They don’t understand that nowadays a lot of gay people feel forced to use “same-sex attraction” because of how the modern trans movement has redefined “gay” to include attraction to the opposite sex. TRAs are the ones promoting conversion therapy rhetoric. Not radfems.
“assimilation” being presented as a bad thing when all it means in this instance is to be treated like a normal person and allowed to live their lives w respect and dignity lol. ya some of us don’t want constantly antagonize everyone we come into contact with or politicize our existence. some ppl literally just want to chill
Gay People: We just want to be seen as normal and be treated with the same respect/receive the same rights that straight people are naturally given.
Honey Nut Queerios: Omg why would you want to be normal?? Being QuEeR is all about being weird and quirky and deviant! Now shut up while we redefine your sexuality to include the opposite sex lol
a lot of people (coughs in tiktok) have been saying lately that microlabels are harmful. what i have to say about that, as someone who’s been in and out of a lot of queer spaces in their life, is that if you use a microlabel, and you feel it’s helpful to your understanding of your identity, absolutely continue to use it. labels are tools that help us navigate the spaces we live in. if you love your label, keep using it! be proud of it! you are valid, it is no one’s business but yours, and you are more important than any queer discourse.
Why the fuck would you even date someone if you know you’re asexual.
Because some aces want relationships?
Let me be clearer.
What would someone who feels no sexual or romantic attraction want in a relationship that is built on sexual and romantic attraction?
Depends, queerplatonic relationships are a thing. Some people still want the closeness of a romantic relationship and most people don’t offer that to their friends.
But most people with no sexual or romantic attraction don’t date, or if they do it’s when they are still figuring out that they are aroace.
Well first of all “queerplatonic relationship” is just a close friendship.
And I’m not talking about someone who is questioning whether they are ace or not, I’m talking about someone who knows that they are asexual. If you want to be in a romantic/sexual relationship with someone, then you’re not asexual.
Wouldn’t you feel bad on some level to be in a relationship with someone who by the nature of the relationship they do or in the future would expect romantic/sexual activities and continue to date them knowing that you’re not interested in that at all? What would you gain by being in that kind of relationship if you claim to have no sexual/romantic desires?
First of all, no. A queerplatonic relationship isn’t just a close friendship. A queerplatonic relationship is one that blurs the line between romantic and platonic, largely defined by the people involved.
The real answer to your question is: because people are complex and their reasoning behind doing what they do is equally so.
The only time a person would be in the wrong in this situation that you’ve described is if they did not communicate that they had no interest in those things to their partner. If both people agree to it and understand the boundaries of the relationship, why do you care?
“Blurs the lines of platonic and romantic.” Oh you mean like how I’ve shared beds with friends, or kissed them, or cuddled with them or whatever? That’s just having a close friend. You don’t have to make a new label to justify your close bond with someone and you don’t have to pretend as if friendship is something that doesn’t involve things that might potentially be construed as romantic. A lot of peoples friendships develop into romantic and with them ending up in a relationship because of this. Also making the term out of a slur and implying that close friendships are somehow related to LGBT things inherently is just… really gross.
People can be complex, and I haven’t argued otherwise. My point is that if you don’t feel attracted to someone then why would you enter into a relationship with them where they would expect romantic and sexual attention and reciprocation? Why would you lead someone on that way if you know that you simply do not experience those types of feelings?
Would that not be potentially toxic and harmful for both parties to enter into a relationship where they either cannot fulfill or would not be fulfilled for the needs of the relationship?
I’m simply questioning why someone who claims to not experience attraction in that way would accept or engage in a relationship where those behaviors and activities are expected.
People in queerplatonic relationships can (and do) get married, have sex, or have kids together as well. The label “queerplatonic” doesn’t exist to justify anything. It’s just a label. I’m also very aware that friendships can include things that are stereotypically romantic.
Queer is an identity, a descriptor, and a slur. To insist that it only be treated like a slur harms those who identify as such, and is a denial of its popular use in a non-derogatory way.
In this instance queer is used to define the nature of the relationship as being “outside the norm” or “odd to the vast majority of people”. Queerplatonic relationships aren’t an LGBTQ+ thing even though you are more likely to see LGBTQ+ individuals in them.
I also think you aren’t actually comprehending my response to you since you feel the need to repeat questions I’ve already answered.
People are complicated.
You keep bringing up scenarios, but the answer is the same.
They are probably getting something out of the relationship that isn’t sexual or romantic that makes the relationship worth it.
You don’t need to understand the details to understand this.
Oh boy.
> People in queerplatonic relationships can (and do) get married, have sex, or have kids together as well. The label “queerplatonic” doesn’t exist to justify anything. It’s just a label.
Then their relationship isn’t platonic, even if there are some platonic elements. A couple who gets married, has sex and has kids together is no longer platonic. That is a sexual and romantic relationship.
There is reason to question the validity of this label and asexuals who seek out and engage in sexual relationships as much as there is to question a man who claims to be gay but actively seeks out only women as sexual and romantic partners. There is complicated, and there is contradictory.
>I’m also very aware that friendships can include things that are stereotypically romantic.
And yet you defend the use of a label that demeans it and insist that relationships that can easily include completely cishet or platonic same gender relationships as being LGBT. This is incredibly regressive.
> Queer is an identity, a descriptor, and a slur. To insist that it only be treated like a slur harms those who identify as such, and is a denial of its popular use in a non-derogatory way.
It sure is one of those things. Just because someone identifies as something doesn’t make it an valid or useful label. Treating a word as the slur it is actively used as isn’t “harmful” it is acknowledging the usage. It’s “popular use in a non-derogatory way” doesn’t erase the arguably more widespread use of it as a pejorative or its history in the places you would likely claim are non-derogatory.
> In this instance queer is used to define the nature of the relationship as being “outside the norm” or “odd to the vast majority of people”. Queerplatonic relationships aren’t an LGBTQ+ thing even though you are more likely to see LGBTQ+ individuals in them.
Ah yes, the old “LGBT people are freaks, actually” argument. The whole point of LGBT activism was and is to be treated as an accepted as normal in society. To continue to push that friendships expressed by LGBT people are “more likely” to be strange or unconventional is regressive and goes against historic and current LGBT activism.
If its not LGBT exclusive, then why tie the label to an inherently LGBT slur? Why connect it to LGBT people by using the most common LGBT slur in its name?
> I also think you aren’t actually comprehending my response to you since you feel the need to repeat questions I’ve already answered.
It’s not my fault if your logic and thinking are contradictory or flawed. I have read and further questioned your responses.
> People are complicated. You keep bringing up scenarios, but the answer is the same.
“People are complicated.” Is not a sufficient excuse for contradictory statements like this. I’m bringing up reasonable scenarios as elaborations on my original question.
> They are probably getting something out of the relationship that isn’t sexual or romantic that makes the relationship worth it.
If they are getting something out of the relationship that is not romantically or sexually based in a romantic or sexual relationship that is not romantic or sexual, then why isn’t the relationship simply friendship or platonic.
Again, if you are getting some kind of gratification out of sex with someone or being romantically intimate, then you are experiencing sexual and romantic attraction, respectively.
>You don’t need to understand the details to understand this.
I’m not getting hung up on details here, I am trying to address an inherent contradiction in someone who claims to not enjoy something in a relationship seeking out and engaging in relationships where those things are going to happen. It’s like if someone went out of their way to order food from a restaurant every week even though they actually think the food is bland and awful and they service is subpar but they continue to order it anyways instead of doing literally anything else.
If you use “queer” as a term for the community, kindly remember it is still an active slur for many of us. By normalizing this word, you are not helping those of us that still endure it. In fact, you make it much, much more worse.
I know homophobes, and they are excited they now get to call us dirty little freaks to our faces. You have allied yourself with people who hate us, but you are turning a blind eye to this. You need to remember, no one will know if you’re LGBT or not if you use this term, which allows for anyone to say this term. Homophobes know this. They know they can now openly call us freaks, as this word still means for many of us and others.
By calling the community the “queer community”:
You are choosing to call yourself a freak.
You are choosing to let others call us freaks.
You are choosing to call others freaks.
I do not accept nor consent to being called a slur. Stop forcing this as a community label. The words you say and call yourself have meaning, please understand this. I am tired of people in my community and homophobes trying to force me to accept this slur. In my eyes, as someone who endures this as a slur, you are one and the same.
Please don’t go onto my own posts and tell me to fuck off only to immediately block me. That’s very immature of you and, frankly, paints you as a coward.
This post has shed some very unfortunate reality on the usage of “queer” as an identity. Here is what you all have told me:
It means nothing. OR. It can mean any term already actively used in the community.
“Queer” is both a separate community or it is the new name for the LGBT community. None of you all can seem to agree on this one.
None of you all, however, seem to grasp that this is still an active slur. Not everyone wants to be addressed as the slur they’re actively called. It’s offensive and inconsiderate to try to place this onto many of us. We’re often accused of “lying” or siding with homophobes because none of you all can grasp this was and is still a slur used on us.
I, and many others, are not comfortable with being forced to accept an active slur. It holds a lot of trauma and discomfort for us. Please try to understand the words you say can and will hold meaning.
I will never understand why queers get so mindboggling feral over being reminded their identity makes many others uncomfortable because it is an active slur for the community. You all were the ones who chose this identity. We did not force you to call yourself a slur.
This one is so pretty! The pink and light blue look so cute and helps break the flag up a bit more. Plus they were removed for stupid reasons.
The racism and transphobia really jumped out…
Yeah, yikes
Imo the one w/ the pink one is so much uglier
1: Don’t call me racist or transphobic because I understand how colour theory works.
2: I am literally trans
3: The original flag didn’t exclude people of colour, it treated them the same as everyone else. I don’t understand why you would need an extra stripe or two to “appreciate POC more”. Also, right before he died, the creator of the flag (Gilbert Baker) added a lavender stripe to represent diversity.
4: The black bar already had meaning. It represented those who were lost to AIDS. The people who added the brown stripe completely appropriated the meaning of the black one and painted over its meaning and history, which is honestly pretty disgusting in my opinion.
Stop calling people who disagree with you racist and transphobic because they know the history of the flag more than you do and realise that the brown stripe is ugly as fuck.
i love the original flag so much, always have :( its so pleasing
“the pink stripe is ugly” just say graphic design is your passion and go. also gilbert baker wasn’t consulted on the bullshit design, and they released it like a MONTH after his death. that’s fishy as fuck.
if you support the philly pride flag, you lose the ability to complain about capitalism and corporations pandering to LGBT people.
The city paid an ad agency to make up an ‘inclusive’ LGBT flag to cover up for the fact that the city was racist as fuck and wanted to shift the buck to the LGBT community instead.
Also the creator of the philly flag stated clearly that the goal of adding the trans/intersex/etc flags in the design was to SHIT THE FOCUS AWAY FROM HOMOSEXUALITY.
It’s literally a homophobic pride flag and I think the design is pretty well made in this regard. Because it’s fucking obvious.
idk im really tired of 15-17 year olds who have never interacted with the gay community irl and spend too much time on tiktok trying to act like the authority on all that is lgbt+
mean this in the kindest possible way. if you are too young and unsafe to go to your gay community center or pride here’s some ways you can connect to gay history.
Hey #OFMD fans? Just a little reminder of what your blorbo Stede Bonnet got up to when he wasn’t pirating. That’s right, being a FUCKING SLAVE OWNER and a militia member who hunted escaped slaves. He was likely a rapist, or encouraged the rape of barely pubescent Black girls. They would be beaten, whipped, and otherwise tortured into compliance. They would spend the rest of their lives pregnant while undergoing extreme violence EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY.
When he left to become a pirate he made sure the plantation stayed in the hands of his wife and sons in case he wanted to go back.
The show creator knew what he was and didn’t give a shit. I hope the show gets cancelled and all digital media of it pulled from the Internet for all fucking time. I hope it gives you nightmares.
If someone could transcribe these excerpts from bell hook’s Ain’t I A Woman I’d appreciate it, I’m too tired and physically exhausted to do it myself.
Reminder that Stede Bonnet was a whole ass plantation owner with an estimated 94 slaves who participated in hunting down (and no doubt torturing or killing) escaped slaves. And that was BEFORE the piracy. The writer knew this and instead of creating a fictional character, he just ignored it and turned him into a romantic love interest.
And once again white queers are happily dismissing this fact because the show gives them “representation” as if it isn’t just a bunch of straights playing gay for fun and Profit.
i’d rather have rainbow capitalism then living in constant fear of discovery. the woman in the pride flag disney t-shirt might be missing the nuance, but at least i know i can be myself. a street full of rainbow flags makes me more comfortable holding a mans hand. look. corporations aren’t your friend. they will sell to whoever will buy. but kids seeing gay everything every year is only ever a good thing, and a massive improvement in history
rainbow capitalism isn’t liberatory, especially not when we exist in a society that withdraws its support for queerness as soon as it transgresses respectability and commodified the rest of it. just yesterday the marines posted a picture of a helmet with rainbow bullets strapped to the back, and it comes off, to me, as entirely grim to say, “well, at least i feel safer” when the biggest imperialist project in the world continually reinforces homophobia and transphobia abroad and at home.
i hate this weird sense of internalized queerphobia of like. being visibly and really loudly queer is somehow immature and childish and one day you’ll grow up and fall into cishet line and stop
i think discourse over the word q*eer would be solved if more people jsut went:
“that word, alongside many other words, are often used to demonize lgbt people and the language that demonizes us is always going to add new terms. there’s nothing wrong with reclaiming said word to describe one’s experiences, but you shouldn’t use it for those who have asked to not be referred to with that term. also, sometimes you will need to tag that word because there are some triggered by it for personal reasons, and that is okay.”
I was raised by a generally accepting family, but that never dispelled my fears of not being accepted. The elementary school I went to, on the other hand, was not. Though I didn’t go to a Catholic school, I was in a school where most “differences” were looked down upon. From a young age, I always knew that there was something different about me. However, I was taught that there was nothing besides cis and heterosexuality. Hell, I didn’t even know anything else even existed. So, I brushed it off and tried to fit in as best as I could.
I wasn’t exposed to the lgbtq community until 6th grade, when I became friends with several queer people. In doing so, I began to feel a sense of belonging. However, I didn’t acknowledge the fact that I was like them. So, I continued to brush it off and instead became the “straight friend”.
In late 7th grade, I learned about a newer sexuality: pansexuality. Everything about it felt right. I had been internally identifying as bisexual, but that didn’t feel right to me. I didn’t come out until halfway through 8th grade, though. Even then, it was only to one close, queer friend, who immediately responded with “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!”
One of the biggest challenges was coming out to my main group of friends at the time, mostly because two of them were known homophobes. Instead of being confronted, I dropped hints here and there, and didn’t officially come out until the beginning of my freshman year. Coincidentally, I began my separation from that group, moving to a group that consists entirely of queers (and one hetero). I felt that it was now or never, and decided to come out officially. I was immediately met with “But how do you know you’re pansexual if you’ve never had a crush on a girl?” to which I’d reply with “How do you know you’re straight if you’ve never had a crush on a guy?”
My new group of friends was very accepting, of course. However, there was still one thing that I had been searching for since 8th grade: a gender identity that fit. For a while, I was out as bigender, but it didn’t feel right. So, I began the search for one that fit me. Finally, after months of searching, I discovered agender. Like when I discovered my sexuality, it just felt right. When I identified as bigender, I opted to find a more gender neutral name, settling with Cas. When I began identifying as agender, I kept it, feeling that it suits me.
While my group of friends supported me, I met a wonderful guy who, while he was new to the scene, was willing to learn, and accepted me for who I am. And he’s still getting the hang of things, but it adds to how much I love him. (Corny I know)
During this, I, along with my group of friends (lovingly referred to as “the gays”), joined my school’s lgbtq club. In doing so, I became friends with more queer people, and in turn, am learning more myself.
The hardest part, however, was coming out to my family. My parents and uncle were born during the AIDS scare in the 80s, and my grandmother was a baby boomer, so I was a bit frightened, to say the least. When I finally did come out, my uncle and mother immediately responded, telling me that they loved me no matter what and “as long as you keep your grades up and don’t sleep around, you’re fine”. However, I still haven’t gotten a response from my grandmother. Hopefully, it’ll be good.
Send me your queer stories! This is just one story in a much bigger project where I collect lgbtqia+ peoples stories to spread the word and awareness on the many different queer identities. Check my blog for more information!
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Alison; I’m a 15 year old cisgender female. I live in Yorkshire, England, and I’ve found a label to suit me. That is a Bisexual Aromantic.
I’d like to say that I’m comfortable accepting myself with these labels. Yes, they fit, but I don’t want them to.
Aromanticism is a big part of my life; I’ve only recently made the discovery that it genuinely exists.
When I was younger (and I mean 8 or 9 ish) I’d think that there was something wrong with me. I’d imagine that if I would only develop romantic feelings for a person then I’d know I’m okay. I would think that maybe I’m waiting for that “one special person” and then I would fall in love and so on.
I didn’t know this was happening until I was about 11 years old. I knew then that this wouldn’t happen. So, I jumped to the conclusion that there was something wrong. That it would be a mental illness or something. It was hard to accept that this was the only way for me and my future. This lead to self harm and self esteem issues that I’m slowly taming but are still apparent. I’ve been having issues with self harm for 4 years now. I know that it’s probably selfish of me and there are real problems in the world, but it hit close to home. All I’ve been fed my entire life, along with most people, is that even if things are bad right now, you’ll meet that one special person and everything will be okay.
I discovered the existence of aromanticism from tumblr, actually. There was an awareness post that had sneaked its way between the crevices of crap and hordes of fandoms. It boasted its diversity for including other terms. I read into the topic of being aromantic more and realised that, while feeling sexual attraction is a thing for me, romantic wasn’t. It was such an amazing experience, discovering that not only people can feel the same as I do, that there is a term for what I am feeling. It was elating to know that, I’m still valid, despite not feeling romantically attracted to anyone. All I’ve seen is the importance of romantic love and the effects it can have on your life, but never an appreciation of how much platonic love or friendships actually help you grow and /be/ as a person.
As for the bisexuality, that wasn’t as hard. It’s almost laughable how easy it was for me to accept this about myself. I have a group of very supportive friends who accept me for me.
I’m not out to my parents, because I don’t feel I should be. It’s an aspect about me that has always been there, along with aromanticism, so I shouldn’t have to justify my emotions. My dad is vaguely homophobic but, to be honest, he can cram it up his ass.
I’ve come to terms with who I am. Some might say that I’m too young but oh well. If I know who I am, then it shouldn’t matter to anyone else.
Thanks for listening (reading?)to my rant and I hope this can help anyone else going through what I am.
Send me your queer stories! This is just one story in a much bigger project where I collect lgbtqia+ peoples stories to spread the word and awareness on the many different queer identities. Check my blog for more information!
christ i’m actually seeing people insist that dyke is not a slur now as if that’s a necessary justification for wlw to be able to say it? why are people so fucking terrified of what reclamation actually means? the point isn’t to make a weapon used against you so meaningless that target feels safe to sell it back to you on a shirt, it is transgressive and shocking to say “so what if i am that? i am the words that have been the last thing people have fucking heard before being bashed”. don’t insert yourself into a words history and then deny its weaponization, WIELD IT against your oppressors!!
people who get super fucking mad about queer or dyke being acknowledged as slurs because god forbid their identity be acknowledged as transgressive or shocking to cishet sensibilities, or their history be connected to those who have had those words spat with greater venom, are seeking assimilation. if you want the words you describe yourself with to be so enfolded into capitalism that cops feel safe calling themselves queer then what are you actually fighting for?
[Image Description: The inside and outside of a pamphlet with a pink and purple color scheme entitled “The ‘Queer’ Question” laid out side-by-side. There is a summary, disclaimer, and helpful resources on the first half and sections titled “What is Queer,” “History of the Word,” and “Using it Respectfully” on the second. The text is small and blurry as it is only meant as a preview image to the resource described in this post]
The “Queer” Question - Pamphlet #8
In this pamphlet, you’ll find examples of what “queer” means, a brief rundown of the term’s history, and a suggestion on how to use it respectfully. As can be seen, the word is not censored and only the post is tagged as “q-slur” to hopefully avoid triggering individuals who have the word blocked on Tumblr.
This is probably the most subjective item on Queer Condensed and should be treated as such.
As always, this resource is free to use for noncommerical ventures as long as credit is given. The original Publisher files can be requested for modification through the ask box. If you download, a reblog or link to this post would be appreciated!
Also, links to Tumblr posts that talk about queer identity and the history of the term:
The text can be read below the readmore, formatted in the intended reading order.
Front Panel
The “Queer” Question, a Condensed Guide
Produced by Queer Condensed, queercondensed.tumblr.com
Version 1.0
Inside Flap
Summary
The word “queer” has a lot of debates surrounding it. What does it mean? Who can use it? When and where can it be said? When there’s this many questions, sometimes people forget to slow down and explain the controversy and the history of the word. This pamphlet is an introduction to some of the arguments surrounding this controversial word, a brief historical overview, and a suggestion for rules of its use.
This topic, more than most, is incredibly subjective and should be taken as such. The ideas expressed are the opinions of Queer Condensed, not the opinions of all queer people.
Disclaimer
Queer Condensed is meant to be a guide, but in no way is anything in our materials definitive. Queerness and our community is far too subjective and we just don’t have the space. Take what you read as an introduction and maybe check out the provided resources or ask people open to taking questions if you want to know more.
Published on July 27th, 2017
Leftmost Interior: What is Queer?
In LGBTQ+ circles and communities, the proper use of the word “queer” often comes up. There are hundreds of opinion pieces and personal anecdotes on the Internet, all with different takes. But what does the word mean? Why are people so up in arms about it? Well, there’s no simple answer here.
One of the problems in defining “queer” is the fact that it means so many different things to different people. Queer can be:
· A noun, verb, or adjective
· A slur, or offensive word, used against LGBTQ+ people
· An identity, with it’s own different definitions
· An umbrella term that replaces LGBTQ+
· Radical activism relating to LGBTQ+ people and issues
· The act of subverting any societal norm, especially with gender and sexuality
· A term of empowerment and pride
From this non-exhaustive list, it’s clear that discussions of when, where, and how “queer” should be used can be very difficult and there is no consensus regarding it.
To simplify things, this pamphlet focuses on queer as a slur vs an identity or umbrella term for the LGBTQ+ community. This, obviously, doesn’t cover all interpretations of the term and all voices on the matter, but it does help us understand the argument that is most often seen in the LGBTQ+ community surrounding the word.
Middle Interior: History of the Word
“Queer” existed before being connected to the LGBTQ+ community and originally just meant strange or peculiar. The first known use of the word as an insult was 1894 towards the famously gay Oscar Wilde, and later it became a widespread insult towards anyone perceived to be gay, even if they weren’t.
The reclaiming of queer has a long history too. Accounts say that individuals started “taking back” the word and using it for themselves in the 1980’s. An early adopter of the word was the organization Queer Nation in early 1990.
The topics that queer theory and studies concerns itself have been around for much longer than the name. The term “queer theory” was coined in the 1990s as well and was adopted by many theorists. Many universities use this term, though others use “LGBT” or “gender and sexuality” as substitutes due to the sensitive nature of the word in certain regions.
Reclaiming isn’t universal, though. Plenty of people still have “queer” used as a slur against them and dislike its use to refer to them.
Why Do We Use It?
The project is called Queer Condensed because A) it’s catchy and B) it’s been reclaimed heavily in the area the creators are from. Most people use queer as an empowering term. Additionally, it’s a useful umbrella term and feels more broad than saying ‘the LGBTQ+ community.
Rightmost Interior: Using it Respectfully
The use of “queer” is as complex as its definitions. Some use the term broadly and insist that those who disagree aren’t proper parts of the community. Others say that any use of it is hateful. Queer Condensed hopes to show a middle ground.
If someone uses queer as an identity, it’s no one’s right to refuse to use it. Queer identity has a long history and it’s endlessly useful. Personal discomfort with the word never outweighs respecting others’ identities.
Using it as a broad term is trickier. In general, it’s best to learn about your local community’s feelings and definitions. Some areas have a lot of people using the word, others have a majority that feel hurt by it. Respectfully asking never hurts. Something to keep in mind is that even in places where the word is reclaimed, it’s usually not something for non-LGBTQ+ people to say because the word is rooted in LGBTQ+ oppression and violence.
Finally, always keep the feelings of others in mind when using the word outside of an identity. There are often people uncomfortable with the term even when many others have reclaimed it. Respect people who ask you to not use it on them and censor it as “q-slur” if asked. It’s impossible to know everyone’s experience, so communication is always key.
In case you want to see the words of people IDing as queer and talking about the term’s history, check out the post for this guide! Links there will take you to Tumblr posts that discuss the subject
[Image Description: The inside and outside of a pamphlet with a pink and purple color scheme entitled “The ‘Queer’ Question” laid out side-by-side. There is a summary, disclaimer, and helpful resources on the first half and sections titled “What is Queer,” “History of the Word,” and “Using it Respectfully” on the second. The text is small and blurry as it is only meant as a preview image to the resource described in this post]
The “Queer” Question - Pamphlet #8
In this pamphlet, you’ll find examples of what “queer” means, a brief rundown of the term’s history, and a suggestion on how to use it respectfully. As can be seen, the word is not censored and only the post is tagged as “q-slur” to hopefully avoid triggering individuals who have the word blocked on Tumblr.
This is probably the most subjective item on Queer Condensed and should be treated as such.
As always, this resource is free to use for noncommerical ventures as long as credit is given. The original Publisher files can be requested for modification through the ask box. If you download, a reblog or link to this post would be appreciated!
Also, links to Tumblr posts that talk about queer identity and the history of the term:
The text can be read below the readmore, formatted in the intended reading order.
Front Panel
The “Queer” Question, a Condensed Guide
Produced by Queer Condensed, queercondensed.tumblr.com
Version 1.0
Inside Flap
Summary
The word “queer” has a lot of debates surrounding it. What does it mean? Who can use it? When and where can it be said? When there’s this many questions, sometimes people forget to slow down and explain the controversy and the history of the word. This pamphlet is an introduction to some of the arguments surrounding this controversial word, a brief historical overview, and a suggestion for rules of its use.
This topic, more than most, is incredibly subjective and should be taken as such. The ideas expressed are the opinions of Queer Condensed, not the opinions of all queer people.
Disclaimer
Queer Condensed is meant to be a guide, but in no way is anything in our materials definitive. Queerness and our community is far too subjective and we just don’t have the space. Take what you read as an introduction and maybe check out the provided resources or ask people open to taking questions if you want to know more.
Published on July 27th, 2017
Leftmost Interior: What is Queer?
In LGBTQ+ circles and communities, the proper use of the word “queer” often comes up. There are hundreds of opinion pieces and personal anecdotes on the Internet, all with different takes. But what does the word mean? Why are people so up in arms about it? Well, there’s no simple answer here.
One of the problems in defining “queer” is the fact that it means so many different things to different people. Queer can be:
· A noun, verb, or adjective
· A slur, or offensive word, used against LGBTQ+ people
· An identity, with it’s own different definitions
· An umbrella term that replaces LGBTQ+
· Radical activism relating to LGBTQ+ people and issues
· The act of subverting any societal norm, especially with gender and sexuality
· A term of empowerment and pride
From this non-exhaustive list, it’s clear that discussions of when, where, and how “queer” should be used can be very difficult and there is no consensus regarding it.
To simplify things, this pamphlet focuses on queer as a slur vs an identity or umbrella term for the LGBTQ+ community. This, obviously, doesn’t cover all interpretations of the term and all voices on the matter, but it does help us understand the argument that is most often seen in the LGBTQ+ community surrounding the word.
Middle Interior: History of the Word
“Queer” existed before being connected to the LGBTQ+ community and originally just meant strange or peculiar. The first known use of the word as an insult was 1894 towards the famously gay Oscar Wilde, and later it became a widespread insult towards anyone perceived to be gay, even if they weren’t.
The reclaiming of queer has a long history too. Accounts say that individuals started “taking back” the word and using it for themselves in the 1980’s. An early adopter of the word was the organization Queer Nation in early 1990.
The topics that queer theory and studies concerns itself have been around for much longer than the name. The term “queer theory” was coined in the 1990s as well and was adopted by many theorists. Many universities use this term, though others use “LGBT” or “gender and sexuality” as substitutes due to the sensitive nature of the word in certain regions.
Reclaiming isn’t universal, though. Plenty of people still have “queer” used as a slur against them and dislike its use to refer to them.
Why Do We Use It?
The project is called Queer Condensed because A) it’s catchy and B) it’s been reclaimed heavily in the area the creators are from. Most people use queer as an empowering term. Additionally, it’s a useful umbrella term and feels more broad than saying ‘the LGBTQ+ community.
Rightmost Interior: Using it Respectfully
The use of “queer” is as complex as its definitions. Some use the term broadly and insist that those who disagree aren’t proper parts of the community. Others say that any use of it is hateful. Queer Condensed hopes to show a middle ground.
If someone uses queer as an identity, it’s no one’s right to refuse to use it. Queer identity has a long history and it’s endlessly useful. Personal discomfort with the word never outweighs respecting others’ identities.
Using it as a broad term is trickier. In general, it’s best to learn about your local community’s feelings and definitions. Some areas have a lot of people using the word, others have a majority that feel hurt by it. Respectfully asking never hurts. Something to keep in mind is that even in places where the word is reclaimed, it’s usually not something for non-LGBTQ+ people to say because the word is rooted in LGBTQ+ oppression and violence.
Finally, always keep the feelings of others in mind when using the word outside of an identity. There are often people uncomfortable with the term even when many others have reclaimed it. Respect people who ask you to not use it on them and censor it as “q-slur” if asked. It’s impossible to know everyone’s experience, so communication is always key.
In case you want to see the words of people IDing as queer and talking about the term’s history, check out the post for this guide! Links there will take you to Tumblr posts that discuss the subject
[Image Description: The inside and outside of a pamphlet with a pink and purple color scheme entitled “The ‘Queer’ Question” laid out side-by-side. There is a summary, disclaimer, and helpful resources on the first half and sections titled “What is Queer,” “History of the Word,” and “Using it Respectfully” on the second. The text is small and blurry as it is only meant as a preview image to the resource described in this post]
The “Queer” Question - Pamphlet #8
In this pamphlet, you’ll find examples of what “queer” means, a brief rundown of the term’s history, and a suggestion on how to use it respectfully. As can be seen, the word is not censored and only the post is tagged as “q-slur” to hopefully avoid triggering individuals who have the word blocked on Tumblr.
This is probably the most subjective item on Queer Condensed and should be treated as such.
As always, this resource is free to use for noncommerical ventures as long as credit is given. The original Publisher files can be requested for modification through the ask box. If you download, a reblog or link to this post would be appreciated!
Also, links to Tumblr posts that talk about queer identity and the history of the term:
Update to the newest addition to this blog. It already had an image description so I added the full text and made the links a bit bigger and easier to click on. One more day of these and then I’m on to writing the next material! Whatever that will be.
[Image Description: The inside and outside of a pamphlet with a pink and purple color scheme entitled “The ‘Queer’ Question” laid out side-by-side. There is a summary, disclaimer, and helpful resources on the first half and sections titled “What is Queer,” “History of the Word,” and “Using it Respectfully” on the second. The text is small and blurry as it is only meant as a preview image to the resource described in this post]
The “Queer” Question - Pamphlet #8
In this pamphlet, you’ll find examples of what “queer” means, a brief rundown of the term’s history, and a suggestion on how to use it respectfully. As can be seen, the word is not censored and only the post is tagged as “q-slur” to hopefully avoid triggering individuals who have the word blocked on Tumblr.
This is probably the most subjective item on Queer Condensed and should be treated as such.
As always, this resource is free to use for noncommerical ventures as long as credit is given. The original Publisher files can be requested for modification through the ask box. If you download, a reblog or link to this post would be appreciated!
Also, links to Tumblr posts that talk about queer identity and the history of the term:
Update to the newest addition to this blog. It already had an image description so I added the full text and made the links a bit bigger and easier to click on. One more day of these and then I’m on to writing the next material! Whatever that will be.
psa to all cishets: when a queer person isnt out to you, but you keep noticing them doing and saying Queer Things, they probably arent just “thinking they’re being subtle.” like, they’re probably deliberately testing the waters to see how you react, and then if they start backpedaling and trying to explain it away, you uh. reacted badly.
like before you pat yourself on the back for being so perceptive, maybe ask yourself why the person feels uncomfortable talking about it with you and try to correct that instead of just cornering them and trying to force them to come out.
i guess what i’m saying is, respond in kind? if someone is dropping very small hints, like talking about how cute other girls hairstyles are or something, respond with an affirmation, that yes, they are very attractive. if they “jokingly” refer to themselves with gendered words that don’t match their assigned gender, maybe yes-and the joke and repeat it back to them or something. or even just casually laugh along.
dont respond to “that girl has cute hair” with “what the fuck are you gay” or even the nicer but equally daunting “you can tell me anything and i’ll always love you.” follow their lead.
it’s a whole-ass conversation, and you need to communicate to them that you’re supportive WITHOUT dragging them somewhere they might not be ready to go, AND without trying to swoop in to be the benevolent savior of the conversation
my guys. my guys. damian’s not threatening the cops here you guys know that right. you guys know that devin grayson wrote him intending to break up pride bc it was a riot right. we know that devin grayson made poor decisions w both of jon and damian here right.
god okay see. i know comic fans have that joke abt ignoring canon and all that but this is political. this is actively anti-riot and we need to understand the implications of that now (esp with that correlation of riots and the fight for black liberation). like this isn’t a fictional character thing can we please look at it as a piece of work instead of as a thing a character is in right now. we should be looking at devin grayson, the author and questioning her. please look at the bigger picture here and think abt what it means for a dc writer to actively write something that anti-riot and that sentiment that pride is no longer abt the fight for queer liberation but only about the celebration of queerness
The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”
