#favorite person

A simple sketch I did for the love of my life. Honestly, the drawing doesn’t even come close to her actual beauty. It’s impossible to truly capture that essence. Here’s a quick shout out to my love, because she makes life utterly worth it. @xmandylynnx

just ruined everything with my fp. imma k*ll myself istg

is this me splitting?

i have a new fp and yesterday she went out with her friends (we are online friends and we’ve only known each other for a month), she told me she was going with her friends (which makes it easier for me not to think she is mad at me or something). But after i spent the whole day waiting for her to come back she started telling me about how it was her night with her friends, told me she almost had sex, she hooked up with two guys and all that stuff and idk i am so pissed with her right now. i swear i just can’t talk to her right now. i really dont want to! I’m freaking angry at her for absolutely no reason!! i’m 100% sure im not into her in a romantic/carnal way its just friendship but even so i feel so pissed cause she is living her life?! at the same time i’m so scared he will see all the parts and leave me.

also yesterday i totally manipulated her bc i started telling her about my mental disorders and how i wanted to hurt myself while she was talking about her stuff (after i did that i felt so guilty and shamed bc i kind of ruined her mood which can make her not feel easy to tell me things anymore)

Being borderline and having fp’s is one hell of a trip. Hanging out with old fp’s and not having the rush you used to get is weird. These people used to give me rushes, emotions, happy chemicals. Now, it’s like they’re just another person and the new fp is all you care about.

Fear of being abandoned ✅

I let my hurt inner child do something bad and now I might be single

I keep doing bad stuff to myself for his attention I’m just getting worse and I’m gonna push him away but I can’t stop.

I almost broke up with my boyfriend then I had a mood swing and fell back In love. Life is good again and I realized I was a dummy for thinking he hated me. This ginger boy really got me planning a wedding smh

I need someone to love me through my darkest moments when I’m angry and I can’t feel anything but rage. I know it’s toxic to ask for unconditional love when you are far from deserving of it but I need someone to always be there.

I wish I could kill my brain and just be in your arms forever. I’m so sorry I can’t turn off the bad parts of my mind and just exist with you. Im so tired of overthinking everything.

Love getting attached to my middle aged therapist who reminds me of a mom…love that for me lol.

“you can always talk to me if you feel like that”

I did, but you weren’t there…

Fuck fuck fuck when I need you you’re not there I thought you were my friend

Stop fucking choosing favorite people only because they were nice to you once.

They won’t be around forever and you know deep down they don’t mean harm with that, but they simply have their own life. So you try to be reasonable and not be mad at them, but fail miserable.

But one thing we should always NOT do , is scold the person.

If you see your bpd person already curled up and having the guts to be open and honest with you about their feelings in a situation when they made a mistake or they are in the wrong, do not scold them about it and point out their mistake like a punitive parent.

because chances are;
we already know all of that. We are already beating outselves in the head with it. Telling ourselves how dumb , how cowardly and how stupid we are for failing. so having a trusted person reflect those feelings to us, is even more destructive to us than hearing it from ourselves.

you truly want to help ?
Give them a hug, a kiss , hold their hand. Lend them an ear, listen atentively. Even if you dont understand what they are going through , listen to their woes.
tell them ”it´s ok to make mistakes” and that “they are strong”. Tell them that you “believe they will do better next time.”

Maybe just, tell them “Things will be ok”
That´s we all need to hear that sometimes.

Do you still feel like your bpd person needs to hear some hard truths?
Make sure you tell them once they are stable, once they can hear the wisdom in your words. Once they dont focus so atentively on all the negativety, and start getting consumed by paranoia. Dont be a punitive person and jump to scolding. Make sure they focus on improving, and not on their failure. Express how you believe they can change and encourage them to, back them up to it. Explain that, this event doesnt change the way you view them. That it doesnt change the fact that you like/love/adore them.

Just because we are sensitive, that should not isent us from hearing what needs to be said. But those precautions are needed.

And not just to people with bpd, we should be gentle to everyone.
Be gentle to those who make mistakes. Be gentle to people that genuingly want to change. Be gentle to those who come to you searching for a shoulder.

Concept: My fp loves me even when I feel like they don’t love me at all, even when I feel unloved

concept: i won’t overthink every interaction i have with my fp and think that he hates me for no reason

I don’t have all these self centred feelings getting in the way of conversation anymore. my fp doesn’t have to go away and feel bad for my feelings being too much. I can curl them away. She’s gonna come back.

concept: my fp having a bad day does not mean that i also have to be sad because i cant be sad without spiraling

concept: my fp can talk to someone without me feeling like she’s going to abandon me and replace me with someone who has less emotional problems