for some reason, that’s the first thing that came into your mind to ask him when the both of you were dining out with your closest friends one fine evening.
blame it on the bit of alcohol that’s in your system, you’re tipsy and it made you become more straightforward than usual.
“i don’t get it,”
you mutter to yourself while suna rintarou lets his eyes stay on your face to look at your amusing expressions.
“you’re very boyfriend material. so why is it that you don’t have anyone you’re romantically involved with?”
as you mindlessly list down the good qualities you have seen in him in the many months of being his close friend, suna rubs his chin as he hums, thinking about his answer carefully. your stare went to his lips, unconsciously biting your bottom one and gulping. you’re feeling a bit thirsty.
“must be because the girl i like is quite oblivious about my affections for her.”
with widened eyes and a startled gasp, you egged him to carry on. you had no idea he was harbouring feelings for someone (which was ridiculous because you thought you were his friend and friends say these kind of things to each other right?).
so what if you were also eager to know who it was because you needed to find out who stole the heart of suna whom you’ve liked way before he had met you? you certainly wouldn’t pose any harm on the person. at the very least, you’d compare yourself to them every waking moment, throwing them secret glares whenever you have the chance to see them.
the man you were with chuckled softly and changed his position so his body would be facing you. he gives you yet another one of his intense gaze partnered with that lazy grin you’d come to love and made your breathing hitch.
“you would think she’d find it out quickly considering we’re close but i guess that’s just wishful thinking on my part.”
blinking several times, you had to process every word that he had just said as he was awaiting for your reply. he watches you open and close your mouth like a fish out of the water and controlled himself not to just pull you into him and make out with you,your friends be damned (he reasoned it was because he was slightly drunk that he was acting on impulse and having these thoughts)
you resisted the urge to scream and do something embarasssing in front of not only the guy you like but also in front of your friends and peers.
fanning yourself and breaking eye contact with him, you looked at your surroundings to see if anyone else was listening in on your conversation yet found no one. fortunately they were all too busy with partying.
you then stared back at him and dumbly pointed at yourself.
“are you talking about me?”
“hmmm…guess.”
you’re flushed, lightly intoxicated and it’s getting difficult for you to hide exactly how much you like this man in front of you. you never were much of a planner anyways, you’re more of a go with the flow kind of person.
“so umm i like you a lot, did you know that?”
he simply gives you a smile and leaned closer to you, cupping the back of your head and caressing your cheek adoringly.
“don’t you think it’s about time we both get romantically involved with someone?”
you could smell the cologne you’ve bought for him last time when he came closer.
suna could see you wearing the earrings he’d given you yesterday upon closer inspection.
you both admired each other as you sat completely still, afraid that whatever was happening right now is just some elaborate scam you’re mind conjured up. everything is unfolding so fast you can’t wrap your head around it.
the moment suna leaned more in your direction though with his nose brushing against yours, you forget all worries about the proper way this should’ve gone and cracked a toothy smile for him to see.
“we should do this whole confession thing again properly tomorrow.”
“whatever you want, (y/n).”
the last thing you saw before closing your eyes and feeling his lips work with yours was suna fondly gazing at you as if he had waited for this moment for a long time.
(you wouldn’t know until much later on that suna rintarou had been crushing on you longer than you have been crushing on him)
i wrote this quickly while i was sleep deprived haha
a/n: this is so so, so heavily unedited but i wanted to get the next chapter out for you guys…. even if it’s just a bit of fluffy filler. but whatever right! but yes, i think there will be a bit of a delay on the next chapter too just cuz of how life is lol but i hope you guys enjoy this!!
Three days had passed since your fateful meeting with Rintaro, and in those three days you hadn’t seen him once. You had only worked once as well, and it was a morning shift, wondering if that was why you never saw him. When you saw him last, you cursed yourself as you locked your apartment door, realizing you’d never given him your phone number, decreasing the odds that you’d ever see him again.
Yet, when you arrived for your first night shift in three days, Alex was there waiting for you, ready with interesting news.
“I think you have a stalker,” they said, with a bit of a dry laugh, trying not to freak you out. Raising your head to look at your coworker, you let them continue. “Some guy keeps coming in asking for you, I was kinda nervous it was Osamu related so I tried not to give that many details.”
“What did he look like?” You inquired, heart starting to skip a beat. If it wasn’t Rintaro, then you were in a lot of trouble.
Alex tapped their chin, recalling the details: “tall, taller than your ex. Light brown hair, it was styled a little oddly, very flowy you could say.” That must’ve been him. It was reassuring to know that he did want to see you again. Alex continued, “he had these piercing eyes y’know I don’t know how to describe them. He’s been coming every night and for what? Like the last three days, and every time I look at those eyes I get chills.”
You were practically too stunned to speak as Alex raised their eyebrow. “Should I, like, file a police report or something? Do you know this guy?”
“Yeah, I do.” You felt yourself getting stomach butterflies. “Well, not well at least– I only briefly met him but he’s a really good guy.”
“If you say so,” Alex chuckled lightly, “but maybe give him your phone number next time you see him, y’know so the two of you communicate normally.” It was almost as if they could read your mind, knowing that you were regretting not having done so earlier.
About half an hour passed and still no customers came in. Sometimes, on weekdays it was like this: a ghost town. Tapping your fingers against the counter top, you thought you were going to die of boredom with Alex reciprocating your feelings.
Listening to them groan about waiting to just close up early, you were about to agree when the bell chimed and someone walked in.
Following his similar patterns from the night before, your friend Rintaro standing there wearing a black overcoat, and an attire you could only sum up to Wall Street-esc while his hair was still as wild as the first night you met him.
The moment he looked up at you, you met his eyes and even though Alex had made it clear there was something off with his eyes, you couldn’t understand what they were talking about. His gaze was kind, and his lips slowly but surely tugged into a smile upon seeing you.
“Looks like Mr. Stalker is here,” Alex teasingly whispered into your ear. You nudged them playfully, leaning against the counter, widening your grin.
“Hey,” you breathed out.
“Hello.” Rintaro cleared his throat, “I’m glad to see you’re in today, I was looking for you since the last time we met.”
“Me too, I didn’t know when I’d see you again honestly,” you laughed, regretting the way you phrased it, not wanting to sound rude. “But I mean it’s okay, you’re here now.”
“I apologize, I didn’t mean to make you stressed.” But you quickly interrupted him, reminding him that it was alright.
“Can I get you anything? Maybe coffee or tea?” But Rintaro shook his head, insisting that he didn’t drink anything of the sort.
“I’ll have something sweet, though, whatever you recommend,” he said haphazardly looking at the display case of desserts. You nodded, mentioning you had just the thing.
Watching as Rintaro found a seat, running one pale hand over the other. He mindlessly stared out the window, waiting for you to bring him something. He hoped that you wouldn’t notice how nervous he felt.
The sound of a plate sliding against the table echoed through the empty cafe, catching the man’s attention as he looked at your beaming face. In front of him was a small slice of apple pie, the cinnamon smell filling the air between you.
“On the house,” you said smiling, eyes slowly trailing over to the empty chair in front of him.
“You can sit if you want,” Rintaro offered and you felt embarrassed that he caught you red handed. You explained that your shift was almost over, looking back to see Alex’s sign of approval as you made yourself comfortable.
“I was thinking about how stupid I was not asking you for your number,” you bring up, not wanting to directly ask for it, still feeling a little shy.
Shaking his head, Rintaro informed you, “it wouldn’t have been of any use, I don’t have a phone.” Taking a bit of the pie he hummed, not saying anything to follow up his previous statement. “This is really good, it’s been a while since I ate anything…. this sweet, of course.”
“Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a cellphone? Who our age doesn’t?” That question caught Rintaro by surprise, raising an eyebrow as he tried not to act suspicious, taking yet another fork-full of pie into his mouth.
He simply shrugged, trying to change the subject, “is your shift almost over?”
You looked at your watch about to say no, when Alex’s voice interjected. “She’s gonna leave early, I can manage the place on my own.” They winked at you, signaling that you should go with him.
“I’ve heard good things about a bar nearby, would you like to come with me? Maybe we can become better acquainted?”
“Sounds good.”
The bar was dimly lit and filled with a sad crowd, which was mostly middle aged men desperately not wanting to go home to their wives. Because of that there was a gloomy feeling but Rintaro surely made up for it, with a slight smile.
As the two of you ordered, asking all sorts of personal questions and if you knew any better, you would’ve thought it was a date. Sipping on the drink, you followed his inquiries with your own, asking Rintaro about his childhood. Although, his answers were always so cryptic.
“I haven’t really lived in one place long,” he explained.
“So you were a military kid, huh?” But Rintaro shook his head but as you looked at him in confusion he changed the motion into a nod.
“Something like that,” he said, changing his answer.
Drink after drink, you hadn’t realized how much you had until you looked at the clock and three hours had passed. Your legs felt wobbly, like you were about to fall over at any given moment, leaning your head against Rintaro. You were drunk, the first time in a while considering Osamu hated it when you went out to go clubbing with your friends.
“You should probably get home,” Rintaro pointed out as if it wasn’t obvious. He looked down at your pouting lips and droopy eyes, he had to take you home, he knew that but he couldn’t stop looking at you. Every time he blinked he could see your past life, in a similar position, his heart feeling a foreign swelling.
He paid for all your drinks without a second thought, putting his sturdy arm around your waist, letting you lean your weight onto him. He grunted, trying to get you to follow his steps but he realized that trying to get the attention of a drunk person was easier said than done. Yet, he knew your apartment was close enough that he would carry you if he needed to.
“This way,” he eased you gently and before he knew it, the two of you were outside your apartment building. Suna had to coax you to get your keys out and to punch in the apartment code which after a scary amount of failed attempts, you were finally let in.
“Tonight was so much fun,” your words were slurred as you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, smelling the expensive cologne he wore.
“I enjoyed it too, maybe we should do something similar but more formally, like as a date?” The last part of his statement was more of a whisper, scared that you were uncomfortable with getting into a relationship after just getting out of one. He also was praying that by tomorrow morning your memories of the night would be hazy and hard to remember.
“Yes, I want that,” you muttered, rubbing your eyes harshly, “I wanna go to bed,” you groaned. Rintaro nodded, promising that the two of you would be there as soon as the elevator rang, bringing the two of you to your destination.
“I just wanna sleep!” You exclaimed, trying to rip off your shirt. Your friends had always told you that you were a bit of a messy drunk but you never wanted to believe them. Nevertheless, you struggled to strip out of your clothes, not even bothering to acknowledge the fact that Rintaro was still inside your apartment.
Standing in the kitchen, you felt a hand on your back, reminding you that he was there. He suggested going into your bedroom and you hazily nodded, stumbling forward.
“May I help you with that?” Rintaro asked and you were in such a struggle, there was nothing else for you to do other than nod and accept his aid. He removed your shirt, leaving you in just a bra as you covered up.
“Okay now turn around.” You could feel the heat rising to your face, watching as he complied. You took out your pajama shirt, sliding off your bra before putting it on. “Okay you can look now.”
By then, you were wiggling out of your work pants, sitting down on the bed. You shivered as the cold air nipped your skin.
“You should get some rest,” he sat down next to you, seeing how cold you were, “perhaps underneath the bedding?”
“You talk so politely, y’know?” You drunkenly snickered, poking his thigh, “but I like it, I feel like an old timey princess.” Rintaro laughed softly, pulling back the duvet as you rolled yourself underneath the sheets.
“Well you deserve to be treated as such, no?” You only hummed with a content smile as just as Rintaro thought his work was done, he went to stand up, feeling you reach for his arm.
“No, don’t go yet, please stay.”
Rintaro looked at you, not knowing what to say, he saw the way your eyes became glossy and he couldn’t say no. This was his chance to be the shoulder you cried on, to bring you comfort that he couldn’t in your past life. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring until he heard your quiet whimper, taking his cold hand into your own.
“Of course,” he said in a soft tone, his voice hushed. Laying down next to you, he tried to take it slow so as to not shake you too much as his weight made the bed dipped.
“I just don’t wanna be alone tonight, y’know?” The man wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to explain yourself, he wouldn’t mind staying until you fell asleep but before he could interject, you finished your thought. “I’ve just been having nightmares all week,” you frowned, “I just wanted to feel safe.”
Few times in his life did Rintaro get the feeling he did then: you felt safe around him? Yet he didn’t ponder on it long, reeling himself back into the other thing you mentioned.
“Nightmares, what sort of nightmares?” His eyebrows furrowed.
“Mmm, I don’t know, there’s a big fire, and you’re there too.” Rintaro could hardly make out your words as you drifted into sleep. He knew it was memories of a past life, and he cursed himself that only the painful ones returned and plagued your sleep. He silently wished you’d see all the better ones.
He didn’t have a chance to answer, seeing as you had quickly fallen into slumber. He contemplated leaving, he needed to get back to his own place before the sun rose, surely you would come to understand.
As he stood up, he pressed a kiss against your forehead, seeing how innocent you lay there, unknowing of the life you had been born into. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered, but it was more like a prayer. He would give you the world if you wanted, even more, he would fight against the nature of his being and lasso the sun if you asked.
you two stepped into the cramped train, coming from the airport after a very long flight. though you both opted to take a taxi, the queue for the taxi was way worse than the waiting time for the cramped train.
“i‘m tired.” you mumble to your boyfriend, looking up at him with your eyes attempting to blink the sleep away.
“me too angel.” he whispers, bending down as he presses a kiss to your forehead.
with suna‘s right hand, he holds the luggage you both brought. it‘s a large black suitcase, and his back pack is on top of it, he holds it very securely. meanwhile his left is laid at the small of your back, kept there to hold you close, and to fend off predators.
“i feel like i can sleep standing up.” you say with a chuckle, but it‘s not a joke. with the fatigue from the long flight, the cramped train, and jet lag: you do believe you can sleep like this.
“that sucks.” suna mumbles, as though he doesn‘t care. but his eyes are already looking around the train for free seats, or seats that will be freed with the next stop. “we‘re going to be here for another hour or so,”
“i know.” you mumble into his chest, filling your senses with his smell, rather than the smell of the train that‘s making you feel worse. “just wanna sleep.” you add further.
suna looks at you, his hand moving to the back of your head, running his fingers through your scalp and softly caressing you. his lips then press another kiss to your forehead.
“you can lean on me and sleep, i‘ll hold you.” he whispers to you, his hands moving back to the small of your back. his hand pats your skin softly, lulling you to sleep.
“but you‘re tired too,” you softly say into his chest, worried for him. but he simply shakes his head and presses one more kiss, but this time to your temple.
“it‘s okay, i can sleep at home.” he assures you, his hands moving up and down your back for comfort. usually, you‘d protest more, but due to your fatigue, you simply nod.
suna watches you softly, smiling to himself before he presses one last kiss to your forehead. he himself might be tired, but he would rather be standing there sleepy and looking out for you, rather than to let you stand there tired with him.
because he, no matter what happens, suna rintaro promises he will always look after you.
pairing:Suna Rintarou x gn!reader genre: fluff ; comfort warnings: none betas:unbeta’d a/n: this is a repost wc:1k
Even with clear directions from your best friend, he still has some difficulties with finding you. Most probably because it’s dark already, and you’re somewhere in the middle of a park. It’s not far from your apartment, but Suna still thinks he might have beaten his own record in getting there.
His steps lead him towards the swings you two loved spending your time at during high school years, but you’re not there. Not on the swings, not on the slide, not even on one of the benches inside the fenced playground. Luckily it’s silent, the rather chilly weather effectively discourages people from leaving their warm four walls.
Luckily it’s silent, because he can hear the lively chatter of your friends and walks where he’s sure the source is. Suna finds the group a few steps away from the main alley, under a huge tree, and greets them before coming closer to make himself known.
“Thanks for the call,” he nods with hands buried in his pockets. “And for staying with them. I’ll take it from here.”
“You sure you don’t need help?”
The man glances at you curled up on a cold grass and then quickly looks around the friends surrounding you dressed in clothes that might have been appropriate for the afternoon, but much less for an evening like this.
“Yeah, I’m good. Get home before you catch a cold.”
There’s laughter in response right before the good-nights and good-lucks, and let-us-know-if-you-need-anythings, but Suna barely pays any attention to it. He focuses on you, eyes scanning for any sign of discomfort even though he knows it’s the only thing you feel at the moment.
He crouches down and brushes your hair away from your face.
“Hi baby, it’s me. Let me take you home, yeah?”
His voice is quiet and gentle, but still enough to make you aware of his presence; your eyes move towards him and you blink slowly—action he takes as an agreement.
One arm slides under your knees, another behind your back and under your arm, and then you’re being lifted from the cold ground. Your head instinctively leans on Suna’s shoulder; he’s so warm and you’re so tired, and it feels as if you could fall asleep right there and then.
Your boyfriend carries you back to your shared apartment, and suddenly you’re overflowed with guilt. He’s too good for you. Too kind, too loving, too supporting. It was supposed to be a fun night, both for you and him even if separately, but here you are, defeated by the feeling of impending doom. And here he is, dragged out of the comfort and into the dark, carrying your weight like it’s nothing.
Absorbed in your thoughts, you don’t notice when you reach the familiar door until the man asks if you can stand on your own for a second. I can try, you think so you nod, and your feet indeed touch the floor but a strong arm still supports and embraces you tight.
The lock clicks and the door opens; Suna gently nudges you inside and into the bathroom, where he sits you on a tiny stool always kept by the bathtub. The fixture is filled with warm water while the man removes your clothes and make-up, and helps you get inside.
He lets you soak for a moment and your thoughts untangle, before grabbing your favourite shampoo. His fingertips massage your scalp in slow linear motions, sending tingles to your still numb limbs. With each move you feel the darkness dissipate a little, making it easier to breathe in the steamy air.
The touch disappears for a second and comes again on the skin on your face—tiny circles blooming with foam—removing the leftovers of the outing. It tickles like soft feathers and it’s not difficult to imagine this is what it is, even if for now they’re only in black and white.
You can’t tell if it’s been a minute or an hour, or even a whole eternity, before the hands move to the rest of your body. They’re rubbing at your muscles and joints, easing the tension with each squeeze.
Suna sees the expression on your face change—from the one of a painful indifference into the relaxed softness, and he wouldn’t make you move if not for a risk of you dozing off in the tub. He rinses the soap from your skin and hair, and wraps you in a fluffy towel on your way out.
Again, you’re seated on the stool, only this time with Suna behind you. As gently as he can, he brushes your hair, watching your reflection in the mirror closely for any sign of pain. But even if you felt any, you wouldn’t dare to show it with how tenderly he’s taking care of you.
However, there’s so much love in his gestures, in his touches, in his irises, so much more than you think you deserve, that the tears pool under your lids. They flow down your cheeks but Suna doesn’t say anything—he knows not to say anything—and lifts you silently to move you to the bedroom, where he dresses you in your favourite pyjamas.
Suna Rintarou is not a man of words; he doesn’t know how to describe the feelings swarming in his heart, doesn’t know how to name them. But he doesn’t need to, because his actions speak louder than any words ever could; they tell you everything you need to know and more.
So, wrapped tightly in the arms of the man that you love and who loves you, breathing in the scent that means safety and peace, you hide your face in the crook of his neck. And your hands shyly embracing him back tell him everything he needs to know.
pairing:Suna Rintarou x gn!reader genre:fluff warnings: none betas:@lemonadencran thank you so much a/n: Fic is part of the Anilysium Confessions collab! You can find the masterlist here wc:1k
Movies are unrealistic, Suna Rintarou thinks; it has nothing to do with the movie currently being displayed on the screen though, even if there are superpowers involved (no matter how much he wishes to have those). As a grown man he knows they are a work of fiction and doesn’t question it, so no, it’s not about the superheroes.
It’s not about the horrors either—Suna doesn’t believe in monsters (the worst kind of monsters are people anyway), not in zombies, not in ghosts, not really in oni or youkai. The world is dark and evil as is, it doesn’t need anything supernatural to make it scary for many.
Actually, it doesn’t concern anything super-something, no, because those are obviously against the laws of nature, or physics, or whatever.
The biggest surprise (or maybe disappointment), he thinks, is the depiction of love. He’s been fed with images of grand feelings and even greater gestures—of departures and rushing to the airport, of dancing and kissing in the rain, of speeches and confessions at proms—but there’s nothing of the sort.
Sure, he has dated before, but none of his relationships lasted for long; they had always left saying he was too detached, heartless even. And back then he thought it was true—after all his only response was a shrug and a quiet “‘kay”—he was never heartbroken, never fell into despair, never felt the pang in his chest. Maybe I’m just incapable of loving, he thought.
But now, being 25 and having met so many different kinds of people, Suna realises it isn’t true. Because here he is sitting on your couch, with your feet in his lap, and he glances at you crying for the hundredth time at the aftermath of Thanos’ snap. He thinks you’re soft and kind—it’s not frustrating, despite the many times he’s teased you about being a cry-baby with a flick on your forehead.
Still looking at you, he wonders when exactly he started having feelings deeper than just friendship, but he doesn’t know. There’s never been a moment of a great enlightenment, of a realisation striking him like a lightning bolt. Which is why it took him so long; he can’t help but think of himself as a frog being boiled—on a gradually increased flame—which doesn’t notice the situation it’s in until it’s too late.
Even after all these years you’ve known each other, it’s still fun to be around you. It’s incredibly easy to agitate you but you always bark back. Your sense of humour is just as wicked as his, and you both love the disgusted faces of people around while you’re hiccuping from laughter. You never push him, yet he always ends up spilling his secrets and thoughts, and worries, and you always listen with just a hum of acknowledgement, only to point out a detail he’s been missing.
That’s why—it being a sole reason as he’s always claimed—you’ve been his priority. He’s always asked you first to accompany him to some event bringing the disapproval of his then-partners, cancelled who knows how many dates because you needed help (even if you didn’t ask him to), and insisted on your participation in “high school boys reunion nights.” Over the years it’s been happening more and more frequently, until it became as natural as breathing.
Suna has never felt his heart ache—not even when it comes to you—even though he has missed you. But you were always just a phone call away in these cases, which he has made use of, despite god knowing how much he hates doing that.
Once, he recalls, you named him a cat—to which he proudly responded with “a fox! Not a cat!” but he supposes you were right. He’s always needed a great deal of alone time to recharge, coming back when he craved human interaction—just like a cat—and you—like a cat person—don’t seem to mind. Paradoxically, this is what kept him craving it more; your welcoming smile shone brighter than the sun itself, and filled him with indescribable warmth.
His eyes drop to his hands resting on your calves; the conjunction of skin radiates so much heat that Suna feels it in his chest and on his cheeks. He likes it—the softness under his fingers—and how it blooms with goosebumps following their movement. It’s really tempting to keep drawing patterns that would go up to your thighs and—if he’s lucky—maybe even higher.
What wouldn’t he give to be the one allowed to caress you like this, to leave trails of those tiny bumps and then kiss it “better”. He wonders if your skin would leave the same taste on his tongue as your name—sweet and refreshing—though he’s quite sure it would be addictive. The olive eyes move up, following a mental path of his mouth, and stop at your lips. They’re so compelling, and he can barely stop himself from kissing them like a madman.
“Rin?”
Your voice brings him back to the here and now, stripped of any what-ifs, and your eyes are exactly on his. Suna hums.
“You’re staring at me.”
“Am I?” Play it cool, play it cool.
“Yeah, you are. What are you thinking about?”
Hecannot play it cool. Not when you look so amused and concerned, and so relaxed in his presence. Not when you’re splayed out on your couch in your dimly lit living room, with his hands on your calves. Not when you feel so warm and soft, and almost expectant.
He cannot play it cool, and he cannot bear your gaze. Suna lets his body fall behind yours—his face hidden in your hair and arm thrown over your waist. You tense.
“I think I love you.”
Your body relaxes with a long exhale, and then you laugh,
“Took you long enough, dumbass.”
Suna should feel insulted, maybe surprised that you’ve known, maybe disappointed that you’ve never acted on it. But he can’t, because you turn to face him and kiss him softly and tenderly, as if you’ve been waiting years to do this and you’re scared to shatter this moment. He kisses you back, just as softly and tenderly.
And no, your lips don’t leave the same taste as your name.
why’d you only call me when you’re high ; suna rintarou
warnings mentions/usage of marijuana, and suna being a dick
genre angst (?), modern au, college au
word count0.6k
inspiration wyocmwyh by artic monkeys ( and this tiktok i saw )
synopsisyou’re upset that suna only wants you when he’s high while he’s indifferent
author’s note saw this tiktok of suna to this song the other day and i’ve been obsessed since. and i rarely wrote things that don’t end with a happy ending so spare me. also sorry if i didn’t use the right terminology for weed and stuff! i just went off my common knowledge.
There was silence until you heard the sound of Suna opening the drawer to his side table. The usual. You inhaled deeply, shutting your eyes. You always wondered to yourself why you thought it’d be different every time you came over. He beckoned you the same way every time.
Three in the morning, maybe even two, high off his ass, and only asking for sex when you arrived at the door.
Yet, you came in each time. You followed his trails of the smell of weed that you hated. But you put up with it each time. You laid under him, under the clouds marijuana while you let him lazily trail sloppy kisses along your collarbone or suck the skin of your thighs. As much as you loved that, you couldn’t push away the thoughts that came with it.
Your sighed when you heard the clink of his lighter. Slowly opening your eyes to the sight of Suna taking a drag and inhaling the drug. The question you’ve been wanting to ask tickled at your throat. It’s what came of those thoughts. It kept you up at night.
Did Suna even like you? Or was this just something he did while his head was in the clouds? It bit at you. You gulped audibly, mind racing.
Before Suna could bring the joint to his lips again, you spoke. “Why do you only call me over when you’re high?”
“What?” Suna angled his head down at you in question. You stared into his eyes, he obviously wasn’t sober.
You cleared your throat. Eyes shooting to avoid his tinted pink, “Why do you only call me over when you’re high, Suna?” Your tone was softer. You could feel your confidence slowly going out as he continued to stare down at you in silence.
Without a word, he fixated his view forward again and brought his joint to his lips. You internally scoffed. Well, there you had it.
You watched him exhale, craning his head backwards. It was the last time you were going to watch this. You couldn’t take it. No matter how good Suna made you feel, no matter how many times he managed to get you over the edge with the keen of his fingers or the thrust of his hips. No matter how many times he asked you to stay until the sunrised just for you to watch him cloud his mind right when he woke up.
“Fine.” You shuffled out of his bed, grabbing your clothes.
You visibly winced when you heard him snort. “Wait. You’re being serious?” He croaked. Your mouth opened to retort but nothing came out. Just the feeling that came when you were on the verge of tears.
Ugh, don’t cry over him.It’s not worth it. You repeated to yourself over and over while you got yourself together.
“___,” he called out for you. You slipped into your shoe, looking at him through your lashes.
“Forget it, Suna.”
He laughed again. “You’re being ridiculous…” You could feel the tears swelling up in your eyes.
You scoffed, heading for his bedroom door. It would be the last time you would be going through it, you were going to make yourself that promise. There would be no more walking into a waft of smoke just so you could be pleasured in the middle of the night by someone who obviously didn’t care.
“That’s fine. Just make sure to find someone else you can call when you get high and bored.” Your voice was on the borderline of shaky, but you still stood your ground.
There was no laugh this time. You watched his face twist up in confusion. Opening his door and stepping out into the clear hallway, you looked back one more time.
✎ summary: The year 2022 started great for Y/N L/N; an author with over six bestselling books all over the world. Her series, “Tales of Love,” has received an overwhelmingly huge amount of praise from fans and even critics. Despite all of her current achievements, she can’t help but feel like she’s lying to everyone—as she never really experienced the concept of love firsthand. Life circles back at her when she suddenly wakes up in all of her written books; learning what love truly is one by one.
✎ note: scratches head… I KNOW IT TOOK REALLY LONG IM SORRY T_T ive been so busy </3 BUT HI THIS IS CHAPTER 2 PLS ENJOY!!!! also heavily unedited </3 reblogs and comments are well appreciated >_<
After the three-lettered word left your mouth, Kenma briskly inserted the ring on your finger, his golden eyes holding mischief beneath them. You hear bystanders around you applaud and cheer you two on, unaware that the engagement was a mere act—an act to receive five free desserts.
Kenma settled back to his seat and wiped his scripted tears away, a smirk now covering his face. If he weren’t a photographer, he could’ve been an actor, you muse. He leans towards you, cupping a hand to your cheek, “They believed us, right?
You lose yourself to the sound of his voice; very dreamy-like.
Dreams are stories our minds create while we find ourselves in deep slumber. Each blurring memories of these dreams are unique in their own way. And to you, Kozume Kenma is a dream so near yet so far. A dream come true. His existence is a wish you’ve always whispered softly in thin air before sleeping, and now that you have a chance to be with him, you can’t help but indulge in this time-limited dream.
“Definitely,” you nod, eyes crinkling whilst staring at him. Who can blame you though? He’s just that pretty. From the corner of your eye, you see a waiter approach your table. “…And there he goes.”
“Bingo,” Kenma shakes his head, chuckling. He brings his hand down under the table, aiming for a fistbump. You return his fistbump, excited—maybe too excited.
The waiter with the name tag that reads “Makki” now stands before your table, a friendly smile greeting the two of you. “Congratulations on you two! We can sense the love even before this fine man proposed,” Makki beams, you raise a brow at Kenma, he shrugs. Makki hands you and the faux blond a fancy envelope. “In our restaurant, we have a special promo for couples who get engaged here, granting them five free desserts.”
Oh, we know, you wanted to comment. That’s why we’re here.
You share a glance with Kenma before you look down to open your envelope, a pink card with the different desserts printed on them. Your eyes spot your favorite desserts and immediately let Makki know your orders, he nods, smiling as he listens to you.
“I would want the apple pie and the tiramisu, please,” Kenma hands the envelope back to Makki. The waiter jots both of your orders down, before opening his mouth to speak again. “Oh, and can the apple pie be sliced in parts?”
Makki nods, “Yup.”
“I’ll have it sliced please.” Kenma smiles, “Thank you.”
“You two still have one more dessert left! Since you both ordered two each,” Makki brings up, his pointer raised. You chuckle, nodding understandingly. Kenma hums softly, eyes focused on you and you only.
If he keeps staring at me like that, I’ll fucking melt! Melt like the ice creams offered in this restaurant! You scream inside your head, face hot at the golden eyes that continue to pierce right through you.
“What would you like, love?” Kenma’s silky voice rings through your ears, while you bite your lips, now feeling shy. “Would you like a taiyaki or the banana split more?”
“I’m good with any,” you answer him. “You can choose what you want more though!”
“Mhm… okay. Got it,” He nods, now looking back to Makki. “We’ll get the taiyaki, please. And - uh, we’d like the desserts to be taken out? Is that’s okay?”
Makki gives him a thumbs-up, and Kenma lets out a relieved sigh. “Okay, okay… good! We have to be somewhere since I’m planning to bring my special lady somewhere,” he continues to blabber to the friendly waiter. You quirk a brow, lost. I don’t recall writing a scene like this in the book? Are these characters just… acting in their own volition? Do they actually have a life outside the books?
“Thank you! And congrats to you two once again!” Makki chimes in, taking the other envelope from you. You return his friendly smile thanking him, on the other hand, Kenma scratches his head, flustered.
The “somewhere” that Kenma wanted to bring you to was where the park that the two supposed main characters met when they were little. Now as you stand before the place you’ve written, you can’t help but agree on how magical it was. It wasn’t grand in any way, but it was just enough to create a lasting memory for a lifetime.
“I wanted to bring you here because we could eat the desserts peacefully,” Kenma bites his lip, avoiding your eyes. It was unbelievable how he effortlessly managed to capture your heart; may it be through written words or him standing right in front of you, hitting an arrow through your heart. He sits down on the left side of the swings, you take the one at the right. “And… erm… I wanted to hang out with you here.”
With your feet planted on the ground, you sway your swings slowly. Your movements create soft sounds with the squeak of the swings and the repeating contact of your sneakers to the pebbles. Kenma stays put whilst holding a brown paper bag, his gaze as sweet as the desserts that filled the bag.
“Was this just an excuse to be with me?” You tease him, now looking at the blond with cheeks as red as a strawberry. “Don’t worry Kenma, I feel the same. Now let’s eat! Let’s eat the taiyaki first, yeah?”
“Just like old times?” He voices out his question, words floating in thin air.
You slice the brief silence with your reply, “Just like old times.”
Technically, you have never experienced what he was talking about, but you’re somehow familiar with it. Similar to your relationship with the phenomenon of love; it was familiarly unknown.
Kenma hands you the fish-shaped cake first, you take it gratefully in your hands. You take a bite, while you watch him take his own and place the paper bag on his lap. Clutching your sling bag, you search for your phone, wanting to know how much time you have left to stay here. You didn’t want to be reminded of how limited your time is with him, but you had no choice - you had to be aware.
3:00:00,it showed in red. Your brows furrowed in confusion, why was it different this time? Does this mean that I get to stay with him for three more hours? Holy shit. You shut your phone off and put it back inside your bag.
“Ken, what time is it?” You ask him, while he quirks a brow.
“Didn’t you just check your phone?”
“My phone just died,” you answer him lamely, lying.
He shrugs, “Hm… it’s 9:00 PM right now.”
Three more hours.
When the clock strikes 12, you meet the deadline of your almost fairytale-like yet time-limited experience. You were Cinderella to this story; magically gifted a chance by some luck plucked in the universe, but you were still unsure if you’d actually be given a happy ending.
When the clock strikes 12, will time be kinder?
When the clock strikes 12, will time stop?
But as you gaze at the billions of stars found in Kenma’s golden eyes, maybe everything is worth it. You were given this chance once in a lifetime, it was better to make use of it before the time runs out.
“It’s still a bit early,” you avert your gaze to the sky. The stars in his eyes were brighter. “But I want to ask you something, Ken…” You hear him hum, “What do you think about love?”
“What’s this all about?” He chuckles, you feel your face get hot in embarrassment. “Kidding. Uh… love is hard to define and to be honest, I’m still trying to figure out my own definition for it. So for now, uh… love is hard to define, yeah—yup.”
Before you could open your mouth, you hear an unfamiliar voice boom behind you two. Turning around, your eyes widen at the sight of the tall man with messy jet-black bed hair and a grin tilted slightly sidewards. Kuroo Tetsurou; another childhood friend of the two main characters—and in this case, you were now one of the main characters.
“Hey, guys!” He walks to you and Kenma, his eyes shift from you to the blond. He also notices the sheepish smile plastered on your face and the blush that covers Kenma’s cheeks. Kuroo’s mouth twitches in mischief, “Did I interrupt something here?”
Kenma rolls his eyes, “You did.”
Your eyes blink in surprise, shocked at how blunt his response was. Well, you did write his character to be this way, but you were still caught off guard. Kuroo places his hands on his hips, lips now pouting. “Oh shit… really? Well, I was looking around for you! Someone went to your studio but it was closed earlier, they wanted to sched a photoshoot.”
“You could’ve texted me though?” Kenma asks his friend, holding out his phone to Kuroo. The taller man sighs dramatically, exclaiming how he did text him multiple times, but Kenma answered zero of them. Kenma whistles, “Oops.”
“Yeah, sure, oops!” Kuroo imitates the expression on Kenma’s face tauntingly, then, his eyes spot the paper bag with the restaurant’s logo and littered with pink heart stamps on Kenma’s lap. He crosses his arms, smirking, “You two went on a date?”
“You could call it that,” You waggle your brows. “Want some, Tetsu?”
“Fuck yeah!” Kuroo pumps his hands in the air, Kenma shakes his head before giving him a taiyaki. He takes it with a grin, before seating on the slide that was a few feet away from the swings. “Wait… isn’t this the dessert at the expensive ass restaurant downtown?”
Sharing a glance with Kenma, you wink at Kuroo. “Yup, we acted like a couple getting engaged to get free desserts. Since there’s a free Valentine’s day—more like a month—special.”
“Holy fuck! This is genius… finessing the system, huh?” Kuroo slaps his thighs, shaking in laughter. He turns to Kenma, “So you also got a fake engagement ring to get engaged or something?”
Kenma looks away, flustered at the question. “I used my grandma’s old engagement ring.”
Eyeing the beautiful silver ring that adorned your ring, your heart melts at how shy Kenma has gotten and how endearing he was. Kuroo hums, a genuine smile now playing on his lips. You knew that it was his grandma’s ring, you also knew the reason why he gave it. Why wouldn’t you when you practically know him by hand—no, literally.
“Didn’t your mom say to give it to a person you—”
“Finish that and I’ll strangle you alive,” Kenma grits out, cutting Kuroo off. The smirk on Kuroo’s face returns and his brows wiggle suggestively to his childhood friend. You chuckle, shaking your head. I mean, I know the reason why either way. I literally wrote the story.
Time passes by like a breeze, and Kuroo bids goodbye to the two of you. Before he left, he shared the stories of his mini-adventures with the new little frog he befriended a few days ago. He named the frog, “Hoppy Scotchy.” Kenma made a snide remark on how he thought Kuroo would name the frog “Bogart” because, for him, Kuroo tends to give “ugly” names to basically anything and everything.
Kenma and you remain on the swings, eating the other desserts you got from the expensive restaurant.
He takes a bite of his apple pie, which was thankfully sliced by his request, and his eyes fixate on the stars.
“If I were to actually propose, I want it to be somewhere special,” Kenma cuts the tranquil silence with his words. “That’s one of the wishes I want to fulfill in life, I guess..”
He turns to you, eyes brighter than the stars decorated in the sky. But if you were to compare him between the stars and moon, you’d choose the latter. There are many stars in the universe, but the moon—she’s incomparable.
That’s how Kenma is in the scope of your lens.
When people say they’re over the moon, it’s a way to say how ecstatic they are. And every encompassing minute with him is just filled with utter bliss and comfort. He’s exceptionally bright and he’s hopelessly unaware of it.
“Mhm, like where?”
“Uh… a place where we both met, perhaps?” He shrugs, swallowing the bite he took. His cheeks redden like apples, “For instance, if I were to really propose to you, I’d do it here. Here in this playground. Not just because I prefer privacy, but I also treasure intimacy. Y’know?”
“That’s true and it’s very like you.” With a gentle smile reaching your eyes, you hum softly. “I feel like public proposals can only happen successfully when the couple talks about their plans and all, like for example, marriage. I fucking hate it when they only propose publicly just to pressure their partner to say yes on the spot. Like? How low can you be?!”
Kenma’s chuckle rings through the empty night. “Right? And it’s always the men who do it too.”
“I know!” You roll your eyes, grumbling. “Men are so fucking annoying.”
“Agreed.”
A few moments of silence pass by, the night breeze kissing both of your skins. You estimate to have an hour left before your time runs out. Wanting to savor the company of Kenma, you cling to your words.
“Hey, Ken?”
“Yeah?” He takes another bite of his beloved apple pie, cheeks full. You had to contain the urge to pinch his cheeks right there and then. He’s so fucking cute, what the fuck! Can’t I just keep him?!
You bite your lip while deep in thought. You open your mouth and hesitate - the words you wanted to say wouldn’t come out. They remain to be an unspoken fate. Maybe another time, then. “Nothing, nothing.”
I want to stay here with you, but I can’t.
Kenma raises a brow, “You sure? You look like you’re thinking hard of something.”
Wrapping your arms to your body, you nod assuringly. You were unsure if you were assuring him or the seas of uncertainty swimming inside you. “Yeah, I’m good. Don’t worry.”
“You denying it worries me even more, but I won’t push you to say anything.” Kenma replies, now folding the paper bag close. “Just know that I’m always here, yeah?”
“Yeah, I know you will be.”
But I’m unsure if I’ll always be there for you, Kenma.
“Do you want to stay over tonight?” His question holds the universe tight in his hold. He gives you a cheeky wink, “Stay over the night, my fiancée?”
It wouldn’t hurt if you cherish this moment a little longer, wouldn’t it?
“I’d love to, my fiancé.“
After all, you’re only given a limited amount of time.
The next time you wake up, you’re sprawled over your floor. Your wall clock beams the time annoyingly, 9:08 AM. Almost ten hours after your encounter with Kenma. Before you drifted to a deep slumber, you remember sharing the bed with him. The parallels never lie, they tell the tales of your universes; so similar yet apart - never intersecting.
“I could’ve at least gotten a memory of my night with him,” you groan, now sitting up straight. Rubbing your drowsy eyes, you yawn tiredly. Your eyes scan your apartment, nothing out of the ordinary, that was until you saw the same paper bag of the restaurant from last time. Kicking your legs, you stand up—well, wobble.
“Holy fucking shit?!” Your hands take a hold of the paper bag, placed neatly on your dining table. Quickly opening it, you were met with the only dessert left, an apple pie—Kenma’s favorite. You also catch sight of another folded paper. “It’s them again, isn’t it?”
“Good morning, Y/N!
We figured that you’d want a memory of last night so when you “transported” back to your universe, we brought along this lonesome apple pie and the ring Kenma gave you. You’re welcome in advance. And yes, we predicted you squealing right now. And no, we can’t read minds.
Anyway, we forgot to mention that whenever you’re not in the other characters’ universe, time resumes normally. There are versions of you floating around there as well but don’t worry, they don’t really have consciousness - they’re just there to fill in the blanks while you’re away.
That’s it for now. Enjoy!
P.S. Kenma put a long pillow between the two of you only for him to push it aside while he was sleeping. Then proceeded on hugging you, thinking it was his pillow.
— EVOL.”
You shake your head, feeling your cheeks heat up. Of course, Kenma would do that, it’s very “Kenma” of him to do so. Biting down your lips to stop the huge grin from breaking free, you place the folded paper back in the paper bag.
“I’ll eat it later.”
You were in fact, not able to eat the apple pie.
For the past few days, you contemplated whether or not you should eat it. You could’ve returned to Kenma’s universe, but it felt unfair for the other characters because you haven’t met them yet. So you were stuck with a three-day-old apple pie and wasted chances from meeting the other characters.
Today, you decided to change that.
(You also decided to throw out the apple pie and keep the paper bag instead.)
You were ready to face Suna Rintarou, after all. He’s the main character in your 4th book, “Mic Drop.” Rintarou is an underground rapper with high ambitions. He’s basically a Chaste Atlantic song personified. If you were being completely honest, he was one of the most interesting characters you’ve ever written. With a hard exterior presented to everyone around him but showing a soft interior to people he holds dear to his heart, there was something unexplainable about him.
“Ludus,” your voice whispers through thin air, eyes closing tightly. You should get used to this, but every time, you get a bit nauseous.
Sounds of children squealing greet your ears: “Mommy, she ate my food!” “Daddy, can we buy more food?!” “I want the unicorn back!” Your eyes open abruptly, only to stand in front of a Primary School. The red gate caging you outside.
What the fuck? Am I in the right universe? You sigh in exasperation, You’ve got to be kidding me.
“Y/N-ie?” A voice says while you feel a soft tug on your skirt. Looking down, you’re met with a cute girl with pigtails. Her big eyes look up to you with a few tears leaking, making it glassy. Your heart immediately breaks at the upset look she plastered on her face. “The boys in my class made fun of my new bag…”
“They did? How rude of them!” You were unsure of who this child is but you picked her up in your arms. Her bag drops on the floor with a loud thud. While you coo at her, your mind reels back to who this can possibly be in the 4th book.
What if she’s mistaken me for someone else? But she seems to know me though? Fuck, I can’t just ask for her name, she might cry even more if I “forgot” about her.
Eyeing her heart-shaped bag, you see her nametag spell out: “Rinako.” Your mouth opens in familiarity, now remembering who she is—Rintarou’s younger sister. You’ve written him down to be protective of his sister and have a soft spot for her.
“They even said that it’s ugly and so girly because it’s pink,” she sniffles out. “I got mad at them because this is the bag Rinnie gave me for my birthday. I don’t get why they have to be so mean about it…”
“They said it’s ugly?!” Your words unexpectedly fly out with no filter, coming across as a loud exclaim. She nods, resting her chin on your shoulder while her arms hug your neck. “You know what’s ugly? Their behavior! And besides, colors have no gender!”
“Brother told me the—the same thing,” Rinako whispers out. You feel her wipe her tears with her smaller hands, “He even told me that… that pink is such a cool color that’s why it’s the color of his mic for when he per—performs.”
You pat her back lightly before you crouch down to take her school bag. It was a cute and simple bag, pink and heart-shaped, medium in size. It was also outlined with holographic glitter, a small teddy bear keychain dangling on its side.
“When I see those mean fu—bullies, I mean,” You corrected yourself before you could curse. She sniffles a bit. “When I see them I’ll avenge you Rinako! Trust me!”
“Thank you, Y/N-ie!” She snuggles even more in your warmth.
“…Hey Rina, where are we supposed to go again?”
“Um… back home?”
“Can you tell me the directions, your Y/N-ie kind of forgot…”
After Rinako teaches you the way back, which was, by the way, a 40-minute walk from the school since you had to enter the village where they reside. You even suggested going to an ice cream shop to rest for a bit because your legs badly wanted to give up. The two of you now finally stand in front of their house. It was a huge modern house, white in color and accented with beige.
I forgot they were rich.
“I’m sorry for making us walk today Y/N-ie,” Rinako apologizes as she welcomes you inside. You gawk at the sight of the high ceilings and the painted portraits of each Suna family member propped on the white walls. “Normally, our driver would pick me up but he called in sick. Mom, dad, and Rinnie are busy with their work too.”
You smile, “It’s fine, we were able to eat ice cream while doing so, yeah? We had fun!”
Rinako grins, nodding, her pigtails moving with each movement. “I’ll prepare you a tea party because you deserve it!”
“No, no, it’s okay!”
“I insist, Y/N-ie!” She waves your objections aside. She’s just like her brother; stubborn beyond comparison. You smile at their similarities, it was nice seeing firsthand the characters that were mere words come to life. Her gray eyes sparkled in delight, “Let’s go upstairs in my room!”
You follow her as she leads you through their splendid central staircase. As your feet lead you up, you admire the woodwork done to the staircase, Rinako babbles about her new teacup set. You pull your phone out of your sweatpants’ pocket and check how much time you have left. Indicated in red text, the screen blares 10:00:00.
Holy shit, I have so much time left? Your eyes widen, Where the fuck is Rintarou though?!
“Here we are!” Rinako pushes her dark wooden door open, a grin plastered on her face. You two enter and you can’t help but admire everything around here. It astonished you, they really were rich. “Y/N-ie seat over the pink couch first and I’ll wash our teacups first!”
“Let me help, Rina—” She shakes her head, pointing at her pink couch. You know you couldn’t convince her further, she wouldn’t follow you either. “Okay, fine.”
Taking a seat on her pink leather couch, you sigh in relaxation. You let your feet finally rest, it was a tiring 40-minute walk anyway, who could blame you. You watch Rinako take her teacup set in one of her cabinets and scurry inside her bathroom.
“Hey Rina, where’s Rintarou again?”
“He’s in a meeting with Mom and Dad!” She yells her answer from the bathroom, her voice echoing. “He said he’ll come here right after their meeting though!”
“M’kay!”
You unlock your phone and scroll through your apps, but to your surprise, the social media accounts you owned in your universe were gone. The other you stared back at you, as her smile beams at each photo as you scroll through her accounts.
“There are versions of you floating around there as well but don’t worry, they don’t really have consciousness - they’re just there to fill in the blanks while you’re away.”
It saddened you in a way that you didn’t understand why.
The next few minutes consisted of you playing a random puzzle game, and as you were about to ask Rinako if she was done washing her teacup set, a text message from Rintarou notified you. Your eyes widen, a bit giddy at his text. You didn’t even meet him yet but you’re here smiling like a fool.
[4:43 PM] Rin:babe, i’ll come home in a few hours!! enjoy your time with rina, okay? we’ll go out after, i love you.
[4:44 PM] Rin:P.S. in my room, there’s a dress i bought you last night. wear that for me later okay, pretty?
You type a reply and send it quickly, smiling. Rinako walks back with her washed porcelain teacup and sets it down on the floor. Your eyes widen remembering that it was an expensive Hermes set. You knew because you owned one as well, a gift from Kenji last year. She hums at you while she sets two cups down, “Do you want chamomile or echinacea tea, Y/N-ie?”
“Any that you want, Rina, I’m good with any.” You answer her, she nods. She gets up on her feet once again and walked over to take two tea bags, and turn on the kettle to heat up some water. You watch her go back and sit down on the floor.
“You’re really good at managing the tea and stuff, do you do this often?” Your question makes her eyes crinkle in delight while she gives you a thumbs-up.
“Yup! Rinnie and I like to make tea a lot, we like to do it when we bond!” Rinako flashes you her toothy grin, “He taught me a lot about a lot of stuff… He’s the best big brother ever!”
“Ever?”
“Yep,” she bobs her head up and down. She leans closer to you, “Don’t tell him this but he talks about you like all the time! Rinnie goes all heart-eyes for you, Y/N-ie, I swear!”
Your eyes crinkle at her revelation. Before she could say another word to expose her brother, the kettle whistles, its sound echoing through the room. Rinako stands up and takes the kettle carefully, two spoons in her other hand. She stalks back to your spot and settles down on the floor across from you.
You watch her place a teabag in each teacup and then carefully pour the scorching water inside. She cuts you off right away when she sees you open your mouth, probably to whine about how you weren’t able to help. She was right.
“Let me do this for you, Y/N-ie! It’s just fair because I tired you out earlier,” she explains with a pout. “Anyway, I have more stories about Rinnie, specifically embarrassing ones—”
The door to Rinako’s room opens with a tall figure trailing behind it. Suna Rintarou stands with a hand on his hip and a brow raised, lips formed in an amused smirk: “Embarrassing stories about me?”
Rinako groans, “Rinnie, go away! Can’t you see Y/N-ie and I hanging out?” She stirs your tea slowly, before handing it out to you. You take it gratefully and place it back on the floor. You can’t help but divert your attention to her brother instead.
If Kozume Kenma was your dream come true, then for Suna Rintarou, you are the epitome of all of his dreams combined. You are the dream he can forever succumb to in rose-tinted and cloudy skies.
“I can clearly see that,” Suna rolls his eyes, now closing the door. He walks to you two, plopping himself on Rinako’s bed. He takes a bunny plushie and hugs it in his chest. “But Y/N and I are gonna hang out tonight! And besides, she’s my girlfriend, don’t steal her away from me!”
A goofy grin breaks out from your lips as you look at him. Rinako sticks a tongue out at her older brother, shaking her head. “Nope, she’s staying with me!”
“Y/N and I are going out later!” Suna pouts, he turns to look at you with puffed cheeks. “Right, babe?”
Your eyes flicker from his grayish-yellow eyes down to his lips. You slap a hand on your face, causing Rinako and Suna to stare at you. He clears his throat before you answer, stumbling through your words. “Um - uh, yeah! Yeah. Sorry.”
Fuck, he’s so… holy shit.
Suna chuckles, shaking his head. You couldn’t help but admire his eyes, his lips, his voice—everything. Everything about Suna Rintarou was intoxicating; it was as if he was some type of drug you needed to consume daily because you feel like, without him, you were incomplete. A pill crushed in pieces, if you may.
“Babe, you okay?” He asks you, now concerned. He couldn’t help but wonder why you were acting so ditzy. “Do you have a headache? Bellyache?”
Now, this is a problem you’re yet to face more in the future: from all the characters, Suna was very keen. He’d see right through you if you lied to his face. And knowing that you aren’t his actual girlfriend, you’re bound to make a mistake or two.
“This is all your fault, Rinnie!” Rinako points an accusing finger to Suna with furrowed eyes. “She was doing okay earlier, this is all your fault!”
“Why is it my fault?!”
“I dunno! I’m blaming you just because I can!”
The two siblings argue for a few more minutes until you have had enough. You let out a loud sigh, making them stop and turn their heads back at you. “Guys, I’m okay… okay? If you continue to fight, my head will actually hurt this time.”
They nod slowly, listening to you.
You were fine, really, just overwhelmed about your current situation. Everything happening to you lately is just actually bizarre.
“Let me hang out with Y/N-ie more before you two leave for later!” Rinako begs with a pout. Suna lets out a dramatic sigh, “Okay, fine!”
“We’ll leave later, pretty.” Suna stands up from the bed, before crouching down and planting a kiss on your forehead. Your cheeks heat up, giddy. He sing-songs, “Can’t wait for later tonight!”
“I’d like to dedicate this song to my girlfriend!” Suna yells through his pink mic, eyes eagerly meeting yours. The sound of the crowd’s loud cheers echoes in the bar, hearing some of them coo at how romantic their beloved rapper “Ludus” was. The spotlight aims at his tall frame, colors of red, blue, and violet alternating. “She’s right here, actually!”
As Suna points his finger to where you were currently seated, at one of the booths on the right of the bar, the spotlight follows your direction. You grimace at the intensity of brightness of the light and at the eyes that followed suit. After you get used to it, you flash them a smile.
The lights here hurt my eyes so much, you groan internally. I can’t be a celebrity like this - I have to train myself more. Kidding, I already am a celebrity. Maybe, I don’t know.
“I’m not someone who usually sings but tonight is an exception,” He chuckles. Suna looks to his left and nods, “Hit it!”
The Miya twins start playing their respective instruments; Osamu on the drums and Atsumu with the electric guitar. Ojiro Aran salutes and trails his fingers on his bass. After a few movements, the intro of “Die for You” by The Weeknd starts playing through their instruments.
You sway your body to the music, enjoying the richness of Suna’s voice. His deep voice complimented the song and he interpreted the lyrics effortlessly as well. You didn’t understand why he wouldn’t sing more often when he’s that fucking good.
“The distance and the time between us, it’ll never change my mind, ‘cause baby I’ll die for you.” Suna sings, his eyes trained on you and you only. Feeling shy, you close your eyes and smile. He was great at making you feel like you were the only person in the world. In fact, he was a natural at that.
While Suna continues to sing, an unfamiliar voice slices through your busy thoughts.
“Hello, can I take a seat here?”
You open your eyes and an ash blond guy smiles at you. A friendly smile plastered all over his face, he looks at the empty space in front of you. He scratches his head, “Um - uh, can I? I’m really sorry, all the seats are packed and yeah…”
“Sure, no worries.”
Suna from the stage sees this exchange between you and the guy. It wasn’t just any guy though, it was his biggest rival, Semi Eita, known for his rapper name “E-Dream.”
For Suna, you’re his dreams all combined. But with Semi Eita in the picture, he can’t help but feel all of his dreams be crushed.
LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK!!!!!! ISTG ILL UPDATE SOONER IM JUST RLY BUSY LATELY BUT YEAH </3 ILY ALL AND YES HOPE U ENJOYED READING!!!!!!!!!
pairing:Suna Rintarou x gn!reader genre: fluff ; comfort warnings: none betas:unbeta’d a/n: this is a repost wc:1k
Even with clear directions from your best friend, he still has some difficulties with finding you. Most probably because it’s dark already, and you’re somewhere in the middle of a park. It’s not far from your apartment, but Suna still thinks he might have beaten his own record in getting there.
His steps lead him towards the swings you two loved spending your time at during high school years, but you’re not there. Not on the swings, not on the slide, not even on one of the benches inside the fenced playground. Luckily it’s silent, the rather chilly weather effectively discourages people from leaving their warm four walls.
Luckily it’s silent, because he can hear the lively chatter of your friends and walks where he’s sure the source is. Suna finds the group a few steps away from the main alley, under a huge tree, and greets them before coming closer to make himself known.
“Thanks for the call,” he nods with hands buried in his pockets. “And for staying with them. I’ll take it from here.”
pairing:Suna Rintarou x gn!reader genre:fluff warnings: none betas:@lemonadencran thank you so much a/n: Fic is part of the Anilysium Confessions collab! You can find the masterlist here wc:1k
Movies are unrealistic, Suna Rintarou thinks; it has nothing to do with the movie currently being displayed on the screen though, even if there are superpowers involved (no matter how much he wishes to have those). As a grown man he knows they are a work of fiction and doesn’t question it, so no, it’s not about the superheroes.
It’s not about the horrors either—Suna doesn’t believe in monsters (the worst kind of monsters are people anyway), not in zombies, not in ghosts, not really in oni or youkai. The world is dark and evil as is, it doesn’t need anything supernatural to make it scary for many.
Actually, it doesn’t concern anything super-something, no, because those are obviously against the laws of nature, or physics, or whatever.
a/n:why do i only ever have inspiration to write during exam season anw i wrote this on mobile because while doing a math paper i suddenly thought of these hope you guys enjoy this!!
atsumu says i love you like he’s barefoot on asphalt in the summer, tan skin burnt under the unyielding sun. the words leave his throat with the same pain of sunburnt skin, but it’s okay because when you say i love you too, your words are a balm, a healing salve that soothes.
osamu says i love you like it’s a gold star, the kind you used to get in elementary school when you’ve done something special — except he says it every evening, when he’s walked you to your doorstep. moonlight slips from the cave of his mouth and you lean closer, closer still to taste the night on his tongue, to swallow that little gold star he always has for you.
suna says i love you like the snap of a bear trap. when he smiles into your skin it’s a predator’s grin, the circle of his arms the noose you will always choose. you say i love you too, and it’s the knowing mouse stepping onto the trap for the promise of cheese.
kita says i love you like water dripping steadily onto the same spot of a rock for decades, centuries, millennia. he says it every morning, a pot of coffee freshly brewed just for you before he heads to the fields, a note bearing three words. it’s okay if you don’t say it back every time, kita tells you, the water doesn’t need to know that the rock is there, because it will fall anyway — it’s just gravity.
aran says i love you into the crook between your neck and your shoulder, like some whispered secret that he paints over your skin in a language only the two of you understand. the first time he said it, under the city lights and beneath the dim stars, he also says, it’s okay if you don’t say it back now — every bud takes time to blossom, every fruit needs time to ripen.
a/n; a quick something i whipped up on christmas night, i hope everyone had a wonderful day <3
“Sunarin, where on earth are you taking us?”
“Patience. We’re almost there.”
“You said that thirty minutes ago.”
“Details, (y/n). Details.” Suna tosses a smirk over his shoulder and tugs you closer to his side as you huff at him, acknowledging the impatience on your face.
This wasn’t what you were expecting when he showed up at your door at ten in the evening. All he’d told you was that you needed to wrap up warm, and from there, the two of you had made your way to the city center, walking along the brightly lit streets towards a completely unknown location. It’s a Friday night— the night of Christmas Eve— so you’d thought that he wanted to take you out to see the Christmas market or perhaps gaze at the stunningly decorated Christmas tree that stood proudly in the center of town.
Alas, you had long walked past all the traditional Christmasy spots and are now wandering further and further away from town, around the outskirts of town where fewer people tread at this time of night.
You press closer to Suna.
“Cold?”
“More like creeped out,” you shudder, apprehensively looking around the empty streets. “How did you even find out about this place?”
Suna shrugs at your question before hooking an arm around your waist. The proximity feels reassuring, the warmth radiating off his body helping to quell part of your fears. “I wander a lot,” he says simply. “City’s pretty at night.”
“You’re like a cat,” you muse, prompting Suna to huff out a curt laugh.
Still, you can’t help but find that his words ring true. Because even though the streets are mostly desolate, you can’t deny that beneath the initial eeriness of the outskirts lies an understated beauty that becomes more apparent the further you walk.
You enjoy how the empty streets rest in silence, save for the sound of yours and Suna’s steady footsteps against the damp pavement. The obsidian sky looks particularly picturesque aswell, especially the more you distance yourself from the central parts of town, giving way to stars that peak out behind misty clouds like timid fireflies. Even the water in the potholes catch your eye, remnants of yesterday’s snowfall shimmering under the streetlamps’ amber hue.
You’d marvel at the scenery for longer if it weren’t for the pressing question of where you were headed. You’re certain you’ve been walking for close to an hour now, and the lack of shops, bars, restaurants and overall social buzz make you question what else there possibly is to see.
“You sure you know where you’re going, mister alley cat? Seems very deserted here…”
Suna glances at you before making a sharp right, leading you down yet another street you’ve never set foot on. He really does live up to his nickname. Navigating the city with confident steps, slinking through streets and alleys like he’s done this countless times before.
“That’s the point,” he says. “Don’t you worry, it’ll be worth it. Plus we’re almost there.”
You squint at him.
“For real, this time.”
His footsteps slow as he reaches a tall building, pushing the door open and stopping at the base of a staircase. You give him a skeptical look, not exactly liking the look of the run-down, and from the looks of it abandoned building. Suna’s quick to pick up on your apprehension and laces his hand with yours, giving it a firm squeeze.
Trust me, the gesture says.
With a gentle tug, he induces you up the stairs, occasionally glancing over his shoulder to assure you’re okay. The iron stairs creak under your feet as you make your way up. A mix of nerves and excitement bubble in your chest. The climb takes a while, but eventually Suna comes to a halt once you reach the top of the staircase, behind another iron door which you can only imagine leads to the roof of the building. “Alright,” he starts, eyes glinting playfully. “Close your eyes.”
You raise an eyebrow in question, then do as he says. All of a sudden it’s as though your senses have been heightened. The ground is solid under your feet as Suna pushes the door open and pulls you outside. There’s a faint scent of rain in the air, the breeze is crisper and Suna’s hands are warm against your own, his hold delicate as he guides you onwards with a slow pace.
You stop after just a few steps, almost bumping into Suna from the abrupt pause. He chuckles and softly pecks your forehead.
“We’re here,” he murmurs, his voice light. “You can open your eyes.”
“Okay,” you say tentatively. You feel almost giddy at what you’re about to lay eyes on. You’re positive it involves the view, given your current location, but that doesn’t stop you from drawing in a breath the moment you lift your eyelids.
Below you is a constellation of lights, every flashing shop sign, every passing car reminiscent of stars glimmering against a velvety black sky. The cityscape looks like a nebula made up of the warmest yellows infused with the coolest shades of blue. Never have you seen the city look so mesmerising.
“Wow,” you breath, enamoured by the abondance of colours. It’s crazy to think that each light you see down there is another person living their own life, with their own personality, own job, own routine…
And on top of an abandoned building stand two more people, watching everything unravel, completely unbeknownst to the world.
“Like it?” Asks Suna, reeling you from your daze. You glance at him. His body is turned towards the city, pale green irises reflecting the sea of lights below, unguarded and seemingly just as fascinated by the thousands of stars beneath you. You’re tempted to reach out at him, to trace the contours of his moonlit face, to feel the softness of his chestnut hair which appears almost silver beneath the moon’s glow.
Your breath hitches once again when he turns to look at you, snatching the remaining breath from your throat.
“Alley cat got your tongue?”
You shake your head as he cocks an eyebrow at you, amusement playing on his features. Judging by the look on his face, it’s safe to assume he’d noticed you staring, thus you don’t even try to play it off. That kind of act never works around Suna anyway.
“It’s beautiful,” you say, ignoring how Suna smirks at your statement. You’re forced to add: “the view, I mean.”
“Told you,” he replies, sounding almost proud. “It’s the second nicest view in Japan.” He adds.
“Oh?” Curious, you tilt your head at Suna. “What’s the first?”
For a moment you’re left unanswered, silence hanging in the air as you maintain eye contact with the man before you. He doesn’t say a word, which confuses you slightly. He simply regards you, eyes just a tad more tender than usual.
That’s when it hits you.
Heat rises to your cheeks, and just when you hoped the darkness would be enough to conceal your blush, Suna lets out a roguish laugh. “Took you long enough.”
“That was so cheesy,” You chide, your voice on the verge of laughter despite your initial embarassement. Another chuckle rumbles in Suna’s chest as he soaks in your flustered appearance. Then, as the rosiness of your cheeks begins to die down, Suna speaks up again.
“Mind if I get cheesier?” He asks.
The oddness of his question leaves you skeptical, but before you can ask what he means, Suna steps forward and surprises you by resting a hand across your cheek. Immediately, you feel your heart rate pick up, and like second nature you feel your eyes begin to drift shut, already craving more of his touch. Your silence is all he needs to hear in order to inch closer to your face, hooking a finger beneath your chin.
“Merry Christmas, (y/n).”
He presses his lips to yours, and around you, the world spins.
Request:@multi-fandom-fanfic I’m so sorry it took me so long but now the second part is done. I think it’s still a open end so you can decide on your own how the story ends. (I really can’t say why I like open ends more, so sorry for that hehe)
Your tears flow down your cheeks as you run away from Suna. From his nasty words, which he had said right into your face some second ago. Calling you, his long-time girlfriend, a crazy, annoying stalker… That hurts…
His cold and distant eyes have made it clear to you that you should disappear. But why is it so hard to forget him? The question is simple to answer because you love him. Because you don’t want to admit that he really meant his words the same way.
Still you run, don’t look forward when you bump into something big. Something… or better said someone.
His expression changes within seconds from an annoyed man to an old good friend who is happy to see you again after almost nine months. But his smile, those dark eyes, and his warm hands on your shoulders quickly fade when he sees how upset you are.
“Osamu I-”
“Hey, come in, kay?” Says the probably more mature one of the two Miya brothers, as he looks around left and right and pushes you into his shop, before he takes in the big sign, which was placed on the street with all the dishes of the day, and turns the open sign to closed.
Somewhat lost, you stand in the room, keep your arms crossed in front of your body, and look around the shop. It’s been a while since you were here. Actually, it was before the breakup with Suna, where Osamu and all of you watched a game of the Japanese national team together in his shop.
“So you’re still alive, huh?”
You hear Osamu behind you as he puts a hand on your lower back and pushes you slightly forward, telling you to sit down. Nodding, you go to a small table where two people can eat and sit down. Osamu hands you a handkerchief from his pocket so you can wipe away your tears before he puts a glass of water on your table and sits down next to you.
“I’m sorry, I… It was just difficult for me to come here… You know, Suna was almost always here and it just hurts…”
You know he doesn’t want an apology from you, but you still want to explain it to him. You were only here with Suna. Osamu is also your friend, but for every celebration, Suna would have been there and just at the beginning of the breakup, that was too much for you. It’s still hard for you to keep seeing him at games. It constantly remembers you that all the beautiful times with him is just a nice memory now. But you promised him back then to support him, and you still want that, even if it hurts.
“Well, it’s okay. I get it. But at least ya could have answered my messages, you know?” With a friendly smile, he tries to disguise his serious words, and he succeeds.
“You’re still at each of his games, right?”
“I - yes…”
“Damn, this idiot’s really lucky… Ya know, you deserve better. Think about yerself, not him.”
He clicks his tongue before leaning back in the chair and looking at you. He had never understood the reason for your breakup. Actually, not one of Suna’s friends had. They were all confused. To this day, it remains a mystery to him what his true motives are.
He still watches you clench the handkerchief firmly in your hand, before you drink your water glass empty and look at the clock. If you want to go home? Should he stop you? Keep comforting you? After all, nine months have passed and you still seem to love Suna. So it must be a horrible time for you. He should be a good friend and help you get on other thoughts now that you’re here. But before he can say a word, you open your mouth.
“Where are my manners? You were about to close the store, weren’t you? I don’t want to keep you out of your free time.”
You sniff when you look behind Osamu and notice a group picture of you all, with Suna and you as a couple. Even here, everything reminds you of your time together. The time as a happy couple.
“Ah no, it’s all right. I -”
“No, no, please. I think I should go. But I promise you, next time I’ll answer your message. Thank you, thank you for the time you took for my well being.” You interrupt him and get up, walk towards the shop door with quick steps, followed by Osamu, who goes outside with you.
“Are ya sure? I mean, you’re welcome to stay. You must be hungry, right?”
“Thanks Osamu, but I’m not hungry. Next time, I promise.”
You answer him with a smile, hug him goodbye and give him a fleeting kiss on the cheek before turning around and going home. It won’t hurt to hang out with him. As long as you two are alone. Maybe he also knows the reason why Suna stopped loving you. Maybe you can fix it that way.
After the little kiss, Osamu grins stupidly, is a little surprised, as he makes a half turn and touches the cheek, on which your lips were before. “See ya next time.” He whispers softly, before he shakes his head smiling and froze a short time later when he looks up. Because in front of him is his old friend. The man who broke your heart.
Osamu imagines that for a second he did not see that monotonous, indifferent look on Suna’s face. He imagines that Suna had an almost frightened expression for a blink of an eye, wounded, when he saw you with Osamu.
“You… You’re dating my ex?” He asks irritated, and looks at your disappearing silhouette.
Actually, he was the one who dumped you out of nowhere, ignored you, and suddenly realized he didn’t love you anymore. So Suna shouldn’t care if he’s dating you or not. Even if his boyfriend’s ex is probably taboo.
“Eh no we-“
“It’s okay… I don’t care for that girl.”
“That… girl? The hell? So you’re telling me ya wouldn’t mind if I went out with the woman you’ve been dating since childhood?”
“Yeah, do whatever you want.” It comes out of Suna without hesitation, before he shrugs his shoulders indifferently, his hands in his pockets.
“Ya wouldn’t mind if we kiss, if I tell her I love her, and if we would sleep together?”
“Like I said… Do whatever you want.” This time his answer is not as determined as before. At least Osamu wants to convince himself of it. Because he just can’t understand his friend.
“Awesome. Then, I gotta call her today and ask her if she wanna go out with me. Maybe we’ll add some Netflix and chill.” Again Osamu tries to lure him out of the reserve, and again Suna does not even flinch.
“Do you want to go on with it, or do I get the portion of Onigiri that you should put back for me?”
“Yeah… Well, wait. Gotta go, get the food for ya.”
Only his thumb stops him from pressing the small call icon on his phone. One last time, he goes through the conversation with Suna in his head. He remembers the words of his friend after giving him the food. Osamu had asked him about the real reason for the breakup. This time he wasn’t satisfied with a simple “I don’t love her anymore”. He wanted to know the real reason so he wouldn’t feel guilty about going out with his buddy’s ex-girlfriend. At least that was the version Osamu told Suna hoping he would buy it from him. And other than expected, he got the real reason.
“I broke up with her because I saw how much this life in the spotlight ruins her. I could see it in her eyes. She was scared, sad, had little sleep. She needs another life, one that I can’t give her.”
“Don’t ya think you should’ve talked to her about it? There is always a solution.”
“No, she would have denied it. She would have tried to play it down that it was okay. She’d never admit it. But that doesn’t matter. As I said, I don’t love her anymore. “
“Ya don’t love her anymore… That’s why you’re trying hard to keep her away from you, trying to be as disgusting as possible to her, so she hates ya?”
“Yes, I don’t care about her.” He had said this sentence with such an odd look, Osamu is still thinking about what this look should mean, before he shakes his head and presses the button. Maybe Suna realizes that he cares about you when he sees you two together.
“Hello Osamu, did you want to try whether I really stick to my word, to not ignore you?” You laugh on the other side. But if he listens more closely, he hears that you are sad.
“Yeah, so ya know, I was actually wondering if you might have time tomorrow. I’d like to do something with ya and… And just wanna talk if that’s okay with ya.” For a long time, he hears nothing on the other line. Not even your breathing. Maybe you’re not on the phone anymore? But then he hears your voice again.
“Yes, sure. Where and when should I be there?”
“Tomorrow at four in the afternoon in front of my shop?”
“Alright, sounds good. See you tomorrow, Osamu..” With these words you say goodbye to him a second time today, not knowing what awaits you tomorrow. Would you have gone into the meeting if you had known what he was going to tell you there, what he was going to do? You don’t know, because if you hadn’t gone into the meeting, your feelings wouldn’t be so upset, strange and confused today.
Because after your meeting, three games of Suna have already passed, in which you were not on the stand to cheer Suna. You went to Osamu’s store, watched the game from there. Today is the fourth game, a game to which Osamu had invited you to his home. He posted a selfie of you and him together on his couch in his group chat, with the words “Good luck, from my charming seat neighbor and me.” his arm tightly wrapped around you. He wanted nothing more than to reach Suna’s attention with the picture, which he apparently succeeded.
Because for the entire game, Suna looked distracted, almost absent, until he was replaced and was told to take a rest on the bench. For the remaining game time, he didn’t come back as a player. Also, he is not present at the press conference. His coach apologizes and tells the people that Suna should visit the doctor because of an alleged harmless injury. With this injury, which is not described further, they also excused his performance today.
You observe the press conference, worrying about Suna, which Osamu notices. Suna is so lucky… He has a woman who loves him more than anything, who, although he treated her badly, would stand behind him and support him. Why is he ruining all this? He does not realize that his decision, which he had made for your benefit, was actually nothing but selfishly, because he ignored your feelings. If only he talked to you.
Osamu is looking for the right words to cheer you up, to get you somehow on other thoughts, when his mobile phone vibrates next to him, before he looks at his screen for a brief moment.
Suna is angry with herself. Angry that his feelings had influenced him while playing. He had to think of this picture, how close Osamu was to you. Osamu had really not hesitated and called you directly. Suna thought it was just a bluff that his friend had just told him all the stuff to pull him out of the wall he had built. He never thought he’d put his words into action.
Suna had to think about how you celebrate each of the points his team had scored. Did Osamu hug you? Did you even kiss? The thought alone makes him sick. Every point has made him more restless. It was probably better that his coach had sent him home. Home, where he should go now, but his legs lead him to a small detour past Osamu’s apartment.
He only notices the fact that he stands in front of the building where his friend lives when he stands in front of the entrance. Through the bright window, he can look into the living room. It’s almost ironic that he’s the one watching you through a window now.
His throat is dry, his chest heavy when he sees you both sitting on the couch. The press conference is still going on in the background, but you two have not been looking there for a long time. Your eyes are fixed on Osamu, his on yours. Far too familiar, he strokes your cheek, is much too close to you. Suna feels like he’s about to throw up.
He didn’t want to drag you away because he hates you. He wanted you as far away from him as possible because he can’t stand to see you. Because he always loved you. For so many years… It hurts to see you so close to him and not to touch you, to not feel your warm and soft skin.
Suna wanted to convince himself that he wanted to see you happy, but actually he has to admit that he was selfish, because deep inside, he was relieved that you were there, even if you were sad. Then seeing you every time he plays has shown him that you still stand behind him, that you are still there, that you’re still paying attention to him. Never would you let him down, no matter what he’s trying to do. No matter how badly he treats you.
Suna knows he should be happy for you when you have found your new happiness and let you go. Let you live the life you deserve. But why can’t he leave you behind, accept that you’re happy with Osamu now?
It’s too easy to say. He can’t because he realized in the first game where you were not there that you were ready to leave your relationship behind, that you actually perceive your relationship as a memory. He can’t accept it because he wants to be in Osamu’s place. Suna can’t see you happy with another man. It tears him apart to see the woman he loves continue her path without him, even though you have a good right to do so. But he can’t let you go. Even if he should.
His eyes are still fixed on you as his foot steps back, but he stops in his movement when he sees Osamu coming closer and closer to your face how he tells you something, before you close your eyes. Between your lips, there’s almost no space left.
Go… Stay… Suna’s feelings struggle with his mind. Let her be happy. Stop her. He can’t…
“Okay, now listen to me. My camera outside the front door has a motion sensor that notifies me as soon as someone stands in front of my door. Suna is standing outside right now, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the photo that I put in our group. Well more because of you. Just do me this one favor and play along now and close yer eyes, okay?”
You can’t follow Osamu’s words at first, still trying to understand them as he gets closer and closer to you. Why is Suna here? Why isn’t he with the doctor as described by his coach? Was Osamu right about what he told you several weeks ago? Is it true that Suna still loves you? That he’s here would prove that he cares about you. But what exactly is Osamu up to?
Although you don’t understand what Osamu is aiming for, you close your eyes, hear the couch below you make a creaking sound as Osamu approaches you before you sense his breath on your lips. Is he trying to kiss you? Osamu wanted to help you get back together with Suna, so what’s he doing here? And why are you suddenly so warm, why do his touches feel so pleasant? Is it because you two have spent so much time together in the last few weeks that he has become someone so familiar to you? Or maybe you… No.
And yet, you do not avoid the kiss, want to give in to it as the loud bell of his front door makes you both startle.
Osamu looks at the door with a sly grin before he folds his hands in front of him in an apologetic gesture and bows to you.
“I’m so terribly sorry for what just happened.” He stutters with reddened cheeks, almost like a small school child. Somehow, he thought it would be a good idea to kiss you to make Suna jealous, but he has to admit that he is almost disappointed that it did not come to the kiss. A confession that he should never say out loud. After all, he wants you and his friend to be happy again.
“O- okay?” You answer him completely confused and look after him as he goes to the door when he plays as if he’s startled to see Suna.
“Suna? What are you doing here, shouldn’t y-”
“Yeah, yeah it’s fine. I -, are you alone?” Asks Suna rhetorically, because he already knows the answer.
Hesitantly, you come to meet the two men, notice how you suddenly feel uncomfortable again, heavy and sad. Confused, mad, glad, angry and so much at once. Seeing Suna hurts you so much that you want to run away. For his words are still deep in your ears. “You’re like a crazy stalker”.
Close to tears, you notice how a warm hand lies down on your shoulder, before you’re looking to the side in Osamu’s smiling face.
“Eh, I put the pic of us in the group Suna, of course I’m not alone. Why?”
Suna studies your form, and for the first time in a long you see a suffering Suna in front of you. His green eyes, which were always so beautiful, look tired. They look so sad and lost.
“Can, can I talk to you?”
“I don’t know what you want to talk about with a crazy stalker.”
You answer him and it feels like a slap in the face. Of course, these words have remained in your memory. He himself could hardly bring them over his lips. How much they must have hurt you. He was an asshole, still is, for bothering you and his best friend to finally find happiness. Suna didn’t deserve to ask for forgiveness, to ask if you see a chance at both of you having a fresh start, finding a way together against all these paparazzi.
“My bad, you’re right. I’ll be at the store tomorrow after practice, Osamu. Can you put a portion of ramen back?”
Suna changes the subject with a bitter undertone when he glances at his friend, don’t dare to look at you and turns around to leave the apartment?
“Hey, wait, where are ya going?” Osamu tries to stop him but Suna’s steps become faster.
“You heard my coach. I have to see the doctor. So, bye.” He says goodbye with a waving gesture, does not look back anymore, when Osamu’s words make him stop.
“Just admit that you still love her. Rintarou, you love her and you can’t bear to see us both together. Admit it at last.”
He knows, he knows Osamu is right, but what’s the point of telling you he loves you? Osamu and you wanted to kiss earlier. You probably won’t like to hear his confession. Maybe you would laugh about his stupidness.
“Rin, is that true… Is it true what Osamu says?” Your voice is shaking. Suna hears that you have tears in your eyes, even though he doesn’t see you. He would recognize that trembling undertone in your voice again and again. Please stop crying, he thinks, trying to fight with himself to tell you the truth as he flinches when your hand grabs his wrist.
“Rintarou, is it true th-” Even before you can finish your sentence, Suna turns around, looking at you tired as he breathes deeply and opens his mouth.
“Even if it’s true, it wouldn’t matter. We have no future together.”
“That was not the question!” You scream suddenly, and don’t care that your tears run down your cheeks and drip on the floor. With your little freak-out, Suna’s eyes grow big before he pulls himself back together. How can he stay strong when he sees you like this? He can’t keep quiet anymore.
“I always have to think about you, how nice it would be to be next to you now, how calming it is to hear your heartbeat. I hate to see you so sad on the edge of the game, knowing I’m the reason. The breakup was just for your best. You should be happy without those cameras in your face. But the truth is, I hate it even more to see you happy with someone else. Is that what you want to hear?!” Unusually for Suna, he also gets louder and louder, and Osamu considers whether it would not be smarter to intervene.
“I -”
“Yes, yes, I still love you! I never stopped loving you! And I want you back in my life. I want to find a way with you so that you can deal with the cameras without having to be afraid. I want-” Suna falls silent as the loud sound of a slap rings through the hallway. You had actually slapped him, a blow that had a lot of strength, because his cheek is reddened, throbbing mightily when he grabs his skin and looks at you silently.
“Stop, stop it, okay… You tell me you love me, only to break up with me a day later. Ignore my calls, my messages, call me a crazy stalker just to tell me again that you did all this just to protect me? And at the same time tell me that you still love me and want me back? Do you know how I felt the whole time, how I feel now? How painful all of this is for me? Don’t do this to me, when you’re not sure about your feelings!”
You cry, and Suna does not dare to step forward to take you in his arms, even if he would want nothing more than that. He can only imagine how bad all this must have been for you. Now he knows that what he did to you was anything but a feat.
His hand trembles slightly as he stretches it forward to reach for you, to comfort you, but you dodge him. Another bitter slap in the face for him that he deserved.
“So you want to tell me that you love me and want to be with me?”
From your mouth the words sound so bitter and silly. Because it’s just stupid of him to talk about love again after all he’s done to you. But it’s enough with the excuses now.
“Yes, yes, I do. I don’t know if there’s any way you’re gonna get used to these cameras and paparazzi someday, but I want to try.” He answers, still with his hands up in your direction.
“To try? Rintarou, I don’t want to try anything. My feelings are not there to play with them. I don’t want to get hurt like that again. I also have feelings, feelings that you confuse over and over again! I- I can’t…” You sniff before you look at your bag and jacket hanging in the hallway at the wardrobe and reaching for them.
This is too much for you. How Suna confesses his love for you, about which you should be happy, but it just makes you angry. You’re so disappointed he didn’t talk to you before. That he had decided everything alone. But you’re also mad at Osamu, who’s trying to stop you from going outside crying. Who has been caring for you lately, who somehow has become more and more important to you. All this confuses you. It gets too much for you and you just want to leave. Just be alone.
Silently, you apologize to Osamu as you run past Suna and grab the door handle. But you can’t open the door when two arms wrap around you, squeezing you tight. Brown, soft hair lies on your neck and you feel the warmth of Suna on your body as he buries his head further into the crook of your neck.
“Please don’t go. Please, I love you. I can’t be without you. Please give me one last chance. Please…”
Never has his voice been so shaky, or was it his body that trembled so much? Probably both. You hear him sniffing, breathing hard. Is he crying right now? Suna Rintarou? You can’t remember a moment you saw him cry in all the years you two were together. He always had his emotions under control. But there’s nothing to see of that right now.
“Please, if I could, I’d take back everything I said, but I can’t. I can only try to straighten it out. If I could, I’d go back to the day you told me you’d always support me, whether I go for the career of a pro volleyball player or not, and I would have decided against it if I had known that my career takes away everything I care about. And that’s you. I would-”
“Rin… please stop… I never wanted you to give up your career because of me. You love your sport and you’re so good at it. I just wanted you to talk to me, that we go our way together no matter what…”
He still holds you tight in his arms as you put your hand on his arms to signal him to let you go. And that’s what he does. Your expression is still sad, but also worried when you seek eye contact with him, when he looks ashamed to the side, about the fact that he had shown his feelings openly earlier. But your hands pull his face in your direction, make him stare at you when you smile sadly.
“Does that mean you’re gonna give me one last chance?”
“I don’t know, but… I can’t answer that today. And also not tomorrow… But maybe you could take me home today.” He smiles, relieved at the words, because they mean that you do not give up on him. At least as a friend, hopefully as his girlfriend at some point in the future.
“Yes, yes, of course. I would be happy to take you home.”
“Okay.” You whisper quietly before you put on your jacket and turn to Osamu, when a silent “thank you” forms your lips as he shows you a thumb up, and remains satisfied in his suddenly so quiet now so lonely apartment.
tags: AFAB reader, established relationship, angst to fluff, happy ending, suna being a jerk, bisexual reader, reader has a past, atsumu is your bestie
wc: 2.7k
He wanted to be an asshole so badly and now he’s paying for it.
Suna and you were going back and forth. You just wanted to know why he was acting so distant and cold to you recently. The last straw was him shoving you off of him when you greeted him with a hug.
“I just don’t understand did I do something?” You asked in frustration.
“No! you didn’t you’re just yourself and that’s more than enough for me to avoid you.” He snapped
You paused, processing his words. Suna looked at you wide-eyed realizing his mistake.
“Okay.” You didn’t really know what to say. “If you need a break you could have told me.”
You started picking up your stuff around his room and shoving it into your bag. Suna was at a loss for words, his brain scrambling trying to keep up and failing.
He didn’t mean to hurt you.
You packed up your bag and walked out of his room at record speed before he had time to react. Running out the door you didn’t want to hear anything else hurtful. You were closing the front door by the time he was running out his door down the staircase too late to catch you.
Damn it he didn’t want a break.
He rested his head against the door
Suna always said the wrong thing.
Hurting the one person he truly cared about.
It had been 5 days since you walked out the front door and he was miserable.
You didn’t say anything to your friends but they were slowly picking up on the behavior. Suna and you were both in different classes so you two would always spend lunch and study hall together.
Instead of sitting with the twins and him, you sat with your friends in their classrooms for lunch. During study hall you weren’t in any classroom, completely gone during school.
You had completely disappeared from his life and you weren’t answering the phone.
You gave him an out when he didn’t want one, he wanted you.
He was tired of you so you removed yourself. Now there was a hole in his life when you had dropped off the face of the earth.
The fourteenth call today and you hadn’t picked up one. It seemed like you wanted this break to be permanent.
He was determined to find you today. Waiting outside the school entrance to walk you home. You couldn’t ignore him for that long.
He towered over most of the crowd waiting by a pillar until he saw your familiar head. He pushed his way into the crowd until he saw you holding hands with a girl both of you laughing. She was pretty; way prettier than him making him nervous. Pretty doe eyes, long soft hair, and pretty facial features make her look like a model.
You were bisexual and had dated many girls before him. He was the only guy you ever seriously dated. His stomach was twisting and he almost stopped in his tracks when she kissed you on your cheek, dangerously close to your lips.
No.
He’s not stopping again like last time.
Suna surged forward and both of you were outside the crowd him tapping your shoulder.
You turned your head, smile dropping recognizing his face.
“Hey, you can walk ahead without me.” You said to your friend who eyed him up and down before nodding.
“Hi, Suna.”
He cleared his throat all thoughts leaving his brain.
“Uh um, I just wanted…to um.”
Were you already dating her?
You seemed close like- couple-close
How have you moved on so fast?
How was he going to compete when you liked girls more?
Is this why you’re were the one to suggest a break?
Why weren’t you calling him Rinnie?
You stared back at his eyes before you realized what he wanted.
“Oh, I should’ve given you your ring and necklace back, sorry. It slipped my mind.”
Unclasping your necklace and pulling off his promise ring dropping them off in his hand.
“No that’s not what I-“
“Y/n!” You turned your head at your new friend calling for you.
“I gotta go but if you need anything…”
You quickly turned leaving him speechless once again.
He stared at the jewelry placed in his hand. You really returned his gifts to him like it was nothing. A borrowed pencil from a classmate. Not the necklace he gave you at six months telling you that you were the only person he cared about, or the ring he gave you saying he wanted to be with you for life not caring that both of you were in high school.
Looking up, you were turning down the street like your fingers intertwined into the girls smiling at her words. It was scaring him how easily you were moving on and how stuck he felt when it was his fault. He just wanted you back.
Suna went to the only other person that could help him. Unfortunately, it was Atsumu.
Pounding on his back door Suna was impatient. Every minute you spent with that new girl is another you’re forgetting about him.
Osamu swung the door open frowning at his teammate.
“What are you doing here?”
Suna barged in, “Is Atsumu here?”
“Oh yeah, he’s in his ro-”
Suna didn’t even let him finish bounding up the stairs and into his room scaring Atsumu.
“What the hell Os-. Oh, it’s you.”
“I need your help.”
“What?”
“Y/n is slipping away from me and I need help.” Suna clarified
Atsumu stared at him from his bed and cackled pushing back his straw-colored hair.
“You need help from the master do you?”
“Shut up you know I wouldn’t go to you if I had anyone else.” Suna groaned plopping down on his bed.
You and Atsumu had been best friends since diapers. You told him everything, from your sex stories, relationships, family drama, to what you were eating that day. Both of you had that bond where the other could say whatever they wanted no judgment.
Atsumu actually introduced you to Suna.
“Please,” Suna asked
Atsumu rolled his eyes, “What do you need.”
“Who is this new girl she’s with? Are they dating? Is she actually done with me or do I have a chance and if I do how do I fix this.”
Atsumu frowned at your words, “New girl?”
“Yes she was walking out of school with her today and they were kissing.”
“What did she look like?”
“Um…long hair big brown eyes.”
Atsumu scratched his neck, “Uh dude I don’t know how to say this but uh. Y/n has been like a lot a LOT of girls so you’re gonna have to be more specific.”
“She was like a couple inches taller and had a pink ribbon in her hair.”
“Oh! that’s not a new girl that’s Hana her ex.”
A mild stomach pain turned gut-wrenching at his words.
You never discussed exes with Suna knowing that it would be too much for him so he willfully lived in the dark happy to be present with you.
“Damn sorry man,” Atsumu said slapping Suna on his back.
Great now he’s competing with an ex.
“How long did they date?”
“Hana and y/n have been on and off since late elementary school dude, we were all in the same class.” Atsumu shrugged, “She stopped coming around when you two met.”
This just keeps getting worse and worse.
“Okay, what did Y/n tell you.”
Atsumu laughed, “That you fucked up big time. Saying that you basically wanted to avoid her because she was herself. Low blow dude. Then when she suggested a break you agreed by being silent so she left. She didn’t say it but y/n is super hurt.”
Suna tugged at his roots in stress.
“What else?”
“Well I know she didn’t want to tell you about her past but let’s just say the girl knows how to have fun and she’s worst than any dude I’ve met. So she went out that night with Hana and they’ve been hanging out ever since and when she’s not hanging with Hana she’s hanging out with everyone else.” He admitted.
Suna fished the necklace and ring out of his pocket showing Suna.
“She gave me back the necklace and ring I gave her. Do you think I still have a chance?”
Atsumu stared at his hand. Remembering the conversation you and he had when you first put it on.
“Rin got me a ring.” You sang wiggling your finger in his face as you talked to him on the way to practice.
“Simp!” Atsumu laughed grabbing your hand to get a better look at it.
“Yeah yeah, whatever but he’s sweet to me. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.” You confessed a small smile tugging at your lips.
“Gross y/n. I don’t need to hear about how he’s your bitch.” Atsumu joked
You ignored his words “Yeah, there’s a part of me that wants to run when he says that because I know if he hurts me that’ll be it…but there’s another part that’s excited that he loves me.”
“You’re so annoying. Well if he hurts you you’ll probably swear off dick forever.”
You sighed, “Yeah hopefully it works out. If not, well… you know how much fun I am single.”
“Honestly I have no idea how she’s feeling about you right now. She won’t talk to me about it so you’re kinda fucked. But I do know she shuts off her emotions when she’s hurt, man. It’s not good.” Atsumu explained.
“I should still try though? right?” Suna asked
“If you love her then yeah.” Atsumu agreed. Suna was your first relationship where Atsumu saw that you were putting in effort and really cared about your partner’s feelings.
Suna sat up shoving the jewelry back in his pocket and left the room determined to win you back. He didn’t care about your past or anything like that he just wanted you.
Practicing what to say in his head as he walked to your house, he was preparing himself. He was not going to freeze up or be interrupted again, he was going to win you back. He was going to apologize, grovel at your feet until you took him back, shower you with love, and give you back your ring and necklace. You two were going to be together again and happy. He wouldn’t take you for granted ever again. You were the most important thing in his life and he would show that forever if that’s what it takes.
All your future plans were not going down the drain because he said hurtful things to you. He couldn’t do this without you anymore. Whatever it took to get you back.
Knocking on your door he shuffled his feet nervously practicing what to say to you.
Take me back
I love you
I can’t live without you
Please baby you’re all that I need
I’m so sorry
I didn’t mean it
I should’ve never let you walk out that door
The door swung open to find Hana looking at him.
“Oh. um, you’re not delivery. Uh, Y/n…”
Hana’s hair was tied up in a bun showing hickies, wearing your shirt and a pair of shorts. His heart was dropping into his stomach at the sight.
“Yeah, Hana?” You yelled back coming up behind her and stopping seeing him.
“Hi?” Gesturing for Hana to go back into the house.
Was there something else he wanted to get from you?
He was freezing again, more like buffering. You were wearing a crop top that didn’t even cover your lower boobs.
He gulped unable to stop staring. Jealousy and lust fogging up his brain
“Earth to Suna.” you sang waving your hand across his face.
“I-I just I want you back…please baby.” He said snapping his eyes to yours.
You shifted uncomfortably at his words, knowing Hana is listening.
“Um Suna-“
“Rin.”
You sighed, “Suna you said a lot of things that night and you agreed with taking a break. Nothing’s changed I’m still myself and that’s someone you want to avoid. I think you’re just used to being with me.”
“No, you’re wrong. I’m so sorry. I love you just the way you are. I didn’t mean it.” He pleaded.
You chewed your lips at his words, “I appreciate the apology Suna.”
God, were you really done with him?
He was trying to stop himself from tearing up. Straightening his words he said, “I am going to fight for us. I don’t care that you and Hana are back together. You are my true love and I’m yours and I won’t stop until you realize that. You never said you stopped loving me.”
You rolled your eyes at him, “Okay Suna see you at school.” You’ve heard the “I’m fighting for us” speech before by multiple people, Hana included. It never really worked, you always were a free spirit anyway.
You closed the door and walked back to Hana sitting on the couch.
“So wanna watch a movie?”
Suna was back in the city working on plan B. He meant it when he said he didn’t want to spend another day without you.
Suna was in a flower shop picking out your favorite flowers and going in for round two.
After buying a bouquet and sitting on the train he was standing in front of your house but he noticed your parents were home.
Shit.
They wouldn’t let him upstairs especially if you called down that you two were broken up. The only good scenario is that Hana had more than likely left. He walked around back and saw your window. Suna had done this a hundred times before, sneaking into your window, but not with a big bouquet of flowers.
Climbing the tree next to your room flowers in his mouth he finally got to your window sill able to open it.
Suna tumbled into your room with the grace of an elephant making you yelp in surprise.
“What are you doing!” You whisper yell helping him stand up trying to not alert your parents of the familiar intruder.
“I’m fighting for our love.” He wheezed flowers thrust into your arms as he hunched over on the floor trying to breathe.
“Oh my god are you okay Rin sit down.” You pulled his arm sitting him down on your bed.
He fell back on your bed as you put the flowers on your dresser.
“Do you like the flowers baby?”
You sighed, “Yes Suna I like the flowers thank you.” He remembered your favorite flowers, pretty pink tulips with light green stems wrapped in a bouquet.
Sitting down next to him on the bed.
“Suna you gotta stop,” you said as he stared up at you.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I love you too much. If I let you go over me and my stupid mouth I’ll never forgive myself because I know we still love each other.”
“You said that you wanted to avoid me because of the way I am. Then you had no objections to us taking a break and you let me walk out that door. Then we didn’t speak for 5 days. That doesn’t sound like love to me.” You reasoned with him.
“I’m sorry for what I said you know I get angry and say things I don’t mean.” He was pulling you towards him and you weren’t resisting. You slowly pushed his floppy hair back into his middle part and he began to relax in your hold.
Both of you were known to be hotheads.
His hands firmly gripped your waist as you sat in his lap.
“I don’t know what else you want me to do. I just climbed your second-story window to confess my love for you. Do you want me to get on my knees? I’ll do it.” He slowly started to get on the floor. You yanked him.
“Okay I believe you, you love me get up.” He was already tugging on your heartstrings with his cheesiness.
He smiled giving you a kiss on your cheek.
“Can we be together now?”
“I don’t know…” He really hurt you. It wasn’t just what he said, it was how he exploded when all you wanted was to talk and figure it out.
“Can you take me back now?” He repeated. One thing about Suna was that he was persistent.
Stared at him in silence studying his face.
“I don’t know if I can…”
You wanted to be honest with him.
“Hana and I…she wants….We’ve been talking again.”
His heart sank at your words. You were actually going back to your ex.
“Are you going back to her?”
“I care about her. But I love you…but you hurt me so badly” You admitted feeling conflicted.
“So come back to me. I’m sorry I should’ve never taken you for granted and I’ll make it up to you, I don’t know how but I’m willing to try.”
His dark eyes were pleading with you. You couldn’t resist his puppy dog eyes and he was really trying to fix his mistake. Rin literally just scaled the side of your house to get to you.
He was nuzzling your neck and gripping your tighter in his lap.
“Okay, Rinnie.”
He tackled you to the bed making you shriek at his weight. Suna rubbed his hands up your side giving you a million kisses.
