#cowsawtwb
I can touch you less gently, but I won’t love you less kindly.
I have a brand. And that brand is “absolute bullshit”.
@caitybug is a creative force and I am but their vessel:
Mer-may-d deez nuts jokes right under the wire.
Don’t worry about, Simon. I’m sure he’s fine.
Roo and I collaborated finally my art and their words!
Some Penelopes
Simon, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.
Shepard: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.
Now that awtwb is out and we actually do know that Baz ages because he doesn’t drink human blood, I think it’s safe to wish a proper happy birthday to the best jean-wearer out there. ✨
Penny when they went to NowNext: I came out here to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now.
Simon: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
Simon: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
Simon: I choose to waive that right!
Simon: *Screaming*
Simon: Is that vodka?
Baz: Yeah.
Penny: Straight?
Baz: No, gay.
Penny: The vODKA NOT YOU!
Simon: *petting a dog* Aww you’re adorable and so cute and beautif-
Baz: Are you cheating on me?
Penny: Tbh, I am an extremely chill person, as long as things go exactly the way I need and expect them to every day.
Simon: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off ‘excessive crying’ on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.
Penny to Simon: I love you when you try to seem normal. <3