[1:41 a.m.]

amidst the chaos of flashing lights and sweaty bodies on the dance floor, you can still make out the surprise in juyeon’s eyes when your lips encase his own. drunken desire drowns out the sound of the club music as his tongue delves into your mouth.

large hands come to grab the expanse of your neck, and it’s when the heat enveloping you two gets to be too much that you stop to smile up at him. dripping in ecstasy, your voice sends shivers down his spine,

“i win.”

honey-hao:

3:15 pm | kv m. | tbz

content: female!reader, dom!reader, sub!idol, mommy kink, bondage, punishment, mentions of a humiliation kink and exhibitionism, hair pulling, mild degradation towards kevin, ~900 words

dt: the anon who requested it <3

What’s gotten into you today?” You click your tongue and roll your eyes, watching the way Kevin pulls against his restraints. “First, touching yourself without permission, and then trying to tease me in front of your members? Jacob almost saw you trying to put your hand in my panties, you know. Maybe you wanted him to - wanted him to see you be naughty, maybe you wanted him to help me punish you?” 

Kevin looks at you with blurry eyes, but a smirk still on his face. “What if I did?” You laugh and tug on one of his restraints, spreading his legs wider and tightening it more once he’s in the position you want.

“Then I guess he’d have to help me edge you until you have rope burn, wouldn’t he, baby?” He makes a startled whimper at the sudden movement, and at the threat of the rope burn.

Keep reading

childish fear | l. juyeon

⚔ pairing: stranger!juyeon x single mom! fem! reader
⚔ genre: fluff
⚔ wc : 3.2k
⚔ tw: none
⚔ a/n: im so sorry it’s been so long but my work keeps me super busy and i hate my unposted fics that i wrote in the past, hence my absence. i promise to come back here asap!! <33
⚔ requested: no

╰☆☆☆☆╮

“Mommy, where are we going?” your daughter asked for the nth time as you guided her foot by the ankle in her shoe. Her tiny hand leant on your shoulder while you fastened the Velcro straps and zipped up her jacket, walking out of your apartment to the corridor of your floor. She watched you locked the front door and sliding the keys in your handbag before grabbing her hand to the elevator.

“As I’ve told you, we’re heading to a coffee shop to see Uncle Kevin and Jinseon, remember?” she clapped in her hands as if she just learnt the news, despite her asking this question over five times since she woke up. You forgave her because she was at the age where she would find everything fascinating and barely pay attention to what you said. You chuckled and shook your head with a smile as her curious eyes observed the elevator, touching the mirror and gasping at the coldness of it under her palm. It was almost guaranteed that she didn’t listen and will ask again in a couple of minutes.

“Where are we going?” here we go again, her tiny voice reaching your ear above the roaring motor of the bus. She grabbed your leg as you were typing something on your phone with one hand, the other gripping the metallic bar as tight as possible as your daughter was not the most balanced child.

“Baby, I’ve told you many times that we are going to see Kevin and Jinseon at the coffee shop because Mommy and Uncle Kevin have to do something for work,” you looked at her with stern eyes, something you always did when she wasn’t paying attention.

“But why aren’t we going to their house? It’s so big!” she argued, and the bus doors opened, quickly sliding your phone in your back pocket and jumped out of the bus with your daughter in your arms.

“Uncle Kevin wants to change the interior of the house, so people work there, and it’s not safe for them and us to meet there. But I promise that we’ll go back there soon!”

“I won’t be able to draw with Jinseon?” you shook your head from side to side, and your daughter pouted, nuzzling her face in your neck.

“Not at his house, but maybe he brought a colouring book like yours today!” you exclaimed, and her mood lifted instantly, getting all giddy and happy to share her passion with her best friend.

Pushing the door of the coffee shop, you were instantly met with a reassuring warmth and the good smell of coffee, placing your daughter back on the ground as you lined up to order. The place was quite busy, but you were right before the time people were fighting to get a table.

“Mommy, this table!” she asked and pointed her little finger towards a table near the window, her little topknot moving on her head as she looked up at you.

“Good choice, baby,” you said, and she grabbed your hand again, noticing her gaze shifting to something scared. You frowned as she went to stand in front of you, her hands gripping your thighs as she stared up at you.

You asked for your usual order and a strawberry smoothie for your daughter, who happily giggled when she saw the sliced fruit inside of her transparent cup. She laughed and ran to the table you had agreed on occupying, her little hands pressed on the seat as she hoisted herself alone on it.

A few minutes after giving your daughter her pens and colouring books, your phone rang in your back pocket, getting you out of your bubble of focus as you stopped typing.

“Hello?” you said, and your best friend’s voice reached your ear.

“Hi Y/N, I’m really sorry to warn you only now, but I won’t be able to make it with Jinseon.” A wave of disappointment flooded your heart, but you didn’t raise it.

“Oh my. Did something happen?” you asked as your daughter was too busy colouring a monkey pink to even hear what you were talking about.

“Thankfully no, I uhm… I forgot that my in-laws invited us to a five-star restaurant today,” he said, and you bitterly chuckled, feeling sorry for him as you knew the exhausting relationship he had with them.

“Sounds fun,” you sarcastically said as you heard him sigh on the other side of the phone, “don’t worry, we can always meet up another time.”

“Won’t Chunae be disappointed?” Kevin asked, and you emitted a laugh, quickly looking to the side as someone at the table next to yours drew a chair.

“I’ll handle her, don’t worry about it. Have fun with your most favourite people in the world, then!” you sarcastically said, and you heard him sigh.

“Thanks, but I’d rather die than witnessing my mother-in-law brag againabout the new diamond necklace she bought and lie on how she’s not close to bankrupting,” you giggled and winked at your daughter, amused by the situation. That was what you got to have your stepson handling the family accounts and his best friend as an assistant counsellor. You both could see her lieto everyone, and it was funny.

“Try to make her understand that you know she’s lying in front of everyone else and see how she reacts,” you suggested and heard him gasp at your words.

“I beg you Y/N, can you please schedule us an appointment so I can ruin her?”

“Of course,” you opened another tab on your computer, typing and clicking on a few things to finally get to your best friend’s schedule.

“You can tell her that she can come on Friday at 1 pm to discuss about her financial state. I just sent her an email,” you announced, and Kevin sighed, imagining him biting his lower lip and clutch his fist in satisfaction.

“You’re the best. I gotta go now,” you took a sip of your drink and wished him good luck before hanging up.

“M-Mommy?” you heard your daughter whisper, barely making out her words as the coffee shop music and the hustling was quite loud. You smiled, but it immediately vanished as you saw her scared state, pen lingering on the pages of her colouring book. Her eyes were drawn to the table next to yours, her mouth trembling from time to time, close to crying.

Following her gaze, you noticed a man around your age and immediately understood your daughter’s fear as you took in the sight. The man was scrolling on his phone, his white t-shirt hugging his broad shoulders and slender torso perfectly. His biceps flexed each time he swiped up his finger on the screen or took a sip of coffee, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. You weren’t going to lie that he was super handsome, but something else couldn’t go unnoticed in your eyes.

His tattoos.

He was covered in them. Your eyes could scarcely spot some natural, intact skin. Arms, forearms, chest and neck, only his face remained untouched. His jet-black hair was as dark as his eyes, yet they still held something soft and human in them. A thin nose with plumped, pinkish lips, it would have been almost impossible for you to guess that he had tattoos all over his body if you only saw his face.

You found him quite attractive to say the least, but it was quite the opposite for your daughter. She found tattoos terrifying, only accepting the small, hidden ones Kevin had. Her eyes welled up with tears, and you gently called her name, gesturing her to come closer. She jumped out of her seat, carefully going around the table from the opposite side where the man was sitting and walked towards you.

“Baby, those are just tattoos. You see what you draw and colour in your books with Jinseon? This man decided to do it on his skin because he likes drawings too!” you explained gently as your daughter couldn’t tear her gaze off the man.

“But it’s scary,” she mumbled, and you shook your head, gently cradling her cheek.

“Do you find the drawings on Uncle Kevin’s skin scary?” you asked, and she disagreed, finally looking up at you.

“It’s the same for him. Like Uncle Kevin, he decided to get them on his skin because he likes the shapes and colours. Do you understand?” you smiled as she wiped her teary eyes, nodding, trying to look confident. But you knew your daughter, she was still scared.

“Do you want to switch seats with Mommy?”

“No,” she said in a frail voice, and you kissed her cheek while rubbing her back. It was always the same. Bizarrely, when she feared something, she wanted to stay close to it as if she was determined of getting over her irrational fear.

Chunae walked back on her seat and resumed colouring, her gaze looking to her left from time to time. You smiled and stared at your computer again, getting distracted by the man as well, but not for the same reasons as your daughter.

“You’re a mother Y/N, don’t let those stupid thoughts get inside your head,” you closed your eyes and mentally slapped yourself, heavily sighing as you answered some emails, focusing back on your work.

You were so concentrated on your tasks that you didn’t even notice what was happening in front of you. Chunae became terrified as the man caught her staring, his eyes transforming into crescent moons when he softly waved at her. Her eyes widened and started colouring faster, her nose almost touching the paper as if she wanted everything around her to disappear. It happened once, twice, but she remembered what you always told her; never talk to strangers. So when the young man whispered a small ‘hi!’ to her, she panicked and called for you.

“Mommy!” she got you out of your work bubble, and you stared at her from above your computer screen, fingers still typing on the computer. Your hands stopped when you noticed her little forefinger pointing at the man, whose chocolate eyes were quick to shift to yours.

Shit, he was really handsome.

“What is it, sweetpea?” you asked and lowered your computer screen. “I’m sorry for her behaviour, she’s not usually like that,” you said, grabbing her hand as you sent an apologetic smile to the man.

He shook his head with a smile. “Don’t worry about it, I get it. She’s still quite young,” you were sized by a shiver when two sets of white, perfectly aligned teeth almost blinded you as his mouth stretched into a bigger smile.

“I’m five!” she said, pouting, crossing her arms on her chest, staring at the table with furrowed brows.

The young man’s eyes widened, and pursed his lips, trying to hold back a smile as he acknowledged her stubbornness. You puffed and rolled your eyes at her behaviour, noticing with a smirk that she was still glancing at his tattoos.

“What’s your name?” he asked after looking at you, asking for permission. Your daughter’s unsure eyes stared at you, and you nodded, allowing her to talk to him.

“Ch-Chunae,” she answered, and his mouth transformed into a surprised ‘o’, letting out a small gasp.

“That’s a very pretty name, I’m Juyeon,” he said, and your daughter blushed, a veil of shyness appearing in her eyes as he held out his hand for her to shake it. You smiled as he indirectly complimented you for choosing her name, his gaze softening as she timidly grabbed his hand. Her eyes couldn’t help but scrutinise his tattooed hand with attention, making the man smile fondly and brightly.

“I have drawings all over my arms, do you want to see them?” he asked, keeping a great eye on you to see any sign of reluctance. Or maybe it was for something else, but you didn’t need to know about this.

“But they’re scary,” she said, and Juyeon whole-heartedly laughed, drawing the sleeve of his t-shirt to the top of his shoulder.

“Look at this one,” he said as he twisted his biceps, noticing a dragon spitting fire and your daughter’s eyes widened. He then turned his forearm to show her a dolphin near the crook of his elbow, smiling as he watched your daughter’s expression change as she saw all his tattoos on his arms. She was now mesmerised by the tattoos, the gentle, deep voice of the man explaining to her as she stared at his inked arms.

“Do you wanna colour this one?” he asked, finger showing the rose on the back of his hand.

“Really?” Chunae was surprised by his question, and Juyeon smiled at you, your daughter already grabbing her red pen.

“You really don’t have to,” you embarrassingly said, but the man shook his head, resting his large hand in front of your daughter, who pushed all her belongings to the side.

“If that can keep her quiet while you work, I don’t mind,” he stated, and you raised your eyebrows, a grateful smile drawn on your face.

Colouring the red rose ended up inking the poor man’s entire arm, who had a lot of patience and discipline when it came to children. Chunae went over the line with her pen a few times, only to have him reassure and praise her to continue when she started feeling guilty.

“Oh no!” she gasped as her hand clumsily went over the scales of the snake circling his forearm, Juyeon chuckling before wetting his thumb to erase the misdrawn ink.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, keep going,” he said in a gentle tone, smiling at your daughter as she was looking for reassurance.

You had told him a few times that he didn’t have to stay the entire day only here to occupy your daughter, but he genuinely was alright with that. He looked almost happy to talk with you and your daughter since you had stopped working a few moments ago to exchange a few words of politeness with him before heading home.

“Chunae, finish your smoothie before we go home,” you said, and she obeyed, nodding as she placed her pen down and started sipping on her drink.

“I’m really sorry for this,” you gestured to his arms, but he was quick to cut you.

“Ma’am, it’s okay, please stop apologising, I gave my agreement for her to do this. You seem like busy parents with your husband, I’m glad I could help,” he smiled, and you frowned.

“H-Husband?” you asked and Juyeon’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“O-oh? Wasn’t it your husband on the phone?” you shook your head at his words, only to have him purse his lips in utter embarrassment. “Sorry for assuming,” he said, the tip of his ears turning pink just like his cheeks.

“It’s okay, it was my best friend. I’m actually a single mom,” you explained, and he nodded, his features expressing admiration.

“Wow, you must be super strong then,” he said, and you blinked a few times, discerning something sad appearing in his eyes as he stared at your daughter. It was inappropriate and way too intrusive to ask him about his reaction, so you just offered him a grateful smile.

“I have to admit that it’s not always easy being alone in this, but with a bit of discipline and organisation, you can manage to make it work!” you tried to enlighten the mood, and Juyeon laughed along, but his smile had lost its splendour.

He cleared his throat, and you stood up, your daughter being finally done with her smoothie. You helped her place her pens in the pouch before clearing your belongings off the table, Juyeon standing up as well.

“Will I get to colour your tattoos again?” Chunae asked, and you looked at her sternly, but Juyeonlaughed and smiled, gently ruffling her hair.

“This only depends on if your Mommy wants to see me again,” Juyeoncrouched down to her level and made sure to get her hair out of the way before zipping her light jacket up to the chin.

You were taken aback by his answer, looking at him in the eyes. Vaguely smiling, he stood back up and stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets, thumbs playing with the belt loops as he waited for your answer. You breathed in heavily as you stared around you but in his eyes, trying to find an excuse.

“I mean… why not?” you eventually said, and his face brightened, his ears going pink at your answer. You grabbed your daughter’s hand as she was about to run to Juyeon and walked to the exit of the coffee shop, not believing what you’ve just agreed to.

Meeting a man? After your ex? With all the work and busy life that you had? Were you crazy?

Juyeonheld out the door for you, and you thanked him, your daughter now almost best friend with the man she feared when he appeared. You sighed and replaced your bag on your shoulder, offering a soft smile to the man.

“Is it okay if we wait a bit before all of… this? I have the deadline of a big project that is coming up next week and it has a considerable influence on the future of my career, I really don’t want to mess it up,” you explained, and Juyeonnodded, his hand going to your bag to shove your key ring back inside since it was falling out.

“It’s more than okay, I’ll wait as long as it takes you to finish this and be ready to meet up with me,” he said, and your mouth fell open, surprised by his attitude. The last man you dated and loved unconditionally dropped the family he had created with you for a career abroad and another woman, his words and behaviour offering warmth to your broken, lonely heart.

You got your phone out and took Juyeon’s number, a relieved smile painted on your face. Maybe not all the men were as selfish and nasty as your ex.

“Call me if you need anything. It can be help, someone to look after her, comfort. Whatever you need, I’ll try to help you out as much as I can,” he said and rested a hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing it.

“Thank you,” you said, and he nodded with a smile.

“Good luck with everything,” you beamed and waved at him, your daughter imitating you as you started walking to the bus stop, hailing the vehicle as it was approaching.

Juyeonwalked in the opposite way to the small parking lot in front of the coffee shop, his leg swinging over his motorcycle. He sat there for a minute, watching you get on the bus before the doors closing behind you, holding his helmet in hand. You were a busy, ambitious woman, you had set your priorities high, and you were not going to change them for a man. He was a bit scared of committing to a relationship with a busy woman and a child, yet that didn’t prevent him from wanting to get to know you and finding you attractive. He loved it even if he was a bit anxious about getting hurt, as it happened in his past way too many times to his likings.

His gloved hand moved side to side as the bus drove past him, your daughter on your hip as you both waved at him. The smile you had plastered on your face reassured him, hoping that you would give his heart a break and not break it.

something you should know | l. juyeon

pairing: bff!juyeon x fem!reader
wc: 1'887 words
synopsis: juyeon comes home crying, but it doesn’t end up in the way you thought it would.
genre: angstish at first, then fluff
tw: a big one; badly written
a/n: hi pals! merry Christmas to the ones who are celebrating it, i hope you’re having a great time with your loved ones! <33
i really tried my best to write something to keep the account alive because i don’t want it to go to waste, I’m still so attached to it… i hope you’re gonna like it despite my absence, i can’t promise you that I’ll be back on here soon! I’m still pretty exhausted and unmotivated, but I’ll still come to say something for the new year, don’t worry!! love y'all, take care <3

╰☆☆☆☆╮

The door gently slams shut, and you close the book you had in your hands before placing it down on the coffee table, head resting on the armrest as you stretched your toes to try and reach the other end. You groaned and let out a heavy breath when your best friend appeared in the doorframe, a weary, sad look painted on his face.

“Hi,Ju,” you whispered after stifling a yawn more quickly than you had intended to as you noticed that something was wrong.
“‘Sup,” his voice was joyless, and it made you frown.

This was unusual…

He drops his bag in the corridor before entering the living room, pushing the coffee table forward and plopping on the floor, head at the same level as your stomach. You retracted your legs and hummed, trying to lure him to get on the couch instead, but he refused.

Your heart skips a beat in worry as he throws his head back in a sigh heavy with emotions, craning his neck to try and find a surface to rest on. You shifted, and he lets out a light hum of satisfaction as the back of his head rests against your side.

“Is everything okay?” you whisper, and you’re met with silence, noticing that your best friend’s eyes were closed, his jaw tightening at your question.
“Not really,” his deep voice eventually echoed in the room as it was filled with distress, making you sit up and slide down on the floor next to him, your back against the couch. His mouth twitched in a very brief smile as your knees touched, his Adam apple going up and down as he was trying not to let any emotion show on his face.

You give him a gentle, reassuring smile, shifting to the side to press your hand on his shoulder, “you can tell me anything if you need it. You know I’m here for you,” you mumbled, and he nodded, jaws jolting as he desperately tries to remain stoic.

Juyeondeeply breathes in and clears his throat, wiping his clammy palms on the fabric of his black Adidas sweats. He looks to the side opposite yours, clearly avoiding your eyes to hide his pursed, quivering lips, knowing that it would worry you even more. And that’s something that he didn’t want to see. At least, not now.

“Can-” his voice broke, and he swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath in, “sorry, can you give me a hug? No, one of your head massages, please? I think I really need one right now, they’re so relaxing,” his voice was above a whisper, and you immediately agreed, your hand not leaving his shoulder as you crawl back on the couch, Juyeon’s back resting in between your legs.
“Sit a bit lower- there you go, perfect. Are you comfortable?” you asked, and he hummed, the side of his head resting against your inner thigh. He sighs in relief as you work your fingers through his hair, wrapping his arm around your calf, finding solace in this form of physical touch.

You had scraped him off the ground after he came back to your shared apartment, unconsolable and face drenched with tears as he had just gotten into a fight with his parents over his choice of career. They wanted him to become a lawyer or something that 'paid well’, arguing that he could keep dancing as a hobby. But Juyeondidn’t want that. He wanted to keep dancing in the streets till he got recognised and scouted by a company.

And that’s exactly what happened, and now he was a famous dancer in your town, attending worldwide-recognised competitions, earning a good amount of cash prize at each victory. And after that fight, you had consoled him, held him tight in your arms till he fell asleep, your hands working in his hair as you tenderly massaged his scalp. Since then, whenever he was feeling lethargic or depressed, he always asked for your head massages, helping him go to sleep and forget about his sorrow.

You stayed in silence for a few minutes, your hand still working in his hair as you feel him grow heavier against your leg. It was working like magic, he felt more relaxed, but he couldn’t prevent the tears from escaping from his eyes, out of pure exhaustion. A frown appeared on your face as scattered wet patches grew on the bottom part of the right leg of your sweatpants, hand falling on his shoulder to shake him.

“Ju? Why are you crying?” you mumbled, and he just weakly shrugged with a big sigh, mentally cursing himself for not wiping them sooner. He crouched up and plopped himself down next to you, his head falling on your lap.

Pushing some jet-black strands of hair away from his eyes, you loved the intimacy that you were currently sharing, yet you hated the sight of your best friend’s eyes turning glossy with tears and staring into the void as you tried to make him speak up and get his problems off his chest. He closed his eyes as you started stroking his scalp again, your fingers hitting all the tensed nerves that were making him act this type of way.

Soon enough, his eyes fluttered close, and his breathing pattern became more regular, happy that he was relieved from a part of his suffering now that he was asleep. In his slumber, Juyeonturned to the side to face your stomach, his arms wrapping around your middle as he sighed in content when his subconscious self felt your hand linger in his dark locks, playing with the spikey hair of his light undercut.

You observed your best friend with a comforting smile painted on your face as if you wanted it to be the first thing he’d see when he’d open his eyes. Even if your mind screamed not to do it, you couldn’t resist the temptation of trailing your hand lower, going from his scalp down to his face. Caressing his high cheekbones, the tip of your forefinger followed the shape of his thin nose, feeling the soft, dampened skin under the pad of your finger.

Juyeonheavily breathed as you followed along his jaw, digits hovering above his cupid bow, hesitating to feel his lips as his philtrum was tickling them due to not shaving for a few days. His lips just looked so pretty, feeling happy and complete when they were on your forehead or temple, the rare occasions where your best friend showed physical affection.

You quickly retracted your hand as Juyeonshuffled,“Y/N,” he grunted, head moving to try and find another more comfortable spot on your lap.
“Yes, I’m right here,” you whispered, and Juyeonheld you tighter, nose nuzzling further against your side and digging inside your shirt. “Ksfhgfyou,” he mumbled in the fabric, and you giggled, flattening your top to free your best friend’s face.
“What did you say?” you smiled, and he drowsily grunted, feeling disturbed by how shaky you got since you started laughing.
“I love you,” he mumbled again, and you immediately froze on your spot, his three words acting like a cold shower on you.

What did he just say?

“W-What?” your eyes opened wide, and your jaw fell, expecting everything from him but this. Your heart started hammering faster in your chest, and your whole body felt hot, the surprise and excitement washing over your body like a tidal wave.

Juyeonopened one eye to look at you, gauging your reaction. He could tell that you were excited, but he just wanted to make sure that his exhaustion wasn’t making him hallucinate and hear wrong things.

“I… love you?” he said, more hesitantly, swallowing thickly after clearing his throat.

Helovedyou.

It took you a few long seconds to answer, your mind too clouded by many thoughts. All those times that you spent together, laughing and taking care of the other, weren’t just a best friend thing? How long has it been going for? Since the beginning? Since last year, when you surprised him with your presence at his key competition, the important one, which would decide if he was good enough to be the dancer he had always dreamt to become?

“Y/N… Please say something, the silence is getting too loud,”Juyeonwhined as he hoisted himself up on one arm, his warmth on your lap immediately bringing you back to your senses.

Smiling brightly, you cradled his cheeks with both hands and looked in his big doe eyes that you loved so much, your thumbs caressing the remaining of the dry, salty tears on his cheeks. He was about to speak again when you pressed your lips against his, closing your eyes as you felt yourself ascending. They felt so soft and plush against yours, you immediately melted into the kiss as he wrapped his arm around your middle.

Your mouths still dancing together, he gently pushed you down, your body lying in the same position as when he walked through the door. His hand rested at the back of your head as it rested against the armrest, Juyeonpositioning himself between your legs. The proximity you shared with him was enough to make you shiver, wrapping your arms around his neck to keep him close.

Pulling away for oxygen, your eyes fluttered shut as you breathed in deeply, his sudden confession and the amazing kiss you’ve just shared making you struggle to breathe correctly and had your heart beating faster. Juyeonkissed your eyelids as you gently gasped for air, his nose nudging some hair strands that were landing in your eyes.

Once you reopened them, you smiled at each other, Juyeondiving back down to press his lips against yours in a soft kiss before pulling away, rubbing your noses together.

“I love you too,” you breathed, and his sadness had vanished after he heard those few words, his mouth lingering on your forehead before retracting himself to rest his head on your stomach, his large hands resting on your sides as yours were on his head, again.

“I wish I had confessed earlier,” he admitted, voice sending vibrations through your body, butterflies erupting in your stomach. “I think I fell in love with you when you jumped into my arms the day of your exam results,” your mouth fell open as it happened almost two years ago, your hand stopping in his hair in surprise.

You cleared your throat, tilting your head for Juyeonto notice it and look up at you, “Ju, let’s make it up for the lost time. We should catch up those two years that we could’ve spent as a couple,” you declared and smiled as he upheaved himself on his hands on each side of you, looking at you with stars gleaming in his eyes. You internally laughed as he couldn’t stay in a position, always in the need to look at you when he talked.

“You’re right. What should we start with, then?” He asked. Smiling, you caressed his cheek, and he moved his head to kiss your palm, “Kiss me as if we spent those last two years apart,” you mumbled, and he didn’t need to be asked twice, diving on your lips again.

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance! juyeon 
birthday present for him and one of my best friends! | tw: drowning 

• a soft splash of water cascades down the side of your arm and you turn your head, still floating, to see eric waving you toward him
• flipping over, you dive down into the ocean and push yourself toward his direction
• coming up for air - you see his eyes sparkle as he whispers, “let’s go scare chanhee!”
• you scrunch up your nose and tell eric that’s not nice but he just insists he has to get back at him. did you forget the incident at the beach two days ago? you know, with the ice-cream?
• you roll your eyes - recalling some argument over chanhee grabbing the last mango pop or something - but eric is gone before you can answer
• you watch him doggy paddle to where chanhee and younghoon are - wrapping his arms around the other boy and pulling him down into the water
• the shouts of shock and laughter wring around you like bells, everything is so happy and sweet, just how summer should be like
• but something feels weirdly empty 
• you look up to your left where some of your other friends are, cuddled up against each other, even in the heat people in love just gravitate to each other
• to your right are strangers, strangers clearly in the middle of their own summertime loves
• all of a sudden - in the middle of a crowded, bustling ocean - you are hit with loneliness
• when am i going to find someone who loves me?
• you sink a little down, haloed by the oceans water, when you hear another sound
• this one isn’t joyful, in fact it sounds like terror, and you turn to see a flaying hand only a couple of meters away
• your body freezes - is that person drowning? - your muscles act before you do, propelling you down back into the water and toward the murky outline of the figure
• you’re a decent enough swimmer, making it to the person - a small boy - just in time to do something
• but do what? you’ve never saved someone before, do you carry him - do you -
• “help get him on my back!”
  
• the new voice comes from your side, you turn and see that you aren’t the only person who has made it to the boy
• this person, all cut angles and seriousness, is wearing the lifeguards whistle around his neck and a wave of relief overtakes you
• “ok!”
  
• you do as you’re instructed and the lifeguard tilts his head toward the shore
• you follow behind him and scramble up the sand - hand on the boys back as you watch everything play out in slow motion
• all you’re aware of is that you’re down beside the boy, you’re watching the lifeguard do CPR, his mother and father scurry over, people are talking and yelling
• then the boy jerks up - coughing and doubling over - the lifeguard is asking him something and you don’t even notice till everything is ok
• that you’re holding the boys hand in your own
• it’s a blur after that - after the parents thank you and the lifeguard, named juyeon, over and over.
• and now - you’re sitting in a small cabin off the boardwalk, the lifeguards cabin, and you’ve got a towel on your shoulders and eric is asking if you’re ok now
• you smile and say you are - just in the time for juyeon to come out of an adjoining office room and you get to look at him seriously for the first time 
• he’s tall, with wet dark hair pushed back from his forehead. 
• a light golden tint runs down through his muscular proportions and his eyes are … 
• they’re captivating 
• long and outlined by a perpetual darkness, long eyelashes to envy over, and a brown that almost looks onyx under the light
• he’s shirtless, wearing just the bright orange swim shorts and that whistle
• he comes over and crouches in front of you with a smile full of kindness, puts a hand on your knee that makes your entire body ignite
• “thank you for helping me today, whats your name?”
• eric answers for you and you’re thankful because up close his apparent beauty is way more to handle than you had imagined
• words - no matter how hard you try to think of one - don’t even manage to formulate in your mind
• that hand on your knee pats your skin, giving it a little squeeze before juyeon stands back up and says he’s gotta go back out - his shift isnt over
• eric thanks him and when he’s gone, you hear him chuckle
• “you know you’re drooling, right?”
  
• that summer - you go to the beach every damn day you can
• you tell your friends you’re just trying to get some workouts in, you know swimming uses all your body’s muscles
• but no one is fooled
• because you’re not the only one with what becomes known as “juyeon fever” around town
• he just moved here, took a summer job lifeguarding at the local beach, and - to only add to your dream boy list - drives a cool looking sports bike to and from work
• you get to the beach early one day, trying to hide your identity with a ridiculously sized sun hat and issue of the paper you stole from the grocery store - to see him pull up for his shift
• he’s wearing those swim shorts, same color as his bike, and a hawaiian print shirt in navy (unbuttoned and fluttering behind him as he pulls up and parks)
• he pulls the helmet off, shaking his hair lose, and you nearly curse to yourself - what is this? am i some extra in a movie all about juyeon, because he looks like the main character of a blockbuster for sure. baywatch level.
• when he turns in your direction - you hide behind the sunday sudoku and hope he doesn’t notice - but suddenly the sound of feet on sand get louder and louder
• he says your name and you try to compose yourself as you lower the paper
• you smile, and ask if juyeon is here to start work
• he plops himself freely down on the sand beside your towel and pushes the shirt off as he says he is, but he’s a little early
• you avert your gaze and even as the sun beats down on you both, you feel yourself freeze when juyeon mentions he’s seen you around the beach alot
• “well - it’s summer.”
  
• you explain and juyeon laughs, and even that sound is perfect
• “that’s true - the ocean is the best place to be in the summer…….and all the time.”
  
• you see him stare out at the calm waves, his usual sweet smile still on his face, but those eyes of his look like they’re searching through a memory
• “do you swim even in winter?”
  
• you joke and he laughs again, “i do, at the indoor pools. oh - by the way your friend eric invited me to a barbeque are you going to be there?”
• barbeque? what barbequ - your eyes widen as you remember that it is THAT barbeque the one you were supposed to come over and help set up
• “right, yes i am - i actually i promised id buy the plates and stuff so i have to go-”
  
• you scramble, rolling up your towel and reaching for your bag when juyeon says
• “oh - id give you a ride back but my shift starts in five. ill see you there then?”
• a ride on the back of your bike? - is what you want to ask, knees going weak at the thought - but all you do is nod, dumbfolded smile on your own face
• he waves as you make your way up the sun and you don’t even have time to get giddy because your phone rings and its exactly who you think it is.
• eric’s voice from the other side chides; “hey, where are you!? haknyeon just dropped the watermelon all over my kitchen!”
• you keep looking at your watch
• the little minute hand ticks to 11:39 and you wonder if juyeon is really going to come
• the party has already been going on for a good three hours - the summer moon sparkling up above the strings of lights in eric’s backyard
• everyone you know is already here and you know the public beach closes at 8:30 so it’s not as if juyeon is still on his shift
• not unless something bad happened………or he’s decided to skip out on the barbeque to go do something else, you know, which someone else-
• just as you set down your drink, little umbrella pathetically floating to the empty bottom, you hear the reave of a bike
• everyone else hears it too because the chatter gets more excited and you hear his name float from one person to another
• “is that juyeon?” “isn’t that the hot lifeguard?” “oh my god, do you think he’s single?”
• you try to hide your own anticipation - not cool to get so excited over a boy right? - but the butterflies flap in your stomach and you just turn away
• if he wants to talk to you he can come up to you and if he doesn’t then well it’s his -
• “hey, sorry im late - do you know where i can put these?”
• you turn and see juyeon there - for the first time he’s not wearing those neon swim shorts, but a pair of black denim jeans
• the shirt, still hawaiian print, is slightly buttoned this time but you can still clearly see the dip of his chest and the pretty silver chain that rests on the jut of his collarbones
• he waves the bags full of chips he picked up on his way over and you lead him toward the refreshments table, every pair of eyes on the two of you
• “did you get stuck at the beach?”
• you try to make conversation 
• “oh no, my bike had a flat tire so i had to get that fixed before i came over.”
• “oh! well eric is inside if you want to-”
• juyeon is looking at you, you can feel it because the intensity of his gaze is unmatched, and you don’t know why but you can’t meet it
• he tilts his head and then agrees - he’ll go see eric, but he’ll come back
• when he’s gone you let out the breath you’ve been holding and try to scurry away from the gazes that have wavered on you and juyeon the whole fifteen or so minutes he’s even been here
• you find solace inside, past the kitchen and near the back staircase where the guest bathroom is
• you’ve been in eric’s house enough times that you know it’s a perfect hiding spot so you don’t bother closing the door
• you just lean back against the sink and cross your arms - what are you going to do now? juyeon is here, but that doesn’t mean anything. 
• plus every last single person at this party has him on their radar
• what makes you any different? the fact that you helped him ONCE?
• and you didn’t even do anything that serious……you had just been there at the same moment he was……
• “ah - sorry, i didn’t know anyone was here.”
  
• you look up suddenly and juyeon is in front of you again
• he has this cute, flustered expression on his face - he starts saying something about how eric told him to use the mirror in here since the main bathroom might have a line in front of it and blah blah blah
• you step forward and you think it’s whatever was in that tiny little umbrella drink you had that makes you put a hand on juyeon’s shoulder and stop him mid sentence
• “can you take me on that bike ride now?”
  
• the second you ask - you think regret starts to bubble in your chest - but juyeon just breaks into another of those heart melting smiles
• “of course. i actually….” he scratches the back of his neck “i actually dont really like big parties.”
  
• you’re remembered of those lovers you had seen at the beach, tangled in each other despite the summer heat, as you press a little tighter against juyeon’s back
• the wind from the bike flutters your hair - and you feel his strong figure through the thin fabric of that ridiculous shirt he’s always wearing
• you close your eyes, thinking back to the shocked expression on everyones face as juyeon had pulled you through them and toward his parked bike
• how they had looked so confused - and eric had just shot you a thumbs up from the back step of his door
• your heart beats heavy in your ears and at the end of your fingertips you feel the flex of juyeon’s abs in response to your tight hold. it feels so intimate.
• juyeon stops at the only place you’d expect him too, the beach
• it looks serene and beautiful in the darkness of the summer night
• the sand isn’t as scorching as usual and the waves only kiss the shore slightly
• you and him walk down toward it - feet reaching just the edge before you run back to avoid getting wet
• juyeon laughs and runs toward you, strong arms picking you up and before you know it, you’re up in the air and dangling above the water
• you’re telling him to not let you go, no matter what and juyeon is chuckling promising over and over he won’t he won’t
• i will never let you go
• your laughing and playing around leaves you breathless, when you and juyeon lay back down on the sand and stare up at a starless sky
• just that summer moon glistening down on you both
• “why did you become a lifeguard by the way?” you ask - just to break the comfortable silence
  
• “because i love the ocean, but know it can be a scary place too.”
  
• you turn to look at his profile, even more perfect inches away
• “i like that about it, that it’s both beautiful and a little dangerous. i like things that have that duality.”
  
• “so you must like love too?”
  
• you don’t even mean to say it, it simply slips from your lips and juyeon turns to face you
• his smile turns to another expression, more earnest and soft
• “yes, i do.”
• you swallow, “ i do too, that’s why im looking for it.”
• the silence that follows is coated with the midnight waves and insects that come out only in the warm months
• before, when you couldn’t meet his gaze, you were just being shy and afraid
• now you are vulnerable and staring back - deep into those darker than the earth browns when suddenly his large hand comes gently up to your waist
• his eyes don’t leave yours, not until you’ve been pushed up flush against him in the sand and they close in time with yours as his lips ghost over yours
• polite, without having to be, he whispers - can i? and you whisper back - you can.
• the first kiss is chaste and pure, vanilla bean ice-cream flavored with a little speckle of a firework. 
• it’s after you breach this first step that you both decide you can do better than that.
• juyeon pulls you ontop of him, rolling his back deeper into the sand as you sit up on his hips and push your hands into the flimsy fabric of his shirt
• it gives way, off his broad shoulders and you lean down to press kisses down from the edge of his jawline to the curve of his long throat, and then down to his shoulders
• the entire time, his large hands seize you in place by your waist, he makes sounds of wordless pleasure and when you bite down into that perfect skin of his you feel like you’re marking an untouched beauty
• he runs one hand up to the back of your neck and he pulls you in back to his mouth
• sitting up easily as his tongue runs across the seal of your lips, you get yourself comfortable in the crook of his lap - pressed to the bare skin of his chest
• this kiss tastes of fiery spice, multiple fireworks - a whole parade 
• and when you grind down slightly juyeon makes an animalistic echo that runs from his lips to your spine and you think you could really just let him slip whatever you’re wearing off 
• but just as you separate to help him with the task, you hear the screech of a car pull up
• “who is there? the beach is closed!”
• you pull back off of juyeon and gather yourself up - juyeon jumps to his feet too and you turn to help him button his shirt back up so you two look like you haven’t just been making out for god knows how long
• the voice calls again, “hey - you two - you know the beach is closed right!”
• you see the officer’s figure and wave back
• “oh we didn’t know! we’ll leave in a moment!”
• the officer motions for you two to get back up to the street and you and juyeon try not to laugh as he lectures you two on public decency
• after that, juyeon drives you back on his bike and although you are more than willing to invite him back inside with you, all you do is share another kiss on your doorstep
• “i should at least take you on a date before, you know?” 
  
• he mutters against your lips and you roll your eyes - modesty in this day and age?
• “fine, but after that we have all summer.”
• and you do have all summer. despite the fact that half the towns population is seething with jealousy about it.
• you have the entire summer to bask in the unfiltered, sweet, and hot like the sun romance you have wished for for so long
• meeting up with juyeon after his shifts, taking bike rides to other towns, picnics, amusement parks, dates shopping because you need him out of that hawaiian shirt, and get togethers with your friends as everyone else who is coupled off sticks to their other half and you ……… you stick to yours, juyeon
• little kisses before he has to go to work - little hand touches when you’re sitting around eric’s dinner table playing monopoly as chanhee schemes you all out of your properties - arm around your waist when you go out to dinner
• and pressing close in the depths of his room or yours, the sound a symphony of little noises and the buzz of the fan on your naked skins
• its a summer that you only thought was possible in a movie or at least in someone elses life, not yours
• and when embarrassing tell juyeon about your theory that he’s the main character of a summer romcom blockbuster
• he looks at you clearly and smiles, “and so are you - since you’re my love interest right?”
• you feel a flush overtake you and you laugh, say something about how you’re not star quality, and juyeon just pulls you back into him
• “what are you talking about, you’re the only star for me.”
• and you don’t expect him to remember that little line all these years later
• when you’re standing with your toes in the sand, back at the beach you and juyeon fell in love with so long ago
• you point to the lifeguard chair and joke
• “i used to watch you and think you belonged on baywatch or something - you know everyone was in love with you right?”
  
• his hand is a comfortable, knowing weight on the curve of your waist
• “well i was only in love with you.”
  
• you scrunch your nose up and lean in to peck his lips
• “that’s sweet.”
  
• “i mean, you were the only star for me.” 
  
• you turn, juyeon’s face - still handsome even though more mature - seems to flash for a second with a look he had when you two were much younger
• “the only star for me then and now.” 
  

find other love struck!aus here:monsta x|day6|ateez
*this post was commissioned through kofi

sangyeon

• confident sangyeon spends half the day flirting with you
• then shy sangyeon spends the rest of the day running embarrassment laps around the creker building
• he has high spikes of adrenaline where its just quite literally circling you with hearts in his eyes and doves singing 
• and then low long silent moments where he sits in a corner, muttering at the wall and everyone is like what is going on with him
• if he could he might just spend eternity flip-flopping between the two
• it’d take an intervention to get him to just seize the opportunity during one of his more positive moods to just ask you on a date
• the only problem is he talks so fast and so jumbled and waves his hands around 
• and you’re like wh-
• and he’s like datetommorrowcoffeeorteawhichdoyoupreferdoyounotevenwanteitherwhataboutumlikeamoviepleasesayyes
• once again you are like ?
• and sangyeons meter of confidence is slowly depleting hes about to run away until sunwoo is like 
• let me step in and translate: 
• sangyeon wants to go on a date with you tomorrow
• when you brighten up and accept, sangyeon just breathes a sigh of relief and maybe almost tips over from the intense amount of feelings hitting him at once lol

jacob

• no one takes him seriously when he starts saying he likes you
• not because you’re unlikable but because jacob says it with such normalcy that everyone is like
• nah
• if you liked them, you would definitely be all mushy and shy and embarrassed about it
• and jacob is like what are you talking about im not embarrassed to have a crush on someone i think is really awesome 
• even kevin is like dude don’t push it - you shouldnt make jokes about liking people
• and jacob is just like *blinks*
• but seriously, everyone expects him to be writing lyrics in secret and practicing some kind of grand serenade to ask you out - like you’re literally an angel dude so you have to like someone in the most cupid-esque way possible
• which jacob is just like :/ about because there’s no right way to show someone how much you like them-
• juyeon: sorry what i was not listening?
• you on the other hand, don’t ever even catch wind of it because jacob is so sweet at all times
• polite, caring, gentle touches, lots of eye contact, little smiles that make your heart melt, the usual
• that you just assume he’s like this to everyone so of course you are clueless and his lack of grandiose confessions is making everyone else clueless too
• until one day jacob is like fine if no one believes me ill just tell them a
• nd everyone in the room is like pfft would love to see you try-
• three seconds later jacob is standing in front of you and saying “want to date me?” and you’re so shocked you can’t speak
• but the rest of tbz is so shocked at least three of them nearly faint 

younghoon

• keeps his mouth shut
• literally like shut shut like not a WORD to you or to anyone in a five foot distance of you
• he’ll be talking to chanhee about something and you’ll walk in and suddenly younghoon just hits pause
• chanhee is like hello are you broken hello and younghoon is just _____
• until you walk out of the room and then he’s like
• “-that’s why i think we shouldn’t include that dance move”
  
• and chanhee is like what the hael just happened
• you will be in a conversation and pull younghoon over to join you and when you’re like what do you think!!!!!!!1
• he looks at you and the cognitive function for speech just disappears 
• maybe its your cute face accelerating his heartbeat or maybe its the all the nerves in his body going haywire because all he wants to say is how much he really really likes you
• but he can’t just SAY that so instead he says nothing
• sometimes he’s lucky and members who understand this younghoon lovestruck glitch are around can save him
• but sometimes its just you and him and silence until youre like ok- well-
• you think maybe he just doesnt want to talk to you because he doesnt like you
• so you apologize for bothering him
• and its like everything that has ever blocked him from speaking before just flies out the window
• because suddenly younghoon is holding your hands in his and saying
• “no, im sorry. i just dont know what to say because i like you so much.”
  
• it’s the longest sentence you’ve ever heard from him
• and you are so flustered but all you can say back is
• “you can keep saying ‘i like you’ if you want………..”
• younghoon for the rest of the week: i like you
• you: giddy
• tbz: kinda wishing he’d shut it again 

hyunjae

• there’s no lovestruck period, it’s straight up infatuation from day ONE
• and it comes at full force
• hyunjae is like bubblegum, stuck to you and only you
• sugary sweet and always reminding you that he is available whenever you decided you want to take him
• it can really overwhelm someone, because his attention is fixated and forthcoming
• and i mean you’d really have to lack all the common sense in the world not to see that he’s interested
• but that’s the thing interest is not always a form of sincerity so you just kind of chalk it up to him trying to be funny
• and he sprawls across your lap like a cat
• happy with the fact that you just giggle and smile because ok you might never believe that he’s so in love with you it hurts but at least you still let him near you
• really people probably ask you if you’re dating him and when you say you’re not their follow up is usually like well arent you exhausted having someone you dont love always around
• and you’re like um - no well - i mean - and you are like ok i mean i do love him but im not going to be a fool and fall into a trap of thinking im special
• and hyunjae will literally be like they are special. i feel nothing for anyone else, it is just them
• and you’re like see! he’s so sweet!
• and at some point i think you either drive hyunjae crazy and he kisses you because words are pointless - actions are everything
• or chanhee pushes you two into each other from pure, unfiltered annoyance 
• “if you love each other stop pretending like it’s a big joke and just DATE!”
  

juyeon

• return to kindergarten romance
• literally he sees you and goes pink to the ears and slinks behind his friends even though he’s taller than most of them
• and he can barely hide the fact that he jumps over the rainbow when your shoulders brush in the halls
• if no one knew any better, juyeon probably scribbles your name in hearts on a notebook page somewhere
• but then crumples it up and almost eats it if anyone tries to see what he’s up to
• but again you enter the vicinity and he’s goo - muttering and forgetting to string nouns to verbs or whatever
• everyone is so amazed that someone with so much charisma on stage can turn this goddamn goofy around someone he likes
• and you are energetic and bright - you always want to pull juyeon into the loop - and you think the flustered look on his face is just from genuine surprise or confusion
• and you’re like “oh! let me explain what we’re doing blah blah blah” and yes juyeon knows you guys are going to play monopoly but like words? dont? come ? out ? of ? his ? mouth?
• and just like kindergarten he probably ends up writing you a note about how much he likes you (tick this box for yes and this box for no) or some form of that
• maybe like a text where he is like hi do you want to go on a date and it was actually supposed to be like a ten page essay about why he likes you but then he got too nervous to send it so yeah
• its a text that comes out of the blue and when you agree and see juyeon in person the next day you’re like why didn’t you just ask me like months ago
• and once again, words? dont? come? out? of? his? mouth?

kevin

• gift giving
• nonstop gift giving
• like to a point where jacob is worried about kevin’s spending habits 
• but it is all like handmade items and cute stuff he sees that reminds him of you 
• and everyone knows he has a crush before he can even process it because they’re doing a show halfway across the country and everyone is like practicing or doing something on their own
• and kevin’s like guys look i saw this in a shop and it reminded me of-
• all of tbz looking at him like: we know who it reminded you of
• he plays it off though when he gives you the gifts, he’s like ah this was just like in my bag or whatever or oh i made this extra keychain when i had a day off like do you want it
• and kevin thinks he is so sly and covering it up so damn well but he isn’t 
• you try to give gifts back, mostly because you feel bad that he’s always offering something to you
• and one day you are like - at first as a kind of jest - like “here ill just give you myself in return” 
• and you throw your arms around his neck like you’ve done a million times before and oh shit you think kevin is going to pass out with how fast his heart starts beating and how he overheats
• and you’re like kevin?!??!?! are you ok!?!??! and he’s like areyouserious
• and you’re like wh and he’s like are you serious about that,,,,and you’re like oh well i mean do you even want someone like me
• and kevin unblinkingly is like of course you are the only person i want
• and suddenly you realize that these gifts youve been getting are kevin’s love language and its so freaking cute
• (but also stop spending money just give kisses instead) (kevin agrees but he is still like im buying you anything cute i see because u are cute and cute people deserve cute things we love kevin moon logic)

changmin

• ignores his feelings by throwing himself into his work
• much to the surprise of no one, because he’s naturally a workoholic and perfectionist, but this time something is off
• no one should be beating themselves up over such miniscule mistakes like he is
• and hyunjae is convinced changmin has finally lost it, like the goddamn lid has flew off the kettle with this one
• because they finish practice and everyone is clapping and changmin looks like he’s going to crush the speakers with his bare hands
• less lovestruck as he is loveconfused because the real reason he’s so upset is like
• he wants to focus so hard on being a great performer and whatnot but when he shuts his eyes or takes a moment to breath
• his brain is fuzzy with thoughts of you and not like super romantic flowery thoughts like you see in movies or read in comics
• its just little snapshots of you being,,,,,,,,,,,you
• laughing along with eric, fixing the hem of your shirt in the mirror, waving at changmin before looking both ways and crossing the street to his side
• GOD WHEN HAS SOMEONE CROSSING THE STREET MADE HIS HEART DO A BACKFLIP
• the worst thing is he can’t seem to find a way for it to stop until like you are actually in front of him
• like the real you - not the memories and thoughts he has daily of you - no just you
• and you’re putting your hands on his face and he’s sweaty and hot from dancing for god knows how long and you’re like 
• “don’t wear yourself out like this, take care of yourself - if you don’t want to do it for you - can you do it for me?”
  
• and changmin realizes oh right - for you, for you he could move mountains, for you he could fly, like seriously for you he could do anything
• and he thinks he just says this to himself but he just said it outloud and somewhere in the room hyunjae is slapping his knee like
• “AH! he’s not nuts - he’s just in love.”

chanhee

• falls head over heels for you and expects you to read his mind about it
• you walk into a room and he sits up a little straighter and is like ok one step two step ok come over to me, look at me, pay attention to me
• and you - because you are not a mindreader - go to talk to juyeon first
• and chanhee is like OH I SEE HOW IT IS and gets all moody there on out
• honest to god he probably knows he’s overreacting but he just does not get why you cant tell how he’s feeling
• and he asks like everyone this question and theyre like what? because you aren’t making it obvious at all?
• and chanhee is like what the hell do you mean i totally make it obvious and everyone is like did you ask them out? did you get them a gift? did you compliment them?
• and chanhee crosses his arms like no……but like……i smiled at them in a way i dont smile at the rest of you clowns
• tbz: :/ 
• either way, you start to notice this pattern, that when chanhee is not getting your attention he gets a little like a cat and curls himself away from you
• so you, much like one with a cat, start to shower him in attention
• and he just uncurls and gets all giddy and swats anyone away who tries to get into your little bubble with him
• and its a bit entertaining really lol but you think its just chanhee being chanhee
• till it keeps happening over and over and over again and you’re like ok wait
• and chanhee is like hmm and you’re like why dont we just go somewhere alone together like on a date or something if thats what you like so much
• and chanhee, who has been under the suspicion you have been going on dates sitting together in the tbz practice room is like 
• “oh right! a date, um i guess sure!”
• inside he is screaming 

haknyeon

• does not waste time, he puts his detective hat on and makes a plan
• for one of the youngest members he probably puts the most diligence into liking someone 
• its not just lovestruck butterflies and running away whenever you’re around
• haknyeon swats all that gooey-mushy stuff away and is like ok lets see what movies do you like? what kind of food do you like? he has to know so that when he asks you out he is ready to impress
• it shocks some of his other members, sangyeon has never seen haknyeon almost bite younghoon’s hand when he tried to as him to get off the shared desktop
• haknyeon just wants to know everything about you - which kevin says he could probably do by talking more to you
• and haknyeon is like go away grandpa and kevin is like WH-
• either way, when it all comes to a head and haknyeon has memorized what he’s going to say in his confession to you for the one millionth time
• he does not prepare for what actually happnes
• which is you bound up to him with your arms open and you’re like let’s hang out! just the two of us!
• and he’s like ok ill go get the other- wait
• haknyeon.exe has stopped working
• because truth be told he’d spend so much time trying to research and be perfect when all you really like about him is how fun and eccentric he can be
• so you just ask him out first and this was not in the plan, but haknyeon is not about to let go of your warm hand as you pull him along beside you

sunwoo

• swears to deny it to his grave because one) it’s embarrassing and………no that’s it. it is embarrassing to have feelings
• jacob: feelings aren’t embarrassing! they’re the reason we can care so deeply about others <3
• sunwoo: ok nerd……..keep it moving
• and unlike younghoon who just goes silent around the people he likes or juyeon who tries to find sangyeon to hide behind 
• sunwoo just straight up is like cold. and you are like what didi i do?
• everyone is just like he’s complicated, it’s just who he is and he’s young so just ignore him
• but it makes you sad that sunwoo just doesn’t want to be your friend
• and in sunwoo’s head he’s like I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DREAM PERSON BUT THATS SO FREAKING CORNY TO SAY SO LET ME JUST MAKE GRUMPY FACE
• he also has such a bad luck, even when he’s not trying to come off mean he probably accidentally spills something on you or breaks something of yours
• and instead APOLOGIZING like everyone is telling him to do he just yoinks out of the room and you’re like damn :( 
• to be honest, i think the more you guys get distant the more sunwoo falls deeper into it because even with everything
• you are always so kind and sweet and how? like how? how are you doing that?
• it probably takes a miracle or actually just like someone spilling the beans to you that sunwoo stayed up all night trying to fix the bracelet of yours he broke for it to all change
• for you to find sunwoo and hug him and thank him for trying to fix it and the minute you touch him its like 
• all these stupid little walls he built melt into nothing and sunwoo is just like i like you so much im sorry im so dumb and you’re like
• well you’re like shocked but youre like im sorry i also like you and im also dumb sometimes
• both of you standing there wide eyed but also like super super super giddy
• one day you aren’t even talking to each other the next day you are cuddling on the couch
• kevin: these people are giving me literal whiplash 

eric

• thinks you’ll never feel the same way so he does the next best thing, he tries to be your bestest friend
• for someone so spunky and confident in himself most of the time you’d think lovestruck eric would just GO for it
• but more than he is like outgoing and brave, he is devoted to people he loves
• and losing you as a friend over confessing his feelings would probably spiral him into a dark place
• so he’ll just take his spot as a super close friend, and horrible wingman 
• who tries to get you to admit that you like someone in the group when you have told eric ten times no you dont like changmin like that and yes juyeon is cute but youre not interested
• and eric just wants you to be happy and he thinks youre lying and keeping it from him because like you think it would be weird to date someone in tbz
• and he’s like cmon tell me! or do you like someone from skz, im friends with felix - do you think he’s cute
• and at some point it wears you down and you are just like over to play video games and have fun with eric
• and he’s like hey felix said you were pretty when i showed him a photo and you are like ERIC LISTEN TO ME and he’s like blinking like oh?
• and you’re like i do like someone but its you and so since that isnt going to happen lets move on
• and eric is like lets not move on because from the minute i saw you i thought cupid lodged an arrow so deep in my heart its been stuck their permanently and yes i watched hercules last night so i made that analogy isn’t it about time you kissed me so i would shuttup?
• and when you do you’re like ok i have wanted to do that SO many times and he’s like well you should have
• and youre like dont be sassy i will bring up every oppurtunity you tried to hook me up with your group member if you do and he’s like
• i will shut my mouth forever if that is what you wish <3

☆ friends-to-lovers!eric au
tw:quite a bit of angst and unrequited love, suggestive themes, breakups, and alcohol

“when we went to the history museum for our last trip of eighth grade, eric and i snuck off into the egypt exhibit. we were the only ones there and i had never seen eric so afraid - so raw and vulnerable and clinging onto me for dear life - he was taller than me back then, yet he felt so small like i should have held him my palm and closed my fingers. i wanted nothing more than to keep him safe.”

• eric doesn’t understand how to convert improper fractions to mixed numbers and that’s the real reason why he becomes your best friend in the tenderfoot walls of your sixth-grade classroom
• you like math and eric gags when you say that
• he has friends everywhere and you only really talk and hang out with two other people
• it shouldn’t work, but it does
• you mumble divide the numerator by the denominator in the shy voice of someone who still has a curfew
• eric goes “OH!” like you’ve just told him the secret to life
• in high school you become more open and confident
• eric helps a lot with that, he pulls you out from the shadows, and soon enough you aren’t afraid of the light that shines brightly from other peoples attention
• you still really like math and eric still really hates it
• you spend all four years over at his place before math tests trying to teach him the entirety of a months curriculum in the span of two hours
• it’s enough that he doesn’t flunk any of his core classes - but you admit that most of the studying is just an excuse to hang out and watch tv and talk about all the gossip that happens when you’re sixteen and have nothing to lose
• it’s also in high school that you get your first boyfriend
• and it’s in high school that eric realizes
• oh shit, im in love with them?
• it happens over spring break, eric bikes past your house and stops to ask your parents if you’re home
• your mother touches his shoulder softly and singsongs about how you’re out on a date with some boy you met at the mall
• eric learns about changmin when class starts again and you have hearts in your eyes and people are gasping when you walk by in the halls because changmin is in the year above you and he’s on the school’s tennis team
• eric doesn’t think that’s impressive, he’s on the soccer team and he can skateboard
• he says this to sunwoo who eats his lunch in total silence as eric runs his mouth a mile a minute about every little thing he doesn’t seem to like about changmin
• “have you ever even talked to him?”
• sunwoo finally points out, mouth half full of rice, and eric scrunches up his nose just at the notion
• “no.”
• “then how do you know he’s all those horrible things?”
• eric picks his board up and leaves his lunch on the table to stalk off in response
• sunwoo rolls his eyes and reaches for the leftovers
• the big green monster that eric doesn’t yet understand completely is jealousy rages on for the month you date changmin
• eric hates that he isn’t happy for you like everyone else seems to be and he wishes he could actually feel something that isn’t a thunderstorm of anger, shame, and loneliness
• he gets told it’s puberty - his body shakes its head and explains that heartbreak can be a fickle thing
• “don’t be stupid, sixteen-year-olds don’t fall in love.”
• your friend says to you when eric passes you in the hall in tears
• he doesn’t stop the natural reaction to squeeze past all the mumbling bodies to get to you and wrap his hands around your wrists
• “eric?”
• your voice is small and he hasn’t properly spoken to you since you and changmin became….whatever
• he’s been doing so fucking bad in math
• “what happened?”
• “changmin and i broke up……he broke up with me….i don’t know what i did wrong?”
• eric confronts changmin who is laughing with some other upperclassmen outside of the gym, eric is shorter but he has slightly more muscle
• of course - he’s never been in a fight in his life
• and when he asks changmin, what the hell his problem is, changmin doesn’t get all in his face like eric thinks he should - like boys do in movies
• his eyes just soften a little and he tells eric that he likes you, he does, but it’s just he likes someone else a little more
• eric doesn’t wrap his head around that answer - who could changmin, actually who could anyone in the world, like more than you?
• you’re smart and you’re kind and you’re always putting other people first and you have lips that look like they’d taste faintly of peaches and eric lays in bed every day thinking about what it would be like to touch them you know…….with the pad of his finger or with his own mouth
• he stares at changmin and changmin smiles back like he knows something better than eric does
• eric decides he still doesn’t like him but he walks away from the situation because he knows you can’t fault people for falling in and out of love
• but seriously - who in this school even measures up to you? changmin must be out of his mind.
• eric repeats the sentiment to you when he’s sitting criss-cross on your bedroom floor and you’re rolling your eyes and telling him to shut up and do problem number five on the trig worksheet
• in what feels like the blink of an eye, you and eric enter your senior year, and eric decides he’s going to do something about how he feels
• sunwoo claps him on the back as they skate into the school parking lot
• “finally gonna ask them ou-”
• his words die in his mouth when eric slides himself into a full stop in front of a student who has been puppy dog eyes for him since they transferred here last semester
• they giggle when eric says something, sunwoo doesn’t like where this is going
• eric kicks his board up into his right hand and offers his left to them, sunwoo really doesn’t like where this is going
• eric turns to his friend over their shoulder before the couple disappears into the school doors, he gives him a thumbs up and sunwoo flips him off
• what a goddamn idiot
• you hit it off with eric’s significant other right away
• they’re bubbly and they want you to tell them all about eric and you love eric (as a friend) so you’re ready to spill the secret to making him happy
• except when they start asking about specifics you don’t know exactly what to say
• “what’s his favorite food, color, game, band, etc. etc. etc.”
• you know all the answers but those aren’t the things you want to let them know about eric
• you want to talk about the face he makes when you roll over and try to wake him up after you both fall asleep in the summer sweetgrass after camp, all nose twitching and hands up to shield his eyes from the sun
• you want to talk about how eric actually hates big empty spaces because it makes him feel like he’s lost, you want to say
• “when we went to the history museum for our last trip of eighth grade, eric and i snuck off into the egypt exhibit. we were the only ones there and i had never seen eric so afraid - so raw and vulnerable and clinging onto me for dear life - he was taller than me back then, yet he felt so small like i should have held him my palm and closed my fingers. i wanted nothing more than to keep him safe.”
• you don’t know how to describe it in words
• the closest you get is that you want to tell them about eric’s soul
• you want to tell them they’re the luckiest person in the world
• to be loved by eric sohn is something … magical, exceptional, all the adjectives you can cram into a sentence
• but you don’t because as much as you find yourself itching to share these details, you also for some reason find yourself selfishly hoarding them
• they feel special and they feel intimate and like they areyours
• but you are happy eric is happy, or at least he looks it
• looks blissful and beautiful when he leans in to kiss his partner’s temple, holds his big hands around their waist, helps them skate around the school parking lot
• and one afternoon when you seek him out to ask how he did on a math final you have been helping him prepare for
• you stumble on something you probably would have been better off never seeing
• eric has his back against the wall of the gym building, fist in his mouth and eyes blown out and you see parts of his skin you haven’t seen since you were too young to feel shame
• if you hadn’t stopped yourself out of habit you think you might have been caught by him and his partner
• but your hand had flown over your mouth and you’d tripped backward in shock
• when your heart had stopped racing, you’d found yourself in front of your locker and staring into the empty space at the back
• sure im surprised, who wouldn’t be - seeing their best friend like that? but what’s this other stupid feeling in my gut?
• “-jealous”
• you jump back and see sunwoo beside you, popping gum and giving you a blank and long blink
• “h-huh?”
• “that idiot eric snuck out in the middle of physics and left me to die in that boring lecture. im so jealous, i want to sneak around instead of calculating the-hey are you ok?”
• you slam your locker shut and sunwoo clicks his tongue at you with even more suspicion than before
• you can’t form a response so you just give him an abstract gesture toward the library
• he nods and just as you vanish, eric appears red-faced and sweating over his shoulder
• he opens his mouth, but then looks at your locker and back at sunwoo
• “wait were you talking to-”
• “ah there’s prince charming - you left your backpack in physics.”
• after the ‘incident’ you subconsciously start to avoid eric
• eric notices and stares at you from over the shoulder of his significant other or sunwoo
• tries to catch you before you leave after school and texts you with questions about his math homework
• you respond with lackluster links to youtube videos on formulas or just the answer in hopes he’ll get a hint and give you space
• but eric just looks confused and hurt when you bump into him in the halls
• it’s not his fault he doesn’t know why you’re like this - stop expecting him to read your mind!
• you tell yourself, but don’t act on it. don’t make the effort to explain or let eric back in.
• before you know it, it’s the day of prom and you go stiff when your parents ask if you’re going with eric
• “why would i be going with him, we’re just friends?”
• “can’t friends go with each other?”
• you don’t see eric the entire day and you assume he’s getting ready for a memorable night with his date
• sunwoo slides into the seat beside you at lunch without eric’s laughter following behind him
• “are you going?”
• he asks and you look down into your plate
• “probably not.”
• “do you want to go with me?”
• sunwoo shows up (to your relief) in a suit and your parents know him as 'eric’s friend’.
• you drive to the school in silence and when you park you want to just get in there, show your face, and leave
• when sunwoo stops you
• for a second your stomach drops and you think he’s going to confess, or worse, tell you that he knows
• knows about how you really feel about eric.
• knows that you might have been all happy and cheerful when eric started dating and having his own love life and then how that was just a veneer for the fact that you are too scared to cross the barrier of friendship and love for someone like eric.
• someone you think for some reason you just don’t deserve.
• instead, he does neither
• “let’s not dance too much. i get tired easily.”
• “o-ok.”
• it’s crowded and loud and you don’t like the way the bass is turned up on the speakers
• sunwoo doesn’t seem to be too interested in anything other than his phone and you can’t help but instinctively look around for eric
• you talk to some friends, dance with a group of other people who came stag and then you see him
• he’s sitting next to sunwoo with his head in his hands
• you’ve seen eric through thick and thin, you’ve seen him bruised up in the hospital after falling off his skateboard - you’ve seen him screaming his head off at the top of a rollercoaster - you’ve seen him red all the way up to his ears after being caught in a prank
• but you’ve never seen him ……. like that
• you rush over, sunwoo gives you a tilt of the head - silent but enough to let you know something is seriously wrong
• “eric?”
• “i don’t want to be here anymore.”
• he lifts his head and the glitter under his eyelashes is wet and sparkling - his tie is done up the wrong way
• “what happened? did you - did something-”
• you don’t know if you should ask if he got dumped or if he and his partner had a fight
• either way, your assumptions are all wrong because sunwoo mouths to you
• “he broke up with them.”
• and suddenly you don’t understand - if eric is the one who broke up with them, why is he the mess?
• sunwoo adds
• “they didn’t take it well.”
• you help eric up and if he wasn’t so haggard with emotion - you would have lost your breath
• his hair is cut nicely, slicked back and a pair of small hoop earrings highlight the way he’s grown into the sharp, marble-like cut of his jawline
• his lips are open just a bit, and they look softer in the low lighting than you ever remember
• he’s wearing the suit he wore to a cousins wedding two years ago but it’s been tailored or maybe he’s also grown wider
• your mind swims through thoughts that you pretend don’t exist about how strong he feels under your hands
• “let’s go outside, ok?”
• “are you mad at me?”
• eric asks through it all and your eyes widen
• “no. i was just - i was just stressed about college, but we’ll talk about that later.”
• outside you wipe eric’s cheek with your sleeve and he starts to smile a little bit again
• “why’d you break up with them?”
• your voice is small, but he hears you even over the music that comes from inside
• “i don’t love them.”
• “how did you know?”
• eric stares at you without a word.
• he used to have eyes like a puppy that’s always asking for a snack or a kiss, now that he’s older the warm brown is still welcoming but it doesn’t feel pleading anymore
• right now you feel seen in a way you wouldn’t categorize as friendly and that fact alone makes your heart beat a little louder in your ears
• this is the first time in your life that you feel like eric is going to kiss you
• after being friends for so long you feel like you’re swaying back and forth between excitement and dread
• did you know you didn’t love them because you actually love -
• a loud sound breaks both your concentrations, it comes from inside, and for a second you think someone set off fireworks or knocked over a display
• but it’s just the dj playing an obnoxious soundbite to announce the crowning of prom king and queen
• eric gets up and inhales and you follow, about to ask if he wants to go inside and see
• but eric takes his phone out and tells you he’s going to text sunwoo that he’s leaving
• and that he’s taking his date with him
• “your date?”
• “sunwoo’s date.”
• it clicks for you and you laugh when eric suggests a drive to your favorite fast food place
• you spend prom eating greasy fries and talking to eric about which college acceptions he’s looking forward to the most even though you pretty much already know
• not like you and him haven’t divulged your dreams of the future to each other a hundred times before
• eric tells you that he learned a new trick on his board and that he finally unblocked your ex-boyfriend changmin on instagram
• you ask what that’s all about - and eric snorts that he just didn’t like his vibe from the beginning but it turns out he’s ok
• he doesn’t mention the fact that changmin had sent him a message last year when he was graduating asking if eric could promise to take care of you
• eric hadn’t answered but knew intuitively what changmin had meant by 'take care’ of you
• you balance one long fry over the radius of your cup of diet cola and make the cutest face when it falls right in instead
• you had thought about eric kissing you back in the parking lot, but right in that second is when eric wants to kiss you the most
• the night ends with nothing of the sort - just you and eric and happiness that seems to have slipped through the cracks these past couple of weeks
• when eric drops you off, your parents are bright eyed at the sight of him and it makes you embarrassed
• when you get to your room you close the door and fall backwards onto your bed
• eric’s big smile comes to mind and it makes your chest feel like a frenzy of butterflies
• you close your eyes and that smile turns to the face you’d caught eric making behind the gym and you have to sit up to shake it off
• your skin is hotter to the touch, but you force yourself to ignore it
• you graduate soon. there are other things to worry about than having seen your best friend……well.
• eric ends up getting into his first choice which he says is all thanks to you because he would have totally flunked the math portion of the entrance tests if he hadn’t had you pushing him through the woes of trigonometry
• you also want to say something about him being on the soccer team all four years of highschool, but you keep that to yourself as he showers you with praise
• you get your first choice too, it’s different from eric’s, but it’s only a two-hour train ride away
• when you both ask sunwoo where he got in he tosses the letter and you and eric nearly scream because when was he going to tell everyone that he got into SNU? eric says he didn’t even know he applied!
• one of the other seniors invites everyone to a post-graduation party and you and eric go together to pick up your gowns
• and it all seems to be ………. better
• you and eric are both going off to your dream schools (single and ready for adventure!) and you still have this day to cement another memory you’re sure you’ll look back on when you’re older
• the only issue is with all the bursting bubbly excitement you feel a ghost of something follow you around
• are we going to drift apart now that we won’t see each other every day? will eric still be my best friend?
• you look at him and you don’t see that ghost or those questions or anything but positivity and light
• so you tell the ghost to fuck off and let you enjoy the time you two have left
• of course, eric has the same ghost and when he tries to tell it to fuck off it just sneers big and nasty in his face
• are we going to drift apart now that we won’t see each other every day? will i still be their best friend?
• eric gets too drunk at the party and jumps into someone’s pool with his cap still on
• sunwoo and you fish him out, scolding him and laughing at the same time
• eric kisses sunwoo’s cheek and turns to kiss yours too, he gets you on the corner of the lips
• and then
• you’re both in college and it starts happening
• eric is still that outgoing, talkative, and inviting kid who was bad at math
• except now he’s older and more handsome and even better at talking and he’s studying criminal justice so he doesn’t need math anymore
• but you revert to old ways a little bit too much and throw yourself into your major with as much force as you can
• you pile on classes and you ignore flirtatious glances from your partners for projects or the campus barista
• it doesn’t really make sense why you’re doing it - you know you can handle a social life if you wanted it, but something about a new environment with no one you know around makes you feel weird
• eric’s instagram is flooded with new faces and old ones because he attempts to keep up even though you don’t even try
• you look at a photo of him and sunwoo, meeting up on a weekend at a skating event and it just hurts
• it’s been hurting to look at eric for a while now
• and one day you realize you have had an unread text from him that’s been sitting in your messages for over two weeks
• you delete it with a shaking hand
• “hey, you’re in my pre-requisite class for linear algebra right?”
• you blink and realize the voice is directed toward you, so you turn your head and see a blindingly handsome smile beam down at you
• “y-yes im in math 240.”
• “i knew you looked familiar! im haknyeon and ive been wanting to ask for your help since the first week i am super bad at math but i need linear algebra for my major and so i wanted to know-”
• his words jumble together, foggy in your brain until he’s repeating himself and you nod along out of instinct
• “so you’ll do it?!”
• you open your mouth and he grins wider
• “do-do what?”
• “tutor me?”
• for a moment you’re transported back to the sixth grade where eric is handing you his fractions worksheet with a frown
• something twinges inside of your heart and you are about to say sorry, i can’t help you
• when haknyeon leans forward and plucks a stray leaf that’s fallen onto your shoulder and his touch is light and full of sweetness
• “looks like fall is really here!”
• “ill tutor you.”
• haknyeon is like eric in a lot of ways, they have this high strung energy and when they’re in a room they tend to attract people like they’re the sun
• but they’re different too
• haknyeon has a bit more maturity and focus, he talks about growing up in a rural area and understanding the concept of hardwork that seems to fly over the heads of other people
• he is also what you would call undiscovered
• unlike eric who has been there for every major life event up until now, haknyeon knows nothing about you and you know nothing about him
• he’s also better at math then eric ever was and at some point, you even suspect he’s dumbing himself down to drag out your study sessions
• you briefly catch him looking at the line of your neck one day when the heat is up too high in the study hall so you shrug off the baggy sweater you usually wear
• maybe he likes me?
• you wonder when you’re working on a late night paper and your phone lights up with a text
• haknyeon: just checked my score for our math test - an 86, you’re turning me into a genius!
• you smile but before you can reply another text comes in
• eric: hey - long time no talk, are you doing ok?
• eric knows he’s popular
• he knows that the people who hang around him are sometimes, more often than not, trying to get his attention in other ways than just casual
• he doesn’t get a big head about it or anything, but he’s also never been good at rejection so he spends a lot of time putting himself in big group situations, making friends with everyone, being equally as nice to everyone
• and when sunwoo asks if he’s dating someone when they meet up eric just laughs
• “dude im not interested in that right now.”
• “you’re a freshman in college - so don’t lie to me.”
• “so are you!”
• sunwoo raises an eyebrow and turns his phone around to reveal his lockscreen - it’s a photo of him and his partner and eric tackles him almost off the park bench
• “since when!”
• “since last week - now get off of me and tell me why you’re really not dating anyone.”
• eric peels himself off of his friend and his own phone, full of notifications and college emails is devoid of the one person he wants to hear of the most
• eric doesn’t have to say your name for sunwoo to know
• “just tell them-”
• “they haven’t responded to me in almost a month……i guess childhood friendship really doesn’t matter when you grow up.”
• sunwoo wants to argue, but he has nothing to prove otherwise, he hasn’t talked to you either
• “hey. if that’s true then you gotta stop jerking off pathetically to someone who you think isn’t ever gonna love you-”
• “dude ew c'mon-”
• “eric, seriously - are you going to move on?”
• you and eric continue to float on without each other
• he pretends the hole in his heart shaped just like you isn’t there and you get closer and closer to someone that isn’t him
• your first post on instagram after a while is a photo haknyeon took of you outside of the library, it was the consequence of a bet
• you’re holding your test and his - it’s the same score - you had bet he wouldn’t be able to get it and he did
• your losing punishment was making a post on public social media confessing that haknyeon was just as good at math as you were
• eric hovers over the photo when it pops up on his refresh
• you’re scowling, but even eric can tell it’s fake. whoever took this photo is someone you like being around
• eric wants to double tap and leave a comment about how grumpy you look
• but the confidence and free caring attitude he prides himself on seems to disappear
• is the person you’re with more than a friend? is he what you’ve been so busy with?
• fall turns to winter which turns to spring which starts its slow crawl to summer and to a long break after your first year as a quote-unquote adult
• you and haknyeon are still just friends, you still haven’t responded to eric and eric has given up on trying to get a hold of you
• then you get a call from someone unexpected
• “sunwoo?”
• “are you going to visit home during your break?”
• “no…why?”
• “oh.”
• there’s a long pause and you somehow feel dejavu - transported back to the silent car ride to prom
• it had always felt like sunwoo knew your secret, it had always felt like sunwoo would be the one to break the ice first
• you don’t even recognize your voice in your head as it starts to taunt again
• wishing he’d say something about eric? want to know if eric is going to visit home? want to ask if eric has been ok? eric? eric? eric? why are you calling me sunwoo why isn’t it-
• “just wanted to ask. hope you’ve been good, are you and that guy on your instagram dating?”
• “hak-haknyeon? no we’re not.”
• sunwoo makes a noise on the end of the line and tells you it was nice hearing from you
• neither of you bring up eric.
• haknyeon shows up at your dorm with a duffel bag over his shoulder on the last day of classes
• “want to come to the beach with my friends and i, we have a place for the week and we have an extra spot.”
• “an extra room?”
• he scratches the back of his neck and shakes his head, “n-no you’d have to share with me.”
• something tells you this is the pivotal moment you have been praying for
• something that will set the trajectory of your life that’s been consumed with studying and loneliness to something better, something brighter, something sweeter
• you want to fall in love with haknyeon, the little voice in your head pleas, so just say yes
• but you don’t. you lie and say you have plans with your family and haknyeon hangs his head in disappointment
• as he waves and heads down the hall - you also realize that you aren’t going to get a second chance
• haknyeon - whether or not he likes you or not - is going to go to this beach vacation and wash you off of him in the rolling waves
• someone else is going to come and steal his attention
• “just like highschool.”
• you mutter and lock the door behind you
• your cheeks are wet with tears before you can even process the fact that you’ve started to cry
• eric’s ears ring the entire time he’s waiting in the airport
• his parents and university soccer coach had agreed, without much of his consent. that it would be good for him to attend this soccer camp during the break from his studies
• it’s in germany and he’s supposed to be going with three other teammates who are running late to board
• he looks down at his shoes and the laces are mismatched, one is the original pair from these sneakers and the others are a way flashier neon purple
• suddenly your voice fills his head
• “hey, are you serious about going skating in sneakers without laces eric?!”
• “they’re not without laces - i just lost the laces off my left one but they’re perfectly good sneakers and i haven’t rubbed the soles off the bottom like i have with every other pair!”
• “don’t be stupid, if they fall off in the middle of a trick and you eat shit and end up in the hospital you’re going to be bothering me for chicken soup. here take these.”
• “these are NEON purple!”
• “just like your personality, here let me fix your sneakers-”
• without thinking about it his feet start to move and he doesn’t know where the nearest bus or train is that’s going to take him where he wants to go
• but it doesn’t matter - he just knows that germany is not where he’s supposed to be, at least not now, not when he thinks about what he’s going to give up again
• what he’s been giving it up since he was a scraggly kid, since he couldn’t do multiplication in his head and since he understood what it was like to watch his heart break over and over again
• you are in the middle of packing your bag when someone knocks on your door again
• you half assume it’s going to be haknyeon again, or maybe a little part of you wants it to be him so you can have another shot at moving on
• but when you open the door you forget to wipe your face and eric is meet with your puffy-eyed expression
• “why are you crying?”
• he blurts out and his backpack falls from his shoulders as you feel your throat go dry
• “are you hurt? is there someone i should go kill?”
• your trying to say something - force a word or even a hiccup up and out of your mouth
• “i haven’t seen you cry since you got second place in that math competition when we were fifteen, i didn’t think-”
• “eric?”
• you say his name like it’s foreign and eric thinks a knife would hurt less being lodged into his side
• “hey, yeah it’s me.”
• “why are you - why are you here?”
• because i love you, i have loved you since i almost threw a punch at that kid changmin for daring to say there was anyone else in the world he could love that wasn’t you.
• “i don- i just-”
• his eyes fall on your open suitcase
• “are you going home for the break?”
• “are you?”
• “no, im supposed to be in germany.”
• you sound out the word germany in response and he just stands there in the doorframe too scared to go inside
• this is your room - but it isn’t your bedroom, the room that he knows and has been in a million times - this is different so it feels like he can’t tread with ease
• your body blocks his way and you don’t show any intention of moving
• so you both stand in limbo for a moment before you sniffle back whatever tears were left and go
• “should we go somewhere to talk?”
• it’s the museum you went to when you were in the sixth grade, not that you and eric even really think about that fact - just that it’s the closest thing near your university that you could think of
• cafes felt too close and intimate, parks felt too expanse and strange
• a museum was the perfect place - you and eric could talk, but not lean in too close and not raise your voices in fear of disturbing others
• the issue though is that it’s pretty much empty and the egypt exhibit is still the same
• “im not scared anymore!” he jokes - pointing a hand at a wall of mannequins dressed as pharaohs “i just remembered that i was clinging onto you for dear life last time we were here.”
• you nod and look at your hands - you had been packing that bag to go home, you thought sunwoo had dropped a hint that eric would be there too
• you had wanted to plan out what to say when you got there on the trip back
• you wanted to be prepared, but as always he’d bulldozed that plan to shreds
• and now it was kind of awkward, like picking at a fresh wound on your knee
• “hey- can i ask you something.”
• “oh - sure?”
• “why haven’t you texted me back.”
• eric stops and so do you and you’re in the part of the exhibit that’s the darkest because it’s overshadowed by a large sculptured pyramid
• you can see shadows on half of his face - he looks sad and you wish you could do anything to make him laugh
• “i just didn’t want to bother you.”
• “bother me? you’re my best friend-”
• “we’re not best friends anymore.”
• eric takes the hit that you don’t mean to throw out, it just comes out because it’s what you’re feeling
• “no-not that i don’t want to be, it’s just you moved on - so fast - became everything and more eric and im not like that. im not super great at new places, things, and people.”
• “i know.”
• he steps closer to you and there’s a weight on your shoulders that feels gross and shameful but eric crouches forward a little like he’s got some kind of weight on him too.
• “you’re shy and you sometimes self yourself short - you don’t see yourself for everything you’re worth so you avoid conversations and interactions that might turn out bad.”
• he says the words like a grown up and you almost can’t believe it’s really him
• “i knew that when we were younger - and you knew it too, you knew that under all the class clown antics and open hearted idiocy i was also insecure and scared and..and bad at math.”
• “you were never an idiot eric - don’t say that about yourself.”
• he swallows and his lips don’t stretch into a smile like you thought they would
• he looks at you and you think as much as it hurts in this moment, your blood boils at the sight of him
• he’s everything someone could dream of - all perfect lines and hard-earned slim muscule
• “it feels like i was and like i am because maybe im not good at math or whatever but i also was never good at understanding my feelings and like an idiot i confused everything in my heart for - ”
• he stops himself and you bite your tongue because you don’t know how that sentence is going to finish
• “if i tell you how i feel, will you promise you’ll tell me how you feel truthfully?”
• “feel about what?”
• “feel about you - if i tell you what ive really felt about you since i can remember, will you promise to tell me the truth and only the truth about what you’ve felt about me?”
• someone scuttles by you two - pushes past and through the long exhibit hall before turning the corner and disappearing
• it gives you the ten or so seconds to steady your breathing and agree
• “i promise.”
• eric’s phone rings in his pocket and his ringtone is still the same, the one he set for his mother
• you guess she’s probably calling to find out why he isn’t in germany and you almost tell him to pause and pick up because she is his mother
• but eric lets the call go silent and he looks at you again
• “i have loved you for a long time - at one point i thought it was the way a friend loves someone, maybe even a brother but then i knew that it was different because i didn’t want your help with fractions and i didn’t want to be your buddy during camp i wanted to kiss you the way people kissed other people in movies. when i thought about someone else doing it, even sunwoo, i thought i would throw up - and i did once when you kissed that guy at one of those dances we had during the summer - not the point, but the point is-”
• “i love you too. i knew when i saw you and your partner at the time behind the gym and they were giving you a-”
• the blaring voice of the main desk comes on and over the museum speakers, it tells you there is fifteen minutes left before closing
• eric seems paralyzed by your admission and you think you’re a teenager again with the way your heart leaps in your throat
• “oh.”
• “yeah. oh.”
• when eric kisses you for the first time there is so much force behind it that you’re scared you’re gonna topple over and ontop of the glasses cases full of ancient egyptian jewels
• you have to clutch his shoulders and dig your nails in just to let him know that as excited as he is the museum is closing in fifteen - well fourteen minutes now and it’d be creepy to do anything more than talk in front of all these pharaohs
• eric laughs so loud it echoes seemingly through the whole building, you two get an annoyed look from the guard at the door when you blunder out of there giggling and holding hands
• you agree you two should go back to your hometown for the rest of the break, but before you do you head back to your dorm
• and eric is kissing you again before you’re even through the door
• and when you ask in the middle, out of breath and hair a mess
• “where did you learn to kiss like that?”
• he grins
• “i know you really well - did you think i wouldn’t guess the ways in which you want to be loved too?”
• it’s the kind of line you think you’d both gag at if you heard it in a movie
• but that just earns eric a swoon-worthy look and your hand back around his neck
• sunwoo is not surprised to see you and eric all cuddled up close when you all meet up back in your hometown
• he looks between you two and shakes his head
• “it took you two so long, i thought i’d be waiting till we were in our fifties.”
• you and eric are too infatuated with each other to answer the snark with anything except
• “hey sunwoo - you’ll be at our wedding right?”
• sunwoo groans, which just translates to
• wouldn’t miss it for the world, idiots.

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance! younghoon
had to do something for his late bday because i adore him
others:juyeon

• the disappointed look jacob gives you as he pulls into the parking lot beside your school is that of a parent, deflated with the rowdy actions of their only child
• you hold your physics textbook in your lap in the passenger seat and try to smile at him as some sort of compensation
• kevin chuckles from the backseat
• “can’t believe you’re stuck in summer school the year before you graduate.”
• “shutup kevin the only reason you passed physics is because jacob lives down the street from you and let you copy all his old notes. otherwise, you’d be in there with me.”
• kevin shrugs and motions for you to get out of the car, you stick your tongue out and thank jacob for the ride
• “waterparks gonna suck without you.”
• he says before he rolls up the window
• you groan and mutter a “don’t remind me about the waterpark dude” before turning to head inside
• the room is barely air-conditioned and your summer physics teacher is some old lady who tells you all to read for the next hour and do the exercises on page one hundred and three
• she then puts on an ancient pair of headphones and seemingly tunes you and the other summer school students out indefinitely
• she doesn’t even notice when the door opens half an hour later and in the frame is the tall, almost infuriatingly handsome figure of kim younghoon
• you blink back in surprise - i thought he was a pretty good student?
• younghoon notices you too, smiling as he passes your desk to sit in the one behind you
• you look down at your textbook and suddenly don’t know the weird feeling that washes you over
• the room is pretty empty, he could sit anywhere else….
• five minutes later, you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder
• you turn and younghoon smiles again - his teeth are blindingly white and he doesn’t have one acne scar on his pretty face
• “do you know if the teacher took attendance?”
• you shake your head, “she’s basically been comatose since i got here.”
• he chuckles softly enough that just the two of you hear it
• “got it. so we’ll just be sitting here in silence for two hours?”
• “looks like it.”
• he takes a pause and looks at you as if he has something else to ask, but it doesn’t come out
• the first day then drags its feet until finally it’s over and you drop your worksheet off on the desk
• the teacher mutters that the homework for tomorrow is the next chapter and you give the fakest smile you can muster before trying to beeline for the door
• before you can leave though, younghoon calls out your name and you turn to see him standing in the empty hallway
• “if i need help with the homework - can i text you?”
• you reluctantly make your way back toward him, you take your phone out and hand it to him
• “sure, add yourself to my contacts. god this summer is gonna be so boring.”
• younghoon takes a moment before handing you back your phone, he nods in agreement
• “at least we’ll suffer together.”
• you don’t think much of it when he says it - actually you don’t think about it at all
• the only reason it finds its way back into your head is because later that night your phone vibrates and it says you have a text from ‘hoon [seven different flower emojis]’
• younghoon?
• you open it and see that’s a long message whining about the confusing chapter you were assigned. you giggle because you’ve been whining to yourself while reading it too
• but as you start to type out a reply you wonder………
• 'at least we’ll suffer together’………we barely even know each other? is it really normal to say that - what about being together with a stranger makes summer school of all things better?
• your hand hovers over the send button - you close your phone instead and go back to reading, forgetting about the text and falling over yourself in physics terms you should have remembered when you first were taking the class
• the next morning, jacob doesn’t drive you to school - you walk there and bump into younghoon whose on his way over too
• he somehow manages to look tall and unaffected by the sweltering heat
• he waves at you with another one of those priceless smiles
• “did you do the homework?”
• he asks as you fall into step with each other
• “barely - i had to look at cobi’s old notes.”
• “cobi?” younghoon tilts his head and you explain that it’s a nickname for jacob
• something on younghoon’s face is confusing, it’s like there’s a twinge of sadness but you assume it’s just a reflex squint to the glowing sun
• “you didn’t text me back - so i thought you might have given up on it!”
• he laughs slightly and you clasp your hand over your mouth
• “oh right! sorry - i must have spaced out and didn’t hit send. but i totally agree - fluid mechanics could put anyone to sleep.”
• before you realize it you and younghoon are in the classroom again, sitting in the same seats
• you’re early so the teacher isn’t there yet and younghoon flips to a page from the chapter to ask you if you know what its talking about
• you explain what you think it means (from the information you got from jacob’s old notes)
• and the entire time you’re maybe inches away from each other
• when you aren’t actively thinking about it, it’s fine - but then your hands brush and suddenly it dawns on you and you sit back in your seat suddenly
• younghoon senses the shift and opens his mouth to say something when the door swings open and a monotone voice tells you to open up to page one hundred and fifty-seven
• like what younghoon said and his text, you soon forget about the momentary skinship
• your brain starts to melt of boredom as the class drags on and you get past a note from younghoon when the teacher isn’t looking
• 'do you know the answer for problem #3?’
• 'it’s 23.56 m/s’
• 'woah you’re so smart’
• 'more like the person who used this textbook before me wrote the equation on the page’
• 'lucky - let’s trade textbooks?’
• 'in your dreams :P’
• another long day comes to an end and you wave a goodbye to younghoon, he smiles and waves back and adds a - “reply to my text this time, ok?”
• you nod and only again do you think about what he says when you’re home and thinking straight under the graciousness of your AC
• does that mean he’s going to text me?
• and like yesterday, younghoon does text you complaining about the reading
• you answer and a conversation that comes almost way too easily starts
• this cycle starts anew the next day, and the day after that, until at some point you realize you are forming a sort of summer friendship with kim younghoon
• and that’s normal - that’s fine
• but there are moments where you look up at him when you’re paired together for a makeshift lab or when you’ve agreed to stay behind some extra hours to study
• that you see younghoon in all this detail up close and he’s undeniably handsome but also you see something more
• for all the years you’ve been in the same school together, passed each other at parties, probably even stood together at assemblies
• you’ve taken him at complete face value. perfect proportions, always someones crush, the pretty and popular boy who somehow hasn’t added complete selfish jerk to that title as well
• he’s just - kim younghoon - untouchable, out of anyone’s league
• and now he’s more real.
• you see the mole on his neck, the way his eyes crinkle when he finds something really funny, the pickiness of his eating habits and how he can’t hold a pen properly with his left hand.
• they’re things that make him human and they’re things that you can’t help but notice because like anyone, you are instantly attracted to younghoon
• it’s just crazy that beyond that face there’s a boy who you could easily see yourself falling for
• of course, you end the thoughts right there.
• even though sometimes, you get a weird kind of feeling that younghoon is noticing something about you too.
• it really starts to eat at you after you guys are at the halfway point of summer classes - and you have your first test.
• you’re both panicking about it, because if you don’t pass this one - you probably won’t pass the final - which means physics again when autumn comes around
• so you and younghoon have been spending a lot of time in the library after class with your textbooks, snacks, and jacob’s old notes
• of course you’re both grinding, but distractions happen and you end up taking a break to toss candy into his mouth and doodle cartoons of your boring teacher in the margins of your notes
• giggling like maniacs over the inside jokes about class and school you’ve both come up with, getting scolded by the ancient librarian if you’re just a little too loud about it
• and then younghoon asks you: “do you have plans after the test?”
• you huff and cross your arms
• “yeah, to go home and curl up on my bed and forget it ever happened.”
• he chuckles, puts his hand on his neck and then pauses - what you think is a light pinkness starts to dust his skin
• “same, but if you want instead i though-”
• your phone goes off just as the words string together - you pick it up and try to wave an apology to the librarian who rolls her eyes at you
• with a whisper you turn your head to answer
• “what? jacob? what - no i don’t know where kevin is i thought he’d be with you.”
• younghoon’s lips thin out and you barely react as you duck under the table you’re studying at to keep your voice low
• you finish the call and come back up with a sigh
• “what were you saying by the way?”
• younghoon shakes his head
• “nothing, is kevin ok?”
• you get back in your seat and you don’t want to comment on the weird thin blanket of tension that seems to undertone the question
• “he’s fine, jacob will find him over at eric’s or something.”
• you look at younghoon and he doesn’t return your gaze, he’s pushed his chair in closer to the table and picked up his pen
• you do the same and try to break whatever this weirdness is
• “should we go over chapter five again?”
• that moment replays in your head for almost a week straight, it almost distracts you during the test but thankfully you and younghoon both pass
• you flaunt your 84 versus his 82 but the happiness of it seems to wash away any excess awkwardness from before
• at least for him, for you - you somehow can’t stop analyzing it in your head
• to make matters worse, more pocket-sized interactions like this start to pop up
• younghoon is always seemingly on the verge of asking you to hang out with him outside of class but he never really does
• something always stops him
• and you kind of start to wish he just would, or if the question that’s always on the tip of his tongue isn’t that - then you really want to know what it is
• you overthink and it frustrates you more than you admit, but at the same time younghoon had been right when summer started
• the fact that you have each other to suffer together actually doesn’t make this whole thing worse than it originally was going to be
• the only reason you’re having a tolerable summer is because of him
• you don’t want to ruin it by prying him with questions
• wanting to know if he wants something more than just a physics class-based friendship
• because it gets to a point where you don’t know what to do, you ask your best friends
• when you explain that you and younghoon just click - and it seems like he might want to be around you more, the way you want to be around him -
• jacob and kevin give you the same look
• jaocb’s just nicer when he says “why don’t you ask him to hang out first?”
• while kevin just laughs and calls you a big dummy - popular pretty boy or not, that’s crushing behavior you’re describing
• you think about it
• what’s stopping me from asking him first? seriously - am i going to be that person who needs to wait around for prince charming to pull the first move?
• so you decide you will, it takes jacob giving you a pep talk before you go into class the next day but you are resiliant
• and when younghoon comes through the door - you stand up
• “oh, a standing ovation did i do something right?”
• he jokes and you have to tell yourself not to focus on how cute he is and get straight to the point
• “do you want to hang out after class?”
• younghoon’s bag drops from his hands and you both kind of startle at the noise
• oh shit. here it comes. the big 'oh i hope you don’t think this is something more than it is….’ line
• “oh - i - sure, i mean i saw jacob’s car in the parking lot is he not gonna pick you up later?”
• you blink in confusion
• “no, why would jacob come pick me up?”
• younghoon and you have a moment of complete silence and then
• “you’re dating him, right?”
• you’re pretty sure you let out a sound that’s a mixture of a little yell and an attempt at a laugh
• it’s embarrassing and before you can backtrack it, the door opens and the teacher snaps her fingers for you and younghoon to sit
• as you do - you realize your entire body has gone kind of numb
• is that the reason he’s been dancing around me this summer, because of jacob?!?!?!
• you turn before the teacher can even write the pages to work on on the board
• “no!”
• you exclaim and younghoon blinks those big, brown pretty eyes at you
• “i am definitely not dating jacob bae!”
• a sense of relief seems to wash over his face, but you can’t even enjoy the way he looks happy because the teacher clears her throat
• “the matter of who you are or are not dating is not the topic of this class - physics is. so pay. attention.”
• you nod, looking down at your textbook as the other students snicker to themselves
• halfway through the class younghoon passes you a note
• 'how about we go see a movie or something?’
• your first date goes well.
• actually it goes really really well because it turns out younghoon is scared of horror movies and you’re not and when he nearly jumps into your arms with fear you just laugh and hold him close
• by the time it ends he’s got his head completely in your neck and you have your arms wrapped around his waist
• it’s actually insane how comfortable you two are with touching each other despite the fact that all of summer you would knock knees and it would set both of you into a state of petrification
• and when you text your gc after, jacob sends a thousand loving emojis
• and kevin replies with: but is he a good kisser tho?
• turns out he is, although he kisses with a shyness that is unexpected considering how loud and fun he can get around you
• he lets you take the lead, which is nice, and when you kiss him right on the jawline he inhales sharply and you figure out the part of kim younghoon that gets him all worked up
• a secret you’re sure the rest of the student body will be jealous of you for knowing
• the summer goes from tolerable to magical in the snap of a second
• your classes finish, you and younghoon both pass the final and celebrate with ice-cream and a trip to the amusement park
• you end up on the ferris wheel and younghoon sheepishly admits he had always been a little sad thinking about how you were doing these fun things with jacob and not with him
• and you scrunch your nose up and tell him the last time you and jacob were on a ferris wheel together you were comforting kevin for his random fear of heights
• speaking of moonbae, they both really like you and younghoon together
• jacob thinks he’s a mannered young man and kevin is just like soooooo you’re nice enough to put up with them (you) you must be a saint
• the four of you finally get to go to that water park you missed out on in the beginning and while you and younghoon are holding hands on the lazy river sharing little cute kisses
• kevin is splashing jacob to a point where the lifeguard on duty has to intervene
• younghoon still sometimes dances around what he actually wants to say or do - and so you coax it out of him with the threat of complimenting him
• which you learn is your greatest weapon, you call him pretty and it’s practically game over
• but seriously he just tucks you into his arms and mumbles something and you’re like hmmm and he’s like mumbling and you’re like younghoon words or i will list the top five things i like about you and he’s like
• “oK i just wanted to ask if you wanted to stay over………”
• you do :) and when you take the liberty of stealing a big flannel of his younghoon hides his face in his hands for like ten minutes straight
• before autumn finally comes around for good - you and younghoon talk about how you both flunked physics
• you explain that you just did not put the effort in at all and skipped more times than you could count, but younghoon just says he thinks he just messed up pretty bad on the final
• “why did you do bad on the final?”
• he looks away and you scoot closer, “younghoon?”
• “well remember how we all took the final with our seats switched ….. the teacher put me next to you and it was distracting….”
• “no way - are you saying im the reason you were in summer school?!?!”
• you sit up and younghoon does too with a laugh
• “maybe - but it was worth it. i got to spend a whole summer with you.”
• years down the line you still bring the story up as a fun meet-cute
• everyone thinks younghoon is 100% joking, there’s no way he failed a final because he was sitting next to his crush
• but younghoon swears it’s the reason why - he’s sure if he could find his original test paper he could show everyone that where he was supposed to have written out the equation he just wrote your name down ten times
• jacob accuses him one day for flunking it on purpose since he probably knew you were going to end up in summer school
• you turn to your fiancee and ask him is that true, did he really fail it on purpose to spend more time with you?
• younghoon’s ears turn pink and the whole room erupts into laughter
• “younghoon, why would you do that!”
• you push him gently, your hand on his chest with the glittering band he gifted you
• he shrugs back with a big smile
• “i really really really liked you - and hey, it worked out didn’t it?”

.

⊱ pairing: eric x fem. reader

⊱ warnings: i’m pretty sure i wrote ‘ass’ a couple times

⊱ word count: 2.8k

⊱ a/n: i try my best to make my work gender neutral but for my collab pieces where i have a lot to write, i tend to forget to write from all perspectives and therefore found it easier to make them from fem. reader perspectives, i apologise if this upsets some of my readers <3

my first collab piece! @atbzkingdom thankyou for the opportunity! i planned for this piece to be longer and better, please don’t hesitate to give me feedback as i’m still a little unsure on some parts. i’ll possibly edit and rewrite some parts in the future! thankyou and i hope you like it!

⊱ taglist: @heartyyjeno@atbzkingdom@chaoticdeobi

inserting the cassette into its player, the nostalgic melody slowly echoed around the room; you were entranced into a flood of beautiful and precious memories playing on repeat in your mind.

you were seated, cross-legged, on your roommates bed. she had invited you over upon your arrival at campus, to which you gladly took her invite, considering you wouldn’t really have a lot of time to spend with her with classes starting so soon. she was currently parading around in several different dresses, some tight, some loose, some just outright hideous. she claimed she was in a rush - her boyfriend, sangyeon, on his way to pick her up for the party they were attending that night. she ushered you to go with them but you opted out, wanting to get settled in before rushing off to a party.

pulling on the tiny bobbles on your socks, there was a knock at the door, and the next minute you were met with two guys. one in which you assumed to be sangyeon, considering your roommate sprung herself into him upon seeing his face. and the other - someone you didn’t know. that was, until he was introduced to you, as eric sohn.

your second encounter with eric, was - funnily enough - at a party. you were in your last years at college when your friends wanted to let off some steam and somehow had managed to get you to tag along with them. you couldn’t handle your alcohol very well so let’s just say you were pretty befuddled.

“woah, watch where you’re going there, princess” someone chimed.

you were wobbling slightly and accidentally backed up into someone, sending their drink down the front of their shirt.

the next thing you knew, you were being swept up by your legs, your face in vision sight with the person’s back, “hey! put me down.” you screeched between each punch of your fist. whoever it was, was really enjoying themselves, chuckling at your childish behaviour.

you were finally put on your feet, coming face to face with the ever-so-rude person who happened to escort you out of the building before a fight occurred. for some odd reason you just felt feisty tonight, probably since you haven’t let yourself loosen up since the start of classes and all of your wild and chaotic energy was protruding through all at once.

“i’m guessing you’re y/n, right?” he looked oddly familiar, as did his voice, but through your blurry and clouded vision, you couldn’t really make out who it was. he must’ve sensed your hesitance, tugging at your wrist before giving you a small high five, “i’m eric.”

ever since that night, he would take you out somewhere. and for someone who hadn’t explored much or had never even gone out of their comfort zone, it meant you had a lot to see and a lot to learn.

your favourite hangout had got to be the night where he drove the two of you to an outdoor cinema, seated on a plaid blanket that laid flat against the grass, your jacket shared between the two of you, your thighs pressing against one another whilst the pillows you brought propped your heads up comfortably to watch the movie playing. every so often, you could smell eric’s perfume as it blew with the wind, intoxicating you almost. without him realising, his hand would unconsciously fall and lay on your thigh, you ignored it however, knowing he didn’t mean it and is something you shouldn’t really be making such a big deal out of.

you were occupied in the screen played before you, giving eric the chance to etch your features into his brain. he had liked you for a while, even before you first saw him in your roommates dorm, sangyeon brought him along, knowing you’d be there and thus giving eric the chance for you to finally meet him. your hair was tied back, checking the weather before leaving knowing it would be windy and figured you’d pull it back to avoid the nuisance of doing it later on, except your baby hairs escaped it’s capture in the bobble and floated around with the direction of the wind. the screen’s light shone and bounced across your face, illuminating it in a way that made you look like you were an angel visiting earth but without the wings and plus, he knew you were real. he couldn’t help himself but to occasionally stare at your hands and wonder what it would feel like fitted between his, wondering how smooth they were. oh, how much he wished he could just squish your hands together right there and then. so he settled for leaving it purposely nearer to you, hoping you’d feel the same as him, yet a little braver by slipping your fingers together. you didn’t, but he figured it was wishful thinking anyways.

or there was another time, where he snook you out of your dorm past midnight just so you could both watch the sun rise. his safe place, he’d never brought anyone there before and he told you just that, causing butterflies to flutter crazily from inside of your tummy. just like how you smiling and letting out a little giggle at one of his lame jokes, he told the boys the same one and earned an eruption of laughter but it just didn’t create the same feeling compared to when you did it.

no. your favourite moment had got to be the moment you realised you loved him. you had been working yourself to the bone upon exams nearing and eric knew this, trying his best to relax you and to take your mind off of everything causing you distress. engulfing you into his warm embrace when the tears began rolling down your face. promising to stay the night with you in his arms to keep you safe and comforted and just so you weren’t alone. it’s also the moment you shared your first kiss.

what followed consisted of a few things. you celebrated your three months together before leaving education to finally turn into your own independent people with individual plans and paths they want to take. in other words: growing up. becoming an adult. and hence, you split. it was hard, at first. eric became your rock, as did you, become his. you never left each other’s sides and maybe that was why it was so hard for the long distance to work. you were both affectionate, both two loving and caring soles that just needed that physical touch, facetime can only go so far.

the door chimed, indicating someone had come through the door, “hi, welcome to moonlight’s diner what can i get for you?” you cringed at your superficial tone of voice as you casted a smile to the new customers, one of which left to find the pair a table. what a cute couple.

the woman was pretty, the way the sun shone through the open glass windows as she peered behind you at the menus, “hi, can i get two hot chocolates and chocolate chip muffins please?” she gleamed, fiddling with the cash notes she held in her hands as she looked at you expectedly.

“of course,” imputing the order into the cash register, excusing yourself as you went to prepare her order as she left to accompany her friend.

you were quite used to the machines at the diner, considering you had worked there long enough to learn everything like the back of your hand, so it only took you a couple of minutes before making your way to the table, placing each saucer and plate in front of the two, concentrating too much to notice the eyes watching your every moment.

“here’s your order and the bill, enjoy.” pushing the tray between the fold of your arm as you slid them the bill, only just having the chance to spot the man sat opposite the woman you served at the counter.

“oh hey y/n.” eric spoke, flashing his pearly whites as he began to stir his hot chocolate, “i haven’t seen you in… years. it’s nice to see you again.” the girl now staring at you instead, curious as to how eric knew you.

turning on your heel, wanting to get out of the situation as quickly as you could, you were just about to leave but god had other plans for you, “hey, i’m hanna, eric’s girlfriend. nice to me you..y/n.”

you didn’t see eric for weeks after the encounter with his girlfriend. nothing much happened after that, your manager had called for you from the back room to tell you it was the end of your shift and how you could go home. not even sparing eric or his girlfriend a second glance or word, you gripped the tray tighter and scurried out the door, not caring to even say much as a goodbye or see you tomorrow.

“so that’s y/n, huh? is that why you brought me here?” eric had been watching you leave, you looked different from the last time he saw you. god, he couldn’t imagine you being any prettier but there you were; proving him wrong. proving to him that he never actually stopped loving you. all those nights he would stay awake silently hoping you would surprise him at his dorm and you never leave his side again, “was a surprise for the both of us it seems.”

he met hanna through a mutual friend from his baseball team. they weren’t really that close, only a few civil greetings shared between the two but when he stopped eric in his tracks on the way out of the changing room, pleading him to go on a date with his love-struck friend, there wasn’t much to lose. he was lonely and she reminded him of himself; bubbly, energetic, and hence, they started dating, seeing one another more often. something he wasn’t able to do with you. he told hanna all about you. the girl he was once head over heels with, quite frankly, she knows everything about you. as do his group of friends.

except, the difference is, they met hanna and hardly know anything of her. but you, someone they have yet to meet, hell, they know everything from how you can’t eat dairy due to your intolerance to how when you were a child, you got bit by a donkey and still have the scar on your wrist. it wasn’t pleasant, comparing the both of you. you both have different traits, different personalities, different styles, you were polar opposites. and maybe that’s why things weren’t working well between eric and hanna and why he still loves you. you match him like a missing puzzle piece. hanna knew it too, but she was too blind sighted by the four letter word called love, that she didn’t want to lose eric. maybe it was out of nerves or worries, not knowing what the future had planned for her: would she ever get married? have kids? would she even meet another boy if she broke up with eric? she was being selfish really, but she couldn’t help it… especially when she saw the sparkle in his eye and the fond, lingering smile on his face by just the slight glimpse of your shadow.

it seemed like someone in the clouds above were playing some kind of god, putting scattered pieces together. almost like a person putting a broken jigsaw puzzle back together, nothing happening too fast, but also too noticeable for it to be just a coincidence.

life was hard, to say the least. some days better than others, some appearing as though it’ll never end and whilst some, you wished would stay around forever. but that’s how it goes, time still ticks on and moves through the waves of reality and if you just happen to stumble and trip, there’s the risk of never being fully able to catch up. time. something that is very limited, something people take for granted, that some people have too little of and others struggling to stay just one foot in front of; the fear of falling behind being all too real.

“penny for your thoughts?”

he spoke, breaking the tranquility that filled the empty playground.

“how funny, sohn.”

“so tell me,” he softly murmured, turning on his side to look directly at your side profile, “what brings you here? this is where we always went during school on our breaks.”

you nod, “i know. it brings peace, you know? i like it here.”

to which the male simply nodded.

“and you? shouldn’t i be asking you the same thing?”

“me and hanna broke up. came here to clear my head.”

“oh.”

abruptly, eric stood up, his hand outstretched towards you as he dragged you to your feet, “c’mon, we’re going to get ice cream from that place around the corner.”

and with that glimmering smile, you couldn’t refuse.

“andthat, is how sunwoo managed to get stuck inside of our dorms dustbin.”

“so, you’re telling me, at half three in the morning, sunwoo climbed into a tiny ass desk bin as he wanted to prove to you that he could get from one side to the other in thirty seconds or less?” letting out a cackle, your head thrown back as your hand covered the ice cream in your mouth.

sighing, “i miss how things used to be.” putting your spoon into the ice cream tub, resting your chin in your palms as you stared at the scenery occurring outside of the parlour, “i feel the same.” eric replied, huffing a little whilst his lips protruded into a pout as he copied your form, looking at you.

“want to restart?”

“restart?”

“yeah- why not? i’m not saying forget about what’s happened, just, i miss you.”

popping the spoon back into your mouth, a small smile forming on your face, “me too.”

eric was true to his word, every chance your schedules allowed, were you spending time with one another. like nothing had ever changed, and that you were still in school.

but there you were, sprawled across eric’s bed in his small - one man - apartment. both of you laid beside one another on your backs whilst observing the coloured star projector he had pointing to his ceiling.

“hey y/n?” eric whispered, closer to your ear than you expected, the tip of his nose rubbing against the shell of your ear slightly.

copying him, your noses now skimming each other but neither of you daring to move, “yeah?” you whispered back. unknown as to why you were whispering, possibly not wanting to burst the bubble the two of you were entranced in.

“do you miss us?”

smiling slightly before it dropped, recalling all the memories from your younger years, when you lost the love of your life, your best friend, the person who was always there in your time of need. just like you were to him, “i never stopped.”

never did your feelings for eric disappear, some might say you were meant to be together; soulmates your friends and family would say.

in which, probably explains why you were here to begin with, the same place, the same position, the same old

ceiling with the star projector. except, this time you were saying goodbye.

goodbye to eric’s one-man apartment, your life together with your identical rings located on your ring fingers as tiny hands held each of your empty hands. leaving heartbreak in the past, and focusing on loving one another for eternity whilst bringing up your two children that came after three years of marriage.

maybe it was always meant to be this way. maybe you’re meant to go through hard times to be stronger for the person you were always meant to be.

the puzzle was complete, and your happy family decorated the pieces. memories were memories for a reason. what was important was to live in the present, to stop daydreaming of the past, things that could’ve been better, regrets, mistakes- all made and done, but accepting you for you. and being complacent with that.

maybe you’d be stuck inside a daydream for the rest of your life, especially during the tough times. or just maybe, life itself is your daydream.

a knock on the door was what brought you out of your trance, and there you were - seated, cross-legged, on your roommates bed when her suited up boyfriend waltzed in with a familiar man trailing behind him.

eric sohn, the infamous, and handsome, baseball player on campus. the same boy of whom you’ve harboured a crush on for as long as you could remember and-

oh my god?! is he walking up to you?! okay y/n, stay calm!

“hi. i’m eric sohn.”

and that’s where the cassette stops.

. | .

: royal!younghoon x lady’s maid!fem reader

: angst but not really + fluff // enemies to friends

: younghoon’s a bit sassy/socially awkward but nth too extreme

: 1.5k

: happy (belated) birthday my beaby @chaoticdeobi, ily endlessly, i hope you like it! i hope you had a great day!

the hall was grand, to say the least. the walls painted in the finest mix of white tieandmatchstick; but to any common eye, the paint was just simply cream. portraits of the family’s ancestors hung perfectly on said walls, golden plaques engraved with their names and the years from birth to death, situated just below them.

you could say the hall was the largest part of the building but yet, younghoon was always found hiding away in the undercroft. his time well spent at the very end, paintbrush in hand as he delicately placed the brush onto the canvas, an elegant piece forming in its wake; finding comfort and solace in the peace that he got, a break from his reality, hence why his father had gifted him the space and the utensils for his twelfth birthday.

a slight sigh left younghoon’s slightly ajar lips of concentration, brows knitting together as he couldn’t quite get the right angle of his paintbrush, “it won’t work if you’re holding it so awkwardly.” it took the man by surprise, spilling his water pot over his fresh set of white trousers, nobody ever wandered into his space during the day as the staff working in the castle feared him and his intimidating gaze nor did they ever sneak up on him upon knowing of his tendency to become scared easily.

fury burning in his eyes as his fresh whites absorbed more and more of the tainted water as he sat there, whipping his head in the direction of the voice who stood behind him, arms folded and they leaned against the porcelain walls, legs crossed in a way that just screamed arrogance.

“excuse me, who the hell do you think you are sneaking up on a royal, did you not see the ‘do not disturb’ sign?” with a sigh, younghoon scurried to wipe off his trousers - not that it would do anything considering fabric isn’t waterproof and the damage was already done - huffing again, “oh, forget it. clean this up, i take it you’re a maid? now if you excuse me.”

it was dinner time now, and everybody knew that the king wanted the whole family to sit around the dining table together, occasionally discuss important business him and his wife had to deal with, or something they wanted younghoon to participate in against his will; but in his eyes, it was all apart of the family bonding.

“where’s mother?” younghoon asked as he adjusted his newly fixed hair, the constant puffing of breath out of his lips having messed it up. watching the kitchen staff busily prepare the table for their meal.

“one of the cleaning workers knocked over your mother’s glass of wine and it went all over her new gown. she’ll be down in a few- oh look, she’s coming here now.”

placing her palm upon her husband’s shoulder, younghoon’s mother took her seat at the dinner table, a familiar face following behind and standing to the side of the room with the other staff, you. you were his mother’s lady maid. if it were anybody else, he would’ve apologised for the tone he gave you earlier when he mistook you for part of the cleaning staff.. but what right did you of all people have spying on him in his private space?

“son? are you listening?” his father called to him, realisation hitting younghoon that he hadn’t stopped gaping at you since you walked in the room. adjusting his collar before prompting his father to continue speaking.

“as i was saying, your mother and i have to leave the country for a few days. you are in charge of taking care of your sister whilst we’re gone as well as the staff. we trust you with this son, don’t disappoint us,”

“oh and y/n, you will be staying here for the time being, your services aren’t necessary on this trip. you’ll be in charge of our daughter when younghoon is busy, understood?” whilst younghoon’s father was a kind and generous man, he definitely wasn’t the most respected man in the castle for no reason. his striking and powerful demeanour spread for miles, no one dared to disobey the king, not knowing exactly what he’s capable of but not wanting to find out either.

younghoon’s parents were gone for most of his childhood, along through his teenage years and then into his early adulthood. so it’s safe to say he grew up isolated and alone for most of his life. his only source of socialisation was when his sister was born seven years ago, when he was seventeen. they’re practically attached at the hip, wherever younghoon went, his sister followed and vice versa. his sister was mature for her age, much like younghoon himself, she had to learn how to take care of herself from an early age; that included knowing how to dress appropriately, know how to do her own hair and makeup for any special occasions the family hosted or attended to as well as the basics on how to behave as a royal should. the only difference between the siblings was that now, younghoon had responsibilities he had to take care of- preparing to be king once his father passes or if he steps down from the throne, maintaining a clean record as well as the constant fear of practically falling apart at the seams.

it wasn’t and still isn’t the ideal life for one to live, seeking his father’s approval and permission for pretty much everything he does. the burden weighing upon his shoulders just itching to make his knees buckle and collapse, making it hard for him to do pretty much anything “normal” like making friends or doing typical things you’d do in your twenties; it wasn’t that he liked people keeping their distance from him, nor the fact that everybody in the castle had their own misconceptions on him and his behaviour, all of which turn their topic of conversations onto him whenever he walks into the room.

it was a couple of days later when younghoon found himself sitting on the top of a hill just outside of the castle gates, observing the vast and majestic view that clouded the sky. the blue replaced by a faint red hue whilst the clouds floated aimlessly. the only sounds heard consisted of younghoon’s breathing, the small flow of water beside him and the odd bird that flew by every now and then. he can’t remember the last time he felt pure peace. everything being far too fast to keep up, like a black hole or a tornado, something you’re quickly swept up into until you completely disappear and break.

“they’re going absolutely mad looking for you in the castle, sir.”

you.

without sparing you a glance, younghoon let out a sigh, his shoulders tensing slightly at the thought of going back to the place that causes far too much stress.

unpropping yourself from a nearby rock, settling a comfortable space from younghoon, staring out at the landscape that looked like it just came out of a painting.

“what’re you doing here?”

“i came to find you, duh. they’re going sick at the thought of you having fled the country or something.”

“no, seriously. what’re you doinghere?”

“contrary to belief, sir, but i actually want to be your friend. not your foe, regardless of how hard you try to push me away. don’t you ever get lonely in that big place?”

younghoon snickered at that, “you think you know me huh?”

“not at all. that’s why i’m saying i want to, i know what it’s like to have my childhood swept from between my feet, floating between self-doubt and uncertainty of what i’m going to do with my life and how i’m even going to do it on my own. i know far too well what it’s like to be alone my whole life, my parents either too busy preoccupied with work or too tired to spend time with me when they get home at the end of the night.”

for the first time, it felt like someone wasn’t pitying him, or mistaking his standoff-ish personality for something for malice and ill-intended. for the first time, he felt heard and understood.

“how about a restart?”

“huh?”

younghoon was turned towards you now, his hand extended to you, “hi. i’m younghoon. not prince younghoon, not sir, justyounghoon.”

“nice to meet you, just younghoon, im y/n. i hope we can be great friends.”

| .

: ceo!sangyeon x coworker!fem.reader (ft. playboy!jacob)

: fluff

: cuss words here and there, mentions of alcohol

: 1.0k

: happy new year! dedicating my first fic of 2021 to my love, yu, @lsangyeons. ily just as much as i love sangyeon. cute ass couple right here. mwah. i hope you like it.

“you’re late.” your boss uttered as soon as he heard the click of the door and the clack of your heel on the floor of his office, “i’m also here, could have easily stayed home.” that. that, is something he didn’t like. he liked being the boss - not the other way around - not being the one given orders; that’s his job. that’s what irritated him about you, the fact that he spent his whole life not taking shit from anybody and proffering to be the man on top- the one who was superior- in a non narcissistic manner, but if the shoe fits then so be it.

ever since you stepped on the premises of his building, the building worth millions i may add, every little thing you did aggravated him. the way you would always be far in front of other staff in your departement, always one step ahead of them in terms of skills and traits, how you never failed to show up to work (whilst you were late occasionally due to your form of transportation continuing to be unpredictable) but nonetheless, you made up for it in the end with your customer reviews and daily late nights at the office with your contact lenses far gone hidden beneath the endless chocolate bar wrappers and your glasses framing your face instead, as paper upon paper consumed your undivided attention. he could also mention the fact that he noticed how you, regardless of your relationship with, never once was unprofessional and always looked their best at all times.

“you know, if you put as much effort into your work as you do getting under my skin you’d be promoted.” sangyeon cleared his throat and loosened the top of his tie, eyeing the way you lightly placed a stack of documents on his desk, taking a seat that sat just in front, “boss, don’t act like i’m not the most hard working person in this very building - besides you of course - and i put just as much effort into my work as i do at being your most favourite employee.” you retorted as the male opposite found himself unable to form a word, something you did to him more often than not.

it’s not that he was a pushover and let you do as you pleased, teasing him was off limits to everyone and they knew that. all the while you knew, of course you knew, but that didn’t stop you from making it a part of your daily routine. you could say he just had this form of admiration towards you, no, not admiration. you know that feeling as to when you find yourself being completely and utterly whoo-ed over by someone without even having to do anything remotely intimate, like parents watching their child perform their first school performance of twinkle twinkle little star, or, when you’re completely in love with someone that you just adore everything they do and say; proud of them and their accomplishments. you could say that’s how sangyeon felt. except, he wasn’t in love with you.

“you sound in love to me dude.” sangyeon’s close friend, jacob, claimed as he took yet another swig of his drink, lazily seated within the leather booth in the far corner of the bar the two were currently at.

the male scoffed, his face crinkling in disgust from the bitter aftertaste of the liquor in his hand, “and what makes you say that huh? mr playboy himself”. the latter let out a chuckle at that, sangyeon’s dig doing nothing but proving his point.

“i gotta know what love is to be able to stay away from it my dude - it’s simple, i don’t want that shit. therefore i learned the signs and get rid before it gets serious,” jacob winked as he ended his speech, leaving sangyeon in a whirlpool of his thoughts, “if i just sat through your whiny ass for forty minutes, expressing your undenying love for this girl, you better act on it before i actually strangle you with your own intestines.”

whilst sangyeon knew his friend was joking, and rather, he was sure he was exaggerating the feelings he held for you, he knew he had a point, “the worst she could do is say no, right? I say go for it.”

and he did, setting his ego aside, something he would never imagine doing in his lifetime - let alone for a girl of whom managed to capture his heart and occupy his mind twenty-four seven - and within twenty minutes after bidding his farewell to his companion, he was at your front door.

even if he wanted to back out, he had no choice as you stood clad in your pyjamas, rubbing your eyes as he cursed himself for not realising that of course you’d be asleep at this time. hell, he didn’t even think about what he was going to say to you, he could have saved himself by throwing a bouquet of flowers in your face to make up for his jumbled thoughts and his mismatched sentences but in his flurry to confess to you before his confidence (and alcohol) went out of his system that he didnt think of anything but going to see you.

“hey boss, are you okay?” you croaked, breaking the silence that fell upon the two of you.

“i’m sangyeon.” he announced suddenly, being put on the spot, all of his confidence leaving as quickly as it came, rubbing the back of his neck upon realising how stupid he sounded.

your brow lifted, what the hell is he saying? And quite frankly, sangyeon thought the exact same, come on dude, you got this.

“i know you are. are you okay, boss?” you said, pressing the back of your hand to the males forehead, coming to the conclusion that he isn’t ill, intoxicated but okay.

“how do i say this? I want you to stop calling me boss,” he demanded, cutting you off before you could even respond to such a command, “and i want you to go on a date with me.”

[03:17am]

daytwelve—

lounged on bean bags, sprawled across the sofa circled around the fire. several mince pies already eaten and chocolate chip cookies have been scoffed whilst you and the boyz continue your christmas movie marathon. completely forgetting what time it is before dropping to sleep, one by one.

[10:30am]

dayeleven—

“babe hurry up!” your boyfriend, sunwoo, whined from outside the changing room. the two of you opted for going christmas jumper shopping with the purpose of a party you both were invited to, except you both went your separate ways, wanting to surprise one another. taking a step out of the changing room, shock evidence on your faces as you realised you both picked those cringey ‘im with them’ type christmas jumpers. you wore them nonetheless and embraced the tackiness of the clothing.

[6:11pm]

dayten—

you, your husband jacob and your two little children cuddled up against one another, woolly socks embracing your feet as you were all matched in festive pyjamas as christmas film after christmas film played on the tv screen. childish giggles escaping your bundles of joy every so often at the funny antics displayed in front of their eyes, earning proud gazes from you and jacob.

[7:43pm]

daynine—

hanging out with your boyfriend and the rest of the boyz, the other ten of them all hollering and cheering at the sight of juyeon’s hands wrapped around your waist as yours locked around his neck, lips locked as the mistletoe hung over the both of your heads.

[4:22pm]

dayeight—

it was your annual secret santa, except this year, your boyfriend chanhee had managed to buy time off work to join you in your festive endeavours. his attitude of playing hard to get rubbing off on you every time he tried snooping in the presents, pouting when you made him wait. his frown soon turning into a shy smile when you pecked his nose.

[11:32am]

dayseven—

younghoon’s eyes widened as he immediately sat up straight due to the fact that you turned on the speaker - “coincidentally” placed on his beside table - on full blast, the tune of rockin’ around the christmas tree blasted directly into his ear drums. if it were anybody else, he’d turn over and cover his head with the covers; opting that his love for you and your obsession with christmas, wanting to see that smile he loves so much on your face, joining you in your karaoke-style performance.