‘You are a pipe dream’

Quarantine’s got me thinking about the Foxes again

[ID: A digital painting of Andrew Minyard from the chest up against a plain background. He is light skinned, with Hazel eyes and short blond hair that is longer at the top. He is wearing a dark gray pea coat over a black shirt and is staring at the viewer with a vacant, tired expression. END ID:]

TW // selfharm

run your hands through the cracks in my life, don’t let go

Killstation feat. Joei Razook - Cracks

• .゜✭・♡ TOP my ARTS♡・✫・゜

2020-2021

[ARRGH]

All for the game

⚠️ Warning⚠️

self harm

Don’t cry… ಥ‿ಥ♡

MyAFTGsketchbook

Andrew Minyard

⚠️ Warning⚠️

Neil Josten

⚾All for the game⚾

Andrew and Neil

⚠️Warning⚠️

Self harm/blood

Foxes

Thank you

ALL FOR THE GAME⚾

Neil Josten

Neil & Andrew from #AFTG [commission]

I love these guys sm! my love for this series has been re-ignited haha ❤️

Based on a future scene of Oaklandby@iamagentcoop

Andreil ! Juvie AU that is please read it!

aftgexchange:

AFTG Summer 2021 Round-up

thank you to everyone who participated! if you haven’t already, please let your match know that you’ve received their gift, and if we’ve missed anyone or you haven’t had a gift and we didn’t notice, please let us know!

ART

• andreil soulmate auby@caraleadraws
• andreil femslash auby@fortheloveofexy
• neil comforting andrew after a nightmareby@kanekicure
• ghost hunting andreilby@sirfatcat-mccatterson
• andreil fox auby@doodlingstuff
• andrew and neil with the catsby@teomoy
• zombie auby@ashleymasog
• dark academia andrew and cottagecore neilby@wishbonetea
• jerejean fantasy auby@linecrosser
• kandreil beach dayby@bambazzle
• andreil skating by crownofrain
• kandreil spa dayby@apollosglare

FIC

• andreil friends to lovers roommate auby@neilstriker
• andreil magic auby@trenchcoat-moth
• kandreil neighbours auby@junkie-affectionate
• andreil hurt to comfortby@lufwoodemilius
• kevaaron bedsharingby@eloquent-apollo
• andreil post-breakup and getting back togetherby@eloennerosa
• andreil during a stormby@mystrana
• andreil fox auby@doodlingstuff
• andreil first kiss spurred by obvious piningby@jingerhead
• pt andrew and athlete neil auby@theicequeenwrites
• andrew & aaron being brothers with a bit of kandreilby@rat-water
• jerejean fluff and angstby@agreatperhaps12
• andreil soulmate au with scars and flower tattoosby@twirlingflurry
• andreilsummer auby@iknowwhoyouaredamianos
• andrew friendship with the rest of the foxesby@wesawbears
• andreil soulmate auby@lifeisabouttogetstranger
• andreil pre-canon au by sambutwithbooks
• kandreil childhood friends to loversby@bazerella
• andreil mermaid auby@bri-ghtly
• andreil soulmate auby@trojcns
• andreil highschool auby@jayjfox
• andreil hurt/comfort featuring a panic attack by nanatsuy
• andreil summer auby@justadreamfox
• kandreil coffee shop auby@neil-jortson
• jeaneil raven auby@kevingayimeanday
• andreil storm chasers auby@scatter-brain-at-work
• andreil reality show auby@kaijuusandkryptids
• kandrew sunflower field dateby@bayta-darell
• andreil domestic fluffby@rooftop-kisses
• andreil au where andrew is a gardener by ominous
• jerejean marriage proposal by ghostyard
• andreil fake-dating au by @jostenlovesminyard
• twinyard bondingby@lautjess
• kevjean fake datingby@foxyroxisworld
• andreil soulmates/roommates auby@vintage-morning-wine
• kandreil post-canon summer vacationby@kingfluffkins-thethird
• the scene where neil picks up the cigarette from the ground and smokes it, but from andrew’s povby@miyukikazuya
• established andrew/kevin plus neil auby@lyndiscealin
• andreil roommates auby@prettybrownbitch
• andreil summer dateby@pavinini2
• andreil waterfightby@autumnalpalmetto
• the foxes healingby@abraxos-is-toothless
• the foxes heist au by ana valeria
• jerejean hurt-comfort by dearghostqueen
• dan takes care of the foxes at a music festivalby@nightquills
• andreil pirates au with selkie!neilby@giucorreias
• jeaneil only one bed by @leloqier
• kevjean music au by @wedielikemen
• kevaaron beach trip by @autumnalpalmetto

remember to keep an eye out for the autumn exchange later this year!

— mod lizzy (@wishbonetea)

can’t wait for the next one!

ANIME NYC J11

ANIME NYC IS THIS WEEKEND OHMYGOD. I’ll have all sorts of new merch available, including all of the ones I posted previews for last month! Stop by and say hi if you’re at the con~

At Long Last: Chapter 4

Despite himself Andrew woke up excited for today’s meeting with Neil, he kept replaying the events of the previous day; Neil pouring over the books hair falling in his eyes, auburn hair that Andrew itched to touch and see how it felt between his fingers. The intent focus he had when he was explaining something complicated to Andrew that he perfectly understood but making it hard for Neil was kind of fun, and if Andrew forgot to mention the fact that he had photographic memory and he only needed things to be properly explained just once well who was to blame him!.

Then there was the unexpected trip to the Waffle House, Andrew didn’t plan on taking Neil there or anywhere else for that matter but he found that he wanted to spend more time with him and to get to know him a bit better, that’s why before he could stop himself he suggested going there and the baffled and excited look on Neil’s face was totally worth it.

Getting dressed never took Andrew long but for some reason today he sat shirtless after his shower just staring at his forearms the ugly red slashes staring right back at him as if in mockery, and right then a rogue idea crossed his mind “what would Neil think if he saw them and knew why he did that to himself?”. At that Andrew shook himself and got dressed quickly “stupid” he told himself “so fucking stupid actually, get it together Minyard”, he kept repeating this to himself as he made his way out of his room to look for some breakfast and to his unpleasant surprise everyone was up and about their business already.

Heading for the coffee pot avoiding making eye contact with anyone, waking up in a pleasant mood really made him angry and he wasn’t in the mood to make niceties with anyone today, not that he ever was.

“Did you come by the court last night? I think I saw your car, and what are you doing dropping Neil off? How do you know each other? Why didn’t you come in aren’t you going to grace us again with your presence in the court? You know we need you Andrew”

This apparently was Kevin’s way of saying good morning and Andrew was already starting to get a headache from the bombard of questions. As a way of replying Andrew stared Kevin down and dropped an unceremonious amount of sugar in his coffee.

“Look I’m just saying if you’re going to come to court anyway why not come in for a bit even just to observe the new goalkeeper.” Kevin pushed on.

“Drop it Kevin.” Andrew warned with a glare that ought to shut him up.

“Well someone is in a particular merry mood today.” Nick snickered as he made his way to the kitchen.

Without replying to any of them Andrew grabbed his stuff and headed out because god forbids him being able to enjoy a perfect cup of coffee in piece. He didn’t have to meet up with Neil until later that day after his classes so he waited for Renee outside her room as he always did to go about their day together.

“Morning Andrew” Renee greeted him with the ever sweet smile she always had that never stopped to baffle him, “Renee” he greeted her back with two fingers to his temple in salute as she fell into step beside him, this was easy and familiar to him Andrew never had a problem knowing Renee or letting her know him she was the only person other than Bee who knew everything about him and strangely that sat very well with Andrew.

“So how was your first session with Neil?” she asked with a smile that now had a hint of mischief in it.

“Don’t start with me Renee.”

“What! I’m not starting anything I really want to know, I also want to know how the infamous Andrew Minyard with his photographic memory needs any tutoring at all.” She said with a chuckle, Andrew really couldn’t argue or discourage Renee as he does any other person so he begrudgingly said

“It was fine, I understood everything thanks to that little math wiz, and I need tutoring because you know perfectly well that our beloved professor already has a foot in the grave and can’t form a whole sentence, honestly how you understand anything from him is beyond me.”

“Oh don’t be mean he’s cute” she said laughing; they kept at it until they reached the lectures hall and they went their separate way.

The rest of the day passed in a blur until Andrew was seated in the library waiting for Neil who was late again! As Andrew pulled out his phone to text him Neil made his way slowly to where Andrew sat but something was different about him the way he moved and held himself was all wrong as if he was trying so hard and failing to disappear into himself and as Neil stood right in front of Andrew he was sure something was really wrong, Neil was more disheveled than he normally is with deep dark circles under his too red eyes that didn’t seem to be able to focus in one place and Andrew knew that look all too well, the look of someone scouring the place looking for all the exists and possible escape routes.

Andrew waited as Neil heavily dropped in the chair next to him and started pulling his things out of his ridiculous duffle bag, “you look terrible” Andrew said; it took Neil a moment to focus on Andrew and process what he said “umm yeah thanks I have a mirror, let’s just get started” Neil retorted.

They spent the next hour tripping over the material that they were supposed to go through Neil couldn’t seem to focus every now and then his eyes would wonder looking for someone or something that wasn’t there and he would flinch at every little sound around them.

“Alright stop! That’s enough for today” Andrew said flipping the books closed and shoving the notes aside.

“Wait what! Why??”

“Well there is clearly something wrong and I’m not wasting my time like that so you either tell me what the fuck is wrong with you today Josten or we leave now.”

Neil said nothing he only looked down his hands and started tapping his leg furiously, “well fine we’re leaving then come on.”

Neil stuffed hiss stuff back in the duffle and headed out without waiting for Andrew who was now jogging after him to catch up to him “and where do you think you’re going?” Andrew asked Neil’s back.

“Well what do you want huh, what the fuck do you want Andrew, my performance isn’t up to your standards today so I’m leaving report me if you want or do whatever you want, I don’t care just don’t push me not today.” That took Andrew by surprise and in that minute Neil started moving, again Andrew caught up to him, “god Andrew what do you want!?”

“Nothing you’re headed to the dorms right, well so am I” and with that they walked in silence until they reached Neil’s room and before he could reach out to open the door Andrew stopped him “there’s something that might help I think come.”

Begrudgingly Neil followed him as he made his way up the stairs until they reached the roof, Andrew nudged the door open and stepped inside with Neil following hesitantly after him “Is that even legal?” Neil asked but Andrew only shrugged as he reached behind the door for something that Neil found out that it was a bottle of wine, a very expensive one.

Andrew sat at the ledge with his legs swinging on the side of the building and Neil followed suite, they sat like that for a while none of them talking and just looking at the sun dipping and bathing the campus in its warm golden afternoon light.

“Thanks for bringing me here it’s beautiful, and umm sorry about before I’m really having a bad day” Neil broke their silence.

“Don’t”

“Don’t what!!”

“Say that “sorry” don’t say it I hate that word”

“Well umm thanks still, it’s beautiful up here how did you come by it?”

“Same as the Waffle House, was looking for someplace quiet and here I am.”

They fell quite again gazing out at the campus and then Andrew said “well I guess it’s my turn now”

Neil looked at him a moment too long and Andrew was shocked by the intensity of Neil’s too blue eyes then said “what do you mean?” Andrew rolled his eyes and answered “our deal remember? Question for question!”

“Oh yeah right, well shoot”

“What’s wrong with you?” “but don’t ask me what’s wrong” they both said at the same time and Neil laughed for the first time today and his face lit up which made Andrew want to punch him in his too handsome face.

“Okay fair enough, how about ummmmm, why are you keeping that hideous thing you call a cat?”

Neil chuckled and said “Well I found kitten as I was headed to the dorms, he was this tiny little fur ball abandoned near the building soaked and shivering from the rain and the whimpering sound he was making really undid me, and he’s not hideous kitten is magnificent you know.”

Andrew blinked at him several times then said “You’re telling me you called him kitten that’s not a name you know!”

“Why does everyone keep saying that, it’s a perfectly good name that describes him well, he is a kitten after all.” Neil retorted.

“For someone who’s good with math you are unexpectedly dim witted Josten.” Neil looked at him and started saying something but right then a car’s engine backfired and Neil flinched soo hard at the sound he must’ve pulled a muscle.

Andrew looked him over body taught, hand gripping the ledge too tightly that his knuckles turned white, frantic eyes looking around for the source of the sound and breath coming in short heavy pants. He thought this isn’t working at all he meant to bring Neil here in order for him to unwind a bit, so without really thinking what he was doing he hooked his finger in Neil’s collar and tugged until Neil finally looked at him and the look Neil gave him sucked the breath from his lungs, he looked like a wounded animal looking for shelter, his eyes kept roving Andrew’s face and after a minute he started to relax as if he found what he was looking for in Andrew which was completely and utterly stupid Andrew thought.

“Come on we’re leaving” Andrew said and dragged Neil up with him finger still hooked in his collar.

“Where are we going?”

“Just come!”

They made their way outside and rode the Maserati, he drove in silence which he didn’t mind, for once no one needed to fill the silence and Andrew loved that. Soon they reached the exy court and Andrew asked “Do you have your keys?”

It took Neil a second to get what he was saying but as he looked out at the court he nodded to Andrew.

“Well come on then we’re not staying in the car obviously.”

They headed inside and as they reached the lockers Andrew told Neal to change as he headed for the court to wait for him, but why was he doing that, what is it about Neil that makes Andrew wants to know him, spend time with him, and above all comfort him when he’s in this state, to tell him that it’s okay, he’s safe and he won’t let anything happen to him, that he was willing to share his demons if only Neil wouldn’t run away if he saw Andrew’s.

As Neil came out and made his way towards Andrew who was lying on the floor with the exy racquet cradled on his chest he said “Now what? Why are we here?”

Andrew got up lazily and headed for the goal where he took his position and said “Try to score one goal and you get to ask me two questions.”

Neil raised his eyebrow in disbelief “you know that I will win right, I mean you must keep up with the matches.”

Andrew tapped the racquet twice against the floor and said “Bring it on Josten.”

They played for a full hour Neil trying and failing miserably to make one pathetic score against Andrew who defended the goal without breaking a sweat. After what must’ve been the two hundredth attempt Neil threw his racquet and lay on the floor, Andrew came over and hovered above Neil, from this angle with Neil sprawled on the floor, face flushed and hair sticking up every which way Andrew felt the need of kissing him, feeling Neil’s lips on his, would they be as full as they look? How would Neil taste like? What if he bit them what would Neil do. Instead he swallowed and said “Giving up already Josten tsk, what a shame.”

“God I hate you Minyard”

“Well good, I hate you too.”

Neil smiled a dazzling smile and Andrew allowed himself to flop down next to him. This close Andrew was itching to lean just a little bit forward to kiss Neil instead he turned his head and fixed his eyes heavenwards.

“I guess it’s my turn now” Andrew didn’t answer which Neil took as a sign for him to ask,

“Why did you stop playing exy”

“Ugh soo predictable Josten”

“Well I want to know and it’s my turn and it’s not like I asked you about your arm bands.” Sensing Andrew tensing about that last part he added quickly “and I will not I promise not unless you want to talk about them I swear.”

Andrew looked at him really hard eyes glaring which no doubt Neil interpreted as him wanting to punch Neil but not for mentioning his arm bands it was because he respected him to not ask about which was what Andrew bracing himself to be asked but nooo! He had the audacity to understand what the word privacy meant and actually respect it when no one else around Andrew seemed able to get their petty little heads around the concept.

“you’re an Idiot Josten, I stopped playing because I don’t care enough to play, I had a deal with Kevin and in order to honor it I had to play, now it’s done and I don’t play”

“Then why come here tonight when you clearly hate it?” Neil pushed

“First off I don’t hate it I just don’t care and secondly apparently being around you makes people stupid as well so here we are.” Neil smiled that sweet dizzying smile again and Andrew really wanted to wipe it off of his face, preferably with his own mouth, “good god you’re losing it Minyard” he told himself.

“Let’s go I’m not sleeping here, go change I will wait in the car”

In less than five minutes Neil was done and sitting in the car and they headed back in silence which neither of them seemed to mind. Andrew walked Neil to his room where Neil hesitated a minute before he turned on Andrew and lifted his hand as if to hold Andrew’s but thought better of it and said “thank you, really you helped, I don’t know if you meant to or not I mean I think you did but I don’t want to be presumptuous so thank you, I …I mean it really.”

“You’re an idiot Josten” that made Neil smile and not for the first time today nor the last Andrew suspected he felt like kissing that smile off of Neil’s face.

“Next time don’t be late or your kitten will pay the price” Andrew said as he walked away but not before he heard Neil’s laughter around him even after he made it to his room.

“Well, what a good fucking job Minyard, you’re screwed” he told himself as he flopped down on bed with blazing blue eyes imprinted in his mind.

Here is chapter 3

At Long Last: Chapter 3

Shit, shit, shit, shit, i’m late, i’m soo fucking late Neil though.

“Maaaaaaaatt hurry up i need the bathroom, go do your ridiculous hair routine at Dan’s” Neil shouted.

“Damn Neil don’t insult my hair routine, and what’s soo important that you’re rushing me through it?”

“I told you I’m late!!” Neil answered exasperated as he pushed past Matt into the bathroom.

“Late for what?!”

“That guy that monitors the dorm came by two nights ago and he saw the kitten so i made a deal with him that i will touter him in maths and in return he won’t report about it, and thanks to you now I’m late and if he calls of the deal and the kitten is taken i will fucking kill you!.”

“Okay first off you need to name the damn kitten you can’t just keep calling him “kitten”, and secondly do you mean Andrew Minyard, as in you made a deal with Andrew Minyard!!”

“He has a name and it’s kitten, besides if you don’t like it why don’t you come up with a name, and yes i made a deal with him I’m not sure about his last name but his first name is Andrew”

“I won’t name him because it’s not mine I don’t even like it you’re the one who bought it……” at that Neil rolled his eyes, it wasn’t the first time they had that argument and yet each night when he came back he found kitten safely sleeping on Matt’s chest.

“Wait are you serious!! You actually made a deal with Andrew Minyard.” Neil could tell that Matt was standing now outside the bathroom door and couldn’t get what the big deal was.

“Yes, i said i did what is wrong with that?!” Neil said as he yanked the bathroom door open and headed for his room to pack.

“You mean you don’t know the infamous Andrew Minyard.”

“Well I don’t personally know him but i’ve heard about him.”

“And yet you made a deal with him!” Matt exclaimed clearly amused.

“Yes i did to save our cat so you can just shut it.” Nail yelled as he stormed out of their room.

“Well it’s not my caaat!” Matt yelled back.

Neil was jittery, yes he was running late but that’s not it. Something about Andrew made him actually excited and looking forward to this deal.

The next day after Andrew came to their room and still hadn’t texted Neil on when they would meet Neil got really anxious and his patience was wearing thin.

He couldn’t focus on his homework and kept pacing up and down his room that he almost ran a trail on the rug, kept checking his phone which earned him weird looks from Matt because Neil rarely remembers that he even owns a phone, and finally he almost considered skipping practice and this though has never crossed his mind in all his life which was a testament to his anxious state.

Practice didn’t help that day he was distracted and no amount of drills could get him to focus and that made Kevin furious with him and by their third fight Neil decided to leave and go for a run that always helps him.

Half an hour in his run Neil started to relax and focus solely on regulating his breath when a text alert jarred him, checking his phone it read “tomorrow at 4 in the library don’t be late or the deal’s off.”

Neil stopped in his tracks, breathless, excited, and kinda dizzy. “Okay, it’s happening don’t panic it’s cool, it’s nothing actually we’re just studying just don’t ruin it” he told himself.

Now he was actually headed to the library to meet with Andrew however being late didn’t stop him from grabbing coffee on his way.

“I know i know i know I’m late sorry, Matt was hogging the bathroom and……and you don’t care” Neil finished as he saw the impassive look on Andrew’s face.

“Well i bought coffee”

“Is it sweet?”

“Umm no, I don’t really drink it with sugar so i got yours black too, sorry” Neil said weakly

“Stop saying that”

“Saying what?”

“Sorry, stop saying sorry.”

“Yeah okay sure, should we get started?”

This wasn’t going well, at all, Neil didn’t know if Andrew was angry about him being late or about the black coffee, or if Andrew was even angry at all and that impassive look still on his face was because he just couldn’t care less, it was impossible to get a read on him and Neil was getting anxious again.

An hour into the tutoring session Neil started to be at ease, they started with some basics and even though Andrew didn’t utter a single word that impassive look was replaced with an intent focused look instead and Neil took that as a good sign.

After two hours Neil got up to stretch his legs and starting walking around their desk, “How are you soo good at this?” Andrew asked stopping Neil in his track.

“At what?”

“This maths and teaching it.”

“I don’t know i guess it just makes sense to me.”

“Maths makes sense to you?!” Andrew asked with a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“Well yeah, it’s just rules and equations it’s constant so it makes sense, it’s calming in a way.”

At that Andrew just raised his eyebrows and didn’t say anything else.

“Okay!, we don’t have much left to go through for today about fifteen minutes or so.”

“We’ll go over them tomorrow, i need to eat.” Andrew said as he gathered his things and started to leave, leaving a baffled Neil behind him.

“I’m not waiting for you are you coming or not?!”

“Umm….yeah, yes right behind you.” Neil hurried after Andrew a bit pleased with himself.

“So where are we going?” He asked as they stepped out of the library.

“A Waffle House thirty minutes away from here, get in.” Andrew gestured to a black sleek Maserati car.

“Is that your?!”

“No, we’re stealing it.” Andrew deadpanned

“Damn how can you afford this.”

“Are you getting in or am i going to leave you here?” Andrew asked already bored.

“Fine, fine I’m getting in.”

As soon as Neil closed his door Andrew flew with the car leaving Neil holding on to his door. With the way Andrew drove it took them only fifteen minutes to reach the Waffle House and Neil couldn’t be happier to get out off it.

The Waffle House wasn’t fancy and packed as the ones around the campus, this one was a small almost deserted place with a broken neon sign. Andrew headed for it without a backwards glance towards Neil who followed him silently.

As soon as Andrew opened the door a strong smell of fresh baked waffles greeted Neil and he swore to himself that it wasn’t like anything he’s ever smelled before.

The Waffle Houses around the campus smelled nothing like this they had a stale kind of smell around them that meant that the waffles they served are most definitely not fresh while here you can smell the freshness of the waffles and taste them before they reach your mouth.

They settled in the furthest booth in the place, looking down at the menu Neil found that they’ve managed to include every possible combination of toppings and flavors that anyone can think off, it was confusing to choose as he wanted to try everything.

A young waitress came to take their order as she saw Andrew she beamed and asked him if he wanted his usual, he gave her a nod, when she turned on Neil she smiled sweetly at him, “I’ll just have the regular waffles with chocolate syrup on the side please.”

“Great, you’re order will be ready in fifteen minutes.” With that she gathered the menus and left.

“This is a nice place, how did you know about it?”

One, two, three, four blinks was all Neil got in response, he got the feeling that Andrew was bracing himself for something he just didn’t know what it was.

“Was driving around, came across it, tried it, the end.”

“Okay, ummm… so that Maserati how did you afford it?”

At that Andrew leaned forward on the table with a look of clear mischief in his eyes, Neil was kinda startled but intrigued as well.

“How about this, for every question you ask i get a question in return.” Andrew finally said.

“So like a game we each take turns asking questions!”

“Exactly like a game.” Andrew said with a smile plastered on his face that didn’t really reach his eyes.

Neil was speared from answering as the waitress came with their orders, Andrew’s was a monstrosity of a plate, it was a heap of different kinds of ice-cream flavors topped with chocolate chips, chocolate and caramel syrup and strawberries, the waffles where no where to be seen but Neil had to assume that they were somewhere under there.

As soon as Neil took his first bite he was certain that that what heaven would feel like “mmmmmmm, this is soo good!!” He moaned, when he looked at Andrew there was a strange look on his face that he couldn’t quite decipher, “how’s yours?!” He asked but before he could answer Neil’s phone rang and as he fished it out of his pocket and saw the caller he swore

“I know I’m late, I’m on my way.” He said as soon as he picked up then immediately hung up on the caller, “I gotta go, I’m late for practice and Kevin will have my head on a spike, how much do i owe you?”

“Never mind, come i will drive you.” Andrew answered as he threw a couple of dollars on the table and headed out with Neil behind him.

“You really don’t have to, you probably have other stuff to do”

“Get in the car Josten”

The ride back was silent but it was a relaxing kind of silence, Neil really didn’t get the concept of “awkward silence”, it’s like how can silence be awkward it’s just silence.

When they arrived and Neil got out Andrew stayed in the car, “you’re not coming?” Neil asked

“No, if i got in I won’t be able to get Kevin to back off without punching him.”

“Yeah, sure okay” Neil said defeated.

“I will text you when to meet again and next time don’t you dare be late!” Andrew said, raised to fingers to his forehead and gave Neil a mock salute and drove away.

Neil really couldn’t wipe off that stupid grin from his face and no amount of yelling from Kevin did it either.

Here is chapter 2

At Long Last: Chapter 2

Warning: mention of past trauma and self harm.

So here’s the second chapter i hope you like it, i still don’t know how long it will be but i will figure it out along the way and also based on your feedback on it.

——————————————————————————

“I hate your advice.” Was Andrew’s way of greeting his therapist.

“Well hello to you too Andrew” Bee said with a sweet smile that reached her eyes.

Betsy Dobson was Andrew’s therapist which Andrew was referred to after his previous therapist gave up on him, surprisingly she’s the one that stuck with him.

She was ever soo patient with him and actually listened to him instead of just assuming how he felt or what he was thinking about and proceeding based on those assumptions.

Of course they got on the wrong foot at first what with Andrew’s temper he kept pushing her to get the disappointment over with except she didn’t disappoint him, she was ever patient and persistent with him even on the days when he wouldn’t utter a single word she was there and she never pushed back she would just sit there sipping her cocoa and talking about nothing in particular and he really appreciated it, and from there he started trusting her bit by bit, it was a rocky road but here they are years later and she was the only one after Renee his friend and sparing partner that he completely trust and could talk to about anything and everything.

“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable while i make us some hot cocoa and you can tell me why you hate my advice.” She said as she closed the door and started on the cocoa.

Andrew settled in his usual place on the couch opposite from her chair, his leg bouncing rapidly as he tried to sort his thoughts.

“There you go” she placed the hot mug next to him and settled in her chair, “ready?!” She asked with a smile on her face.

“I hate your advice.”

“Yes, you mentioned that but which advice is that?”

“To get involved in something besides school work, to try and engage with different people, that it would help me now that I’m off my meds and after…. after what happened with Derek and Aaron’s trial”

“Do you know why i advised you to do so?” She asked earnestly.

That was one of the reasons why Andrew liked Bee soo much, she considered his opinion and feeling when describing a coping method for him or advised him to do something that he wouldn’t normally do, and if he didn’t feel comfortable with whichever method they were using she had no problem changing them accordingly.

“I wasn’t in a good place after the trial, I retreated even more within myself to the point that i started itching for my meds which is crazy considering how much i hated my self when i was taking them”

Bee pursed her lips at this last part but let him continue not wanting to cut his train of thought.

“I felt even more worthless not able to protect my family from my past and i wanted to be numb for a moment and i started thinking about……ummm you know about…..”

“It’s okay take your time Andrew”

He exhaled took a sip from his too sweet, too hot cocoa and continued

“About hurting my self” and as he said it he started tugging at his black armbands that hid angry slashes across his forearm that he did himself way back when he wanted an escape from the emotional and physical pain.

She stayed silent for a moment giving him time to collect himself and continued,

“You know how proud i am with how far you’ve come since that set back, as you remember we started with small steps i asked you to try and engage more with your friends and family especially Aaron and it worked out right?! There is still a long way ahead of you too but you both have come to terms with what happened and that is a major step, so what happened that made you hate that advice soo much?”

“You know i chose to be responsible for the dorm rooms and report anyone breaking the rules which is pretty ironic since, Well it’s me but there were no other options except for sports and there is no way in hell i’m giving up smoking or following Kevin on that exy stadium with his hotheadedness and stubbornness about the damned sport, or acting classes which i would rather impale my self than participate in it”

That drew a small chuckle from Bee but she motioned Andrew to go on,

“Well, yesterday i was on a round and I stopped by this room like i had a million times before but yesterday I didn’t meet the guy who I thought lived there alone instead i met his roommate.”

“And you’re upset because you didn’t see the guy you thought lived there alone?”

“Well yes, no, I don’t know who to blame the guy for not being there or the roommate for being there.”

“I’m sorry Andrew but I’m not quite following”

Andrew took a longer moment this time, legs bouncing and fingers tapping his mug trying to rearrange his thoughts so he could explain the problem with the least amount of humiliation possible.

“I think I’m angry because that roommate guy, Neil, is….. he’s a bit, well im having a weird feeling since i met him.”

Bee didn’t laugh at him or belittle his problem instead she said, “define weird, is it good weird or bad weird?”

“I don’t know yet, all i know is that there’s this feeling at the pit of my stomach since i met him and it’s weird, and to top it all i found him hiding a kitten in the room which is against the rules so we made a deal that he would touter me in maths and in return I won’t report him.”

“Why don’t you try and sort through the weird feelings you’ve had before, think that you have two piled in-front of you one for the good weird feelings and and one for the bad weird feelings, that way you might be able to identify that particular weird feeling.”

Andrew nodded thoughtfully as her words actually made sense to him.

“So this deal, are you going to go through with it or not.”

“You know I don’t break my deals Bee”, she smiled fondly at him and continued

“So when are you meeting him again?”

“I don’t know I haven’t texted him yet” he said not meeting her eyes.

“Well you’d better hurry, he might actually help you figure out this feeling you have.” He nodded but didn’t say anything else.

“Is there anything else bothering you?”

“No, that’s all”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you next week in our usual time, but call me anytime you want or if there’s anything else bothering you.”

“Yeah i will don’t worry, thanks Bee see you next week”

“Andrew” she called for him as he reached the door, “if you want my opinion on the matter i think this is a good weird kind of feeling.” She said with a sweet smile and kindness in her eyes, which what was always Andrew saw every time she looked at him and it baffled him.

“Bye Bee”

After he left and got in his car, her words still ringing in his ears he fished out his phone, “tomorrow at 4 in the library don’t be late or the deal’s off.” He hit send tossed his phone in the glove compartment, rolled down his window and kept driving until he cleared his head.

Here is chapter 1

At Long Last: Chapter 1

Soo guys this is my first attempt at writing a fic with more than one chapter to it, i will try to post a chapter once a week i still don’t know how long it will be.

Hopefully you will like it and as always I appreciate your comments and feed back also if there is something in particular you want to see in the fic feel free to ask :)

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Neil woke up to a loud banging on his door, sometimes he slept like a rock other times just a breeze would wake him up, apparently this was “sleeping like a rock” kind of day. Finally he made it to the door after trying and failing to snap out of his sleepy state.

“what’s going on?!” It came out in a half yawn as he opened the door to an angry blonde with his fist still in the air.

“What were you napping!” The angry blond retorted and pushed his way in the dorm room past Neil.

“As a matter of fact yes, yes i was”, “wait who are you and what are you doing barging in like that?” Neil asked as he started to come to his senses.

The guy gave him a once over “I’m Andrew, I’m responsible for checking the dorms for stuff or acts that breaks the rules, where is the other guy the tall one and what are you doing here I’ve never seen you here, is this your room?”

“Yes, this is my room you must mean Matt my roommate, he’s out with his girlfriend i guess”

Andrew shrugged at that he really couldn’t care less, he just wanted to get this over with and get the hell out of this room and away from this guy.

How come he never saw him before, he was sure he would never forget this set of blue eyes if he even saw them in a fleeting moment.

“Soo are you going to look for something or are you going to just stand there?” Neil asked a bit hesitant and Andrew realized that he was staring.

“Well yes I’m looking at what a dump this is, have you heard about a little thing called cleaning, it’s an ingenious act really” Andrew deadpanned and pinned Neil with a glare.

“It’s Matt okay, he’s not big on tiding up his things, and what are you looking for exactly?” Neil was really starting to get irritated from this guy.

“Well anything really alcohol, drugs, pets” at the mention of pets Neil’s whole body tensed and any traces of sleep were really gone now.

“Who would be stupid enough to sneak in pets” he asked nervously and prayed that Andrew won’t pick up on it.

Andrew narrowed his eyes and looked at him really closely that Neil felt he can certainly see through him, “you would be surprised really” was all Andrew said as he kept looking through the room.

Neil couldn’t help but steel a glance towards his bedroom, “shit, shit, shit, the door is open, i left the door open, oh please don’t come out” he pleaded with himself but as his luck goes a small black fur ball came darting from the bedroom directly to Andrew’s leg before Neil could move.

“What the hell !!” Andrew exclaimed as he bent down to pick up the creature. Huge black eyes stared back at him and a little mew escaped from the kitten as Andrew held it up to his face.

Without a word Andrew turned to Neil with the kitten still firmly but gently held in his hand.

“You’re not gonna report that are you?” Neil asked his voice small and pleading with his eyes.

“Now why would i do that?”

“Because it’s a kitten, i found it stranded and starving on the street and it’s not gonna cause any harm look how little it is.”

“I don’t think that’s a good enough reason.”

“Come on Andrew can’t you see how helpless it is, and besides think about it, no one knows about it except for Matt and we’re not gonna report ourselves so if you don’t report us no one will know, i mean look how small and cute it is,and it’s not like it’s gonna pee on the carpet or something.”

Andrew raised his eyebrow at this last statement and stared at Neil

“Well yeah it might pee on the carpet but I’m training it and if something happens to the carpet i will replace it, come on what do you say?”

Andrew took a moment to consider the situation while stroking the kitten behind it’s ear clearly both of them enjoying it.

“Well what’s in it for me?” Andrew asked

“I can help you with your maths assignments, i always see you in the library struggling with maths.”

Andrew was taken aback by this, how come he’s never seen Neil before if Neil saw him enough times to know how he struggled with his maths assignments without Andrew ever noticing him.

“I’m really good with maths because i like it, you wont regret it i promise.” Neil continued mistaking Andrew’s silence for disapproval.

“No body likes maths.”

“Well i do, it makes sense to me so I’m in control of it.” Neil said as he smiled sheepishly at Andrew.

“Good god what is going on?” Andrew thought to himself as he felt his stomach flipping.

“Come on Andrew, what do you say?” Neil asked hopeful.

“Fine, keep your pet but if my grades aren’t up by the end of the semester the deal is off”

“Great, fair enough” Neil said happily with a shit eating grin that wasn’t at all cute.

“When do you wanna start?” He asked

“Give me your phone”

“Oh, okay just a sec i will go get it.” Neil hurried to his bedroom and tripped on his too long pants, “Idiot” Andrew thought to himself but he wasn’t sure whether he meant Neil or himself.

“There” Neil said and handed Andrew his phone, Andrew punched in his number, texted himself and tossed back the phone to Neil.

“I will text you when to meet.” Andrew said as he was already walking away “and i better not see your cat anywhere other than this room.

“Don’t worry, i’ll …….”

But before Neil could finish Andrew headed out and banged the door behind him leaving a jittery Neil behind. That was soo unlike him but he always saw Andrew studying in the library but never worked up the courage to talk to him and if an opportunity presented it self what was he supposed to do but seize it.