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Robin Musings, as per Darksied

Ph.D. (Moste Evile Arts), M.A. (Dry skin)

Robin I/ Nightwing

What a sweet childe
A pity that all existence not under my control is futile
What are you doing
Stop looking at me with those big, cow eyes
Argh my raisin sized heart
It is expanding to accommodate emotion

Robin II/ Red Hood

No I will not fuck off into a commode and die
I can’t believe that you’re Robin
Where’s the other one
Oh he’s become hot
Oh noe
The childe is attacking me
His curse words are actually hurtful :(

Robin III/ Red Robin

What is this
I think a gnome fell into the wrong universe
Oh it is a childe
What do you mean I should moisturize more
I don’t want WayneMart industrial strength moisturizer
I am not going to increase your profit margin

Robin IV/ Spoiler

Okay I will admit that I am salty about being bald
You don’t need to flaunt your admittedly glorious hair at me
No I have never used WayneMart Hair Rejuvenation Formula
Why are they everywhere
Is this a conspiracy

Robin III again/Red Robin

NO I don’t want a gift certificate to Wayne Spa and Beauty Centre
My looks are the result of Dark Majicks
I highly doubt Wayne Cosmetics will help :/

Robin V/ Damian

I feel a sudden influx of Evile
The Evile is highly concentrated in this small childe
Perhaps I could claim the childe
And his jiggly mother-brother
Oh noe I have awakened a great blood lust in the childe
I am doomed :(

#tim drake #bruce wayne #batfam #batman #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #batfamily #red hood #red robin #robin musings #robin dc #stephanie brown #spoiler dc #batgirl #darksied #batbros #dc comics

@kindaangelic

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 01:07:32

Reverse Robin Musings on Superman

aka Clark Kent, M.A. (Journalism), PGDip (Cornhusking)

RobinI

Wowie
You are tall and buff and you can FLY
I hereby dub you to be my co-dad
Of course I will go flying with you
Look at my quadruple somersault
Of course you can call me son
Don’t be silly Bruce, of course it’s not weird

RobinII

Dude
You’re buff
Bet you can clear out Crime Alley in minute
Hey, wait a gosh darned minute
:D
Wanna raid Maroni’s criminal compound with me

RobinIII

Oh hi Kon’s brother
Yes I am dating your clone
No we will not address it
It makes Bruce sad
He thinks that I’m going to run away to live on the farm
I saw him burning a pair of overalls the other day
I think they were yours

RobinIV

Hey supes
Can I hang out with you
I need to talk to someone who can actually shuck a corncob
It’s the sign of a real man
I saw Bruce at the barbeque
And he just pointed at the corn and asked why it was green
Smh
Damn bourgeois

Robin III again

I’m back
And I have this promise ring that Kon gave me <3
It’s technically a strand of hay that he tied around my finger
Bruce is acting as though Kon choked him with it or something
He keeps turning purple whenever he sees it

RobinV

Why did no one tell me that you had not one, but multiple cows
To have the affection of barnyard animals is to be truly wealthy
Father is a pauper, in this regard
You must be a good and noble man
See how the poultry follow in your footsteps
*wipes evil tears away*

#batman #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake #batfamily #red hood #nightwing #robin musings #red robin #stephanie brown #spoiler dc #bruce wayne #clark kent #superman #reverse robin musings #batgirl #batfam #batbros

@kindaangelic

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 09:38:28

Reverse Robin Musings on The Penguin

What do the Robins think about Gotham’s richest baddie?

Robin I

Finally
I am taller than someone
Ooh birds
I like birds, they are probably not going to kidnap me
Oh no they’re kidnapping me :(
My love for all creatures great and small has endangered me
Welp, time to punch some birds I guess

Robin II

Hey it’s the rich guy with the bird fetish
Lol did you seriously try to attack me with birds
Bitch I’m from Crime Alley
I caught and ate pigeons on a daily basis
I bet penguins are more nutritious though
Why you crying
If you gonna throw flippers at me, then you’d better get ready to be eaten

Robin III

What did you just say
Bitch you did not just say that you’re the richest man in Gotham
That’s me
Sorry Bruce
Money fight
*proceeds to throw dollar bills at Penguin*
This is called death by a thousand papercuts
Eventually your cuts will get infected and you’ll die
Because this is Gotham money, and its pretty gross tbh

Robin IV

What do you mean how did I track you down
There’s a literal trail of bird shit that leads here
I feel like Dorothy in Wizard of Oz
Only my road is bird poop
And my friend is Batman :/

Robin III again

Oh heard you had to go to the hospital for a MRSA infection
Told you Gotham money is filthy
I hope that the hospitalization cost you a lot of money
See, this is why we need universal healthcare
The healthcare system is the true villain

Robin V

Birds in captivity!
Fiend, I shall release these noble birds from your hold
And then I shall probably kill you
Batman will never find the body
Drake said he’d help me hide it
To cement his place as richest man in Gotham

@kindaangelic

Sun, 25 Jul 2021 05:02:58

Reverse Robin Musings upon The Riddler

aka Edward Nygma, B.Eng., M.S. (Nerd Shit)

What do the Robins think about their adversaries? Tune in to find out!

Robin I

Ooh, you like the color green too!
It’s my favorite
A riddle? Okay!
I got the answer!
What did I win?
Meanie
I’m telling Batman

Robin II

Hey nerd
I don’t respect you
You’re basically a white collar criminal
Can’t do shit
Hey, I got a riddle for you
What’s green at night and black and blue in the morning?
You!
:D

Robin III

Okay so Batman’s like three minutes behind me, so we can chill till he gets here
Sure, I can do riddles
Several riddles later…
This is fun
I liked that bit of code you wrote to hack the commissioner’s computer btw
You’re welcome
Oh Batman’s here now
See ya

Robin IV

Hey nerd
Why’re you crying
I learned this great new kick routine yesterday
I wanna try it out
Stay still

Robin III again

Hey Eddie
Aww, you missed me
Sure, we’re can hug it out
I got you this notebook
So you can write down all your riddles

Robin V

You dare to besmirch the noble color green by cladding your worthless body with it
I shall dye your suit red
With your blood
No I don’t want a riddle you worm
Prepare to do battle
Stop crying