maverickcalf:

I keep thinking about the scene where the whole class gets down on killing. And Barry says he kills and like yeah he probably means his hitman stuff, but also like…

That scene was about how war is a socially acceptable way to kill, and suddenly they all feel bad because that was more morally grey. But they all felt bad because they didn’t realize that Barry had that history and they were suddenly confronted with the reality of the thing rather than, just, the hypothetical.

To them Barry is real and before the it was just an abstract.

Gene then goes on to say if you kill outside of war you are fucked though.

Anyway Barry’s killing in these scene could be drawn back into a metaphor for mental illness and everything is fine so long as you show the socially acceptable symptoms.

A very astute observation about that scene I hadn’t considered, thank you so much for sharing! I think a big part of the problem-and this probably isn’t an original thought-is that even if someone hasn’t experienced clinical depression, or doesn’t have an anxiety disorder, everybody knows what it’s like to be sad or scared. While with other less common symptoms (hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thinking, etc) there’s not really a neurotypical parallel. So the average person can’t relate and therefore finds them frightening or simply confusing. Which leads to those of us with illnesses that manifest in that way sharing less and less due to stigma. But anyway, I’ll stop rambling. Thank you for pointing this out OP!

Me when folks are only just now calling Barry fucked up after he starts showing psychotic symptoms and not while he was merely, you know, murdering people.

Lost

Continued from here

CW: Disassociative identity disorder, breakdown, murder, blood

@sunflower1000@thelazywitchphotographer@wolfeyedwitch@lonesome–hunter@whump-me-all-night-long@moonknight-s-cumdump@jadeocean46910@emeraldwhump@appleejuice@mooseontheloose21@st0rmm@princessofonwardsworld@that-bug-dude@rollinginthestars

Azari looked down at his hands, shaking. The blood… the blood… where was it from? He couldn’t remember. Damn it, why couldn’t he remember??

Last Azari knew, he was running. Trying to get as far away from Kate’s body as possible. He still didn’t know why he had killed her like that. He hadn’t killed any of the others intentionally… As much as he hated her, murder? He had washed the blood off of himself and ran. Now it was back.

The blood was back.

Azari knelt next to a stream and scrubbed until his hands stung.

This time was different. He wasn’t even hungry this time. And where was the body? He had lost control and killed someone without even remotely needing to this time.

“What’s happening to me??” He whispered to himself, his voice breaking.

Kate had said something about his being a defect. Did that have something to do with it? Was this just going to get worse and worse?

“Hey.” A voice called from behind Azari.

He spun around to face the voice, eyes wide.

A man stood several feet behind him by a tree, holding an axe. He backed up some when he saw the blood on Azari’s clothes.

“Wh-who are you? What do you want?” Azari asked, standing.

“I… just wanted to make sure you were alright. Are you hurt? Is that yourblood?”

Azari hadn’t though about that. He scrambled to check himself for injuries but none were apparent. “I-I don’t know.”

The man took a step closer. “How do you not know? Where you in a fight?”

Azari put his hands to his head, falling back a step. “I don’t know, I can’t remember.”

The man took another step and Azari took a half step back, feeling the edge of the stream at his heel.

“St-stop.” He said, putting up his hands in front of himself. “Don’t come closer— I’m a monster— please, I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“That doesn’t sound like something a monster would say. You said you don’t remember what happened. Have you been having blackouts or was this just a one time thing?” The man took another step.

“Please don’t! I can’t control myself anymore— Th-this was my fourth blackout.”

The man kept his distance. “Don’t get scared, okay? I’m going to ask you a question now, and I need you to answer truthfully.” The man paused for a moment. “Are you a vampire?”

Azari felt his knees go weak. How did he know?? “If… i-if you know that much, you know you shouldn’t come any closer.”

“How recently were you turned? Have you been able to eat?”

“J-just a few weeks ago. I… I don’t want to hurt anybody— Please go away!”

“I can help you.” The man put down his axe. “My daughter is a vampire. Come with me. Let my family help you.”

Azari hesitated for an agonizingly long moment. “… Would… you really help me..?”

The man nodded. “Yes. Come with me.”

Azari stepped away from the edge of the stream, warily approaching the man.

“My name is Quinn. What’s yours?”

“… It’s Azari.”

The man led the way back to a small cabin. When they reached it, Azari stopped at the edge of the woods, reluctant to proceed.

Quinn noticed and motioned for him to continue. “Come on. This is my house. I swear we won’t try to harm you. I only want to help you.”

Azari closed his eyes, then, with a sigh, gave in and approached the house.

—

Quinn’s family was kind. They spoke with Azari for a long while. He met their daughter, Eliza. She had been turned into a vampire voluntarily, but without being made to fully understand the weight of her choice.

She regretted it.

When night fell, the family offered Azari their spare room and he gratefully accepted. For the first time in weeks, Azari had a peaceful night’s sleep.

—

At first, Azari didn’t think it was real. He thought it was a nightmare— just a horrible nightmare that he would wake up from soon.

But… something didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like a dream. Yet, he couldn’t place the feeling. Azari felt out of control— like someone else was controlling his body and he had no say over what happened.

It wasn’t until Quinn lay on the ground, bleeding and dying— if he wasn’t already dead— that Azari truly came to see reality. This was real. He wasn’tdreaming.

His mind was reeling as he— no, his body— proceeded to murder Quinn’s wife as well. No matter what he did or how hard he tried, Azari couldn’t seem to regain control.

Azari could do nothing but watch from the confines of his mind as he tore out Eliza’s throat and threw her to the ground.

Stop! Stop it! Why can’t I do anything??

He screamed in his mind, trying to get free of whatever spirit was possessing him.

Azari fell to his knees, putting his face in his hands as he finally regained control of his body. His heart began to race and he felt faint. All around him, the floors were soaked with blood.

He forced himself to stand and stumble over to Eliza.

“Oh, God—” He started to pray aloud for the first time in his life. “What did I do?? Why?? Oh, God, forgive me— Eliza— I… I’m sorry—”

A tear landed on Eliza’s pale face and Azari realized he was crying freely.

Eliza wasn’t dead— Azari knew that much— but could a vampire heal from injuries like this? He didn’t know. If she couldn’t heal, would it be better just to kill her and end her suffering? Could he do that even if it was the right thing?

No…

No, he couldn’t.

Azari stood and staggered out of the cabin, beginning to run once he got outside.

What’s wrong with me? Is this supposed to happen to vampires? Why can’t I control myself??

Azari tripped over a root, tumbling across the forest floor. In an instant, he was up again, running faster than before. He had to get away. He had to leave, had to find somewhere safe— somewhere no one would ever find him. Somewhere too far for him to find anyone else.

Regardless of what was normal for vampires, he knew he was insane. Even if all vampires were insane, he still had to do something.

And so he did.

Or tried to.

sandersides-somecosmicvoid:

3 Sides on a couch

Last night I dreamt that the new episode was out and Virgil, Logan and Janus were all on this couch talking through their issues (mainly Virgil and Janus as Logan acted as the mediator).

It was a cool dream but as I was watching it there was a murder or something going on in the town so, unfortunately I got a little distracted with that but the scenes were great.

The one I remember the most was Virgil jumping down from the ceiling, tossing Janus into the air. It was a wild time.

MAJOR AAI2 SPOILERS

He dropped this

But I do think that this is absolutely astonishing that he was able to successfully get revenge on everyone on his hit list AND have little jail time. That’s some big brain energy. Now, he can finally enjoy his life(kinda)❤

Original article

Given the choice of murdering or being murdered, which would your OC pick?

[Villain] spat out a glob of crimson blood, inching back from a slowly advancing [Hero].

“You don’t want to do this,” they snarled, desperately trying to hide their desperation, “murder is a line you can’t uncross. If you kill me, you’ll be just like me.”

“I’m very well aware of that,” [Hero] continued to stalk towards them. “And your quite right. Murder is a line you can’t uncross. A line I crossed so long ago.” [Hero] smiled sadly.

“I am no better than you, so what’s one more corpse to add to the pile?”