#symptom documentation
Really showing some self restraint here, I feel. Going back and fourth back and fourth. Should We? Shouldn’t We? We want to try to clear up psychosis and also not make it worse. We are taking the smallest dose of lsd We think We’ve taken since We started Psychedelic Therapy. About 100mcg. Teen wanted to do 200mcg but Brother actually talked him out of it. He said just to do a little for medicine. Basically that’s what he was saying. But yeah, today We walked to the store by ourself (bad idea) everything went relatively fine but when We got home and went to unlock our door We got freaked out. We swore someone had come up the stairs behind us but there was no one. Then it felt like they kept sneaking up behind us. There wasn’t anyone there. We will see if this dose makes a difference.
The shadows stopped moving.
Really showing some self restraint here, I feel. Going back and fourth back and fourth. Should We? Shouldn’t We? We want to try to clear up psychosis and also not make it worse. We are taking the smallest dose of lsd We think We’ve taken since We started Psychedelic Therapy. About 100mcg. Teen wanted to do 200mcg but Brother actually talked him out of it. He said just to do a little for medicine. Basically that’s what he was saying. But yeah, today We walked to the store by ourself (bad idea) everything went relatively fine but when We got home and went to unlock our door We got freaked out. We swore someone had come up the stairs behind us but there was no one. Then it felt like they kept sneaking up behind us. There wasn’t anyone there. We will see if this dose makes a difference.
I just made a promise to Dante that I wouldn’t make another suicide attempt until we try the lsd route first. He heard me and acknowledged it. I have to remember.
It’s been over a year since We started psychedelic therapy. Started with lsd and ketamine. Saved us. It’s time to wake up Dante. I think he would like things much better now with the new level of self awareness. I think he would like to front.
Been trying to sleep for a couple hours now. Lots of shit happening. Found out what the Eddie Money reference was all about. Saw Henry as an angel. Don’t know what the fuck that means. Slow danced with Rio. Someone was controlling the vessel and dancing to Die Antwoord. Dante, Animal, Rio, Teen. We were all together. Not really. It was showing us what could be. Needed to take notes.
Teen: “Imagine if I was my age.”
Animal: “Thaaat sentence doesn’t make any fucking sense! ”
Nearing the end of day two of our THC talerance break. Realizing that it wasn’t the THC that was increasing the symptoms. The THC just made it more obvious to us. We aren’t high. We aren’t drunk. We aren’t on anything. Still switching out. It seems like whoever is fronting gets influenced without warning. Mixing without warning. Just start moving and talking. Moving with different mannerisms. Speaking someone else’s words with someone else’s voice. The symptoms have not decreased since the break from Concerta and THC. They may have increased the dissociation in the beginning but it seems like whatever switch it flipped is still flipped. Not upset. Not excited. Just observing. Trying to just document our symptoms without emotional interference. We have become our own psychiatrist. We are the doctor. We are the patient. Don’t forget that.
