Early night vale cecilos was so funny. Imagine being Carlos. You move to a new town and turn on the local radio station and you just hear the host talking about how he wants you carnally.
That’s just how radio is. Our golden boy DJ got into multiple fights and eventually broke up with his girlfriend because of exactly this, also he kept saying super personal details of their life on air. Stuff like her menstural cycle, whether they would ever get married/have kids, his family’s opinion of her. Dick move on the part of an otherwise nice guy, I tell you it was redonk awkward having the desk directly outside of the studio because he’d do the show and walk out and I’d be there, suddenly knowing a lot more about his love life than I ever wanted to know, and having to be professional afterwards.
(never a day goes by when I don’t hear of a radio listener being…this way)
Scenario: You are listening to the radio streaming online. Suddenly a thing pops up! You’ve won an iPad! Do you:
A) ignore the obvious scam
B ) fix your AdBlock
C) open the popup, fill out all your information, give them 5$ for “shipping,” get called by your bank who is nervous on your behalf that somehow all your money is being withdrawn into an unknown website, figure out NOW that you’ve been scammed, decide this is the radios fault, and demand an explanation
If you picked C, you’re the guy who called this morning!
“This can’t be legal!”
It’s not, sir you’re gullible and conmen love that
“So I didn’t win anything from you guys?”
No jfc that’s the oldest online scam there is right next to the Nigerian princes
“You know, people are going to get confused by this stuff!”
Literally just you
“My wife says it’s a scam and so does Amazon!”
They’re right, also how tf is she still married to you
Also what does Amazon have to do with anything why are they involved now
“Well what are you doing to fix this?”
Nothing, this is on you also I’m the rEcEpTiOnIsT
(note I did not actually say of this. While it sucks this guy got scammed and he really should have known better, I do understand that not everyone has internet literacy at their aid and also that there’s a ton of reasons why this can still happen in 2022. But at a certain point, I am still going to sigh heavily.)
Wow, y'all really like the dumbasses that call the radio huh? There’s more. Kee-riste there are more.
The lady who was OUTRAGED that we dared to refer to the EverGiven by female pronouns. In spite of my assuring her that the feminine is very much still in use for boats, she still screamed “I AM NOT AN OBJECT!” and slammed down the phone.
Listener won tickets to a show and claimed we never had them waiting for her at will call, so now she wants Wanda Sykes tix to replace them. There are so many things wrong with this I have a list:
1. The show she didn’t get was in 2019
2. She was NOT ACTUALLY one of the winners
3. She wanted to talk to a DJ who doesn’t work here anymore
4. And when he did it wasn’t for that station she won it from
5. We are not connected to the Wanda Sykes show at all
6. This doesn’t work like that? Nothing works like that???
7. The 2019 show was cancelled anyway so wtf she talking about, will call had nothing for anyone.
So she was claiming we “owe” her an event. Real curious what she planned to do about this. Demand a refund for free tickets she didn’t win for and event that didn’t happen? Take her business elsewhere? It’s the radio, dumbass.
Job Fair Joan: she showed up to the job fair we were hosting, and was kicked out for stealing all the pens. Apparently when she had asked if she could have one (we had a bunch of station swag lying around) she interpreted “sure help yourself” to mean “take all of them.” When she demanded the name of the guard who was showing her out he sarcastically said “I’m Santa Claus.”
So Monday morning she calls the station, demanding to speak to the owner to complain that Santa Claus had wrongfully kicked her out of the job fair.
This was the second job fair this had happened. With her. She got kicked out for stealing twice and demanded an apology from the owner of the radio station
Listener: do you take song requests
Me: no
Listener: ok can you play Counting Stars?
Me: no we don’t take song requests
Listener: ok could you play Justin Bieber?
Me: …we STILL don’t take requests
Listener: I wanna talk to your manager
(five minutes later)
Listener: can you play Soul Sister
Me: no as I explained earlier we don’t take requests
Listener: no that wasn’t me. Can you play Soul Sister
Me: no we don’t take requests
Listener: I want to talk to your manager
Me: you know I can see it’s your number on the caller ID right
I work at the radio and I have worked retail and I have worked food service.
The people who call in to the radio station are the dumbest people alive, holy shit.
Be honest, do you guys want the stories?
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN OK LET’S GO
Caller: Hi. I’m pretty shocked you guys are putting people in danger with your traffic report.
Me: Could you elaborate please?
Caller: I’m on (freeway) and there’s a branch hanging down. Someone is going to hit it and you haven’t reported it. I’ve been listening all morning so I know you haven’t.
Me: Just so I’m clear, the branch is not actually in the road? There is no hazard actually blocking anything?
Caller: no but there’s going to be. It’s going to be your fault when the branch falls.
Me: ma'am if there’s not actually anything going on to report we can’t report anything. You called to tell me about a tree.
Caller: Hi can I talk to Amy Winehouse?
Me: Amy Winehouse.
Caller: yeah I just heard her on your station.
Me: …I don’t know how to tell you this but no, I cannot put her on the phone.
Caller: she was just there
Me: That’s a recording. She’s not actually here.
(caller hung up before I could explain that not only is that not how radio music works, amy winehouse died in 2011.)
Caller: I cannot BELIEVE you guys would pay such FILTH. I’m AMERICAN.
Me: Which station are you having issue with?
Caller: The one playing that FILTH. The one saying “Imagine no religion.” What kind of anti Christian message are you suggesting??
Me: the… Beatles song?
Caller: I’m AMERICAN.
Me: Is the issue that the Beatles are English…? Because I have bad news about most of the oldies station if so
Caller: I want to report about some false information being pushed as news, it’s not relevant to the topic at hand and they’re saying it is and they’re trying to silence me and I think you need to do something about it.
Me: ma'am please slow down
Caller: the firewatch group on Facebook! They banned me for saying we shouldn’t be talking about the Australia fires! You need to make them reinstate my place in the group or people that depend on me for fire news could be at risk!
Me: that’s not our group, ma'am. Ours is the name of our station, we do not have any connection to the firewatch.
Caller: but it’s news.
Me: there’s more than one news source in the county ma'am.
(yes, she called to report her FB drama)
Caller: there’s a cloud. It’s big.
Me: is it a smoke cloud? Can you smell–
Caller: no I think it’s a regular cloud. It’s big though.
Me: do you see lightning…?
Caller: no it’s just big. I didn’t want anyone to worry.
Caller: play more Toby Keith.
Me: Sure, I’ll pass that on to the DJ–
Caller: I wish I could be a cat.
Me: dang me too
Caller: anyway that’s all I got for you today. Toby Keith, and I want to be a cat. Be sure to hug your animals. Meow!
Me: Meow!
Caller: Meow!
Me: Meow!
There are more, ducklings.
Caller: here’s what I don’t understand. If communist China is supposed to be so bad, why do you support them?
Me: Uh
Caller: because you play their games. Every Thursday.
Me: when you say games–
Caller: (local basketball team) is owned by communist China.
Me: ma'am they are an American team based out of our city.
Caller: yes but they’re owned by the communists. You spend all week saying how bad china is and then you give their team two hours to play the game.
Me: could you point me at a source?
Caller: oh I’m sure it’s somewhere. It’s something I heard.
Caller: can you guys play my song? That I recorded?
Me: we don’t usually do that but if you get onto a label somewhere–
Caller: I’m outside can I just come in and play it for you
Me: excuse me WHAT
(guy comes in the office somehow?? The entrance has an electronic lock I still don’t know how he bypassed it. He slaps an unmarked CD on my desk)
Caller: here. You can play it off of that.
Me: do you have a name…?
(he writes the word Obvious on the CD with a sharpie)
Me: do you have a last name? A phone number?
(he writes the word Music after Obvious)
Me: your name is… Obvious Music.
Caller: yes.
Me: you do realize nobody is going to put a random CD into their computer right? How do we contact you?
(he leaves without another word. We still haven’t played it)
Caller: you were off air from 10 until 6 this morning and there was nobody I could call! Why don’t you have anyone at the station!
Me: overnight
Caller: YES!
Me: but it’s back on now?
Caller: yes
Me: then we fixed it, what is the problem exactly?
Sorry i haven’t posted any of my art in a while, this ridiculous thing has been taking up all my time over the last month! Anyways its finally finished, so enjoy :p
I got pretty caught up in being busy recently so I haven’t posted anything in a while. Felt like I should! This is something I worked on a while ago for Gamma Radio again, it’s a background of the studio, which I lined up the characters designs on that I also made. They’ll be using it as a banner and some merch! It was fun to do, I really enjoyed it.
I promise I’ll post more often, and do some Trollhunter’s drawing!
