#tw covid mention
Some of you guys have been messaging me with how I’m doing and I really appreciate it <3 Where I’m at is a little complicated so here it is:-
I started learning to play the ukulele in January with the Christmas holidays. I want to diversify my self worth so that when I’m unable to draw, I can do a second hobby that doesn’t require my skills I’m sulking about to do. I commented to Facebook though that playing made my fingers hurt and numb, and one friend said that my fingers shouldn’t feel numb and I should get that checked out. I went to the doctor a few days later and was diagnosed with Cubital tunnel (not carpal tunnel- that’s the nerve down the middle of the forearm). Concerned about injuring myself further, I asked my gym if I could talk to a personal trainer about which exercises I should avoid while my arm heals.
Fast forward a month due to lockdowns, I met the personal trainer. She’s lovely, and tested my movements, and found that I got sharp pains in certain positions. She said that she wanted me to get that checked before she made a workout for me which I appreciated. She took photos of my posture and omfg- I had to have a cry. My body was, and still is a mess. It’s heart shattering to see what all the lock downs has done to my already crying body. I…. I’m on the road to fixing it though, and I know a lot of people that have gained over 10kgs from the lock downs. I’ve spent the whole lockdown with physios trying to reverse the damage to my ankles from an injury in 2018 that the first physio did a shit job diagnosing. Not being able to get efficient physio work, access to a gym, going to hospital after wisdom tooth surgery complications, and oh yeah- the lockdowns. Being in New Zealand helped, but it was still stressful. I count my blessings that I am only worn out. It could’ve been worse.
A few weeks ago, I was finally able to see my physio after a month of self isolations, and he said my issue wasn’t cubital tunnel. My arm bent fine and the test the doctor did diagnosed an ulnar nerve issue- not a cubital tunnel issue. My issue was in my spine- T4 / T5 / T6. The joints seem stuck, causing pain in the ulnar nerve. Now we know the issue is in my upper spine, I’ve been given the go ahead to go back to the gym and exercise my lower body- hopefully my glutes down. Maybe lower back :) It’s progress finally. Hopefully my back doesn’t take too long to get unstuck, and let me exercise muscle groups. They’re giving me the impression it’ll take a while though T.T
I’m working on a new comic for Silvyr Rose. Work is still happening with that, but there’s nothing…. postable with it? Been doing the paperdemon ARPG too. That’s been keeping my busy. I’m an admin for the site now, and the lead admin is on maternity leave so it’s been busy picking up some of the responsibility where I can.
That’s where I’m at for now. Hoping that going back to the gym is going to dump the cortisol levels, and make it so I stop hating myself for a few minutes, and fix this darn posture. I’m ready to reclaim my life again. I’ve sorted out most of my mental blocks about making comics again. It’s time to do :)
At least my dragon cares
Please excuse this rant, it’s been bottled up for a while….
It’s been a rough 24 hours…
My aunt’s got Covid
I’m being ignored by my best friend and my husband (which doesn’t make my anxiety feel good)
(I’m about to sound so selfish and IDGAF) my needs aren’t being met or the goals I thought my husband and I had set aren’t being met…
I’m tired, I haven’t slept in so long
………
I feel like Ezilion is the only one who cares which is saying something since y'all know how his attitude and general self is. I’ve been in my thoughts all morning being mad and depressed and he nudged me to light an incense and a tea light for him. Which I obliged.
The flame of his tea light is small and calm and I feel a warmth and it only makes me want to cry more, it’s almost like he’s wrapped his wings around me. My heart rate has slowed down from it’s panic and I feel a slow warmth. Again my anxiety tells me it’s a fever and I’ve got Covid…. Ezilion kind of flicks those thoughts away with his tail…. Hades had been on edge and almost yelling at me because I haven’t been taking care of myself because of my depression. Which of course only makes me feel like complete and utter shit….
I’m just at a loss…
I haven’t been able to travel because I can’t get in the ‘right’ mind set. I can feel Hades and Ezilion but feeling and seeing are of course 2 different things….
How I’m feeling makes me feel like I’m not good at my craft… Or I’m not strong enough to walk down the paths Hades wants me to…
It honestly sucks.
ooooh noooo, no more in-person dining. oooooooooohhhhhh noooooooooo I’m so sad that customers who don’t respect our mask rules can’t come in and cough on me
Content and trigger warnings: transphobia (transmisogyny, outdated use of the word “h*rmaphrodite”), homophobia, islamophobia, ableism, death wishes, covid denialism
I know there has been already a Google doc on this person but, frankly, it got really sloppy towards the end and hasn’t been updated in over a year. Meanwhile, Roketto continues to be in fandom spaces and spew her hate on places like Reddit. Some screenshots have been taken as recently as October 2021. Aside from names, nothing is censored here. View at your own risk and heed the content/trigger warnings above.
I took it upon myself to make my own doc (with a bit of help from my friends) with specific incidents and proof that she has been hateful towards other people who think differently to her.
If you come across Roketto, just block her. Don’t message her, don’t provoke her, just don’t acknowledge her.
My great grandmother is the first touch of wild to ever enflame my heart with ideas of adventure and freedom. Alvey Alice is a woman with silver curls and cutting eyes hidden behind lines that time and hardship have carved into her face, but never did anything take the strength in those deep brown pools so overflowing with loving wisdom.
If you were hungry at her house you weren’t for long, be it for food or something to mend the heart.
The fruits of her labors were bountiful harvests, a well kept home, and a large family of children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren who all share the love of song and family. Every one of us has part of our heart at ‘Gma’s House’.
Today I got the call that broke my heart. See, someone wasn’t careful and in some gutting twist of fate’s knife my Gma got Covid last week, which turned into pneumonia.
Today they moved her from intensive care to a room for comfort measures. She’s alert and awake, and more tired than the world ever made her. She sent me a message, to not be sad but to be happy for her and her peace.
I will try Gma. I wish I could hold your hand.
Reblogging to update:
Alice left this world in her sleep. Before the end she said she dreamed her family who had gone on before her all were singing together and beckoning her to come join them.
She is who my skill for 'knowing’ came from, the dreams of things to come. I hope I can be as brave and confident in where I will find myself after I leave this place, and comforted in the going, as she was. Her last message to me was that she loves me.
Loves. Not loved.
That kind of love doesn’t die.
I miss you Gma.
My great grandmother is the first touch of wild to ever enflame my heart with ideas of adventure and freedom. Alvey Alice is a woman with silver curls and cutting eyes hidden behind lines that time and hardship have carved into her face, but never did anything take the strength in those deep brown pools so overflowing with loving wisdom.
If you were hungry at her house you weren’t for long, be it for food or something to mend the heart.
The fruits of her labors were bountiful harvests, a well kept home, and a large family of children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren who all share the love of song and family. Every one of us has part of our heart at ‘Gma’s House’.
Today I got the call that broke my heart. See, someone wasn’t careful and in some gutting twist of fate’s knife my Gma got Covid last week, which turned into pneumonia.
Today they moved her from intensive care to a room for comfort measures. She’s alert and awake, and more tired than the world ever made her. She sent me a message, to not be sad but to be happy for her and her peace.
I will try Gma. I wish I could hold your hand.
Hey, if you’re not black and can’t get out and protest but want to know how you can help black people, consider donating to the Black Covid Relief Fund which goes directly to black people who’ve been affected by this pandemic. Black People are being disproportionately affected by this virus and anything you can give helps.
It doesn’t matter how few people are dying because of COVID, people are still dying!!!
Stay at home if you can!
Stay as safe as you can!
Stay clean, stay healthy, and thank you if you’re out there on the front lines!
Do your part, everybody. The goal here isn’t to stop something that’s already taken over. It’s to keep it from taking over in the first place.
You’re doing amazing.
