In honor of the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, we did the impossible and summed up 95 characters in one sentence each, creating the greatest masterpiece of the 21st century.Click here to see it, and then take a few minutes to thank the universe for giving us the brilliant J.K. Rowling, who changed all our lives with her beautiful, hilarious, heartbreaking, magical books.
If Pride and Prejudice took place in 2018, there would be markedly less garden-walking, an equal amount of upper-class snobbery, and 100% more texting.
You think there’s even a CHANCE Darcy wouldn’t be lurking near the snack table at the Netherfield ball pretending to text because he’s too awkward to talk to people?! Please. Here’s how the men and women of Meryton would have fared with the boon of twenty-first century technology.
DISCLAIMER: These cards—created by the spectacular @lilabeanz—are imbued with VERY powerful magic. Give one to your crush, and you just might get a date. Give ALL OF THEM to your crush, and you just might end up getting married, having 3 kids, and giving one of those kids what is indisputably the worst name of all time (it was a real missed opportunity, is all we’re saying). And with that warning out of the way, get out there and fall in love, you nerds! <3
From honorary Auror/muggle dreamboat @roonil-freakin-wazlib comes yet another masterpiece: IF HOGWARTS HAD THE INTERNET. We’ll let her explain:
Look, if I had to, I’m sure I could forgo the Internet in favor of wizardry. Twitter doesn’t hold a single bewitched floating candle to LITERALLY CHANGING A TURTLE INTO A TEACUP WITH MAGIC. But what if I didn’t have to forgo anything? What if I could have both Hogwarts AND the Internet? What would that even look like? Probably a little something like THIS.
If you’re ever called upon to explain the Harry Potter books to some dunderhead who has never read them, you can simply widen your eyes and flail your arms around a lot in a way that hopefully conveys what the series means to you and to millions of readers around the world.
so we haven’t actually written the horoscopes that go along with these STUNNING AF illos by the fabulous @hazeymaseyet, but WE JUST COULDN’T KEEP THEM TO OURSELVES ANY LONGER. are they not LITERALLY the most gorgeous masterpieces you’ve ever seen?! RHETORICAL QUESTION. THEY ABSOLUTELY ARE.
yeah but what are they selling though? their free website w minimal ads that helps to make classic literature more accessible?? their books with modern English translations of that classic literature next to the original text that make such literature even more accessible??? god forbid!!!
