#source twitter
Luffy: Sanji, how much of this meatball is meat?
Sanji:90%.
Luffy: So it’s 10% balls?
Sanji:
felix, texting: chan, i accidentally spilled soup on the floor
felix: does the five second rule also apply to soup?
felix:
felix: please hurry its been three seconds already
hairstylist: how would you like your hair cut?
jeongin: preferably with scissors, but a sword would be badass
chan: people who sleep with their phone on silent or dnd really don’t give a fuck about anybody
minho: look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that’s between you and god
changbin:
changbin: how do you set your phone to dungeons and dragons
felix: i just discovered a neat trick! if you make brownies but don’t cut them, you can eat the whole slab and say you only ate one brownie!
[five minutes later]
felix, collapsing on the floor and groaning: do not do this
chan: stop saying “i wish i could” and start saying “i will!”
jisung: i will walk through fire!
chan:wait
jisung, running towards flames: I WILL WALK THROUGH FIRE!
chan: JISUNG STOP
felix: so basically, you say “wig” when someone says something super epic or cool
seungmin, writing on a flash card: oh, i see
[later that day]
hyunjin: i’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time…
hyunjin: i’m in love with you
seungmin:wig
chan: so… you into cars?
felix: yes it was a masterpiece of a film
chan: no i mean like are you a car person?
felix: i’m human
chan: how on EARTH did you guys get arrested?!
seungmin: i don’t know! we didn’t do anything wrong!
jeongin: when the police pulled us over, he asked “papers?” and seungmin replied with “scissors” and drove off
seungmin: YOU SNITCH
minho: so how’s the most beautiful person in the world doing?
jisung: i don’t know, how are—
hyunjin, from the other side of the room: seungmin’s doing great
felix: i’m immune to mean and hurtful things because chan says kind things to me every day and his love protects me
seungmin: i’m immune to mean and hurtful things because minho says mean and hurtful things to me every day so i’m prepared
minho: if being hot was a crime, i’d end up on an electric chair
chan: minho, what the fuck—
minho: what? too dark?
chan, walking in on 00 line making a summoning circle on the living room floor: …what are you guys doing?
felix: oh you told us to satanize the house
chan: i said SANITIZE
seungmin: love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed
jisung: but aren’t you literally wrapping a monthly anniversary present for hyunjin right now
seungmin, pointing his glue gun at jisung: you’re on thin fucking ice
Yelena: Cat logic is so simple yet so effective. Don’t like something? Smack it as far away from you as possible. Flawless reasoning.
Emerie: If I’m going on a date, I think regardless of gender, the other person should pay. This is rooted in the fact that I don’t want to pay.
Azawia: can we talk about the email you sent the entire school?
Bakugou: it was a critical update
Aizawa: it just says ‘I’m back on my bullshit’
Bakugou: people need to know
Mic: welcome to salsa class! Who’s ready to learn how to dance?
Kaminari, hiding a tortilla chips bag: there’s been a misunderstanding
…yay
