↳ Choices we’re bound to make in life don’t always turn out well, and you would have to learn that the hard way, maybe should you have listened to your sister when she tried to dissuade you from marrying a man that you didn’t know, as charming as he might seem.
“You should smile a bit more, it’s supposed to be the best day of your life after all.” You spoke in a low voice, finally breaking the silence.
“Of our life,” corrected your interlocutor. “But you you’re not smiling either.”
“I’ve got a veil over my head, if you hadn’t noticed. Everyone doesn’t have your hawk eyes.”
You slowly turn towards him, scrutinising the outlines of his silhouette through the mesh of tissue separating you from the world. His eyes were riveted on the assembly in front of you, his opalescent irises visibly sensitive to the faintest visual stimulus. You couldn’t perceive all the details of his face, but you could see enough to discern the frustrated look he wore: frowned eyebrows, casting a gloomy darkness over his eyes. You could also guess, through the contrast of colors, the line formed by his pursed lips, a downcast concave arc, only affirming the moroseness decorating his sweet thing of a face.
A sigh escapes from your mouth. This wasn’t at all how you imagined the course of things. You even came to wonder whether or not he’d get rid of you as soon as possible, relieving himself of all the responsibilities that cumbered him because of you. You could already kiss goodbye your plans of all-inclusive family protection.
It was patent, at the end of every round from the clock’s arrows, that silence was getting heavier, weighting more and more on your shoulders. You tried to lure your mind by confusing on the surrounding banalities, ears stretched towards the laughter and joyous voices of good conduct and anecdotes. Through the cacophony, you made out the sound of clanking glasses with each other, probably coming from friends that had nothing to do with the traditionalism of his clan. Thinking about it, it might have been your mannerless sister who was pouring the sake, or champagne; there was no way of knowing.
You, as well as your parents, had greatly apprehended Yuki’s behaviour during this ceremony. It a wedding as traditional as could be, with its fervent conservatives that never missed their duty in badmouthing mores and old-fashioned customs. In your misery, you could at least agree with the fact that they didn’t try to hide things from you, from the outfit worn by your in-laws on the day you’d met them, to the indecent number of tailors, florists, and seniors that had come to help you prepare for this day; but that didn’t make the greatness of things any less grand.
“Can you see anything with that on your head?” Your spouse’s voice startles you out of your thoughts. You didn’t really expect him to engage in conversation with you, not after the cold reply that he’d served you earlier.
You slowly put your left hand on the floor, tilting towards him, getting a semblance of balance. You could feel that he didn’t want to raise his voice more than this or to attract more attention towards the both of you, but this silence probably bothered him too. In fact, he was known for being a joyful person, a happy-go-merry lad who always had the right word to ease the atmosphere. Even though, believing Utahime’s words, he sometimes gave in to arrogance and disdain, playing with his “victim’s” fears and weaknesses.
You had five long years to face your responsibilities, taking the first train and breaking the wall that you’d built between the two of you by refusing to meet him; but for several reasons, you never had the courage to do so. And what you refused to admit, whether to yourself or to those who incited you to take action, was that Gojo Satoru scared you. You’d never met two persons that said the same thing about him, sometimes he was a progressive, other times a bloodthirsty manipulator. One day he had a big heart, another day he showed himself to be devoid of any trace of humanity. And you dreaded which facet he’d wear with you, he too had been forced into this, what would hold him back from hating you?
“Not really,” you whisper to him. “Just shadows.”
He then mirrored your posture by landing his hand close to yours, reducing the sparse space between you even more. Seen from afar, one could almost think of you as accomplices; head against head, confiding in each other. You were now so close that you could feel his scent teasing your nostrils, deliciously masculine and intoxicating. You could easily get used to it, to this scent on your clothes as well as on your skin.
“So why are you wearing it?” He asked.
“For tradition, I suppose.”
A silence even more awkward than before fell soundlessly between you. You felt your veil’s tissue moving from the breath he’d just let out before hearing him clearing his throat, eyes lost once again into the crowd.
“So you’re like this…” He concludes.
“You know nothing about me.” You shot back.
“That’s funny, because if you hadn’t systematically refused to meet me, I could have known you,” He paused, probably thinking that you were nothing more than a capricious brat that said things, accepted circumstances without ever embracing the consequences.
You were both under the yoke of this inquisition, neither of you was happy about ending up bound to the other, but he had done things for you. When Yuki solicited him, he hadn’t hesitated for even a second to postpone the wedding even though he had nothing to gain from it, on the contrary. He had pulled, pulled and pulled more on the strings held in hands to arrange this little princess, frail and fragile, that he had to marry just for her to end up not even deigning to meet him.
A voice in your head screamed at you to open up to him, to trust him, but would he really understand? Could a man that had everything ever understand a woman that had lost everything? Once again, your fear paralysed you. You didn’t know whether he’d hear you out, listen to you, or simply take what comforted him in his image of you; an image that didn’t seem all that glorious in your eyes.
“I have my reasons.” A short but curt reply.”
“And you don’t think that five years were largely enough to share them with me? We’re going to live together and build a family. From today on, your name is Gojo,” He reminded you.
“Do you understand the scope of things at least?” Before he could even notice, he had raised his tone, making you slightly push away from him, straightening up into your initial position.
You cast your eyes to the ground, almost ashamed. It had been barely five minutes since you started talking and here you were already being nagged. He didn’t think that you could grasp the extent of your responsibilities, of all the sacrifices that you had to make for him. To be honest, he wasn’t wrong, at least not entirely. You didn’t resist the idea of your husband being a man feared by society, he was dangerous, and didn’t let himself be controlled by anyone. And deep down, you respected this side of him, having witnessed first handedly the drifting of society within which you lived. But what you couldn’t imagine for now, was to what lengths this same society, without mentioning heads nor names, was ready to go to break your husband. You could easily conceive the stratagems crafted in an attempt to maintain him out of harm’s way as well as their potential repercussions, but your mind couldn’t accept that one could sacrifice lives just to protect a so-called balance. Gojo knew it. He had paid the price, even, and he almost had pity in the fact that you were unconsciously putting yourself under the spotlights. It was as though you had launched yourself in a hunting party, loaded with weapons but having forgotten the munitions.
Your reaction had somehow caught him off guard since he didn’t want to intimidate you or instigate a relationship of dominant and dominated. He looked at your small hand, still poised close to his, before mumbling something then carelessly getting closer to you. He put the palm of his hand over the back of yours before delicately sliding the pad of his fingers over the length of your arm. Without understanding much as to why, your hairs stood on end, the touch of his skin still burning over yours. He seized your arm as gently as he could before pulling you towards him, recreating a semblance of intimacy.
“I’ll never hurt you. All I ask of you is to trust me, otherwise it would have all been in vain.” He said softly.
He was right, and even if it would be difficult, you had to trust him if you wanted to gain any advantage you sought. Your eyes focused on the sole thing that you could see, your small hand on the floor and the ring that now crowned your finger. A resplendent diamond that his mother had offered you during your first encounter, a mother that loved her son. A mother that wanted to protect her son at all cost, but who wasn’t ready to sacrifice a life in order to save another, no matter how much she wanted to.
“I’ll do everything in my power to make this marriage work, but I need time…”
“To?” He waited for you to respond.
“To…” While searching for your words, you slowly realised that you were formulating answers to questions you were never able to ask yourself, thus re-establishing some order into the maze within which had morphed your mind along the years.
Your eyes slowly started to water, tears clenching an invisible vice around your throat, thus holding back the words that you were ready to confess. It was no secret, you needed time to learn to do things right, to learn how to avoid being clumsy. You wanted to pull down your cocoon, to squander your shell and let him breathe some of your air; that’s what he seemed to expect from you, and the price was worth it. But a restrain, call it the blacksmith’s life, firmly held onto the leash that you were trying to let go of.
He seemed to understand that it wouldn’t be today that you’d play cards on the table, maybe it was because of the melancholy that he could read in your face when you turned your head towards him, or maybe the weak shrug of your shoulders as you moved; whatever it was, he clearly understood that it would be meaningless to push this conversation any further. You were already on the verge of tears, and even if it were customary for a woman to cry on her wedding day, he was ready to put money on the fact that it was for entirely different reasons. He now needed to find a way to clear the overly morose air and lift your lips upward.
“Did you know that they served whiskey during traditional weddings?” He asked out of the blue, wiping off your mournful expressing and replacing it with a gigantic question mark.
“Really? Since when?” You answer, totally confused.
“Since a few hours ago apparently, I hope for you that she knows how hold her liquor.”
Who the hell was he talking about? But to your horror, you didn’t know many people who had so little respect for traditions, one of them being less than 10 centimetres away from you.
“Please, tell me it’s not Yuki…” Your eyes widened.
“Alright, I won’t say it,” he taunted you by lifting a hand in the air.
Once again, you had the urge to take a shovel and dig what would soon become your grave, far from the prying eyes, probably heavy with judgment, and the shame that you felt. You and your parents had spent hours and hours trying to convince her to adopt, for even one day, the politically correct, given that it would end up with repercussions on your person. The most annoying part in all of this was that at the time, she seemed to show signs of comprehension and to accept to behave decently. Niet. Tsukumo Yuki would only ever do what she pleased, it was almost a fatality.
His shoulder made contact with yours in a light manner, eyes full of satire. You could finally see the childish side of Gojo Satoru, slowly uncovering right in front of your eyes. Utahime has probably gone through all different shades of suffering to call him an idiot -along with many other names. But in your case, it didn’t really bother you all that much, you even enjoyed this kind of teasing, as long as you could distinguish his intentions. And if, just like in this moment, it was devoid of any perverse motive, you could probably get used to it.
You decide to reciprocate the movement, colliding your shoulder to his forearm, unable to touch his shoulder due to the height difference. He could easily discern the slight frown of your brows when a little laugh escaped from his mouth: there he was mocking you! You didn’t wait before riposting, your little fingers were already fraying a path on his arm before pinching him, showcasing how if he didn’t want to end up as blue as smurf, he’d better avoid making any remarks about your small stature.
“If it’s any comfort, long drinks of water aren’t really my thing.”
“I’ll make sure to tell Yuki.”
“Could it be possible to buy your silence? Mochis? Maybe a pet?”
“You’re scared of my sister? Really?” Now, this was interesting.
“Me? Of course not, come on.” He denied immediately. “I’m just looking for a way to fill my role as a husband and offer you things, tinker bell told me that you had a hard time accepting gifts. I’ll gladly admit, though, that your sister isn’t the type of person one would want on their back.”
“They say the same about you.” You retorted.
“I’m the strongest, after all.” His voice held an aura of pride.
You softly blow from the nose, he was without a doubt the most powerful exorcist of your generation— since many years now. But hearing this affirmation, pronounced in such a laidback way, and with so much confidence; it was funny. He grimaced before clicking his tongue.
“Does my wife doubt me?” He continues.
Hearing him say that so offhandedly made the blood rush up to your cheeks, reminding you that your discussion wasn’t one that two friends would have around a meal. It was that of young married couple, that was supposed to create bonds stronger than sickness, misery and misfortune. He was your husband and you had to get used to it.
“Your wife finds you a bit too full of yourself.” You said teasingly.
“Until proven otherwise, you haven’t answered my question.” He replied without missing a beat.
You took a long inhale, you didn’t want to play hard to get and say that you didn’t believe him to be so strong, just because you didn’t believe it. But you also didn’t want to go with his flow, a little something in his voice hinted that he was enjoying this little play, and you were ready to entertain.
“I know the man I’m marrying.”
“At the risk of disappointing you, I don’t think you know me all that well. But I can’t really blame you, at least not for this, right?” He asked you while switching positions.
He was now half stretched out, his right arm behind your back. His head was at your shoulder’s level, and he didn’t hesitate long before lying on it, appreciating the softness of your kimono’s material.
The soft breeze of the afternoon was playing with the tissues and strands of hair, spinning them at Aeolus’ will. Usually, you’d enjoy the zephyr’s breath, dry and hot weathers weren’t really your cup of tea. However, you found it more annoying than anything else, at this very moment, and your partner seemed to be of the same opinion. Your veil threatened to fly away at any moment now, forcing you to hold it down between your little fingers. Gojo, for his part, had to puff it away each time a piece came free and obstructed his sight, which happened quite often given his posture.
“Your wife only asks to know you, then.” You said softly.
Your reply caught him off guard, he lifted his eyes towards you, tilting his neck even more. You suspected that he was trying to take advantage of the wind, waiting for the moment when your veil would lift to give him a direct view at your face. So you grab as much tissue as possible before pulling it towards yourself, obliterating the smallest of openings to his great disappointment. A chuckle escaped your lips as you heard the small groan of frustration he emitted, to be honest, you were even proud.
“Alright, alright. I’ve been uncovered.” He said begrudgingly.
“Patience is a virtue, Gojo.” You reminded him.
“Virtue that seems to be lacking, Tsukumo. Come on! Which wise head had the bright idea of putting a veil on a woman for her wedding day. Who knows what could be hidden under this-” He pointed to the veil, “-I mean, I wouldn’t dare imagine how many men found themselves stuck with plain Janes because of this stupid tradi- everything alright?”
He laid his worried gaze on your small trembling figure. In fact, your shoulders were shaking frantically, as though fed on a supercharged battery. It was unseemly to burst into laughter during overly crowded ceremonies, whatever the nature of the ceremony in question, and so this was why you were trying your utmost to refrain the fit of laughter that was ready to take over. One could even wonder if Gojo ever heard himself talk, or if he even realised how absurd he could sound.
He frowned, understanding the reason of your current physical state then he pushed you, pretending to be offended. “And here she’s mocking me!”
“You just called me a plain Jane!” You add while mimicking his gesture.
“Absolutely not, I’m just saying that some have eh…less luck than others. You don’t think that I’m right, not even a bit?” He cocked his head a little.
You had to admit that even in his stupidity, there was a certain foundation basis. You doubted that the problem to him wasn’t a piece of tissue but rather the instrumentality of a bond meant to be sacred. There shouldn’t be anything cumbering someone to bound themselves forever to someone they didn’t know. It was a liberticidal and medieval practice, that even if in certain circumstances would end into something beautiful, mostly caused more pains than gains. And you couldn’t help but think that in every case where an arranged marriage worked, the merit always went to the husband who was more obliging than he ought to be. Especially in your case, in a field where love seemed to have no importance.
“Of course-”
“See! I’m always right,” He cuts you off.
You rolled your eyes before pulling more material from your veil toward yourself, tightening your grip on the space between your neck and face.
“Even so, that’s not a reason for me to let you feast your eyes. Plus, isn’t your your six eyes supposed to let you see everything?” You asked.
“It’s more complicated than that, I’ll explain one day, promise. In the meantime, I believe it’s time. Do you have the rings?”
His question was only met with confusion. “Which rings? I have no…”
“You forgot our wedding rings? “ He asked incredulously.
“What?! But I wasn’t the one supposed to bring them! No one told me!”
Not quite sure of what to do, you started to wiggle left and right, to and fro, as though your body was trying to invoke the jewels. You were hoping that your sister would notice the agitation and fly to your rescue, like she always did, but how to know if you had the attention of anyone when you couldn’t even see to more than 10 centimetres? But you were quickly cut in your movement by a big hand tapping on your thigh several times, making you regain your calm.
“Now, now, I’m kidding! They’re with your sister,” he articulates between two laughs. If he wanted to embarrass you, then he clearly succeeded.
Your only response was to hit his palm with yours several times, without much force to inflict any pain but rather to showcase how lame you found his joke.
Gojo freed your thigh before finally getting up, the rustling of tissues indication movement. He smiled to several people before beckoning Yuki. This kind of ceremony could and should normally last way longer than this. But this pack of apparent hypocrisy and false courtesy annoyed him enough to cut it short.
“Hey lovebirds, I hope you’re not too bored over here.” She says, overjoyed, before throwing a small box toward your spouse, he thanks her with a wink.
“Yuki,” you say once you recognise her, your joy more than evident.
She grasped you by the shoulders before turning your around, your back now to the crowd, shielded from the indiscrete eyes of the guests- as well as Gojo’s. Yuki put a knee on the floor before bending the tip of the veil still on top of your head before pulling it over, sliding hers under. It was impossible to talk with all these people around, yet she had a solution to everything.
“Nice one-on-one, right?” She teased while sticking her forehead to yours.
“I can hear them berate from here, you shouldn’t do this.”
“That’s Gojo grumbling because he can’t be in my shoes.” She said with raised voice.
“So, how are things? Everything okay?” She asked. That was a good question, to which you had no real answer. To be completely honest, you’d learnt to detach yourself from reality, to be a spectator in your own life rather than the actress. If you couldn’t always decide, then you’d rather not suffer. So you played the role you were assigned, you sang your opera till the curtains fell, away from the indiscrete gazes and breakable hearts. But not wanting to worry your sister, you just lie, one more time.
“Oh yes, yes. Everything’s for the best, don’t worry. He, however, is starting to lose patience I think.” You replied finally.
“Gojo? He was born with an eye on the watch, it’s out of his control. Good luck bearing with him, sis,” she commiserates satirically.
“I can hear you,” he throws in, busy smoothing down his clothes, tired of sitting down.
Yuki waved her hand in a way that says to shut up, not caring about what he could hear or think. All that she cared about at this moment was to know that you weren’t regretting anything, and that if deep down you wished to cancel this wedding but didn’t dare to say it, ashamed or scared of disappointing. She locked her gaze abnormally serious into yours, she was trying to spot any hint of unease, after all, eyes were truly the mirror of the soul. But to her great disappointment, she couldn’t see anything; your usually sparkly irises, were wan, pale and empty, devoid of any emotion. She could see neither joy nor pain, neither regret nor apprehension; absolute void. She wasn’t really sure whether what she was looking for was more worrying than what she’d found.
However, Yuki knew that questioning you or trying to make your spill the beans would be in vain, a little sister even more closed off than herself. So she shut up, tucked her worries in before landing a soft kiss on your forehead, a kiss meant to be reassuring, slowly murmuring that whatever happened, she’d forever be by your side. She stepped away and put back the white lace over your face before throwing a small velvety box toward Gojo, a box that he effortlessly caught mid-fly. He thanked her with the back of his hand before she got up, decolonizing the nuptial space that was meant for you and your spouse and returned to your parents, leaving you along once again.
“The priest is here, let’s get up.” He lends you his hand so you can stand up.
You put your small fingers in his big palm, squeezing it while hoping that it’d be enough for you to straighten up. That said, your kimono was quite tight due to the enormous amount of clothes under it, and you couldn’t bend your knee correctly to get up, thus losing your balance. You almost kissed the floor if it weren’t for Gojo who’d leaned toward you in order to hold you up discretely.
His hand was on your hip, while you grabbed onto both of his forearms, unconsciously digging your nails into his flesh. You could feel his hot breath on your forehead, then his head tilted down, his lips were now closer to the lines of your ear.
“Everything good?” He whispered before letting you go, having made sure that you weren’t about to fall once more.
You nodded timidly, still under the effect of the close proximity, so new and so sudden. Being this small- smaller than you’d imagined, your head ended up on his collarbone, the part of his body that wasn’t covered by the outfit. If it weren’t for the veil, your lips would have been directly in contact with his skin, this thought alone created a sort of uneasiness inside of you. It reminded you of the day when your uniform had ripped off, showing off your belly as well as a part of your chest, under the stupefied gaze of a certain Zenin.
He then gets away from you, trying to get into a respectable distance from your body (he probably thought that you were uneasy because of the physical contact with a stranger) but close enough for his stretched arms to reach for you.
You didn’t understand what was going on until the deafening silence draped the crowd that uttered neither words nor agitation. So straightened up, straight as a stick while facing your spouse who snorted before putting his hand on the small of your back, hinting that you should turn around toward the priest instead of him. You pinned as good as you could, delicately moving your feet as little as possible, in order to be in the best position.
“Sit down,” the holy man indicates.
“We’re gonna stay up, that will make things faster.” Gojo said coolly.
The priest, knowing whom he was facing, didn’t insist more than that, fearing the consequences. Even though, deep down, you knew that Gojo would never go that far, these brief moments made you realise the scope of what the strongest could inspire in others. Disaster, desolation and misfortune must be all that he left behind; he had to feel quite lonely, in the end.
You could easily guess the movements of the man before you, he practiced the rites with great meticulousness, carrying out all these ancestral rituals of purification, or benediction, you never really understood all the flights of fancy. To be more precise, you never really tried to understand; to you, marriage was simply done to tell others that two persons were bound, surely not to get any sort of benediction. And you also didn’t think that a ceremony had any specific value within the couple: its solidarity, its longevity and its purity only depended on the commitment that the married couple was ready to pour in, not of some bowl of holy sake.
The psalms resonating in your ears were incredibly intoxicating. The procession of litanies was probably used to bring joy and benediction to your union before the gods. Even though you didn’t believe more than that, they managed to appease your soul and to put the flames consuming you to sleep. This spiritual atmosphere calmed you down more than you’d like to admit, “So that’s why there were so many believers in the world?”
Then the priest poured a bowl of sake that he extended to your spouse. If your memory weren’t failing you, it was the key moment of every shinto marriage. He lifted the little porcelain utensil to his lips, before taking three successive sips. The priest served his liquor one more time, this one for you.
You lifted your veil enough to reveal your lips before taking the bowl, not without struggle. Noticing your unease, Gojo, gentleman that he could be, relieved you of task so that you could lift the china with both hands, gripping the front of the veil, lifting it forward, enough for you to drink at ease, three sips too. You handed the bowl to the priest so that he can fill it once more, then Gojo drinks a second time, thus sealing your fates forever.
Then came the moment that you were looking forward to the most, and that made it so your spouse couldn’t stay put: the ring exchange. You could see his immaculate teeth through the mesh of your lace, telling you long and wide about the smile engraved on his face. What a brat.
Wearing the veil had nothing to do with tradition, if you must admit it; or at least not among Japanese ones. When it was time for preparations to start and the imperatives of your honeymoon, you’d clashed head first with the conservative customs of the Gojo clan. You wanted to wear a white dress, no matter what, discovering the stupor of your husband as he lifted your veil, throwing your bouquet and laughing without any restrain as ladies fought to catch it. Simply put, you wanted a laic occidental wedding while they tried at all cost to impose a shinto one in its purest form.
And to plead your cause, you could rely -to your great surprise- on your future mother-in-law who had never missed a chance to graciously underline to the clans’ elders that times had improved, and that the youth was detaching itself more and more from the customs of their generation, even going as far as to say that it was the will of her son to have a laic wedding -when the truth was that he didn’t give a damn. He had entrusted all of his responsibilities to his mother who had bent over backwards to meet your requests, having neither the time nor the desire to participate in such mundane things.
You could still remember the day when everyone had finally agreed, it had been the hundredth and endless reunion « opposing » from one side you and your mother-in-law to the elders of the Gojo clan, and none of them was determined to give up not even one decision to your free will. You were all sat on tatamis, the two sides separated by low pieces of furniture, probably sculpted from wood of exorbitant price. Next to each of you, were laid cups full and still steaming that no one had the time to savour. You had been welcome, like every other time, by sullen faces, animated with a parade of « no and synonyms » every time that you’d formulated the smallest request, and you weren’t in a position of power. You needed this marriage more than the clan, and more than Gojo himself; so you were in no position to throw ultimatums or threatening to pull away, given your temperament, they’d be the first to open the exit doors for you.
That was how it went, at least until…
You felt the warm and delicate hand of your mother-in-law land apologetically on yours, you could feel through the gesture that she wanted to be of more help but the situation was out of her hands, it was out of both of your pairs of hands. She closed her eyes before opening them again, hinting that it was time to give up negotiations, pushing them further would only harm your reputation. Because, even if Satoru was by far the strongest and the most feared, it was never good to have the reputation of a rebel within a family that did everything to keep him under leash. You were about to give your consent for the ceremony’s details when the sound of doors slamming against their frames tilted the centre of your attention toward the entrance where the lines of a silhouette, a bit too familiar to your taste, started to form.
“Yo! I knew that it was a mommy’s meeting, but this…you literally rival with Nefertiti!” Mocks the young woman as she leisurely strolls around the room, not even deigning to take off her shoes.
“Lord, may you help us…” you mumble under your breath while covering your eyes with your palm, not knowing what else to do. It was really really the last person you hoped to see at this moment.
It was outrageous, and the cronies around you didn’t bother hiding it, letting out little gasps while covering their mouths with their hands, some even dared to tell your sister to go. Big mistake…
“So,” your sister acquitted as she threw her hindquarters on the ground like an oaf, legs spread wide open before putting her bowl on the low table. “I heard that the negotiations were stalling so i came to play Belgium.”
“-It’s Switzerland”…you whispered discretely.
“Switzerland, pardon me” she corrects while coughing.
You didn’t dare to tear your eyes away from your hand, all you wanted was for the earth to open up and swallow you. Your mother-in-law, as embarrassed as you, put her hand on your back, rubbing you tenderly to reassure you. Like she told you every time, whatever happens her son would protect her, even when he seemed to be away today.
“Everything is totally fine, we were just about to wrap things up.” Starts one of the crackling voices
“Really? White dress white roses and white wine?” She asked hopefully.
You squeezed your eyes more tightly as you heard her mention alcohol, wishing that she’d just shut up for once. You somehow still found the strength to shake your head in negative, but before your sister could say even more, the same voice continued her explanation.
“It will be a shinto wedding, they will be united before men and gods following the tradition and like we do it since aeons ago, and no stranger has their word to say.”
“I can confirm that you’ve traveled aeons with your customs under your arms. I admit that strangers don’t have their word to say from the moment the main subject is reduced to suffering through your feudal services. You’ve noticed how Satoru stayed out of this whole thing, right? And you’re joyfully taking advantage of it because he’s not here threatening to light your heads on fire one by one.”
One of the women was about to say something, probably contradicting and pretending that he’d perfectly given his consent, not doubting for even a second that him and Yuki were long-time friends. The latter lifted her finger to prevent her from doing so, keeping up the flow of her words.
“Let me tell you that he’s not happy at all, and that if my sister doesn’t get what she wants today, and now, he’ll be the one to walk through these doors next time.
And I think you already know him well enough to know that it’s better not to upset him, at least not more than he already is.” She marks a pause, giving them time to soak in the information and weight their options. “So? Ask her immediately what she wants for her wedding.” She concludes by hitting her fist on the table, after having put enough pressure on the word « her », the choice legitimately going back to the spouse, and thus a fortiori only to you.
“What do you want my child?” A third voice asks you. That was the first time when you couldn’t discern an ounce of authority or inquisition.
You’re about to calming things down, waiting for the situation to cool down so that you wouldn’t attract their wrath once the time comes by announcing that you were perfectly alright with what they had suggested, and that they had convinced you. But, having probably anticipated your reaction, Yuki cuts you by gesturing for you to shut up.
“I’ll answer for her, she will wear our mother’s white dress, they’ll exchange their vows and offer their rings.”
“That won’t be possible for the dress, it will be a kimono that she’ll have the luxury to pick. It has to be white, that goes without saying.”
The signs of a categorical refusal were starting to appear on the -so far- relaxed traits of your sister’s face, and you absolutely didn’t want to see her getting angry. So you took the reigns, to hell with what anyone thought. You didn’t know whether the story about Gojo was even real or if it were just another betting game, but you were certain that he’d cover for you anyway. He’d promised after all.
“Wait. I accept the kimono, on the condition that we replace the…the thing that we put over the head with a veil that my mother wore.”
It seemed like a good compromise, you didn’t reject their traditions, but you seasoned them with your own sauce. It was a policy that you’d better start adopting in all of your interactions with them.
The women exchanged a silent conversation through their eyes before accepting, a sigh of relief escaping from your mouth. Your mother-in-law then added one last detail.
“My son will deal with the rings, but you could accompany him if you’d like.”
You smiled at her before discretely shaking your head negatively. You were, more or less, one year away from the wedding date, but you still hadn’t found the courage to meet him, not sure if you would find the words or on the contrary, saying too much and compromising all that had yet to be built.
Your sister then got up without asking for her due, gesturing you to call her once this whole masquerade was over. And so, you end up refining what had to be refined with much more power. You could never thank your sister enough.
The memory stretches your lips, now that you thought of it, it was quite funny. Planning everything just for a madwoman to burst in with her boots and soil years of diktat, it must have been a hard pill to swallow at this moment. You’d learnt later on that your spouse had indeed a role to play, that he himself didn’t see what could possibly hold him back from causing a massacre at the time.
But you could still hear that voice, deep inside, incessantly reminding you that you were nothing but a puppet, a marionette in the hands of more powerful people. You were the one from whom they stripped freedom but it was your sister who’d fly to your rescue, like we’d rescue a birdie from the maws of a feline. You were the one who had choices imposed on her but you couldn’t stand back up, being content with watching others battle in your stead, what dragged you down ever deeper within your lethargy was a vicious cycle from which you could never escape. All the responsibilities from which your sister had run away had fallen on your shoulders: you had to protect yourself, protect your sister, protect your mother and father from a danger that wouldn’t exist if Yuki had just done what she was told. But could you even blame her when you wanted to do exactly the same?
You weren’t even sure who you should blame, yourself for being so weak, you sister for having built a life at the expense of her family, your parents who’d let her while insidiously projecting their expectations on you, or this society that had used you. You needed a culprit if you wanted to stay sane, but you couldn’t seem to find one.
This is why you’d refused to meet with Gojo during all this time, getting to know him would force you to think about your due date, about the fact that you never managed to impose your opinion, and all that you couldn’t control. About all the questions that couldn’t seem to find an answer, about the questions that stirred a falling hate that you slammed shut inside your heart. And you surpassed, you forgot, you ignored as much as you could, you went with the flow of the waves so that they wouldn’t fall on you. But deep down, you knew it, you knew that this marriage would be your downfall. You could feel that, one way or another, Gojo Satoru would be your demise.
He, who now stood in front of you: his delicate and tender wife. He gets closer and lifts up your veil, discovering the face with which he’s meant to live, the first thing he’d see in the morning and the last before sleeping. He runs his eyes through your features, blushed by a smile that you struggled to keep, and even this scarf that was supposed to cover you wasn’t enough to conceal his change of attitude. You were no longer the same person he’d been conversing with, you were no longer the one he’d seen himself talking to about everything and nothing around a good coffee. it was as though someone else had substituted for you, as though someone had replaced a young bud with a shell that threatened to break at the slightest puff of wind. No, you were already broken, reduced to smithereens by the hard truth, too hard to carry.
But he wasn’t conscious of the hidden truth behind you melancholic face, he didn’t know that while he was getting closer to you, your subconscious was writing down all your hate, all your pain towards him. And he knew even less, when his lips landed against yours, that the only thoughts going through your eyes were those of one thousand and one ways of running away.
You had spent five years trying to love this marriage.
It took five minutes for these fragile constructions to crumble down and send you back to the starting line.
It was much easier to blame others for your own weakness, wasn’t it? If only you’d had the courage to affirm yourself, not to let your fear of deceiving all those who had born all their hopes on you overwhelm you. You were condemned to make choices when the choice itself constitutes the absence of freedom, and you couldn’t bear it anymore, you were on your knees, out of breath, at the edge of the chasm of dementia, condemned to be a spectator to the people around you, them making their own decisions and writing their own stories.
“Why can’t I do it? Why them and not me?” You’d ask yourself over and over again. It may seem absurd but you couldn’t understand someone like him, spoiled by nature, arrogant and cynical, always getting what he wanted and not you, you who’d spent nights patching your own wounds, having to look at your troubled reflection soaked in tears, having to challenge and convince your body to bear with it, to forget and to find the force not to crumble down because it was still not enough…
You had, at the same time, none and all the reasons in the world to hate him, and the balance of your mind tilted dangerously towards the irrational. And that, no one would ever know, and even he wouldn’t have noticed it if he weren’t born with a head start.
During all this time, his six eyes was scrutinising you, studying every osciliation of your pupils, peeling every morsel of your skin that stretched into a smile or on the contrary, that was breaking down. And he was not dupe, he could not afford to be dupe, not when so many people jostled each other to see him dead.
And he tells himself, as he seals a marriage destined to failure with a chilly kiss, that you would be, one way or another, his downfall.
Then came the calm after the storm, he accompanied you wordlessly to your family that you sought so hard to protect, he greeted them before pretexting some foolish excuse or another before slipping away, leaving you at the arms of a comfort he’d never be close to providing.
You wanted for this moment to last eternally, you didn’t want to stop hearing the voice of your father, nor to stop feeling the warm arms of your mother, and even less to think that you’d be separated from your role model: Yuki. So you took shelter in what would soon become a memory, animated images behind your eyelids. You could almost forget about the crowd around you, your new family and your husband.
But it’s not about the calm after the storm, it’s rather about the calm before the storm. And this same storm was getting closer to you, a wicked smile stained with jealousy plastered to the face.
“All my best wishes, and here I thought you’d be canceling the wedding.”
You didn’t think, given the heavy burden already orating your shoulders, that the situation could get any worse, in a drastic way; and yet, there was a detail you’d neglected. Maybe it was due to the lack of time, lack of courage or maybe just because you knew damn well that he’d put a spoke in your wheels, but you had never put Naoya in the know.
Ever since you’d announced the news to him, he’d added a weight to the scale of your miseries because, even if it seemed to come from purely good intentions, he’d never realise the scope of the repercussions if he’d ever managed to cancel the wedding -or at least try to cancel it. Stuck between your desire to keep everything secret and to keep a semblance of control, you’d chosen the easy way, the one of cowardice, and to tell him that the wedding was called off, rather than postponed. You’d told yourself that within five years, you’d find the time to explain things to him, that you’d find the power to tell him the truth and to convince him to calmly stay put; but time had gone by way too fast, laying it on thick.
And seeing him like this made the blood freeze in your veins, your face blanching out of all its festive colors. You could feel your heart thumping, not sure why, it was beating so fast in front of him. You stretched one of your hands towards him, clutching into his arm as if your life depended on it. “Don’t leave me, please.” Your soul cried to him while your face crumpled by the minute.
“Naoya,” you try to articulate. “Let me explain-” He dragged you out of the crowd, leaving your family bathing in utter confusion.
You were overwhelmed by all the eyes staring at you, how all this must have looked unseemly for a newlywed to throw her arms at the heir of an enemy clan. But nothing mattered to you at the moment, you needed a way to patch the broken pieces of this relationship after having shattered it with your own two hands. Once away from the indiscreet eyes, he violently shoved you away, eyes full of animosity that destroyed you.
“It’s not what you think!“ of course it is !
“And what do I think?”
“That I lied to you!” That’s exactly what you did !
His eyes were turning red, every little venule roaming his globes were breaking under the adrenaline, staining red the surrounding white.
He clenched his fists, repressing the urge to crush them into your pretty face. You deserved it, and if only hitting you could appease him, you were ready to take the punch.
But he was still a man of principles, and disfiguring the wife of the most powerful sorcerer wasn’t one of them, even if he was closer to her than her own husband could ever be. Naoya admitted ,not without trouble, that he wasn’t an example. But he wasn’t that crazy; so he poured his rage on one of the beams that held up the edifice under which he’d dragged you, the impact resonated heavily in your ears.
“You lied to me-” he continued, and you knew that he was about to throw words even sharper than daggers at you.
“You deliberately made me believe that you had called off the marriage, and I even had a hunch that you weren’t capable of it. But I believed you, because I couldn’t imagine that the person that had put her life in the palm of hands so many times, would lie to me. Not to me, Tsukumo, not to me.”
He couldn’t accept the idea that you’d judge his help as being useless, him, Naoya Zenin had graciously offered his help to a lousy stranger, a good-for-nothing girl, without name or particular power. The mere fact of offering even his small finger when your life didn’t even concern him, was an enormous sprain to his pride, and the fact that you’re a woman only added fuel to an already raging inferno.
“I didn’t want to, I swear! I was overwhelmed by all the events, Naoya, you have to believe me!” You pleaded. “I never meant to hide it from you, I never wanted this to happen, I don’t love him. Lord, I don’t even know him!” You almost begged him to believe you, your voice trembling and words spewing out of your mouth uncontrollably, and the more you heard yourself talk, the more pathetic you felt. In all honesty, if you were him, no apology would be granted ; he’d only tried to lighten your burden and yet only gained lies and betrayal in return. What kind of friend were you?
“You’re a ticking bomb, you know that? A fucking bomb that threatens to explode at every second. Tic, tac, tic, tac, tic, tac-” He clicked his tongue, “-and then boom, there’ll be nothing left, neither anything of you nor of what surrounds you.”
A ticking bomb, that was exactly what you’d become. You’d spent one too many years piling things up. Years of constantly hiding in the shadow of your peers, years of constantly being forced to kowtow to the desires of others. Your sister had tried more than once to pull you out of your puppet syndrome, but it was worse than a vicious cycle. The more she repeated that you could live your life the way you wanted to, the deeper the ditch between you sunk, and the more you felt worthless, But there was still something she couldn’t do, protecting your parents by marrying Gojo Satoru. But until when? Until when would your body stay the course before tragically changing tack? Because, even though you didn’t know when, you knew that your fatum would catch up to you sooner or later.
And like the straw that breaks the camel’s back, Naoya’s hard and venomous look chipped bit of your facade by the second, the proud and composed woman that you served to people was starting to crumble under the heavy weight of reality, like a cracked urn would give in to the pressure of the liquid within. The one that had shared her days during way too many years was now drowning in her remorse, to the point of forgetting how to cry for help.
“There’s no use in crying,” he murmurs, framing your face between his thumb and forefinger. “Wipe your tears or people will talk, it’s not good for you.”
You softly sniffed, trying to compose yourself again as best as you could. Your eyes were reddened by tears that he ended up wiping off with the back of his phalanx. Not sure why, your hand wrapped his wrist, or at least what it could hold of it before burying your cheek into his palm, holding onto him like a lifeline, like the last thing that bound you to this world. When did Naoya become so important to you? Even he didn’t know, but he sure as heck planned to enjoy every last bit of it.
“I don’t blame you,” he says. “But I gotta admit that it profoundly hurt me; to know that you didn’t trust me.”
He was deliberately lying to you, the little chuckle that he failed to hide should have been hint enough, but you were too adrift for this, too shaken by the idea of having betrayed him, and having betrayed his trust; haunted by the thought of losing one of your closest friends. So you gobbled up all his says, like a poor thirty pup, without ever asking questions nor shifting your attention.
“I’m sorry.” You apologised once again, at loss for better words.
“Don’t worry about it, but you have to promise to never hide anything from me again. Think you can do that?” He asked.
You were confident enough to say that you were born with a gift, since an early age, your instincts had rarely failed you when it came to gauging others’ intentions: just one simple look and all their motives unfolded before you like an open book. And at this very moment, your sixth sense was screaming at you to refuse, to lay a pitiful excuse, not to make yet another promise of total honesty. Something’s wrong, something’s wrong, something’s wrong! Chants a voice in your head. But you were well too eaten with guilt. So without thinking much of it, you frantically nod your head, not wanting to let the smallest doubt glide over the sincerity of your intentions. You never meant to open your heart to him, at least not entirely, after all you knew better than anyone how twisted this man could be. But now that a sword of Damocles was hanging over your head, you’d rather offer him all the necessary cards to destroy you than doing it yourself. At least, it wouldn’t be your fault.
“Good,” he compliments while caressing your cheek. “Now you need to get back to your dear husband, you don’t want him thinking that you’re plotting things behind his back, right? I’m sure he’s the type to keep an eye open, who knows, he might sleep elsewhere,” he says more to himself than you. But those were just empty words, interlaced with sarcasm and hypocrisy, and without the slightest foundation.Naoya was absolutely not close to Gojo, but once you sow the grain of discord, it’s difficult to back-pedal. Whatever the case, you knew well how Gojo Satoru dealt with his enemies; and you’re well on your way to being part of the lot.
Later, when you shyly slipped your arm around Gojo, carefully rolling it around the hollow offered by his folded elbow, and despite the cordial smile that you’d exchanged, you could only wonder : was he really wary of you? What kind of relationship could be built on a basis devoid of trust? What kind of marriage would he cherish if he came in every evening expecting his wife to stab him in the back? All these thoughts only helped submerging you a little bit deeper into your perdition. All you could do now was hope for him to talk it out with you, giving you the chance to clear up any doubts soaring above his head. Should this not be the case, you were too ashamed to ever bring up the subject.
With a tad bit of perceptiveness, you might have noticed that behind his deceiving smile, your husband’s clever eyes had missed nothing of your little gateway, nothing of the fact that another man could touch you so when you wouldn’t even let him see your face. You were far from being lovebirds, but even to him who spat and stepped on everything that was to his sense archaic, couldn’t conceive that a marriage would hold out if loyalty was amiss. Would he ever come to love you? Probably never, having been a witness to it as he dug deeper into the pit separating you; that said, he’d sworn to offer you all the respect that you deserved; as a wife, a woman -for all that you must have done to survive within this macho and patriarchal society, but also and mostly as a sister. Yuki was a role model to him, an avant-gardist that had shown him that one could build their own reality in a dystopian world, and it was unconceivable for him to harm her. But could he really do it if the you threw yourself in the arms of another man on his wedding day? And not any man! He couldn’t even think about what tomorrow would have in store.
Naoya had just set foot into your marriage, and he’d sworn not to get out before having turned everything upside down. Because, even though your wedding ceremony hadn’t hurt his feelings anymore than that, you were an adult and you had the right to marry whoever you wanted -at least he tried to convince himself of this. He couldn’t say the same for his ego though, which had been greatly undermined by your little secrets. And he was sure to make you pay for it.
Even if the choice was, by definition, the absence of freedom, it didn’t make things any less fatalistic. And it wasn’t a rare sight to see people howling at liberticide basking in the consequences of their choices. But you didn’t have the luxury of being of this, you had made a chain with every link being a little lie that you’d chosen to mouth, and without noticing, you had chained yourself with it. Prisoner of your making.
You lifted your eyes one last time towards your husband, who was looking back at you with a worried face; he’d surely noticed from the robotic responses you’d given him ever since coming back that you were pondering something. Gojo takes a deep inhale before swallowing back his ego and breaking the ice that had reformed way too quickly, despite his best effort.
“Do you want to tell me something?” He didn’t want it to sound like he were asking for a confession, but his subconscious seemed to have overruled his tongue.
« I’ll never hurt you, all that I ask of you is to trust me » his comforting words played back inside your head, and you wanted to do it, to tell him what bothered you so. He’d taken a step towards you, so why not do the same? It was too early to be entirely transparent, but he deserved a little confession.
Maybe you’d just taken the best decision for the first time in a while by whispering a weak consent, letting him glimpse the expanse of your distress.
↳ Choices we’re bound to make in life don’t always turn out well, and you would have to learn that the hard way, maybe should you have listened to your sister when she tried to dissuade you from marrying a man that you didn’t know, as charming as he might seem.
You were never much of a sleeper. In all honesty, you usually slept for about four to five hours per night at best. Your mother often teased you by saying it was because of you and all the lights you turned on on your way, that all the nightingales would start singing in the morning. Maybe it was because you always considered the unconscious state of sleep as a way to turn your back to reality, bypassing daily rationalism in favor of a utopian loophole. A world where all that was needed was to want something strongly enough for it to materialize, a world where we’d see our worst torments disappear, a world where fear, hate and disarray would be blown away by the sole strength of willpower. A world where we had control over our choices. Which, let’s be honest, wasn’t really your case.
So for the first time since ages, you gave yourself the right to sleep a little bit longer than usual, your body finally giving out under the weight of a night’s worth of tears and incessant questionings. Your body had probably understood that your subconscious was, now, the only place where your mind could rest, the only place where a modicum of safety was left.
You dreamt of all sorts of things, things that you’ll probably never get to taste again. Kyoto, its streets and its odors. You dreamt of long walks that you made sporadically with your father, whenever the weather would allow it. You dreamt of cherry trees which you admired every year, in front of which your inner child came out every time. You couldn’t help yourself from taking a picture beside them, your mother would always point out how the shades of the roses perfectly matched with your carnation. You also dreamt of numerous matcha desserts that you’d buy on your way home, and sometimes tried to hide away…You didn’t know it at the time, but your mother always noticed the little green powder around your lips, but only teased your father until he felt the unbearable desire to go and buy some, so to make the whole family enjoy it. You dreamt of your school as well, of certain good memories, you dreamt of the school exchange, those times when you went to Tokyo as part of the association. You replayed the trips, the long discussions with Naoya, as rare and precious as they were to your eyes. You learnt to put up with his nasty misogynistic and egocentric temper; you even reached the point where you wondered how you could even survive without being reminded that you belong in a beautiful and well furnished kitchen. And then, you saw your hangman again, gaze hidden by a pair of black lenses.
↳ Choices we’re bound to make in life don’t always turn out well, and you would have to learn that the hard way, maybe should you have listened to your sister when she tried to dissuade you from marrying a man that you didn’t know, as charming as he might seem.
You were never much of a sleeper. In all honesty, you usually slept for about four to five hours per night at best. Your mother often teased you by saying it was because of you and all the lights you turned on on your way, that all the nightingales would start singing in the morning. Maybe it was because you always considered the unconscious state of sleep as a way to turn your back to reality, bypassing daily rationalism in favor of a utopian loophole. A world where all that was needed was to want something strongly enough for it to materialize, a world where we’d see our worst torments disappear, a world where fear, hate and disarray would be blown away by the sole strength of willpower. A world where we had control over our choices. Which, let’s be honest, wasn’t really your case.
So for the first time since ages, you gave yourself the right to sleep a little bit longer than usual, your body finally giving out under the weight of a night’s worth of tears and incessant questionings. Your body had probably understood that your subconscious was, now, the only place where your mind could rest, the only place where a modicum of safety was left.
You dreamt of all sorts of things, things that you’ll probably never get to taste again. Kyoto, its streets and its odors. You dreamt of long walks that you made sporadically with your father, whenever the weather would allow it. You dreamt of cherry trees which you admired every year, in front of which your inner child came out every time. You couldn’t help yourself from taking a picture beside them, your mother would always point out how the shades of the roses perfectly matched with your carnation. You also dreamt of numerous matcha desserts that you’d buy on your way home, and sometimes tried to hide away…You didn’t know it at the time, but your mother always noticed the little green powder around your lips, but only teased your father until he felt the unbearable desire to go and buy some, so to make the whole family enjoy it. You dreamt of your school as well, of certain good memories, you dreamt of the school exchange, those times when you went to Tokyo as part of the association. You replayed the trips, the long discussions with Naoya, as rare and precious as they were to your eyes. You learnt to put up with his nasty misogynistic and egocentric temper; you even reached the point where you wondered how you could even survive without being reminded that you belong in a beautiful and well furnished kitchen. And then, you saw your hangman again, gaze hidden by a pair of black lenses.
Now that you thought of it, you were never able to see that famous six eyes. Even so, you’d have all your life to carve it in your memory, hoping that your soul would come out of it unscathed. You suddenly saw him get closer to you until his hand landed on your shoulder, a move that pulled you out of your inertia in one jump. You looked around you, the clock on the table showed an unholy afternoon hour. You sighed while loosening your shoulders, letting go of some stress that had accumulated within you. You softly ran your hands over your face, covering your eyes as best as you could from the sun rays that entered through your blinds. You had absolutely no desire of moving out of bed, but so many things awaited you, after all, life goes on.
You swept a brief look over your phone, a consequent number of phone calls from unknown numbers caught your attention, however you didn’t give it much thought since you never answered numbers you didn’t recognize. Also, if it were really that urgent, they’d just send you a message. Which wasn’t the case, so there was no need to rack your brain more than that. You put a leg, soon followed by its homologue, on the cold floor of your room. Your eyes, still half asleep, didn’t seem to perceive much of the surroundings anymore. The colors, until now warm, of your walls seemed a bit somber and cold, and the sky crumbs that peeked through the cracks of your shutters, were grey as though emptied of the life that always animated them. What did you look like? Nothing decent anymore, whispers a voice. And just a quick glance in the mirror was enough to confirm it. Your hair, usually disciplined and well combed, was all over the place, and your eyes bore a palette of reds that you couldn’t even imagine. You part your lips, slightly opening your eyes with a stupefied look in front of such a scene. You softly put two fingers on your cheek, doubtfully reducing the distance between your face and its reflection, as though to leave one last chance for it to change and tell you that this old rag that currently met your face wasn’t really you. But nothing happened. As hard as it was to believe, you looked like a pale old rag, and there was no way you’d show yourself like this to your parents that were probably thinking that the love of your life had just proposed to you. And your head was far from looking like that of someone who was in love, from near or from afar. You grasp your courage into hands and draw your way toward the bathroom as fast as possible, to minimize your chances of meeting anyone. You needed a good hot shower, or rather a cold one, just to settle your ideas back into place and wake your numb body. You snuck into the room, eyes fixed on the hallway to make sure that no one was hiding in any blind spot of the building. Once safe and no one in sight, you closed the door to smack your forehead three times against the varnished wood. You sighed, mumbling a weakly“what the hell am I gonna do… “
“Turning down the wedding sounds like a good option to me”
Your sister’s voice makes you jump and a small cry escapes from your lips against your will. You turn toward her before taking off the mule you were wearing on your feet and throwing it in her direction. She dodges with ease, the shoe landing against the wall in a muffled sound. You freeze once you see the contrast, a beautiful hole decorated with cracks was now throning at the impact’s spot; you were an exorcist, thus possessing considerable physical strength which you, sometimes, had a hard time controlling, resulting, sometimes, in such damages.
“We’ll turn a blind eye on the discretion, there’s the parents’ room behind the wall that you almost took down. And good luck explaining this…”
A vague sense of despair mixed with shame ran through your body, suddenly wanting to take a shovel and dig a hole where you’d bury yourself and never come out again. Your hand unconsciously and loudly ended up slapping your forehead before you let yourself ease up, leaning, or rather slumping against the door behind you. Your sister scrutinized your reaction with a worried look, wondering what demon took possession of the body of her younger sister, usually so composed. She gently moved toward you, avoiding any sudden movement, before putting both of her hands on your cheeks, locking her emerald irises within yours.
“You have the right to refuse, no one will judge you” she continued with a gentleness that you didn’t know.
“I know that…”
Some honesty wouldn’t hurt you. Your sister may be the person that knew the most about the story, but it wasn’t any less complicated for you to open up to her on what you were feeling. You always built some kind of construct, some type of fortress around yourself; filtering what you wanted to reveal to others from what you kept in your secret garden. You didn’t hide laughter, you didn’t hide tender memories and wisecracks; but you concealed your weaknesses and demons, everything that could wipe the beautiful smile from your face. But sometimes, it could feel good to confide in someone.
“You saw them yesterday,”you say. “They lookes so happy…It can’t be that terrible, I know many people who got married like this.”
“Lying is a sin, you know that, right ?”
“Yuki…you’re making this harder, really. I’m trying to see the good side of things, I’m trying to imagine everything that could go well. Maybe he isn’t so bad…”
“I’m hearing a “but”.”
“But all I’m able to feel is hatred and bitterness. How can they do this? How can this moron choose in my stead? But of course he’s the strongest! An exorcist from the special rank! How to refuse? They give him everything, even the woman that never asked for anything!”
With this confidence, you let yourself fall to the floor. Your legs came to your chest, you hid your face at the bottom of your arms, sheltering yourself as best as you could. You felt as though you were being quartered, on one side pulled the weight of your responsibilities toward your family, the weight imposed by your parents without them being aware of it. On the other side, your pride, your regrets, your desires, your hopes…simply you. How do you choose, how could a person as altruistic as you ever choose between the people you cherished the most and yourself?
Your sister didn’t immediately respond, submerged in her cogitatum. She threw one last little glance at the damage inflicted on the wall before crouching on your right, double blocking the door to anyone who’d want to enter.
“Listen, I don’t know if it’s very seemly to tell you this, but I don’t think that Gojo is to blame in this story.”
You dryly lift your head so that she can see your incredulous look, mixed with exasperation. You prepared yourself to retort and tell her that in any case and whatever were the circumstances, he had given his consent without consulting you, when he visibly knew your sister. Even if he weren’t the instigator, he was at least an accomplice, creating within you the incapacity to exonerate him from his part of responsibility in your misery. But your sister lifted a finger in the air, cutting your intentions short.
“Let me finish first. I think that he’s not even aware, this must be a strategy orchestrated by his family and the counsel. That’s what I think, the Gojo clan would assure a lineage, and the counsel would win one more way to keep him on leash. With a family under his wings, he’d think twice before turning his back on the world. Like I told you before, it’s not like him to get himself into relationships where he needs to commit. He’s a child, like you; he’s what? One year older than you? That’s nonsense. What I suggest to you, is to talk to him-”
“I already said no.”
The blonde lets out a loud exhale, clearly annoyed by your stubbornness and lack of cooperation. She had no difficulty in understanding how hurt you were, seeing your life slipping between your fingers like that, but she, unlike you, still thought with her head. And as much as you refuse to admit it, your feelings were taking over, and all your decisions, all the choices you were about to make at this moment could be tarnished if you didn’t take a step back. And she’d be here to make sure that you don’t make any mistakes, even if it means hurting your sensibility and shoving you when necessary. Yuki raised her hand just to knock it down on the back of your head, a sign that you’d better shut up till she lets you talk. She fumbled in her pocket before pulling out a phone then typed a few moments on it before placing it at your feet. A simple glance made you understand what she was doing; in fact, the screen showed a name that you came to hate: Gojo Satoru. A simple choice was offered to you: calling and confronting someone whose actions you didn’t know, and toward which you harbored a growing disdain. Or simply refuse, and accept your fate.
You stared at the board in front of your before stretching your arm toward the object, bringing it to yourself. You looked closer to the picture adjoined to the contact. it was undeniably true that he was a handsome man, almost making you soften before your eyes looked back up at your sister, slowly shaking your head in resignation, giving her back her phone.
“I’m sorry…I can’t do it.”
“Why?”She asked.
“Because.”
“That’s not an answer.”
-I don’t have an answer to give, Yuki. I can’t talk to him, I can’t even place a word with him! All I want is to spit on his face and tell him how much I hate him, how much he’s ruining my life. Is that what you want?
“You refuse to talk to him yet you accept marrying him?”
That sounded crazy, completely insane, said like that. If you weren’t able to even say hello, how were you going to live through the fact that you’d have to wake up every morning in front of the same face, and say good morning to him; cook, sleep with him and even more- The idea alone made your stomach churn. Alright, you didn’t imagine your self recreating the sexual intercourse of a nun, but you’d hoped to at least have control over who would be the first person to touch you. Before you could ever realize it, your body, of its own accord, led you toward the toilet seat, head tilted down, you felt your stomach’s content- liquids pouring from your mouth. Your sister rushed toward you to hold you up, one hand on your back the other pulling as much hair away from your face as she could; she murmured softly that everything would be alright, and that you had o trust her. You grasped her hand tightly before a second wave of nausea took over your body again, bending you even more over the bowl. She felt guilty, thinking that if she hadn’t had this discussion with you, maybe then you wouldn’t be arched and vomiting your guts out. A kiss came down over your left temple, then you were swallowed in a well deserved hug.
“Take a shower, but don’t hurt yourself, ok? I’ll see what I can do.”
“Don’t do anything, please…”
Your iris fixed on a random spot while you tried to forget the image that had brought such a violet reaction out of you. Yuki didn’t reply, and just caressed your forearms in a comforting manner, almost motherly. You thought again about what those old fossils had ostracized her, making you force out a laugh. You slowly squeezed her hand, signing to her that you felt better. Once up and about again, she went toward the door which she opened with the least possible noise possible. But before she left, she threw one last glance in your direction. A look which meant that she was watching you closely, and that if you lost control, she’d be there to catch you. Whatever the consequences of her actions, whatever your reaction.
After a good and abnormally long bath, you wrapped your small body in a big pink towel, a color that you’ve always appreciated. You decided to look one more time in the mirror, taking an inhale meant to fill you up with courage, as much air as your lungs could withstand.
“You can do it, you just have to smile.”
You monologue this way for a long minute to convince yourself that you could do it. You could overcome this. This marriage was your grave but the salvation of your family, a necessary evil, and evil you had to accept. An evil you’d learn to want. With your two indexes, you pull at your lips, sketching a smile that you’d now have to keep, today, tomorrow, and for the eternity that you’d spend with your future husband.
Once dressed and with a touch of make up on, you went to your parents, preferring to maximize the chances you had of hiding your unease. You were welcomed by an embrace that could severe one’s breath away, as though your mother hadn’t seen you in years. You return the gesture before greeting your father. They were all siting at the table for lunch, reminding you of how late you woke up.
“We were waiting for you,” whispers your mother with a sweet voice. “I made your favorite dish!”
You were just about to refuse when your sister pulled the chair on which you usually sat, and you didn’t want to know what would happen if you disobeyed.
The meal made you feel better, your stomach was growling since earlier. However, there lingered a certain melancholy within your eyes, telling you that this meal was probably the last one that you’d share with them; since Gojo lived in Tokyo, he’d certainly make you follow him there. As per usual, after each meal, you’d clean up the table with your sister before washing the dishes.
“A real little housekeeper,” your sister murmurs to you, kissing your cheek a few dozen times. “I’m going to take a walk, do you want me to bring you anything? Matcha mochis?”
Your eyes were round and the little cute face you were showing when you heard the name of your favorite dessert were enough of a response to her. She sunk one of her hands in her pockets before clasping her keys in the other one, she took this chance to make a sign of her hand to your parents before taking her leave. You were once again left alone with your own thoughts, you wondered what it would be like to live within one of the three big exorcist families. You’d have gladly asked your mother, adviser and confidante, but she and your dad were simple people, born by chance, with powers they’d rather not have. They even had jobs that had absolutely nothing to do with their world, you even suspected that they chose their career to stay away from their origins. However, there was one person that could give you information. What you were about to hear would certainly not please you, but it was better than rushing headlong into the unknown.
Once your hands were dried with a towel, you took out your phone, noticing that you had more missed calls from numbers you hadn’t saved, then dialed the one of your four years’ long partner.
“I hope that you have a good reason to bother me.” answers an ever so unpleasant voice.
“Hello Naoya, I’m good and you? Oh you know, nothing much, I’m getting married.”
-You’re what? You? Who’s the idiot that would want you?
“Listen, it’s not a conversation to have over the phone. I need your help, can I pass by?
“I’m waiting for you.”
With this, he hangs up without asking more. You were slowly massaging your temples whilst confronting such a temper, suddenly regretting putting him on the know. You say goodbye to your parents after telling them where you were going. You weren’t going to reveal the identity of the “moron” in question, nor sharing what was haunting you. Behind his eccentricity, Naoya remained a very simple individual to read. He, like anyone else, had figures that he admired. And this link of admiration, in his case, was directly ruled by a certain superiority. They simply had bigger powers than his’, and yours by the way. During a moment of weakness, he had confessed to you that Gojo was one of them, making you grasp the amplitude of the rumors about him. And if he were to find out that you had to marry him…You weren’t sure what he’d do, but you certainly didn’t want to witness it.
The ride toward the Zenin residence went without a hitch, if not for your brain spinning continuously, making a list of everything you shouldn’t spill at the risk of compromising the anonymity of your future husband. Some servants were kind enough to show you where your partner awaited for you, head sitting on his elbow with an expression from which dripped the weariness painted on his face.
“So? Is it true?”
“Uh…Yeah, Sad-”
“Sadly? On the contrary, I think it’s a good thing. A woman is made to found a home, and always obey her husband. I hope you won’t have a hard time regaining your pretty little waistline after your firstborn.”
So that was what probably awaited you. Becoming a housewife and answering to every whim of your husband, making him as many kids as he wanted. Just thinking about made you feel a vague nausea rising up again.
“And you think that everyone in the three clans has the same visions as you?”
“Let’s see…It’s either a Gojo, or a Kamo. He deduces with a mocking smile pulling at his lips. If it were a Zenin, I would have heard about it.”
“You haven’t answered my question.”
“My god…What a naughty impatience! Well then no, each one their own opinion of things. Even if you’d have less chances of stumbling across a “cool” guy if you went to the Kamos. Is it a Gojo?”
“Naoya,”you mark a short pause, clearly caught off guard by his deduction. “I’ll tell you when the time comes, for now, it’s…”You search for your words, fearing to let your emotions take control over you. “I still haven’t met him, that’s why I’m asking about how they are.”
He scrutinized you, his mouth thinning into a horizontal line, as though absorbed in his own thoughts. He pointed to a seat next to him with his chin, telling you to take place. Which you did once you took off your shoes. You sat as politely as possible, trying not to infringe the rules which you’ll probably be bound to follow by word. A maid brings in tea and sweets covered in matcha.
“I didn’t think you’d accept a…proposition like this. They put pressure on you, didn’t they?”
His question catches you unawares, it was true that every single time that he mentioned the subject of marriage and tradition, in the most satyric way possible, you’d reply that not everyone was meant for you, so it was easy to understand why such news would raise suspicions in him about the reason why you were forced to make this choice.
“Oh no…Not at all. It’s just that it’s better to be under the protection of someone this important, especially with a sister like mine…”
Speaking of the devil, you had just mentioned her that your phone buzzed, you received a simple “come back, we need you”. You let out a breath, locking your screen before throwing a guilty smile toward your interlocutor. However, with his index, Naoya pushes the plate of sweets toward you; another way to say that you weren’t going anywhere before gobbling up at least one candy. To be fairly honest, you were dying to do so! You reached out your little fingers toward the green squares, wrapped in tea powder. And before you could even quench your gustative desire, Naoya’s big hand closed around your wrist, monopolizing your whole attention. He draws his face close to yours, your bodies still separated by the table, before burying his gaze within yours, his eyes bearing an unusual solemnity.
“One word and I’ll have it cancelled.”
Your expression spontaneously tensed, eyebrows frowned and smile fading away. If there was anything you didn’t expect coming here, it was that Naoya, the traditionalist and fervent abolisher of women’s rights, would offer help in canceling a marriage. You couldn’t understand; and like each time when the why escaped you, you’d dig your heels in, imagining all the most perfidious motives. You tried to pull out of his grasp but in vain, he was a man after all. A man way too strong, who had the physical capacity to dominate you; what was the point of struggling?
“Thank you but I don’t need your help, I’m perfectly consenting. Now if you’d please let go, they’re waiting for me back home.”
The blondie tightened his grip on your wrist by way of warning; now that you had two people who were ready to ruin everything that you struggled to put in place. Part of you respected and admired these gestures. He and your sister were ready to intervene when they had nothing to gain -quite the opposite- only for your own good. But your choice was made. There was no going back, and you wished that they’d respect your decisions. It was hard enough already, you didn’t need someone trying to dissuade you at every turn.
You pulled one last time at your wrist which he finally released before pointing, one more time, to the plate. You yielded to temptation, before getting up under his wary gaze. He made you feel somewhat uneasy, like his eyes were piercing through your soul, reading you like an open book. His gaze drifted toward the gardens surrounding the building, before crossing his legs one over the other and linking the fingers of both hands. It was the « ultimatum » pose, and it bode nothing well.
“You have one week to tell me, or else I’ll provoke a scandal with the Gojo clan. We already don’t get along well, so I don’t think there’s anything to lose, at least not for me.”
These words alone were enough to instantly make you regret coming here, what the heck had gone into you? Since when did the oh so mighty Naoya Zenin ever become comprehensive? Never.
“It’s true, the only person that has anything to lose is me. Neither you nor him! I need this alliance, everyone isn’t born with a silver spoon in their mouth! The day when it will be decided that my sister is a-”
“If you needed protection, you could have told me directly” he cuts you off. “I don’t get why you’d rather beg for the help of a stranger. Well, I don’t really believe it.”
He lowers the palm of his hand on the table before getting up and walking in your direction, his imposing figure overshadowed yours while he look down on you, his gaze becoming heavier. Your feet moved by their own accord, backing away a bit.
You were about to try convincing him not to intervene; maybe even telling him the whole truth if coaxing him wouldn’t work; but your phone chose otherwise: another message from your sister ordering you to come back home. Your partner smiled at you while closing his eyes, before guiding you toward the exit, a hand on your back. You’d need a lot of courage and patience to clear up this situation. But for now, your sister’s insistence for your to return home was bothering you more than anything else, maybe something happened? Naoya could easily notice your worry and even though he didn’t say anything, he still ordered a driver to drop you at your door. Just when he was about to close the car’s door, he looked at you one more time in the eyes.
“One week.”
You sighed before nodding back, your surrender gave birth to little rictus on his face. He then signed to the driver that everything was good. You leaned your head against the windowpane at your right, staring at the moving landscape. What were you going to say and what were you going to not say? You had just discovered one facade that you’d never known of Naoya, and you weren’t sure where to stand. Maybe he was worried, if that was the case, you could be sure that he’d stir up the sky and earth to cancel the wedding, and that without you even being aware of it. Or maybe he just didn’t like the fact that the person whom he was closest to for the last four year could plan such important things without even consulting him beforehand. And he was twisted enough to be convinced that you must listen to him, drink and carry, to the letter, everything that he « strongly advised you » to do. You could only cross your fingers and hope that the second eventuality was false, otherwise the wheels were already in motion, and he’d do anything in his power to ruin this alliance, wether it was good or bad for you. All of a sudden, talking to him about it didn’t seem like a good idea at all; you already regretted it bitterly.
You thanked the adorable driver who had pulled you out of your hare-brained ideas by slipping historical anecdotes about some streets which you’d passed by, always keeping a wide smile over his face, which affected your mood and released your worries about what would happen to you. God, how you appreciated this type of people. You hurriedly inserted the keys in the door’s lock, almost tripping over yourself once inside. You called your mother then your father with a loud voice, almost screaming before rushing into the kitchen, still with your shoes on.
“My girl…What’s the matter? Did your friend do something to you?” Your mother asked with her sweet yet preoccupied voice.
She was behind the stove, a small squared apron tied around her waist. Everything seemed normal, why did Yuki urge you to come back? You still wore a confused face when your father walked in, breathless. He was probably sleeping when he heard the cries as you came back. You gently put your hand over your heart, before throwing yourself at your mother, tears in your eyes.
“Oh no, is it your boyfriend?”
You shook your head, but refused to pull away from her. Soon, you could feel a pair of arms around you followed by a crystalline laughter from your mother. A threesome hug, that was exactly what you needed. But the joy was short-lived, interrupted by the sharp ring of the bell, You asked your mother if she was expecting guests which she denied, adding that she didn’t even know who it could be; Yuki had already taken her keys.So you went and opened the door. Maybe you didn’t know who to expect but you also didn’t know who to not expect. You saw two people that you never met before. A woman and a man, most probably a couple, around the same age as your parents. They had white-grayish hair and light colored eyes. No word could come out of your mouth, captivated by the rare beauty and also captivated by the beauty of their clothes: kimonos, probably made of silk, that you’d never seen before in your life. You were dragged out of your thoughts by the woman who cleared her throat, before handing you a bouquet of white roses, a weak smile on her face.
“We…We are Gojo Satoru’s parents.”
Oh, so that was them. You stepped away and let them come in, showing them where the living room was. Which was useless since they had already visited the day before this, with a bouquet in hand; well, at least they changed the flowers. Lovely, you tell yourself, joining them while you were torn between to run away and kicking them out. And evidently, your parents were of the same opinion as you, given their expression. Your mother was no longer at ease, you even start wondering wether your mother-in-law’s smile didn’t hide bad news -or rather good-. You didn’t sit right away with them, instead offering a cup of tea which you got yourself ready to prepare before the cold authoritative stopped you.
“It won’t be necessary, my child. Please sit down.”
You did as you were told, the man’s tone having drained any desire to insist, even out of politeness. So you sit between your parents, an overjoyed expression glued over your face. You wondered how such a beautiful and sweet woman could spill so many lies during your absence.
“I don’t know from where to start…”She gently grabs onto the cloth covering her legs between her fists, clearly embarrassed. “My, I mean our son doesn’t emit any doubts toward the desire to make you his wife. However, we had a slight misunderstanding over the wedding date.”
“Misunderstanding?” All three of you asked at the same time.
“You see”…She continues.
In front of his wife’s inability to align three words next to each other, the husband decides to take the reins.
“Satoru decided to finish his studies before officially marrying you, I hope that it doesn’t inconvenience you.”
The four present heads watched you while waiting for a response. You couldn’t believe your ears, this was unreal! This didn’t fix the problem on a long term but you had just won five long years during which you’d have all the time in the world to get used to it. Maybe you could even make this marriage work; even crazier, maybe you could even talk to Gojo!
“What good news this is!”
The look on that your parents just gave you said a lot about the total confusion over the situation. To them, this morning only, you were delighted to marry this young man, and here you were right now, happy to see him postponing it by half a decade. Something was clearly wrong. The more minutes passed, the more you realized that both mother seemed t relax. Even though both worlds couldn’t grew any more apart, but they were both tied by something extremely strong. Both of them were ready to give anything for their children’s love. You stood there, like a spectator, listening to your future mother-in-law talking of her son’s achievements, talking about how smart, funny, cultivated and strong he was. And even if he was an independent person, she couldn’t help wanting the best for him. In a sense, it was kind of flattering. People that you knew nothing about, considered you as the most ultra dude in matters of marriage. Somewhat degrading, said like this, but still flattering. Then came the moment when they had to go, you walk them to the door, alone, as ordered by the madam. Just as you were about to close the door behind them, a delicate hand landed on your cheek. Its owner set her eyes on yours, a gaze filled with tenderness, love and…melancholy.
“I’m sorry to have inflicted such a thing on you… She draws closer to you before taking your arm, so that no one can hear. You have five years before you to refuse; in the opposite case, I offer you this.”
She puts a little box covered in blue velour in your hand, it was probably a jewel: a ring. You couldn’t understand at all, this woman was on your side? She seemed to know the pain of seeing her destiny forced, at least now you knew that there’d always be someone to support you there. On this, she walks away with her husband; a car awaited them next to your house. You give her one last sign of your hand, mouthing a little « thank you » before coming back inside.
“What a day…Where’s Yuki by the way?”
“I’m here to see Gojo, not you.”
“He’s not here, you can go. Answers dryly the director of the Kyoto establishment.”
Yuki rolled her eyes, exasperated. She almost forgot why she didn’t want anything to do with these people.
She had responsibilities toward her family, and as much as she could avoid them, there were moments where she could simply not stand by. She knew that Gojo liked her enough, they had something in common; that rebellious and reformative spirit , he too fought against the stupid traditions that a bunch of rotting mummies tried so hard to maintain in order to shut down a generation that was more and more conscious. So it was impossible that this decision came from him; and if it was the case, a good old fist would be enough to fix his thoughts back into place.
“Can you explain to me how he’s not here when I can clearly see his head over the window?”
She abruptly stands up from the couch on which she was sitting to land a bunch of hits on the glass, so that she can catch the attention of the concerned who chose to deliberately ignore her. Ok, that, she wouldn’t let it slide!
The blonde suddenly opens the windowpane before jumping out of it, good thing it was on the ground floor, before chasing after the exorcist.
“Hey there, easy now! You think you can hook up with my sister like that? Come back here, Gojo!”
He suddenly turns around toward her before pushing up his glasses, placing them over his head. She rarely saw his face this calm. He had dark circles under his eyes, it must have been a few nights since he last slept, and his smile, although emblematic, had disappeared.
“Excuse me,Ithink I can hook up with your sister? Are you sure it’s not the opposite? I was told that miss was more than overjoyed at the idea, so much so that it’s said you’re the one who came with it.”
“Sorry to break it to you like this but I had nothing to do with this, and she even less so. This whole thing is driving her crazy, they blackmailed her, you too I presume, given your face. How long has it been since you last slept? One? Two? Three days maybe?”
“Yuki…They’re forcing me to marry, me? I could never keep a girlfriend for one week, what do you want me to do with a…a wife! You can’t imagine my parents’ face, that’s all they’ve been waiting for, that reminds me, they’re on their way to spoil you with flowers and fine words.” He admits.
She was right from the beginning, Gojo, the son, wasn’t involved in this story at all. On the other hand, everyone would benefit in this story, except the two main actors. He was far from being reckless, and all that he did was in the interest of those he protected: his friends. With a wife, a woman that he’d see every day, every evening and with whom he’d probably have a kid; he’d almost be forced to develop feelings for her, be it love or simply a systematic need to protect his little family. Which would make him think twice before going against a decision coming from the top.
“I thought I’d noticed, they made a good impression at home. it’s said like you two make form the perfect couple.”
He lifted his eyes to the sky, clearly annoyed. However, it might have been just an impression, but these revelations that your sister made to him, seemed to calm him down a bit. He must have thought that Yuki betrayed him, while he fully trusted her.
“She doesn’t even answer my calls.”
“You don’t say! Listen, I’m going to be honest with you, she doesn’t want this either. Want to know why she accepted? She’s worried about our parents, I’m not the most appreciated person here, I think you know that already, and one of the reasons why I’m perpetually moving around is…I’m worried for them too. She didn’t say it clearly but-“
“They must have promised her that under the Gojo name, your family would be saved, right?”
“Bingo, young man. She could be your best ally, she thinks like me. Think wisely, this alliance is practically unavoidable; why not do things the right way?”
“Because I’m barely twenty!”
“And she’s barely nineteen, that’s not the prob-…Never mind, it is. Can you stall for time? That’s what both of you need.”
“And you want me to push this until when?” He asks, rather curious.
“Until you both find a solution in order not to kill each other from the first evening, ok? Listen, not that I don’t appreciate the company but I gotta go. I’m counting on you, just like you can count on me. I want to help you, don’t forget we’re talking about my sister here, and if something were to ever happen to her because of you…You know the rest!”
The blonde shakes her phone in his direction, telling him to call her in the evening for more details. She unlocks it then sends a simple text: « Come back, we need you. »
↳ Choices we’re bound to make in life don’t always turn out well, and you would have to learn that the hard way, maybe should you have listened to your sister when she tried to dissuade you from marrying a man that you didn’t know, as charming as he might seem.
“So you’re telling me that if, hypothetically, I accept marrying the infamous Gojo Satoru, my sister won’t have any more problems?”
It took you a moment to wrap your mind around what they just told you. From the top of your 19 years, you weren’t really conscious of the harsh truths surrounding you. You always thought that an exorcist’s holy grail was to be promoted to the special grade. What a surprise it was when you understood that it was but a means to keep in leash those considered too dangerous for the world.
Truth be told, from all that you’ve just been told, it was this one piece of news that hauled the biggest reaction out of you. Them, the upper class of crimes from the top of their seats, couldn’t see things from your point of view. Yuki was your big sister, your model, your family, your blood. How could they paint her into a person to be wary of, she who taught you everything, who made you the exorcist that you are today.
“Well…Tsukumo Yuki is a head to shoot down, you should be aware of that”says a voice that’s hard for you to identify. “It would be better for you and your family to be protected by the name of the most powerful exorcist, don’t you think?”
Thinking correctly was an arduous task for you, the placid flow that was your daily life would never be the same again starting today. Because even if the elders, like you liked calling them, feigned kindness, pretending that they only wanted the best for you; you could easily perceive a menacing aura hovering over your head.
You raised your head toward your interlocutors: the counsel. Their faces were hidden under some kind of curtain, cutting short any tentative to read their expressions and decipher their true intentions. Spinning from left to right, looking up and down at the white fabric, you try putting on a serene air before inhaling deeply.
“You’re telling me that my sister is a danger, but you want me to marry a man that’s even more dangerous than her? You want me to throw myself in the arms of a man that’s considered a weapon of mass destruction…I don’t believe a single word of”- you were cut short by an outcry of offended voices that you refuse to bend like a tree against the wind to their inquisitions.
“You would be perfect for him with this attitude of yours.”
“We were just discussing your eventual promotion to the special grade” continues another, hiding a threat.
If even an ounce of doubt was still lingering within you, then it has surely dissipated now. The choice offered to you was clear: accept and give up your freedom to the goodness of a perfect stranger. Or refuse and put into peril that which you cherished the most.
Youu are a smart girl, often solicited for your capacity to react swiftly, considering in no time everything that could and could not turn badly, making you a more than precious ally on the field. But in this moment right here, the cogs of your mind started to rust, unable to put one idea before another, plunging you in a frightening lethargy. You needed time to understand, and you could feel that you were short of it. You were being manipulated, for god knows what reason, and it seemed like you had nothing else to say back.
“Well then, you reply. I’ll inform you of my decision as soon as possible.”
“Tomorrow.”cuts off a crackling feminine voice, hinting at the age of its owner.
You shake your head slowly from left to right, hoping that it would, maybe, pull you out of this phantasmagory of which you’re the actress. You felt your fists tighten, canalizing your emotions in a way that would prevent you from spilling words that would cost you more than you could afford to lose. You slowly turn your heels, without answering, without a last glance and before you could even realize it, your legs were leading you far from this place, leaving behind a pack of hounds debating on wether you would accept or not. Your fate was sealed, the film of your nightmare starting to smoothly untangle in front of your eyes.
Once outside, you turn around toward the building that sheltered the counsel. From here, it looked like a little hut in the middle of a forest, protected -or rather camouflaged by a barrier set by master Tengen. You slowly lean against one of the surrounding trees, letting your head fall against the trunk and granting your eyes some rest. What were you going to do? Your parents weren’t young anymore, you were the only one left in the household. Everything always depended on you, on your missions, on your presence; your house was pulled out of the gloominess that was the daily life of exorcists, thanks to your jokes, your goofiness, your clumsiness, your anectodes. You didn’t come back home grumbling anymore -because a certain Zenin would forget too often that you weren’t his maid, you didn’t come back home from your outings with Utahime. Now that you thought about it, wasn’t it actually him that made her grumble?
A little smile pulled at the corner of your lips, you knew that Gojo had a reputation as an inveterate seducer, and for having seen him before, you could easily understand why. How many women would be ready to sell their souls to the devil to be in your place? You knew it, you knew damn well, and yet a little pinch at your heart prevented you from seeing even an infinitesimal gleam within what was just announced to you.
You were pulled out of your reflections by stepping noises in the grass, getting closer and closer to you. You slowly turn your head in the direction of the sound to see a slender silhouette, blond, a helmet under their arm.
“So, what kind of mission did they try to slap on you? Saving the world from an extraterrestrial creature? Bringing back a piece of the moon? Or maybe…put off a fire on Mars! More seriously, these people here can be total nuts sometimes!”
“I’m going to get married.”
Yuki froze for a few seconds, seconds that felt like hours to you, before going into a hysterical laughter, not imagining for one second that what you just said could contain even an ounce of truth. But her laugh soon let place to worry when she saw your expression flinching, crying at her that it was absolutely not a joke.
“Oh no…They wouldn’t dare. She said. And with who? The pope’s son?”
“Gojo Satoru.”
“Gojo Satoru?”
“Gojo Satoru.”
“I heard you the first time, you know. But…how? Why him? If he wanted to marry you he would simple have told me instead of going through a bunch of old decrepit. Also, last time I checked, he didn’t really like them. And since when do you two know each other?”
The look you just threw at your sister answered her questions quick enough. You didn’t personally know him, and you knew absolutely nothing of the circumstances that led to this decision. The only thing that you could be sure of was that one way or another, people, whoever they were, had something to gain from you being married, or that Gojo was. You never represented any danger to anyone, you were subordinate, you never disputed orders and you were useful in what you did, there was no apparent reason for you to make a U-turn. However, you couldn’t say as much for Gojo, something indirectly confirmed by your sister’s words. He was probably becoming uncontrollable, rebelling and challenging the word of people who always had, for very long years, their hands wrapped around the decisions of this world. But what’s a marriage, with a girl who didn’t even come from a notorious family, going to change? That was what you couldn’t get.
“In my opinion, he’s probably unaware of this. Gojo isn’t the type to…you know, commit. I don’t think it’s serious.”
“They didn’t look like they were joking.”
“You should talk to him-“
“No, absolutely not. If these people want to play marriage agencies then they might as well carry it to the end.” You replied, seeming way too indifferent about the situation. Yuki was even wondering if you were aware of what was expected of you.
You didn’t want to meet him, and even if you were to accept it, you would only see him once it was inevitable: your honeymoon. For now, it was just hot air, nothing serious. Or at least it won’t be unless you give your final answer. Meeting him would make things too official, and that scared you.
“Listen, we’ll talk about this at home. Or around a drink, look at that! My lil’ sis is now of drinking age.”
Yuki extends her hand toward you, caressing your forearm with the tip of her fingers. Maybe one day, you won’t get the privilege to any of this tenderness, this affection. Reality was catching up to you, and with it a river of tears comes surging, reddening your eyes. You weren’t ready for all of this, you weren’t even twenty and yet you were stripped of all that was yours. Your sister notices that, then pulls you against her, your head barely reaching the space between her throat and shoulder. Your cheek was plastered against her skin in such an intimate contact that you could easily feel her beating heart. Her carotid rhythmically pulsing the blood, beating against you, following a calm and regular rhythm whereas your heart slowly started to race. Maybe your body’s reaction was quicker than your mind, was that a sign? Was it mother nature yelling at you to run before it was too late ?
A warm and gentle hand pulls you out of your thoughts as it lodges in your hair, caressing it from the top to the tips in the same steady timing. Now that you think of it, Yuki has always been a very steady person in her actions. It made you think about the way that people imagined her, and how they could be so wrong. To them, she was a reckless woman, an adult child, a person in possession of great power over which she’d never take responsibility. But you, you knew that it wasn’t her. Yuki never left anything to chance, each calorie she spent was calculated, consumed in a specific goal. And even if she never had been clear on the reasons which led her to take off, claiming an untamable desire to discover the world, you knew, deep down, that there was something she was trying to hide from the world.
“It’d be best if we went back home, I need to announce all of this to mom and dad.”
“What are you planning to do?” She asked while leading you toward the bike.
“I don’t know, I have until tomorrow to give them an answer on what might be the most important decision in my whole life, these guys are insane!”
You abruptly lift your arm in the air, showcasing your frustration, which can only make the blondie laugh as she puts a helmet over your head, covering your eyes along the way, stretching along with it your lips into a little rictus whilst you climb behind her on the motorbike.
As per usual, whenever you ride together, you’d pinch her sides from time to time, and she’d answer with a grumble even if it didn’t bother her; a bunch of little habits that made up your intimacy and complicity with her.
Once home, Yuki turns off the motor but decides against coming down right away. Instead, she puts one foot on the ground to maintain her stance then bares her head, letting the wind play with her blonde mane. She stays there, frozen for a moment, before sighing, searching for the best words, which was totally unlike her.
“I have a little idea on what they’ll tell you, keep your chin up. If you don’t want to then you don’t want to.”
You simply nod your head before putting your hand on the door’s handle, taking a deep inhale. You were going to need some courage as to not spill everything you were told; your parents didn’t need to know what was being said about Yuki. They were proud of her, and never worried about her. As long as it lasts.
You had barely taken off your shoes that your mother already threw herself at you, hugging you to the verge of tears. Your eldest threw a confused look at you while your father came close with a bouquet in hands.
“You should have told us that you had a boyfriend! His family came straight from Tokyo to announce the news.”
You almost choked as you heard what they just said, you had no boyfriend. Your mind immediately imagined a bad joke orchestrated by Naoya in order to embarrass you, knowing all the discipline you showed in front of your family. Or to simply, or rather in the most perverted manner, remind you tha what was expected of a woman was to found a home and then toward the kitchen. But Naoya wasn’t from Tokyo, his family wasn’t either. Could it be that…
“Gojo! Your mother articulates between two sobs. The name would fit you so well! Your dad is right, you should have told us. You can imagine our surprise when we saw them at the door! They look incredibly kind.”
“And rich!”
“Dad! Come on…Yuki throws in.”
Him and your mother exchanged a little knowing smile, while you and your sister tried to stay cool before this revelation, this name resonating like a gong between your ears.
You let yourself get dragged to the living room while your mind wandered somewhere else, at the bottom of a trench in your head. You, who had always risked your life for this society, were nothing more than a marionette to his eyes. Alright, one shouldn’t generalize, nor put the blame on people you knew neither by identity nor by face. You knew perfectly well, but can you not hate the whole world when you were being manipulated without scruples. You threw a look full of reproach toward your sister who, just earlier, was trying to convince you that Satoru had nothing to do with this story. She simply shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what to say.
“So, what did you tell them exactly?” Your sister asked while she sitting on a chair, facing the backrest, legs spread open.
“Well, we told them that the final word was in the hands of the involved party. They can’t wait to meet you, your boyfriend must have told them a lot of good things about you for them to come all the way here.” Your mother throws in her supposition while sitting beside you on the sofa with you resting your head on her shoulder, almost unconsciously, gaze lost faraway.
“I don’t doubt it for even a second.” Sarcasm dripping from your words.
“The Gojo clan is a very traditional family, I’m surprised they accepted that their son, who is the little star of the circus, would welcome someone like her within his family: a commoner. They said nothing about this?” Yuki wonders aloud, she clearly had an idea cooking.
“Oh, right they mentioned this problem, at first they weren’t thrilled by the idea, and then the power of love convinced them. Isn’t that cute?. She replied.
This whole farce was breaking your heart. You never saw your mother so happy, her eyes gleaming, her facial muscles were probably paining her from all this smiling. She had lost the hope to one day see her first daughter have a stable life, a husband, children…all of this wasn’t for Yuki. She had then, maybe, unconsciously repressed all of her hopes of seeing a family growing on you. You wanted to tell her the truth, to tell her that all of this was a lie, that this man wasn’t what he seemed to be; spitting out all that the counsel had revealed to you. But you could simply not move your lips.You father waved the bouquet of flowers your way to catch your attention. His face was a tad bit red, he probably didn’t expect things to go this way, he must have been both embarrassed and honored that people from such a good family would come knock at their door. You even started wondering at what moment exactly did they manage to make you forget that your life wasn’t marrying a rich heir, or a renowned exorcist. Apparently, in your case, it was a perfect mix of the two.
“I suppose that you’re going to accept?”
« Do I really have a choice » was what you wanted to respond. You felt the heavy gaze of your sister weighing down on you, a gaze that yelled at you to say no and to make yourself, for once in your dam life, come first before others. But she knew you you well enough to know that if she meddled in, you’d probably never forgive her. So you did what you could do best, always reproducing the same pattern.
“Of course, why would I refuse?”You replied, trying to look as happy and content as you could.
Your choice was made, your fate forever tied to that of the most powerful exorcist in the world. You felt like you had, with your own hands, written the your name to the pantheon of cowards by giving the right to perfect strangers to decide of your life, to write the lines of a romance that you’ll probably never know.
You smiled, feigning some kind of distorted happiness while your heart was torn inside your chest. You were hurting yourself, destroying yourself with your own hands. Your father noticed your uneasiness through your facade then asked you what was wrong. You answered simply that your day had been extremely long and that the news of this marriage proposal had moved you. You kiss your mother’s forehead one last time before retiring to your room, letting your sister take care of keeping them company, and hearing them throw roses at the Gojo clan.
Once confined in your intimacy, you finally let yourself crumble down. You no longer held in the tears that are currently flowing down your cheeks. You unconsciously brought your hand to your heart, grasping tightly in your fist as much flesh as you could hold. You never felt such intense pain in your life. Your heart was in pieces, and every second that passed weighed on your conscience, your honor tarnished, yourself neglected, and your life spoiled, without even knowing why. One thing was sure, you’d never forgive Gojo Satoru for having ruined your life.
You made the choice of marrying him. But you also chose to make him regret, till your last breath, to have imposed himself in your life.
↳ Choices we’re bound to make in life don’t always turn out well, and you would have to learn that the hard way, maybe should you have listened to your sister when she tried to dissuade you from marrying a man that you didn’t know, as charming as he might seem.
“You know damn well that you don’t have to do this, lil’ sis. The trips, running away from missions, all of that, I like it! You should stop listening to each and every word our parents say” says your eldest, leaning by the doorframe of the room that used to be yours for twenty long years.
“Yuki…I’m not worried about you, they’re in danger too. Every person that’s cross with you would know exactly where to hit, I’m sure that just the name alone -Gojo- would be enough to dissuade them. It’s just a wedding, an alliance, also he doesn’t seem all that terrible; we might hit it off.”
With this, you close your luggage. You hadn’t decided to bring much with you: some clothes, photos of your family and some of your friends. You never had any attachment, living your life as though you were its omniscient narrator: so present yet so far away. That was part of the reason why you couldn’t see this marriage as a drama anymore , you didn’t intend to make any emotional investment. You would promise faithfulness, obedience and descendants to your spouse, in exchange he would offer you protection and safety. It was as though life was offering you a chance to live a fairy tale.
However, the choices that we’re led to make in life don’t always turn out well, and you would have to learn that the hard way. Finally, maybe you should have listened to your sister when she tried to dissuade you from marrying a man that you didn’t know, as charming as he might seem. Maybe you shouldn’t have underestimated your marital responsibilities.
Because after all, the most beautiful tales are those with the most tragic endings.
Hey! Back with another update! Sorry for the wait! with this chapter we officially have the first arc done with! Hope you can stick with me through the others! There will be another break between chapters as I plan and start writing again. Life is getting busy and completely changing for me, so as I adjust I’ll be taking some time away from this.
Keith had come to Altea with a few ideas about what his wedding night would be like. They centered around two scenarios created before he knew Shiro personally. The first scenario was the one that scared him the most. It was the traditional route where Keith was required to lay back and spread his legs. There were few ways for him to get out of it and most of them left a bitter taste in his mouth and consequences he couldn’t avoid. He could assault his spouse and face dire repercussions or lay back and listen to the training from the academy (he was scared that was his default, to escape into the back of his mind to avoid the pain of what was happening to him).
It could have also gone down the disinterested route which, in theory, sounded wonderful. But all it did was fill Keith with an unease: unease and a deep hatred for himself because he should have strived for this scenario, not feel shame for being rejected. It made him feel like the deca-phoeb he spent conforming to the academy had truly worked against him. He pretended to play with their rules but in the end maybe he had been truly listening to them after all.
He hadn’t thought his wedding night would include Shiro, a rather giant bed and room with an armful of blankets.
The conflict between the First Order and Ken Palpatine has reached its boiling point. In order to assure the safety of her family, Rey agrees to marry the apprentice of the First Order’s leader, Kylo Ren. Will the galaxy’s hope be restored or it will be further shrouded in darkness?
I love an arranged marriage AU! Thanks for letting me know about this one, @helenfl92 ! Check it out, Reylos!
Ngl not that big into reading on tumblr. At all. But gave it a try and fell in love with a hella good charlastor fiction holy shit not even finished yet but there’s a lot of word count and proper grammar & those are the biggest turn ons for me in a fanfic and it’s too good to keep to myself so here
Check out Arranged Marriageby@charliesradiodemon if you want to fucking die of heated fluff:
Edit: okay, so, apparently it’s proper title is called Push and Pull on Ao3 by the same author which I wasn’t aware of since the chapters published on tumblr have a different heading but yeah.
➵ Summary: Back when they were in high school, Taehyung and Jeongguk’s grandparents made a pact. Taehyung just wishes that it didn’t force him to marry his rival.
selcouth (adj): unfamiliar, rare, strange — and yet, marvelous
➵ tags: enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, model taehyung, photographer jungkook, sexual tension, light angst, pranks, humor, way too many marvel references
“You can’t fucking keep me down here Iz.” Edward snarled at the first mate from behind the bars of the brig he’d been thrown in. Izzy was stood in front of him he stared at the man he called captain in disgust.
“It’s just until we’re far enough away from shore so you don’t try anything stupid.”
“The second I get out of here I am going to fucking strangle you.” Edward slammed his hands on the bars but Izzy was unfazed. Turning heel to walk to the upper deck. “Hey! I’m fucking talking to you!” Then the man was gone and Edward was left along. “Fucking! Asshole!” He yelled one last time before backing against the wall. Leaning back and slumping over as he fell to the ground. Not caring about the ruined jacket as he brought his knees up and buried his face in them.
“C'mon Ed. Think.” He hit the side of his head as he tried to think. He knew The Queen Anne’s Revenge like the back of his hand and he knew damn well there was only one way out of the brig. The key to which he’d seen Izzy give Fang to safe guard. Fang was an alright enough bloke but he and everyone else on his crew knew above all else to obey the captain. And if he wasn’t around, then Izzy was in charge. Angry little traitorous fucker-
No…okay maybe there wasn’t a way to force himself out. His mind falling back to Stede as they got further and further away from the Barbados. How would Stede get out of here? He didn’t have an aggressive bone in his body. Physically at least. Remembering what the blonde man had said about using words instead. Izzy couldn’t exactly be reasoned with at the moment but…
Looking up he saw a familiar man pacing in front of the hold just above him on the upper deck. Edward grinned.
“Fang! Mind coming down here for a bit?” The man looked around, confused for a moment. Edward nodded. “Yeah, you. Come on.” Fang hesitated for a moment before approaching.
“I’m not supposed to be talking to you. If Izzy sees me I could get in trouble.”
“Izzy? C'mon man, don’t tell me you’re afraid of Izzy the Spewer. We both know I just put him in charge cause I’m fond of the little bugger.” Edward was careful to make sure Fang didn’t notice him side eyeing the key on his waist. “You know I probably shouldn’t tell you but as soon as you’re not around he talks about how…healthy you look.”
“That’s a good thing isn’t it?”
“I thought so too but turns out when someone says that, they’re calling you fat.” Fang gasped audibly.
“No.”
“Yes! Someone like that shouldn’t be left in charge, don’t ya think?” Fang was close now.
“I mean I guess but you’re the one in charge.”
“Right? So shouldn’t I be out?”
Before Fang got the chance to answer Edward lunged out. His arms reaching out and wrapping around the man’s neck. Slamming his head into the bars with one arm and using the other to grab the key. Fang dropped to the ground as Edward excitedly undid the lock to his cell. Grabbing a groaning Fang and depositing him in the cell.
“Sorry bout this Fang but I have someone to go back to.”
~~
“Stede, you can’t just hide out in your room all day. You have to come out now.”
The voice of Stede’s father reverberated through the room as he pounded on the door. It seemed that indeed his husband to be had ran away in the middle of the night back to the freedom of the ocean. Multiple reports of him being seen with his crew leaving the bay in his ship. No matter how much Stede wanted to deny it, he couldn’t. And now Stede found himself completely and utterly alone again.
“Boy, I’m talking to you!” Well not completely alone. He was stuck with the blight on his life known as his father. Stede groaned. Knowing the man wasn’t going anywhere, Stede found himself stumbling tiredly over to his bedroom door. Opening it to be greeted by his father glaring at him. The man made a face at the state of his son.
Stede was still clad in his dressing gown from the night before despite it almost being noon. His face was red, clear he’d been crying a while ago with messy hair he refused to touch. The older man noticed a half empty bottle of bourbon spilled on the floor nearby.
“What?” Stede snapped at his father in a way that any other time he would’ve been afraid to.
“You’re a mess.” The man sneered. “All over some pirate.” He gestured for Stede to follow him which the blonde did after stumbling out of the doorframe. “Honestly Stede, I have no idea what you expected.” As they walked down the hall Stede kept his head down and stared at his feet. “They’re all the same disgusting vermin. You could tell just by looking at him that he wasn’t anything but a low life.”
The man stopped just in front of the main staircase, pausing to turn to his son. Stede stopped and looked up at his father. His stern face had a smirk on it.
“I would too.”
“What?”
“If I had the chance, I’d leave you too. Look at you.” He jabbed Stede in the gut. “Your mother died of shame the instant you were born and you keep finding new and inventive ways to disappoint me. Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you two snuck out to the garden. You fell in love with a pirate!” The man laughed. And laughed, and laughed and Stede felt his blood boil. The years of abuse and humiliation combined with the heart break made the Stede snap. Not even thinking as he pushed his tormentor down the stairs.
“Izzy? Holy shit. How the fuck did you get here?” Edward got up to face his first mate. Izzy was the same as ever, still wearing his clothes from the day he surrended to the British. As most times when Edward saw him, a deep scowl was etched into Izzy’s face as he glared at Edward.
“Not all of us were so eager to give up.” He sneered. “The fuck happened to you?”
“Oh, you mean the beard? They-”
“Not that you fucking twat. What you were doing back there.” Izzy poked an accusatory finger into Ed’s chest. “I was watching you. You let that rich boy fop kiss you. Are you insane? And what are you even wearing?”
“First of all, I kissed him. His name is Stede.”
“What?”
“Stede. Technically I’m engaged to him.” Izzy stared at him incredulously before shaking his head.
“You know what, nevermind. None of that’s important.” Izzy grabbed Ed by the shoulders to make him duck down or of view from a man strolling through the gardens. “We came here to get you out of this place.”
“Get me out? Izzy, I don’t know if you remembered, but I surrendered. Signed an Act of Grace and everything.”
“You’re Blackbeard. You don’t fucking care about that shit. Now stop fucking around so we can get out before anyone notices us.” He tried to pull Edward along but the man shoved Izzy away. His former first mate stared up at Edward surprised.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Not leaving? You have to be joking.”
“No. Iz, man you don’t get it.” Edward took Izzy’s hands much to the smaller man’s confusion. “This place is amazing. There’s food all the time and fancy clothes that actually fit…and then there’s Stede. The dude’s a fucking maniac but he’s something else. I think I like him.”
“Like? Captain, you can’t be serious. Like that blonde little ponce? You buggering him or something?”
“It’s more than that! He’s special.” Izzy blinked before he shook his head.
“You’ve lost it. All this posh bullshit going to your head-you’ve only known him for what? Three days?” The first mate took his arms back. “We’re going back to the ship and you’re going to get all that nonsense out of your head.”
“Izzy, I’m sorry man but it’s over. I’m not going to leave.” Edward turned around and was surprised to see two of his crewmates waiting. “Ivan? Fang? What’s going on?”
“Brought em along in case we needed the help. Clearly we need them more than I thought.” Izzy watched as the confusion further knit itself into Edward’s features. “This is for your own good captain.”
~~
Stede had returned to the party, hiding himself away in a corner away from all the other guests as he waited for Ed to return. Craning his neck occasionally to try and check the crowd but he didn’t see the brown eyes he’d come to know amongst the aristocrats and other guests his father deemed important enough to invite. It had been a few seconds. Then minutes. Then an hour.
The whole time Stede stared at the giant grandfather clock on the opposite side of the room as he waited for his fiance. Ed was still nowhere to be seen as Stede tapped his foot anxiously.
“Stede.” The blonde man practically jumped at his father’s voice. “Where the fuck is he?” Stede stumbled for words, trying to avoid his father’s glare. “We can’t very well start without both of you present.”
“I ugh, I’m sure he’ll back soon. Said he just had to step out for air. That’s all.” Stede was aware of laughter from a nearby group. Turning to see Nigel talking to a few others, having clearly been eavesdropping on them.
“Or maybe he just wanted to get away from you. Imagine, even a pirate not wanting you.”
Stede bit his tongue. Nigel was wrong and Ed would be back any minute now…
“Baby Bonnet, it’s been years.” The man that approached them was dressed in a British Royal Navy uniform. Edward felt Stede’s grip on his arm tighten as they turned to fully face him.
“Nigel. I didn’t know you were invited.” The man, Nigel, laughed. Not so playfully punching Stede in his free arm. The blonde man visibly winced.
“Look at you. Same always. Although a little more….” The man stared at Stede’s stomach for a long moment. “…healthy than most I see.” He laughed at his own comment before seeming to notice Edward. “Ah and you must be the Blackbeard. Sans a beard it would seem.” Edward had been keenly aware of all the side eyes he got when he’d entered with Stede. But it was even worse up close. The man eyeing him like a hungry wolf looking for something to criticize.
“How do you know Stede?” Edward asked and with the face Stede made he knew he said the wrong thing. Nigel on the other hand looked giddy.
“We went to boarding school together! I’m surprised he didn’t mention it, all the crying he did there. Never really managed to keep up with us.” Stede’s was deathly quiet as his fingers continued to bury themselves into Edward’s arm. “He just read and picked flowers. I suppose this little engagement of yours isn’t surprising all things considered -”
“Shut up.” Stede finally snapped. Not loud enough for everyone around them to hear but it certainly caught the man off guard.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, shut. Up.” Stede spoke again, slightly louder this time. Letting go of Edward’s jacket sleeve and quickly walking away. Disappearing into the small crowd of people and leaving both he and Nigel behind.
“Seems baby Bonnet’s still the same. Can’t handle anything like a real man.”
“Hey Nick or whatever it is, how about you go fuck yourself?” Edward spoke. Nigel was taken aback but he didn’t care. Shoving past people as he tried to follow after Stede.
~~
“Stede? Hey man where are you?” Edward had followed the man out the back door. It led to the gardens. Trimmed hedges and bushes lining the way down a path the former pirate found himself trying to navigate. Squinting against the darkness he saw the vague shape of someone crouched under a man made alcove in one of the bushes. Edward could hear the man heavily breathing as he leaned down to face the blonde. “Stede?”
“Go away.” The man sniffed. Had he been crying? Edward ignored what the man said. Instead he fought with the bushes, pushing enough aside as to take a seat next to his fiance.
“Are you okay?”
“Do I look okay to you?” Stede snapped at the man. Despite the darkness, Edward could very clearly see Stede’s face was a mess. “Sorry, I…didn’t mean to yell. It’s just that, that….”
“Bastard?”
“Yes that. He really knows how to get under my skin. His stupid passive aggressive comments….I’m not even fat!”
“He called you fat?”
“Not directly. You probably never had to deal with it before. You’re so lucky to have been a pirate. Free to do whatever you want to whoever you want. In high society we can’t physically hurt each other so we just use cutting words.”
“That’s fucking diabolical.” Some things rich people did, Edward was beginning to realize he’d never understand. This was probably one of them. “If you want I could go back and punch him in the face.” Stede snorted.
“No it’s fine. Then you’d just get in trouble. Besides, all that stuff he said was true. Him, my father and everyone else think I’m just another rich boy who can’t do anything.”
“I don’t think you’re any of that.” Edward quickly spoke.
“You’ve known me for two…three days now? Trust me, the more you get to know me, the worse I get.” The moonlight peered through the bushes now. It illuminated Stede’s face as Edward leaned forward. Raising his hand to cup Stede’s face, Edward leaned in and placed his lips on the other man’s. The kiss lasting only a moment before Edward quickly pulled away. Stede stared at him with wide eyes. The former pirate wondering if he fucked up for a moment when Stede returned the gesture. Quickly pulling Edward back into the intimate gesture. Stede’s hands trailing back where they entangled in his long gray hair.
The moment seemed to last an eternity before they pulled away from each other. Edward and Stede were both flushed as they moved away. Stede quickly standing up.
“I, ugh….we better get back to the dinner.”
“Right.” Edward agreed. “We probably shouldn’t go back at the same time. Who knows what those fuck faces would say.”
“See you in a bit then?”
“Of course.” Edward didn’t realize how wide the grin on his face was until Stede disappeared from his line of view. The man going to follow when he heard the bushes behind him rustle. Instinctively he went into defense mode and backed away when a familiar voice spoke.
“If it’s a rehearsal I don’t get why we have to dress up. It’s not like it’s the actual thing.”
“That may be true but you still have to dress for the occasion. Now what colors do you prefer? I have a few that might fit you without any tailoring needed.”
Stede pulled Edward into his walk in closet. Edward ran his hand along the suit jackets sleeves. Stopping in front of a purple one. It’s fabric was so soft…
“I see something caught your eye.” Stede saw Edward admiring the blazer. Reaching over he pulled it out for the former pirate to get a better look.
“Never seen one this color.” Edward admitted. Purple dye was rare, remembering a trading ship they plundered once. Three bolts of purple cloth was enough to buy a month’s worth of rations for the whole crew. He almost felt guilty even touching it. His mother’s words ringing in his head about how they’d never be the kind of people who would have these kinds of things.
“It suits you. Here.” Stede handed the suit jacket to Edward with a smile.
“Are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Stede asked, clearly confused by Edwards hesitation. Edward stared at it for a moment before shrugging off his shirt and pants. Stede’s face turned a bright red at the almost naked man. “Whoa okay, I’ll be….outside…” Stede raised a hand as he averted his gaze but his eyes were immediately drawn to the man’s tattooed chest. Scars and black ink covered almost every inch of skin. Edward was well aware the man’s staring and he laughed.
“See something you like?” Stede gaped before quickly exiting the closet and slamming the door behind him. Edward turned back to the expansive closet, looking for pants to go with the jacket when he saw a strange lever on the far wall. Looking over his shoulder than back Edward found himself curious as he pulled the lever. One of the large wall panels swung open to reveal another room. Another closet. Within in a closet. Edward guffawed. Stede Bonnet was truly an enigma.
~~
“I thought you said this was just a rehearsal dinner.”
“It is.”
“Then why are there so many people?” Edward peered out at his fiance’s father’s home. Multiple carriages were lined up outside. The large windows of the mansion allowed him to see the many people inside. Stede seemed just as perplexed and nervous when he saw them.
“I have no idea.” Stede winced as the vehicle came to a stop. “Maybe we should go back home. Avoid this whole debacle.”
“We’re already here. Might as well go in.” Edward started to get up but Stede moved in front of the carriage door to stop him.
“Ed, these people aren’t like you. High society is…well it’s lot of things but none of them are good. Trust me. You’re not ready for this.”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Edward glared at Stede. He could do just as well as any of these other rich assholes. Pushing through Stede and out the carriage door the man made his way to mansion’s entrance. Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw Stede pause before scrambling over to his side. Adjusting the stupid powdered wig he had on in the process.
“There you are.” Stede’s father stood at the front door a stern look in his face as he spoke to Stede. “I thought I told you to arrive promptly at seven.”
“There was-”
“Nevermind your inane excuses boy. As you can see I invited some very important guests to observe the occasion.” The man ushered the two in to the main foyer where the guests were already mingling with each other. “I expect you to play nice and actually interact with these people.” The man turning to Edward and finally acknowledging his existence. “And make sure to keep him on a short leash. Neither of you are to embarrass me, do you understand?”
“Yes sir.” Stede replied without question. The man wandering off as someone beckoned him over. Edward seethed.
“Short leash? The fuck does he think I am? Some kind of dog?” Stede grabbed his arm before he could follow your older man.
“Just ignore him Ed. He’s like that with everyone.” Somehow Edward doubted that but fine. Whatever. Old dude was a dumb fuck anyway.
“So what do we do at these things? And how do we win?”
“Well people come to these things to make friends. And by friends I mean people who will make them look better. It’s pretty easy to win, all you have to do is make them like you. At least until they turn their backs.”
“Sounds like a bunch of assholes.”
“Trust me, they are.” Stede scanned the room when he saw something that made his face sour. Edward was slightly confused as the man took his arm, turning him around to walk in the opposite direction when a man’s voice called out.
“First things first. You need a crew lined up for this ship.” Edward spoke as Stede jotted something down in his journal. The man didn’t know why but that he’d been acting strange since he’d woken up that morning. Avoiding looking him in the eyes as the former pirate leaned against the blonde man’s desk.
“Already got started on that actually!” Stede grinned as there was a knock from downstairs. “That is probably our first interviewee now!” The man sped walked downstairs. Edward hesitating for a moment before following. Despite what everything else might indicate, the man had a surprising amount of energy. Arriving closely behind Stede at the front door where he pulled it open to reveal a larger bald man excitedly showing off the flyer in his hands.
“I heard Blackbeard was looking for a new crew!”
Edward raised an eyebrow at the man then at Stede who sheepishly backed away.
“I may or may not have used your name to advertise this.”
Oh this was going to be interesting.
~~
“So what’s your name?”
“I go by Black Pete.”
“And how exactly did you get this nickname?”
“My former crew mates gave it to me. Said I was as fierce a fighter as Blackbeard himself. Might of heard of me. I was Captain Bellamy’s right hand man for a bit.” Edward had to cover up his laughter with coughing. This guy was full of bullshit, he knew Bellamy’s right hand man very well. He took his right eyeball out of it’s socket. They weren’t on very good terms, needless to say.
“Alright well, all your credentials considered, we will have to give you a callback!” The man got up and shuffled out of the parlor room they’d settled in. Waiting to make sure the room was completely empty before he spoke.
“So Blackbeard’s crew?”
“I didn’t know what else to write down! I mean if I just put Stede Bonnet they’d just look at the flyer, see my name and say who?”
“You do realize most people can’t read, right?”
“I, well of course I do. But it gets the word out.” Stede saw the way Edward was straining his eyes to look at the poster when it hit him. “You can’t read, can you?”
“Well a word here and there. Otherwise, no.” Stede visibly frowned. Wanting to say something when the door to the parlor opened and another man peeked his head in.
“Scuse me, this where I’m supposed to go to join Blackbeard’s crew?” Seemed whatever he had to say would have to wait until after they finished their interviews.
~~
“There’s a….bird on you’re head.”
“His name’s Karl.”
“Right-o. And do you and Karl have any experience in sea faring?” Stede stared at the strange balding man. Ed was entranced by the man and his bird. The bird almost as equally smitten as it flew over and landed in Ed’s hair. The bird letting out a caw as it did so.
“Karl says he likes ye.”
~~
“I see you don’t talk much.”
The apparently mute man across from the two grunted. An unkempt beard with a large red nose made the man stand out. Well that and the rather large knife in his hands that he was sharpening against the heel of his boot.
“Right well you seem like a very intriguing candidate but I’ll have to-”
“You’re hired.” Ed quickly spoke.
“What?” Stede asked, a bit confused.
“I have a good feeling about him.”
~~
“I’m good with knives.”
“As in cooking or fighting?”
“Both.”
The man with wild hair and an even wilder look in his eyes stared at the two.
“Well I suppose we are going to need a chef.”
~~
“You ever been sketched? You have some lovely cheekbones.”
The young man sat on the couch across from them was a lot younger than the others. Made Edward wonder why he’d show up for a job like this when it seemed his only skills were reading, writing and drawing. Sketching something into a the paper scroll he brought with him with a piece of charcoal. Stede was clearly interested in the boy as he beamed.
“Well I mean I have had a few portraits done-”
“Not you, him.” The boy pointed at Edward. “I already saw that giant portrait of you on the way in.” Stede was offended but Edward was confused. Flushing a bit at the compliment from before.
“I don’t know why we need the boy-I mean I can already read and write.”
“But you’re the one who said you wanted a personal assistant.”
“I just don’t have a good feeling about him.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re jealous.” Ed grinned as he and Stede poured over the potential candidates for their crew. Stede waved a hand at the notion.
“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s nothing to be jealous of. I’ll just put him in the maybe pile.”
Stede moved the papers around when there was a knock on the parlor door.
“Come in!”
One of the servants opened the door and peeked their head in.
“Excuse me sir, your father wished me to remind you of the rehearsal dinner tonight.”
“Rehearsal -oh I forgot all about it!” Stede cursed under his breathe and Ed stared at him.
“Rehearsal dinner?”
“Oh right, it’s something we do the night before a wedding. Practice what we’re actually going to say and do before the wedding proper.”
“Why?” Ed asked clearly confused.
“To make sure nothing goes wrong the actual day. It’ll give us time to practice your table manners. But first, let’s get you dressed properly.”
Edward had never seen so many books in one place. Wall to wall, pages he couldn’t read sat for Stede to show off.
“It’s not as big as my father’s but I still like to fancy myself a collector.” Edward wandered around the room when his eyes focused on the mantle place in it’s center. A bottle with a tiny ship in it. He picked it up, fascinated
“How the fuck you even get this in here?” The former pirate looked over the curio intently as Stede came up behind him.
“I made it myself. But that’s not the best part.” He took Edward over to his desk where the diagram to a very similar boat was laid out. “I commissioned an exact replica to be built. Well not exact, I mean it’s going to be actual boat size.”
“No.” Ed couldn’t believe it.
“Yes!”
“That’s absolutely fucking mad. I love it.” Edward ran a hand along the plans. “Didn’t know you were sailor.”
“I’m not. Well at least not yet. That’s actually part of the other reason I chose to meet with you.”
“Sorry mate, can’t help you there. I was a pirate. Not a sailor.”
“That’s the thing! I’m entering the privateer business. It’s like being a pirate but for the British government.” Stede excitedly explained. Edward raised an eyebrow. Not to be rude but Stede wasn’t exactly the pirating type. The blonde man noticed the face his fiance was making. “I was hoping it was possible…you could teach me everything you know. You’re a legend.”
The man scrambled for a book nearby, opening it up and turning it to an illustrated page. Edward squinted as he looked closer.
“Is that supposed to be me?” He took the book from Stede’s hand. “Why do I have so many guns in this? They drew me with eight-nine guns! Who needs that many guns. I just had the one gun and the one sword like everyone else.” Not to mention the portrait wasn’t even accurate. His beard hadn’t been black since he was twenty something.
“Regardless of the accuracy, I was wondering if maybe you could teach me how to be a ship’s captain. Or at least not have my crew throw me overboard.” Edward looked the man up and down before humming.
“That might take a bit off work but since you’re teaching me all that fancy stuff I suppose it’s only fair.” There was a loud clanging noise that rang through the library making Edward jump. Grabbing the nearby letter opener and swinging it around violently as he yelled.
“The fuck was that?!” His body tensed up as he felt Stede’s hands on his forearm.
“Whoa there Ed, it’s just the clock.” The man pointed at the device on the wall. “It rings every hour on the hour-”
“Yeah I know what a clock is. I’m not stupid.” Edward huffed as he took his arm back and set the letter opener down. “I was just startled, that’s all.”
“Right then…well it’s getting late. I suppose we should retire to bed then.”
~~
Stede lied wide awake in his bed, unable to sleep. Ed laid on the opposite side of bed as he loudly snored. Stede’s bed was the only clean one in the whole estate and he refused to let the other man sleep on the floor so they found themselves next to each other, tangled in the bedsheets. The blonde man rolling over to see his future husband curled up. Ed holding the satin sheets tight to his body like a child with a blanket. Stede didn’t mind too much, it was still rather warm for this time of year.
It was surreal. Being so close to this man he’d heard so much about. He wasn’t what Stede expected but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The man was nice. A lot nicer than he’d expected for a former pirate. Not to mention, the way it pissed his father being around the man was the first laugh he’d had in a long while. Stede found himself smiling again as he started to doze off when he felt strong arms grab his middle.
Stede panicked for a moment before realizing it was just Ed. Still deep in his slumber as he pulled the other man close. The man struggling for a moment before allowing himself to adjust into the curve of Ed’s arms as to not disturb him. Stede could feel the man’s hair on his back, only now realizing exactly how long it was. It smelled like oranges.
The carriage ride home was suffered in a strained silence. Stede’s father staring at his son and his soon to be husband, not so quietly judging the pair with his eyes. Blackbeard…well Ed, Stede supposed seemed oblivious to this. Instead he was excitedly taking in the carriage, feeling along the border of the seats and it’s fabric. Glancing out the carriage’s window with an almost child like glee as they passed the town by.
“Fucking hell, never been in one of these before. Always wondered what they looked like on the inside.”
Both Stede and his father were visibly taken aback by the casual coarse language. Stede supposed he shouldn’t be surprised, being a man of the seas and all.
“I know you’re not used to such company Mr. Teach but I Will ask you to refrain from such talk.” Stede’s father bristled. Ed snorted, elbowing Stede in the side as he pointed a thumb at the other man’s father.
“What crawled up his ass and died?” Stede had to admit, he found himself holding in a laugh as he saw the face his father made. “So which one of you poor bastards am I supposed to marry?”
“That would be me.” Stede rose his hand slightly. “I’m sorry we didn’t have time to properly introduce ourselves back there. My name is Stede Bonnet.”
“Sounds like the name of a horse. Hey if I’m getting married to you, am I taking your last name? Edward Bonnet. Kind of has a nice ring to it don’t you think?” The carriage pulled a stop and Stede’s father spoke.
“I think you two should get settled with your estate while we figure out the paperwork.” The footman came around and opened the door allowing Stede and Ed to exit. “Stede, please train your little…pet project before the official ceremony. I’d prefer you not make a fool of us. Do you understand?”
“Yes father.”
Stede answered obediently and the carriage door slammed shut before taking off. There was a pause before Ed raised his hand to flip the carriage off.
“Your dad’s a fucking dick.”
Stede couldn’t help but agree.
~~
It was dinner when Edward saw his husband to be again. The man quickly retreating into his study as soon as they entered the massive mansion. Edward had been presented with many oddities in his exploration of the place but the spread before him was by far one of the most confusing.
Forks, as it turned out, were for eating, not brushing your hair. And there were at least four of them set out. All different sizes and and colors. When the servant brought a plate of something he couldn’t identify, Edward was deftly aware that in this kind of space he probably wasn’t supposed to eat with his hands. Turning to his soon to be husband at the opposite end of the table he observed the man using one of these forks to pick up the food. Grabbing the one closest to him, Edward skewered the serving and brought it up to his mouth. He noticed the face Stede made when he did this.
“What? I do something wrong?”
“No it’s just, that’s the salad fork.”
“What?”
“The fork for salads. That won’t come until after dessert.”
“Wait there’s more after this?” Damn this guy really was fancy of he could afford this shit. “Okay then, where do I start?”
“Ugh, well it’s rather simple actually. There’s seven courses and we start from the outside and go in. Right now we’re on our appetizer. That’s the smallest fork closest to your left hand.” Edward looked over at the other fork before shrugging.
“Fork’s a fork.” He ate the food, fork be damned.
“We can work on your table manners later.” Edward nodded as he chewed. Actually tasted pretty good.
“What’s this anyway?”
“Oh! A French delicacy, frog legs. It’s all the rage in Paris.”
“Mmm, never had frog before.” Ed reached over and grabbed the goblet of wine he was provided, chugging the drink before letting out a loud belch. Stede recoiled at this. “So how we gonna do this then?”
“Do what?”
“This whole marriage bullshit. What do you actually want? I mean I could bugger you if you want but-”
“No, oh wow, no. I mean we just met!” Stede’s face flushed red at the implication. “Besides you’re a, I mean you’re well, you and I’m-I mean we’re both men.” Edward shrugged.
“So? We’re getting hitched, wouldn’t be out of the question. Wouldn’t be the first man I’ve been with.”
“No. It’s nothing like that. I had to be married anyway. I just figured when I heard about your predicament it would be as convenient solution for the both of us.” Stede was far too quick to explain and Edward stared at him. “I mean that and I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Really? And what exactly have you heard about me?” Edward was genuinely interested in what this strange little man thought about him. Watching as Stede pauser before standing up and coming around the table towards him with an almost giddy look in his eyes.
“I can’t imagine what you hope to gain from this arrangement. We had a perfectly fine young woman lined up for you to wed. And at least she would’ve been able to give me a proper heir.”
Stede sat in the carriage opposite his aging father, trying to avoid his gaze as he stared out the window.
“A pirate for God’s sake, it’s as if you go out of your way to continue to disgrace this family.”
“It’s for the government and country.” Stede ignored his father’s previous insult as he spoke. “Bettering the most feared pirate and turning him into a proper citizen. Besides, with his experience I’ll be able to better invest in my privateering venture.”
His father had scoffed when he first brought the idea up. It had been announced that the legendary pirate Blackbeard had claimed Act of Grace and was brought back to the Barbados. Under the new law he was to be married to someone who could tame the wild beast. Stede Bonnet had to admit he was all to eager to jump at the chance. He never been able to live up to his dream of becoming a pirate so he might as well marry one.
His father only relenting to his son’s decision due to the standing their family would gain with the king for doing this.
“I suppose you’re be all to eager to consummate your marriage with him.” Stede’s father laughed at the face his son made. “All to eager to jump at the chance to be with another man. Even when you were young I knew you were nothing but a flowery little fa-”
“Looks like we’re here.” Stede quickly interrupted his father as their carriage came to a stop in front of the state’s building. Not waiting for their servant to come around, Stede quickly exited the carriage. The sooner he was able to sign off on this and get away from his father’s ire, the better.
~~
“So I’m not supposed to eat this stuff? Then why did you make it taste so good?”
“It’s soap, you use it make yourself smell good.”
“Well now my breath smells good.”
Edward went to take another bite of the orange scented soap he’d been given when the woman assigned to help him clean up snatched it away.
“Hey!”
“No. No more eating soap, no more using forks to comb your beard and don’t you dare eat the bath salts, I’ve seen the way you were looking at them.”
“Well now I’m just confused.”
“Take your clothes off and get in the bath.” The woman gritted out. The look in her eyes was surprisingly terrifying and Edward complied. Shrugging off his leather clothes and hesitantly getting into the bath drawn for him.
“Fuck this is freezing.”
“It would’ve been warm if you didn’t take so long.” The woman hummed as she leaned over the man, grabbing an egg from a nearby stand and cracking it over his head. The former pirate was confused as she began to rub the yolk into his scalp.
“I didn’t know I was getting ready for dinner.” He joked.
“It’s to clean your hair. Gets all the dirt and grime out.” The woman rinsed the egg through his long hair before hands drifting to his beard.
“Hmmm, I’ll have to call the barber in. See what we can do about this.”
At first he wanted to protest. Can’t be Blackbeard without a beard. But he wasn’t Blackbeard. Not anymore.
~~
“This way Mr. Bonnet.” Stede was led through the halls by a young man in a naval uniform. The metaphorical butterflies in his stomach continued to flutter as he wondered what to expect. Would the man be angry about this arrangement? Incredulous? Or even worse…disappointed? Stede didn’t know if he could deal with that.
“Here we are.” The young man said as they came to the large wooden doors at the end of the hall. Pushing them open, Stede took a deep breath before he stepped into the room.
In the middle of the room stood a darker skinned man with salt and pepper hair. His face was clean shaven with light brown eyes staring down at the cuff of his blue suit, fiddling with the lace trim before he noticed Stede had entered.
“Oh hey.”
“Um, hello there.” Stede straightened up. “I’m sorry this must be the wrong room-I’m here to meet Blackbeard.”
“Well you found him.” The man stuck his hand out. “But you can call me Ed.”
“By the king’s Act of Grace, you Edward Teach renounce your pirating says and agree to become a part of upstanding society. Is this true Mr. Teach?”
The situation was not ideal. By all means, Blackbeard if he had lived up to his reputation would have gone down with his ship fighting. But Edward Teach was not Blackbeard. He hadn’t been for quite some time. Instead he was just a husk of a great man who had a death wish but couldn’t even bring himself to end it all like most of his ilk. He claimed an Act of Grace. His crew were all aghast, especially his first mate Izzy.
“You can’t fucking do this.” The man hissed to his captain. “You’re Blackbeard.” But Edward just shook his head.
“Mr. Teach, are you listening to me?” The judge asked, snapping the now former pirate back to the present.
“Er yes of of course. I agree with all that stuff.” He’d only been paying half attention during the whole process. They’d brought him back to the Barbados to process his claim. The judge and all of the other naval men around him stared at the man, eyes barring into the former legend. Just like Izzy and everyone else he met they were disappointed by the man who couldn’t possibly live up to the stories about him.
“Now you have two choices. Either you will join the naval academy and hunt down your own kind.”
Edward almost scoffed. So basically a pirate for the state but with more paperwork and white wigs?
“Or you can marry into better society and pursue a stable job under the eye of the government.”
That…actually sounded kind of nice. Not the government watching you but the settling down and getting married. Something he could have only hoped to do in the past. Technically he had been married once before but they were both teenagers and it had been annulled by the end of the next year.
“Well when you phrase it like that, I’ll have to go with the latter.”
Now the man had to wonder who would be stuck marrying him.
Pairing: Jung Hoseok/Reader Rating: G Warnings/tags: arranged marriage, historical AU, fluff Genre: Fluff Words: 1.9k Notes: Happy possumversary, @xjoonchildx ! I’m so thankful to have gotten to know you over the past few months. You’re one of the coolest and funniest people I’ve ever met and I’m so glad we’re friends. I loved writing this Hobi, and I hope you like him too!
It began as it always did: two nations, both on the edge of struggle, seeking a formal alliance to stabilize things for their populace. Sacrifices must be made for the good of the kingdom, after all.
You just weren’t sure why you were the one doing the sacrificing when it wasn’t your obsession with war that had gotten you into this situation.
These were the thoughts that occupied your mind as you sat in the carriage, staring out the window, half-listening to your mother rattling on about how the son of the neighbouring ruler was known to be kind and cheerful and would no doubt make an excellent husband. It wasn’t that you doubted her words; you simply didn’t care. Marriage didn’t interest you, and arranged marriage even less so.
ooooh i loved this! it felt equally complete and also like the beginning of a series (if you do so desire to write more!), which is a skill if you ask me. like, writing enough of the story to be satisfying, but also writing enough to keep a reader wanting just a little bit more. also, prince hoseok being all nice and handsome and chatty. swoon.
#1 - they actually share a deep friendship and they couldn’t have imagined how great it can be to be married to your best friend
#2 - they married out of convenience but one of them was in love with the other all the time
#3 - they have great mutual respect for each other because they know how much they depend on the other
#4 - they have never seen each other before the wedding day and know having to share every aspect of life poses quite the challenge (who knew marriage meant so much awkwardness?)
#5 - even though they only married out of convenience, Person A is very eager to still be a good spouse and tries remembering everything Person B likes and dislikes
#6 - they married out of convenience and even though, it takes them a while, they eventually fall deep for each other
#7 - Person A has to marry Person B because it is the wisest thing to do but his heart tells a different story and is secretly beating for Person C
#8 - they make the best team because they can leave the sentimentality out of it (or can they really?)
#9 - Person A has never found true love and decides a marriage of convenience is the best option left. Who thought that they’d find love there out of all places?
#10 - Person A is disappointed that it’s not like they imagined marriage to be while Person B doesn’t see the problem
A/N: SO. I’M ALIVE. I haven’t been much on Tumblr, but not on other social media either (unless it’s Twitter, I spend time there xD). As I said on earlier asks, I’m super busy with life itself and I haven’t been able to update anything here, but I’ll try my best to do so!
I’m currently writing chapter 7 and bOY IS IT CHARGED WITH TENSION. As if it wasn’t before with chapter 6… we go a step further B) I always feel so sorry for Eva and how I put her through tough and complicated moments… but it will all be worth it, my girl <3 just you wait.
I hope you like this one! I did it super fucking long because it had a lot to unpack, but as well as an apology for the lack of more continuous updates.
Still, feel free to ask about it anytime! Here on Tumblr or Twitter
Enjoy!!
CHAPTER 6: A CARING DEVIL
Eva couldn’t fall asleep at night.
She spent it tossing and turning, her guts twisting into tight and hurtful knots. Her eyes didn’t have any more tears left to shed and her stomach emptied everything that was in it. Flora had been by her side the entire time, giving her a soothing tea to drink, begging her to do so, and handing her a cloth to wipe her mouth with.
Somehow, amidst the pain and tears, Eva managed a restless, almost useless and brief shut-eye. The sun began to raise, signaling the start of the day with the rooster’s crow. She didn’t want to face the day. She couldn’t. Not when her tiny shred of happiness was ripped apart from her.
The feeling of emptiness froze her body, the thought of her brothers leaving, not knowing when would they see each other again, twisted the knife inside her guts further. Eva was not stupid, she knew this would have happened eventually, but not so sudden, so soon. She didn’t have time to mentally prepare for the fact that she was to be forgotten by Gottesreich, by Father. Eva thought her brothers would stay at least a week, help her settle, help her come to terms with the inevitable reality of her fate in Eldia, as the Chieftain’s wife, but they just got here. There were so many things she wanted to ask and talk about with Hans and Friederich, so many questions for Hans about how to understand her future husband, since he was already married to Emma.
It… it was not fair.
She instantly regretted that thought, Father’s angry eyes flashing in her mind. She was selfish, she was a spoiled brat, she—
“Princess?” Eva turned her head to Flora, who brought a basin with steaming water and another clean cloth. Her poor handmaiden had bags under her eyes too, like herself, and the guilt inside her deepened, feeling like a monster for burdening those she loved even further.
Flora did not even let her open her mouth, knowing what words would follow judging by the culpability etched in her expression. Flora swallowed a sigh, knowing that it would not help her friend, and gently sat down next to the disheveled Princess after leaving the basin on top of the nightstand. The handmaiden lifted her hand, softly tucking a stray strand of hair behind the Princess’ ear, cupping her face.
“You are strong, my Princess.”
“I am not, Flora. I’m–” a sob. “I don’t–”
Flora gathered Eva in her arms, shushing her like a mother would her child. Flora did have plenty of thoughts and opinions about King Nikolaus, and each one of them fed her displeasure for her King, living in the same walls opening her own eyes to his tyrany. How could he, first of all, do this to his own daughter? How could he demand for her brothers to drop her off here, in Eldia, in the middle of winter and then make them leave immediately after? Did he not care for his daughter’s wellbeing? Her successful integration? Life? Happiness–?
No. He did not.
Flora sadly had witnessed what his rage could accomplish, what his anger was capable of, even on his supposedly most loved ones. On his daughter. She never wanted to see what happened that day ever again. It wasn’t a secret– everyone feared King Nikolaus, but those living inside the Palace, more.
And no-one dared to go against his will.
“Eva,” Flora rocked them back and forth, hands stroking her arms and back. “You are strong. And capable. And lovable. I will be here for you, help you in any way I can. You have me, I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re stuck here with me and–”
“Even if it’s my duty as your handmaiden, I am also your friend. I’d go to the ends of Earth and face the gates of Hell with you.”
“But–” Eva peeled herself away from Flora, eyes red and puffy.
“So, what’s a tribe of demons going to do, huh?” Flora held her face with both her hands, making the Princess look directly at her. “I’ll exorcise them if I have to. Actually, I think I packed a copy of the Holy Scriptures somewhere…”
That won Flora a wet snort, smiling herself on making the Princess do the same.
“You will be alright, Eva.” Flora brought both their faces close, touching her forehead on the Princess’ as they used to do as children. “You will succeed and thrive.”
“With you by my side.”
“With me by your side. Always.”
She was not alright.
The cold from outside was laughable compared to what she felt inside her body.
Hans and Friederich had twin somber expressions and matching dark circles like their sister. Rage, ire and helplessness kept them awake, the first brother in a silent contemplation, and the second brother angrily muttering his opinions.
With each step she took towards her brothers Eva felt as if her weight had multiplied, as if she was sinking further and further into the snow. The Chief was already with them, accompanied by Moblit also, who was quickly translating Friederich’s angry Gottesreichan. The Chieftain nodded at his words, replying with that deep voice of his. Hans kept pinching the bridge of his nose, his brows in a permanent frown, as he joined the conversation too.
The four men turned around when they heard Eva and Flora’s footsteps, accompanied by Mike and Gelgar, the giant warrior making their presence officially known by saying some words in Eldian, saluting their Chief afterwards. Hans and Friederich’s gazes softened upon seeing their sister, knowing perfectly well how she was not handling this situation well, even if she tried to hide it, and just how unfair and opposed they were, too. Moblit’s brows knit in concern, already thinking to go and ask Hange for anything that could help the Princess calm down. Even the Chief let out a soft sigh, feeling sorry. Eva was too numb to notice it all.
Eva respectfully bowed to the men before her, forcing herself to wish them a good morning. It pained Hans and Friederich to see her sister fight with all her will the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment, forcing herself a timid, false smile that was undoubtedly a mask, her desolate gaze saying it all— she had always been an open book, something their father often scolded her for it. Hans hated it, hated him. Hans remembers how delighted he had been when their mother announced she was pregnant. Friederich too, although he wasn’t as conscious of what was happening due to his younger age, but it had been a source of happiness for the Royal Family. It had been one of the few times Father genuinely smiled. It all went to hell when their mother passed away during childbirth, casting an everlasting and somber shadow over the Royal Family. Hans remembers a brief source of hate towards his own sister for it, for taking away their mother from him, from them, but when he saw a tiny, chubby and defenseless baby crying for her mother, desperately craving a warm embrace, tiny hands grabbing his finger in a vice grip and instantly calming down, and how that baby grew into their small, tiny and innocent sister, a vivid image of their mother, he felt despicable. How could he have hated his sister? When she ran to him, smiling, showing him a pretty flower she found in the Palace Gardens? How could he have brushed off all her desperate attempts at some warmth from her own family? He felt like a heartless monster.
Hans only wanted to protect his sister.
To take her away from Father and his poisonous hands.
But, somehow, Father had managed to hurt her again, in the distance, as if it had been a very carefully crafted plan to still punish her for her “crime”. He always blamed it on the magical creatures Mother had been so fond of, but deep down blamed his own daughter, too. She just looked too much like her mother for his father to have done something about it. Instead, he took it out on her.
Miserable coward.
Both the Chieftain and Moblit took a few steps back, joining Mike and Gelgar and giving the royal siblings some privacy to say their farewells.
Hans opened his mouth to speak, to break that thick, suffocating silence between them all, but Eva beat him to it, as she always did.
“I hope you both have a safe and pleasant journey back home.” That fake, trembling smile on her lips. “Please be mindful of the ice and don’t linger much more here or the roads will get even more dangerous.” Hans knew Eva rehearsed those lines in her head, judging by the emotionless pitch in her voice, but still her voice was on the verge of breaking at some words. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll accomplish my duties as—”
“Eva, please.” Hans would describe himself as a proud man who never begged, like Friederich, but for her sister he would get on his knees, if needed. “Please, allow yourself to cry. To feel.”
“Brother, I should not, as it is expected of me as Princess of—”
“Bullshit!” Hans’ contained roar shocked Eva into silence. Friederich eyed his brother, ready to punch his own sibling for making her cry, like when they were kids, but silently agreed on his thoughts. “That is pure, utter bullshit. Please Eva, I am begging you, forget about Father, forget about the shit he fed you.” Eva’s scandalized gasp fuelled his words, even Flora looked up from her spot behind the Princess, eyeing incredulous at the outburst of the Crown Prince. He was right, though, but still shocking as the Crown Prince never lost his composure before.
“Brother—!”
“No! Can’t you see? Please, can’t you see the poison he fed you?” The sorrow behind his eyes clouded Eva’s resolve for a moment, but she couldn’t— wouldn’t—
“Poison? What pois— I cannot question my King, even less my Father—” Hans knew where her automatic, defensive stance came from. Who wouldn’t retreat to that blind shell she put herself in, after that day? After what their father forced her to retreat to? It was sickening to see how far his venom had spread.
“Eva,” Hans let out a defeated sigh. This was not the way he wanted to part from his sister, with spiteful and angry words. He willed himself to calm down. “I’m asking you this as your brother, as someone who loves you—” suddenly his vision started to blur. Shit. He was not ready, either. Would he be, though, in other circumstances? “Goddamnit.”
“Hans?” Eva timidly raised her hands, reaching out for her brother.
In a gesture completely out of protocol, throwing all their etiquette, all their propriety and formalities out to the wind, Hans took a step closer and hugged his sister in a bone-crushing, tight embrace. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to tell Eva, and they had run out of time. Who knew when he would be able to come visit his sister again, or just see her.
He may be dead before that.
Hans tightened his arms, trying to put all his feelings and thoughts into it, as if it could speak for him.
“I love you, I love you so much—” Hans’ broken voice shattered the valiant effort for Eva to not cry in front of her brothers, of the Chief, the village— it only helped her tears to flow freely down her cheeks, soaking the Gottesreichan winter cloak and his own cheeks and beard, trying to stifle her sobs. “Never forget that, you hear me? You are my sister and I love you so much—” Hans’ own wet whisper both broke and warmed her heart. Eva hugged him back, snuggling further into his embrace. “Please allow yourself happiness and—”
“Please write—” Eva’s own voice was coated with sadness and desperation, her face wet and blotchy from allowing herself to cry on his brother’s shoulder. “Please do it, please write to me, allow me this selfish request—”
“I will, I’ll send you letters. And Emma too—”
“Yes! Please—” Hans wetly chuckled.
“She likes to write, expect small novels for letters.”
“Better for me, I’ll answer with the same amount. Or more.”
Hans let go of her as his shoulders shook in amusement, his hands still holding her trembling arms.
“Good, she adores your handwriting.” Hans’ teary smile was contagious and Eva corresponded him with one of her own, swallowing down in an attempt to will her tears down.
“Expect mine too, Birdie.” Friederich sniffed, clearing his throat in an attempt to will his own tears away.
“Your illegible chicken scribbles?” Hans turned to their brother with his eyebrows raised, mocking, although his tear-streaked face lessened the effect.
“Oi!”
“It’s okay, I’ll love to pass my time here trying to decipher what you meant to tell me in your letters.”
“That’s a low blow, Blueberry.” A gasp.
“You’re low for using that nickname.”
Friederich snorted, a teary grin on his lips.
“I’m your brother, I can do what I want.”
“Tyrant.”
A Chuckle.
“Come here—” Friederich opened his arms too, Eva hesitant at first to comply, still scandalized at how they were all but proper, away from their supposed mannerisms coming from a royal status, but finally went and let herself be embraced by her own brother. Friederich sighed. “Eva, allow yourself to be happy, please.” he muttered into the shell of her ear.
“But I—”
“Please.” Friederich tightened his arms, too, as their brother did before. “Allow yourself things. Let Flora take care of you, hell, let Erwin take care of you—” at the name of her fiancé Eva visibly tensed, her fingers digging into his cloak. “He is a good man. Trust me, trust me and Hans on this.”
“How… how can you be so sure?” If Eva’s tone was slightly apprehensive and showed mistrust, Friederich did not comment on it, understanding the doubts she had.
Friederich let go of his sister, keeping his eyes focused on hers and his hands on her shoulders.
“We wouldn’t let you stay in his care if we didn’t.”
Eva looked down and away from his stare, wanting to believe his words, the Chief’s words, but a part of her inside was fearful the Chief fed them only lies, as Father said Eldians did.
Rarely did Father speak so spitefully of someone. Father often badmouthed about quite a lot of people, but never in such a violent, enraged way, which only fed Eva’s confusion as to why he would marry her off to an Eldian Demon. Father must have had a reason and she was not going to question it. It was not her place. She learned quickly not to trespass the line.
Friederich sighed.
“You will see the truth in our words, and the Chief’s ones, in time.
“I pray you are right.”
“Be strong, Eva. You will be safe here, okay? Everything will be alright.”
Eva intuited there was something else her brothers were not telling her, judging by the urgency of both her brother’s words into trying to reassure her of her safety and well-being. Was there a crusade Father wanted them to engage in? Some court matters she did not have the privilege to know or attend to? Was Gottesreich in danger? So many questions and no time. It only frustrated her further.
“I’ll try.” Eva knew she would try, but she didn’t believe in her strength.
Friederich’s lips pulled into a soft and small smile, his hands coming up to Eva’s face to wipe at the tears.
“I’ll miss your nagging because I ate dessert before the main dishes at the Palace.” Eva snorted, kicking a small amount of snow over Friederich’s boot.
“When you do, think of me telling you how much of an uncouth savage you are.”
Eva smiled sadly. She will miss those moments. The sibling bickering, the maids trying to hide their smiles, the cooks sneakily passing some freshly baked cookies underneath their doors…
Taking a deep breath and righting her posture, quickly wiping at her still teary eyes, the Princess walked back to where her handmaiden stood, trying to keep her composure in check this time.
“Flora,” the handmaiden stood straighter, looking back up again and at the Crown Prince. “Please take care of my sister, and yourself, too.”
“I will, Your Highness.” Flora bowed, quick. “Your sister will be in my care.”
“Then we will return home with a less heavier heart.” Friederich answered, smiling. Eva had never seen him like that before, that soft pull of his lips. “We entrust her to you, Flo.”
Flora nodded, trying to reassure her prince with a matching soft smile.
“I will do my best, Your Highness.”
Hans turned towards the Eldian warriors, where the Chieftain had patiently waited. The Eldians stepped closer, knowing it was the final moment. The Gottesreichan princes had to part soon.
“Chieftain Erwin,” Moblit began translating again. “Thank you for your warm welcome and honouring us with your people’s rich culture. We do not wish to part so soon, and hoped to experience more of it, but sadly we have been recalled in urgency by our father.” Hans had to make the public speech, had to keep appearances, but both him and Erwin had already talked. Privately, without prying ears. The next step of the plan was finally happening, the long awaited one. “Your hospitality made us feel at home in our short stay, and we hope both you and Princess Eva may find happiness with each other in this new step of your lives. We entrust our sister in your care, and we part knowing she will be in good hands.”
And safe.
And secure.
And away from the bloodshed.
The Chief bowed, solemnly, with his fist on his heart, and reciprocated Prince Hans’ words with his own. Both men exchanged a knowing gaze, shaking their hands firmly. Friederich was next, his hand squeezing the Eldian leader’s in a tight grip, trying to convey without Moblit’s help what he wanted to say.
Protect her, please.
The Chieftain nodded, knowing exactly what was going on inside the prince’s head, that fierce glare he was known for directed at him. Erwin matched his tightening fist, hoping it would suffice for now. Friederich seemed pleased enough, so he let go.
With one last look back at their sister, both Princes climbed into their carriages, the Gottesreichan soldiers holding their respective doors open and closing them with what for Eva was a deafening thud. The Eldian Chief’s voice roared over the slight breeze, addressing his own Eldian warriors who proudly puffed their chests out at the words of their leader. Before the drivers clicked their tongues to signal the horses to move, the Eldian warriors performed the eldian salute, proceeding then to escort the Gottesreichans all over their territory until they reached the border.
In a slow march, the soldiers, warriors and carriages started their journey back to Gottesreich.
Eva knew a piece of her happiness, of her own self, tore itself apart from her and parted along with her brothers. The Chief knew it too, looking at the carriages disappearing out of their sights as they followed the path outside the village. Flora knew she would have to use all her assets and tricks to keep her Princess’ spirits high enough to not fall into a deep and dark depression. She stepped closer to her, one hand tugging her own cloak closed and the the other one sneaking past her layers of clothing, as well as the Princess’, to intertwine their fingers, squeezing them in a silent show of support. Eva let her, squeezing them back as an answering thank you.
That dim, flickering fire Erwin saw inside the Princess, begging to grow, to be fed more wood so it could shine and warm as it should… blew out.
Erwin felt sorry for her. He truly did.
The only comfort he felt was that King Nikolaus would eventually pay.
Oh yes, he will.
A week had passed since her brother’s departure.
Eva hoped they arrived safely back home and also that Father would be in his most… merciful self possible. The warriors who parted to escort them were already back, and from what Eva could see, no setbacks had happened. That was good, Eva remembers the eldian roads to be scary, specially at night.
Their farewell still felt like a blunt, cold ache inside of her, dulling any uplifting moments she could have, and poisoning any positive thoughts. Like earlier.
Or yesterday.
Or any other day since her brothers left.
The Chieftain apparently had made it his mission to bring a gift to her everyday. It confused Eva, although the gifts were thoughtful in a way, surprising the Princess how the Chief found time to rack his brain and think of her, knowing how busy a leader could be. It puzzled her, not understanding why would he try to understand her, walk in her shoes— how many noblewomen and princesses had already complained to her about how their husbands did not care for them? Why was he being different? What was his ulterior motive?
He came every day to deliver them. Personally.
The first time the Chieftain came he had a beautiful bouquet of winter miracles mixed with other invernal flowers like purple pansies and crocus, freshly picked and exquisitely arranged. No doubt someone did it for him— Eva couldn’t fathom seeing the barbarian warrior do such a delicate job. Flora practically ran to find a vase in the guest house to put the flowers in, her eyes shining with that excitement Eva dreaded.
The Princess tried not to panic as she was left alone with the Chieftain, who awkwardly stood in the doorway waiting for Flora to come back. Eva held the huge bouquet in her hands, grateful to have them occupied; the tension was choking her. How she wished they spoke the same language, but then again, it spared her from small and meaningless chit-chat. But she had to do something, to be polite to her guest… although she was the guest herself. Well, not really, but—
Eva internally groaned.
Do something!
Eva looked around, still not entirely familiar with the guest house itself, and spotted the freshly brewed tea Flora just made for them both. Perfect. The Princess cleared her throat, catching the Chieftain’s attention, and part of her wished she didn’t— his blue eyes directed at her were such an intense shade she didn’t know how to feel about them yet. They were beautiful, yes, but— but now was not the time to think about them. The tea. Offer the tea.
The Princess held the bouquet with her arm and hand, sparing the other to point it towards the tea waiting to be served. Her eyes quickly shifted to its direction, emphasizing her silent offer with raised brows and a forced smile as she looked back to the Chief. The Chieftain’s gaze moved from her eyes towards the tea, shifting back to her, as if he had been in a daze. Was she being so unclear?
“Some tea, my Lord?” Eva wanted to smack herself. What part of her mind did not understand that the Chief did not speak Gottesreichan? It had been instinctual, but her mouth moved faster than her mind could comprehend the sheer stupidity she just did. Still, that seemed to snap the man out of it.
The Chief opened his mouth to say something, but, following the same train of thought as the Princess, refrained, since it would be futile too. He closed it, shifted on his feet and ultimately decided to shake his head, hoping it would suffice. It did, but didn’t lessen the awkwardness of the situation or the Princess’ tight, uncomfortable smile.
This was disastrous.
Thankfully, Flora returned with a vase she found in the kitchen, carefully setting it down on a nearby table. The handmaiden took the bouquet from the Princess’ hands, putting them inside the vase and rearranging some of the flowers that got moved with Flora’s fussing. They were truly beautiful.
Now Eva had her hands empty and didn’t know what to do with them. She almost grabbed her dress skirts, as she used to do as a child when she was nervous, but her governess had chastised her so often for it she refrained herself, opting instead to hold them together, one on top of the other, as she was taught. Composure, that was everything in court, to keep one’s composure. But back to the Chief, should she offer again? Offer something else? What could she even offer?
Flora’s return made the Chief right himself back up, his mouth pulled into a quick smile as he did the Eldian salute and bowed, taking this as his signal to leave the women be. He left without another word, almost as if he was in a hurry.
Both women watched, wordlessly and a bit confused, the Chief’s massive back disappear into the snowy day, closing the door after him.
Flora was the first to speak.
“What on earth have you done to the poor Chieftain?”
Eva was equally perplexed.
“I have no idea.”
The second gift was equally and painfully awkward. This time it was a small envelope, a single winter miracle resting on it and secured by the thread holding it all together. Eva opened it, willing her fingers not to tremble under the Chieftain’s gaze, joined today by Levi, and mindful to not tear the cloth wrapping it or wrinkle the winter miracle.
Inside the magnificently crafted wood box rested one of the most beautiful hairpins Eva ever saw. It was made from gold and deeper blue turquoise gemstones, shaped into a gold branch with leaves and flowers coming out of them, little pearls embedded in the flower’s center. It was impressive. Such attention to detail in the gold branch… the artisan who made this, engraving little tree lines to make it more realistic, as well as the flower stamens and leaf nerves, was a true master of the arts. Eva was speechless. Flora was the one who muffled a gasp.
It was known, besides their military prowess, that Eldia had been blessed with precious resources like gemstones and metals. Eva thought that was the main reason for their union, so Father could secure and establish a trading route, and for both countries to benefit from each other’s resources: Eldia from Gottesreich’s trading routes and Gottesreich from Eldia’s precious and sought materials.
This must have cost a fortune, dear Lord.
Eva felt her cheeks redden suddenly. Why on earth would he give her this? This… this was so much. Too much! She couldn’t accept this gift, but at the same time if she didn’t it would be a rude gesture, triggering bad relations at the very start of their life together. Her hands were tied. Damn it!
Still, Eva ventured a quick, bewildered look at the Chief. He seemed to nervously await her response at his present, fidgeting almost imperceptibly from one foot to another as he looked straight at her. The Princess fully turned to him with the closed wooden box squished on her heart, her other hand lifting her skirts in what she hoped was a bow that would speak for her gratitude. If she spoke right now, she would stammer. The Chieftain seemed pleased enough with the response, and as he denied the Princess offer for some tea, he and Levi exited the guest house, going back to their duties for the day.
Eva sat down as Flora squealed for her. She lost her voice.
The Princess did not fail to notice how the Chieftain’s chest puffed in pride at seeing his gift in use at dinner, Flora choosing a dress for Eva that matched the hairpin’s blue stone.
Thick and warm gloves with beautiful embroidery work followed next. A new brush made from perfectly polished silver and precious gems, the cedars perfectly trimmed, for the next day. An eldian perfume made of its characteristic and autochthonous flowers, accompanied by a fresher bouquet, the same one the Chief gave her the first day, for the fifth day. A porcelain cup set, magnificently painted, for the sixth. On the seventh day, the Chief gifted her some sort of eldian shawl, a beautiful dark blue dye with a tartan pattern —the same one the Chief wore on his sash— and fringes on the hems. A note in Gottesreichan, that Moblit undoubtedly wrote, explained how this was, indeed, a traditional eldian garment for the women, who wore this with an also traditional dress that the seamstresses were already working on, but they needed her measures first to ensure it would fit. The shawl was also used indoors, perfect to keep warm and move around the house.
Huh, this one was going to be useful.
Eva allowed herself to accept those gifts, a little bit touched that the Chief went out of his way this much for her. For her. It caused confusion in her mind, sometimes catching herself believing in her brother’s words.
He is a good man.
Maybe he was.
Trust me, trust me and Hans on this.
Maybe she will.
It was true that those gifts warmed her heart a little bit. Flora praised the new brush to the heavens, marveling on the soft bristles and how easy it was to handle it. The perfume was fresh and the scent of the flowers not too overwhelming or overpowering, like those noblewomen who wore those nose-clogging perfumes. The gloves were a lifesaver for her poor hands and the unforgiving cold of an eldian winter, silently thanking the Chieftain for them when he took her for a daily walk around the village, people stopping them to talk to the Chieftain and his fiancé. Eva could only look at the eldians with a smile on her face, not understanding a lick of what was being said.
Sometimes she caught the eldian leader looking at her with a different light in his eyes as she bent down to the children, letting them put flowers on her hair like the day of the hunting ritual, this time not faking her smile; Eva could never deny children, no matter where they came from.
The adaptation period wasn’t being… that bad, but still, it was bad. The Chief tried to lessen it by paying attention to her, taking her on walks, the gifts, showing her things from the village she understood half of due to the lack of knowledge from them both of each other’s languages. But still, he was relentless and tried to beat that language barrier.
The Chief gingerly invited her to drink in one of their daily walks, a hot beverage that smelt sweet and strong, and discovered it was some sort of spiced warm wine. At first Eva wrinkled her nose. Warm wine? But after her third sip, she welcomed the heat, the spice and the warmth it spread across her entire body. Eva’s heart softened when the Chief even invited some to her handmaiden too, glad he was quick enough to catch how important Flora was for the Princess, and how the poor girl needed something to warm her hands with. The Chief did not make any move or gesture to acknowledge how the Princess held his arm tighter, or how she began to walk closer to him out of her own volition. His lips pulled into a smile, though, when his nose picked up the perfume he gave her, as well as the hairpin.
But, Eva felt the ache in her heart deepen at night, or when she was reminded of little memories from back at the palace, or from lunch or dinner, missing her brothers harmlessly bickering as usual before Father appeared. If she was being honest with herself, in her most intimate and private thoughts, where she hoped God wouldn’t judge her for it… Eva did not miss Father’s presence, almost relieved of not feeling those judgmental and piercing gaze continuously glued in her nape.
Most of all, she missed her morning coffee.
Eva was dragged out of the comfort of her room here in Eldia by three very chatty and very bossy old ladies. They kept prattling non-stop, waving their hands and urging the Princess to tag along even though Eva still couldn’t understand a lick of Eldian. Eva looked back at Flora as she was being pushed through the door while getting her winter cloak draped on her shoulders, dread knotting on her guts as her handmaiden was forbidden to go with her, the three elder ladies gesturing and barking at her to stay.
The freezing breeze of winter hit her face, and Eva desperately wanted to go back inside and curl in front of the fire. The three elder women kept tugging at her sleeves, still chatting and gingerly walking, and Eva looked around the village to see if someone would save her from them and what they had planned. Sadly for her, the streets were deserted.
The sun was setting and there was an eerie air in the village that deeply unsettled Eva. Normally its residents would still be quite busy, like the bees in spring, but the whole village was… quiet. The few faces she saw looked at her with a solemn air in them, not harsh but unreadable; they kind of reminded her of the Chief’s own face. Maybe it was an Eldian trait?
Uneasiness kept filling Eva’s mind as she was taken further into the village, right to a very old but meticulously maintained house. It shared the similar markings on the front pillars and doors as the other houses in the village, but these ones had in the carved reliefs three women in them. Eva read what she could about Eldia in preparation for her life and duties here, and from what her books told her, Eldia had its own religion where they worshipped three Goddesses: Maria, Rose and Sina. It was confusing for Eva, always being taught about how her God was the only one, how there could not be more entities but him. The rest were only cheap imitations, as her father often said. God would provide and comfort, God would discipline and punish. Her father often spat about how they were a bunch of heretics, not only believing in three deities, but female deities, and now Eva found herself right in the middle of it because her father… needed her to do her duty both as his daughter and Princess of Gottesreich.
Sullen thoughts kept crossing her mind, the cold and dark of the sunset not helping. Eva was ushered inside the old house and hastily taken to an adjacent chamber where a steaming bathtub, made of the most magnificent wood Eva had ever seen, sat in the middle of it and ready to be used. It had beautiful runes carved into it, and the sweet fragrance of flowers assaulted her nose the moment she stepped into the room. There was a table next to the bathtub with all kinds of jars, mortars, herbs and clothes. The room was lit by raging torches and a fire, the crackle of the flames loud in her ears.
Impatient hands tugged at her cloak, pulling it off before Eva could react. One of the elders draped it over a chair, while the other two tugged at the strings and fastenings of Eva’s dress. The princess gasped, slapping the hands away and trying to free herself from their quick-tempered grasp.
“That is so uncalled for! Don’t touch me! No!”
One of the three women snapped at her with a quick string of Eldian words, shocking Eva at the fierceness displayed and the wrinkles between her brows deepening. The other two took advantage of Eva’s attention being on the most short-tempered of the three, and pulled at the strings before Eva could slap their hands again. Eva tried in vain to get away, and in the end they took off her dress entirely, leaving her in her undergarments.
The shorter of the three pointed to her undergarments and then to the bathtub. Eva shook her head. There was no way she would be naked in front of strangers, only Flora had that right, so they would not—
They took off her undergarments.
Before getting her into the steaming water, the three elders meticulously measured her with their hands, judging the firmness of her arms and legs, the shape of her body, and all the time talking to each other as if they were talking about the weather, humming and mumbling. Eva couldn’t believe this, couldn’t believe the treatment she was getting! She felt like livestock, being scrutinised to see which one was the best piece for a banquet, and gasped, outraged, when they touched her hips and inner thighs, undoubtedly talking about her ability to bear children based on the shape of her bones. She was rewarded with some frowns and concerned words, and felt slightly insulted that they thought she wouldn’t be able to do her job properly. They kept nodding to themselves as if this was completely normal. Eva slapped their hands away once again, furious, when they squeezed her flesh.
“Excuse me! That is enough! What do you think you are doing?” To hell with formalities and manners, this was humiliating! “Enough! Give me back my clothes!”
The elders puffed and rolled their eyes at her outburst, impatient to finish what they were tasked to do. Eva went to bend down and at least retrieve her undergarments, but the elders stopped her, grabbing her wrists and pointing to the bathtub.
“No! No way! I am clean, unlike–”
Eva ended up in the tub.
She wanted to cry. Eva had no idea of what was going on, and judging by the urgency of the elders to get her to comply with their demands, this was something that led to a major event. What did they have prepared for her this time? In the end Eva decided that it was best to do their bidding and let them work whatever it was they had to do on her. Eva felt her heart fall when they undid Flora’s intricate braids and let her hair loose; her handmaiden had done a magnificent job.
Everything quieted down once she was in the tub. The water had been filled with all kinds of flowers, which astounded Eva, knowing that it was almost impossible to see a flower bloom out of spring, and mixed them together with aromatic herbs. But she did recognise the Winter Miracles amongst the other flowers, recalling the children handing them to her. The smell was very pleasing, soothing even, and Eva almost got herself lost in the feeling of a comb brushing through her hair, detangling it with gentle strokes, while the three elders sang in surprisingly soft voices a song Eva did not recognise, as they all worked in tandem. The other two remaining elders were occupied with pressing sponges delicately onto Eva’s arms, letting the scented water cascade down her skin. Eva closed her eyes, lulled by the hypnotic sound of the fire and the three voices singing in harmony. Eva fell into a daze.
Eva was brought back to the present when the elders gently tapped her arm, signaling her to get up. They had soft-looking cloths ready to dry her off, and Eva carefully stepped out of the bathtub, mindful to not slip while at it; that would have been a really embarrassing and unfortunate accident.
The princess was thoroughly dried off, especially her hair; they were still very into the middle of an unforgiving winter and falling ill would be no good. The elders got Eva closer to the fireplace, making sure she stayed warm while they prepared the next step of what Eva assumed was a ritual of sorts. She still tried to cover herself up the best she could with her hands and strategically placed strands of hair, clearly uncomfortable at her nakedness; she had always been criticised and nitpicked by the governess his father hired, only sulling her own perception of her body. One of the elders had a tightly bound stick made of herbs with smoke coming out of it in her hand, while the other held a stone bowl in her hands. The third one had the softest-looking fabric Eva had ever seen in her life, neatly folded in her arms.
All three approached Eva, still singing and with their expressions serene. It was such a big contrast with how they were earlier, but Eva preferred calm rather than chaos.
The one with the burning stick passed the bundle of herbs around her, letting the smoke touch her as she chanted something in Eldian. She left it to keep burning in a separate bowl, the smoke curling up to the ceiling. That same elder took the stone bowl from the one in front of Eva, holding it for the woman to dip her fingers inside. The digits came out tinted blue, the same colour their warriors proudly wore on their skins, and Eva watched enraptured how those fingers kept getting closer and closer. Eva unconsciously took a step back, but the elder didn’t stop. The woman pushed aside the long strands of hair, and Eva knew this would be another losing battle for her if she refused to do as they wanted.
The paint was cold on her skin, raising goosebumps all over her body, and Eva felt the glide of the elder’s fingers smoothly paint her arms and legs, firm lines like the ones she saw on the Chief and other warriors’ arms. Then, the fingers hovered over her navel, the chanting reaching a beautiful harmony with the three voices. The elder moved her hand in a spiral, starting at the navel and going outwards, covering her belly. To finish it up, the fingers smudged triangles circling it.
The elder took a step back as the other two took her place. The one holding the bowl with the paint freed her hands by leaving it next to the burning sage, in turn taking a comb again and other things Eva didn’t catch to see. The other one with the white fabric in her hands approached her, letting the ends fall as she began draping it over her naked body.
Eva felt grateful to finally be covered, not enjoying one bit this humiliating endeavor. She zoned out, as she usually did back in Gottesreich when the maids dressed her, and Flora was not there to snap her out of it as usual. She felt a pang in her chest, missing her handmaiden and friend by her side. Flora always managed to get her to smile even in the worst situations.
The clinking of metal made her look to the source of it, seeing one of the elders holding a pair of beautiful and solid gold bracelets, and a jewelry headpiece with what looked like sapphires carefully shaped into drops. It was yet a simple but magnificent set, and for a moment Eva truly felt undeserving of wearing such beautiful craftsmanship. She didn’t do anything to gain the right to have such beautiful pieces on her body. They were surprisingly weightless, but they still felt heavy on her heart.
The three elders took a step back, admiring their handywork. A smile broke into their faces at the same time, nodding and murmuring in pride. For them, they did a marvelous job to get the Chief’s bride-to-be ready for tonight’s ceremony, and the three women were sure the Chief would be very pleased with their efforts and hard work. The Princess looked like one of them, out of her constricting clothes and hairstyle, and the three elders were sure their Goddesses would welcome their new child with open arms.
Three loud knocks on the door made the four women turn to look at it, Eva expecting someone to come in, but nobody stepped inside. She was relieved, still thoroughly embarrassed at the amount of skin she was showing due to the shape of the dress she was wearing (if Eva could consider a dress having two white pieces of silky-smooth fabric covering her breasts and most intimate parts of her body). The elders moved, grabbing their own cloaks and a new one for Eva. It looked much thicker and warmer than the one she came with from Gottesreich, and was styled in the same design and cut as the ones she saw the Eldians wear. Letting out a pleased sigh at being finally covered from head to toe, Eva was urged to put on some kind of sandal-looking shoes, which were so soft inside as if they were filled with fur, and go outside. She was not ready for what awaited her on the other side of the door.
Night had fallen quickly, as it always happened during winter, but the path they took earlier was now fully illuminated with torches, burning lively and lighting a beautiful sight.
The trail went deep into the village, going up the path that led into the mountain. The entire village of Eldia stood proudly next to the torches with ceremonial spears on their hands. The fire casted a warm glow on the villager’s faces and bodies, showing their solemn stance. The villagers were all wearing a distinctive set of clothes where the men had their chest naked and the women weren’t afraid to show skin either, with fabric styled in a similar fashion as hers. It was vastly different from the thick tunics and leather belts they usually wore, leaving an impression on Eva that they were some sort of ceremonial clothes. The villagers still had their cloaks on to shield themselves from the winter cold, though, and Eva felt a relief in knowing they weren’t completely unfeeling of the weather conditions.
But in front of them, waiting at the very end of the steps of the sanctuary, stood four hooded figures. They patiently waited, not moving an inch, and Eva’s eyes widened at the realisation of what those protruding sticks peeking from under the hoods were. It was the unmistakable shape of stag horns, and soon realised the four hooded figures were indeed wearing stag skulls, carefully painted with the same patterns and drawings as her own body had been marked with. The light of the torches accentuated the deep grooves and indentations of the skulls, and casted a terrifying shadow on the ground that only helped fuel Eva’s fear. The eerie silence didn’t help either.
The one in the middle had a drum, and the sound of it snapped Eva out of her thoughts, signaling the beginning of what was about to happen. The four hooded figures turned and waited.
The elders pushed Eva forward, signaling to follow them. Eva unwillingly did so, grasping the hem of her cloak as she began to descend the steps to the ground. The path had been meticulously cleared of snow, but the flakes began to fall again, leaving wet spots on the ground. The elders trailed behind Eva, two of them flanking her as the third one stood behind the princess.
I did this little thing from my arranged marriage!AU (you can find it and the link to AO3 in the tags!) with Princess!Eva and Chieftain!Erwin having a moment when they say farewell to each other, Erwin and his warriors about to go into battle.
Look I love me some old romantic clichés >_>
But I just love the raw intimacy of desperate, heartfelt goodbyes, needing to touch and reassure they will come back safe, to come back home.
This will probably happen in future chapters xD but I was itching to draw this so bad. I’m rewriting chapter 6 because I’m an idiot who got an idea that fits way better. WELP. Please be patient I’ll try to update asap! :_)
(Also, that crown was a pain in the ass to do but BOY AM I PROUD OF IT)
Rating: Mature (the rating will go up as the story advances! But it will totally be explicit ;D I even have some smut chapters already half written woooo! But right now just in case)
Warnings: None for now, but sexist and misogynist upbringing (Eva’s father is a huge asshole).
A/N:Jesus Christ this month has destroyed me. A lot is going on, I had 0 time to write and I managed to do a bit when I had 5 minutes to sit my ass down. At least Patreon is working good enough!
But the plot thickens! There are a lot of “AHHH THEY TOUCHED” moments that had me screaming, and I’m so sorry for putting Eva through all this… but it will be worth it in the end! C'mon girl, you will get through it
CHAPTER 5: OLD FOREST OF THE ANCIENT GODS
There was not a cloud in sight, an unwavering blue sky greeting them as they passed through the village’s main gates. Although pale, the sun shone bright, even if it did not warm as it should.
Still, Eva did not feel the cold.
How could she? Even through her winter cloak and thick winter dress, Eva could feel the warmth the Chief irradiated. Like a well fed furnace. Constant. Blazing. Comforting…
No, no, no. She could not be thinking about that. Where did her proper manners go? She tried to maintain as much distance between their bodies as possible, not believing how they were… touching, something completely unthinkable back home. In Gottesreich it wouldn’t be until their wedding day where they could leisurelyhold hands and become more intimate. But in Eldia? Not even a day and she was riding on the same horse! Astride!
Her riding teacher would be spitting fire at the sight, like those dragons from her books and legends.
But the Princess’s efforts to put some distance were in vain. The horse’s movement and stony path made Eva often fall back into the Chieftain’s chest, much to her dismay. Feeling the Chief’s shoulders slightly shake in amusement, at least trying to conceal it and not make Eva more self-conscious than she was, at her gasps when their bodies collided, made her even more vexed than she already was.
Her behaviour was being so improper! And he wasn’thelping.
The Princess tried to keep her mind out of this inconvenient situation by looking at the beautiful scenery in front of her. Yesterday she found it worthy of a painting done by the best court artists, even if she marvelled at it from inside her carriage and the caged view it provided, but now that she had the entire sight for her eyes to feast on? Breathtaking.
The pure white from the snow looked like an immaculate mantle, as if the softest of silks were draped over the entire expanse of land that it touched. The faraway mountains, covered in snow also, reminded her of those sweets from back home the cooks baked for her, the tops powdered with sugar. Eva spotted smoke coming out of the scattered farm houses chimneys, getting lost in the sky, and for a moment wished she could be there, enjoying the warmth of a fire.
Beautiful, calm, serene, elegant. That’s what this view told her. Blissful peacefulness.
It was contagious, and the stillness of the fallen snow lulled Eva into a sense of tranquillity. The Princess came to the conclusion that it was better and easier to accept that she will have to endure an entire ride on the Chief’s stallion mercy. Closeness included.
They kept a relaxed pace, not rushing the animals and being careful of the frozen puddles on the road. Back in Gottesreich, Flora would already have started to hum a song as they watched the scenery from inside their carriage, Eva eventually joining her and following the rhythm with their tapping feet. Eva caught herself just in time before she let out the first note, too enraptured with her own thoughts and memories and the rocking of the horse too, to notice how she was taking a deep chilly breath.
The Chief noticed the change of her posture, going rigid again, and the huge exhale of air she let out, trying in vain to conceal it. The eldian warrior misinterpreted it as the Princess getting bored out of her mind, and frowned, thinking about ways to entertain her. What could he do? He’d love to ask about a million topics, if they shared the same language; Erwin had always possessed a curious and inquisitive mind, and vividly remembers having his big nose buried in one of his father’s books. He still does, when he is able. But speaking leisurely with the Princess would come… he hoped. Preparations had already begun for it. But what else could he— ah! That might work.
Eva was startled by the Chief’s gentle tapping of his fingers on her arm, discreetly asking for her attention. The Princess saw the Chief’s massive arm cover her right side view, following his outstretched arm to where his finger was pointing at. Eva willfully avoided the thought of how their bodies were practically glued together, feeling his rumbling chest as he purred out some eldian words in her ear— at least for Eva, he waspurring out words in the shell of her ear, low enough for only them to hear it, just shy of a murmur. His voice had no right to sound that way, this close. Is this what awaited her, every day, for the rest of her life?
The Chief watched the tips of her ears reddening up further, knowing it was not the cold this time. Woops.He had to remind himself of how different their body languages were in their own respective cultures.
But Eva did look to where the Eldian Chief was pointing over, scrunching slightly her eyes and— oh!
“Cows!”
A smile found her lips upon seeing the gentle animals strolling around. Eva noticed how they were a different breed from what she was used to, just like the horses. Eva knew all the gottesreichan breeds, as she had been taught in her lessons, and had never seen the Eldian breed before even though she had read about it. They were absolutely adorable with the long coat of fur over their bodies, even when the long hairs covered their eyes, a beautiful mirage of black and honey brown over the snow. It still amazed the Princess how that breed of cows had such big horns.
Eva couldn’t tear her gaze away from them, transfixed. She did not notice the Chief discreetly looking at her, pleased he managed to communicate without words and show her something. He also found her smile beautiful— her brothers weren’t lying. Erwin’s eyes also found themselves with the expanse of her neck at his viewing pleasure, unguarded, soft, long, little hairs falling out of the perfect up braid and bun… it looked kissable.
No! No. Erwin, no.
Allthis had a meaning. A purpose. They had a plan and Erwin would carry it to perfection. No distractions allowed. Erwin made a promise to her brothers, had a deal, and whatever stray thoughts a lonely man had, would stay sealed deep inside.
Maybe if things had been different… If they had met in another way.
The Chief teared his eyes away, looking straight ahead with intent. Eva kept looking at the beautiful cows, wishing she could pet them and stop time for a moment.
It wasn’t too long until they reached the forest’s entrance, leaving behind the few scattered houses and their fields and cattle. Two massive obelisks, made of old and robust wood, marked the entrance. They had the same carved markings, or at least quite similar, as the ones from back in the village’s houses and Great Hall. The obelisks looked like they were put there a long, long time ago, judging by the rugged and chipped wood, the paint having washed and fallen off, only a few remains visible still, an ashen tone around the grooves and the moss covering them all over. They truly looked ancient.
The Chief led them through the obelisks, entering the forest. The path was wide enough that two horses could ride next to the other with more than enough space, even three in a more narrow fit, but the Chief rode first and alone, with everyone else following behind. The forest was quiet besides the sounds of birds and the horse’s hooves thudding on the snow, as well as the wooden cart creaking its way into the woods. Everything was covered in thick layers of snow, even the bushes from where the trees allowed the sky to show. The path was marked with short wooden stakes spread out unevenly along its sides, as if they had been an afterthought, deeply embedded into the ground. Some fell, others remained askew and bent or broken from nature itself.
They kept venturing further into the forest’s path, carefully avoiding fallen branches. Eva marvelled at the frondosity of the forest, as well as the massive sizes some trees had. The deeper they went, the bigger the trees grew in size and girth, as if nobody dared to disturb them for centuries. This was an old forest, for sure. Everything about it screamed ancient, that it had seen the rise and fall of many kingdoms. The thought of it made Eva feel as if she only was a small, brief being on this earth. A blink.
For a moment, still reflecting these feelings, Eva thought about how stupid wars were, when humans just had such a short period of time to be alive. Shouldn’t everyone be spending it by being happy? Rejoicing in life itself? Eva shivered, feeling tiny. Useless.
That’s when the Chief surprised her once again, feeling the hood of her winter cloak lift itself from her shoulders and be carefully set on her head, mindful of her braids and flowers. Then, he pulled his own open eldian cloak around them both, successfully sheltering the Princess.
Eva wanted to scream.
Instead, a gasp escaped her mouth.
This was scandalous! Eva found herself at the total mercy of the Chief’s whims and she was not happy about it, no escape, no way to put distance. Did he want a feel of what awaited him, behind closed doors once they were married? Was this a way to intimidate her? Show her how powerless, useless she was in his hands? The Princess wanted to bolt right out of the warm cocoon, as she reluctantly had to admit, she found herself in.
Don’t cause a scene, like a vulgar wench.
Her father’s voice echoed in her mind.
Are you a vulgar wench?
Cold eyes.
I didn’t think so. You are a princess, vulgarity is out of the question for someone like you.
Lips pulled down in a grimace.
Don’t bring a crude, disgusting attitude into this sacred Kingdom.
Nose flaring.
I will give you a reason to cr–
Eva cried for the entire day.
Deep breaths. That’s what she needed to do when she felt her chest squeeze itself in. Deep breaths. Think of your surroundings, what was there to see? Focus on it, what can you see?
I can see trees. I can see branches covered in snow. I can see the horse’s ears. I can see the path dividing into two. I can see a giant, leafless oak tree in the middle of the split path. I can see–
A blue glow flickered behind the thick and mossy tree trunks on her left. It was faint but powerful enough to be seen in daylight, and caught the Princess’ undivided attention. The glow of the light was gentle, placid, like the tender caress of the moon’s light on a starry night. Eva couldn’t help but to stare at it, transfixed, wanting to know what was the source of it. It was a beautiful light.
The faint blue glow slowly followed their pace, shining unsteadily as it went through the massive expanse of trees and bushes. Eva narrowed her eyes, trying desperately to see what that silhouette was. By the way it moved, it looked like a four-legged animal, like a horse or a deer.
Did nobody else see this?
Eva ventured a quick glance sideways towards the Chief, but his head was staring straight ahead, as if the glow was invisible to him.
Upon scrunching her sight further, the Princess realised it was a stag. An enormousstag. The antlers were unnaturally big, twisting and bending on themselves, forming a quite frightening shape.
What, in God’s name, was that.
The outlandish creature silently followed them, not making a single sound. Eva could only hear the hooves of their horses, some of them huffing, the cart creaking, the birds tweeting…
The stag suddenly stopped. Eva couldn’t stop staring, although something kept her on edge. Her grip on the Chief’s stallion crest and the saddle’s horn tightened, feeling the fabric of her gloves crack under the strain.
Eva just blinked once.
It was a flash, quick as lightning.
The stag had turned its head towards the Princess, and she could feel its gaze focused on her. The Princess held her breath, uneasiness gnawing every fibre of her body.
Eva blinked again.
Those eyes flashed in her mind. Big. Opaque. Dark blue.
Another blink.
Eva felt as if the creature charged towards her.
A strangled gasp escaped her lips, unconsciously throwing herself back in fear, hands grasping whatever was within reach, squeezing hard.
Blink.
The stag was gone.
The Chief quickly grabbed the Princess’ falling body, pulling her against him and wrapping his arms around her as the Chief hurriedly pulled the reins to stop his horse. The rest of the group did the same, stopping immediately upon seeing and hearing the ruckus. The Chief heard some of the men dismount, footsteps thudding on the snow. The Princess was frightened, as if something spook her on that side of the woods, and without thinking twice, the Chief moved her so she sat on her side, instead of astride the horse. Eva let him, pressing herself against his body, unaware of the hood falling from her head and some of the flowers falling down or getting crushed on the Chief’s chest. This way he could easily shield her of whatever danger may lurk behind the bushes and tree trunks. The Eldian leader looked at the point where the Princess had been staring, trying to find the source of it.
Nothing.
Levi appeared on his left side, his hands already on the hilt of his sword. He threw a questioning look to him, then glanced quickly at the Princess. Her face was pale. Levi frowned. The Chief answered him, nodding towards the woods as he spoke. Levi turned to face the same spot he was referring to, trying to see what scared the Gottesreichan Princess.
Nothing.
Prince Hans and Moblit approached them too, with Moblit asking his Chieftain what happened for them to suddenly stop. The Eldian leader told the same he did with Levi, and asked if the Crown Prince could help in inquiring further about it to his sister. Prince Hans nodded, slowly approaching them and gently placing his gloved hand on his sister’s ankle.
“Eva?”
Eva managed to rip her gaze away from the exact spot where the stag stood, looking down at her brother. The way her eyes were wide open concerned the prince.
“Did something happen?”
“T-there was– Big horns, it ran, it was– i-it stared at me and then it–”
“Eva, darling, breathe. Calm down, what was that you saw?”
Eva took a deep breath, gulped down the knot in her throat.
“I-I don’t know, I don’t know–”
“Did you say horns, your Highness?”
“I–” Eva’s eyes went from Moblit, to Hans and then to Levi, and the Chief too, all of them waiting for her response. Their awaiting gazes felt like hands squeezing her lungs and brains. The Chief’s thumb trying to reassure her felt scorching hot.
…Don’t cause a scene, like a–
She was causing a scene. She stopped the entire party because she got frightened over a… a stupid halucination, because her mind played tricks on her, for sure. Eva heard stress could do that to oneself, because that thing could not be real. And she wasstressed.
Yes, it had to be that. No mystical stags with massive antlers.
The three men saw how the Princess forced herself to compose and gather her wits as if a spell had been casted on her, as if she had not lurched back and almost fell in a terrified mess. A mask devoid of feelings. Hans knew who forced that “magic trick” on her, and clenched his jaw in anger.
With a fake smile, the Princess spoke, trying to control the quivering in her voice and desperately pushing away the image of the stag’s antlers charging at her.
“My deepest apologies for making such a ridiculous and nonsensical scene, my Lords.” You must think of me as a fragile, spoiled, useless– “It was not my intention to make the horses stop. I must have seen a branch moved by the wind or a wild animal.” Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Prince Hans was not buying it. He knew his sister, practically raised her, because Father’s “efforts” couldn’t be called parenting, so he perfectly knew when she was spitting out massive amounts of bullshit. But he waited until Moblit translated and the Eldian warriors nodded in acknowledgement, going back to their horses and away from Moblit’s earshot, to speak again to his sister.
“Eva,” he briefly squeezed his hand on her boot, catching her attention. “Tell us later what you saw, okay?”
“I didn’t–”
“Eva.” she involuntarily flinched, and Hans wanted to kick himself; he was often reminded how he looked like Father when he was angry, and he hated it. The Chief’s icy glare directed at him made the sentiment grow. “Eva, I’m not mad, I’m concerned. We cannot protect you if we don’t know what we are fighting against.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a bother as I am right now.”
“You are not being a bother, Eva. Don’t apologise for that.”
“I’m sorry– ouch!”
Hans flicked his finger on her knee.
“Stop saying sorry, you have nothing to apologise for.” Hans replied. Eva had unclenched one of her hands to rub her knee, pouting, and that made the Crown Prince let out an amused huff. “C’mon, we will talk later.”
“Okay.” Hans was relieved to see his sister’s soft smile timidly appear.
The Chief waited until everyone got back to their horses before he resumed the pace. He kept glancing to where the Princess had spotted something, and upon looking ahead to guide his horse, he recalled the legends and myths surrounding the Eldian woods, and in particular this area with the leafless oak tree.
This particular forest was known for the spirits inhabiting it, sometimes showing themselves. Maybe it was the first time the Princess encountered one, considering her Kingdom’s policy on magical creatures. He would need Hange and Moblit to explain the spiritual world further to her, knowing they were the true experts.
As they reached the bifurcation of the path, the Eldian leader led them to the right, leaving the oak tree behind and lining up to cross the river’s bridge. They were close to their destination, that enormous glade just after the river, where they could set the tent and lit a bonfire to shelter the ritual testimonies and his future bride from the cold.
His future bride.
Erwin looked down, searching for her face. He found the Princess still deep in thought, her gaze lost.
He would really have to inquire further about it, dissipate any fears about the woods to her. Spirits were not evil, curious and mischievous yes, but the forest’s deities were good-natured, amiable.
The Chief still had his arm wrapped around her body, his hand resting on her abdomen, reassuring, as they continued their journey, and he had no intention to take it back. Eva let him, needing to feel secure after her encounter with the glowing stag. The Chief knew she was still trembling in fear, and made no comment or movement of how her own hand was clutching his tunic, or how she curled up further, not wanting to look out at the woods again.
It was a silent message, clear as crystalline water.
Help me, I’m scared.
And when the Chief gently squeezed his hand, pulling her closer, if that was even possible, answered her silent cry.
I’ll protect you.
The Princess believed it as she still felt those dark blue eyes glued to the back of her head as they left behind the oak tree.
They arrived at their destination without any further incidents. The eldian warriors got off their horses first, already taking everything they needed from the cart to set a quick tent to protect their guests from the unforgiving eldian winter and cold. The Chief stopped his horse in the flattest surface he could see, and gracefully dismounted without first guiding the Princess’ right hand on the horn, then the left on the cantle when he had his foot on the stirrup and was facing her, so she wouldn’t fall when he moved down. Once happy the Princess was secure, the Chief’s feet thudded into a soft grass bed covered in a thick layer of snow.
The Chief looked down, seeing his own worn boots sunken in the snow. Nobody had disturbed that snowfall, maybe some animals, but it had accumulated from the past weeks of snowy days and nights. He then looked at the Princess’ feet, and doubted the Princess’ boots would be thick enough for the forest snow; if it covered half his foot, then it would surely reach her ankles easily, recalling how small she was compared to him on last night’s banquet dance.
His feet moved on their own, pushing and shoving the snow away to make a clear spot for her to stand on without wetting the thin leather; he would need to talk to the shoemakers of the village, and seamstresses and tailors also, to make some appropriate Eldian winter clothes for her, or else the Princess wouldn’t last a week without falling ill. Erwin had no doubts about Hange’s healing skills, but he was sure Friederich wouldn’t be pleased, to say it mildly.
Once he was satisfied and saw the deep green of the wet grass, Erwin looked up, finding the Princess staring at him and being caught red handed. The Princess quickly averted her gaze, embarrassed at her lack of decorum, and Erwin saw how her cheeks and ears flushed quite prominently. He tried to quell her anxiousness with a smile, moving closer to her and grabbing the stirrup so she could set her right heel on it, trying to make clear to her that he didn’t take it as an offense. The Princess let the Chief guide her, unconsciously tightening her grip on the horn of the saddle when the Eldian leader gently took her leather-clad ankle and made her put it on the stirrup. The Princess was reminded, once again, how massive this man was.
The Chief raised his left hand, signaling her to take it. Once she did, timidly posing her hand on his, and thinking he would only aid her to not fall flat on her face, the Chief surprised her by gently tugging her hand forward, on top of his shoulder, and making her body inevitably fall forward. Eva’s other hand had shooted onwards, joining the other on his opposite shoulder. The Princess let out a tiny gasp when she felt both the gravity do its job and the Chief’s hands grasp her waist, easily picking her up like she did on the banquet’s dance from last night, and easing her down on her feet right on the spot he cleared earlier. The Chief watched the flurry of skirts and cloak flow as she landed, reminding him of the summer snowflakes that bloomed in Spring. Even in her unfamiliarity of her environment, the Chief thought of her unconscious gracefulness elegant.
She really was small.
His hands felt like they were a perfect fit.
The clearing of someone’s throat brought them both back to the present, their little bubble being popped off. They both turned to see Levi impatiently waiting with his arms crossed, and in the distance, the Chief could see Friederich’s stare hurling dagger after dagger at him. Throwing an apologetic smile towards the Prince, because he knew it would be useless on his friend, the Chief let go of her waist as the Princess hurriedly withdrew her hands from his shoulders, as if she had been burned. Levi said something to the Chief, which he answered with his usual smile and cheeky retorts that made Levi want to smack him.
Both eldians kept talking while Levi walked towards the Chief’s horse, taking the reins and tugging the enormous beast with him, leaving the Chief to deal with the Princess. Said man turned to her, offering his arm like he did back at the village. Eva tightened her closed fists before forcing herself to unclench them, accepting the Chief’s invitation and letting him guide her back to the rest of the party.
Flora was already inside the tent, a dusting of red on her cheeks too as she helped ready the wooden folding stools, putting thick pelts on the stool’s fabric seat. Nanaba was fanning the beginnings of a fire, while Mike helped her by setting more logs nearby for when they would be needed, and making sure the smoke vent opening of the tent was secure and working. There was a table with various objects laid in it, going from bowls to sage sticks, a dark powder and other items that were going to be used shortly, to a bow and a quiver full of arrows. Moblit was conversing with Prince Hans, seemingly talking about the Eldian tent and how it worked, comparing it with the Gottesreichan ones. Friederich tagged along, but was absolutely ignoring the conversation in favour of watching the Chief and his sister come inside.
The Eldian warriors saluted their Chief and went back to their chores and preparations. Moblit took the cue to lead the Gottesreichan princes to their Chief, awaiting his leader’s signal to proceed with the marital ritual. They all waited until every single one of the preparations were done, so there would be no disturbances from now on.
Moblit explained the next step of the ritual, mindful to describe and illustrate each stage of it so it was clear to everyone and didn’t lead to any misunderstandings. Eva shivered at the mention of blood, not being very keen at the sight of it. From her culture’s perspective, this was truly barbaric. What did Father get her into? As Moblit finished, they began the ritual, not wanting to delay it further and kept exposing the Gottesreichan guests to the cold.
First, we must cleanse the betrothed of negative energy.
Nanaba took her cue, as one of the village’s priestesses, and walked to the table, taking the sage stick with her. She approached the fire and let the tip of the sage stick ignite, blowing on the flame so it would burn slowly. The smoke from the stick began to float around the tent, it’s minty scent reaching everyone present in it. The eldian warrior moved to where the Chief and the Princess stood, gently commanding them to stand in the proper way, with both their hands clasped together and facing each other. Eva’s heart made a leap, wanting to get out of her mouth at the closeness for the tenth time this day. What was it with Eldians and their need for… for proximity?!
This was not like the dance, where they parted quickly to follow the music. The Princess had to endure looking at those intense blue eyes, gazing back at her, and fight every single fibre of her being to not flee and hide herself behind a tree or anythingthat managed to conceal her. His stare was unnerving, not because he was looking at her in any unsolicited way, but because she was not used at all to look into a man’s eyes, sans her brothers, and now she had to.
Nanaba lifted the stick, the smoke following her movements and leaving a mystical trail behind it. She began speaking and chanting in Eldian with a beautiful and soft voice, reminiscing Eva of a gentle lullaby sung by doting mothers. Nanaba’s lips had a kind smile painted on them as she kept chanting and passing the burning sage around and between them. Every Eldian warrior present in the tent slowly joined in, their voices harmonically blending together. It was beautiful, otherworldly but enchanting in a magical way. Eva felt her tense shoulders slightly relax as the voices soothed her anxiety.
Flora looked mesmerised at the cleansing ritual. Back home this would be straight out heresy and sin, any sort of witchcraft more than strictly prohibited; it’s penalty was death. But it was impossible to look away, it bewitched you to maintain your gaze on it as if two hands gently guided your gaze and didn’t let go. The handmaiden didn’t have to look at her side to see the Princes being transfixed as she was, she knew. Who could look away from it?
As the chanting came to an end, slowly, kindly as before, the voices quieted down as Nanaba held the sage stick above their heads, closing her eyes with the finishing Eldian words. The Gottesreichan guests felt the immense urge to erupt into applause, almost feeling unworthy of having witnessed something so unique and private to their culture. Nanaba stepped back, leaving the burning sage to keep letting out its smoke in a stone plate as she prepared the next stage of the ritual.
Once cleansed, the bride must paint her groom’s ancestors marks to honour his name and household, so he may enter the challenge bearing his warrior’s marks.
Nanaba took a bowl and started mixing water, oil and the powder that had been carefully set before inside a leather pouch. With expert movements, she created the paint used for their body paintings and markings, that deep and rich blue Eva had seen on the warriors and the Chief upon arriving on Eldia. The paint looked thick as Nanaba lifted the stone pestle from the mortar, watching the blue liquid drip down.
The warrior took the mortar, leaving the pestle on the table on top of a cloth, and walked back to the Chief and the Princess. She was smiling at them both, giving Eva an air of tranquility and peace with her gentle movements and soft expression. Nanaba held the mortar in her hands, holding it a bit higher so the Princess had it easier to dip her fingers in. The Chief let go of her hands and Eva took them back, not wanting to think about his warmth. The Princess busied herself by taking off her gloves, the tips of her ears turning red in embarrassment when one of the gloves got stuck at a finger, her trembling hands not helping her one bit. Both Nanaba and the Chief waited patiently, not giving any signals of annoyance or disdain for her clumsiness, as she would have expected from Father. Finally, she got rid of the stupid glove, and before she had to turn back to look for a surface to leave them on, her handmaiden took the initiative and stepped forward, hoping she wasn’t intruding much into the ritual. Flora took the gloves in silence, far gone was her cheery and cheeky smile, replaced by a solemn and serious expression. Flora stepped back into her place beside the Gottesreichan Princes, carefully holding the expensive gloves in her hands.
Nanaba presented the mortar and Eva couldn’t be more lost than she was right now. She had to draw the warrior’s ancestor’s mark, but she had absolutely no idea what those were. The paintings he had yesterday on the Great Hall’s stairs? A stripe? Dots? Hand print? Eva looked at the mortar as if it held all the answers to her questions, desperately hoping it provided an answer… but it was just a stone mortar. Nanaba’s eyes widened in realisation, and caught the Princess’ attention by letting go of the mortar with one hand and lifting it to her own face. Eva stared at her fingers as they mimicked the lines she had to draw on the Chief’s face. Nanaba could see her relieved and profoundly thankful face, and was relieved herself too as it would have been quite disastrous and insightful of her to assume she would know them. Nanaba presented the mortar again and this time Eva lifted her own trembling hand to dip her fingers into the paint.
It was cold and thick, and undoubtedly got under her nails –Flora wouldn’t be pleased about that– but still, Eva let her fingers thoroughly dip into it, preparing herself mentally for having to touch the Chief herself. But, there was another problem.
He was too damn tall.
Eva couldn’t reach his face without struggling to do so, straining her arms and body to reach him more easily, so she did not know how to ask the Chief to bend slightly down, so she wouldn’t make an embarrassing mess of the job. Eva still had her fingers inside the mortar, debating herself how to do it without dripping excessive paint on the floor and on their own clothes. Taking a deep breath, Eva decided to try her luck. Lifting her fingers, she let the excess of paint drop back down into the mortar, moving them out of it when she deemed it safe enough.
The Chief didn’t stop gazing at her the entire time, patiently awaiting and enduring the ritual, and it only fueled her own nerves. What would he think of her if she made a disastrous mess? No! No, don’t let those thoughts in now, concentrate. Eva unconsciously bit her bottom lip, trying to quell the knots in her stomach, and completely obviated the way the Chief’s eyes quickly shifted down and back up. As she predicted, the Princess had trouble reaching his face, and inevitably watched a drop run down her hand and fall down, hitting his boot. Eva gasped, lurching back her hand and feeling her throat squeeze in itself. Oh no, no no no– this was terrible, catastrophic!Eva felt her lungs run out of air as her throat kept squeezing itself, feeling how her eyes stung and began to gather unshed tears.
Eva screwed up, she screwed it up badly. Was the stain permanent? Could she ask Flora for help in how to remove it? The Princess did not dare to look up at the Chief, knowing this would only end in punishment. Eva only hoped the Chief would be merciful to some extent, knowing she would have to pay for ruining his boots. Oh dear, this was bad. So bad. She couldn’t even do one single stupidtask, Father was right–
Eva’s blurry vision filled itself with the Chief’s body and concerned face, having knelt down to try to bring the Princess back from her spiral of dread. His hand tenderly touched her face, trying to make her focus on him. The Chief felt anger bubbling inside him, witnessing first hand, sadly, what the brothers told him about their Father and their little sister. This wasn’t a normal reaction, this was someone who expected severe physical punishment, someone who lived in fear. Dear Goddesses above, he wanted to punch that man.
The Chief tried to calm her down as one would do with a scared animal, executing slow and open-handed movements so they saw he meant no threat or harm. The Chief ventured a reassuring smile, his hand on her cheek not moving and forcing her to see how he was not mad. Erwin didn’t have to look behind the Princess to see everyone’s concerned faces, or the Princes ready to storm in –mainly Friederich– and secure their sister.
The Eldian leader moved her dripping fingers towards his face, letting go of her own delicate face, and still kneeling at her feet. Eva never wanted to disappear more than she did right now; not only was she a huge embarrassment, but the Chief had to kneel at her feet. No noble or royal would lower themselves down for a peasant or foreigner, and yet, this Chieftain did without thinking twice. The Chief closed his eyes, waiting for the feel of her fingertips on his skin as if he was a venerable knight awaiting for his Princess’ touch at the throne room. The Princess swallowed down, harshly, gathered what resolve she could and went back to the ritual.
Her hand was shaking, still not fully recovered from the scare, and involuntarily flinched her fingers when they touched his skin for the first time. The Princess scrambled to remember what Nanaba showed her: first, a wide stripe across his nose, from cheek to cheek. Eva willed her hand to move and felt her breath stutter for a completely different reason than her fear.
His skin was warm and surprisingly soft to the touch. The Chief did not move upon feeling her fingers run across his face, keeping himself perfectly still so she could do a perfect application. Eva watched mesmerised as her digits easily glided on his skin, eyes glued to how long and blonde his eyelashes were. Eva knew many noble ladies and princesses would envy him for being so naturally gifted. They fanned down his cheeks, and in this perspective and light, it made his cheekbones sharper and nose stand proudly on his face, and it went along with his bushy and thick eyebrows, something she couldn’t help but notice right away from him. Eva discovered the Chief had some faint freckles sprayed across his broad nose, undoubtedly from being exposed to so many hours a day in the sun, contrary to her who was always kept in the shadows. Even his blonde hair looked shiny and soft to the touch, not a single doubt in her mind that the Chief had taken care of bathing himself thoroughly for today.
Eva realised that the Chief was… handsome.
He possessed that beauty of men.
Eva noticed her fingers had run dry, like her mouth. Feeling her cheeks heat up, Eva turned to Nanaba, trying to distract her thoughts by dipping her fingers again in the paint. This time Eva felt more confident, seeing how the Chief was still patiently kneeling at her feet and completely trusted her. This time, too, Eva felt bolder, reaching for his face, hovering over his jaw, to help guide her own hand into an even line. Her fingers resumed the glide on the bridge of his nose, and gulled up all the small details and movements he made, like the controlled breath, how he unconsciously raised his head to her touch, the way his eyelids fluttered when he felt her fingers smooth down his other cheek…
Eva had never been this close to a man before.
Her heart thumped wildly at the realisation of it, how in her secluded life, she had never been next to a man that… intimately close. For a moment, Eva lost track of what she was doing, having her fingers hovering over his cheek. The sight of him swallowing and watching his Adam’s apple bob, snapped out of her trance. Lost, Eva looked back at Nanaba, who immediately caught up and showed her the next lines she had to make. Two lines on his left eye and cheek, and three to the right. Eva watched which fingers Nanaba used, replicating the same movements on the Chief’s face.
Her fingers gently stroked down his cheek, accidentally brushing the tips of her fingers on his long lashes. Eva felt and saw them twitch, and had an apology ready on her lips even though he couldn’t understand a single syllable of it. But seeing the corner of his mouth twitch up made the words get stuck in her throat. Was he enjoying this? Her clumsy and pathetic attempt? Did he find her mistakes amusing?
That dread and hollowing sensation in her mind and chest came back with a vengeance. Sucking a breath in, Eva continued on autopilot, finishing the other three stripes on the other side of the face. The Chief noticed the trembling on her fingers return, and once the markings were done, the Chieftain immediately opened his striking eyes, zeroing on the Princess and finding that anguished and anxious expression on her face again. In the distance, both of them could hear Nanaba speak and Moblit translate it for the foreigners, signaling it was time for the third part of the ritual.
Eva swallowed a whimper, having the Chieftain’s entire attention on her and not knowing what to make of it. Was he mad? Was he trying to intimidate her?
The Eldian Chief didn’t let Eva dwell much into her restless thoughts, taking her stained hand in his. It was sudden, and a tiny gasp escaped her mouth. Nanaba already prepared the basin with warm water to clean the fingers, and the Chief stood up to his full height, not releasing her hand. Testing the water first and deeming it acceptable, the Chief dipped the offered cloth that rested on Nanaba’s forearm, gently wiping the Princess’ fingers. He took most of the paint off, but would need a thorough scrubbing when they got back into the village. To finally get rid of most of the paint, the Chief submerged the fingers inside the water, letting the liquid melt the dried chunks of paint.
Eva watched the pigments disperse into the water, not daring to look back at the Eldian leader and feeling her cheeks blaze up.
The next step was blessing the weapon used for the hunting, a traditional Eldian bow used for this ritual. The groom had to hunt their prey using only that bow and arrows, a dagger only for if they needed to defend themselves if the occasion arose. Nanaba took the still burning sage stick, lifting it from the plate and passing it over the bow, quill and arrows. Then he motioned Eva to approach her, the Chief letting go of her hand and watching her walk to where Nanaba needed her to be. The eldian warrior passed the bow to Eva, instructing her to stand in front of the Chief as Nanaba said something in Eldian and passed the sage around and across them.
Eva could see how magnificent and a work of art this bow was. Completely black, big and with gold motifs on its wood of the same engravings all across the village. The Princess was used to the simpler ones, made of wood, leather and a string. This one was the masterpiece of an artisan, many hours and work poured into this superb piece. It was almost a shame it was going to be used, afraid of having a single scratch on its perfectly polished surface.
When Nanaba finished, she nodded at the Princess to offer the blessed bow to the Chief, who in turn got down on one knee and bowed, accepting the weapon. They repeated this step for the quiver and arrows, the Chief silently taking them in reverence.
Now, it was the fourth and final step of the ritual before the hunting began.
The bride must send off the groom, wishing him luck and for the Goddesses to bless the hunting.
And how was Eva supposed to do that? Did she have to wave goodbye as she watched him disappear into the woods? Say something? Do a certain thing? Her mind was racing, trying to find something suitable to do. Nanaba wouldn’t help her this time, since this was a step that the bride must do alone. Panic was taking over, her brain struggling to find something suitable to send the Chief off. So, as a mind in panic often did, Eva’s went blank, and did the first thing that came into mind.
She read about it in her secret books, blushing at the romanticism of it and thinking what would Eva do in the heroine’s place.
Well, now she knew.
Eva bent down, gently holding the Chief’s face in her hands and letting her lips touch his forehead in a feather-light, soft kiss, murmuring “good luck” into his skin.
That surprised everyone.
Including the Chief.
And herself.
The Eldian leader looked back at her with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open. This was completely unexpected. Now the groom had to answer the bride, and it was the Chief’s turn to have a blank mind. He should correspond her gesture.
The Chief took her hand again and lifted it to his lips, never tearing his eyes away from her and her flushed and embarrassed face. He saw the Princess’ cheeks redden further as she felt the soft press of his own lips on the back of her hand, and kept gazing at her as he stood up and saluted her with the Eldian salute, bowing while doing so.
Eva watched the Chieftain turn around and march towards the tent’s entrance, the Princess noticing how the tips of his ears had a red flush on them, too. He didn’t turn back, Eva watching his broad shoulders disappear outside the tent.
Now, they had to wait for him to come back.
Levi had busied himself into making tea for everyone. Their guests were seated on the wooden stools near the fire, keeping them warm. It had been quite a while since the Chief had departed, and Eva’s hand and lips still felt as if they had been set ablaze by the contact of their skins. Thankfully, nobody questioned her “sending off” or inquired further about it, but as Levi handed out a cup to everyone, Prince Hand turned to face his sister.
“Eva,” he did not want to spook her more than she already was. Hans knew Eva hated being the center of attention, and since her arrival she had only been on everyone’s sights. “About earlier, in the forest.”
The Crown Prince saw his sister visibly tense up.
Moblit kept an eye on the siblings.
“It was nothing.” Eva kept her voice low, not wanting to disturb anyone. She felt like a bother, having to be babysat by the Eldian warriors. Moblit explained how it would usually be the priestess, the bride and groom and witnesses from both sides of the betrotheds, one for each side of the family. So she had more than double of the necessary witnesses. Like a defenseless, useless child.
But she was.
You are nothing more than a pretty doll.
She was.
Your job is to stand still and obey.
“Nothing makes you almost throw yourself off a horse.” Hans pushed the issue, not wanting to let it go. Not yet.
Eva felt the grip on her tea cup tighten at his insistence, and trying to not answer the question just yet, Eva lifted it to her lips and took a sip, eyes casted down to the floor.
“The wind…”
“Eva, please.” Hans’s hand landed on her forearm, making Eva look at her concerned brother with guilt in her eyes. Hans knew his sister never truly showed her feelings or thoughts, always keeping them to herself so she would not be a bother. “I beg you. If there’s something out there, not only you are in danger, but the Chief is now that he ventured alone into the woods.”
Eva felt a pang of culpability and shame at how selfish she had been. Hans was right, the Chieftain could be in danger because of her own childish fears and stupidity. They all could be. Swallowing down a wet sigh, Eva looked at her brother with a regretful gaze.
“I saw a stag, but it was… unnatural. It… it glowed a blue light, as if it was made of light itself.” Eva awaited for a sneer, a laugh at her wild, immature imagination. Eva waited for her father’s eyes to pin her to the ground with disdain and disgust in them. But Hans frowned, concerned.
“A magical creature?” Hans hummed to himself, leaning back in his seat and taking back his arm, his hand absentmindedly stroking his well kept beard. A magical creature made more sense.
Gottesreich was under their father’s strict rule, and everyone knew how no magical creature could thrive in their Kingdom. Father made sure of it. Countless wars, countless battles and marches of their army into their territories to extinguish the heresy, the sinners. Countless resources spent on Father’s crusade. Hans had to admit at first he believed it. Father told him how they took mother away, how it was their fault. Father told him how they were dangerous, treacherous, dishonest and double-crossing. Father had to cleanse the world from them.
But seeing first hand how they, the Holy Kingdom of Gottesreich, were the true sinners and heretics, how they were the murderers of the innocent… Hans and Friederich would never forget the faces of those children. That was their breaking point. The start of their rebellion.
Eva had never been exposed to magic, always been taught to fear it and the creatures that used and thrived in it, so it made sense she was afraid of the unknown. But a small part of his brain whispered how the creatures were angry at them, rightfully so. They knew whothey were, wherethey came from. Gottesreich was a name they would spit on it, curse it, detest it.
“Magical creature?” Eva’s eyes widened in fear, the dark blue stare of the stag flashing in her mind. Father told them how they were blood-thirsty and traitorous beings. If that creature was in the woods… The Chief was in danger! “Brother, if that is true, then we must aid the Chieftain! That creature is going to–”
“My deepest apologies for intruding in your conversation, your Highnesses.” Moblit cut Eva’s anguished pleas. Hans and Eva turned to the eldian warrior. “But I think I must take part in it and clear up some misunderstandings.”
“Misunderstandings?” Prince Hans frowned.
“We are in the Old Forest of the Ancient Gods.” A chill ran down Eva’s spine. Ancient Gods? “This is a sacred place for the Eldians, as it is both the residence of the magical creatures and the start of our people, of Eldia. If Your Highnesses fancy it, I can explain in more detail about our deities and ancient history when we get back to the village after the ritual comes to its end.” Prince Hans nodded, quite interested in expanding his knowledge of their allies. “But, as I was saying, these woods gave us food and shelter when we needed it, and provided us with the sacred woods to make our homes.”
That explained the archaic looking pillars scattered on the village and in its houses, with their markings and engravings.
“We respect the ancient creatures living in this forest, and do not take what we are not allowed to. We aim to protect them as they protected us.” Moblit waited for the siblings to process his words, and took a moment to breathe. “Probably, the creature you saw, Your Highness, was the Guardian of the Forest. It is said it has an unnatural size and antlers that are as big as tree branches. It doesn’t often appear to guests, so it must have sensed you.”
“Is… is that bad?” She didn’t want to be sensed. She wanted to be left alone.
“Not precisely.” That didn’t really quell any fears in the Princess’ heart. “The Guardian is a curious creature, and has no ill intentions towards those who pose no threat.”
Moblit didn’t mention how The Guardian sensed rarities.
“I really don’t wish for a confrontation with anyone, specially… magical creatures, or old gods.” Eva fought every fiber of her being to not shiver at the thought of it. What would she be able to do, a mere defenseless human, against powerful beings?
“I’m sure The Guardian knows that well, Your Highness. They are wise.”
“Then…” Eva looked down at her hands, still gloveless and with a bit of a blue stain on her fingertips, clutching tightly the tea cup. “Why did The Guardian… charge towards me?”
“Charge, Your Highness?”
Eva felt a bolt of courage go through her body. Maybe this would answer some questions she had.
“The Guardian fixed its eyes on me, or at least it felt like it was doing that, and… and also as if he was looking deep inside on me, as if it was somehow searching for something. I felt… bare. Defenseless.” her grip on the cup tightened. “Then, The Guardian charged towards me, that’s why I almost fell from the horse. It… was as if I had been knocked down by a strong wind, breath leaving my lungs. Did I do something to cross it?”
Eva immediately felt as if she said too much, talked way too much than was strictly necessary. Her mouth had run off as if she was a charlatan. Where did her manners go?
The Princess refused to look up at her brother and the Eldian warrior, knowing how they probably found her lack of decorum distasteful, babbling so much. She kept her gaze on the tea, gently shining from the torches and fire.
“Ah…” Moblit took a pensive stance, going through the Princess’ words to find a suitable explanation. “Be at ease, Your Highness, I highly doubt you did something to raise The Guardian’s wrath upon yourself. As its name says, it’s the guardian of the forest, so they are cautious of newcomers. They are of the spiritual realm, so I don’t think I err by saying that he… actually looked into your soul.” Eva raised her eyes at the Eldian warrior, slightly nauseated at the thought of being looked at in such intimate and personal places where even herself couldn’t see, and unconsciously rubbed her hand on her chest. Moblit greeted her with a smile, which only increased Eva’s displeasure. “The Guardian deemed you worthy.”
“Then, what about the rest of us?” Friederich spoke up.
“The Guardian didn’t even see you as a threat.” Moblit didn’t even bat his eyes once, and kept his amiable smile.
Friederich didn’t know if to feel insulted or not. He opted to be comforted by the thought of it, considering the red staining his hands.
“Good to know, then.” Friederich crossed his arms over his chest, looking back at the fire.
“I hope this appeased your worries, Your Highness. I assure you The Guardian meant no harm, and I understand you might have been confused by its actions, since I… ah, know that you didn’t have many encounters with magical creatures.”
“Thank you kindly, Moblit. I do feel more at ease.” Lies.She was scared shitless.
“If you have any more questions, please do not hesitate to ask me, Your Highnesses. I am here to be of as much help as I can be.” Eva forced herself to smile as an answer.
Hans asked Moblit something that was in his mind, his insatiable curiosity taking over, and Eva immediately removed herself from the conversation. The Princess took a sip of her tea, as if it would help her gulp down and digest the massive amounts of information she had just been fed right now. The mere thought of having magical creatures freely roaming the lands deeply unsettled her. Weren’t they dangerous, as Father said? Did the Eldians really trust those creatures? Was she, her brothers and Flora truly safe?
Nanaba appeared on her right, kneeling down and letting one of her hands gently rest on her wrist. She had a warm smile on her lips, reaching her eyes, and her demeanour and aura told Eva that under the warrior garments, she was a kind and sweet woman. Eva felt as if the Eldian warrior was trying to reassure her in some way, as if she understood completely what the conversation had been about. Maybe she knew Gottesreichan?
But with Prince Hans and Moblit’s voices in the background, the fire happily creaking, Flora’s quiet presence beside her and Nanaba’s gentle care, she let herself be persuaded into a more calm state.
Now all they had to do was wait for the Chieftain’s return.
It had been many hours since the Chief departed into the woods, the sun having moved from its position in the sky and changing the lights inside the tent, and with every hour that passed, Eva feared something happened to the man. Even if they just met and Eva couldn’t make out his character or intentions yet, she thought no-one should die alone in the woods.
Moblit and the other warrior’s nods reassured her the Chief was one of the best hunters of the village, no-one outbesting Levi in that matter, but the Chief was good. The marital ritual was an exercise of patience not only for the hunter, but for the one who awaited their soon to be spouse to come back. Still, Eva thought the Chief had been gone too long, and that worried her.
As Levi served the Princess another cup of tea, a distant sound could be heard from outside the tent. Immediately, the Eldian warriors stood to attention, looking at each other as they heard the sound repeat itself, now closer. The Gottesreichan guests looked at each other with mirrored confused expressions. Was something out of the ordinary?
Mike moved first, walking to the entrance of the tent and stepping out of it. Then they heard Mike let out another sound, as if answering the first one, and the Princess realised it was similar to bird calls, so inconspicuous to the untrained ears but useful for its users. The first call answered Mike back, and the giant warrior came back in to open the tent’s entrance and tie the fabric to the pole, securing a perfect view of outside.
It was as if time slowed down, holding their breaths, but everyone present inside the tent could see a massive silhouette slowly approach them. Everyone sprung into action at once, and Moblit’s gentle words could be heard amongst the ruckus of boots and cloaks, explaining to the Gottesreichan guests the next steps of the ritual.
The bride must welcome back the groom from their hunt. The groom will present their hunting piece to his betrothed–
Nanaba came by the Princess’s side and urged her to leave the tea and stand up with her, making her walk to the entrance itself. The Princess stood, frozen, at the very edge of the tent, and she could feel the winter breeze caress her face, the warmth of the fire behind her back.
Then she saw him.
The Chieftain was back. Safe and with the prize.
He succeeded.
Eva didn’t know she had been holding her breath, but as the Chief neared the tent, Eva released the burning air out of her lungs.
His hair was disheveled, no doubt from the little bouts of wind, but overall he appeared unscathed. Eva’s eyes widened upon realisation of what he was carrying on his robust shoulders: a massive stag that surely weighed like three cows without the antlers. If Eva could, she would laugh at the irony of that.
The Princess could see his muscles bulging from the strain of carrying such an enormous animal, and she instinctively swallowed down at the sight of her soon-to-be husband when the wind picked up and opened his Eldian cloak, flapping behind him. Her mind was a garbled, confused mess. Was this what she would see, everyday, from now on?
But his eyes were burning. Eva felt herself be pinned down by them, by their determination and purpose. If Eva had been one of her forbiddennovel’s heroines, she would have fainted at the sight of a big, barbaric strong man coming her way. Instead, she willed her legs to hold her up and patiently await his arrival. She still had a role to play in this ritual, as Moblit said earlier.
The Chief stopped in front of her, heaving from the effort, but exchanged no words, only his hypnotic blue gaze. Eva watched, with her own eyes wide open, as the Chief eased down the stag to the snow covered ground with the utmost care, and not even breaking his eye contact with her. The Eldian leader presented his hunting piece and kneeled down, awaiting the next step the Princess had to carry on.
–and the bride must take out the sacred arrow from the hunting piece. The bride must show it to the witnesses as proof the groom succeeded in the trial.
Just the mere thought of it made Eva want to bolt back inside the tent.
The Princess willed her legs to move forward, her boots thudding on the snow. The Chief patiently waited for her to come, quietly regaining his breath. Eva gathered her skirts, lifting them slightly as she courtly bowed before the stag and the Chief, hoping that would suffice as a welcome back. He didn’t move, so she thought it worked.
Eva approached them slowly, as if she was desperately gathering all her will and resolve to do the next part. The Princess kneeled down herself too in front of the animal, eyes glued to the beautiful black and gold arrow embedded in the stag’s thick neck. Her hands couldn’t stop trembling as she raised them, and involuntarily flinched when some of her fingers brushed the still warm skin. The Princess released a stuttered breath as her hands neared the arrow. Then, she stopped there, unable to move further.
The Chief’s hands appeared in her vision, gently wrapping his gloved fingers around her own hands, guiding them into the proper position. His touch was reassuring and Eva’s eyes quickly flashed up to the Eldian leader. He was solemn, but not cold. He didn’t seem disappointed, either. The Chief nodded towards their hands, showing Eva how she must pull out the arrow. Releasing a deep breath, Eva wrapped her fingers around the arrow, the other one setting next to it on top of the skin. Press and pull. She could do this.
Press and pull.
Eva did not want to think about the skin pulling up with the arrow head, or the blood trickling down as it moved upwards, but she had to do it. The faster she did it, the sooner she would be out of that situation.
Press and pull.
Inevitably pulling her lips into a grimace, biting them afterwards, the Princess pulled the arrow out with all the strength she could muster. The squelch was sickening and Eva wanted to lurch and vomit the tea she had just been drinking. Her hands sprouted back into a shaking and she could not tear her eyes away from the droplets of blood falling down the arrowhead into the white snow, staining it.
The Chief’s hands curled around her face, tearing her gaze away from the blood and into his concerned blue eyes. Eva felt her breathing harden, her lungs squeezing on themselves, but the Chief managed to keep her grounded enough to not faint. The Eldian leader managed a tiny smile, as if he wanted to show her how proud he was of her, or that’s what Eva would like to believe. He nodded towards the tent where the other Eldian warriors awaited the proof of the groom’s success. Eva assented, getting back up on her feet with the Chief’s help. He even brushed off the snow off her dress and patiently waited for the signal to come in.
Eva clumsily turned around and walked towards the entrance, so mechanically she wanted to slap herself in shame. Her hands tightened around the arrow, willing herself to calm down, for God’s sake.
Nanaba was the first to greet her with a kind smile. She looked down at her hands as Eva presented the arrow, and her smile widened when she saw that the Chief, indeed, succeeded. Nanaba turned around, making Eva step forward and present the arrow to everyone else. The female warrior said something in Eldian as she did so, and everyone relaxed immediately. Eva quickly ventured her eyes to look at her brothers and handmaiden. She hoped her eyes screamed out her message: I want to go home already.
Thankfully Nanaba made her turn around to face her and made her close her fingers around the arrow, pressing it to her chest. She had to keep that arrow, as Moblit said earlier when explaining the next step.
The bride must carry the arrow in her hands home, showing it to the village as proof, also, that the marital ritual was a success and the Goddesses bless this union.
The arrow was going to be hung in the house walls she would share with the Chief soon, since it would become some sort of talisman or charm for their union. Eva didn’t know if she would get used to the sight of it, but hoped she would manage to look at it fondly one day.
Nanaba went to the entrance, seconds later the Chief himself entered the tent with his heavy boots thudding on the ground. The Eldian warriors solemnly saluted him and he answered with a nod.
“The ritual was a success.” Moblit’s voice announced to the Gottesreichan guests. “The Goddesses have blessed the start of their journey together.”
It was official then. They would marry in two months.
The journey back to the village was spent in silence too.
Rating: Mature (the rating will go up as the story advances! But it will totally be explicit ;D I even have some smut chapters already half written woooo! But right now just in case)
Warnings: None for now, but sexist and misogynist upbringing (Eva’s father is a huge asshole).
A/N:FUCKING FINALLY. I was so stuck and had a severe writer’s block, but here it is! Part 4! I feel like my writing went down a bit but I hope to make up for it on the next one. Finished, not perfect! I hope you enjoy this one and were we can see a bit more of the vets and the 104 kids ôô
CHAPTER 4: WINTER BLOOM
The pale morning rays of sunlight woke the Princess up, mumbling and turning to her side. Eva heard the distant chirps of birds flying by, as well as the sounds of the village being already busy. The neighing of horses, carts being pulled around, setting up the shops, the rooster screeching…
Wait.
That’s not what she usually woke up to.
Back home she only heard the birds and some maids, especially Flora when she would come barging in and opening the thick curtains of her windows, letting the sun hit right in Princess’ face as she knew how much Eva despised being woken up like this, hollering: “What–”
“–A great morning this is, your Royal Sleepy Highness!”
Ah, there she was.
Eva attempted a reply but curled up further into the duvet and blankets.
“Oh c’mon, Princess! We’ve got a busy day today! Lots of exciting things!”
“Exciting for you.” Eva mumbled covering her head with the thick bedding.
Flora snorted, rolling her eyes. Without any kind of remorse, Flora grabbed the end of the duvet and blankets and unceremoniously pulled them off the Princess, enjoying the irritated groan she let out as Eva tried to blindly find something to cover herself with.
“Rise and shine!” Flora said in a singsong, stepping out of the Princess’ reach as she tried to kick her leg.
“How can you be so happy and chirpy so early in the morning?” Eva gave up, sighing and rolling out of the oddly comfortable bed; Eva fell asleep earlier than she anticipated.
“Oh, spare me the dramatics! We gotta get you to eat breakfast and prepare you for—“
“I’m not hungry.”
“Yeah, sure thing Princess, as if you don’t gobble up like a duck when you are nervous.” Flora handed Eva her robe, guiding her to the bathroom where a basin already filled with water and a cloth awaited her.
Once her morning routine finished, Eva padded to the living room where breakfast had been already served. It smelled heavenly.
“I don’t gobble like a duck.” Eva sat down, huffing displeased.
The Princess served herself some warm bread, eyeing the jams and butter with a watering mouth. Flora set a steaming cup next to her before sitting down in front of the Princess.
“Sorry, not coffee yet.”
Eva sighed.
The Princess cut some more bread for her handmaiden, sharing the spreading knife after she was done with it. On the first bite Eva hummed, satisfied with the taste and texture. Freshly baked bread was the absolute best. Flora leisurely poured sugar over the butter, her smile widening at the sugary mess. Eva frowned, chewing.
“It’s still a wonder how your teeth haven’t rotten out yet.”
“Ah, family thing for sure!” Flora took a heartly bite of the sweet monstrosity in her hands. “Gramps still has his teeth intact and covers everything in sugar when he gets his hands on some.”
Eva’s lips curled into a grimace.
“I love sweets but I don’t think that is healthy.”
“You just don’t appreciate the flavour.”
“I sincerely doubt there’s any flavour left in that.” Eva nodded towards Flora’s loaf of bread.
The handmaid shrugged, biting down on it and making a show just to irk the Princess further. Eva exaggerated a gag which made Flora giggle.
Three knocks on the heavy wooden door announced the Eldians coming to pick her up. Eva sighed as she watched Flora stand up from the chair next to the Princess and walk to the door, opening it with a short bow and a smile. Eva sat straighter as the looming and bulky figures of the Eldian warriors came into her view, entering the lodgings provided temporarily for her and her handmaiden. They were the same as yesterday, the giant called Mike, the female warrior that caught her attention, Nanaba, and another man Eva couldn’t remember the name right now.
The three warriors bowed, Nanaba and the other warrior waiting right next to the open door as Mike approached her. The giant warrior waved to the door, the message of “you have to go outside” quite clear in his movements. His face did not give away any of his thoughts, keeping a neutral expression as he watched the Princess stand up and follow him, Flora right behind her with giddy steps.
Flora should have been born a Princess or a noble, her happy and open disposition towards everything and everyone would win anyone over, as well as the way she found happiness in the little things of life. How Eva wished she had Flora’s positive mindset.
“Alright, ready for your big day?” the handmaiden asked in hushed whispers, something both women mastered from years of court banquets.
“Of course not. I want to run right back inside.”
“You’re such a big—” Flora was cut off by Eva’s gasp.
Flora raised her eyes just in time to see the giant warrior leaning way too close to the Princess’ personal space and… sniff. The Princess had turned around, disbelief and stupefaction etched on her face at the nerve this big, brute man had to go sniffing people without… without their consent. Eva found it uncouth, impolite, and her cheeks blazed in indignation.
Mike leaned back, humming, pleased at something Eva wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Nanaba immediately chastised the big man, kicking his leg and nagging at him as he shrugged, crossing his arms and looking slightly guilty. At the scene unfolding right outside the house, people began to stop and watch, and Eva felt her blood run cold at the sound of the Chief’s laugh coming from down the stairs. Hans and Friederich were already there, and the youngest of the two brothers was about to march upstairs, his displeased frown deepening. The Chief nodded to Moblit, motioning him to rush to them and clear misunderstandings. Levi rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue.
“Your Highness, please accept our deepest apologies.” Moblit hastily bowed, an apologetic smile in his lips. “Mike here has this habit of… uh, sniffing people.”
“Is he implying I smell?” Eva’s mouth was pulled into a tight line. Flora did not spend as long as she did grooming her and using those soaps and perfumes Eva loved for this man to mock her handmaiden’s efforts. Besides, she kept her hygiene up to date, thank you very much.
“No! Not at all, Your Highness. Mike has a great and sharp sense of smell, like a… ah, what’s the name… ah, wolf! Like a wolf, and although I do concede that it may be considered rude, he just does it from force of habit.”
Eva raised her brow skeptically.
“He meant no disrespect, Your Highness. It’s his way to say that he uh… he welcomes you.” Moblit ventured a quick glance towards the man in question, muttering something as he almost imperceptibly nodded towards the Princess with wide impatient eyes.
Mike huffed, but muttered something back to Moblit in a deep voice. Next to him, Nanaba nodded, pleased.
“He apologises, Your Highness, and compliments you.” that piqued Eva’s curiosity. “He says you smell comforting, of lavender and honey. That’s something he appreciates, with his sharp sense of smell he can easily get overwhelmed by strong scents.”
“Ah, that must be troublesome.” Eva turned to face Mike and inclined her head. “My apologies for acting harshly.” But Eva still thought her response was totally justified. A warning beforehand would have been nice, and she still had her pride.
Mike answered with one curtly bow of his head of his own.
“Indeed.” Moblit decided the issue was resolved and lifted his arm towards the Chief and the Gottesreichan Princes, watching the whole ordeal with amused expressions sans Friederich. He still looked murderous. “Please, after you, Your Highness.”
That shocked Eva. Normally back at Gottesreich she would walk behind the men and respectfully listen to whoever was talking, and even after visiting other countries, that rule still applied, or maybe they weren’t willing to go against Gottesreich. Either way, Eva was taught to never disrespect its citizens and rulers when visiting foreign kingdoms from her brothers, and the Princess always willed herself to follow the Kingdom’s culture and customs out of respect, despite what her father said on more than one occasion. Her brothers taught her to be respectful, and she would not ignore them, and even less be an embarrassment for her brothers. Summoning with all her will a composed mask on her face, Eva dared to take the lead and walk down the snow covered stairs to where her brothers and Chief awaited. Flora walked right behind her, always keeping a watchful eye to her skirts and cloak, in case they may get in the way.
The crunching of her steps on the snow were deafening for the Princess. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. She was used to having all eyes on her, from courts and dances and banquets, from nobles and princes trying to win her father’s good graces, but having the people of Eldia stop and observe every single move she was doing felt suffocating. One slip and she was probably doomed in their eyes.
Eva stopped right in front of the men, bowing respectfully.
“Good morning, my Lord. Brothers.” Moblit’s voice softly translated for the Chief, who didn’t take his eyes away from her the entire descent.
The Chief returned the greeting, bowing as well.
“I hope you had a pleasant sleep, your Highness.”
“I did. Thank you, my Lord.” Eva did not find the need to tell him how she tossed and turned around, her mind restless, musing over yesterday’s events –his touch– or how she missed her pillows back at the palace. The Chief seemed pleased, although there was a glint in his eyes that he most certainly caught the lie. Damn it.
“If there is anything we can offer to help you get settled and to further accommodate you, please do not hesitate to say so, your Highness. I understand it may be unpleasant being so far away from home and your people.” Eva was slightly taken aback at how the Chief seemed to be understanding of her situation, contrary to what she had heard and been told a husband would be once she married. The Princess didn’t want to let her hopes up in case the fall was to be harder than it would already be.
“Thank you for your consideration, my Lord. I will do so in case I need it.” Eva knew she wouldn’t say a thing, her stubbornness always playing against her favour.
The Chief seemed pleased enough with her answer. He turned slightly so he was facing the three Gottesreichan siblings, addressing the rest of the foreign party as well. Moblit translated for them all, and Flora managed to contain her excited hops when the Chief officially announced the start of their walk around the village.
Much to the Princess’ dismay, the Chief had offered up his right arm for her to hold on as they began the tour, an encouraging smile on his lips as if saying “go on, I will not harm you”. Eva had hoped her brothers would keep him distracted enough so she could trail behind and listen, observing her surroundings, but no such luck. It seemed like here in Eldia they weren’t as reticent of closeness as they were in Gottesreich, and women were treated differently.
The Chief was still as big and massive as the Princess remembered from yesterday’s banquet, thinking it was her own nerves and wine that exaggerated her memories, but the way her hands had trouble meeting on the Chief’s arm told her otherwise. The Eldian leader kept a slow pace, mindful of his companion and her shorter legs, as he began explaining their village and the way it was structured.
The Eldian architecture was entirely different from the one used in Gottesreich, as well as the distribution of the village itself. Where Eva was used to narrower streets with houses sharing walls, clustered, messy (although the closer to the castle, the better were planned the streets and districts), mossy cobblestones, puddles around the corners with barrels and wooden crates, the townspeople walking as merchants and shopkeepers yelled their offers to the passersby, pennants hanging from side to side of the streets with the Kingdom’s colours… Here in Eldia the streets were wider, the buildings lower in height which gave a sense of the town being less claustrophobic since you could easily see the scenery and the sky. Wooden fences, dark roofs made of slates, the streets made of the earth itself with grass heartily growing on both sides and wooden planks on the floor to help create a more visible path on certain parts, but one could clearly see the cart’s marks as well as the horses pulling them.
Although everything was covered in thick layers of snow, Eva had no doubts it would be a magnificent sight in spring, with the imposing mountains surrounding the village and the vast fields littered with the farmer’s homes composing a picture deserving of a painting. It was rurally beautiful. Different, more primitive, if she took into consideration her own Kingdom’s ways, but efficient. The Princess was sure this level of coordination would not be able to be achieved without years of honing this lifestyle, and it honestly intrigued her, her curiosity piqued. Eva hoped this curiosity and wonder for the novelty wouldn’t disappear quickly and would stay with her until her situation was more bearable, or grew accustomed to.
Moblit’s gentle voice guided the Gottesreichan guests through the Chief’s explanations, looking at the direction where the Chief pointed with his free hand while speaking, often stopping to further go into details about their dwellings, their storage facilities and barns, the marketplace with the villagers already busy with their daily chores. The town’s market was lively and uniquely beautiful, wooden stalls standing proud with all the goods on display. There was all kinds of variety, going from food to parchment and candles and clothes, to jewelry or tools for butchers or farmers.
The Princess’ heart thumped wildly on her chest, trying her hardest not to show her rising panic at the fact that she was walking around the village on the Chief’s arm, having everyone’s eyes on her as they kept their tour. The villagers stopped their chores midway to stare at them, whispering and chattering as they went through. Some respectfully greeted their Chieftain, mostly the warriors patrolling the streets doing a particular salute upon seeing them, but the villagers smiled and bowed, the children present doing the same as they tried to contain their laughs while not being able to keep their eyes off the scene in front of them. The Chief continued their walk after answering the greetings.
An excited giggle, followed by a shriek of what sounded like a name, startled the guests and their hosts, even. The Gottesreichan soldiers took a defensive stance, ready to pounce on the source of it as well as attack if necessary; their priority was defending the monarch’s lives at any costs. Eva couldn’t help the scared jump her body did upon hearing the childish laugh and running steps on frozen ground getting nearer, gasping loudly in fear and tightly clutching the Chief’s arm with her tiny hands as she unconsciously leaned on him, seeking protection.
The Chief was ready to make her stand behind him and face the attacker, but stopped immediately upon seeing it was one of the children from before. The boy had rosy cheeks, the colour intensified by both the running and the cold, and probably the excitement too, and had a wide smile that was missing a few teeth. The kid was holding something in his hands, hidden behind his back, and with the eagerness of a child waiting for the exact moment an adult would pay them attention to show them what they got in their hands, the little boy almost shoved his possession to the Chieftain and the Princess.
Once he saw what the boy had in his hands, the Chief visibly relaxed, shoulders shaking in silent amusement at how a little kid got the best of them all. The Princess still looked uncertain, clutching and pressing herself into him. Eyes wide and breath a little bit short, Eva looked down at the kid’s hands. He was holding a… flower?
A flower in the middle of winter? How was that even possible?
The kid kept his eyes on the Princess, urging her to take his present with quick words and lifting his hands further up, his smile widening. Eva thought herself of a stupid fool. How could she have been scared of a child? What harm could he do? Unless… No, unless nothing. This was a little boy offering a flower, a beautiful one that Eva had never seen before. Father would not tarnish the good intentions of a child.
Upon not having, still, immediate response from the Princess, the kid hopped on his spot, irremediably making Eva show a timid smile; she could never resist a toothy grin and sparkling eyes.
One look at the mother told Eva how this was not planned and how the kid had ran off on his own volition. Everyone on the street stopped dead on their tracks and silently watched the exchange, not even daring to breathe. The mother’s wide eyes jumped from the Princess to the Chief, then to his child, not knowing if she should run and apologise to their guests or wait and have faith in their leader and his soon to be wife.
Eva understood quickly this was to be a decisive moment for her and her stay in Eldia. One wrong movement that led to misinterpretation could be beyond disastrous. She had to be good, she had to fulfill her duty and be a good wife and—
Eva took a deep breath. Focus.Don’t succumb into panic.
Fighting her burning cheeks out of her own embarrasment, Eva let go of her almost deadly grip on the Chief’s arm and faced the little boy alone. Keeping her smile on her lips, Eva approached the child with small steps, stopping right in front of him and elegantly folding her gloved hand on top of the other. The kid kept talking at a dizzying speed, and when he noticed how the Princess furrowed her brows in confusion, while still maintaining her smile, he understood not a word he was saying reached her.
Humming to himself while thinking hard, the kid’s face illuminated itself when an idea came to him. He hastily pointed to the flower and then to the Princess, practically shoving it in her hands. Eva looked down and then up at the kid, pointing at herself with a questioning look. The child nodded effusively, shoving the poor flower again.
Eva couldn’t help the soft chuckle upon his enthusiasm, never being able to resist a kid. The Princess took it, making sure to do a slightly exaggerated bow, lifting slightly the skirts and careful enough to not crumple the flower, so the little boy understood her gratitude. The kid happily ran back to his mother, skipping and laughing as he began talking at that incredible speed while his mother looked beyond relieved. Eva did a curtly bow to her too, trying to show the mother no offence of any kind was taken.
Returning to the Chief’s side, Eva brought the flower to her nose. She always did that whenever she came by one, out of habit, and was surprised by the faint but sweet fragrance it emitted. Eva would have to ask about them, knowing Gottesreich did not have any flowers blooming in winter.
Just when they were about to resume their walk, more excited giggles and shouts could be heard. Other children ran away from their mothers and fathers, holding the same flower in their tiny hands. Eva found herself surrounded by eager eyes and smiles, shoving their flowers up so the Princess would pick them up too. Some would tug at her cloak so she would pick theirs first, others jumping on their spot, other’s patiently waiting their turn as they marvelled on the fabric and embroidery of her pale blue winter dress.
The Princess ended up with a small bouquet of flowers, the children shouting and running happily back to their parents once they delivered their gifts. She did not know what to do with them now, and frantically looked at the Chief and her brothers, then to Flora when her siblings had confused expressions, for a clue. The Chieftain had an amused glint in his eyes, but half his mind was busy thinking about something. Finally, Flora took pity on her Princess and walked up to her with a smile on her lips.
“Let’s show off those gifts, shall we, your Highness?”
Flora expertly secured the flowers on the Princess’s up braid, the pure white and calm blue of the flowers an unexpected but welcome complement to the Princess’s own choice of wardrobe. Moblit later explained, upon inquiring about the flowers herself, that they were a special kind of flower that bloomed on their woods only during the cold season, earning the name of “winter miracle”. It also symbolized the welcoming of new people into their tribe, as its sister in the warmer weather.
Eva was touched, knowing not that those kids wanted to welcome her upon hearing she was to become one of them soon. The Princess only wished the adults would have the same feelings towards her.
Thankfully the walk around the village suffered no more incidents and surprises, and Eva was able to delight herself on the market and what it had to offer; she definitely had to go there often and take her sweet time. The quills looked absolutely exquisite, and those were the famous travelling books she heard so much about! Even the jeweller had a beautiful selection of earrings, bracelets, necklaces and rings that the Princess had no idea the Eldians were capable of such craftsmanship. She particularly liked the brooch with the silhouette of a bird resting on a golden branch, the gold of the bird expertly mixed with beautiful midnight blue gemstones, resembling feathers. Also the hairpins! They were absolutely marvelous. The jeweller himself was both pleased and proud that the Gottesreichan Princess liked his products.
Their next destination amazed and terrified the Gottesreichan guests.
Eldia’s military prowess was legendary, and right now, they had its base and core right in front of them. The training grounds were a massive expanse of terrain, with barracks, thoroughly used wooden dummies, racks full of well-cared training weapons of all kinds, archery ranges, horse-riding training fields… and each and every single space was filled to the brim with warriors and trainees.
It was frightening to see how Eldia’s army was composed of perfectly trained warriors with wide expertise in the arts of combat. Not a movement wasted, not a single error in the placement of their feet to maintain balance. Strength, power, endurance, knowledge— every skill needed to become a perfect warrior, it was taught here in the massive training fields.
The Chief walked them right through the training grounds, nodding towards the warriors and fresh trainees who ceremoniously saluted him and the entourage he was leading. It was the same salute the Gottesreichan guests had seen in their entire walk around the unexpectedly gigantic village: right hand closed in a fist over their hearts, left hand on the back, and a proud stance full of tenacity and devotion. The newest recruits surprised the royal siblings, full of young faces who couldn’t be older than 15, but with a fierce determination to learn and to prove themselves. All sizes, shapes and forms– if you were up to it, were ready to go through an intense training, it did not matter who you were: a farmer’s son, a baker’s daughter… if you dedicated your heart, trained hard and understood what values had an Eldian warrior, what a life meant, you were fit to become one.
They stopped to observe the fresh batch that just started training a few months back go through a hand to hand combat. The instructor, a tall and intimidating man, bald with prominent wrinkles on his forehead and very notorious dark circles under his eyes, yelled out orders to the recruits. Some flinched, some fought every fibre of their beings into not taking a step back –a few of them failing–, but some stood their ground with confident and resolved stares, bearing down the drilling of the grim and frightening man.
Upon seeing that their Chief, the veteran warriors and the Gottesreichan guests where watching them, the recruits swallowed down their fears and tried to impress their leaders and royal guests, trying to make a good and fearsome impression of what the Eldian training grounds and warriors were made of. Punches, kicks, throwing the opponent on the floor… the field became a controlled battlefield of snarls, growls and frustrated shouts that developed into determined grunts. The recruits’ clothes soon became soiled by a mix of sweat and dirt, as a result of their vigorous and energetic try of today’s exercises.
The Princess did not dare to voice it aloud, in fear of her thoughts being perceived as a critique and direct attack on the Eldian ways, but her heart shrank inside her chest at the sight of what must be the smallest, tiniest of the new recruits, a blonde girl with wide blue eyes like the sky above, go against a trainee twice her size. Eva involuntarily clenched her hands in apprehension on the Chief’s arm, eyes not able to look away from the imminent tragedy. She was too tiny to be there! That poor girl was surely to be beaten into a pulp, taken advantage of the fact that she was much weaker, much more smaller–
A large hand squeezed her tightly clasped ones, making the Princess tear away her concerned gaze, even if she thought it was impossible for her to do so, to look down and see the Chief’s one bury her own. The Princess immediately searched for the Chief’s eyes, surprised at how he was already gazing down on her and had a small reassuring smile on his lips, nodding towards the training field. Eva looked straight ahead, just in time to see the petite girl dodge and deliver a solid punch to her opponent, making the cadet stagger backwards and clutch their stomach in pain. It was still far from being perfect and devastatingly powerful, as Eldians were known for, but it was good enough for a start and for the tiny warrior’s size. A small breath of relief released itself from the Princess’ lungs.
It still shocked Eva to the core to see women amongst the military ranks and files of Eldia, and nobody questioning it. Apparently there weren’t any kind of laws to forbid them to enlist, or to do any other job that back in Gottesreich it was meant only for men. How could they do it? How could those brave women endure it? Eva had always been taught how them, the lesser, weaker sex, could not what a man could do, just because God said so in his holy words. Father was the High Priest of Gottesreich, Father preached the word of God, the Holy Scriptures, that he made memorise Eva the moment she began her intense training as the third Princess of Gottesreich. It was so deeply ingrained in her mind that the mere thought of thinking herself above a man and their role made the Princess want to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness from her God.
How far did the dissimilarities run between their nations? How could Father entrust her with his desire to enlighten the Eldians into the correct, pious path? Just the simple thought of questioning her husband-to-be and his ways chilled her entire body and soul. She just… couldn’t. Her father’s will confused Eva.
But still, deep down inside her, locked down and not even daring to let it see the light, she couldn’t help but to… envy them. Envy their freedom of choice, of options, of life. Could she ever be like them? Aspire to have their wide range of choices? Alternatives? Could she choose her own path? She had been taught since she was a little girl that she would spend her life in a home, with her husband and a child in her arms. Not travelling, not expanding knowledge, or meeting new people and cultures… Everything Father and the Governess told her reminded little Eva of a bird cage. Pretty, comfortable, enough to see what was beyond the bars… but a cage.
She learned to accept her fate quickly, not daring to cross Father ever again in her life.
Eva knew she was born in a privileged home. A castle. A Princess. Never hungry, never cold, only the best of the best for her. It only took a quick look beyond the capital to see how privilege fed and took care of her. All her whims and wishes met without hesitation. Not a single patch to fix on her dresses, her hairbrush not missing a single bristle and made of the best silver— a perfect, content life. All you have to do is your duty, Father said. Do what you were born to do. Your only purpose.
Make me proud of being your Father.
Bring glory to the Holy Kingdom.
She was made to be bred, she was made to bear children, heirs, she was made to be a leverage for deals, a bargain chip, as her mind whispered to her in her darkest moments, to bring prosperity and glory to the Holy Kingdom of Gottesreich. She was… She was…
“Your Highness?”
The Princess was brought back to the present by Moblit’s placid voice and the Chief’s gentle tug, as if she had been rooted there, staring at the warriors, and getting lost in her troubles instead of following her fiancé and Eldian hosts. They were staring at her. Everyone. At least it felt like everyone, even the animals. Her breath had caught in her lungs, her throat a hard knot she forced herself to swallow before speaking.
“My deepest apologies, my Lords.” Eva’s mind scrambled to find an appropriate excuse for her lack of manners and being caught zoning out. “I did not mean any disrespect by my actions or to show an unwillingness to follow this pleasant walk. I was simply transfixed by your warriors, admiring their tenacity and will.”
What a load of bullshit.
They all seemed to buy it. Not Flora, though. She could see right through Eva as if she had been made of glass. Her handmaiden would probably ask her about it later in the privacy of their own lodgings, but let it go for now, knowing it was no use to inquire about it in the middle of the village tour, even less in front of their hosts.
They resumed the walk, passing through the training grounds before turning to their right, strolling until they reached one of the biggest houses of the village. Moblit informed them it was where the sick and injured were taken care of. A house for the sick, a hospital. Gottesreich had its own physicians and doctors, but never a house dedicated for the sick, the poor. Eva knew the Palace had their own royal physicians, dedicated only to them, and the people needed to rely on the town’s doctors.
Eva wondered how did this hospital work. Did they dedicate a part of the taxes to it? Was it free? What remedies did they use? What—
One of the windows was slammed open, an excited yell coming out of it. Moblit let out a tired sigh, mumbling in Eldian, as if he knew exactly what was that about. Levi spoke too, the tone in his voice denoting annoyance. Eva felt the Chieftain chuckle, answering his right-hand man with something that made Levi snort.
A head poked out of the window, messy brown hair tied up in a scrambled ponytail. The stranger kept shouting, excited, continuous noises of delight coming out of their mouth. The person noticed the small entourage right down their window, and quieted down instantly, curious as to who were the ones standing there. Then, another excited screech, lurching their body almost out of the window as they enthusiastically waved down. Moblit let out a strangled noise, uselessly raising his arms as if he wanted to catch the over excited person dangling off the window.
Eva discreetly looked to her side, looking for an answer or explanation in the Chief’s eyes, but he was looking up with an amused smile. She used his distraction to look behind her, finding the exact confused expression on her handmaiden and brother’s faces. The Princess saw Flora quietly shrug her shoulders, and she was so tempted to join her, but refrained in case the Eldians caught her and found it impolite. The person on the window shouted something and disappeared inside, sounds of furniture being moved around reaching their ears. Moblit groaned, rubbing his temples.
A few minutes later the same person who had half their body out of the window came out from the main doors of the hospital. Levi discreetly stepped away, not wanting to be involved with the newcomer and the imminent events. He really wanted to go back to the privacy and tranquility of his own home, drink a nice cup of tea…
An excited exclamation followed by a strident laugh broke Levi’s long desired daydream. He watched their eccentric approach, wondering how their guests would react to them. Judging by how the delicate Princess gasped at anything that came running and loud, Levi guessed it would not go right. Mike silently joined him, crossing his arms as he, too, observed the catastrophe about to happen.
“Bets?” Mike’s low murmur made Levi snort.
“She will freak out.” Levi turned his head to amusedly stare at his fellow warrior. “Like she did with you.”
Mike scoffed, crossing his arms.
“C’mon, not you too. And I say she doesn’t, just to spite you.”
“Hah! Serves you right, you big-nosed moose.” Levi’s gaze fell back to the front.
“It was not my intention.” it truly hadn’t been. He couldn’t help it, Mike trusted his nose, knowing his instincts never failed him before. He had to know.
“Just, don’t go sniffing people.”
“I will not make such promises.” Mike’s lips curled into a smile, proud at the way he managed to make Levi’s shoulders briefly shake.
Both warriors kept watching the scene in front of them, with Moblit trying to save the situation from their beloved doctor’s clutches, quickly directing their attention to himself and his words. Everybody knew that Moblit had a reserved spot on their Goddesses’ paradise; nobody worked as hard as him, and was as skilled to manage the village’s resident genius doctor.
“Your Highnesses, it is my pleasure to introduce you to our doctor, Hange Zoë. They are the head of the hospital and–”
“IT IS PLEASURE TO MEET, HIGHNESSESES!” Hange cut the poor and exasperated Moblit out, excitedly looking from one sibling to the other. The royal hosts were surprised at the doctor’s broken Gottesreichan attempt, albeit enthusiastic.
Flora successfully covered an amused snort. Ardor! Fervor! Passion! Flora admired that in a person, and for now, Doctor Hange Zoë managed to catch her attention. The handmaiden was sure she could learn interesting things from this eager physician, and secretly wanted to see how Eva would react. It reminded her of her first week as the Princess’ handmaiden, chasing a scared and overwhelmed Eva down the corridors as she tightly clutched one of her precious books, wanting to volt out of any situation that involved a loud and chatty girl following her everywhere. Flora realises know that she had been a little bit insensitive to her poor friend, but in her defense she just wanted her Princess to live.
The eccentric doctor went from sibling to sibling, offering their hand for them to shake. Prince Hans took it surprisingly well, smiling warmly and shaking the offered hand with what would be considered a perfect grip, confident and secure, while Hange still kept letting out broken gottesreichan, not giving any thought to the mistakes. Friederich was confused, and as such, shook his hand with the same sentiment as he was feeling; the second Prince felt as if a strong wind knocked him out of his feet and all he could say was “huh?”.
But ah, Eva. Poor Eva. She had brief flashes of her childhood with Flora, of an overexcited girl running after her as she talked, and talked, and talked… until Eva began to enjoy her extroverted nature and secretly thanked her for dragging her out of her room or the library. But still, Doctor Hange Zoë managed to scare the living daylights out of her with their excited gasp and sparkling eyes. Eva clutched the Chief’s arm in a deathly grip for the second time that day.
Hange offered their hand out too, but then seemed to think about it. Did princesses shake hands too? Was it protocol? Well, Hange never truly cared about protocols, to be honest, Moblit usually took care of that. So maybe it was too forward? Should Hange bow? Did they thoroughly screw up in their eagerness–?
Eva raised her hand and took Hange’s as her brothers did, Forcing herself to paint a warm smile on her lips.
Her father and governess’ voices were screaming inside her head, louder than her own heartbeat. How dare you shake hands with a commoner, you, a princess of Gottesreich? A princess should never shake hands! Commoners must bow, must kneel, must–
“The pleasure is mine, doctor Zoë. I am afraid I do not know any word of Eldian yet, but thank you for your efforts. I hope to learn soon.” Eva would follow her brothers’ lead for now, as they discussed on their journey to Eldia. Father was not here. Father did not understand. If Eva was to settle here to start a new life and end it here, she could not start fights and discontent because of her father’s pride. It was the smart thing to do.
The coarseness of her father always upsetted her, even if she swallowed her discontent, not wanting to repeat that night.
Hange’s uncertain face instantly turned into a bright smile. They didn’t screw up! The doctor turned to say something to the Chief, who in return gained a brief smile. Then, Hange returned their attention to the siblings.
Levi was rendered speechless. He lost the stupid bet! Levi was sure the Princess would freak out upon Hange’s overly enthusiastic greetings, judging by how she had reacted earlier with Mike and his antics. He didn’t dare to turn to his left to see Mike’s moronic moustache smiling smugly at him.
“You owe me.” Mike’s grin could be heard in his voice.
“Shut up, you giant tree.” Damn it!
“Want come in? Show house?” Hange signaled to the main entrance of the Hospital, already thinking about the tour they would take the royal siblings and show how amazing their inventions and discoveries had been.
Should Eva say yes? No, that was arrogant of her, she couldn’t decide on a whim what or what to not do, even less without consulting it with her brothers or the Eldian leader. Didn’t the Eldians also have an itinerary already made for today? The people on the streets and outside the hospital were staring at them, curious about the scene in front of them. Eva was getting nervous. their stares were suffocating her, their attention adding more weight on her, her mind scrambling to find an appropriate response–
Moblit intercepted before Eva could begin, quickly saving the moment.
The Princess was grateful for it, feeling the weight of the decision on her shoulders diminish; she restrained her relieved sigh from escaping her lips, though. Moblit would handle it, thank God above! With a pang of pity in her heart, Eva watched Hange go from thrilled to crestfallen as Moblit spoke. Now she felt bad, knowing for sure they had the best intentions in their heart. Maybe the detour wasn’t that bad…?
But Hange immediately returned to their cheerful self.
“Must come other day! Question Erwin about it!” Hange clasped Eva’s hand in theirs, that exhilarated spark back in their eyes. “Must show you fun things!”
Eva pressed her lips into a tight, nervous smile and nodded, hoping it would be enough to quench Doctor Hange’s eagerness. Too forward! Too forward! Was this also an eldian thing? It seemed to do the trick, as they went back inside the hospital when an assistant called them from the door and enthusiastically waved goodbye.
“Apologies, your Highnesses.” Moblit deserved a raise and long vacations. It had been only a day, but it was clear for the gottesreichan guests that the poor man dealt with a lot, and it seemed that Doctor Hange occupied 80% of it. “I must ask for you to forgive Doctor Hange’s lack of protocol and take no offence by it. The Doctor really enjoys meeting new people and telling about their discoveries and new remedies.”
“No offense taken, Moblit. I’m sure Doctor Hange can make it up to us by showing us what they are so excited for, right?” Hans was genuinely interested, always asking the doctors and physicians back at the palace about everything, going as far as reading some books, although he understood half of it. He truly wanted to know Doctor Hange’s thoughts.
“Honestly, I’m curious now.” Friederich scratched his nose, mumbling. Hans sniggered, lowering his voice so only his brother and her sister’s handmaiden could hear him.
“You, willing to listen to non-battle-related things? Who are you and where is my dear brother?” Flora snickered, covering her mouth.
“Oi!” Friederich’s ears went red at the tips.
“We will have to come tomorrow, then.”
Moblit approached them, always with his calm smile on his face.
“May we continue, your Highnesses?”
Only when they resumed their tour, hearing Moblit talk with her brothers and the Eldian warriors escorting them, did Eva realise how Doctor Hange was wearing glasses.
Saying Eva was scared was not enough. Terrified? Frightened? Petrified? There was no adjective to describe the sheer terror those beasts instilled inside her heart. Those were not horses. No horse could be that monstrous size. Nope. No way.
She didn’t even reach the horse’s chest! And even one leg was as thick as her whole body! How did they even suppose she could get on one of them?
They were led to the village’s stables, where the stable hands and grooms had horses ready with their saddles. Each one of them had a different saddle pad, beautiful Eldian embroidery and motifs of golden and white thread on a teal fabric, most of them resembling the ones from the village’s houses, the themes of the needle work being mostly of mother nature herself. The leather of the saddles were beautifully taken care of, going from darker to lighter tints of brown, no doubt the artisans made a good work of the dyes and its delicate processes.
The horses looked healthy, robust and ready to be ridden by their masters. If Eva wasn’t as scared as she was, she would be admiring the animals and the pure strength they exuded.
Friederich was getting more invested into this part of the tour than the previous one. Yes, Eldia was beautiful and curiously different, but for Friederich, it was still boring; he had never been good at diplomacy and pleasantry visits. He had always heard of Eldia’s monstrous steeds, and was delighted to see such enormous and sturdy stallions, powerfully built and vigorous. You could see the raw power in them, and couldn’t wait to see what it felt to ride one of them. Maybe he could convince the Eldian Chief to trade some… Surely his enemies would piss themselves upon seeing a beast such as this charging against them. Yeah, maybe he could, preferably at the evening banquet. Now was not the time.
This was an important ritual for the Eldians.
Moblit gracefully explained how this was considered crucial when two souls got engaged in Eldia. Hunting was part of their culture, a huge one, and they would not bring shame to their traditions and ancestors. It was an art, and the Eldians deeply respected nature and what it provided for humankind, so the solemn air was palpable. For Eldians this was a trial, also. Those who proposed to their lovers would have to hunt a magnificent piece for their betrothed, to both show that they could provide for them and also have the strength, patience, wit and endurance used in hunting that would prevail in their lives.
Since the Chief was getting engaged to the Princess, he had to prove himself to her, so she would accept and approve of her future husband. This ritual held even more importance for who was performing it, and the villagers were actually curious about how well would their Chief perform; sadly, some couples had to use all three attempts to succeed. They hoped the Chief would succeed at his first try.
For Eva, it was basically a show to see how much of a peacock the man could be, not that different from those in court who would fawn themselves and their achievements to win her hand, and what came with it. Bitter? Maybe so. She was just tired of men, but would respect the Eldian tradition. After all, traditions were traditions, and one should always honour them, no matter what.
For Flora, it was just like her beloved romantic novels. A man proving their worth to their beloved? Man versus Beast? Oh, how she wished thatfor herself! Maybe one day she would find love here, in Eldia. Who knew what the future awaited for her?
“As tradition says,” Moblit spoke. “The future bride and groom must ride together, as the willingness of their souls to start a new journey.”
Eva froze.
No way.
No.
There had to be a mistake. She thought she would ride in a small carriage with Flora, as the men rode and discussed their matters. Her dress wasn’t suited for riding!
On cue, one of the stable hands brought a magnificent white stallion, it’s crest carefully brushed and not a single tangle and bit of dirt on it. It was bigger than the other horses, robust, and Eva understood now what people meant when they said pets and horses resembled their owners: a horse truly fit for a Chief; it had to be his judging by the proud look the man had on his eyes.
The beast patiently stood right in front of them, not showing an ounce of nervousness or uneasiness. How Eva wished she felt the same. She just wanted to bolt right out of there.
The Princess felt the Chief turn towards her, and automatically released her hold on his arm, although he kept her hand in his, gently guiding her towards the Chief’s own stallion. Eva didn’t want to get closer, even less mount on it. She was terrified! They stood in front of the beast’s head, admiring the noble profile and long golden lashes it had. Eva saw the Chief affectionately gaze at his horse, giving it a tender stroke on its muzzle. He looked back at Eva, inviting her to do the same, but the Princess remained rooted, frozen on the spot. The Chief nudged her to pet the stallion’s head by lifting her hand himself, slowly, always watching her reactions closely— the Chieftain knew he was pushing her, but Erwin believed this would help her lose a little bit of her fearful first impression.
Eva watched, between a mix of horror and wonder, how her gloved fingers brushed the horse’s muzzle, its heat warming up her palm. The stallion didn’t even flinch at the change, letting itself be pet. Eva was amazed, transfixed, not even aware of the Chief’s gaze on her. Slowly, a sensation of relief washed all over her body, feeling more secure now that the beast showed no trace of nervousness upon seeing a new face. Eva even let herself release a small smile, even though her heart was still pounding fiercely inside her chest.
More horses were brought to them, each warrior taking the reins of their own steed, as well as new horses for the Princes to ride. Friederich was beyond excited, eyes going from head to rear of the enormous beast he was lent to ride. He looked like a child in a candy shop back at the Capital.
Everyone waited for the Chief to mount first, as tradition dictated. The solemn air felt like a pressing stone on the Princess, not truly knowing what she was supposed to do besides having to ride with him. Should she say something? Perform a certain move? But the Princess stood rooted there, letting her never-fading anxiety begin to swallow whole again.
The Chief prepared himself to mount on, grabbing the pommel with his left hand and easily hoisting himself up when he set his foot on the stirrup. Every move he did looked effortless, as if even a child could do that with their eyes closed. If they thought Eva could achieve such levels, they were going to be thoroughly disappointed. The Chief extended his hand to the Princess, signaling her to come closer and join him on the horse.
The question is: how the hell is she supposed to get on it?
Moblit did not give any clues or hints about it, and everyone respectfully watched as the Princess approached the Chief with small steps. The Eldian leader never looked away from her, and she truly reminded him of a scared fawn.
What came next was a blur for the Princess. One moment she was standing right beside the Chief, timidly taking his hand and raising her other one to try to reach the pommel as the Chief did, her foot raising too to set on the lowered stirrup, and on the next moment Eva found herself being lifted as if she weighted nothing, strong arms pulling her up, easily turning her so she sat astride the horse with her back pressed against his chest.
Eva couldn’t focus on anything but the feel of his broad and strong chest snugly pressed against her back, despite the layers of thick clothing and cloaks between them. Eva did not pay attention to everyone else getting on their horses, or how Friederich couldn’t help the boyish grin on his lips, or how Flora turned beet red when she was made to mount on the same horse as the second Prince of Gottesreich, her confident and self-assured attitude gone for a moment. She couldn’t, not with how the Chief righted her stance with gentle hands, or how he straightened her own dress skirts and cloak without being prompted to do so, or how he guided her gloved hands to the crest and horn, so she had something to hold on to, even if the arms that caged her in wouldn’t let her slip and fall. The cold was forgotten for a moment, as well as her nervous tension.
Prompting the beast to an easy gait, the Chief led the party outside the stables and onto the main street. That’s when Eva snapped out of her trance and quickly ventured a look towards her handmaiden, seeing her grip the crest of the horse she was on with red cheeks. Both women crossed looks, twin bewildered expressions greeting each other. Eva silently cheered for her friend, but was too occupied herself with her own troubles to even waggle her eyebrows to tease her handmaiden.
This was going to be a long day.
The main street greeted them with the eldian villagers gathered on the sides of it, creating a passageway of curious and expectant faces. Everyone looked like they were waiting for a signal, eyes glued to the Chief’s horse and its riders, fingers and feet fidgeting. When the Chief and the Princess passed the first bystanders, the whole wide street exploded into cheers and shouts and blue.
The villagers threw flowers on them and the horses’ hooves, smiling and clapping as they passed by. Eva recognised the winter flowers from before, the same she wore now on her braid, and watched the villagers cover the entire street in a mantle of blue and white. The Chief did not turn to greet or answer them, keeping his head and eyes straight ahead in a solemn show of respect towards their faith in him. That’s when Eva understood this was part of the hunting ritual too, bidding farewell and good luck to the couple about to engage in the ritual. So, to not be disrespectful towards their culture and traditions, Eva did the same, looking straight ahead towards the main gate, into the sky blue path. A flash of the Chieftains’ eyes crossed her mind. The same blue.
A/N:Third chapter LET’S GOOOOOO– We are getting more into the plot of the story, Erwin being Erwin and Flora being the absolute best girl in the whole universe.
Gotta love Flora.
CHAPTER 3: DANCING WITH THE DEVIL
Both the Crown Prince and the Chief ordered their remaining men to step outside too, asking for absolute privacy. Everyone but Moblit left.
Friederich let out a loud sigh, taking a long gulp from his goblet to drown the image of their beloved little sister pleading them to not leave her alone. They sadly had to, it was safer for her this way. The Chief refilled it, the Prince thanking him with a nod.
“Now you understand what we meant, right?” Hans laced his fingers together, resting his arms on his knees.
“Father has had his claws on her for far too long.” Friederich stared at the wine in his goblet, frowning displeased. “Too long.”
He forgot when it was the last time his little sister genuinely smiled.
“I do, your Highnesses. And I swear to you both, and to the Goddesses, that she will be safe here.”
“This wouldn’t have been possible without your help, Erwin. You really don’t know how grateful we are to you, and for accepting our only request.” Hans looked directly at the Chief’s eyes.
“This is the safest place for her to be while the other stages of the plan happen.” Erwin took a sip of his goblet, eyeing both brothers as he awaited for Moblit to finish translating. “Your father won’t dare urge us Eldians to fulfill our end of the deal until the marriage happens. For now he waits, and that is when we must act. Sadly time is of the essence, and we cannot waste any of it.”
“Truly a race against time, huh?” Friederich crossed his arms, not wanting to let any negative thoughts cloud his mind and sully his purpose.
“Yes, a race we must win.” Both brothers understood now why the Eldian Chief was both feared by his enemies and deeply respected by his allies. His determination was contagious, and even if they had all the odds against them, they felt that they could truly win. This is how his warriors must feel on the battlefield, ready to give their lives following his orders as they fought side by side.
“Our sister–” Friederich insisted, his fingers twitching.
“My warriors will protect her. The chances of having an entire army mobilised here are very slim, especially considering their General is here, and that the troops are loyal to their General, before their King.” Erwin motioned with his hand towards Friederich. “And I suppose if it was inevitable, I would have a word of warning to prepare a scheme to avoid our armies confronting each other, wouldn’t I?”
“Still, it’s a big gamble. Even for you.” Hans replied, taking a sip from his goblet. “We should consider all chances.”
“He knows his chances.” Friederich leaned back on his chair. “Don’t you?”
“I’ve always been a man of big gambles.” The Chief’s chuckle made Friederich snort. “But rest assured–”
“This is our sister we are speaking of, not only Gottesreich.” From the two brothers, Friederich had always been the hot-headed one, and wouldn’t hesitate to say a piece of his mind when his little Birdie was concerned. “Harmony has been broken, Father has gone too far in his madness, and this is our only chance to do something, yes.” Friederich leveled the Chief with a hard stare. “But for me, my sister comes first. She’s an innocent in this, screw the Kingdom if any harm comes to her, screw Fa–”
“Friederich.” Hans fixed his eyes on his brother. A warning.
“I understand your feelings and concerns, Friederich. I do, and I share the same sentiment as you.”
“She is not a pawn to be sacrificed in any stage of the plan. This is why she is here.”
“I know. Trust my warriors.” Erwin’s determined glint in his eyes settled any doubts the younger Prince may have had.
Some said he was a master strategist, others a mad genius leading an army of demons. Friederich believed he was both, because you had to be brilliantly crazy to pull stunts as they had pulled before and be victorious each time. His warriors would follow him to the ends of the known world and Friederich deeply respected that.
“We will right the wrongdoings done to this world by the hand of our father. We only wished we realised sooner what his plans were.”
“You realised it in time, enough to do something.”
“We hope so, Erwin.” Hans had a somber expression on his face, really wanting to believe what the Chief said. “We hope so.”
That seemed to conclude their private meeting, seeing both brothers to their respective rooms in the guest houses. The Chief retired to his own too, soon to be shared with his fiancé, before finishing some matters concerning the evening banquet.
As he stepped into the wooden tub filled with warm water, releasing a pleased groan as he lowered himself further into it and felt the tight knots in his back loosen, he couldn’t help but to still think about their little talk with the Princes and the Princess herself.
There was so much work to be done. They were only in the early stages of their plan and so many things could go wrong. Erwin was not stupid, he knew every plan had its risks, but they made the hard work worth it. It was worth it. The three siblings were the key to change the course of the three nations.
Hans was going to be a good King. Down to earth, just, always willing to protect his people and their happiness. He had a great responsibility on his shoulders as the Crown Prince, but Erwin felt more at ease knowing one day he will be the one sitting on the throne of Gottesreich. The Crown Prince despised greed.
Erwin deeply respected Friederich, both as a General who had the trust of his men and as a fierce soldier with a big heart. Those were qualities appreciated in Eldia, since you had to understand life in order to take one in battle. Friederich always honoured his enemies, and Erwin knew that if they ever had to cross swords in a battlefield, it would be a good, honourable fight.
But that wasn’t the plan, no. If it all came together in the end, they would be side by side.
As he let his head rest on the edge of the tub, Erwin’s mind wandered towards the third of the Gottesreichan siblings.
Erwin would be an absolute blind fool if he didn’t agree with what the whispers and rumours said; the Princess was a beauty. Elegance, gracefulness, perfect manners, a lovely face… everything needed to survive in a court and its poisoned, claustrophobic walls. But he would never forget the way she looked absolutely terrified at the prospect of being alone, and Erwin couldn’t blame her at all. It would shake anyone to their cores to be ripped off their homes to be then thrown into an unknown territory. But there was also something else hidden deep under those layers of fear, another reason than a change of culture.
With her doe eyes and delicate features, the Princess reminded him of a scared little fawn.
Erwin only hoped she would lose her fear and be happy here, to be her true self without her father’s strings manipulating her every movement and word. It will be tedious and Erwin will have to use his entire patience, but he was positive he would succeed.
The door of the private bathroom opened without a warning, Levi stepping in with a confident stride and uncaring of Erwin’s nakedness. He closed it with his foot, not even turning back to properly do so, and took a stool to sit down on it. Erwin knew it would be futile to stop Levi from saying what he had on his mind, years of friendship proved him that, and that displeased frown sometimes said more than words.
“This is a terrible idea.” Levi crossed his arms, glaring at the man in front of him. “Are you sure about this, Erwin?”
The Chief chuckled. Levi’s frown deepened.
“Ah, straight to the point as always.” Erwin closed his eyes, feeling Levi’s agitated ones on him. “I am sure.”
“What made you think marrying that Princess will help Eldia?” Levi wasn’t happy about this decision he took, but he knew that deep down Erwin must have a good, important reason to do it. Or maybe not. This was Erwin, you never knew what he had in mind. “Or maybe you want kids now? Don’t tell me it’s that, you bastard. You could have chosen any Eldian woman, they’d be more than happy to do so.”
Erwin couldn’t contain the burst of laughter that escaped from deep in his throat.
“Rest assured, Levi, it’s not kids I want.”
“Then what? It’s Gottesreich we are talking about. Gottesreich and the mad, greedy King. Do you really want to be associated with that?”
“She will help our cause.” Erwin heard Levi sigh. “Thankfully the brothers think so too, the people of her Kingdom have a special spot for her, and that plays to our advantage. Let’s better leave the Mad King thinking he got a stupidly, unbelievable good deal and that he won us, uncultured barbarians, over. You know what they say,” Ah, there it was. That dangerous, cunning glint in his eyes. “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”
The Chief and his insane gambles. Levi scoffed.
“You already have planned multiple ways to use her and her ties to the Mad King, haven’t you?”
“You make me sound like an uncaring monster, Levi. But I wouldn’t endanger her at all, that’s not part of the plan.”
“Sometimes you are, dipshit. When you have a plan and are adamant to carry it on, nothing will stop you.” Erwin placed his hand on his chest, chuckling and lowering his head as if he was hurt.
“You wound me.”
“Asshole.” Levi kicked the tub.
“But she isn’t here to be used as a pawn.” That caught Levi’s attention. “She is here for her safety. If she stayed any longer in her Kingdom, she would have her pretty head chopped off or worse. Here she has a second chance.”
“So that’s the deal with her brothers, then? Their sister?”
“That was their only selfish request, that only one life was to be secured at any costs, even over their citizens.”
“Huh. I see. So we are babysitters now.”
“You could put it like that, or also you could think of it as an opportunity to see a beautiful flower bloom, besides the enrichment and merging of our cultures. Don’t you want to expand your knowledge?”
Levi’s brow twitched.
“You are twisted.”
“And you are twisting my words. I meant this,” Erwin tapped his temple. “Our little Princess there is not just a pretty face. I want to see what she is capable of.”
“Huh.”
“I know that behind those scared eyes lies intelligence and knowledge. One time Prince Hans told me she would go with them on diplomatic visits, and how she would take over one day when he was King. She has the skills. She’s observant, or haven’t you noticed?”
“I guess, although today she looked mostly like a frightened mouse, or haven’t younoticed?”
“Ah, indeed I noticed. Do you blame her, though?”
Levi looked at his feet, sighing.
“Not at all.”
Both men remained in silence, going through today’s events. Their lives would drastically change from now on, and Levi wanted to believe it was for the good. Erwin’s voice grabbed his attention again.
“Let’s try our best to make her feel welcome. Everyone would be scared to be in a foreign land with no known faces, no knowledge of the language, only knowing your fate is sealed and you cannot do a thing about it.”
“I think your eyebrows are what scares her the most.” Levi snorted, rising up from the stool. “Although I know other things will scare her more when she sees them.”
“Oi, there’s nothing wrong with my eyebrows.” He splashed a bit of water towards Levi’s direction, knowing how his childish behaviour often set his right hand’s man nerves on edge. He also didn’t want parts of his anatomy discussed while he was, well, naked. Levi deserved a bit of water.
“I hope your kids don’t have them.” It was Erwin’s turn to snort.
“Rude.”
“Get out before you look like a raisin. I bet the Princess won’t kiss you then.” Levi grabbed a towel and threw it at the Chief’s face. “Go take a shit and make yourself presentable. You should take her around the town.”
“We better let her rest, it has been a long journey for them.” Erwin left the towel on a nearby stool. “I will take her and her brothers tomorrow to see the town.”
Levi shrugged his shoulders, walking to the door.
“Be on your best behaviour.” Levi rolled his eyes, not sparing a glance towards the Chief. Levi knew he would have that infuriating smirk on his lips.
“I’malways on my best behaviour.”
“Absolutely.”
Erwin watched Levi shake his head and sigh, exiting the bathroom and leaving the Chief snickering and alone with his thoughts.
There were so many things to prepare for his change in his daily life in the upcoming months. For once, he would have to share his house and make room for whatever needs and space the Princess may have.
And tidy.
Erwin scratched his chin, knowing he really should pick up his clothes and take them to get cleaned before Levi lost his patience and set fire to them. Also pick up the maps and books invading every flat surface available. Change the candles, store the seal wax in its rightful place…
Yes, many things indeed.
Erwin let himself submerge slightly into the water, sighing.
///
“This is a nightmare.”
“Oh c’mon, you big dramatic oaf. Look at the bright side of it, he is handsome! And strong! I want one of them myself!”
“Flora!”
“What? I got eyes and I’m not made of stone! Did you see the sizeof him? I bet he can lift a cow without breaking a sweat.” Flora brushed her Princess’ hair, perfectly detangling and separating the strands to prepare it for the hair style she had in mind, and greatly enjoying her friend’s flustered cheeks. “And he will say to you: “Oh, my Princess! Look at these arms!”, and then will rip his tunic off–” Flora dropped her voice trying to imitate the same pitch as the Chief’s one, and also flexing her own arms as if she was displaying her own inexistent muscles. “And say: “Princess, tonight I will—“
“That table— sturdy, let me tell you. But ah! He has good fingers!”
“FLORA.”
The handmaiden snorted, followed by a good-hearted laugh. She resumed brushing the Princess’ hair, already thinking what pins to use this time for the braid and bun.
“I know you had to be the beacon of virtue and holiness for the Kingdom, an example to be followed, but us women are curious and have our needs also. What’s wrong in having a little bit of fun? Haven’t you been curious yourself?” Flora’s smile reassured Eva. Sometimes Eva felt like her handmaiden was a caring big sister, and felt comfortable enough to discuss thoughtsshe had that never would dare to say aloud.
“I…well.”
“…I know about those forbidden books under your mattress.”
“Then you know the answer.”
Flora’s loud laugh echoed around the room, needing to leave the brush on the vanity and having to clutch her belly. Eva’s cheeks increased their red glow, pointedly ignoring Flora’s outburst. Certainly those who came from the countryside weren’t as lawful to the Holy Scriptures as the ones nearer the Capital or the Palace itself.
Once Flora managed to calm down enough and wiped away tears, she resumed her work, expertly braiding the Princess’s long hair. It always soothed Eva, the way her handmaiden gently manoeuvred her hands and fingers without a harsh and painful pull. Flora said having two whinyyounger sisters made you learn fast.
“Hmmm,” Flora tied the braid with a ribbon for now, tapping her finger on her chin while deep in thought. “I was thinking that for tonight’s banquet you should look… exquisite. But distinguished. But making sure our darling Chief cannot take your eyes away from you.”
“Youare enjoying this, aren’t you.” Eva rose a delicate brow, looking straight at Flora’s honey eyes through the mirror. Flora snickered, turning around to the multiple open trunks and luggage.
“Of course I am!” Flora rummaged through one of the Princess’ trunks, pulling out a dress. “What about this one?”
“Which one?” Eva turned around to see which piece was Flora holding in her hands. “The red one? Maybe it’s too much… The cleavage and open shoulders—“
“It makes a statement. Our Chief won’t be able to concentrate on anything else but you.”
“I really don’t want to draw too much attention to myself, Flora. You know how much I despise it.”
“You will draw it regardless of what you are wearing, my darling Princess. Sadly you are new, and everyone wants to see the novelty.”
“I know…”
“So let’s make them look and drop their jaws when they do.” Flora’s eyes brightened at her own words, a fire burning in them.
“I wish I had your confidence.” Eva sighed looking down at her hands.
“Oh no no no—” Flora left the dress on top of the bed, walking next to her Princess and holding her face in her hands and squeezing her cheeks. “Do not give me that speech!”
“Whut Fwlora—“
“Not buts! Show them what the proud, brilliant and beautiful Princess of Gottesreich is capable of!”
///
“This was Flora’s doing, right?”
“You know there’s nothing one can do to stop her once she’s set on something.” Eva sighed, hearing Hans chuckle.
“Fierce woman.” Friederich replied, smirking.
“Indeed.”
“You will thank me later, your Highness.” Flora’s smug smirk made Friederich snicker.
Hans knew her sister’s handmaiden was a hurricane. Stubborn as a mule, also. But had the biggest heart and best intentions. He still remembers when Flora came to the palace to start as a maid, a twig of a girl but with a big smile and endless energy. Chatty, too.
She was perfect for quiet, reserved and shy Eva. He also remembers how Eva would hide behind curtains or a tree because she was not prepared for her new extroverted maid. Now, as they grew, they both turned to be exceptional women with an unbreakable bond. But Flora still pushed Eva to get out of her comfort zone quite often, much to the Princess’ dismay.
The dress did cause a statement.
Once she removed her cloak upon entering the Great Hall, rearranged now to be filled with long tables and so much food it made the royal siblings’ eyes widen, Eva’s shoulders were openly displayed, as well as her long neck and collarbones, the dress neck line following a V ending in the perfect spot to either not be a vulgar display of cleavage and being cheeky enough to intuit what was underneath. It fit perfectly to her body, Flora made sure of that when the royal tailor came to take her measurements. It really was a beautiful and warm dress, velvety to the touch and thick enough to compensate for the open area. It also had embroidered motifs of leaves and flowers decorating the neckline and long sleeves, and a beautifully crafted belt made by the best Gottesreichan artisans that accentuated her waistline. Flora named it the “Jaw Dropper”. Eva scoffed at the name, thinking of how silly it was, until she wore it one day at court and had to admit the nickname suited it just fine.
Like now.
Needless to say the Chief was shocked to see skin revealed, considering how covered and bound the Princess was earlier. A quick look to the Princess’ handmaiden, who stood behind her and not even making an effort to contain her pleased smirk, made the Chief know who was behind the sudden wardrobe change.
The Gottesreichan entourage were led to the main table, as etiquette dictated for being their guests of honour. Flora was being led to another table as they approached their seats, and the thought of having Flora alone and away filled Eva with dread. She wanted Flora with them, secure with her own people, and also to have someone to help make this moment more bearable; Flora always made everything better, especially boring banquets, and the handmaiden thoroughly enjoyed them, and well, sometimes making fun of some lords. That was refreshing, even more when she had to fake smiles and politeness when all Eva wanted to do is lie down on her bed with a book.
Disregarding everything she had been taught, surprising herself even for her own selfish actions, Eva sought Moblit. Father wasn’t there to punish her now, and hoped Hans and Friederich understood her.
“I’m terribly sorry to be a burden, Moblit, but I have a request to make if it is not much trouble.” the warrior in question raised his brows. Seeing how the Princess was fidgeting with her fingers and was trying to hide it, Moblit encouraged her with a smile.
“What can we do for you, Your Highness?”
“I’d like to have my handmaiden, Flora, seated with me. I know protocol dictates otherwise, but–” Eva really hoped it would be possible. She felt her brother’s stares on her and was making her even more nervous. “I’d really appreciate it, if possible.”
Moblit looked surprised, but nodded, still maintaining his smile.
“Do not worry, Your Highness, it’s not trouble at all.”
The way the Princess’ face illuminated itself with a smile shocked the man, and hurriedly went to fetch the handmaiden in question. Flora looked at Eva and then at her supposed spot on a table near the main one, but followed Moblit nonetheless. Eva was glad she decided to ask for her, because they seated Eva next to the Chief and wasn’t sure she would have survived if Flora had not been by her side.
The handmaiden was giddy, usually having to sit on the other tables and entertain herself with the other guests while the Princess dealt with Princes and Lords; Flora recalled those times the Princess would roll her eyes whenever they crossed their gazes and both women had to hide their smirks behind their drinks. Flora knew she wouldn’t have had any trouble in making friends as usual, despite the lack of language between her and the Eldians. Eva often called her a social hurricane, besides a menace when Flora had ideas.
“This looks delicious, doesn’t it?” Flora looked at the table once they were seated and people started chatting, stopping herself just in time from whistling in amazement. “So much food! They certainly didn’t fall short on it.”
“It does.” Eva sat more rigidly than usual, the closeness with the Chief getting on her nerves. She tried not to raise her voice too much, but had to agree with Flora. “The vegetables look very fresh.”
Eldian servants poured wine to the goblets and left the decanter on the table, busy with the work they had ahead.
“Careful with it, it’s… strong.” Eva looked at her own goblet with dread. She did not want to repeat her performance from before.
“That’s because you cannot hold alcohol, Princess.”
“That’s not true.” Eva knew she sounded like a petulant child.
Flora was about to retort, but was stopped by the Chief getting everyone’s attention by standing up and grabbing his own goblet. The room became silent, everyone focusing their eyes on him. Moblit silently moved to stand behind the Gottesreichan guests, ready for when their Chief spoke up.
The Chief’s strong voice boomed, speaking so everyone in the room could clearly hear him. Eva was still impressed at how his voice reminded her of rumbling thunder on a summer’s storm, and how easily he filled any room with his presence. Eva knew many nobles and princes who wished they had such a commanding presence.
Moblit’s voice made her tear her eyes away from the man.
“People of Eldia, rejoice! For tonight we celebrate and welcome a new member of our tribe. Tonight marks the start of a new stage in our lives and history, the union of two cultures. Please, welcome Princess Eva into your hearts, as she is to become my wife in the upcoming months.”
The Eldians intently listened to their Chief, some nodding, some gasping with excited smiles, some crossing their arms in a display of concentration, some with skeptical frowns. The Princess dreaded the last ones, especially when the attention of the Eldians was shifted to her, their gazes and murmurs not helping the wreck of nerves inside her guts. She will have to be careful with those who weren’t compliant with such news. Eva was not stupid, she knew not everybody was going to be happy and excited to see her here, even less marrying their leader, to become his wife. Surely they all expected someone else, but certainly not her. It was not a secret that Gottesreich had enemies across the continent, and Eldia wasn’t exactly on good, perfect friendly terms with the Holy Kingdom. Eva only hoped her presence here would smooth sore bumps and begin more friendly exchanges between nations.
The Chief turned to her, gesturing to his left with his hand. His eyes didn’t leave hers as she took her cue to gracefully stand up and bow to those who were to become her new people, raising up more murmurs. Flora always told her how her stoic and impassive face amazed her, even though she knew the Princess was a mess inside every time she had to face public speeches and banquets, but remained calm on the outside, not giving away one single thought of hers.
Tonight she really hoped it was the case.
“I propose a toast.” The Chief raised his goblet as he kept talking, while Moblit kept translating. Everyone went to do the same, grabbing and raising their goblets up high. The Chief turned his palm up, offering it for the Princess to delicately pose her own on it, her heart beating wildly inside her chest as the Chief closed it in his grip. His hand was massive. “For this union, for my future wife, for the good of Eldia! May the Goddesses Maria, Rose and Sina bless our guests! Praise the Goddesses!”
“Praise the Goddesses!” The roar of the Eldians was deafening, and everyone cheered in unison as they heartily drank as was customary.
Eva swallowed down her grimace as the wine touched her tongue and went down her throat, scorching as it did earlier. The Chief squeezed her hand, and Eva realised it was slightly trembling. Her husband-to-be was looking at her, unreadable as before, as he let go of her hand and Eva tried to not yank it back to her side in a panic; for him to witness such weakness was embarrassing. Eva left the goblet on the table and sat down as the Chief did, careful of the dress skirt. This was going to be a long night. Moblit went back to his seat on the Eldian side of the table, but not without pausing to whisper “you did well, Princess” to Eva. That was comforting.
“See? Cannot hold it at all.” Eva’s earrings slapped her jaw from the force of her head turning to fix a stare at Flora. Eva ignored the sting.
“Oh, stop it! I told you it’s strong!”
“Do you want me to remind you of that time, at Prince Zeke’s birthday party, where you–”
“No! Shush! Don’t remind me!” Eva turned her head towards the front, raising it with as much dignity as she could and a slight blush dusting on her cheeks. Not that night, Eva swore she let out even her first meal as a mere babe. It had been horrible. Flora had to hold her hair while telling another maid to get her water and a calming tea to settle her stomach. She did not dare step out of her rooms for the entire morning.
“Hmm?”
“…Okay, you are right. I cannot hold it. Satisfied?”
“For now.”
“Don’t make me regret this.” Eva sighed as she took her napkin. It was a nice fabric, Eva was surprised.
“As if! You already have to thank me, the Chief hasn’t taken his eyes from you.”
Eva froze, venturing a quick look to her right to see how indeed the Chief was glancing her way while sipping on his drink. He seemed amused but also as if he had his mind thinking on something. Eva hastily returned her gaze to her plate.
“Told you it would work!” Flora’s smug shake of her head made Eva sigh.
She was right. It did work.
“Don’t worry Birdie, I’ve seen princesses and nobles shoving their bosoms to everyone’s faces with their dresses.” Friederich leaned in, catching his sister’s attention with a cheeky smile. “You are safe.”
“See? Even Friederich here agrees with me! You have to show off that beautiful neck of yours!”
“Take some mercy on my poor sister, Flo.”
“Hm,” Flora drank from her goblet, leaning back on her seat. “Only because you asked nicely.”
“You both,” Hans’ voice rose. The three of them looked over at the Crown Prince calmly cutting some meat from his plate. “Behave. And Eva,” Hans looked at Eva with gentle eyes. “You did good today, I’m proud of you.”
Hans’ smile and praise warmed Eva, happy of today’s efforts being noticed. She achieved to keep making her brothers proud, and hoped her father would be too. A timid smile rose to her lips.
The banquet passed without much more trouble, but Flora kept talking and made the Princess be out of her silent shell. Eva didn’t know if to feel relieved or saddened for not being able to communicate with the Chief, as one would do in any banquet with your dinning partner, but Eva pointedly tried to avoid looking at him, although she once or twice looked to his side for guidance when some Eldian dishes were presented and she had no idea how one was supposed to eat that. The Chief was patient enough to show her when she looked lost, and Eva kind of wanted to groan in embarrassment and thump her head on the table at the thought of what must the Chief think of her, even unable to eat without guidance as if she was a child.
The desserts were delicious, though.
As the night continued, some Eldians began dancing in the center of the Great Hall to the lively tunes the band played on a corner. They cheered and laughed loudly, inviting others to join and spin around the improvised dance floor. Those who weren’t dancing yet, followed the rhythm of the music with the clapping of their hands and thumping of feet on the floor, singing along.
The air was cheery and happy, contagious even. Some warriors went to the center of the floor, like Mike with that female warrior from before. Even Moblit was dragged to it by an excited warrior with a wide smile and sparkling brown eyes. The Chief remained on his seat, enjoying the jolly atmosphere of his people having a good time. Levi kept refusing people coming to ask him for a dance.
Eva watched fascinated at the Eldian dances, so different from those back home. They were not afraid of bodies touching bodies, hands clasping and hugging, spinning, jumping… it was as if a joyful spell had been casted on them. Even Flora joined, and Eva was really not surprised at that, when an Eldian approached her. Flora was torn for a split second, not wanting to leave the Princess alone, but Eva nudged her, begging her handmaiden to have a good time on her behalf. So there she was, dancing and spinning and laughing as the Eldian man tried to follow her pace. Eva couldn’t help her smile, enjoying her friend having a good time.
As the night progressed, more people joined and changed partners as others took a break. Knowing how Friederich loved to dance when he was at foreign banquets, Eva did not try to feign surprise or shock when he took Flora to join him in a dance as she had come back to take a break too, this time shoving her to her brother’s arms, whispering “go go go!” for only her to hear. Eva considered this payback for the dress, raising a brow with an almost imperceptible smirk as Flora sent her a dirty, flustered look her way when Friederich twirled her around. Her smugness fell when the Chief’s voice rumbled beside her, Moblit translating for him as the poor warrior managed to take a seat again after his dance partner let him.
“You don’t dance, Your Highness?”
Oh dear. Oh no. He was asking for a dance?
“My deepest apologies, I wouldn’t want to expose my lack of gracefulness in front of my Lord. I am not acquaintanced with the dance moves or songs, and I’m afraid also I only know Gottesreichan court dances.”
Hans watched intently at their interaction, curious as to what her sister was going to do to get out of that one. Normally he would come to her rescue, or Friederich or Flora, but from now on she had to be on her own. The Chief answered and Moblit translated.
“I can teach you.”
Hans saw Eva swallow. There was no way she was getting out of that one, poor thing.
“I–I really don’t want to cause any embarrassment on you–”
“I was told you were a good dancer, though. I’m sure you are a fast learner too, Your Highness.”
The Chief stood up, his form towering over her as he offered his hand. Eva quickly looked at Hans, as if he would try to save her at the last minute, but he pointedly looked another way. Traitor! Eva didn’t have any other option but to accept the invitation and spend the most distressing moment of her life, for now. She heard Levi scoff and shake his head, saying something loud enough for the Chief and Moblit to hear, making the big man huff amusedly and Moblit to sigh.
People were staring, and Eva saw Flora encourage her with excited nods and smiles, mouthing “Go!”, and then “Like the summer solstice dances!”, at her. Friederich fixed a stare at the Chief as he saw his hand settle on the Princess’ waist after guiding Eva’s hand on his shoulder, holding her free hand in his own. The Chief smiled at her, trying to reassure the Princess as he squeezed her hand, and Eva had two swallow down a noise as she noticed how his hand engulfed her own. Even her waist felt small in his grasp.
The Chief gently guided her through the first steps of the dance, swaying and hopping to get used to it, and Eva felt clumsy like a newborn colt trying to follow him. Her nerves were not helping at all, too focused on the feel of his hand on her waist and back, its warmth scorching even through the thick layers of the dress, or the way his chest pressed against her back when the Chief tested the waters when he made her twirl through a step of the dance. Eva maintained her eyes locked on the Chief’s, as one should do when dancing with a partner, and Eva was sure the Chief could clearly see her anguish in them at the thought of either stepping on his foot, or being a poor dance partner, but he only saw genuine amusement in them. Maybe she was not doing that bad.
The music picked up a faster rhythm again, the banquet attendants getting back to their conversations and dancing partners, although curiously keeping an eye on the spectacle of having the Chief dance with the Princess. Eva could feel her uneasiness slip away, her confidence swelling at the thought that her trembling hands hadn’t given her anxiety away, and allowed herself to move more freely. It was as Flora said, a dance like the summer solstice dances from Gottesreich where you let joy and music guide you and your partner. Still, the Eldian way of dancing was more wild, less bound and constrained, and more light on the feet, loose.
Feeling how the Princess was less strained and rigid, the Chief increased the speed of his movements too, following the band’s rhythm. He was enticed by the way the skirt of the dress flowed, reminding him of a flower in full bloom moved by a slight breeze, and the way her cheeks were reddened by both the efforts and her own nervousness.
The Chief felt bold, wanting to see how much he could push and test the Princess’ limits for tonight, and encouraged by the clapping of the people and the increased tempo of the song pushing the dancers into a more frenzied section, nearing the end of the song, the Chief made the Princess spin before picking her up in the air. He could see how both his hands practically swallowed her waist, fingers almost brushing against each other, and heard both the excited cheers and whistles from his people and the Princess’ startled gasp, frantically searching a place to find purchase for her hands, finally settling on his shoulders and tightening her grip for dear life, feeling his thick muscles underneath. She was light as a feather, and the thought greatly amused him. The Chief spun them around once, setting her back on her feet and continued to dance, Eva needing to ground herself to the fact that The Chief picked her up as if she weighed nothing, besides the boldness of the act itself. This was unthinkable back at court!
The Chief did it again and Eva wanted the earth to swallow her whole at the tiny, undignified squeak she let out as if she was a scared little mouse. Eva swore she saw him chuckle and the Princess pulled her lips in a tight line, fighting for her cheeks to not redden further.
The song was reaching its climax, the musicians wildly playing their instruments in an intense performance, and in a final spin and hop of the dance the Chief pulled the Princess close, ending the dance with their bodies pressed against each other and not taking their gazes away, staring intently into the other.
The Great Hall erupted with applauses and cheers, everyone taking a moment to step away from their partners, conversations and food to congratulate everyone in the room. Eva was panting, acutely aware of how her chest was squished and pressed against his own as he too tried to regain his breath, hands still clasped together and his other one on her small of the back. Her fabric felt flimsy and thin to her now, as if she was too exposed to his gaze, and Eva wanted to curse Flora for it; she did not need to look down to see how they were pressed upwards, Eva felt it.
Thankfully he stepped back, probably by the murderous glower of Friederich thrown his way, and released her as he respectfully bowed. Eva did the same, lifting her skirts and returning his courtesy. He then gestured to their seats, and Eva was never more grateful or in agreement with the Chief as she was now. She urgently needed to take a seat and process everything. Flora and Friederich did the same, the handmaiden excitedly sitting down and intently looking at the Princess, ready to open her mouth. The Chief speaking stopped her.
“I knew you were a fast learner, Your Highness. It was a beautifully performed dance.” Moblit translated, and both women saw the Chief nod at them both with a pleased smile before drinking from his goblet.
“Thank you for the dance, my Lord, I’m honoured.”
“Although, I never thought a mouse could make such adorable noises.”
Eva wanted to scream.
///
Eva still had the memory of the Chief’s hand on her body, like a scorching imprint deep in her mind. Eva swore her skin still tingled from the contact, even if she was in her nightgown and staring at the unfamiliar ceiling. Her fingers were nervously braiding and unbraiding her hair, going over today’s events and banquet.
Flora was already out like a light, her deep breaths signaling how deep into her slumber she was, and Eva could not blame her. Flora truly tired herself dancing, and Eva did not have the heart to tell her to behave, that was Eva’s job. A perfect pretty puppet. Flora did not represent the virtuousness and regalness of the Holy Kingdom, and Eva preferred it that way; Flora was a free spirit, and Eva would rather have her fly like a free bird than have her caged as herself in her duties.
This was to become Eva’s new life here, living amongst demons. Different place, same cage.
The Princess was not looking forward to the walk around the village that the Chief proposed for tomorrow morning, much preferring to stay in her rooms and scream into her pillow until her vocal chords were sore. She also wasn’t eager to go on the customary hunt the Eldians performed for their brides and grooms in the forest. Whenever Eva had to tag along the hunting trips back at any court, rolling her eyes internally at the nobles and princes showing themselves like peacocks, she was bored out of her mind. The Princess usually sat down at the picnic blanket spread out on the grass and under a tree’s shadow, drinking her cup of coffee with the other ladies and Flora. Eva always zoned out, answering with monosyllables and enough words for the other conversing partner to not feel ignored, as she gazed at the flowers or birds.
Sighing deeply, Eva let go of her hair and shifted to her side, facing the window.
