#traumatized
“Love”…
We have never had an issue with cutting people out of our life. We have always had an issue with keeping people in our life… We feel it’s due to having no issue with cutting people out. But it seems to be a way of feeling safe. PTSD… It does feel much more safe in solitude, when you’ve had more abusers than close friends or friends in general.
Donatello is changing. Getting brought to the front more and more now that We’ve been experiencing PTSD symptoms again. His appearance is even starting to change, it seems.
characters for whom physical contact is distressing and avoided at all costs due to traumatic associations learning to trust other people and themselves again through patience and reassurance and respect for their boundaries and becoming extremely physically affectionate as they start to make up for years of touch starvation my most dearly beloved
I let my hurt inner child do something bad and now I might be single
My mom is home from the mental hospital and she really shouldn’t have been released yet she is already throwing shot around the house so yay
“Hi.. yes, Voltron?…… What the fuck?”
You deserve the love and kindness you give to everyone else.
“How’s it feel?
How’s it feel to be so loved?
How’s it feel to be so loved, yet so alone?”
When someone tries to get me to open up
To everyone asking if what they went through was ‘really’ trauma: it was. If you feel you were traumatised by it, then it was trauma. There’s nothing more to it than that.
My therapist told me that trauma is any situation in which you felt helpless that has had a lasting impact on you. Trauma doesn’t always feel “traumatic” at the time. You’re valid in your emotions even long after something has happened.
why do I have memory gaps? why do I forget things so easily? why do I feel like I’m delusional, like anything I see or feel isn’t real and isn’t there? why do I feel like I’m always lying? what happened? why don’t I remember it?
I just spent around 10 minutes scrolling through someone’s page to find a post where they said they wanted a p*rcicobeth fic to prove to my guilty conscience that I didn’t block an innocent person
I was right and now I’m at peace. They are still blocked <3
hmmm
i don’t need to say it
don’t say anything. just reblog this if you’re thinking of exactly that thing when you see this picture
Post link
Sick of living in a nightmare
There’s only so much I can blame on my bpd and trauma at this point. Everyone blames every reaction and feeling I have on my bpd and trauma. It’s easy to blame things on that so no one has to take accountability in the way their behavior impacts me. I’m just being sensitive dumb too much crazy insane delusional. Maybe actually your bullshit words aren’t lining up with what you say. Maybe I don’t think you care not because of trauma, but because you say those words with no evidence or actions to back them up. Stop putting everything on me. Stop dismissing how I feel and pushing it onto my disorders. I’m not a human pathology. Not all my emotions and feelings are tied to some fucking disorder. I’m a person too. I know everyone forgets that but I’m a human being.
Me: I have trust issues
Literally everyone: I will take this as a personal challenge to make them worse
They all took advantage of how much I cared. They knew they could get away with anything and I’d still beg them to stay. No one understands. They wonder why I didn’t leave if they were so horrible. Because I loved them. And when you love someone the way I do, you’re willing to endure anything if it means they’ll stay.
Stop hurting me I’m in so much pain already. I can’t take a single increased dosage of anguish. I’m begging I’m cowering I’m pleading. Please stop. You know how this is making me feel and you won’t stop. Why isn’t my pain enough for you to stop?! Is it because you like it? Do you like when the tears freely fall from my eyes and my face contorts into an unrecognizable mask of suffering? Do you like when I scream and plead for you to stop? You probably love it. You probably smile like the sick fuck you are that you tried to hide behind once sweet words. The fake fucking lies of words that served only to latch me onto you. You know what this feels like so why would you make me endure this? How cruel can one person be?!
Why are you doing this to me. Why are you doing this to me. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.
‘Being treated like shit by the current people in your life’ to ‘romanticizing and missing past people that treated you like shit because it’s been so long and they seem great by comparison because they aren’t actively causing you pain and you forget truly how bad things were so you have urges to reach out’ pipeline
