Quite literally, there are stars glimmering in the navy sky, but those aren’t quite the ones he’s talking about. In fact, his vision feels so out of focus that he doesn’t actually think he can see those stars very well, but it’s not his fault they’re so small and high up. He prefers things at a human level, closer to the ground.
One of those, and his favourite by a long shot, is you. While he can’t quite feel the tips of his fingers and seeing straight is something he can only dream of, when you walk into the room with curious eyes and a cautious step, he notices you straight away. There’s no surprise to him, because finding you before he finds anyone else has almost become an instinct he never intended to have, but once he started he couldn’t stop, and it’s why he’s almost salivating at you now.
You look perfect. A dress that seems to compliment everything about you, a little pair of heels that don’t lift you too high but still make your legs look irresistible. Hell, he even appreciates your earrings and choice of a matching necklace in his drunken state because it’s you, and he can’t seem to ignore any details about you no matter how hard he tries.
However you make his heart stop. It’s not on purpose, all you’re doing is filling up a cup with lemonade, but when your eyes land on him staring at you from where he’s sitting, a smile instantly rises to your cheeks and you go so far as to spare him a little wave. God, you’re perfect, the way your eyes smile before your mouth does, the glow of your skin that he’s never really noticed on anyone else but you. Perhaps an angel, you walk over to him with light and graceful steps (something he slightly questions, because he /is/ in a room full of people who can barely stand on two feet), your hands gripping onto your cup while your fingers strum against the plastic. “Jeongin! I’m so happy to see you, my friends abandoned me and it feels like there’s no familiar people in this place.” You let out an airy laugh at the end of your sentence, and he thinks you sound enchanting, like the magical fairies you read about in children’s books.
But then he panics. While he happily smiled and waved back at you, he never expected you to come over, nevermind having to start a conversation with you. If he can hardly create words in his mind, his mouth is completely hopeless, but he can’t mess this up. He doesn’t want to do anything that could possibly ruin any chances he has with you and would ruin both an amazing night and months worth of pining. “Y/n.” He lets your name out with a breath, eyes darting between you and the floor. When he acknowledges your soft gaze and worried eyes, Jeongin feels like he could melt into a puddle there and then, because how could someone’s presence make him feel both weak and completely happy at the same time?
“Do you need water? Or maybe one of your friends, I think I know Seungmin and-“
“Don’t worry about it, I just,” He can’t find his words and he feels sorry for cutting you off, but it’s hard to focus when you’ve placed a concerned hand on his bicep, because now all he can feel is your warmth, “I’m a little drunk right now, and I don’t want to do something stupid.” He admits, swallowing the lump in his throat and smiling at the way you giggle at his words. It’s clear you’ve already caught onto his intoxicated state, that information was less than necessary, but it’s cute. The way his cheeks flush a deep magenta and the dazed looks that clouds his eyes as he looks at you.
Once your laughter dies down, you move your hand back into your lap and shake your head slightly. He misses your contact within seconds of it being gone. “I’m sure you wouldn’t do anything stupid, Jeongin. I’ll make sure of it, okay? I can protect you for tonight.” You’re grinning at him as though he’s the sun and he’s looking at you like a lovesick fool. To anyone else, the situation is clear, but maybe you’re both idiots. Perhaps naïve or in denial. It’s too complicated for either of you to think about, so instead you simply choose not to.
After the initial drunken haze, he processes what you actuallysaid, and suddenly his expression drops. “I wanted to be the one protecting you.” He whines slightly, his voice giving away things he would never yet dream of telling you. The liquid confidence in his blood is doing things for him that he couldn’t imagine doing sober, but he’s notsober, and he can’t help it.
The slight ache in his heart only worsens when you tilt your head at him, wondrous eyes making his stomach tickle and composure melt. “You shouldn’t protect me. I just want to- I want to look after you- I canlook after you, okay? Do you believe me?” He asks, and it’s impossible that he doesn’t think he sounds a lot cooler than he actually does. You’re forced to stifle a giggle as to not bruise his already extremely fragile heart, nodding slowly with a sparkle in your eye. He’s so far gone yet the feeling of subtle warmth that rises to your cheeks makes you feel almost foolish. Maybe he is completely drunk and far gone in that sense, but you must be falling in even deeper, because you’re admiring him carefully and fail to see any flaws in anything he does.
Scooting closer to him on the sofa to the point your legs are touching, you place your hand back on your legs as you speak. “I believe you, Jeongin.” You whisper into the air, and you’re not too sure whether he’s caught it or not. Undoubtedly, he has—his senses seem to be on a hundred percent when it has to do with you—but those simple words make him feel a yearning to see your face. First hand, he wants to see how pretty you look while saying them to him, face to face and eye to eye.
“Look at me.” He states, not asking you or giving you a chance to say no. His voice doesn’t sound demanding, though, and despite his state you feel safe as ever next to him. The smell of alcohol is strong but the smell of him is stronger, and when you meet the face of the man it’s coming from the twists and knots in your stomach are helpless. It’s certainly not his way with words but his way of being that makes you feel so weak, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. “What did you say?”
“I think I love you, Jeongin.”
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yesterday’s spread, because it was the birthday of two pretty boys, with the difference that one is real and the other one is a bunch of lines grouped together to create the illusion of a person happy birthday to him either way tho !
note: welcome to the side stories! these are just some fun side episodes that happen during the course of the story <3 it wont be focused on jeongin and/or y/n exactly, so feel free to skip if you want
warning/s:swearing, attempted murder jokes(?) setting: around ep. 2-3 (bonus! turns out minho slightly lied to y/n about something in ep. 2 )
If you asked someone about what they think you’re like, nine out of ten chances the word “studious” would be strung along those lines. And it’s not like you disagreed, of course. When it came to academics, you really were what was considered a studious student. All the achievements you’ve got lined up from your years of school experience could pretty much speak for themselves. So seeing that, you could say that the public perception of you wasn’t entirely wrong.
But it wasn’t entirely right either.
You see, when it comes to the other meaning of being someone “studious”, you saw yourself standing on the completely opposite side of the spectrum. According to our trusty friend, Google, a studious person is also used to describe someone who shows great care and attention to things. And if you haven’t already considered the chance of faking an amnesia and forget about your constant struggle to apply exactly that to your financial choices, then you could see where this is heading to from a mile away.
Tutoring wasn’t something you’d ever thought of yourself doing. Despite being known as someone who dominated school rankings in multiple subjects, you were also known for being a fairly guarded person. Not to a point where you didn’t have friends, yet enough to not have any close ones. Needless to say, “social” was not one of the words someone would use to describe you unlike the one previously mentioned. The only people being remotely near that level were your Carat classmates (namely Minho, Hyunjin, Jisung, and Felix), who admittedly, you only started talking to because you were in severe lack of people to share SEVENTEEN content to.
So, close may not be the word, but they’re definitely the ones you thought of as being inside your bubble. Not like there’s a lot anyways. Unlike them who are also in a different group with friends they’d say they were so much more closer to than you. One of them being Yang Jeongin.
Ah yes, how could you almost forget. The great incident that led you to this moment: exhausted and in severe lack of sleep. Just like how you never expected to end up tutoring, you never thought it’d be him. It’s not like you hated the guy, he never did anything to you after all. But that was also the issue.
He never did anything that included you.
In other words: you both were simply confined to the relationship of being “just classmates.” Not strangers, far from it actually. There were these two projects you were in the same group for a few years back, but that was about it. You couldn’t say much about Jeongin, the same way he couldn’t for you. So maybe that’s why these progression of events tasted unfamiliar in your mouth.
In your mind, you always considered this kind of tutoring to be something done with friends. Well, unless it’s for a program, which you aren’t in and never will be. No offense to those people, though. You had a lot of respect for services that involve dealing with their clients one on one. On that note, nowhere were you also near being a professional tutor; but just like one, you’re doing this with financial compensation.
You let out a tired yawn as you desperately try to blink away the drowsiness from your eyes. There was certainly a choice that was made in wanting to make a quiz to measure exactly where Jeongin was in terms of history lessons. And there was even more of an option taken in deciding to make it a proper one and stay up late to do so.
You didn’t even have to make it; really, all you had to do was revisit the lessons with him and explain things he had trouble with along the way. But you were feeling nice and thought if he was willing to make an effort on this, then you might as well.
It’s totally not because you felt bad you were planning the bare minimum while he’s out here clinging on to you like you’re his one and only beacon of hope. He’s even going so far as agreeing to pay you per hour. So like a decent person, you want to repay him too by taking it as seriously. Removing the service payment would be too much though. That was your main reason for agreeing anyways.
Tick, tock.
Gosh, this class is so damn long. You couldn’t help but glare at the clock displaying the time. There are only a couple more minutes left till the bell rings, and you’re finally out of here. Last classes of the day are always the ones taking ages to finish. Can this be explained psychologically? Cause you were very willing to know.
Playfully picking at the stuff spread across your desk, you thought back to what you’ll be doing after this. Trailing your eyes to your right, you see Jeongin a couple of desks away. His eyes were busy being trained on his lap, just below his desk.
Hold on a minute, is that his phone?
You rolled your eyes in amusement. Even though you admitted to not being able to say much about Jeongin, he definitely looks like someone who has a rebellious streak. But having already learned that he was much more serious than he lets on, you view this part of him as a lot more endearing now. That little scamming stunt he pulled on you was not appreciated at all though. Well, granted that you were the one who suggested the rates, he could’ve just been going along with it. As said before, you both aren’t the slightest bit close; so he was just probably being polite and not pointing it out. Or at least that’s what you would want to believe anyways. It isn’t nice to assume the worst out of people you didn’t know very well. But basing off the interactions you’ve had so far, he could be a little shit.
In a way, you could actually point out similarities between yourself and Jeongin. If you had to describe it in words, it would be like being two sides of the same coin. Outwardly different, yet still the same. That opinion could easily change though, you believed human perception to be a fragile thing. Even so, you wonder if maybe you both could end up as friends. Your “friend group” is already part of his anyway. Maybe—
The screeching sound of the bell ringing suddenly cuts you off from your short Jeongin analysis. Automatically, you start to panic a bit at your situation.
Shit, you weren’t staring at him, right?
Awkwardly scanning your surroundings discreetly, you let out a sigh of relief. It doesn’t look like anyone noticed. Not that you were actually staring anyways. It was just a look.
After stretching your limbs that were aching from sitting down for a long time, you start to pack your things. It was a fast chore, seeing as it only took you barely two minutes to finish. Looking back towards Jeongin (because you needed to approach him of course, not just to look), you saw him engaging in a small chat with your fellow classmate, Changbin.
Debating on heading over and interrupting their conversation or waiting until the latter leaves, you still for a moment. Yet apparently, Changbin sees this because he called over to you almost immediately.
“Hey Y/N!” He cheerfully greets you while you’re approaching.
“Hi,” you smiled back politely. Wow, isn’t this awkward. Choosing to get this over with, you turned to face Jeongin, “You ready?”
For a second he seems confused, and you fight back the urge to scowl at him. He can’t have forgotten again surely? You can’t always be the one reminding him to attend the sessions. Luckily for you, an imaginary light bulb lit up above his head in remembrance.
“Oh right,” he sheepishly chuckles, lightly scratching at the back of his head, “Almost forgot again.”
Unfortunately, the twitch in your eye could not be stopped. His smile drops instantly. Okay no, that isn’t fair. You feel guilty now.
Changbin cackled at the short exchange. At least one of you is enjoying this situation. Patting your back, he heads off with a “good luck!” Oh you could definitely see how you would need that. After another awkward pause, you and Jeongin finally think to exit the classroom.
“It’s gonna be max one hour right?” He almost pleads. One of these days you’re gonna ask him if he’s just naturally a cheapskate or is he also saving for something. You know you are. And that’s why you respond:
“That depends. Maybe if you get a lot better then we’ll be having shorter sessions,” you shrugged, “For now, I think we have a lot to cover.”
“What—you just want me to pay you more!” Jeongin whines in protest, and that almost makes you feel sorry. Keyword: almost.
You don’t reply to him as there was nothing to refute. He wasn’t wrong after all. Though there seems to be a lot to cover with him truthfully; overall, he wasn’t wrong about your motives. The lack of response elicits a scandalized gasp being exaggerated from him.
“So you really are just planning to make me pay more!” He states like it’s top quality gossip. You could only shrug.
“Look, we just have two sessions a week planned. Might as well make the most of it,” was your honest answer. Jeongin stares for a quick moment before starting to laugh out loud. You gape at him, baffled at his sudden outburst. He gives you a delighted grin back.
“You’re a lot more entertaining than I thought,” he admits.
Huh.
What were you exactly supposed to feel with that? As if sensing your confused thought process, he clears his throat.
“I mean it in a good way. To be honest, I always thought you were someone whose only hobby was to study. So like, I just thought you were the boring type. Oh, that’s mean to say. Sorry, my bad!“ You blink unsurely, and that sets him off rambling again, "Well now I know you’re also a fan of that K-Pop group some of my friends are into! You’re also friends with them right?” He chirps.
Yes, chirps. He’s a lot chirpier than you remembered.
“You could say that,” you finally respond. He seems to like that answer because he quite literally beams brighter.
“Let’s hang out sometimes! With them too if you want,” Jeongin suggests.
Contrasting to your little segment about why you didn’t have many friends earlier, you actually really like the idea. Maybe it’s time for you to make real friends. You yourself know you can’t stay like this forever. It’s your last year in high school, you should be making good memories before it ends. Jeongin notices you perking up at the suggestion and smiles.
Not gonna lie, he kinda has a nice smile.
Aggressively brushing off the intrusive thought, you continue walking. Jeongin is by your side initiating small talk, while you respond to whatever you need to. You would never tell him this, but he’s a lot more comfortable to talk to than you originally expected.
In person, you and him really do look like different sides of a coin. You’re very aware of the drastic difference in the way you act in person compared to how you talk in messages. What can you say, being behind a screen just makes you feel a lot more confident in conversing compared to doing so verbally. You’re pretty sure Jeongin has noticed this by now, just choosing not to say it to your face. Whether you’re thankful for that or not, explaining the whole concept isn’t that appealing to do anyways.
Out of nowhere, you’re suddenly very conscious of the speed you both are traveling at. The library is already in view, and only a couple more steps is the entrance, yet you chose to focus on how long it actually took to get here.
Does it normally take this long to walk to the library for him? It is for you, however if you recall any memories you have of Jeongin walking or running, he always looked fast. He’s an athlete after all, and soccer is literally a game you play while running. So through what you observed, you just naturally assumed he’s on the faster side. Wait, faster side?
Was he matching your pace the whole time?
The sudden heat that creeps up your face is barely manageable to ignore. It’s from the embarrassment of walking too slow, you conclude. Being flattered by the action is totally only a small part of it. It’s just Jeongin. A classmate, maybe a friend soon, but as of the moment, just acquaintances. Nothing big to fuss about.
You quickly realize that you’re both standing in front of the library doors now. Instinctively, you try to head first and reach for the door, but it seems like someone beat you to it—and all you see is Jeongin holding the door open, waiting for you to go in.
What the fuck?
You almost malfunction right then and there. Holy shit, Y/N! Get a grip! It’s like the bare minimum for proper manners, also normal as a friendly action too. All those romance books are getting to your head! Do something! Anything!
So you choose to thank him quietly instead. Quite an underwhelming response compared to the mini-breakdown you had just a few seconds ago. You inwardly scowled at yourself for making such a big deal over a simple act of decency. It’s no different than sacrificing sleep to make him a quiz. And that’s exactly what you already did for him.
The bar is so low. You grimace at the thought. Is this really how we live? Because damn, this is sad. Ah, forget that for now. You have a tutoring session to lead.
That’s when you find yourself already sitting in front of Yang Jeongin.
This is going too fast for no reason.
"Wait, before we start I have something to give you,” he says while rummaging through his bag.
For heaven’s sake what is it now? You’re sure you already received enough heart stopping moments for the day. That plus your severe lack of sleep is making you feel so unstable. Oh, that must be why.
You let out a startled noise when Jeongin suddenly slaps a folder on the table. You looked at it with question. What you were looking at seemed to be a simple brown cardboard folder. The contents were surely something you didn’t expect though.
“Are these your quiz papers?” You gasp in shock. You knew he was serious about raising his grade but this is serious, serious!
“What? Don’t be so shocked,” he scoffs playfully, “I just tried to compile the quizzes we got back. My midterm score sheet is also there. Thought it’d make this session faster.”
Taken so aback by the combination of the action and his following explanation, you could only let out a laugh. Now it’s his turn to be shocked.
“I’m sorry—” you wheezed, “And here I thought you did this cause you really wanted to pass!”
Jeongin’s face contorts comically to protest. Eyebrows furrowed, framing his eyes that were opened wide as a way of conveying his complaints.
“That too, duh! But I still need to have money by the end of this week okay…” His voice trails off. You look at him amused. Jeongin notices and glares back as a reply. You snort at the action.
Opening the folder, you quickly scanned through its contents. Yeah, the scores are low alright. One 35 over 100, another being 40 over 97, is that a 24 over 83? You hum.
“That bad huh,” Jeongin observes you. He crosses his arms while pressing his lips to a thin line.
“Hm. It’s not as devastating as I thought, I can tell there was an effort in answering these at least,” he quirked an eyebrow at your response.
Taking out the quiz you pulled an all-nighter to finish, you handed it to him. After seeing all the contents, Jeongin looks like the whole world just got destroyed in front of his eyes.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” you sigh, “It’s just to see where you are general knowledge wise. No studying yet. I just want to consider how much and what you actually know.”
“Alright,” he slumps, feeling defeated. You smile at him for encouragement. That seemed to lift his mood up a little.
While he’s busy answering your quiz, you take the time to list down notes about his quiz performances that can help you tutor him better. From what you can see, he seems to know general events quite well. It’s the details that are often lost to him. He’s not a hopeless case. An annoyed huff cuts off your concentration.
What a sight.
This made you chuckle to yourself. His hair is a bit of an adorable mess now from the constant running through it, eyes burning with what you could only hope is determination and not blazing anger over a subject, and his lower lip caught in a bite. As much as you hate to admit it, he’s actually really cute like this. It’s the natural pretty boy charm, you guess. Jeongin is undoubtedly on the more handsome side. A platonic compliment, of course.
You continue to watch him with interest as he moves from question to question, shading the choices he thinks are correct. Did you mention the quiz is in multiple choice? Yeah, you couldn’t be bothered to make him do essays or fill in the blanks. Especially if you’re the one checking it afterwards. That, and torturing him like that on the first day would be plain cruel. 100% would do it, but he’s been a lot nicer to you so far.
“I’m done,” Jeongin announces enthusiastically while handing you the paper, “I think this is the best I’ve done in a history quiz!”
Oh no. That always ends up badly. You know how they say that when you think something is really easy, then you’re probably doing it wrong? Yeah.
You scan over his answers and end up internally crying over the results. You were right. It did end up badly. He got more than 6 answers correctly though! Your realization of the forced optimism crashes on you like a brick. Coughing unsurely, you pushed the paper back towards him.
“A-am I—should I be impressed?"
Jeongin groans in defeat. He sadly melts on the chair like goo. Poor him. He’s really trying. You just really can’t force yourself to ace something you don’t know. Tapping your finger on the table, you glance at him. If you squint, you could probably see his soul trying to escape his body.
