I need tape around my mouth because I talk too much
Saaaame
I had a friend who once duct taped her stomach smaller and it was honestly one of the hottest things I’ve seen (even though she was beautiful no matter her size!) and now that’s what duct tape reminds me of.
As much as I enjoy doing Pick a Card readings on YouTube, it does not come close to the solemnity and sanctity of performing face-to-face sessions. With general readings, I have to speak broadly. But face-to-face, I become a conduit of the old gods… speaking truths unspoiled by my ego, my hopes, my thoughts.
BEFOREHAND
Days before you visit, I will ask you to think of three questions on different aspects of your life. I will tell you that if you wish, for the first, I can simply give you an overview of your past, present and future.
THE ENVIRONMENT
Upon entering my sacred space, you will find that the lighting is warm and dim. You will hear quiet music around you to calm your mind. You will feel cool air that is refreshing to inhale. And the smell will be sweet. Like flowers in the air.
THE OFFERING
I will ask you to sit in front of me. Instead of tarot cards, you will see three wooden bowls on the round table between us.
The first contains dark chocolates. We will each have one. You, as an offering to your higher self, asking its permission to be deciphered. Me, as an offering to the old gods, who will use my voice to speak with.
The second bowl will have hot towels, one for each of us, to cleanse away any lingering negative energies. So that when we both touch the cards with our hands, tarot connects to our true energy.
The third bowl will have a different set of towels, simply for us to dry our hands with.
I will set them all aside, place a velvet cloth on the table, and a tarot deck in my hands.
THE INVOCATION
Together, we will take four deep breaths. You, as you focus on your question. Me, as I calm my body before the old gods take over.
I will ask you to state your query. Let us say it is about love.
You will see me shuffle the cards as I say, “I call upon the Moirai, Holders of Destiny. Clotho, the Spinner, I summon you. Lachesis, the Allotter, I invoke you. Atropos, the Inevitable, I invite you. Venus, Goddess of Love, Beauty and Harmony — everything we desire in life — I seek you.”
I will relay your name and query to them. Let us say it is Jane. “I implore you to allow us a glimpse of Jane’s destiny. She would like to know about love. Will she find it? When and with whom? What can she look forward to? Anything she should be wary of? We would be grateful for anything you will allow us to know.”
So that the cards can touch the thread of your life, I will ask you to cut the deck in half, twice, and to break it in seven piles. I will put the deck back together and start laying out your cards in a Celtic Cross.
THE READING ITSELF
I will speak the position and name of each card as I lay it. After the spread is complete, you will hear me explain each of the thirteen.
The lights are dim for two reasons. Because the Fates live next to Hades and are not used to harsh lighting… and so that the light is focused only on me and your cards, when I show them to you one by one.
As I explain to you the symbols on each card, presenting them as evidence for every message, you will know that my words are not merely based on assumptions or taken from a scripted template. Because instead of hearing highfalutin words, you are seeing your very life… the people around you… your darkest fears… and your greatest hopes… painted on the cards right in front of your eyes.
I will speak your name repeatedly, helping you grasp that these hidden truths are being revealed to you directly.
After I have explained each card to you, I will close your reading by highlighting the advice, the warning, and above all, the prediction you received.
I will ask you if you have any clarifications. Instead of those, you will have exclamations. You will say something along the lines of, “I thought you would only say generic things. But instead you described my life in detail.” You will start laughing or crying. Sometimes both. I will offer you a tissue box so your tears do not wet my cards.
We will move on to your next question, repeating a part of the invocation.
AFTERWARDS
You will ask me when you should come back. I will tell you that you probably should not. That sometimes, a person only needs to have one tarot reading in their life.
But in a few days, weeks or months, when my predictions have come true, you will come back anyway, asking more about your tomorrow and your yesterday.
