#traumatized

They all took advantage of how much I cared. They knew they could get away with anything and I’d still beg them to stay. No one understands. They wonder why I didn’t leave if they were so horrible. Because I loved them. And when you love someone the way I do, you’re willing to endure anything if it means they’ll stay.

Stop hurting me I’m in so much pain already. I can’t take a single increased dosage of anguish. I’m begging I’m cowering I’m pleading. Please stop. You know how this is making me feel and you won’t stop. Why isn’t my pain enough for you to stop?! Is it because you like it? Do you like when the tears freely fall from my eyes and my face contorts into an unrecognizable mask of suffering? Do you like when I scream and plead for you to stop? You probably love it. You probably smile like the sick fuck you are that you tried to hide behind once sweet words. The fake fucking lies of words that served only to latch me onto you. You know what this feels like so why would you make me endure this? How cruel can one person be?!

Why are you doing this to me. Why are you doing this to me. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.

‘Being treated like shit by the current people in your life’ to ‘romanticizing and missing past people that treated you like shit because it’s been so long and they seem great by comparison because they aren’t actively causing you pain and you forget truly how bad things were so you have urges to reach out’ pipeline