#simon oliver snow
Simon, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.
Simon: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
Simon: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
Simon: I choose to waive that right!
Simon: *Screaming*
Simon: *petting a dog* Aww you’re adorable and so cute and beautif-
Baz: Are you cheating on me?
Simon: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off ‘excessive crying’ on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.
Penny to Simon: I love you when you try to seem normal. <3