#lgbt book
I think when I finally write my book, every character is gonna have some plain, white sounding name because I know for a fact that if it blows up some trans man or young queer is going to emotionally attach themselves to one of them and name themselves after them and I cannot be held responsible for bringing another Elliot, Oliver, or Kai into this world. This story is about Kyle and his best friend Seth saving the world from some guy named Robert.
Alex: When’s your birthday?
Henry: March 12th
Alex: What year?
Henry *visibly confused*: …every year???
Simon, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.
Neil: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.
Henry: I tried to write ‘I’m a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.
Shepard: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.
Renee: I think my guardian angel drinks.
Alex after he just passed the bar, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??
Alex, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!
Kevin: Life keeps fucking me and I can’t remember the safeword.
Penny when they went to NowNext: I came out here to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now.
Simon: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
Alex: What’s the one thing I told you not to do?
Henry: Burn the house down.
Alex: And what did you do?
Henry: I made you dinner!
Alex:
Henry:
Henry, sighing: And burnt the house down.
Renee: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing knives at people.
Simon: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
Simon: I choose to waive that right!
Simon: *Screaming*
June: That awkward moment when you’re scrolling through someone’s old Instagram posts and you accidentally comment the entire Declaration of Independence.
Andrew at Sweetie’s: It’s a dinner rush and the restaurant’s full, but we want to be seated immediately.
Waitress: DONE AND DONE LET ME PULL THE TABLE OUT OF MY ASS—
Simon: Is that vodka?
Baz: Yeah.
Penny: Straight?
Baz: No, gay.
Penny: The vODKA NOT YOU!
June: Don’t tell your mother :)
Nora: Kiss one another :)
June: DIE FOR EACH OTHER—
Henry, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I’ll drink my sorrows away.
Penny: Tbh, I am an extremely chill person, as long as things go exactly the way I need and expect them to every day.
Nora: I need to dye my hair.
Alex: …
Nora: Or get a tattoo.
Alex: …
Nora: Or a piercing.
Alex: Why?
Nora: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown Gods.
Simon: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off ‘excessive crying’ on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.
Nicky: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth
Nora: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.
Penny to Simon: I love you when you try to seem normal. <3
Andrew during tfc: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.
Damn Kavinsky, I kinda miss you
I just read The Raven cycle and I caNT BELIEVE HE- WHY ALWAYS MY FAV WHYWHYWHY
Preview of my SnowBaz magnetic bookmarks that will be available on my Etsy soon ♥ I’ve re-read “Carry on” yesterday and I can’t wait till I get my hands on “Wayward Son” ! If you haven’t read this book - do it ! Now !
