Reverse Robin Musings on Superman

aka Clark Kent, M.A. (Journalism), PGDip (Cornhusking)

RobinI

• Wowie
• You are tall and buff and you can FLY
• I hereby dub you to be my co-dad
• Of course I will go flying with you
• Look at my quadruple somersault
• Of course you can call me son
• Don’t be silly Bruce, of course it’s not weird

RobinII

• Dude
• You’re buff
• Bet you can clear out Crime Alley in minute
• Hey, wait a gosh darned minute
• :D
• Wanna raid Maroni’s criminal compound with me

RobinIII

• Oh hi Kon’s brother
• Yes I am dating your clone
• No we will not address it
• It makes Bruce sad
• He thinks that I’m going to run away to live on the farm
• I saw him burning a pair of overalls the other day
• I think they were yours

RobinIV

• Hey supes
• Can I hang out with you
• I need to talk to someone who can actually shuck a corncob
• It’s the sign of a real man
• I saw Bruce at the barbeque
• And he just pointed at the corn and asked why it was green
• Smh
• Damn bourgeois

Robin III again

• I’m back
• And I have this promise ring that Kon gave me <3
• It’s technically a strand of hay that he tied around my finger
• Bruce is acting as though Kon choked him with it or something
• He keeps turning purple whenever he sees it

RobinV

• Why did no one tell me that you had not one, but multiple cows
• To have the affection of barnyard animals is to be truly wealthy
• Father is a pauper, in this regard
• You must be a good and noble man
• See how the poultry follow in your footsteps
• *wipes evil tears away*

Reverse Robin Musings on Mr. Freeze

aka Dr. V. Freis, Ph.D. (Cryogenics), Gotham University, Tenured Lecturer for BIO 301 - Cell Cryogenics

Robin I

• Ooh it’s cold
• I suddenly my choice of uniform
• I should invest in combat uggs
• Oh hey mister
• Can I crank up the thermostat please
• :(

Robin II

• Fuck it’s cold
• Colder than a pimp’s heart in winter in Crime Alley
• Oh I scandalized you
• So you’re an academic huh
• White collar wuss
• Bet you won’t sweat if your life depended on it
• Oh you literally can’t
• Sorry, I have preconceived notions on the upper middle class

Robin III

• Have you given thought to opening an ice cream franchise
• It would provide passive income
• And you can use it to save your frozen wife
• And maybe get a new wardrobe
• Silver and blue are so 2010 colors

Robin IV

• I will be your official liaison for your ice cream shoppe with Robin III because Batman grounded him for canoodling with Superboy
• I am a silent partner
• But I insist that Belgian waffle be on the menu
• No Batman doesn’t know about our venture
• He doesn’t encourage creativity

Robin III

• I see you’ve upgraded your ice cannon
• The ice cream shoppe is really bringing in the revenue huh
• This is where you thank me
• With more dividends, I dont care about sentiments

Robin V

• Cad, you are making my nose run!
• I am unused to such climates
• ARGH
• MY SINUSES
• I can blow my own nose, Nightwing
• *honk*

Reverse Robin Musings on The Penguin

What do the Robins think about Gotham’s richest baddie?

Robin I

• Finally
• I am taller than someone
• Ooh birds
• I like birds, they are probably not going to kidnap me
• Oh no they’re kidnapping me :(
• My love for all creatures great and small has endangered me
• Welp, time to punch some birds I guess

Robin II

• Hey it’s the rich guy with the bird fetish
• Lol did you seriously try to attack me with birds
• Bitch I’m from Crime Alley
• I caught and ate pigeons on a daily basis
• I bet penguins are more nutritious though
• Why you crying
• If you gonna throw flippers at me, then you’d better get ready to be eaten

Robin III

• What did you just say
• Bitch you did not just say that you’re the richest man in Gotham
• That’s me
• Sorry Bruce
• Money fight
• *proceeds to throw dollar bills at Penguin*
• This is called death by a thousand papercuts
• Eventually your cuts will get infected and you’ll die
• Because this is Gotham money, and its pretty gross tbh

Robin IV

• What do you mean how did I track you down
• There’s a literal trail of bird shit that leads here
• I feel like Dorothy in Wizard of Oz
• Only my road is bird poop
• And my friend is Batman :/

Robin III again

• Oh heard you had to go to the hospital for a MRSA infection
• Told you Gotham money is filthy
• I hope that the hospitalization cost you a lot of money
• See, this is why we need universal healthcare
• The healthcare system is the true villain

Robin V

• Birds in captivity!
• Fiend, I shall release these noble birds from your hold
• And then I shall probably kill you
• Batman will never find the body
• Drake said he’d help me hide it
• To cement his place as richest man in Gotham

Reverse Robin Musings upon The Riddler

aka Edward Nygma, B.Eng., M.S. (Nerd Shit)

What do the Robins think about their adversaries? Tune in to find out!

Robin I

• Ooh, you like the color green too!
• It’s my favorite
• A riddle? Okay!
• I got the answer!
• What did I win?
• Meanie
• I’m telling Batman

Robin II

• Hey nerd
• I don’t respect you
• You’re basically a white collar criminal
• Can’t do shit
• Hey, I got a riddle for you
• What’s green at night and black and blue in the morning?
• You!
• :D

Robin III

• Okay so Batman’s like three minutes behind me, so we can chill till he gets here
• Sure, I can do riddles
• Several riddles later…
• This is fun
• I liked that bit of code you wrote to hack the commissioner’s computer btw
• You’re welcome
• Oh Batman’s here now
• See ya

Robin IV

• Hey nerd
• Why’re you crying
• I learned this great new kick routine yesterday
• I wanna try it out
• Stay still

Robin III again

• Hey Eddie
• Aww, you missed me
• Sure, we’re can hug it out
• I got you this notebook
• So you can write down all your riddles

Robin V

• You dare to besmirch the noble color green by cladding your worthless body with it
• I shall dye your suit red
• With your blood
• No I don’t want a riddle you worm
• Prepare to do battle
• Stop crying