#so done

So, we “finished” Decade.

I put “finished” in air-quotes because after ages of nothing much actually seeming to get accomplishedand nothing ever being explainedandkilling off characters who I never really got to know but I object to them being killed on principle, and THEN YOU DID THAT TO KUUGA AKA THE ONLY GUY WITH A SOUL IN THE WHOLE SHOW I MEAN GOG DANG GUYS I DIDN’T EXPECT MUCH FROM YOU, HOW COULD YOU SCREW UP THISBADLY? I MEAN JUST,WHY.WHYYYY.

… After all that, they expect me to watch a MOVIE in order to get any kind of explanation of what’s going on or any closure?!No.No. Screw you, Decade. As much as I grew to love your complete soulless sociopath of a “hero”, as much as I liked Super Soul Kuuga and Senile Grandpaman… I am not tracking down a movie I didn’t think I’d need to download. If you couldn’t manage to explain something for once instead of just faffing about some more and pretending that being incomprehensible = deep, then no.

So we’re done. At least for now. Don’t get me wrong, on the whole, I’m still glad we watched Decade – we needed to see this trainwreck for ourselves. But I reaaaally got fed up somewhere just before the first Amazon ep, and I just can’t be bothered to watch a freaking movie. Maybe someday I’ll watch that movie. But not right now.

Right now, I need to go and start grabbing Den-O, because you know what Decade was really, really good at? Making me want to watch anything that wasn’t Decade! And really, if a story about flying trainsandimaginary monsters what doesn’t manage to be a great change of pace from Decade, then what WILL, I ask ye? … Probably a lot of other Kamen Riders too actually but eh I want trains okay

THE END

(screw you Decade, go learn how 2 pace storylines and how 2 explain yoself, mmkay)

Honestly, yes, I am a plant. I do reproduce asexually just like a plant. The reason asexuals get so defensive when you ask us that is because we’re hiding our secret identities. But the cat’s out of the bag.

These past few months have been nothing but stressful. I am just way too involved. I am a Resident Advisor, a part of 3 clubs (exec board member of one) and I work part time (just 8 hours) and intern on the side for fun.

Shoot me now.

Why did I sign up for all of this? What was the purpose of me taking on all this responsibility in my last year? Is it because I don’t like to say no due to social pressure? Was it for the money (I ain’t gettting paid for any of this)? The experience? I need some answers. Even I myself can’t answer.

And attending a small school, comes with its perks, but also with its advantages. You know everyone. And I mean everyone on campus. Maybe you don’t necessarily know people by their name, but you’ve seen them at least once roaming about. And with my school being in a rural area, there’s not a ton to do. There’s like a solid like 50-100ish students who are actively involved on campus but a lot of students also don’t seem to care or have other interests. Many drive home or get off campus for the weekend or go out to the 3 bars we have in the town.

On top of all of this, I am in the process of preparing for my post graduate plans. Lots of exciting things will happen in the next few months but it all depends on the outcome of the scholarships I will be applying for. Read here if you’re interested.

Just 79 days left so I need to get my shit done, do well and get out. The time is right. I need someone to like come and do the remainder of the work for me. Or just give me the damn degree already. I feel like with the experience I have, I am more than qualified. Just give it to me. Please? Is that too much to ask for? I am so over school and I need to just get away.

I can just taste April 29th. So far yet so close. People always say that once I get out of school, that I will miss it. Honey,honeyhoneyhoneeeey. You don’t know me. I’ve already had a taste of the real world.

1.  I have lived away for school for the past 4 years
   
2.  I’ve always lived in a different state every summer since my freshman year of college on my own paying rent, using insurance to get my yearly checkups, etc 
3. I lived abroad on my own for a year
   

I feel like those experiences alone has prepared me for my next chapter. Not to say that I’ve seen it all, but I have seen enough to strengthen me for the next big move. Does it suck? Why yes, no doubt about that, but I am so ready to be out of here.

So next year I’ll be graduating in April and I’ve already started preparing for what I’ll be doing right after. I’ve compiled a list of programs that I will be applying for and my summer plans will depend what additional things I have to do for these programs. Here it is below:

• Chinese Government Scholarship
• Taiwanese Government Scholarship
• EPIK Teaching Program
• Freeman Asia Scholarship? (not sure of legibility)
• Taiwan-United States Sister Relations Alliance Ambassador Summer Scholarship Program

I may push some additional applications but I am pretty set on what I already want to do. Pushing out more applications on things I don’t really have in mind would be counterproductive to my plan, but also it would be good for a backup if all else fails. But at the same time, when I want to do something, I set my mind to it and I make it happen no matter what. So I know it will work out…but it all depends and anything can happen. Either way, I hope that I hear good news from at least one of the programs and expect to be out of the country by August. My first choice out of them all is Taiwan for I want to continue studying Chinese, but I don’t want to study and/or live in China long term again (I have to think about it). But I am applying to the same Chinese Government Scholarship Program again nevertheless.

If you’re not familiar with what I am talking about here, read more about how to for free here.

Major difference between applying for the Taiwanese vs the Chinese Scholarship is that you have more leeway in choosing the time of the year and length you want to do in terms of the language programs when it comes to applying for the Taiwanese Government Program. You can specify but the scholarship committee will choose which one you’ll get based on your application. Also they give more money to the student to use at their expense. BUT in turn, students have to use a part of the scholarship money to pay for their tuition so technically they give you money for personal funds, tuition, AND to get an apartment. They don’t pay for it up front only because certain schools cost more and may require students to pay out of pocket (be on the lookout for that if you’re interested in applying) and it also gives more freedom for students to choose where they want to live.  

One other major thing to keep in mind (if anyone gets accepted and decides to go through with the program), Both the Taiwanese & Chinese government waits till a month after to give the scholarship stipend after you arrive meaning that you somehow have to have some kind of money to pay for everything in the meantime. And its not so bad! I saved like around $1000+ for my first month while in China and it lasted me up until I got my money so I couldn’t complain. You just have to make sure you set up all the necessary requirements to get your money in time.

What else happened in the kelly clarkson show??? This is all a mess now lol.

insurance lady: getting an appointment with us is so easy in 5 min you’re set

also insurance lady: i cannot get you an allergy appointment because even though you went to emergency room for allergy, i have no proof you need an allergy appointment

What’s the point…..if if you try and bleed and crawl your way through the day-to-day, for things to only pretend to get better and pull the rug out from under you and make the pain 10 times worse. You’re so angry at yourself for actually believing it could get better, for allowing yourself to believe and hope, only to be let down. When you know people are tired of hearing about your struggle and you wish to God that you could never have to talk about it again. When you see someone for the first time in a bit and they ask how you are and you want to tell them time has been kind but in reality it has been anything but. You put on the fake smile and say I’ve been good and you have to turn away because you’re afraid they’ll see the pain in your face as you lie. Whats the point of going on…..the pain never ends and you’re tired of being a burden….maybe it’s better if I just stop trying

wow did you know “you’re being bitchy” isn’t ok to say to your partner ?? since when does “bitchy” not just mean irritable

. [pls don’t read the tags if you get easily triggered]