#self medication
I had such a rough day today. I’m in partial hospitalization (a temporary day program) right now and some other patients there really pissed me off. Talking about how they think “psychos” shouldn’t be kept with other patients when being hospitalized. “There should be another ward for people like that.” I don’t know why it bothered me so much. Shit like that usually doesn’t get to me. I haven’t suffered from psychosis since early 2018. But the way they were talking about it… Like they are so fucking superior. It just got under my skin. Then they were talking about smoking weed, doing shrooms and lsd at festivals. “Not like bad drugs. I don’t consider that stuff real drugs.” Neither do I. But what exactly are “bad drugs”? Huh Karen? It’s getting hard to think again. Fuck my clouded mind! I need help. I need to make this feeling go away. My head is starting to hurt again! I need some “medication”. I don’t know where to get it anymore. I’m starting to feel myself fade again.
Really showing some self restraint here, I feel. Going back and fourth back and fourth. Should We? Shouldn’t We? We want to try to clear up psychosis and also not make it worse. We are taking the smallest dose of lsd We think We’ve taken since We started Psychedelic Therapy. About 100mcg. Teen wanted to do 200mcg but Brother actually talked him out of it. He said just to do a little for medicine. Basically that’s what he was saying. But yeah, today We walked to the store by ourself (bad idea) everything went relatively fine but when We got home and went to unlock our door We got freaked out. We swore someone had come up the stairs behind us but there was no one. Then it felt like they kept sneaking up behind us. There wasn’t anyone there. We will see if this dose makes a difference.
The shadows stopped moving.
Really showing some self restraint here, I feel. Going back and fourth back and fourth. Should We? Shouldn’t We? We want to try to clear up psychosis and also not make it worse. We are taking the smallest dose of lsd We think We’ve taken since We started Psychedelic Therapy. About 100mcg. Teen wanted to do 200mcg but Brother actually talked him out of it. He said just to do a little for medicine. Basically that’s what he was saying. But yeah, today We walked to the store by ourself (bad idea) everything went relatively fine but when We got home and went to unlock our door We got freaked out. We swore someone had come up the stairs behind us but there was no one. Then it felt like they kept sneaking up behind us. There wasn’t anyone there. We will see if this dose makes a difference.
Been trying to sleep for a couple hours now. Lots of shit happening. Found out what the Eddie Money reference was all about. Saw Henry as an angel. Don’t know what the fuck that means. Slow danced with Rio. Someone was controlling the vessel and dancing to Die Antwoord. Dante, Animal, Rio, Teen. We were all together. Not really. It was showing us what could be. Needed to take notes.
Teen: “Imagine if I was my age.”
Animal: “Thaaat sentence doesn’t make any fucking sense! ”
Original Quote Rumourtalks
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just saw somebody replying stuff against self-medding hrt on someone else’s post and they had cripplepunk in their bio….. honey cripple punk is inherently pro autonomy in substance use regardless of whether there’s a doctor involved. wtf.
I was self medicating with food for 4 years to cope with undiagnosed/underdiagnosed POTS.
Yeah, my weight gain will now proceed to fly off like it has previously done.
All I needed this entire time was a low dose beta blocker. What the hell.
I pushed for the cardiologist to stop thinking it was just MCAS mimicking POTS (as I would have had a change already if that was the case).
Surprisingly I wanted a PT referral (which will still be very beneficial) but the beta blocker is what is helping more.
The sad part is I am known by my medical doctors for this coping mechanism and yet everyone missed it except the psychiatrist, who kept pushing for the POTS diagnosis.
