save me…there was no real coming back for me after that. Though Thor did try…”
You glanced to the other Lokis. They had already said that they did not know you. You thought perhaps they had been pruned too soon before you or a version of you at least could come into their own lives. Or maybe you hadn’t existed in those timelines at all? But regardless, they all seemed to be experiencing some sort of vicarious emotion from the older Loki now as no one looked anything but somber.
Yet really, for now only one more question lingered painfully in your mind as you finally had to ask. “But if I had reached you…if I’d gotten to that rooftop in New York, and begged you…would you have given up your conquest even for me, Loki? Would my sacrifice have even mattered?”
You felt you had a right to know. You had thrown your life away for that intention either way. Clearly, if you survived the battle of New York, you were only then thrown to the void by the TVA to die. And if you didn’t survive New York, then you were just more immediately dead.
But the cruelty in your question may have been too much at last as you saw his hurt blue eyes meet your gaze again.
Yet he had nothing left to hide it seemed, answering anyway even through the clear struggle of emotion.
“I…I think I would have listened to you at least. I mean, you would have had to change something by facing me on that rooftop. They wouldn’t have deemed you a variant otherwise, my dear. But…I must shamefully admit, knowing who I was then, I may have only tried to force you to join me. Rather than give up my perceived kingdom…I would have wanted you to rule it at my side.”
“What?” The more boastful Loki you had deemed him, interjected. “Like get married? Take a queen? Lokis don’t get married my friend. And Lokis do not share power.”
“Spoken like a man never in love.” The older Loki just countered with a sad smirk. “Lokis can lie as long as they want. We do not want to die alone either. We’ve all always wished for a true companion. I just got closer than most of us.”
You tried to wipe at your own eyes without the others noticing. So very rarely had you ever heard Loki use that word love directly to you. But if this really was just the man your own Loki would one day be, if this is how your Loki had felt, you could only continue to wish that it had been true. That he had sincerely loved you somewhere deep down, even after everything he’d done.
But regardless, you’d never see him again now. If there was really no way out of here, if time stood still in this place, it was hell in the almost literal sense of the word. An eternity of suffering, special made for all of you.
As you tried to force those terrible thoughts back away though, the tears begging to escape, you felt a rough nudge to your ankle.
Looking down, the alligator Loki just rested his snout on the top of your foot, looking up at you with if you weren’t already at the edge of sanity you might have tried to convince yourself was not a look of sympathy now coming from a reptile.
You mouthed the words ‘thank you’ to him regardless though, hearing only a satisfied type of growl as he closed his eyes, seemingly content to enjoy a nap against your boots.
——————————
As could be expected there was no sense of time in the void. No real days or nights. But the boys had accommodated you as best they could you thought. Making a separate area for you to have a little privacy even within their Loki den.
It was the older, or as he jokingly preferred, the classic Loki that you were closest to of course. He was the most like the Loki you remembered. The one you still had silent hopes to one day see again.
You acted as a comfort for one another, with long conversations and sharing old memories none of the others could understand. You knew to him you were family he’d never thought he’d get to see again. And you were happy to help him relieve some of that ancient guilt as you assured him time and again that you did not blame him for your death in his timeline. You had made your own choices. The consequences were just what they were at this point.
But there was one odd thing you had picked up on after a while. He didn’t like you to leave the den at all. It was almost a fatherly kind of protection by now really. But you still had to push back on that. As Alioth or not, you had to have some fresh air here and there.
And you wanted to be useful, to help find resources with the others as well as do your part to protect them.
Eventually though, you did finally realize what it was he was really so concerned about. Not Alioth, or the gangs really. Or at least not a gang on its own, but rather its leader.
Even classic Loki could withhold truths from you it seemed, as you’d eventually been out looking for food or more drinks one ‘day’ you’d still call it at least even if time never truly passed here. Kid Loki and his Hi-C’s were something else as fast as the boy could go through those things whenever you could find them.
But boastful Loki had been your only partner on that particular hunting trip. And you’d been far enough out of each other’s sight when you’d heard a distinct whistle.
You froze immediately, those few special memories springing to mind at the long lost sound. That was the ‘hey, I don’t want to call for you all the way across the palace courtyard, but come meet me in my bedroom now’ whistle as your heart leapt into your throat.
Classic Loki wouldn’t do that even if he remembered it, you also knew that instantaneously. He’d never been anything but a gentleman to you since your arrival. So you didn’t know what else to expect as you’d somewhat fearfully turned around.
“Hello, love.” Loki almost purred, in that deeper voice you’d usually only heard when he was either very aroused or very angry.
But of all the Lokis you’d seen to this point, this was the first one that had the same face as your own Loki that you’d been stolen away from. Though the clothing was very different. A suit and smaller horns as he walked closer with his hands in his pockets, and an odd political button on his chest.
“I’d heard the lesser Lokis had adopted a woman into their group. But imagine my disbelief, trying to reason it must only be yet another boring version of ourselves. And then, a little spy tells me it’s not a female Loki at all. But a woman at least one of us had once wanted to call their queen….color me quite interested then.”
You straightened, cautious, yet unable to stop listening, to stop looking into his eyes as you’d wanted to see him again for so very long. But was he really like your Loki? All the Lokis were different, even classic Loki had lived so many centuries without you that he’d grown and changed from the exact one you remembered.
The way this Loki leered at you though, it invoked more the Loki who had obsessed most over the Tesseract. The one that had killed Agent Coulson right in front of the rest of you.
“Loki….” You answered, partly surprised still, but partly in warning as he neared ever closer to you.
But he wore your lover’s face. It was wholly unfair as he only smiled in pleasure as his name left your mouth.
“You know, in my timeline we did become lovers as well. But I didn’t let you join the Avengers…not until you promised to betray them for me at least.”
You stared, clearly disbelieving. “And how did that work out for us?”
He just chuckled, a dark sound. “Oh, just with you dead in Stark Tower yet again. You tried to double cross me.” He was now standing directly in front of you. “Love, I can only imagine how many times you’ve died on Tony Stark’s property by now.”
“Did you kill me?” You breathed, really starting to consider calling out for boastful Loki, not that he could possibly get to you to help in time.
This new Loki’s eyebrows raised, but he only looked your body over, not even trying to hide his want. “You really think I would ever plunge a dagger between those lovely breasts? Now, maybe something of mine between your legs of course…but only when you begged me for it, as you did quite often.”
“Oh? So it was just sex in your timeline?” You asked bluntly, the question legitimate, even if you might still be talking just for the sake of it, trying not to fall prey to him as you took a quick step back. But deep down that implication could still hurt if you let it, even though classic Loki had assured you you’d truly been loved in his universe. Maybe every timeline really was so different, that for other Lokis you’d just been someone else to bed.
What were you then to your own Loki? But you only glared then as this Loki laughed at you abruptly.
“And what would that matter if I only wanted physical pleasure? I don’t remember you being so sensitive. In your timeline, dear, did we only whisper sweet nothings and coddle one another late into the night then? Sounds awful…tell me, why in Hel would I want a kitten when I could have a lioness?”
That was it. His mocking tone was only growing and you weren’t going to be tormented like that, no matter whose face he had. You turned your back to him to decidedly walk away.
He was not your Loki.
But you can’t say you were surprised either when he immediately resisted your attempt to leave. All Lokis had to have the last word after all.
What did surprise you though was that instead of him spitting any additional venomous or insulting words to you in response, you just felt his hand grab your wrist roughly before he spun you back around and slammed his lips against yours.
You tried to push him back in reflex, but he only caught you around the waist, holding you almost painfully tight as his tongue then forced its way into your mouth.
It was somewhat frightening, yourself not used to the force. But albeit him tasting just the same as you always remembered him. It was so confusing, both knowing that this was but wasn’t right. He was a Loki, but not the one you’d let explore your body so many times before. In reality, you were being kissed by a total stranger.
There was a true cruelty to that as well that no one should ever have to experience, the familiarity enough to make you want to believe your loved one had been returned to you. Yet the heart knowing it was just wrong enough, and not your loved one at all.
To your further shock though, it was him that actually broke the kiss first. And as you stared at him, trying to understand, that is when you finally saw something more than arrogance or coldness in his eyes. You saw that trace of sadness all the Lokis had before he was able to conceal it again behind his own glare.
“You aren’t her.” He said so plainly, but with the air of someone who had just lost something very important all over again.
“No,” You said quietly, regret starting to tinge your own voice as you finally understood. He was looking for the same thing you were. He wanted someone he could no longer have.
You heard an annoyed sigh escape him, even as he didn’t let go of you. He sneered a little afterward, irritation evident as he just began talking again. “You know, in my timeline you did actually make it to that rooftop. But I’d gone after the other Avengers already. And I’d stopped Romanoff from getting the scepter, so there was nothing the idiots could close the portal with. I was on the verge of winning!”
He had your wrist still, his cold hand squeezing it harshly as he looked into your eyes while the anger of the memory grew. “But the humans were going to vaporize the entire city with one of their bombs rather than lose to me. So you decided you had to save us all.”
There was clear accusation in his tone, but you just kept silent as he confessed this to you.
“Ihated you for it too. I couldn’t understand why you would sacrifice yourself for those insects. If I’d known your plan for even an instant, I’d have taken you and fled that place. I’d have done anything, not to have just been left with that scene that day. You took the Tesseract with your own hands. You pulled it from the machine and broke the doorway. But it was active then, an infinity stone at near full power. No one there could have handled it bare handed as you did and not have paid the price!”
You stared at him. This was not the anger of a man that had lost just another toy from out of his bed. You did have meaning to him after all if your departure had torn this big of a hole through him.
But could he really not understand your motivations then? Why were they all so stubborn!?
“You really think I would have killed myself if it wasn’t to save you too, Loki!?” You shot back, even the fear of Alioth not enough to quiet your rising voice now. “I wanted you back! Everything I did, you were my goal! Everyone else was only second. Everything else was always second. I wasn’t any less selfish!”
It was the truth. It was all only the truth. Maybe you’d only gotten what you’d deserved after all. Maybe you did deserve to be here, a punishment fit for two.
But he was just staring at you now. And you couldn’t handle that either before you were the one to kiss him this time.
It was still wrong, but he didn’t fight it as he closed his eyes. This time letting you lead just enough to give the action more than just that sense of forcefulness and lust. You tried to kiss him how you would have kissed your own Loki had he been standing before you right now. Desire yes, but affection as well, that special emotion reserved for the most important person that had ever filled your heart.
And when you finally did pull away again, it was clear he hadn’t wanted you to stop as he opened his eyes once more. Regretfully he frowned, his voice the quietest it had been yet. “And is that how you and he used to do it?”
“Yes,” You answered. Only surprised again when he suddenly let you go.
“I may not be your Loki, and you not my…well, you.” He spoke, albeit backing away now. He hid it well, but something still seemed shaken in his confidence that he’d come here with. “But come find me again, love, whenever you tire of being treated like a ‘lady’ by that old man and his vagabonds. Come to me whenever you’re ready for some real physical comfort from a true Loki. That’s the best I can offer you.”
Your eyebrows lowered, the deja vu so strong somehow as he walked away. In the beginning of your relationship years ago, Loki had wasted so much time trying to prove to himself that he didn’t really need you. Just because he was so afraid of the implications and the potential consequences deep down. And it was like going back to the very beginning in that moment.
But you couldn’t say what would happen now. You could only try to keep surviving. Maybe he deserved to be alone, but maybe he didn’t. What was really right or wrong when time no longer even existed for any of you? “If Alioth doesn’t kill me first…eternity sure is a long time. So never say never I guess. Right, Mr. President?” You taunted a little back in reference to his attire, just loud enough that you were sure he’d still hear you.
To his credit, he didn’t even pause in his stride either. Himself not looking back, refusing to give you that. But you heard that sardonic tone drift back none the less. “Now that does sound a bit more like her…I’ll be waiting to see if there’s any more in there somewhere. Maybe you’ll surprise me one day.”
Once he was finally gone though, you stood there in a little residual frustration for just a few more moments before you finally began walking in the opposite direction yourself.
By the time you’d rounded a few more hills of debris, back to where you’d last seen boastful Loki, you were actually a little surprised to see him still standing there.
He hadn’t collected a single piece of anything you saw, and the momentary bit of shock on his own face to see you already back told you all the rest of the story that you needed to know.
So here was President Loki’s ‘little spy’.
“Please tell me you were at least going to trade me to him for more than just a bigger chair.” You grumbled, not quite sure yet how much of a scene you wanted to make about this.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He tried, just straightening up into reflexive lies.
“Don’t.” You waved a hand. “I know all of you too well. I just want to know I’m worth more than a damn chair in this place. Can you at least answer the question?”
You saw him hesitate, no doubt that endless fountain of creative deceptions spinning full tilt as he tried to decide on which route to take.
“Loki,” You just sighed at him at last though, too many emotions in the last few moments to stay angry for very long. “He didn’t hurt me. You didn’t hurt me. So it’s not worth telling all the others. Whatever plot you have going on, they wouldn’t be surprised anyway. And if you just want to pretend that I’m an idiot, then go ahead. But let’s at least get some things to bring back to look like we did something out here.”
While he stared at you, you just grumpily followed through on your word, starting to collect anything that looked useful and placing it in your bag as if he wasn’t even there.
“I know you aren’t an idiot.” His voice finally spoke after a few more moments though making you glance back over.
He looked as annoyed as you however, just continuing. “He acts so tough doesn’t he? Like all of us I guess. But I really didn’t think he’d let you go after all his talk. What a pretender.”
You raised an eyebrow, yet answering all the while going back to sifting through the trash. “Well, I think he just realized I wasn’t actually the same person as who he lost.”
“No, I suppose you wouldn’t be.” Boastful Loki admitted, yet with a little weight to his tone that was a bit unusual for him.
When you felt his eyes still on you, you spoke again. “What? Look, the sooner we can get some supplies, the sooner we can go back. Are you going to help or not?”
His chuckle surprised you a little before he did finally start looking through the debris as well. “You know, if you can keep this failed trade to yourself, I think I’m safe to tell you one more thing.”
“I’m listening.” You responded, albeit only thinking he was going to tell you about some other predictable betrayal he’d been thinking of.
“I lied when I said I did not know you.” He admitted.
That was a little more interesting, but you chose not to show it, just saying, “Oh?” If he wanted to talk about it much further, he would. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t. You weren’t much in the mood to hear about yet another tragic way you’d died at Stark Tower today.
“Well, sort of. I mean, your name was (male version of Y/N) there.”
Okay, that was a new one. You were a man in his timeline? You couldn’t help but make eye contact with him again then. “Then how do you know it was actually me?”
“I was skeptical at first. Obvious differences in appearance of course,” He agreed. “But…the more you talk, the more you remind me of him. The things you say, the way you say them.” He smiled a wistful kind of smile then that instantly reminded you of classic Loki, as if he were reliving some old pleasant memories.
It was odd, as boastful Loki had never yet offered such a personal confession to you. But you couldn’t help but smile too, sensing the evident fondness he must have had for that person. “Was he handsome?” You questioned almost a little playfully.
“Oh, what, you fishing for compliments now?” He retorted tauntingly, but answered quite decidedly. “Of course he was! I mean, to me he was obviously. A warrior too.”
“Of course.” You answered.
“But it was more.” Loki continued sincerely, “He didn’t mind my bragging you know? He listened. He even enjoyed it I think. He didn’t judge me…”
You smirked a little, knowing that particular role all too well. Maybe some things never really did change. A few constants through all the timelines that even the TVA couldn’t stop. “It’s called love. You guys just take too long to label it.”
He hesitated, that sad look coming over him for just another moment. “I do miss him.”
You didn’t have to respond then for him to know how much you understood. You all missed your other halves…deeply.
But perhaps a real hero would emerge one day and do away with the TVA at last. Someone who could free the timelines and the multiverse for every single one of you to exist together again in your own branches just as you always should have.
Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, imprisonment, I think that’s it………if I missed something I’m sorry
Summary: loki and frigga put their plan into action as you work to move on.
Part 15-
====================================
Asgard-
“You know what to do.” Frigga said as her and Loki walked down the corridor. He nodded slightly, breaking off heading to his chambers. A week had passed and he was running out of time. He closed the door, locking it, he couldn’t be disturbed if this was going to work, it had to be believable.
He sat on the bed, crossing his legs putting his feet under his knees. He closed his eyes and focused. He knew this would drain his power, but there was no other way. Summoning all of his seidr, he focused on his duplicate, willing it to life. He opened his eyes and he was in the corridor. He felt it flicker for a brief second, but pushed more of his seidr into it. He took a deep breath and started towards the throne room.
Frigga was standing by the doors. He walked up standing next to her. “Are you in your chambers?” She whispered. He looked at her and nodded. She smiled as they looked at eachother. “Let’s get you home.” She said as he nodded, and they both walked into the throne room. “Your highness, it seems I have been called away on urgent business in Jotunhiem, there has been an uprising that must be quelled.” Loki said standing in front of the steps. Thor looked at Loki, and then to Frigga. “Can not one of your generals handle this issue?” He asked standing up.
“I’m afraid not, the generals are overwhelmed, so I must return at once.” Loki said looking at him. Thor started walking down the steps, not taking his eyes off of Loki. “And when will you return, your bride will be here day after tomorrow.” Thor said circling around him. “I should return by then.” Loki said watching Thor. Thor suddenly smiled “very well brother, I shall accompany you to the bifrost.” Thor said extending his arm. Loki nodded and headed out of the room.
They made it to the bifrost, Loki and Frigga exchanged a look. “Hiemdall, King Loki must return to Jotunhiem briefly, will you open the bifrost?” Thor said smiling at Loki. Heimdall looked at Thor before looking to Frigga. “Yes my king.” He said, turning the sword opening the bifrost. “I will see you in two days time brother.” Thor smiled. Loki nodded and walked into the lights before Heimdall shut it down. Thor turned to leave nodding at Frigga “Mother” before leaving. Frigga looked to Heimdall “Thank you.” She said nodding. He nodded but didn’t say anything. She turned and quickly headed back towards the palace.
She made it to Loki’s chambers, looking around to ensure she was alone before slipping in. “Are you ok?” She asked seeing Loki rubbing his temples. “Fine, just drained. He wasn’t supposed to come with us.” He said looking at her. “It will be fine, we must go now.” She said rushing to the door, Loki following. They were both on high alert as they made their way to the stables, there were other pathways to earth, Loki just had to get there without being seen, and using all of his power to cast the duplicate left his seidr depleted, unable to disguise himself.
“Go, find your happiness son. I hope to one day see you again.” Frigga said hugging him. “Thank you mother.” He said hugging her back. “I must get back before I make noticed, you know the way.” She said looking at him. He nodded and smiled at her. She smiled back, and turned heading back to the palace. Loki ran into the stable pulling a horse out. “Brother, surprising seeing you here.” He heard. He stiffened “damn.” He said slowly turning to see Thor with several Einherjar. “I was wondering when you were going to stop falling for that.” Loki said, sarcasm laced in his tone. Thor huffed a laugh “take him to the dungeons.” Thor bellowed as the gaurds surrounded Loki.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Earth-
You were making tea when you heard a knock on the door. You had had several people come look at the property but no serious inquiries, you were hoping this one would be the one, you couldn’t be here anymore. You ran to the door with a smile “oh, Dr Laing, what are you doing here?” You asked surprised. “Afternoon y/n, I’ve come to look at the property.” He said with a smile. “Oh, well come in, I’ll show you around.” You ushered him inside.
You went over the details of the house with him, giving him a tour before heading outside. “What happened there?” He asked pointing to the scorched grass. “Oh, just a freak incident a little while back, it should grow out fine though.” You said as he nodded. You showed him the fields, and took him to the stables. “I didn’t know you had horses y/n.” He said looking at you. “Oh, yeah they were my dad’s, that’s buttercup and daredevil.” You said pointing at them. “What will happen to them when you sell?” He asked looking at you. “I’m hoping to find someone who would want to keep them here, but if not I’m not sure yet.” You said closing the doors.
You went back to the house inviting him in. “I was making some tea, would you like some?” You asked heading to the kitchen. “Yes please.” He said looking around. You came back out ushering him to the table. “So y/n, I am very interested in your property, and I was wondering what your asking price was?” He asked sipping his tea. “Well I hadn’t totally decided yet, I just wanted to leave as soon as possible.” You said stirring your tea. “Well, I would defiantly love to go over that with you when you’ve made a decision.” He said looking at you. “That would be great, I’m sure we can come together on a price.” You said looking down.
“Are you entirely sure you want to sell?” He asked leaning forward. Clearing your throat “yes I am. There are too many memories here. I need to start over, somewhere new.” You said fighting your tears back. He nodded finishing his tea. “Well and I would love for the animals to stay, if that’s something you would agree to.” He said smiling. “Oh, I would love if they could.” You said with a smile. “Well then, I’ll leave you to decide, I’ll be in touch, and you know how to reach me.” He said standing. “Yes, as soon as I figure out the details I will call you.” You said walking him to the door.
“Good night y/n.” He said nodding “good night Dr Laing.” You said closing the door behind him. You sighed as he left, you were finally going to be able to move forward, and knowing the animals would be ok was a relief. You laid on the couch, wrapping the blanket around you, the tears you had been holding in escaping, running down to the pillow. You wrapped your arm around your stomach “We’ll be out of here soon little one.” You whispered. Closing your eyes letting the escape of sleep take you..
Warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, sadness, mentions of pregnancy, depression.
Summary: loki and frigga work on their plan. As you try to find a way to move forward.
Part 14-
====================================
Asgard-
A week had gone by with no word from frigga as the wedding plans moved forward. Loki was pacing his chambers as he heard a knock. He ran to open it finding a gaurd standing there. “The king requires your presence.” He said backing up. Loki nodded, closing his door following. “Brother.” Thor bellowed as he entered the throne room. He only nodded as he stood before the throne. “Why have you called me?” Loki asked looking up at him. “Good news, I have found a suitable wife for you.” Thor said getting up walking down the steps. “She is on her way, and you shall be married in two weeks time.” He said clapping a hand down on Loki’s shoulder. “And why must I do this?” Loki asked moving away from Thor. “So solidify the alliance, you must marry an asgasdian.” Thor said simply. “You know very well I cannot take her back to Jotunhiem, she will perish” loki said looking at him. “We’ll figure that out, come, let’s go over the arrangements.” Thor said walking away, Loki following.
Loki stormed into his room slamming the door. He needed to do something but it was beginning to seem hopeless. “Loki, my son.” Loki looked up seeing frigga. “Have you found a way?” He asked walking to her. “I believe I have. Come.” She said motioning to the lais. They discussed her plan, making sure they worked out every detail. “I must go before I am missed, you know the plan.” She said standing up. “Yes, and we must act fast. I am to be married in two weeks.” Loki said following her to his door. “We will enact our plan soon, wait for my word.” She said. “And son, I am truly sorry for everything. And I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.” She said cupping his cheek. He closed his eyes and nodded. “I just need to be with her.” He said looking at her. “And you shall be, stay strong and be ready.” She said slipping out the door.
She made it to her chambers and heard a knock on the door, as Thor entered. “Mother, may I ask what it was you were doing in Loki’s chambers?” He asked coming to stand in the middle of the room. “I was only asking him of the progress of his union.” She said sitting down. He eyed her sitting across from her. “I would hope you two would not be plotting behind my back.” He said looking at her. “No my king, only catching up, I see him so little.” She said not breaking eye contact. “He is to be married in two weeks, and then he will return to Jotunhiem.” Thor said standing up. “And what of his bride? It is far too cold there for her to survive.” She asked looking at him. “He will need to remedy that, it is not my concern.” He said heading for the door. “And mother, no more sneaking around.” He said turning towards her. “Yes my king.” She said bowing her head. With that he was gone. She sighed, hoping their plan would work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Earth-
You went about your routine in a daze. You felt like you were on autopilot. You had been taking your vitamins everyday which helped you feel a bit better, but not much. Everything was overwhelming since you found out. You continued sleeping on the couch, unable to sleep in bed without him. Everything felt empty, lifeless as you wandered through your days.
Every night you would take your tea and sit on the porch watching the sunset, secretly hoping to see the rainbow lights again, hoping he would come home, and every night was the same, nothing. As you walked through the house everything reminded you of him. The front door where he would pounce on you when you came in, the kitchen where he would hold you until your coffee was done, the bathroom where he had taken care of you. You had made love to him in every room, every surface holding a memory of him. You went to his room, opening the door you were hit with the smell of him. You hadn’t come in here since he left. You just stood in the middle of the room, replaying everything in your mind.
“I need to get up.” You said. “No you don’t” he said, snuggling into you.
“I love you Adam.” You said hugging him. “I love you more.” He said, leaning down kissing you.
You felt the tears run down your face as the memories flashed in your mind. You loved him, love him, but he didn’t feel the same, he left. You went to the living room, remembering your last night with him, staring into his eyes as he held you close to him, your bodies connected. In that moment you felt your souls connect. You had never made love to anyone so intimately. You laid on the couch, wrapping yourself in the blanket you let the tears fall. There was nothing you could do but try to move on.
You had decided to sell the farm. The memories being too much to handle. You rolled over onto your back, rubbing your stomach. “We’ll figure it out little one, I promise.” You sighed. You had a couple people coming to look at the farm tomorrow, hoping one would work out. You didn’t want to, but you couldn’t be here anymore, surrounded my the memories, the pain. You closed your eyes, hoping sleep would take you.
Warnings: mentions of illness, self esteem issues, mentions of birth control, mentions of arranged marriage.
Summary:you try to figure things out as life gets complicated.
Part 13-
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Earth-
A month had gone by and your stomach hadn’t eased, the nausea still hitting at random times. So you decided it was time to see the doctor. As you say in the waiting room, your nerves were a mess. The last time you were here you had Loki with you. You teared up remembering the day you decided to take care of him, be there for him, and now you had no one to be there for you.
Your name was called and they showed you to a room. You sat alone in silence. Thoughts whirling in your head when you heard a knock on the door. “Come in” you said straightening up. “Morning y/n, whay brings you in today?” Dr Laing asked sitting down. “Well I’m still feeling nauseous, and getting sick alot. I’ve been exhausted lately and I don’t know why.” You said. He looked over your chart and hummed. “Have you been under any stress lately?” He asked flipping through the pages. “Yes, a bit. Trying to keep the farm going has been hard.” You said looking down. “Any medications your taking?” He asked standing and walking to you. “Um, not really. Just over the counter pain killers and my birth control.” You said seeing him nod. “OK we’ll run a few tests and see what’s going on.” He smiled setting his clipboard down.
An hour later you were back in the room waiting for the doctor. You couldn’t help fidget either your hands as you waited. A knock came as the doctor came in. “Well y/n, we got your results back.” He sat looking at his clipboard “turns out your expecting.” Your eyes went wide as your jaw dropped. “H..how……I’ve been taking my medication for years.” You said looking at him. “Well that’s not always totally effective, and if you missed a couple doses…” he trailed off looking at you. Had you missed some, it was possible.
He handed you a prescription for vitamins “I want you to go pick those up and start taking them, vet plenty of rest, don’t exert yourself.” He said placing his hand on your shoulder. You looked down and nodded. “We’ll get you set up with ongoing appointments to make sure you and baby are healthy, and if you need anything call ok.” He said stepping back. “OK, Thank you.” You said sliding off the table heading to the receptionist. You drove home in a daze. You sat at the table looking at the bottle of vitamins. “How am I going to do this?” You thought to yourself as you layed your head on the table.
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Asgard-
“What is it Heimdall?” Frigga asked walking into the bifrost. “You had asked me to keep an eye on the mortal, and there is news.” He said looking at her. “Is she OK? What happened?” She asked stepping closer. “She is with child my lady. Loki’s child.” He said. Frigga froze “I didn’t think that was possible. Are you certain it is Loki’s?” She asked stepping closer. “Yes my lady, I am certain.” He said looking at her. I must inform Loki at once.“ She said. "He is om Jotunhiem my lady, the king has ordered no one to go there until the alliance is complete.” Heimdall said. Frigga thought for a moment. “Then we shall bring him here, I’ll find a way.” She said as she left.
Frigga walked into the throne room “my king, any progress on the alliance with Jotunhiem?” She asked looking to Thor. “Indeed, I was about to send for king Loki to finalize it.” Thor said standing. “That is wonderful news my king, what else must be done?” Frigga asked walking with Thor towards the bifrost. “The arrangements have all been made, I shall return the casket to them, and Loki is to marry.” He said continuing to the bridge. “Marry? Marry who?” She asked stunned. “Asgard has no princess, so it will be a noble woman of my choosing. Once he is married the casket will be returned, cementing the alliance.” He said
“Are you sure that is wise my king? Loki has only ruled a short time, why not let him settle into his role before he marries.” Frigga said as they entered the bifrost “Heimdall, open the bifrost to Jotunhiem and summon king Loki.” Thor said. Heimdall looked to frigga who shook her head. “Yes my king” he said twisting the sword activating the bifrost. “Jotunhiem needs a queen and an heir to secure Loki’s rule. It shall be done.” Thor said. “Yes my king.” She said looking at the entrance as Loki walked through. She hadn’t seen him in his true form since he was an infant. He stood tall, clothed in white and gold leathers, a white cloak with fur lined the top, and a blue horned crown on his head, similar to his helm. His long black hair framed his face, his skin a deep blue, eyes blood red. She could see the ancestral ridges along his face. He stood emotionless, distant. “King Thor, why is it you have summoned me?” His voice boomed through the room. “Come, we have much to discuss.” Thor said heading to the bridge.
Loki went to follow when frigga softly touched his arm. He stopped and looked down at her. “Your highness, I must speak with you at once.” She whispered to him. He slightly nodded before following Thor. She shot Heimdall a look before following the kings to the palace. Frigga had to find a way to get Loki back to earth, back to his love. She just wasn’t sure how.
Frigga waited in Loki’s room, pacing as she waited for him. Suddenly she heard the chamber door slam shut. “That oaf expects me to marry!! I will not!!” He yelled throwing his cape on the chair. “King Loki, I must speak with you as once.” Frigga said watching Loki pace back and forth. “I agreed to take the throne, not marry!!” He yelled again, continuing pacing. “Loki!” She yelled getting his attention. “What is it!?” He looked at her, his red eyes staring into her. “You may want to sit down.” She said looking at him.
She sat across from him, thinking. “Well, what is it?” He asked leaning forward on the lais. She fidgeting her hands “Loki, son, it was a mistake bringing you here, I see that now.” She said looking at him. He didn’t say anything, just looked at her. “You were happy, loved. You found what others only dream to.” She said, seeing tears form in his eyes. “I fear is it too late, she won’t want me after leaving her.” He said shakely looking down. “You are wrong Loki, she loved you and loved you still.” She said looking at him. “Heimdall has kept watch over her, to make sure she is safe.” She said. Loki’s head shot up “and is she safe? What’s happened?” He asked looking at her.
“She is fine, she has been ill, but fine” frigga said. “Why is she ill? Tell me what’s going on?” He demanded standing up. “I cannot tell you, it is her who must.” Frigga said standing, walking to Loki. “We must find a way to return you to her, she needs you.” She said. “Go along with Thor, for now. I’ll come up with a plan.” She said as she hugged him. “I’m sorry Loki, for everything, but I will make this right.” She said as he hugged her. She pulled back looking at him, cupping his cheek his skin cold “you will hear from me, we will get you home.” She said wiping a tear from his cheek. He nodded and with that she left his chambers, determined to find a way.
Warnings:depression, sadness, mentions of illness, stress, anxiety, manipulation, Thor being a jerk.
Summary: loki arrives back in asgard as you try to carry on
Part 12-
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Asgard-
Arriving back on Asgard, Loki stormed out of the bifrost heading towards the palace. Making his way through the corridors towards his chambers. “Brother, we shall be meeting with the leader of Jotunhiem, asserting your claim to the throne, ready yourself to depart.” Thor said, Loki didn’t respond, only nodding before going inside. He closed the door looking around the room, he never thought he would be here again. He sat on the lais, thinking back to what had transpired…
“Brother, why are you really here?” Loki asked Thor as they went into the house. “I need your assistance with Jotunhiem, they are threatening war and I can’t have that.” Thor said walking around the living room. “Why not ask Odin, he’s the one that banished me, why would he want my return.” Loki said sitting at the table. “Father has fallen into the Odinsleep, he isn’t aware we are here.” Thor said sitting across from Loki. “And what does all this have to do with me? I was cast out, I’ve made a life here, with y/n.” Loki said looking at Frigga as she sat down. “Do you truly think she will want to be with you when she finds out what you’ve done?” Thor asked looking at Loki.
“She would, she’s kind and understanding.” Loki said looking between Thor and frigga. “Your a murderer Loki, will she forgive that?” Thor asked looking at loki. “That wasn’t my intention and you know it!” Loki yelled at Thor. “Enough brother! I have a deal I wish to discuss.” He said standing up. “You will return to Asgard, assume the throne of Jotunhiem preventing war, and barter and allegiance with Asgard.” Thor said looking at him. Loki scoffed “and if I don’t, if I choose to stay here with y/n?” He asked with a smirk. Thor loomed over Loki “either do you as I ask, or now with your memories restored you’ll spend the remainder of your days in the dungeons.” He said glaring at Loki “and as far as y/n, I’m not sure how the avengers would feel about her housing a war criminal.” Thor said pacing the room. “Thor….” frigga started “enough mother, I am king, he will do as I say, won’t you Loki?” He asked looking to Loki. “You wouldn’t do that to her!” Loki yelled standing In front of Thor. “I will do what is necessary for Asgard, you would do well to heed my warning, brother.” He said stepping closer. “What shall it be?” Thor asked. Loki looked to the porch seeing you sitting with your back to him “there will be no where she can hide from them, she will be imprisoned, assumed your accomplice.” Thor said.
Loki sighed, remembering how you took care of him, showed him kindness, love. No one had ever treated him that way, but he couldn’t let you spend your life imprisoned because of him. “I will do as you ask, but I will speak with her” Loki said heading towards the door. “Brother, it would be best if you end this, as you surely won’t return.” Thor said sitting down. Loki knew what he had to do and hated himself for it. He nodded and headed outside.
He put his head in his hands as he felt the tears well in his eyes. This wasn’t him, this isn’t what he wanted anymore, he wanted you. But he had to protect you, he couldn’t let you sit in a prison cell. The look on your face when he told you he didn’t love you would haunt him. He had told many lies in his long life, but that’s the one he’ll always regret.
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Earth-
You slowly opened your eyes looking around the room. You were hugging Adam’s…….well Loki’s pillow, you had hoped it had been a nightmare, but you weren’t that lucky. You walked to the living room, it was eerily silent. Everything felt empty without him here. You went to the kitchen, making your coffee before sitting at the table. You looked at the couch, thinking of your last night with him as your eyes teared up again. Did he think you wouldn’t understand? Did he think you wouldn’t accept him?
You wiped your face, sipping your coffee. You knew you had to take care of the animals but you couldn’t get your mind straight. The way he was so cold, distant, unfeeling. When he said he didn’t love you, you felt everything in you shatter. You’ve been left before, made to pick up the pieces and move on, but it’s never physically hurt. Just breathing felt like your chest would explode. You Inhaled a shaky breath taking a drink of your coffee, you stared at it for a minute before feeling your stomach gurgle. Putting your hand on yout stomach you felt a tightening as a wave of nausea hit you.
You to the bathroom as everything in you emptied from your stomach. You sat back leaning against the wall. You rubbed your stomach, thinking the stress was making you sick. You got up washing your face and brushing your teeth before heading back to the living room. You dumped your coffee down the drain before heading to get dressed, making your way to do your chores. You walked out seeing the burnt circle on your field and walked over, kneeling next to it. You ran your fingers through the burnt grass as you felt the tears stream down your cheek.
You wiped your face, heading to the stalls. You fed and took care of them before heading to the horses. Seeing daredevil made you instantly think of him. With his long black locks, stunning features and kind soul. You walked up rubbing his nose as he nudged your hand. “Im sorry boy, I don’t think he’s coming back.” You said shakely as daredevil shifted on his feet. You leaned forward wrapping my arms around his neck hugging him. He rested his head on your back, it almost felt like a hug.
You went back to the house seeing you were low on food, you made the decision to go to town. Maybe it would help get your mind off things. you walked through the grocery store in a daze, when your cart ran into another. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” You said looking up seeing Dr. Laing. “No problem, no harm done.” He smiled. “Hey, how’s mystery man doing?” He asked looking at you. “Oh, his family came and got him, so he’s gone.” You said looking down. “I see, well how are you?” He asked. “I’m ok, still just dealing with the farm.” You said looking up. “Are you feeling ok, you don’t look well.” He said. “Oh im fine, just a little stomach upset ” you smiled, but he didn’t look like he believed you. “Well if it continues come see me.” He said and you nodded. “Take care of yourself ok?” He said rubbing your arm “I will.” You said nodding.
You made it back to the house. Unloading your groceries trying to distract yourself from how empty the house felt. You made a sandwich before heading to the living room. You sat down putting on a movie. You were about halfway done when the nausea hit again, running to empty your stomach. “What is wrong with me?” You thought as you brushed your teeth and headed change. You grabbed Loki’s pillow and blanket and laid on the couch, hoping the movie would distract you long enough for sleep to find you.
Warnings: mentions of memory loss, mentions of past abuse,
Summary: life was perfect, until it wasn’t…..
Part 11-
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You woke up to your alarm. You groaned before reaching up shutting it off. You rolled over but found you were in bed alone. “Adam?” You asked into the darkness but got no answer. You got up putting on your pajamas heading to the kitchen, seeing Adam pouring coffee into your cup. You walked up behind him hugging him. “Morning love.” He said putting his hand on your arm. “I never want to wake up alone again, that was terrible.” You said hugging him tighter. “My apologies love, I just wanted to get your coffee” he said turning around to look at you. You wrapped your arms around his neck “cuddles are better then coffee” you said kissing him. “I’ll keep that in mind” he said kissing you back.
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Asgard-
Thor and frigga made their way to the bifrost. “Heimdall, I need you to locate Loki.” Thor said the the gatekeeper. “I have instructions not to allow him back into the realm your highness.” He said looking at Thor. “Odin is asleep, as I’m sure you know, and I hold the throne until he awakens. Now do as I ask.” Thor said walking closer. “I have seen the prince, I know where he is. But maybe it would be better to leave him as he is.” He said looking at frigga. “I only need know where he is, if you know, you will send us there at once.” Thor demanded. “My queen, you know what I speak of. Is he not happier now?” Heimdall asked looking at Frigga. “Send us there heimdall.” Thor said “yes my king.” He, opening the bifrost as Thor and frigga were pulled into it.
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You both got dressed heading to the animals, your fingers linked with Adam’s. You made it to the horses, seeing daredevil perk up seeing Adam. “I missed you too.” Adam said rubbing his head as he nuzzled his nose into him. “You take him for a ride, I’m going to go check the corn real quick, see if it’s ready.” You said hugging Adam. “If it is we’ll take care of it as soon as I’m done.” He said leaning down kissing you. “I love you Adam.” You said smiling at him. “I love you more.” He whispered against your lips kissing you again. You headed to the field as he took daredevil out.
You kneeled down checking the stocks, when a flash of light appeared in front of you, colors swirling around, it looked like a rainbow. You put your arm over your eyes backing up. When the light faded you saw two figures, a tall blonde man in what looked like armor and a red cape and a woman in a long blue dress. Startled you threw an ear of corn at him, watching it bounce off hitting the ground. You looked at eachother for a moment. “Lady, I am looking for my brother.” He said walking closer as you tripped landing in the ground. “Y/n!” You heard Adam yell in the distance. “Adam!” You yelled back, backing away from the massive man. “Son don’t frighten the poor girl.” The woman said walking up next to him. “My apologies lady, I only seek my brother.” He said looking at you.
You got up as Adam ran from behind you pulling you behind him. “Who are you, what do you want?’ He demanded of the man. "Brother!” The man said walking towards Adam. He backed you both up, holding onto your hand. “I have no idea who you are, you need to leave.” Adam demanded looking at man. “Oh, right. Mother” he said turning around to the woman. She slowly made her way to stand in front of Adam. “Loki, my son, all will be made clear soon.” She said looking at him. “Whose Lo…” he started when the woman put her hand on his forehead. “What are you doing, get away from him!’ You yelled rushing the woman as the larger man grabbed your arm. You saw Adam’s eyes glow white as she whispered something. "Leave him alone!’ You yelled again struggling against the man. His eyes closed as she released him, you pulled away from the man rushing to Adam’s side. "Are you ok? What did she do?” You asked looking him over. He kept his eyes closed holding his head. “Adam answer me please.” You said grabbing his arm.
He opened his eyes, his emeralds meeting yours “I am not Adam, I am Loki, of Asgard.” He said calmly. “What’s Asgard, please tell me what’s going on!’ You yelled starting to panic. "He is prince of Asgard and the rightful king of Jotunhiem.” The blonde man said coming up next to you. “What is Jotunhiem?” You asked looking at him. “It is an ice planet, where the frost giants live.” He said. Your mind was reeling, nothing was making sense. “Thor, what are you and mother doing here?” Loki asked backing away from you. “Let us go inside and we can discuss it.” Frigga said looking at Loki.
They turned to the house leaving you standing there. Asgard, Jotunhiem, frost giant, none of it made sense. As you slowly made your way to the house you felt the heaviness in your chest, this sinking feeling that was overwhelming you. You sat on the porch staring into the distance while they were in the house. You watched as the sun began to set, the anxiety running through you when you heard the door open, and Loki sat on the opposite side of the steps from you, putting as much distance as possible between you. Your heart sank.
“Lady y/n.” He started, you closed your eyes at the formality of the name, was your Adam gone? You put your head down listening “I just wanted to explain, if I can, my brother and mother, Thor and frigga, have come to take me home.” He said fidgeting with his hands. “My…..Odin……stripped me of my memories and sent me here as punishment for my crimes, my mother has restored them.” He said looking out to the field. You lifted your head looking at him “Ad…..Loki, do you remember everything since coming here? With me?” You asked nervously. He put his head down nodding.
“So do you……do you still love me?” You hesitated. He looked at you, you could see the affection in his eyes, until it changed, he seemed distant, cold “that’s not who I am lady y/n, that man you found, I’m not him.” He said looking at you. “Yes it is, your more him then anything else. That Is you in here.” You said pointing at your heart. “That man I found in the field, that is who you are, not king of wherever that was, or prince of whatever, just plain and simple you, the man I fell in love with.” You said, feeling the tears welling in your eyes. “Lady y/n” he started “Don’t call me that, please.” You said scooting closer. He sighed “you have no idea what I’ve done, why I was cast out.” He said looking down “and I don’t care! I fell in love with you, all of you, that doesn’t matter.” You said reaching for his hand but he pulled it away.
Your heart sank, you looked into his eyes “was what we had nothing?” You asked looking at him. “Y/n I have been offered a pardon, and the promise of the throne that is rightfully mine.” He said stiffening. “Then I’ll come with you.” You said “you cant, you would die.” He said plainly “humans cannot go to where I am from.” He said looking out. Reality was starting to set in, this was more important to him. “Aren’t you human?” You asked looking at him. He snapped his head to look at you “I am a God, I will outlive you. Your existence is finite to mine.” He said going to stand, but you grabbed his hand. “Please, please don’t do this I love you! Don’t you love me?” You asked looking into his eyes. “I have to return home, and you must stay here. We cannot be together, I’m sorry y/n.” He said getting up. You jumped to your feet “tell me, tell me you don’t love me and what we had meant nothing to you!” You demanded. He stopped and turned to look at you. His eyes softened for a second before the cold facade returned. He stood straight looking you In the eye “I do not.” He said. You felt your heart shatter as the tears rolled down your cheek “you don’t mean that, you love me I know you do, and I love you.” You said stepping closer. “Y/n, it was a fling, nothing more. And now I must take my place among my people.” He said.
“But lo….” you started “enough y/n! You need to accept that this is how things are.” He said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get my things, I must leave soon” he said going into the house. You sank to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest. He was leaving, you meant nothing to him. You put your head on your knees, unable to stop your sobs. You heard the door open and you looked up seeing loki in a green and black leather outfit, similar to the one you found him in. “I realized nothing in there is mine.” He said clearing his throat. You saw the man and woman come out of the house looking at you. “I got all of that for you, you can take it of you want.” You said sniffling, wiping a tear away. “That’s not necessary.” He said, straightening, fixing his outfit. “Come brother, we must go.” You heard the other man, Thor say. You looked up at loki as he looked at you “goodbye lady y/n.” He nodded and turned walking down the steps toward the field. The woman, frigga, knelt down next to you “I am sorry my dear, I know you love him.” She said. You looked at her, tears in your eyes “if you knew you wouldn’t have convinced him to leave.” You said burying your head in your knees. You felt her touch your head “I truly am sorry.” She whispered as you felt her get up.
You looked up as they stood in the field, you got up rushing down the steps towards them. You lunged at loki, wrapping your arms around his neck, you felt him stiffen as you hugged him. “I’ll always love you.” You whispered into his hair as you let go backing up. You saw his eyes begin to water, but before he could say anything they were engulfed in the rainbow light, and then they were gone, leaving you alone in the field. You went back to the house, making your way to Loki’s room, running your hand through his clothes in the closet, gently sitting on the bed, seeing his book on the night stand. You grabbed his pillow, hugging it you, it smelled like him. You laid down, letting the sadness wash over you. He left, he was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. As reality hit you you sobbed into his pillow, hoping the void of sleep would take you soon.
Warnings: swearing, teasing, sexual innuendos, nothing too bad to start
Summary: your an avenger, one of earth hero’s, confident in who you are and what you want, until a God started getting under your skin.
*avengers au, Loki and Thor make it back to earth after ragnarok, and are living in stark tower.
Part 1-
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You had joined the avengers a couple years ago, shortly after the attack on New York, being recruited by none other then black widow. You had been on your own for most of your life, being left with a foster family you took off, deciding the only person you could rely on was yourself. She had seen you one day when you a few guys decided it would be fun to harass you. She was coming over to help you when she saw you take down all three by yourself. She came over, saying you had potential and asked you to join. “Why not.” You had said looking at her.
You kept to yourself mostly, not really wanting to make friends, but slowly they started to grow on you. Everytime bucky and sam got In a fight you couldn’t help laugh, or everytime Steve irritated Tony, you couldn’t help watch the madness unfold on the occasion you made it down to the lab. That’s where you had met Matt, he was a lab tech that worked with Bruce and Tony. A year into you being at the tower he had asked you out. You had told him no a few times, not wanting to get that close with anyone but he was persistent. Always sending you flowers, complimenting you, trying to make small talk. you decided to give him a shot, he was nice, and pretty cute. Tall and on the thinner side, with short blonde hair that curled all over his head, glasses and a killer smile.
You had been seeing Matt for a couple of weeks when Thor came to the tower, explaining that Asgard had been destroyed and they had to come to earth. You were sitting on the couch in the common room with Matt when Thor had come in, a tall dark haired man following behind him. You knew who he was, everyone did. “Y/n, this is my brother Loki, he’s going to be staying with us in the tower.” Thor smiled at you. You looked up at him “Hello Thor….Loki.” You said nodding at Loki as he stood there with his arms crossed. “Anyone told you it’s not polite to stare?” You asked looking at Loki. His eyes squinting at you “no one that mattered.” He said glaring. “And who is this?” Thor asked breaking you from your staring contest “this is my boyfriend Matt, Matt this is Thor and his brother.” You said looking at Thor. “Hi, nice to meet you both.” Matt said standing holding his hand out to them shaking Thor’s hand, while Loki glared at it. You got up grabbing Matt’s arm “ignore him, he has issues.” You said pulling Matt away.
Loki stared at you as you left “Well brother, it seems you may have met your match.” Thor laughed slapping Loki’s shoulder. He hummed before Thor drug him off to meet the rest of the team. You had developed a hate, dislike relationship with the God. Wherever he was, snide remarks followed. You both always falling into insults and rude comments around eachother. You couldn’t even be paired on missions because you made everyone miserable. You would have tried to get along with him If he wasn’t so insufferable.
So here you stood, a year later, standing in the kitchen making tea as the ignorant jerk made his way in. “Y/n, why are you up so late? Your pathetic boyfriend not satisfying you?” He asked smirking at you “and that’s my cue to leave.” You said grabbing your tea starting to leave. “You know where to find me if you want a real man.” He said making you stop. You turned around looking at him, he was leaned against the counter, arms crossed with a smile on his face. You slowly walked over to him looking him up and down “does it even still work? With all the women you bring to the tower I’m surprised it hasn’t fallen off.” You said glaring at him. His smile dropped as he stood up walking towards you “I would watch how you speak to me.” He said squinting his eyes at you. “Whatever you say princess.” You said starting to go back to your room when a woman came out of Loki’s room.
“Lokiiii baby where are you?” She screeched, her voice piercing your ears. “There’s one of them now.” You said leaving going to your room. You sat your tea down and threw yourself on the bed. A part of you wished that you got along with him, that you could have been friends with him. If you were being honest with yourself, a part of you thought he was attractive, beautiful even. The way his hair curled at the ends making you want to twirl it around your finger, the way his green eyes seemed to glow, the way his muscles flexed when you caught glimpses during training. You may have had a little crush on him, but there was no way anyone was going to find out, ever.
Warnings: swearing, all the fluff, smut, fluffy smut- its smuffy, that’s a thing right? Lol
Sunmary: you had settled down with loki in yout new life, and couldn’t be happier.
Epilogue-
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5 years later-
You washed your hands as you finished dinner. Turning everything off you went to the porch “guys, time for dinner!!” You yelled to the field. Seeing Loki wave you went back inside. Setting the plates down on the table as they came in. “Hey, Adam, you know you need to wash your hands first.” You said looking at your son. “Yes mom.” He said running to the bathroom. You felt Loki come up behind you, wrapping his long arms around your waist. “When are we going to work on our second?” He whispered in your ear. “Loki stop, he’ll be back in a second.” You said turning and slapping his chest. “I can’t help what you do to me love.” He said leaning down kissing you. You pulled back looking at him “behave…sir.” whispering the last part as you felt his arms squeeze tighter. “All done!” Adam yelled coming back to the table. You pulled away from Loki winking as you sat and ate.
You were laying in bed reading as Loki came in, closing your door. “He’s finally asleep, he didn’t want me to stop reading to him.” He laughed grabbing his pajamas. “Well you do have a beautiful voice.” You said setting your book down, seeing a slight blush on his cheeks. He climbed in bed laying next to you “what were we talking about earlier, oh that’s right.” He said, leaning forward kissing you. You turned your head, deepening the kiss as his tongue ran across your lip. You opened your mouth, letting his tongue massage yours. His hand making its way to the hem of your shirt. You moaned in his mouth as he slid his hand up cupping your breast, running his thumb over your nipple. He broke the kiss, moving to your neck “I need you y/n, I need to feel you.” He whispered nibbling your ear. “Take me…..sir.” you whispered into his hair. You heard him growl as he moved on top of you, pulling your shirt off throwing it across the room.
He leaned down his tongue diving back into your mouth, you slid your hand into his hair as the other gripped his back, slowly moving to grip his cheek, pulling him into you. “Eager are we?” He laughed kissing down your neck towards your chest. “Loki please…..” you sighed as he circled your nipple with his tongue. “Tell me what you need y/n.” He said sucking it into his mouth. You moaned as you felt his other hand reaching your core, his fingers gently opening you up. “You…..I need you…..my king.” You sighed moving your hips with his hand. “Anything for you love.” He said getting up removing his pants, slowly pulling yours down. He climbed back up to you, spreading your knees, settling between them.
You both moaned as he slowly slid inside you. “Norns, you feel like heaven.” He said resting his head on yours. “So do you.” You sighed as he bottomed out, taking a minute to adjust. He leaned on his elbows kissing you deeply as he slowly started to move. You slid both hands down his back, he moaned into your mouth as you firmly grabbed his cheeks, pulling him into you. He rested his forehead on your as he pulled out and you pulled him back in. He adjusted his weight as his hand went to your hip, pulling it up towards him with every thrust. You felt him adjust his angle and start hitting that one spot in you that drove you over the top. Your breath mixed together as he titled his head kissing you again. You moaned he thrust particular hard, hitting that spot. “God Loki……I’m……” you tried but your brain couldn’t form words as you felt the coil in your stomach tighten. “Come y/n, come for your king.” He growled as he thrust harder. You looked into his eyes as you came, holding him tight to you. He followed right after, feeling him filling you up.
He stilled inside as you both panted, trying to catch your breath. You looked up at him smiled, his lips swollen, hair a mess, he was perfect. You reached up, brushing his hair away from his face as he smiled at you. “You are so beautiful y/n.” He said rubbing his thumb on your cheek. He went to move but you grabbed onto him “no, not yet please. I want to feel you.” You said looking at him. He settled back smiling at you. “May I ask you something love?” He asked looking at you. “Anything.” You said running your fingers up and down his arms. “Well, you know how I told you my lifespan is longer then….yours.” he said looking down. You nodded waiting. “Well, before I came back, my mother gave me something, that I want to give you.” He said looking at you. “What is it?” You asked. He held put his hand as a green light shown from it and a small box appeared. “I’ll never get tired of that.” You smiled making him laugh.
“I want to spend eternity with you love, always and forever.” He said handing it to you. You awkwardly opened the box, looking inside “you gave me an apple?” You asked looking confused. “It’s not just and Apple, it’s one of idunns apples.” He said taking it out of the box handing to you. “Whose idunn, and why does she have golden apples?” You asked looking at it. “That’s not the point, the point is, if you eat it, you’ll live as long as me.” He said cupping your cheek. “You gave me a magic apple? Good magic right, not like snow white where she..” you trailed off pretending to sleep. He laughed looking at you “Yes, Good magic. We can be together forever.” He said smiling at you. You turned it in your hand looking at it. “What about Adam?” You asked looking at him. “When he is old enough to decide, he will have the same choice.” He said looking at you. “I understand if you need to think it over, or don’t want to, it’s a big choice and..” you stopped his rambling by kissing him. Pulling back looking into his eyes, you took a bite. “It doesn’t taste very good.” You said swallowing. He laughed kissing you.
“Loki, I want nothing more then to spend eternity with you.” You said finishing the apple. “Do I need to eat the core too, I will.” You said laughing “no, that’s not necessary” he laughed throwing it to the floor. You cupped his cheeks in your hands staring into his eyes “I love you Loki, I always will.” You said smiling. “I love you more y/n, and I always will.” He said leaning down kissing you.
well, we reached the end. Thank you all ao much for reading, commenting, reblogging, all of that. You guys are amazing!!!! Love you all
Warnings: imprisonment, swearing, sadness, mentions of pregnancy.
Summary: Loki sits on his cell as the hopelessness consumes him, as you confirmed the sell of the farm.
Part 16-
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Asgard-
Loki wasn’t sure how long he had been there, sitting on the floor, back against the wall, waiting for whatever was to come. Would he be sent back to Jotunhiem, or sentenced to life in this cell. He thought back to you, how your smile warmed his heart, when you hugged him he felt complete, loved. This place wasn’t home, you were. He wondered how you were doing, if you were safe, did you miss him as much as he missed you. He felt the tears stream down his cheeks, remembering the mornings you were snuggled up next to him, the way you comforted him, your kindness.
He brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, laying his head on his arms. He never wanted any of this, he only wanted you. He heard a sound from outside his cell, lifting his head, he saw someone there. “What do you want?” He asked, venom lacing his tone. “I am only here to talk.” He said coming closer. “What Is there to discuss, I’m where I belong am i not?” He asked looking at the figure. “Enough Loki!” He bellowed coming into the light. “I have spoken to Frigga about your time on Midgard, she told me of your mortal.”
Loki clenched his teeth “you will not speak of her……Odin.” he said looking up. He saw the glow of the cell drop as Odin walked in. “I have heard that she makes you happy yes?” He asked looking at Loki, he just shook his head and looked down “what does it matter, I have lost her.” Loki sighed. “Loki, I sent you to Midgard to learn the error of your ways, I thought by living amongst them you may once again find your humanity.” Odin said pacing back and forth. “I had not intended for Thor to lose his way.” He said looking to Loki. “He has been confined to his chambers until I can decide punishment for what he has done.” Odin said.
“And what is to become of me? Am I to rot in this cell?” Loki asked looking to Odin. “I have come to offer you a choice, either you can return to Jotunhiem, take up the throne and continue your rule, or you may return to Midgard, to your mortal, without the threat of repercussion.” Odin said standing in front of Loki. He stared up at him in disbelief, was he really going to let him return to you. “The choice is yours my son.” Odin said holding his hand out. “I wish to return to Midgard.” Loki said, gabbing Odin’s hand pulling him up. “Very well, Frigga is waiting at your chambers.” He said turning around. “Thank you.” Loki said looking to Odin, seeing him turn and nod slightly before leaving.
Loki ran to his chambers, seeing Frigga there “I must go immediately” he rushed inside. Looking around at his belongings he turned to Frigga “I don’t need any of this, I just need her.” He said walking towards the door. “May I accompany you to the bifrost?” She asked looking at him. He nodded and then made their way out. “Hiemdall, open the bifrost to Midgard please.” Loki said rushing in. “Yes, King Loki.” He said turning the sword. He smiled at Heimdall “just Loki.” He said as heimdall nodded. “Thank you for everything mother.” He said hugging Frigga. “Here, take this.” She said handing him a small box “what is it?” He asked looking at it “you’ll know when the time comes.” She said cupping his cheek. He tucked it into his pocket dimension before stepping back towards the lights “I love you my son” she called to him. “I love you mother.” He said smiling as the lights engulfed him.
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Earth-
You had spent the last few days packing, hiring a few guys to help you move everything to storage. You hadn’t called Dr Laing yet, but were planning to tomorrow, knowing it was your best plan to leave. You walked through your empty room, all but your clothes remained. You had put boxes in the spare room, but hadn’t been able to go in and pack everything, you thought about leaving all of it here, not wanting to be reminded of him. You walked to the now empty living room, only the couch remained. You sighed looking around, it felt cold.
You walked into the kitchen to make tea, setting the kettle on the stove, absently running your hand up and down the small bump. “It’s ok little one, we’ll be ok.” You whispered rubbing your belly. You finished making your tea, making your way to the porch, watching the sun set. You felt the tears well in your eyes as you rubbed your stomach, knowing this may be the last sunset you get to watch from this porch. You sighed finishing your tea before heading back inside. You laid on the couch, rolling over facing the back, you willed the tears away, hoping sleep would find you.
You weren’t sure how long you slept before you heard someone calling your name. You slowly opened your eyes thinking maybe you were dreaming. You rolled over, looking through the room but didn’t see anyone. You sat up rubbing your eyes as you saw someone In the hallway. You froze, who was in your house? Why were they here? You slowly got up, making your way to the front door, hoping to make it out before they saw you. “Y/n” you heard, making you freeze in your spot. You knew that voice. You slowly turned around, flipping on the light, you saw him standing there, exactly as you remembered him, his green eyes wide. “What…..what are you doing here?” You asked shakily.
He walked closer but you backed away so he stopped “y/n, I’m…….I’m sorry.” He whispered looking down. “"Why are you here!’ You yelled, feeling the lump in your throat. He looked up at you "I’ve come to apologize, I never meant to hurt you, I can explain.” He said holding his hand out but you backed away. “What is there to explain, you said enough when you left.” You said looking down. “No, please allow me to explain.” He asked looking at you. You rubbed your belly as you looked at him. “Are you unwell?” He asked watching you. “I suppose we do need to talk.” You sighed heading to the kitchen. You put the kettle on, getting two cups out setting them down. “Y/n, what is wrong?” He asked following you in. “Nothing is wrong Ad……Loki.” You sighed.
You turned to look at him, hands on your belly “Loki, I’m pregnant.” You said looking at him. He went silent, staring at you. “How long?” He asked looking at your belly. “It’s yours if that’s what your asking, I found out after you left.” You said crossing your arms. He nodded, leaning on the counter. “Don’t worry, I don’t want anything from you, I just thought you should know. And I’m selling the farm.” You said as the kettle went off. “Why?” He asked looking at you. “I can’t be here anymore. I can’t be reminded of you everyday, its too much.” You said sliding his tea to him walking out. You sat on the couch as he followed “y/n please, I’ve come back, I want to be here, I love you.” He said looking at you. “That’s not what you said when you left.” You looked at him. “I was being threatened, I had to say that to protect you, I’ve thought of nothing but you since I left.” He said coming closer. “I want to believe you, I do, but I just.” You started and were cut off when he kneeled in front of you grabbing your hands.
“Y/n, I’ve never felt like this about anyone else, only you, always you.” He said, you saw tears forming in his eyes “Please, let me explain, I’ll tell you everything.” He said looking at you. You sighed looking down “ok, go ahead.” You said looking at him. You listened as he told you about his attack on New York, how he was made to, about being sent here as punishment, how the man who came to get him threatened him. Your mind was reeling as he recounted everything. “And there’s one more thing I must tell you.” He said looking at you. He scooted closer, his torso between your knees as he closed his eyes. You watched his skin turn blue, opening his eyes to see red instead of the green you knew.
“I am a frost giant, king actually, but I abdicated, gave it up, I don’t want it. I only want you my love.” He said cupping your cheek, his skin was cold, but didn’t hurt you. “So, Loki, prince of asgard, king of Jotunhiem, adopted asgardian, and frost giant.” You said looking at him as he nodded. “I told you so.” You said tears forming in your eyes. “Told me what?” He asked “that you were a prince.” You said smiling. He smiled lunging forward, wrapping you in a hug. “I’m sorry y/n, so sorry.” He said holding you. “Please, never leave me again.” You whispered burying your face into his neck. “Never, I will die first.” He said rocking you. You sat there holding eachother “I love you…..Loki” you sighed. He buried his face in your neck, holding the back of your head “I love you more.” He sighed.
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, depression, swearing, self esteem issues.
Summary: you and loki had only been together for a couple of years, but you knew you loved him with everything in you, so you decided to ask the question.
*Loki and reader established relationship, fluff to angst. Angst with happy ending. This is my first one shot, sorry if it’s terrible lol and as always, thanks for reading!!
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You remember when Loki joined the team, dragged along by his brother Thor. The first time you met him, it was love at first site, not so much for him. Thor brought him into the common room, introducing him to everyone, you couldn’t help but stare. His long raven locks sitting just below his shoulders, curling at the ends, you wanted to touch it. His emerald eyes that could read your soul, the way he carried himself with an heir of confidence. “Ah y/n, this is my brother Loki, Loki this is y/n.” Thor had said introducing you. You held your hand out and smiled, but he crossed his arms and glared. “Brother, must I dwell with these…….mortals?” He asked looking at you. As soon as he spoke you were done for, his voice like honey to your ears. He was like a drug you needed more of.
Slowly you had broken his walls down. It took time, but you were patient. Sending him smiles when you saw him, making tea for him when you made yours, you were determined to pry your way into his heart. A few months into him being there he had pulled you aside “y/n, I was wondering if……possibly if you wanted to…….maybe…” he fidgeted with his hands. His shyness making you smile. You walked over grabbing his hands looking at him, he sighed looking at you “y/n, could I court you?” He had asked and you couldn’t have been happier, jumping into his arms “yes!” You yelled, grabbing a few glances from your team mates as you smiled at eachother. You smiled at the memories as you walked through the shop, picking out the perfect gift. It was your anniversary, and had the perfect evening planned. You loved him entirely and only ever wanted to be with him, and It was time to show him.
You sat across from Loki at the resteraunt. Him wearing his all black suit you wanted nothing more then to rip off of him. You held hands across the table as you ate dinner, enjoying the evening. When dinner was finished you knew it was now or never. “Loki, there’s something I wanted to ask you.” You said looking at him. “Anything y/n.” He said smiling at you. “Well, we’ve been together two years now, and I’ve never been happier, I love you so much.” You said looking into his eyes “I love you too y/n.” He said squeezing your hand. You pulled the small box from your purse “Loki laufeyson, will you marry me?” You asked smiling, opening the box to reveal a silver ring with a green inner bad wrapping around it. You saw the smile fall from his face as he looked between you and the ring. He hadn’t said anything and you were getting nervous. “Loki, say something please” you said setting the box on the table. He pulled his hand back setting it on his lap, dread beginning to fill you. “Y/n, I don’t know what to say.” He said in a monotone voice, staring at the ring. “You could say yes.” You joked smiling at him. He looked at you, silent for a moment “y/n, I can’t.” He said plainly. “Why not?” You asked him. “I just……I can’t.” He said.
“Can’t or won’t?” You asked looking at him. His silence told you everything. You cleared your throat “I should go.” You said grabbing your purse. “Y/n wait….” he said reaching for you, you stopped and looked at him. “I do love you y/n, but I can’t….” he tried, going silent. “But you can’t marry me. I know I’m just a mortal, but I thought for once I would be enough.” You said, sniffling, refusing to cry in front of him. “Y/n ..” he started but you cut him off “it’s fine Loki, its my fault. i was stupid enough to believe i was worthy of you, but I never will be will i?.” You said getting up. “I won’t bother you again.” You said quickly leaving the resteraunt before your tears fell.
You made it back to the tower, thankful Loki hadn’t followed you. You grabbed a few boxes, packing up what you could from your shared room, wiping your tears as you went. You grabbed your clothes from your side of the closet, heading to one of the vacant rooms. You headed back running into Thor “Lady y/n, what’s the matter?” He asked. “Your brother that’s what.” You said storming past him. You threw the rest of your things in the boxes as you started to move everything before Loki got back. “But y/n, I thought you and my brother were happy.” He said following you. “Yeah, so did i.” You said moving around him. “Either help me or leave please, I need to hurry and get this done.” You said making sure you grabbed everything.
Thor walked in grabbing one of your boxes following you to the other room. You made one more trip, making sure you had everything before shutting the door grabbing a bottle of wine and heading to your new room. “I am sorry about whatever happened between you and Loki, I will speak with him.” Thor said starting to leave. “Don’t bother, I’m not worth the trouble.” You sighed sitting at the end of the bed. “Lady y/n, i…” he started before you cut him off “please Thor, just leave.” You sighed hanging your head. As you heard the door click shut, you let the tears fall.
Loki had made it back to the tower, hoping to talk to you about what happened, but when he got to your room, he saw your things gone. He ran to the closet seeing your clothes gone. “Y/n!” He called out, checking the bathroom but you weren’t there. He ran and checked the common area, the library, the kitchen, but couldn’t find you. He ran to Thor’s room hoping he had seen you coming back “brother, have you seen y/n, I can’t find her.” He asked Thor. “Yes I’ve seen her, what did you do?” He asked crossing his arms. Loki sighed “she asked me to marry her and I said no.” He said looking down. “Why would you say no. I thought you were happy.” Thor asked. “I am! I love her, truly. But she doesn’t know what I am, how could she ever love a monster.” Loki said fidgeting with his hands. “You didn’t even give her a chance Loki, she would have understood. You should have trusted her.” Thor said shaking his head. “The only one who thinks your a monster is you, and until you can accept yourself, you’ll always be afraid.” Thor said. “Give her some space, she was rather upset when I saw her.” He said. “May I come in?” Loki asked. Thor nodded, moving aside to let Loki in.
It had been a week and no one had seen you. They tried knocking on your door but you kept it locked, not answering. only sneaking out when you knew everyone was asleep or gone to get more wine or whatever alcohol Tony had lying around. Trash littered your room, clothes all over the floor. You didn’t have the energy to pick them up. You stumbled out of your room, completely trashed, looking for Tony’s stash of alcohol to numb the pain. The tower was eerily silent, maybe everyone was gone. You found a half a bottle of scotch, taking a swig you decided it would be a good idea to go to the roof and look at the stars. You dragged yourself to the elevator, knocking into the wall a few times before making it. You got to the roof, realizing you were in your sleep shorts and tank top as the cold air hit you. You shrugged, taking another drink stumbling out.
You made it to the edge, standing on your toes looking over the wall down to the street. “Y/n!” You heard someone yell your name. You looked up trying to find the source of the voice. “Get away from there!” You heard it again, along with what sounded like someone running. “Whose there?” You slurred unable to focus as a hand gripped your wrist. You tried pulling away but you couldn’t get loose. “Let go of me!” You yelled at the voice. “What are you doing y/n?” You heard. You sighed “looking at the pretty stars, they twinkle like my Loki’s eyes.” You said tearing up. You put your head down “you see, i love him, but he doesn’t love me.” You said sniffling. “I’m sure that’s not true.” The voice said “yes it is! I was stupid, asked him to marry me, of course he said no, why wouldn’t he.” You said wiping your face. “Y/n, let’s get you to bed.” The voice said. “I don’t want to sleep, I’ll dream about him.” You said trying to sit down but were lifted up. “Shh it’s ok y/n, I’ve got you.” The voice said. “Your soft.” You hummed as your eyes drifted closed.
You slowly opened your eyes as the sun hit your face, making your head pound. You turned your head to see Loki sitting in a chair next to the bed, his eyes on you. “Go away Loki.” You huffed, moving to get out of bed. “Y/n, wait, please.” He said moving to in front of you. “I have nothing to say to you” you said trying to get up “well I have something to say to you.” He said placing his hands on your shoulders. “What is is?” You sighed holding your head. He handed you a cup of coffee and some pain meds before sitting back down. “Y/n, I would like to explain myself about why I told you no.” He said looking at you. “I don’t want to hear it.” You said shaking your head, starting to get up. “Well I want you to.” He said firmly. You looked at him and sat back down.
“The reason I said no, wasn’t because I don’t love you, I do, it’s because of my parentage, what I am.” He sighed looking down. “Asgardian, I already know that” you said looking at him. “No, I’m not asgardian.” He said looking at you. “What are you talking about Loki?” You asked getting frustrated. He sighed closing his eyes. You watched as his skin turned blue, ridges forming on his skin. He slowly opened his eyes, seeing his emerald eyes turning dark red. You sat there, unsure what to say. “I am a frost giant y/n, a monster, and I was afraid you would be frightened of me, that is why I said no” he said looking down. You scooted closer, looking at him. He looked the same but…..different. “Look at me please.” You said. His eyes meeting yours, you gazed into them. “Loki, regardless of what you are, you are still you, you always will be, I don’t care if you were a troll, I’d still love you.” You sighed. “I’m sorry y/n, I should have trusted you, I should have told you” he said shaking his head. “It’s ok Loki, I understand.” You said looking at him.
He leaned down, kneeling in front of you grabbing your hands “y/n, I love you with everything in me, I never want to lose you, I would be honored to be your husband.” He said pulling a box out of his pocket, be opened it revealing a silver banded ring, with an emerald in the middle, diamonds surrounding it. “If you still want me.” He said holding the ring out to you. You felt the tears in your eyes as you looked at him “I will always want you Loki.” You said lunging at him, hugging him. “Is that a yes?” He asked hugging you back. You laughed pulling back “Yes, Yes it is.” You smiled kissing him. He held your hand putting the ring on your finger, noticing him wearing the one you got him. You grabbed his hand “have you been wearing it?” You asked looking at him. “Since that night, yes.” He said holding your hand. You smiled at eachother, pulling him into another hug “I love you Loki.” You said sighing. “I love you too y/n.” He said.
Summary: things get a tad awkward with Loki but you actively avoid it as things go south with Matt
Part 5-
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You felt his lips on your neck as his hands roamed, cupping your beasts as he kissed you passionately. “I need you y/n.” He whispered as his lips traveled down your neck to your chest. You arched your back as you felt your knees being spread apart. “So needy love. I’ll give you what you want.” You heard him whisper as he lowered his head between your thighs.
