thaliasthunder:

achilles every time ppl offered him girl servants to spend the night with in phthia:

Iliad init

Patroclus, at Achilles’ funeral: Can i have a moment alone with him?

Odysseus: Of course *leaves*

Patroclus, leaning over Achilles’ coffin: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.

Achilles: Yeah no shit

Patroclus: *completely serious* I have to get something off my chest…

Achilles:is it your shirt?? I hope its your shirt please

Patroclus: Just to be sure, are you asking me romantically or platonically?

Achilles, down on one knee, ring still out: You did not just fucking ask me that-

Odysseus:are you a cuddler?

Achilles: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION-

Patroclus: yeah he’s a cuddler.

Patroclus: please promise me you won’t die in battle. I’m scared.

Achilles: death?the onlythings that aredeadare my coremusclesbecause I’m alwayson myGRINDChiron 4:13

the song of achilles: basically

patroclus: oh no he’s hot

achilles: omg mom you’re embarrassing me get out of my room it isNT A PHASE

thetis: [homophobic hissing]

chiron: i ship it

odysseus: pff dude same

Patroclus: you know, Penelope gives Odysseus flowers everyday. I wish you’d do that too

Achilles:okay

*the next day*

Achilles: *gives Odysseus flowers*

Odysseus:??????

Achilles: I don’t know. I’m confused aswell

Patroclus: hey what do you want for dinner tonight?

Achilles: your dick

Achilles: *pick sorry autocorrect sucks

Patroclus:

Patroclus:

Achilles:

Patroclus: Achilles this is a verbal conversation

*Patroclus and Achilles sleeping together in Pelion*

Achilles: night night, sleep tight, don’t let the fury outside the cave drag you down to Tartarus

Patroclus: thaT DOESN’T EVEN RHYME-

Omg i just relised we hit 200 followers and, uhhh, were currently at 260!! So heres a random art dump/shit post to celebrate a late 200/early 300! :D

Love all 260 of you patrochilles trash<33

HEYY super cool, fun, exiting, super, mega cool news: I’m writing a book!! (Ok fine its a fanfic mais tu n'es pas amusant alors c'est nul)

My name on Wattpad is @Hcrmcs and I dont have AO3

Translation: Mon nom sur Wattpad est @Hcrmcs et je n'ai pas AO3

—————————————————————————

It gonna be a patrochilles one (obvs) but I’m currently struggling to get a plot down for one where theyre already friends (imposter syndrome do be playin up rn aha) so if you have any tips, a dm would be EXTREMELY appreciated et je t'aimerais tellement, mwah mwah<33 ❤

Also, just started summer break so expect more cool content ✌

(I do speak French, it’s my og language btw lmao si vous pouvez lire ceci, alors je t'aime, dm moi s'il vous plaît belle personne. ❤

Mais si vous avez utilisé Google Translate, alors uuhh continue de me dm, vous êtes un sournois, sournois bâtard )

Patroclus: (texting) Anyways, I’ve gotta go, Love you.

Achilles: Yeah, me too. I have a wedding to go to soon, Love you more.

Patroclus: Achilles, it’s our wedding??

Achilles: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Achilles: Not you, Patroclus. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled to have you here.

Artemis: Yeah, dad, these are all just my friends. All of use decided that we hate men and are just going to hang out. Forever. Doing, you know, friend stuff. Hunting. Definitely no sex here. You need men for that.

Zeus: That checks out. Have fun, dear.

Hades: you can’t look back

Orpheus: I won’t

Orpheus:

Greek gods as B99 gifs part 2

Hera:

Zeus:

Poseidon:

Hestia:

Hades:

Bonus (I know some of these aren’t B99 quotes but still):

Iris:

Hypnos:

Or

The Greek gods as B99 quotes part 1

Athena:

Ares:

Apollo:

Hermes:

Or

Demeter:

Hephaestus:

Aphrodite:

Dionysus:

Artemis:

The Orcale in Ancient Greece when it foretold a prophecy: