i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths
A few months ago, I thought to myself “Mmm I’m so tired… how much longer in this one again?” and I knew instinctively what I meant by ‘this one’ was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identity/existential crisis like how many times have I been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me.
In July 2017, one night I woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice “the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes” and I don’t know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds.
i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved
One time I passed out on the couch after going a few days without sleep, and when I woke up mom said I had been speaking in German in my sleep, and it sounded like I was ordering people to build something
When I was like 5 my mom took me to the grave of her friend that died of cancer and I asked what happened and my mom explained that she died and i fucking said “I died once” and my mom asked me to explain and I went into pretty detailed explanation about how I died in a war because “I got stabbed by a gun with a knife at the end” (my exact words) and I met god and she (she’s a woman obvs) asked if I wanted to stay or go back to earth and I said I wanted to go back so I chose my mom cause she was struggling to have a baby (she had me through IVF) and lemme tell you that changed her like nothing will make you second guess your religious beliefs like a five year old explaining heaven and god to you
this post is a fucking ride and it reminded me of something i forgot
one time i was playing on my wii (like 5-ish years ago) and i thought to myself “i haven’t checked on rowan in a week, has he died from the plague? :(“ and i didn’t think anything of it for a bit until later when i had a “what the fuck” moment
I love this kind of shit because it happens to me all the goddamn time. Like:
-The other night I rolled over in the middle of the night to shake my partner awake, proceeded to tell him how I was glad that ‘this time round we would truly have the freedom to love each other properly’ and how his hands belonged to his last self, but his eyes had never changed in all the lives I’d known him. And he just laid there in the dark like wtf because I was asleep. Like I’d woken him to tell him that all in my sleep and then left him to have a crisis.
- Watching the history channel with my Pop on the couch, tender age of 7, and they’re talking about crucifixion. And my pop, ever the funny man, is like “that looks like it aughta hurt”. And I just turn to look at him and without hesitation reply “only at first”. And he’s like “what do you mean” and tiny me just shrugged and said “well there’s a place beyond the hurt where everything just stops” and he turned the telly off and left the room.
- night before Christmas 2012, dreamt I’d been stabbed in the lungs by an angel with the face of a falcon. He looked at me and told me he had to do it, so that ‘my next breath would come as a rebirth’. When he started to glow so brightly that it burned my eyes, I woke up to all the lights in my house on and a dark bruise beneath my rib cage. Will admit, that one freaked me out.
- walked past a graveyard with a friend back in middle school on the way to her house, and mid conversation I stopped talking and stood stock still, looked over at the walls,and quietly said “I have a friend in there”. Then picked up the conversation and continued strolling like nothing had happened. To be fair, I didn’t realise what I’d said. She still tells me I’m the reason she can’t walk past that graveyard anymore.
- a couple of years ago when I was in Wales I walked past an old stone house just outside of Aberystwyth, and just started to weep. I had the overwhelming thought that I needed to be in there to get dinner ready for the children, but in a different life so long ago and so impossible to reach, that thefeeling of loss was instant and overwhelming.
- was about to use a pedestrian crossing, when my whole body just sort of went hey don’t do that, and so I stopped and put my arm out to stop the woman who was crossing behind me, and 2 seconds later a car came skidding around the corner and crashed into the tree on the other side of the crossing, and I just whispered “ha, not this time” and didn’t really think about it until later when I realised I’d nearly died again. (Btw i waited for th ambulance to show up and the dude driving the car was fine, just hit his head and was drunk af at 10:30am on a Thursday).
- another dream I had just this week, I was sitting in an otherwise empty cinema with a tall, thin man. I can’t really recall what he looked like, except he was well dressed, impossibly pale, and he kind of blurred when you looked directly at him, so I mainly watched him out the corner of my eye and looked ahead at the blank movie screen. He was holding my hand, and he asked me if i enjoyed my life. I said yes and explained why. He then said, almost verbatim, “And how does this one weigh against the last? Can it tip the scales, or is it, at last, to be found lacking?” And I replied, almost verbatim “I weigh my lives against my joy, and each life I find there is more joy to be discovered.” He replied with a laugh, lifted my hand to a kiss and said “till next time then” and disappeared. I woke up in the dark with both my cats sitting on me, alert, and staring out my bedroom door.
So many more, but these are the first that come to mind.
When I was little, my mother, my sister and I would dream in unison so often that one time when my mother was having a rather dull dream about golf my tiny 3 year old self shook her awake and told her to stop because it was boring. She dreaded having nightmares because both of us would wake up shrieking.
My sister and I have also been known to argue in our sleep. Witnesses assure us that whatever made the shouting start, we both knew what it was and were mad about it. We don’t need to be in the same room for this.
We also stayed in a haunted house for a while. An old lady had fallen in the chilly hallway just outside the warm kitchen, broken her hip, and couldn’t reach high enough to open the door, so she died of hypothermia a foot away from a telephone and warmth. Without fail, every person who stood in that spot and tried to open that door - the single most used door in the house, being between the kitchen and the bathroom and front door - felt cold and found themselves scrabbling frantically at the door handle, which was always strangely hard to open from that side. You got used to it to an extent, but it always hit strangers hard.
Ok I just have to add my own experiences on here so I’m chronological order…
I’ve always had déjà-vu, it’s always super real and I always try to do something weird to “snap out of it”, but sometimes it “predicts” the weird thing too.
When I was 8-9 ish, I had the really vivid dream. I was tired and groggy, my mom and I were at a stake n shake (a very sentimental place to me), we were sitting in a booth and in a booth across from us there were like 10 people all crammed into one. They were having a good time and not harming anyone so I didn’t care. We were waiting for the food to arrive when my moms phone rang, when she picked it up she said “hey…. oh my gosh” (or something along those lines). She kept talking and hung up the phone, she then looked at me and said “papa died”. It was a weird dream and I kinda brushed it off as one of my “acid trip dreams” (where everything’s really weird but makes complete sense at the same time). A year or so later, there we were, at that state n shake, and my mom got the call. But this time I knew what was happening so I was already crying by the time she hung up the phone and she looked at me and I just asked “papa?” And she nodded. I was crying obviously, I was a kid who just lost a grandfather, and the group looked at us and just became very sad all of the sudden.
Next, in 5th grade, it was really late (or early) and I was trying to go to sleep, but I had this feeling that something was WRONG. So I stayed up pacing my room until I heard my dad slamming open the door to his room and going into the living room (he went out sometimes to watch news in there but he was always trying not to wake my mom). And I had the feeling like “ok it’s over now” and went to sleep. The next morning I found out that my grandpa had fallen, hit his head, and fell into a coma where he died a week later.
In 8th grade I was sitting awake one night, reading my book (Simon vs the homosapiens agenda, 10/10 would reccomend) and I got this string feeling that I was gonna die the next day. Like I was freaking out, writing a makeshift will, whatever when I texted one of my friends and told her. She responded “oh yeah, this dude threatened to shoot yo the school tomorrow”. I had not heard of this before then but I said to myself that I was gonna finish the book before I die no matter what… so I did. There was not a shooting the next day but a bunch of people left early and my only thought was “I have to stay to protect my friend”.
These are more recent and a lot less weird. So at the beginning of the pandemic (February ish, there weren’t any cases in my state), I was going to this church event/concert. While I was there waiting, the crowd began to gather so I just kinda noped out and went to the bathroom and started having a panic attack. The next day I felt sick, like REALLY sick. And I was sick for ~2 weeks, coughing, not being able to breathe, runny nose and congestion like you wouldn’t belive. Later my doctors said i most likely had COVID and my mom said God was trying to keep me from infecting more people. Lastly, I was at another church event (again, what is it with me and church events?) and I was hit in the head really hard during a game. I felt woozy and my head hurt a lot so I sat down for a bit and went home early. The next day we had a lake retreat for a day and all the boa ta we were gonna use for tubing either fell through or broke the day of. They said it was the first time in 20 years anything like this happened. So I didn’t go tubing, which is a shame cause I love it but when I do I go HARD, like I have a death wish levels. (I actually got a concussion from it one time and a girl that went to the lake a few days before us had also gotten a concussion from tubing…) the next day I started feeling foggy and my head hurt with light and stuff so I realized I had a concussion but my only thought was “God made it so the boat wouldn’t work so I wouldn’t be dumb and get hurt worse”.
a decade ago, 20 children and 6 staff members were shot and killed in the tragic sandy hook elementary school shooting. today, a decade later, 14 children and 1 teacher had their lives taken at robb elementary school in texas. it’s been a decade, and there has been nothing done to prevent this from ever happening again. may they all rest in peace.
The idea of the gun lobby saying the solution against guns is arming teachers is mind blowing.
Like, the people selling the people-killing tools are telling you that the way to stop the people-killing tools from killing people is to buy more people-killing tools from them. Right.
so there was a shooting that happened at 3 spas in Atlanta that killed 8 people, six of which were asian women. the articles i was going to link had pictures of the shooter, which i am not going to spread, but this can be easily validated with a google search.
the shooting in Atlanta of 8 massage parlour workers by a white man was a white supremacist hate crime and the latest in a series of attacks on Asians in the US. however, it’s also extremely important to note that the group he targeted are a community that is already more vulnerable to state violence than many, in form of police raids, deportations, and systematised stigmatisation. this is an industry that’s often conflated with and overlapping with sex work, and the industry has faced decades of criminalisation and dehumanisation, with a long history of being targeted by cops and systemic injustice along with racialised misogyny and fetishisation. they are also often excluded from conversations about the latest rise of anti-asian racism in the US, since many do not fulfill the “american” part of asian-american.
if can donate, also consider donating to red canary song,butterfly, and swan, grassroots organisations and activists that fight for migrant and labour justice for migrant workers and sex workers.
did not stop the shooter from entering the building
saved their own kids and left other kids to die
handcuffed and pepper sprayed parents trying to save their kids
is the reason why I truly believe that no matter how bad a situation is, calling the police will not improvethe situation. even in a worst case scenario where I might die, I don’t think I would ever call them.
when talking police abolition a lot of people will (often in genuinely good faith) ask what we would do without them in these specific horrific cases of the mass shooter. and the answer is– we would have to try our best to save ourselves and each other, just like we already do now, but without the threat of being handcuffed, pepper sprayed, or reported to ICE while doing so.
The situation is horrific, but we are moreable to survive and help others to survive without the presence of police. I think it’s scary to acknowledge that, because we want there to be someone who we can rely on to save us, and so it’s easy to let ourselves believe that police are that someone. but they aren’t. and internalizing that we’re alreadyon our own against that type of violence and harm is hard. but once we can internalize it, we can start figuring out ways to prevent, mitigate, respond to, and heal from this sort of harm together.
. // tw police brutality, death, guns, and shooting //
for those who aren’t aware, yesterday there was a shooting in paniqui, tarlac. a mother, sonya gregorio (52), and her son, frank anthony gregorio (25) were both shot in the head TWICE because they lit up fireworks in their area, and a police officer, jonel nuezca, got mad. jonel nuezca was off-duty and police officers aren’t allowed to bring their guns around when not on duty. it’s also been said that there were some previous altercations regarding right of way and the issue resurfaced during the confrontation. this man killed two people due to a personal vendetta.
there were many witnesses around, one of them being nuezca’s daughter, who was about 12 (i can’t find any news articles disclosing her age). his daughter just stood and watched as they argued, even going as far to say “my father is a police man!” to which sonya replied, “i don’t care!” sonya’s last statement angered nuezca brought the gun to her head and said “putangina, gusto mo tapusin kita ha?” (trans: “son of a bitch, do you want me to finish you?”) he then shot her and her son point blank, shooting the son twice and then shooting sonya once more after she had already hit the ground.
this all happened yesterday afternoon, sunday, december 20th, 2020, at 5:00 pm. jonel nuezca has since then turned himself and his pistol in to the police.
authorities have been claiming this shooting as an isolated case, when in fact, there have been many headlines regarding police officers shooting civilians.
videos of the shooting have been going viral on social media. i’ve seen the video for myself, and it’s messed up how you can see that nuezca barely even FLINCHES when he brings his gun up to sonya’s head. and the fact that he did that when his daughter was right beside him and there were so many witnesses is even more messed up. it’s reported that he said “mission accomplished,” to his daughter after he shot them.
now, if nuezca could shoot these people in broad daylight with witnesses and in front of his own daughter, imagine what he could’ve done at night, with no one around. imagine all the deaths that have been unrecorded because there was no one around.
i know other people will be able to say more and say it better, because i really still can’t wrap my head around this. most people say he shot them because they were lighting fireworks, but clearly he shot them because he knew he could abuse his power. he knew he could do it because police and military officers often get praised by the president for doing things like this.
i honestly can’t say much of my own opinions at the moment because i’m still in a state of shock, but i just wanted to post this on here because i want people to be aware of this. so many countries have been suffering because of police brutality, and it’s so unfortunate that these kind of instances often get shooed under the rug because people want to continue living in their picture perfect world where people don’t get killed and people don’t abuse their power. it’s heartbreaking to see this people die at the hands of these so-called authoritative figures.
i’m not saying what the gregorios did was right. if i’m not wrong, it’s illegal to light fireworks in your barangay/district without authority (but i could be wrong so please don’t quote me on that). still, nuezca shouldn’t have shot them.
what happened is absolutely sickening, and it could still be happening right now as i’m typing this. somewhere out there another person is being punished by an authoritative figure for doing essentially nothing. i just hope that more light would be shed onto these kind of cases, and not shooed under the rug two days after it happened.
may the souls of sonya gregorio and frank anthony gregorio rest in peace, and condolences to their family.
at least 19 children and 2 teachers have been victims of this shooting :( i will never wrap my head around how sick and cruel a human can be to take the lives of elementary school children
and the worst part is is that all these officials are just gonna give us “moments of silence” and “condolences.” if it’s so easy for you to ban abortion because it “kills babies” then why doesn’t that apply to the 27 school shootings this year that have taken 140+ lives. why does this country prioritize gun rights more than the lives of our children :/ how many times will we have to scream for gun control for our lawmakers to take action
NON BLACKS DONT INTERACT hmm ok so I wanna say something: i was kinda waiting for the crowd of people who still don’t believe Megan thee Stallion when she said Tory Lanez shot her to use the Depp/Heard verdict to make jabs at her and well….
and for another black woman to say that too….ick
i’ve seen many say the verdict is going to do good for male victims of abuse but I’m not so sure we should readily trust that this verdict will be championed correctly and I think all of us are gonna have to contend with the knowledge that whether you support the verdict or not, in instances and at some point going forward it will be used in the wrong way and what we are going to do about that when it does
I kind of feel like if you don’t know what “the R rule” of hunting squirrels is, you shouldn’t presume to know what subsistence hunters in American need or whether “take all guns away” is going to do something other than starve people.
(No one needs an AR-15 to hunt squirrels, that is not what I am saying, but for fuck’s sake I am so tired of listening to people who have never lived in rural areas, eaten squirrels and venison, or even had friendswho hunted for food and would have starved without hunting – not even having hunted for their own food, just known people who did – talk about how ‘no one needs guns really, not even to hunt’. Last night I was thinking about that while talking to my wife, that this may just be another thing where I assume that people know that a lot of people in the US are subsistence hunters, a lot more than you think.)
I know it was a big meme but the “20-30 feral hogs” thing is a legitimate concern in some areas, I think especially in Texas. And every firearms law that’s ever been introduced in the US has disarmed or criminalized the poor and the marginalized, largely leaving shitstains unaffected. It’s not as straightforward a debate as “guns bad, ban them” OR “guns good, everyone should have a rifle.” The non-solution to firearms violence of perpetual inaction has to end but part of the reason for the perpetual inaction is that we and our politicians cannot agree on a solution, plus many of our politicians are basically employees of arms manufacturers.
It’s complicated. I’m saying this as someone who tags many of my posts with “arm the poor.” Something has to be done. It never should’ve been allowed to reach such a point. I don’t know what, though.
Oh no it definitely is. I grew up in an area where I had to learn how to deal with the possibility that I would run into bears, mountain lions, coyotes and other wild animals. Feral hogs, not so much, but I grew up in Rural PA.
I don’t really think that private citizens (or anyone, frankly) needs the level of hardware that we have now, but whatever the case is on the high end, the fact of the matter is that a lot more people than the average person thinks does in fact need grandpappy’s bolt action to eat, and saying otherwise is just telling poor people to starve.
Since I forgot to put it in the original post because I was so testy, the “R rule” for hunting squirrels is that you don’t hunt or eat squirrels taken in any month that doesn’t have an R in the name, because squirrels have more pests in them during the summer and you are more likely to make yourself sick.
So it’s okay to hunt and eat squirrels during January, February, March, April, September, October, November, December, but not May, June, July, or August.
13 were shot. Ten are dead and three have non fatal wounds. The white supremacists who commit these atrocities are always radicalized online now, but everyone and their mother will pretend like this was an isolated event that has no bearing on the prevalence of white supremacy in society and no connection to online radicalization.
Even the way people are radicalized is approached in an extreme way that I’m convinced is meant to purposely frustrate any attempts to do something about white radicalization online. Everyone thinks a white kid just suddenly dives into these mysterious white supremacist circles and comes out a little bit later willing to murder Black people because of the color of our skin.
It starts with All those 4chan sites and subreddits and that do that “”“ironic evil”“”, all those jokes from edgelords where apparently it’s okay to dehumanize Black and Jewish people as long as they’re being “”“ironic”“” about it. Entire TV shows where Black people and Jews’ pain is just a punchline or a gag. These people are desensitized to everything we’ve suffered through and the real kicker is that lots of y'all on here or twitter or Facebook or fucking Pinterest refuse to just admit that the edgelord humor, the “”“ironic”“” shit, all lead to white supremacist enclaves online where white boys are then exposed to shit like the great replacement and incited to act violently because they believe that Black people Jewish people immigrants and everyone who dares not to be white and Christian is coming to steal their land steal their babies and murder them in their beds.
Because the amount of planning and foresight it takes to attack and murder Black people who live hours away from you is something that’s created online. It starts with the dehumanization of Black people for shits and giggles. He attacked Black people in a grocery store in a food desert, knowing that the long term effects wouldn’t just be the the deaths of those community members, but also the fear of Black people across the country to even get out of our fucking homes. I’m seeing Black mutuals on here talking about how they don’t want to leave their homes until things die down. We’re going to try and create nets of solidarity and those attempts are going to be frustrated any number of ways and the shooter knows this because he spent probably a third of his life just going through online treasure troves describing all the ways he could make Black people suffer.
And the worst part is that with the sheer complexity and efficiency of the surveillance state, none of those eyes will be on those white supremacist safe havens. They’ll fucking be on Black people regardless of what we’re saying, regardless of whether what we’re trying to do is politically motivated or not. We’re the ones who are silenced and shut down and ignored and actively censored in favor of upholding white supremacy in all its forms. Remember when Black bloggers on here were accused of being Russian spies and had their accounts deactivated, but neo Nazis on this site were and still are able to exist with no problem? Are any of you aware of the sheer number of times a Black blogger is deactivated on this site alone for not being nice in how they talk about racism, but the white supremacists who harass and stalk them are allowed to have as many victims as they want? It’s like this on all social media. Twitter, Facebook, probably even fucking Pinterest. It’s not difficult to trace or find where white boys go to become raging terrorists but all the energy by the corporations and the state and normal fucking people online is dedicated to silencing Black people in any way possible.
Kolivan was the last person the paladins excepted to see walking through the door to the control room. They all noted the sad, glum expression that was plastered on his face. It was no secret that the paladins thought he was cold and emotionless but it was clear to them now he was just very good at hiding his feelings.
He looked up at the paladins showing a solitary tear rolling down his purple fur cheek. Kolivan explained that the mission Keith was on with two other blades had gone horribly wrong, that’s when four galra walked in with Keith’s body laid on a stretcher. Keith was pale, paler than normal and his chest was still. All of a sudden it hit the paladins that Keith was dead.
Shiro was the first to react, he fell to his knees and sobbed loudly. It didn’t take long for the rest of the team to join him as he sobbed. Kolivan and the other blades gave their condolences and left quietly.
A flare of purple light collected in the room around Keith’s body. The paladins all looked up to see Keith’s ghost standing looking at them. Keith saw the pain in his friends eyes and told them that he was alright and he would always be with them. That wasn’t why he returned as a ghost however, Keith explained that Olnik was a traitor that he had set them up. Princess allura was the first to speak up after Keith had finished, she asked how Keith had died.
Keith- Close your eyes, I’ll show you.
—————- Flashback ———————
Keith, Regris and Olnik where searching a galra base when a large group of galran soldiers emerged.
Olnik- I’m sorry it has to end like this.
The galra shot at both Keith and Regris. It was no secret that Keith and Regris were in a relationship, they both loved the other more than life itself. It took more shots to seriously injure Regris but he managed to crawl over to where Keith was laid Dying. Regris pulled the smaller male into his arms and spoke sweetly to him.
Regris- I love you Keith…
Keith- I … I .. lo.. love you t..too
Regris kissed Keith on the forehead just as Keith’s chest stilled and his eyes dropped closed. The memory fades into complete darkness.
—————- End of flashback ———————
The paladins slowly opened their eyes one by one, each with floods of tears dripping off their faces.
Keith’s ghost smiled and walked over to lance slowly.
Keith- Take care of Shiro for me will ya ?
Lance-Always Keith, always.
With that Keith said his final good bye and I love you all before heading towards a larger male figure that was soon to be shown, Keith’s father.
Keith’s father- Are you ready son ?
Keith- Yeah dad.
With the blink of an eye Keith’s ghost had disappeared into the purple light that rippled behind where his dad was stood. Keith was gone and none of the paladins quite new how to deal with the loss…
The famous Palestinian-American journalist Shireen Abu Akleh, who was working for Al Jazeera and exposing Israel’s various crimes for the past 25 years has been shot in the head today by an Israeli sniper while wearing a press vest and a helmet (videos online literally shows her headless body being dragged moments after being shot and her press vest is clear as the day) while she was cowering on the ground and repeatedly screaming “press!” during her coverage of Israeli forces raiding a refugee camp in the Palestinian city of Jenin where at least one unarmed Palestinian civilian was killed.
Another Al Jazeera journalist, Ali Samoudi, was also shot by a live bullet, but he’s in a stable condition. (source:X)
Israel regularly kills, kidnap, torture and brutalize journalists from all nationalities that document their crimes in occupied Palestine and per the norm, American/western media such as the New York Times are reporting on this literal war crime as “clashes,” even though some of them had their own journalists killed and their offices bombed in the past by Israel.
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Palestinians made a document that contains templates for letters to US, UK, & Canadian politicians, media outlets, and companies in relation to current events in Palestine as well as petitions & other resources. If you live in any of these countries then please select a template, edit it to your preference and send according to the instructions on the relevant page.
