So, last night I finally managed to finish the conversation that was giving me such an issue, thanks to Tori, and now I just need to close out the chapter and move on to the chapter 12. Woot. Sadly I didn’t meet my page goal last month because of the above mentioned conversation. So this month I am hoping to get past the 100 page mark.
“There’s something constantly swirling inside my head—the persistent questions of attempting to fix what is broken. Dealing with everything at once uses an immense amount of energy, but leaves me empty, desperately wanting to change the deepest parts of myself to make all of the pieces fit.
Reminiscing on an old life, an old personality. The pain of loneliness cuts too deep, a reminder of growth from adolescence, but losing myself in the process. Sometimes it’s dangerous to miss my old self. Being content in my skin and having the ability to control the things around me. Now I want to tear away, shed my skin like a snake and become someone else.
The continuous scrutiny from my old life is a reminder of why relationships fell apart the way that they did—painful and unexpected. Expectations began to crumble with age, eyes that view the world in colors changed to only seeing black and white. People who were made to believe that they were irreplaceable said farewell. Ghosts from the past continue to linger.
And I read a book that dealt with grief and it was relatable, even when no one passed. When my entire life shifted on its axis, that’s when I knew the words were relevant. The words that are repeated like a mantra: one day at a time. Even after I endure emotional blows, I’ll take it one day at a time. And until I feel the sadness slip away, I’ll keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time.”
—S.V//One Day at a Time//@sempiternal.poet on Instagram
“Her willingness through the hard times has kept me afloat. There are days where the past overwhelms the present and she’s there, guiding me to become a better person than I was yesterday. Her words hold reassurance. Her love surrounds me day after day, and the darkness melts away, showing the path to happiness.
It hasn’t been easy. Life is hard sometimes and negative emotions can cause problems, but with her by my side, I feel like I can do anything; become anything. So when the darkness of the past seeps into the present, she’s always there, cheering me on from the sidelines and telling me that it’s only temporary and that eventually everything will be okay.”
Friday, March 25th, was a very important day. It was not an anniversary or a birthday. It wasn’t a graduation or a commencement or coming-of-age celebration for a young relative.
On Friday, March 25th, I broke my longest recorded writing streak.
Last year in June, I discovered a wonderful thing. I don’t remember how–probably an email from the organization running the event–but that’s not as important what it is I found. The Clarion West Write-a-thon.
Now, as a writer in the speculative space, I have long been aware of the Clarion Writers’ Workshop, it’s child Clarion West and other heavy hitters in this space, like Odyssey and Viable…
I seriously have no idea how to start this little essay (lol) but here goes. P.S i’ll be using the japanese names for the characters because i watch the japanese version of the anime. I will boldthe important part, so if you want you can read this whole thing or just skip and read the important parts.
This is going to be long, so might as well, prepares yourself lol
Want to make a writing habit and get a fresh start in 2022?!
Then join me on Pacemaker for a challenge!
Create a goal for the first 66 days of next year. Why 66 days? It’s weirdly specific…and the average days to build a new habit (according to google)!
Your goal can be a daily word count goal, an end progress goal on your project, time you spend writing – whatever works for you! I am personally doing a tiny daily word count goal.
All you need to do is create a plan in pacemaker (you can use the free plan to make one) and add it to the challenge by Jan 1st to join! We will be able to see each others’ progress and cheer each other on or get inspired.
I’ll take whatever Matthew Stover was having when he wrote the Revenge of the Sith novelization-
“This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, forever: The first dawn of light in your universe brings pain. The light burns you. It will always burn you. Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew upon your flesh.”
“This was not Sith against Jedi. This was not light against dark or good against evil; it had nothing to do with duty or philosophy, religion or morals. It was Anakin against Obi-Wan. Personally. Just the two of them and the damage they had done to each other.”
“But even in the deepest night, there are some who dream of dawn.”
“In the end, the shadow is all you have left. Because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itself—And within your furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.”
“This is Obi-Wan Kenobi: A phenomenal pilot who doesn’t like to fly. A devastating warrior who’d rather not fight. A negotiator without peer who frankly prefers to sit alone in a quiet cave and meditate.”
“Everything dies. In time, even stars burn out. This is why Jedi form no attachments: all things pass. To hold on to something—or someone—beyond its time is to set your selfish desires against the Force.”
“Obi-Wan looked down. It would be a mercy to kill him. He was not feeling merciful”
“This story happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. It is already over. Nothing can be done to change it.”
He also said: “The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.
Usually I share this post on the first posting day of the new year, but because of last week’s special share, it got pushed to the second post. This is the time I talk about what I intend to accomplish this year, in several aspects of my life. Even with the way 2020 went, I still have plans and goals for 2021.
But let’s quickly talk about goal-setting in general, in case you have a desire to set…
How was your new year’s eve? I knows it’s been a weird year but I hope even if it was just close family or a few friends it was great for you!
For me, and many others, the new year is a bit unsettling. Not for any other reason than school. The school year being different to actual years always feels weird. Everybody is like “new chapter!” and I’m in that strange in between space where I’ve finished classes but need to remember everything for exams.
But something I can measure in actual normal years is reading and writing because that goes on my time.
2021 was a very busy year for me. I published my first ever book! Dear Dragon was an amazing experience. It was the first time I was brave enough to truly put my work into the world.
I also did a lot of writing for the second book in the series. Wrote the entire first draft of the third book. I finished Out of Body Experience this year. Started a couple of short stories on Wattpad that aren’t finished. Plus an still working on the second draft to “The King, his Knight and his Mage” (title not definitive).
The only thing is… I’d be lying if I said this was a good year.
I wrote most of this during the summer while I had no work or school. Plus I was at a high point having newly published the first book.
Dear Dragon took me four whole years to write.
With this in mind and being more busy than ever with work and school, what would I like to get done in 2022?
Well first, I want to finish and publish the second book in Dear Dragon this summer. That way it will only be on year apart. And this series really is my passion. The problem is, when I published the first book my biggest fear was nobody would read it. And although that isn’t exactly what happened, I did sell less than twenty copies. So, I’m a little scared the second book being a second book and very few people having read the first, will sell literally zero copies and it will affect my confidence.
I know I need to write for myself and nobody else, it’s what I always say to others, but the truth is, editing, beta reading, re-writing, a lot of that is so that others can enjoy my craft. I’d be happy with a rough first draft. This is the reason I already have the first draft for book three, that way if book two sells zero I’m more likely to keep going anyway.
The second thing I’d like is to get the second draft for book three done. Plain and simple, so it can be out int he summer of 2023.
I’d really like to finish the first draft of “The King, his Knight and his Mage”. I’m less passionate about it then Dear Dragon but at the same time it’s been living in my head rent free for far too long and I’d really like to publish a proper standalone book for a change.
Talking of standalones and publishing, I’d also love to re-write Out of Body Experience and publish that. There are parts of it I love and parts I find meh but I feel with enough polish I could really get it to be a quality product.
Plus, I have figured out that published books (even self-published on amazon) get way more attention than stories on wattpad (I seriously need to find a writing website that caters to my writing style but for the life of me I can’t seem to track one down, any recommendations are hugely apreciated!)
I’d also love to get back into Oppida Institue for Reformation. It’s a story I love and just had to put on hiatus due to University but it bothers me every day that it’s not moving forward. It happens in the same universe as Dear Dragon, it’s a prequel following one of the side-characters but it’s not got any major spoilers and is up for free on wattpad.
So, those are my unrealistic goals for 2022. If I remember maybe next year I’ll do a post about how they went, but with my memory that’s very optimistic.
As usual, check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.
What are your writing goals for 2022? Are they realistic?
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