i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths
A few months ago, I thought to myself “Mmm I’m so tired… how much longer in this one again?” and I knew instinctively what I meant by ‘this one’ was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identity/existential crisis like how many times have I been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me.
In July 2017, one night I woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice “the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes” and I don’t know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds.
i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved
One time I passed out on the couch after going a few days without sleep, and when I woke up mom said I had been speaking in German in my sleep, and it sounded like I was ordering people to build something
When I was like 5 my mom took me to the grave of her friend that died of cancer and I asked what happened and my mom explained that she died and i fucking said “I died once” and my mom asked me to explain and I went into pretty detailed explanation about how I died in a war because “I got stabbed by a gun with a knife at the end” (my exact words) and I met god and she (she’s a woman obvs) asked if I wanted to stay or go back to earth and I said I wanted to go back so I chose my mom cause she was struggling to have a baby (she had me through IVF) and lemme tell you that changed her like nothing will make you second guess your religious beliefs like a five year old explaining heaven and god to you
this post is a fucking ride and it reminded me of something i forgot
one time i was playing on my wii (like 5-ish years ago) and i thought to myself “i haven’t checked on rowan in a week, has he died from the plague? :(“ and i didn’t think anything of it for a bit until later when i had a “what the fuck” moment
I love this kind of shit because it happens to me all the goddamn time. Like:
-The other night I rolled over in the middle of the night to shake my partner awake, proceeded to tell him how I was glad that ‘this time round we would truly have the freedom to love each other properly’ and how his hands belonged to his last self, but his eyes had never changed in all the lives I’d known him. And he just laid there in the dark like wtf because I was asleep. Like I’d woken him to tell him that all in my sleep and then left him to have a crisis.
- Watching the history channel with my Pop on the couch, tender age of 7, and they’re talking about crucifixion. And my pop, ever the funny man, is like “that looks like it aughta hurt”. And I just turn to look at him and without hesitation reply “only at first”. And he’s like “what do you mean” and tiny me just shrugged and said “well there’s a place beyond the hurt where everything just stops” and he turned the telly off and left the room.
- night before Christmas 2012, dreamt I’d been stabbed in the lungs by an angel with the face of a falcon. He looked at me and told me he had to do it, so that ‘my next breath would come as a rebirth’. When he started to glow so brightly that it burned my eyes, I woke up to all the lights in my house on and a dark bruise beneath my rib cage. Will admit, that one freaked me out.
- walked past a graveyard with a friend back in middle school on the way to her house, and mid conversation I stopped talking and stood stock still, looked over at the walls,and quietly said “I have a friend in there”. Then picked up the conversation and continued strolling like nothing had happened. To be fair, I didn’t realise what I’d said. She still tells me I’m the reason she can’t walk past that graveyard anymore.
- a couple of years ago when I was in Wales I walked past an old stone house just outside of Aberystwyth, and just started to weep. I had the overwhelming thought that I needed to be in there to get dinner ready for the children, but in a different life so long ago and so impossible to reach, that thefeeling of loss was instant and overwhelming.
- was about to use a pedestrian crossing, when my whole body just sort of went hey don’t do that, and so I stopped and put my arm out to stop the woman who was crossing behind me, and 2 seconds later a car came skidding around the corner and crashed into the tree on the other side of the crossing, and I just whispered “ha, not this time” and didn’t really think about it until later when I realised I’d nearly died again. (Btw i waited for th ambulance to show up and the dude driving the car was fine, just hit his head and was drunk af at 10:30am on a Thursday).
- another dream I had just this week, I was sitting in an otherwise empty cinema with a tall, thin man. I can’t really recall what he looked like, except he was well dressed, impossibly pale, and he kind of blurred when you looked directly at him, so I mainly watched him out the corner of my eye and looked ahead at the blank movie screen. He was holding my hand, and he asked me if i enjoyed my life. I said yes and explained why. He then said, almost verbatim, “And how does this one weigh against the last? Can it tip the scales, or is it, at last, to be found lacking?” And I replied, almost verbatim “I weigh my lives against my joy, and each life I find there is more joy to be discovered.” He replied with a laugh, lifted my hand to a kiss and said “till next time then” and disappeared. I woke up in the dark with both my cats sitting on me, alert, and staring out my bedroom door.
So many more, but these are the first that come to mind.
When I was little, my mother, my sister and I would dream in unison so often that one time when my mother was having a rather dull dream about golf my tiny 3 year old self shook her awake and told her to stop because it was boring. She dreaded having nightmares because both of us would wake up shrieking.
My sister and I have also been known to argue in our sleep. Witnesses assure us that whatever made the shouting start, we both knew what it was and were mad about it. We don’t need to be in the same room for this.
We also stayed in a haunted house for a while. An old lady had fallen in the chilly hallway just outside the warm kitchen, broken her hip, and couldn’t reach high enough to open the door, so she died of hypothermia a foot away from a telephone and warmth. Without fail, every person who stood in that spot and tried to open that door - the single most used door in the house, being between the kitchen and the bathroom and front door - felt cold and found themselves scrabbling frantically at the door handle, which was always strangely hard to open from that side. You got used to it to an extent, but it always hit strangers hard.
Ok I just have to add my own experiences on here so I’m chronological order…
I’ve always had déjà-vu, it’s always super real and I always try to do something weird to “snap out of it”, but sometimes it “predicts” the weird thing too.
When I was 8-9 ish, I had the really vivid dream. I was tired and groggy, my mom and I were at a stake n shake (a very sentimental place to me), we were sitting in a booth and in a booth across from us there were like 10 people all crammed into one. They were having a good time and not harming anyone so I didn’t care. We were waiting for the food to arrive when my moms phone rang, when she picked it up she said “hey…. oh my gosh” (or something along those lines). She kept talking and hung up the phone, she then looked at me and said “papa died”. It was a weird dream and I kinda brushed it off as one of my “acid trip dreams” (where everything’s really weird but makes complete sense at the same time). A year or so later, there we were, at that state n shake, and my mom got the call. But this time I knew what was happening so I was already crying by the time she hung up the phone and she looked at me and I just asked “papa?” And she nodded. I was crying obviously, I was a kid who just lost a grandfather, and the group looked at us and just became very sad all of the sudden.
Next, in 5th grade, it was really late (or early) and I was trying to go to sleep, but I had this feeling that something was WRONG. So I stayed up pacing my room until I heard my dad slamming open the door to his room and going into the living room (he went out sometimes to watch news in there but he was always trying not to wake my mom). And I had the feeling like “ok it’s over now” and went to sleep. The next morning I found out that my grandpa had fallen, hit his head, and fell into a coma where he died a week later.
In 8th grade I was sitting awake one night, reading my book (Simon vs the homosapiens agenda, 10/10 would reccomend) and I got this string feeling that I was gonna die the next day. Like I was freaking out, writing a makeshift will, whatever when I texted one of my friends and told her. She responded “oh yeah, this dude threatened to shoot yo the school tomorrow”. I had not heard of this before then but I said to myself that I was gonna finish the book before I die no matter what… so I did. There was not a shooting the next day but a bunch of people left early and my only thought was “I have to stay to protect my friend”.
These are more recent and a lot less weird. So at the beginning of the pandemic (February ish, there weren’t any cases in my state), I was going to this church event/concert. While I was there waiting, the crowd began to gather so I just kinda noped out and went to the bathroom and started having a panic attack. The next day I felt sick, like REALLY sick. And I was sick for ~2 weeks, coughing, not being able to breathe, runny nose and congestion like you wouldn’t belive. Later my doctors said i most likely had COVID and my mom said God was trying to keep me from infecting more people. Lastly, I was at another church event (again, what is it with me and church events?) and I was hit in the head really hard during a game. I felt woozy and my head hurt a lot so I sat down for a bit and went home early. The next day we had a lake retreat for a day and all the boa ta we were gonna use for tubing either fell through or broke the day of. They said it was the first time in 20 years anything like this happened. So I didn’t go tubing, which is a shame cause I love it but when I do I go HARD, like I have a death wish levels. (I actually got a concussion from it one time and a girl that went to the lake a few days before us had also gotten a concussion from tubing…) the next day I started feeling foggy and my head hurt with light and stuff so I realized I had a concussion but my only thought was “God made it so the boat wouldn’t work so I wouldn’t be dumb and get hurt worse”.
Don’t worry I’m not dead just lazy. So I apologize to my newer followers who haven’t been getting anything.
The thing is, so much has been going on.
My mom works in a nursing home that has been crawling with COVID. Thursday, we found out she tested positive. It was inevitable but it still had us shook because she doesn’t have any symptoms.
Yesterday, me and my aunt (because we both live with my mom) had to get tested. Thankfully, we came up negative but we had to come live with my grandma for two weeks & quarantine.
It’s been rough. I miss my mom and I can’t go to work.
So bear with me. I’m stressed, worried, and everything else. I’ll try to post new memes if I get any ideas.
Bi-solation is a mini-sequel to 2019’s Happy Bi Day short film! This video shows what Lana and Mišo have been up to during the 2020 disaster! Please do not take any advice regarding quarantine from either of them!
Bi-zolacija je mini nadaljevanje kratkega filma Happy Bi Day (2019)! Kako se Lana in Mišo spopadata s trenutno katastrofo? (Nikar ne posnemajte njunega pristopa glede karantene!)
Well… I spent the month dealing with a family member hospitalized with COVID. Other family friends to include some with high-risk conditions also sick with COVID and which would require airlifting to better facilities if they took a turn for the worse. And talking to overworked nurses and other healthcare professionals. All in the midst of messages of emerging from the pandemic and restrictions ending and repetition of egregious lies. Which just again leaves me questioning what stream of reality I’m in at this point.
So maybe it is no wonder past me preordered another danmei novel, this one a post-apocalyptic sci-fi. But really, Little Mushroom by Shisi just had me at the words human doppelganger sentient little mushroom. And Peach Flower House plans on the second (and finale) volume to be out in August 2022.
Expect me to write about some stories involving plants and nature next month btw. April is also the start of another reading challenge #TranslatedLitChallenge. Go read the world. (I’m working on it.)
welcome to rawrmeansmemes ( pls don’t @ me about this url. It’s my brand now but it’s also the stupidest url I’ve ever created ). This blog was created in 2017 and has been active on and off over the years. I am always accepting requests for memes based on shows/movies/songs etc. But also prompts for original based memes. I reserve the right to turn down and/or delete anything that I am uncomfortable with being made into a meme and I absolutely will not make memes based on COV/ID. this is also a sideblog and i literally cannot follow you back, i am sorry :(
If my sibling gives me covid again I’m going to defenestrate myself. I have an event that I’ve been looking forward to for months and if I have to miss it I will be so upset.
New strain of covid coming around Australia and my state (QLD) recorded 9 new cases so we are going into lockdown! Australia day celebrations are coming up soon as well as school starting back up, 2021 might just be 2020 round 2. Ugh.
hi friends sorry i haven’t been on here much recently!!
cw - abuse mention, covid mention
earlier this year i lost my job because of covid (that i loved and took me over a year to get) as well as my housing. moving back in with my emotionally abusive mother has been the most difficult part of quarantine and unemployment took 7 months to give me any money, which is still not enough to move out.
yesterday my boyfriend lost his job as well, one that he moved across the country for, so this week has been especially rough.
my mom has denied my ability to go to therapy in any way even though i experience extreme trauma because of her that affects my daily life, and now she is trying to prevent me from getting covid tested before going to my boyfriend’s house next week for our anniversary. because of these things and much more, both my mental and physical health are constantly in danger.
this post is not to fish for sympathy but rather to provide some insight as to why i’ve been absent. i hope you all are staying as safe as you can and doing as well as possible. please know you can always reach out if you ever need anything.
“uquiz” this “tag yourself” that. ask yourself the important questions. who did you personally tell when you got vaccinated / when you will get vaccinated
in The Forgotten City you can talk to a roman soldier who tells you “I hate feeling like my survival depends on the common sense of other people” to which one of your optional responses is “Yeah, I get it, I’ve lived through a pandemic.” and whoof.
I have my nitpicks about the game (which I can’t really discuss because spoilers), but it has a ton of great lines and I enjoy how the characters have a lot more depth than you’d typically expect from a video game’s supporting cast.
Many places are removing masking requirements. And I’m here to ask, if you are young and able-bodied, please keep wearing a mask anyways. We’ve known for two years that masks protect othersmore than they protect yourself, and that masks work when most people are wearing them. If only at-risk individuals are masking, they’re moreat risk.
Protect others. Help disabled people exist safely in public. Wear a mask.
It’s 3am and I got my C*v*d booster yesterday at like 10. Feeling really sick rn and probably won’t make it to work later, but it’s better than missing work for two weeks, getting residents sick, and fighting the effects for months afterwards.
Trying to convince myself to get up so I can buy some Sprite :/
If you vacationed in Hawai’i durning this pandemic. Fuck you. Fuck you, I fucking hate you. I hate you.
My people have been hanging on by a fucking thread for generations. We have been struggling and dying and suffering and our culture has been commercialized and ignored and we have been stripped bare by you people. It’s a slow and brutal and exhausting death. It’s torment and it’s struggle and we are clawing our way to the surface. Clawing.
And in the middle of a deadly pandemic, you have all decided that the price of “paradise” is my peoples lives. And you have decided that your vacation more important than our lives. You have decided that your vacation is more important than our culture.
And while so many of my people are sick or dying at home you travel to hotels and beaches and party on sacred and stolen land. You pour money into an industry that commercializes and maims my culture and you bring diseases that kill my people.
Both my parents have tested positive for Covid and are incredibly sick.
They got sick before we had time to stock up on food, and we’re currently running out of enough food to feed all three of us. I’m mostly giving it to them because they need to get better above all else, but it will surely run out soon.
I don’t know what to do besides reach out at this moment, so any support or words of wisdom that anyone can provide would be immensely appreciated.
Both my parents have tested positive for Covid and are incredibly sick.
They got sick before we had time to stock up on food, and we’re currently running out of enough food to feed all three of us. I’m mostly giving it to them because they need to get better above all else, but it will surely run out soon.
I don’t know what to do besides reach out at this moment, so any support or words of wisdom that anyone can provide would be immensely appreciated.
‘being one of the only people in your entire area actually still taking the pandemic very seriously and following safety measures while every single person around you rapidly decides they completely no longer give a shit’ moodboard
I don’t recommend anyone getting covid. My fever is gone (had a 101 one for almost 3 days)and thank god never really got even a cough unlike the rest of my family. But my body still is so weak and all I want to do is sleep. Doubt I could even go to work if I could. And omicron messes mostly with your upper respiratory so my nose has been stuffed up for almost 4 days my head feels so stuffed up. lol I feel if I wasn’t vaccinated I still be out.
