#transisbeautiful
Spring is here
New wig and top…. Better than my other wigs? Please take a look and let me know your thoughts
Little grey dress for those Christmas parties
Post Surgical Reflections.
TW: Bullying, abuse, assault.
…
On March 18,2019, I had my mtf, gender affirmation surgery. On the 23rd, they finally took the packing out of … uh … ME.
I was so excited for this to happen, because comfort, basic needs, and other reasons…
When the doctor began removing the dressing, it was this searing, hypersensitive “stuff was stuck and dried in place” kind of moment. Like, white hot, worst pain of my life, don’t go into the light little Fia instant.
I screamed. I cried. I thought something was wrong.
All the while, my doctor’s is asking me to talk about what I was feeling. And I couldn’t. It was too intense.
Physically, what I felt was a kind of burning and ripping. Like I had to poop and pee and fart at the same time, but maybe was actually bleeding internally. When I explained it to the nurses in the Room (who have had children), they said I had just described birth, if birth only took 5 minutes.
My doctor said that my newjina looks beautiful. Nurses nodded in agreement. I’m glad he’s excited about it, and feels so positive. But he was upset, too, because I was In so much pain.
When it was done, it was done. I sat – or rather I lay there in bed, thinking about this for a while; why did I scream? Why was it so painful?
And I started thinking, there was 35 years of hurt coming out of me. Every nasty thing anyone ever called me when I was a child. The molestation. The incessant bullying.
Every time I was excluded, or “othered.”
My mother’s beatings. The rape…
Every little bit of pain and agony I have ever endured my entire life up until that moment purged out of me.
Was RIPPED out of me in one fell swoop, once and for all.
Now, I feel peaceful. Lighter, and in a way, unburdened.
I feel real.
When I explain to folks that this surgery was a life saving procedure, not a status thing, or a fun cosmetic whim like a new piercing, I mean exactly what I say:
My life was saved.
And so, my new life of authenticity continues…
There’s an Art to Felicia DeRosa’s Activism | PRIZM News
I was featured in Prizm Magazine for March! Wooo!
Zen and The Art of Transition
Hullo loves! So, I’ve been in a contemplative mood lately…
If you know me, you know that I’m am an amateur theologian and to that, I find myself applying many of the theories and philosophical excercises I have learned over the years to my experiences since coming out.
Lao-tse once stated: “The more one interferes with the natural balance of the universe, the further away harmony retreats to the distance.”
I’ve been chewing on this for a few days now… these are my thoughts:
Being born trans, one is inherently out of balance. So our nature therefore, is a long journey in search of the balance which would align us with our true natures.
In short, we seek harmony.
It has been noted that the more we force situations to conform to our will, the more trouble, stress, and anxiety we encounter. Heavy or light, masculine or feminine, fast or slow, everything has its own nature within it, which cannot be violated without causing difficulties.
Essentially, when abstract and arbitrary rules are imposed from the outside, struggle is inevitable. This then sours our life experience.
Hmm.
Dear stupids of the world,
I am in state of evolution. I am becoming. Moving forward to a place that is greater than the sum of my parts so, please keep you’re abstract, and arbitrary rules to yourself.
I will not allow you to sour my life experience anymore.
With love,
Felicia ❤
A good way to start my day…
Sooooooooo, in case you were wondering, being trans is mixed bag of experiences and emotions and self discovery. There are days when I feel like the darkly hilarious queen of the world, and days when I feel like a big bag of flaming shit.
It changes day to day because, dysphoria. Because ignorant, bigoted asshats. Because suddenly, people who once loved me, have stopped messaging me; hide my profile from their friend lists on social media.
The world seems oddly foriegn.
Mundane, everyday moments suddenly take on an air of danger and uncertainty. This one time, my wife and I were at Walmart shopping for things - as one does.
We were out of chocolate unicorn lucky charms, and I had a craving!
This happened to be a day of low dysphoria for me. In fact, I was feeling straight up adorable.
I had found the magical Box of cereal I went searching for, and started making my way back to my wife, who had the cart.
It was as normal and basic and boring of a thing as it sounds.
There was this guy, with a full cart of whatever pushing his way through. He was older, cis and seemed harmless enough… But he was determined to get through the aisle, so I backed against the shelves to give him Room. As he passes me, he leans in and whispers; “you’re disgusting.” and continued on his way.
It took me a minute to process what had just happened. Initially, I checked my nose to see if I had a boogey. Then I thought: “Maybe he’s not into all my tattoos? ”
Like that would matter.
I had a full head of wool felted pink dreads braided into my hair. Maybe he had an issue with my cyber gothness. In which case, go fuck yourself, I’m hella stylish.
But after a minute, I realized he was a transphobic piece of garbage, and I had just been attacked.
There went my confidence, because I’m still pretty fragile, despite my tough exterior.
I was able to shake it off by the end of the day, but still.
What the hell is wrong with people?
Why is who I am so threatening to them? Why should it even matter? I don’t know them, they don’t know me. What do they give a crap if I’m a tattooed, dread having, trans-goth punk princess?
I think it’s because trans people represent a proactive approach to making your life better. It’s not something internalized, like learning to take breaks or having a New Year’s resolution… It’s visceral and physical and very much visible to one degree or another.
And that’s upsetting to a lot of people. I think about my sister-in-law. She’s super unhappy, but she feels resigned in her life like, ‘this is what it is and I’m just gonna push through it until I die.’ It’s as if the thought of taking a step to be happy and making things better is too daunting or too scary, so staying in misery is the lesser of 2 evils.
For the record, I do empathize with that. It took a long time for me to admit who I was and come out and transition for very similar reasons.
The difference is, I never faulted other people for being brave enough to make positive changes in their lives. Quite the opposite, I find it inspiring.
But I think that some people get to a place in their lives where they don’t wanna be reminded about how miserable they are. And then here comes a trans person going; “stuff wasn’t working out, so I’m making changes.”
I experience moments like this from time to time and it can really harm my self image and my sense of safety and confidence. There are days when I don’t feel like I can leave the house. But I do anyway, because I’ll be dammed if I’m gonna stop living my life because of some ignorant Jack-ass at a Walmart.
I was in one of these brooding, Dark Places when I got the following message to me:
It was in response to a post I made about missing my grandmother and wanting her to be proud of the woman I am becoming…
“I just read your post about your grandma’s b-day and you talked about the authentic you… I’m just stopping by to say… I had no idea you had transitioned from an other gender. No idea what so ever. You’re so stinking feminine and pretty. I have someone in my life whom I love dearly, who is living in fear of thier authentic self… You give them courage and strength and you don’t even know it. Thank you for being the real you. You’re making a difference for someone in my life and I appreciate your courage and authenticity… have a wonderful day, gorgeous.”
I read this twice and cried.
Not all people suck, and as hard as it can sometimes be, the struggle is worth it. ❤
I hit a few setbacks, but am getting ever closer to starting my youtube channel “Transtastic,” where I share my thoughts and experiences on transitioning as I work on living my best life. ❤
This is a test of what I think my show opening will look like… please stand by.
Today is one of those rare days when I don’t feel dysphoric. I don’t feel othered today. I am the most in my skin and in the moment that I have felt in quite a while. Today, I don’t see the hurt and loss that often hides behind my eyes. I am wholly myself right now and I like it…
Friends! Fam! Allies!
The current administration has begun creating a narrow definition of gender that would erase the identities of 1.4 million transgender people, nationwide.
‘Transgender’ Could Be Defined Out of Existence Under Trump Administration
Enough is enough. It’s time for us to stand shoulder to shoulder as a united front against those who would see us erased from society.
Our lives matter. Our identities are valid. Our voices will be heard.
Be the change.
We Won’t Be Erased - Protest for Trans Visibility
If you’re in or near columbus, come support us..✊✊✊
It’s YouTube time!
Coming soon! “Transtastic,” the vlog of Felicia DeRosa - Art and trans stuff, served hot and sassy each week! Check it out, like, and subscribe !
During this Latine/x Heritage Month, we want to celebrate the diversity, beauty, and resilience of our Latine/x trans siblings
We see you in your boldness in these intersecting identities.
What does Latine/x Heritage Month mean to you?
Gender is an experience and a whole adventure. Nonbinary people come in all shapes, sizes, and expressions. Our needs are as unique as we are. Because there is no such thing as a “typical” nonbinary person, everyone’s medical needs should be treated on an individual basis. Knowing your options will help you work with your provider to make sure you’re getting the most out of your healthcare.
If you are nonbinary, you might have questions about what “gender-affirming” healthcare looks like for you. Your gender identity might feel new to you, fluid, or temporary; it might also feel clearly defined. One of the beautiful things about the “nonbinary” gender is that it can manifest in so many different ways—as many ways as there are people. With such diversity, you deserve plenty of medical treatment options, too.
Read the full article on our blog: https://getplume.co/blog/gender-affirming-care-when-your-gender-is-nonbinary/
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Joy and grief are all parts of any transition. Becoming your most authentic self means letting go of the parts that were meant to protect you and keeping the parts that are the core of who you are. All the love, joy, and hope wouldn’t be here without the grief, loss, and hurt along the way. From friendships and family members, to workplace challenges and inaccessible healthcare, to losing parts of the past you can no longer go back to, coping with this sense of loss is the unjust price of becoming who you were always meant to be.
Grief, the deep sadness which stems from loss, reminds us of the deep love we are capable of giving and receiving. Letting go of what doesn’t serve you means making space for something new to flourish. Queerness is a cycle of death and rebirth, peeling back layers of mask and shell over and over again, until the image of self is both recognizable and beyond imagination. Hold onto that hope as you go through your journey.
We are always here to answer your questions and help you get started! If you are ready, visit us at getplume.co/get-started
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Claiming your identity is a powerful, political act in a culture that wants gender to be simple. The moment we begin to know who we are, we start to experience how binary gender is normalized. Blue for boys, pink for girls, and strictly segregated single-sex spaces are some of the first ways we experience the gender binary. For those of us who identify as nonbinary, transgender, genderfluid, gender non-conforming, agender, or genderqueer, the binary just doesn’t work. It doesn’t make sense to or for us.
Some people describe gender dysphoria as a sense of displacement. In our culture, anyone who doesn’t fit into standard gender categories might feel this way. Gender dysphoria can be a physical sensation or a psychological one. However, it’s not the only sign that our identity doesn’t square with binary gender.
Read the full article on our blog: https://getplume.co/blog/what-are-gender-dysphoria-and-gender-euphoria/
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Although some events are unforeseeable, it’s usually possible to plan ahead. You should keep a minimum of 3-4 days of medication on hand. Try to think one week ahead when you’re prepping your emergency kit. Do you have enough syringes for gender-affirming hormone therapy (GAHT)? Do you have extra alcohol swabs and band-aids? To avoid missing a dose, it’s important to make sure you have enough medication and care supplies. “Enough” means that if you dropped one of your medications or lost it, you would still have a sufficient supply that you would be able to administer the meds on time.
Read the full article on our blog: https://getplume.co/blog/navigating-gender-affirming-care-in-uncertain-times/
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We believe in gender affirming care for life.
That means supporting you through your diverse gender expressions and identities, helping you choose the right prescriptions and doses that best fits your goals, and focusing on finding the right combination of care for YOU. No matter where you are in your journey, We are here to listen to you, and help you feel at home in your body, all on your terms.
Visitgetplume.co to learn more.
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Your transness is not tied to the decisions you make for your body, you are already beautiful and valid from the start. And if starting HRT does feel like the right path for you, we will be there to support you every step of the way.
Visitgetplume.co to learn more.
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Here’s a little information about Testosterone! ✨
Testosterone is the cornerstone of testosterone-based gender-affirming hormone therapy (GAHT), which uses synthetic testosterone. No singular gender identity is required for testosterone-based GAHT. But generally speaking, it is commonly prescribed to trans men, and trans masculine, non-binary, and intersex folks.
To learn more visit getplume.co
And another huge shoutout to the amazing @megemikoart for creating these graphics for us!
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Here’s a little information about Estrogen!
Estrogen is a hormone we all naturally make, but different bodies make different amounts. No singular gender identity is required for estrogen-based GAHT! But most commonly it is prescribed to trans women, transfeminine, nonbinary, and intersex folks. ⠀
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Estrogen, testosterone blockers or androgen blockers, and progesterone are the large groups of therapies that are typically used in estrogen-based GAHT. Each group of medications can be administered in a variety of dosages and routes.
To learn more visit getplume.co
A huge thank you to @megemikoart for creating these beautiful graphics for us ⭐️
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