These past few months have been nothing but stressful. I am just way too involved. I am a Resident Advisor, a part of 3 clubs (exec board member of one) and I work part time (just 8 hours) and intern on the side for fun.
Shoot me now.
Why did I sign up for all of this? What was the purpose of me taking on all this responsibility in my last year? Is it because I don’t like to say no due to social pressure? Was it for the money (I ain’t gettting paid for any of this)? The experience? I need some answers. Even I myself can’t answer.
And attending a small school, comes with its perks, but also with its advantages. You know everyone. And I mean everyone on campus. Maybe you don’t necessarily know people by their name, but you’ve seen them at least once roaming about. And with my school being in a rural area, there’s not a ton to do. There’s like a solid like 50-100ish students who are actively involved on campus but a lot of students also don’t seem to care or have other interests. Many drive home or get off campus for the weekend or go out to the 3 bars we have in the town.
On top of all of this, I am in the process of preparing for my post graduate plans. Lots of exciting things will happen in the next few months but it all depends on the outcome of the scholarships I will be applying for. Read here if you’re interested.
Just 79 days left so I need to get my shit done, do well and get out. The time is right. I need someone to like come and do the remainder of the work for me. Or just give me the damn degree already. I feel like with the experience I have, I am more than qualified. Just give it to me. Please? Is that too much to ask for? I am so over school and I need to just get away.
I can just taste April 29th. So far yet so close. People always say that once I get out of school, that I will miss it. Honey,honeyhoneyhoneeeey. You don’t know me. I’ve already had a taste of the real world.
I have lived away for school for the past 4 years
I’ve always lived in a different state every summer since my freshman year of college on my own paying rent, using insurance to get my yearly checkups, etc
I lived abroad on my own for a year
I feel like those experiences alone has prepared me for my next chapter. Not to say that I’ve seen it all, but I have seen enough to strengthen me for the next big move. Does it suck? Why yes, no doubt about that, but I am so ready to be out of here.
It’s actually because the motor is vibrating heavily. They vibrate when the electrical signal has harmonics making the signal muddy and unsmooth as it passes through the circuit. Those extra frequencies mess everything up.
When I was 14, I dated a 20 year old in a band and over the course of 6 years it’s ruined a lot of aspects of my life.
I broke up with him when I was 16, and tried to remain friends for years, but it never worked. I would try to hang out with him, but he was insistent about us continuing to sleep together, and no matter how many times I said no, I continued to give in. Over the years, he got increasingly weird about it. He would ask me to say that I was 14 while we were sleeping together, even though I was only 16 or 17 at the time. I suspected he was sleeping with the younger girls at his shows, because his band’s following is mostly 14 and 15 year old girls. But I had no idea what was really happening.
I’d gone to a lot of their shows, but it got harder to attend. Mutual friends were always there along with a crowd of underage girls, all singing along to songs about me. The younger crowd knew who I was, and hated me for “hurting” him. The older crowd who used to be friends with me blamed me for his affliction with younger girls, which is when I found out he was taking a lot of these underage girls home with him after his shows. He is 25 now, and still does this.
Everyone sings along, forgetting that I was a child. I was mentally, emotionally and legally too young to consent at any point in our relationship. And other adults who KNOW this is the case continue in their friendship with him, continue to show up to his shows and treated me like I was the problem for years. I have been blamed for making this man a pedophile.
I am now dating someone else, but a lot of those people are my current boyfriend’s friends and acquaintances. They now pretend they never treated me like that, like they don’t support the man who robbed me of my childhood and made me feel like my value relied on my age and my willingness to have sex.
My current boyfriend wonders why I don’t like being around his friends. The same people who are friends with a man who is (by all definitions of the law) a rapist and a pedophile. The same people who think I was the problem and not the victim.
I’m not normally very vocal about this, because when I tell people I’m told that I should have known better. I was a child. I’m still paying for my mistake and he’s still taking children home with no repercussions.
I know that it’s hard to think of your friends as pedophiles or rapists, but if you’re being told that’s the case or if you SEE it happening, don’t be silent. Don’t ignore it. Talk to your friends. Talk to the damn police.
***If you’re an underage girl in Cleveland, please avoid going to see Theta Waves. They have a decent local following and I can name a few too many teenage girls that their lead singer has preyed on. Be safe.***
