Don’t Tell Bruce (Part 1)

What will you (Batmom) let your children do that your stubborn, buzz kill, extremely sexy husband Bruce Wayne aka Batman won’t? Well read on to see!

Each kid will be broken down into sections, so it will be like a bunch of mini stories!

This was requested by @colombia-chan !!! Hope y’all enjoy!

And sorry this is going to be in two parts. Apparently there is a text blocks limit so I couldn’t fit everyone on one post. Part Two

——

Dick (12)

“Please can I get a pet?” Dick pleads with puppy dog eyes.

Bruce looked up from his paperwork sighing rubbing the bridge of his nose, “No Dick.”

“Why not?” He questions with a slight whine in his voice.

“Because (F/N) and Alfred will end up taking care of it.” Bruce crosses his arms over his chest shaking his head back and forth.

“I promise I’ll take care of it.” Dick pleads in a last attempt.

“No.” Bruce starts back in on his paperwork. Dick pursers his lips tightly and leaving Bruce’s office upset.

——

“Can I get a pet?” Dick ask hands behind his back not looking into your eyes.

You place a hand on your son should gently smiling, “You can but you’ll start with something simple.”

“Like a puppy!” Dick exclames happily jumping up and down.

You wave your hands back and forth signaling for him to calm down, “No, a fish. It will teach you basics of pet care without the shedding of a dog.”

Dick thinks about for a second, “Okay but I want a cool fish.”

“Just don’t tell Bruce, and with a fish he probably won’t notice.” You say smiling at your son who had already grab your purse and keys. Guess you were getting that fish now.

Barbara (22)

“I just want to borrow the old computer system for a week.” Barbara pleaded with Bruce. Her system was to old and her new one wouldn’t be ready for a week.

“You can borrow it.” Bruce replies motioning to the old system.

“Sweet.” Barbara pumps her fist in the air.

“But in the Batcave.” Bruce adds on turning back to do whatever he was working before Barbara had come down.

“What that’s not fair. You never going to use it again. What’s the harm of me taking it.” Barbara crosses her arms glaring at Bruce’s back.

“I don’t care.” Bruce replies blocking out everything around him.

——

“Can I borrow the old system?” Barbara asks you after you came down to the cave and Bruce head back up.

“You can have it. Bruce got a whole new bat computer system, the old one is going to collect dust.” You gesture to the computers not wanting Alfred to have one more thing to have worry about cleaning.

“Really?” Barbara questions eyes lighting up.

“Yes, the computers need to go. It took me three months of convincing to get rid of the last old ones. I’m not dealing with it again.” You sigh at that memory; it took you moving into a different room in the manor for him to get rid of the last. And you didn’t want a repeat.

“Thanks your the best.” Barbara gives a hug.

“Don’t tell Bruce right away. I’ll take the heat.” You hug her back smiling.

Jason (21)

Bruce was siting at his chair working on a case when Jason had come to ask him if him and Tim could go a road trip. That idea was shot down pretty quick.

“Come on B it’s just a road trip.” Jason says trying to not yell at Bruce.

Bruce cross his arms over his chest not giving in. “Your not taking Tim on a road trip.”

Jason gives one more attempt to convince him, “It’s called brotherly bonding.” Bruce was big with on his kids getting along.

“No.” He turns around in his chair and goes ack to typing away at the bat computer.

——

“So can Tim and I take a road trip?” Jason asks drinking tea with you on the back porch.

You place your tea cup down on the table, “You and I both know this is about the weapons smuggling ring.”

Jason’s eyes widen spiting the tea in his mouth out, “How did you…”

“Tim asked me first. You can go just take pictures so you have a semi-decent alibi.” You smile at him with an all knowing look in your eyes.

“Thanks and good idea.” Jason smiles at you whipping the tea from his chin.

“I know, don’t tell Bruce I knew.” You wink at him.

Cass

“I only want to borrow the care for a date.” Cass says following Bruce through the manor.

“I don’t care.” Bruce doesn’t even look back at as he flips through a case file.

Cass matches his stride and looks up at him, “Your not the boss of me.”

Bruce snorts giving an almost laugh, “I’m your father so close enough.”

——

“Can I use the car to go on the date with Duke.” Cass ask you before you start your weekly reading lesson.

“You mean the undercover operation you two don’t want Bruce to know about then sure.” You question smiling picking a new book from the seemingly endless collection in the Wayne Manor library.

Cas looks at you suprised, “How did you find out?”

“I was talking to Duke and saw the reflection in the mirror of the file.” I respond shrugging your shoulders sitting down on the couch next to her.

“You can read backwards.” Cass states still surprised.

You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly smiling at your daughter. “I have many talents.”

“Thank you.” Cass smiles at you.

“Don’t tell Bruce, bring the car back without a scratch or we both will be in hot water.” You laugh nervously opening the book.

Warning - Babies and mention of breastfeeding

Requested by Anon -  Saw that requests were open and I thought of a cute batfam imagine. Reader is a single mom with a newborn baby girl and surprises the boys by coming home for Christmas and Alfred helped decorate the living room and reader helped cook and basically spend her baby’s first Christmas with her family and Bruce and the boys get all emotional or something also Happy Christmas!

Author’s Note - This request came in on Christmas Day, so I thought I’d squeeze it in. Sorry, it’s late.

***

Alfred smiled, watching the boys and Cass set up the living room for the holidays. He didn’t get to decorating himself this year, but it was a good activity to keep the rest of the family busy and out of the kitchen while he prepared Christmas Eve dinner. 

When he passed Bruce’s office, he paused to see Bruce inside with his face in his hands. He was holding the photo of you and your newborn baby girl that you had posted on social media a few days ago. It was a joyous occasion, the birth of his first grandchild. Of course instead of being happy, Bruce chose to sulk at the fact he didn’t even know you were pregnant. He also started investigating to find out who the father was when he found out you were going to be a single mother. 

Alfred shook his head and kept walking toward the kitchen. He hoped Master Bruce didn’t ruin this new peace between you and the family. The phone rang once he was inside the kitchen. He picked it up quickly, smiling as he knew who it was. “Hello, Wayne residence?” 

“Alfred, it’s me.” He smiled at the sound of your voice. “I was wondering if you could send someone to get us. My car broke down and now we’re at a gas station where we got towed to.” You sighed. Alfred frowned at the strain in your voice. “I know me showing up was supposed to be surprise, but I…well…I can’t really afford a ride there.” 

“Of course, Miss (Y/N). What is the address?” He picked up a pen, writing it down as you told him. “Are you in a warm and safe place?”

The baby fussed softly on your end. “Yeah, we’re fine. I’m inside the gas station with a cup of hot chocolate.” You laughed softly. “Thank you, Alfred. I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you, Miss (Y/N). I’ll have one of the boys there soon.” He hung up the phone and left the kitchen to go the the main family room. The tree was up, and most were decorating the tree. Jason was sitting on the couch, watching them. Alfred smiled, coming over to place a hand on Jason’s shoulder. Jason tensed, sensing he was just volunteered for something. “Master Jason, come with me please.”

The others laughed. “Shut up.” Jason growled, getting to his feet and following Alfred out of the room. “What’s up, Alfie? Need my help in the kitchen?”

“No, Master Jason.” Alfred handed Jason the address. “Take one of the cars, go to this address and pick up something for me.”

Jason frowned, eyeing the address. “Okay? Can I take any car?”

“Anything is fine. Be back in an hour at the most.” Alfred shooed Jason away. “Call me if you have any questions.” 

“Right.” Jason left. Alfred smiled before going into the kitchen. They’ll still be surprised, even if it wasn’t the way you and he originally planned.

***

Jason pulled into the gas station. He checked his phone on the dashboard. The address was right, but what did Alfred need from a gas station?

He parked the Audi in one of the parking spots outside and grabbed his phone. Frowning, he got out to look around.

“Jason?” He tensed, spinning to find you standing in the doorway of the gas station with a big smile on your face. “Hi.”

“(Y/N)?” A wave of pure joy washed over him as he ran to hug you. He spun you around, making you laugh. “Why are you here? Where’s my niece?”

“She’s inside.” You sighed once he set you down. “I was coming today as a surprise, but then my car broke down and we got stuck here.” He led you back inside when you shivered. Your baby was in her carrier, still fast asleep on the table you were sitting at while you waited. 

Jason peeked inside at her. “Look at you, princess.” He whispered softly, touching her cheek. She turned her head, opening her mouth to try to find something to suck on. He chuckled. “She’s beautiful, (Y/N).”

“Thank you.” You glanced between them, sneaking a photo of the two with your phone. 

Jason pulled himself away from her. “Give me your keys. I’ll move your stuff into my car while you two stay in here and keep warm.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you said, handing him your keys when he didn’t relent. “Thanks Jay. I honestly had no idea what we were going to do.”

“I got this.” He kissed your cheek. “I’ll come get you when I’m ready.” Jason was about to head out when you grab his hand. He turned to look, noting the panic, strained look in your eye. He knew that look well. “What?”

“There’s going to be a lot of stuff.” You blushed, your eyes on his forehead. “Just don’t judge me, okay?”

Jason snorted. “I’d never judge you.” He leaned over to kiss your cheek, squeezed your arm with his hand. “I got you now. Everything will be fine.”

“Thanks Jay.” You relaxed slightly. Jason led you over to take a seat before heading out to your car. It was an old, rusted piece of crap. He wondered how you even got this far in it. Inside was suitcases, boxes, and garbage bags. He sensed you coming for the holidays might be more than just a visit. Taking a deep breath, Jason pushed aside his curiosity and began to move your things into the Audi.

***

“Al, did you throw Jason out or something? I can’t find him,” Tim asked, poking his head into the kitchen. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath of the delicious smells from inside. 

“Master Jason is running an errand for me.” Alfred basted the turkey again and closed the oven. “He should be back in the next half an hour or so.” 

Tim hummed, stepping inside the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, taking a carrot from the serving tray Alfred had out for them to snack on. “Bruce is still brooding.”

“He’ll snap out of it soon.” Alfred smiled when his back was turned to Tim. 

“I don’t know if he will. He’s bothered by the fact (Y/N) had a baby by herself on top of trying to live on her own. I’m worried about her too.” Tim munched on another carrot. “I kept tabs on her. Her finances are in shambles.”

Alfred’s mouth went dry. Suddenly, it made sense. Maybe that’s why you reached out after three years of almost silence? Desperation. “Well, I imagine we’ll have to see for ourselves after the holidays.”

“I’m worried about the baby too. Bruce paid off her hospital bills, didn’t he? I heard he sent the hospital a check when he saw the photo on (Y/N)’s Instagram.” Tim took yet another carrot. Alfred turned. Tim had a furrow in his brow. “I’m scared for her, Alfred. It’s hard to be a single mother especially now days.”

Alfred reached over to pat Tim’s hand. “We’ll help her as much as we can.” He smiled when he heard Jason shouting that he was home with a Christmas present for everyone. “I believe Master Jason is home.” 

Tim grinned, getting to his feet and jogging out of the room. Alfred paused to wash his hands. He frowned slightly as he wondered if what Tim had said was true. The few emails and calls you made to him over the years did sound like you were struggling slightly. Troublesome living situations, having multiple jobs at the same time. He did send you money a few times as well especially when you found out you were pregnant.  

Alfred dried his hands and followed the noise to the main entryway. You were being hugged by Dick while Jason held your baby. Cass and Tim were peeking at her, cooing softly. Damian stood back with a scowl. “Miss (Y/N), I’m glad you made it.” Alfred opened his arms for you. Dick let you go and you ran to Alfred.

“I’m so happy to see you.” You held him tight, hiding your face in his shoulder like you used to do when you were younger. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome, Miss (Y/N), but you don’t need to thank us.” Alfred rubbed your back, feeling his shoulder dampen from your tears. “Collect yourself, Miss (Y/N).”

You sniffled, pulling away from him to wipe a few tears with your sleeve. “Sorry.” You smiled. “Do you want to meet your great-granddaughter?” You turned, taking your baby from Jason. The others followed you, still waiting to get a good look at her. Alfred took the baby into his arms, sighing at how beautiful she was. 

“She looks so much like you, Miss (Y/N).” Alfred chuckled, rocking her gently.

“TT, she’s a Wayne. Of course, she looks like her.” Damian crossed his arms. You blinked at him before ruffling Damian’s hair. He gasped, batting your hand away. However, a hint of a smile pulled at his lips. 

The baby slowly opened her eyes. Alfred smiled, seeing how beautiful they were. A little hand came out of the blanket she was wrapped in. Perfect little fingers and delicate fingernails. “Is Dad here?” you asked, wringing your hands.

“He’s in the study, brooding.” Dick chuckled, nudging your side as Cass gave you a hug. “You should probably go let him know you’re here. Otherwise, he’ll never come out.” 

“Cool.” You bit your lip. 

“I’ll watch over your daughter. Go talk to Master Bruce.” Alfred smiled, knowing you would be the only one to get Bruce out of the office and to join the rest of the family. 

“Thanks Alfred.” You shared a look with your siblings. “If I’m not out in twenty minutes, send Titus to save me.” You winked at Damian before slipping out of the room.

“May I?” Cass held out her arms for the baby. Alfred smiled and handed her over. Cass gasped at her niece. cooing at her softly. Alfred glanced toward the direction you went, hoping your conversation with Bruce would go well.

***

You knocked on Bruce’s office door. Nerves ate at your stomach. Shame made you feel hollow inside. You never planned to have to come back to your father like this, but life happened. 

“I’m not in the mood to be lectured, Alfred,” Bruce said inside. 

You smiled sadly before opening the door. “It’s not Alfred.” You almost laughed when Bruce fell out of his chair at the sight of you. The one and only time you surprised him. “Hi Dad.”

“(Y/N).” Bruce got to his feet, staring at you in disbelief and worry. “How…why are you here?”

You bit your lip. Your heart pounded like a jackhammer. “I came for Christmas. Alfred said I’m always invited and I figured I should since I wanted everyone to meet my daughter.” You swallowed the rest of the reason. The fact you needed money and you were homeless. That you wanted your daughter’s first Christmas to be somewhere warm and safe with people that loved her.

Bruce’s lips twitched. You tensed, knowing you probably didn’t hide it as well as you thought. “I’m glad you’re here.” He slowly came to you, opening his arms. You felt a tear slid down your cheek as you ran into his arms. He hugged you tight and for the first time in a long time, you felt secure. 

A sob slipped out of you. You buried your face in his shoulder. Bruce rubbed your back, humming to soothe you. “You’re okay. I’m here now,” he mumbled, rocking you gently. 

“I’m so sorry.” You gasped, letting out all the stress and tears you held in for so long. “I didn’t mean what I said when I ran away.”

“I know.” Bruce kissed the top of your head. You sobbed hard, your entire body shaking. “I’m proud of you. You made your way on your own like you swore to me you would.”

A lump formed in your throat. “No, I didn’t.” You sniffled, looking up at you as you felt another wave of tears come. “I had to work three different jobs just to stay in a small room in a house with five roommates. Even then, I was barely making it. Then I made a mistake and got pregnant. They kicked me out of the house after she was born and I had to live in my car.” You pulled away from him to rub your eyes with your sleeves. “Then when I came here, my car broke down and I was so scared that someone would find out and take my baby away.”

Bruce blinked. “We’ll figure that out now.” He took your hand and led you to sit down on the couch. “You’re not in this alone, (Y/N). You never were.”

“I said I didn’t need you. That I wished you weren’t my father,” you coughed, choking slightly on your tears. “How could I dare come back to ask for something?”

Bruce hummed as he handed you a tissue. “Sweetheart, did you honestly think I wouldn’t help you? I’ve kept tabs on you, even paid off your hospital bill.” You flinched in surprise. Now it made sense why they haven’t called you about your first payment yet. A weight lifted off your back at the thought.

A loud cry came from somewhere in the house. You got to your feet. “I think she’s hungry. I better go.” Bruce stood with you. 

“I’ll come with you. I’d like to meet my first grandchild.” He smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “You can stay here as long as you like, (Y/N). We have more than enough room.”

Fresh tears came to your eyes. Your hormones were still out of whack. “Thanks Dad.” The two of you left to follow the sound of your daughter’s cry. 

***

“(Y/N), your stocking is still in here too,” Tim said, holding up the stocking you had since you were little. You smiled as you adjusted your daughter under the breastfeeding cover. The whole family was in the living room, snacking on cookies and veggies. Bruce sat on the couch with you, waiting for your daughter to finish eating so he could hold her again. 

“Wow, I guess Alfred never did throw things away.” You laughed. Tim hung up your stocking on the mantle with the rest of the family’s. 

Alfred clicked his tongue. “I guess we’re missing one member of the family now.” He reached into a bag and removed a brand new stocking with your daughter’s name on it. You gasped, tears filling your eyes again.

“Aww, thank you, Alfred.” You swallowed hard, glancing down at your daughter. She fell asleep with your nipple in her mouth. You moved her gently out from the cover and handed her to Bruce while you covered yourself.

“Cute.” Cass took it and hung it up with the rest. “Whole family.” 

You smiled, glancing at Bruce to see him cooing softly to your daughter as he rocked her. Alfred secretly took a picture. You knew you would find it framed somewhere. “Alfred, can I help in the kitchen?” you asked when you saw him hand the camera to Tim to take more secretive pictures. 

“Of course, Miss (Y/N).” Alfred nodded, gesturing for you to follow him. 

“You got her, Dad?” you asked, glancing back at Bruce who’s eyes were only on his little granddaughter.

“I’m good.” Bruce looked back at you. “Don’t worry.” You nodded and left the room.

“Miss (Y/N), if you could start on the pie filling for my special blueberry pie.” Alfred moved to check the turkey in the oven again. You grinned, finding the bowls where they have always been. 

It brought back memories of other Christmases where you and Alfred made blueberry pies. You were the only one to know the recipe since the others were always too busy to learn. “Of course.” 

Alfred turned on the radio and the two of you worked silently. You finished the pie, sliding it into the oven as Alfred took the turkey out. “Can I help?” Dick asked as he peeked around the corner of the doorway.

“Set the table, Master Dick. Dinner should almost be ready,” Alfred said with a smile. You peeked at the turkey, the smell making your mouth water. It was a long way from the cans of cold beans you had been eating the last few days. 

Alfred handed you a bowl of steamed vegetables. You smiled, going to join Dick in the dining room. “Hey sis.” Dick smirked at you as he carefully set plate mats down.

“Hey yourself.” You rolled your eyes as you set the vegetables down and moved to help him. “How have you been?”

“Good, considering.” Dick bit his lip, eyeing you. “I wish you would have called me if you were in so much trouble.” 

You frowned, pausing with a stack of plates in your arms. Jason must have mention it to him. “I was trying to do it on my own, Dick. You know about that.”

“Yeah.” Dick gave you a half-smile. “But we made a pact to always look out for each other.”

You snorted. “That was when you were eleven and I was ten.” 

“Still applies.” He reached over to squeeze your elbow. “Just remember I’m always a call away.”

You rolled your eyes, heart warmed by his words. “This goes both ways, you know. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

Dick nodded, letting his hair fall into his eyes. You set the plates down to brush it away. “For example, if I want cuddles from my niece, you better be there.”

“I’m sure I can make that work for you.” You laughed, hugging him tight. Dick hugged you back, lifting you up. “I missed you, Dick.”

“I missed you too.” You buried your face into his shoulder. “You guys have to stop making me cry.” 

Dick laughed, spinning you around. “Can’t help that.” 

“Careful with the dishes,” Alfred scolded with a smile as he came in with the bowl of mashed potatoes. You and Dick laughed, spinning faster. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed so much.

***

Once dinner was done, most of the family left to go out into the city on patrol. You, Alfred, and Damian were the only ones left. Alfred and you wrapped presents on the living room floor while Damian stared at your daughter who was fast sleep in a portable sleeper Alfred had dug out of somewhere. 

Alfred nudged your arm, nodding over to Damian. You smirked over at him. Everyone thought it was odd that Damian didn’t go on patrol with them. You sensed what he stayed for. “Damian, did you want to hold her?” You got to your feet and went over to sit next to him.

“TT,” he huffed, blushing slightly. You picked her up. She whined slightly before settling back down. 

“Hold your arms like mine.” Damian copied you, sitting flat on the floor. “You have to support her head, and hold her close to your chest.” You handed Damian your daughter. He tensed when he felt the little life in his arms. 

“I can feel her heartbeat.” Damian had a shadow of a smile on his lips. 

You smiled and moved back to wrap another present. Damian held her stiffly for a while until eventually he started to rock her. Alfred sneaked a photo of the two. You shared a smile with him, pretending not to watch them. Damian held her until she woke up crying for another meal.

***

You headed upstairs with your daughter in your arms. “I have your old bedroom opened,” Alfred said, following you. 

“Thanks Alfred,” you whispered as you walked down the hall toward your bedroom. It was next to Dick’s old room and across from Bruce’s. Inside was almost untouched except for the fresh sheets and the bassinet in the corner. “Wow, you left it the same.” 

“Well except for a few additions.” Alfred moved over to the bassinet. You went over and gently laid your daughter down inside. “I’ll need more time to open up the nursery.”

“You don’t need to do that, Alfred.” You bit your lip. Guilt haunted you. Everyone was making such an effort for you. “This is enough.”

Alfred took your shoulders and turned you to face him. “Miss (Y/N), let us help you. This is your home. It is open to both of you.” Your lips trembled. Alfred pulled away before you cried again. Stupid hormones. “Now go to sleep.”

“Good night, Alfred.” You watched him go with a stray tear running down your cheek. The relief you felt was endless. No matter what your daughter was going to be taken care of in the best way possible. 

***

“Wake up, (Y/N),” Jason whispered in your ear. You moaned, opening one eye to see your brother smirking at you in the bright morning light. “Breakfast is ready and there are presents downstairs.”

You turned to bury your face into your pillow. “Jay, my daughter was up three times last night, please let me sleep.” 

Suddenly, your blankets were gone and you were scooped up into Jason’s arms. You shrieked, smacking his shoulder. Jason just laughed and carried you out the door. “Wait, my baby.” You reached back toward the room. 

“Cass has her. She picked her up before I woke you up.” Jason carried you downstairs. You relaxed, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Then I forgive you.” You kissed his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Jay.”

“Merry Christmas, sis.” Jason brought you to the kitchen and sat you down at the breakfast table where the rest of the family was waiting. You searched for your daughter, relaxing when you saw Tim had her. “Can we eat now?” Jason asked, taking the seat next to you.

“Now we may.” Alfred set a giant plate of waffles in the center of the table. “Merry Christmas.”

Everyone dug in. You filled your plate and looked around the table. It felt so strange to be home, surrounded by family. You glanced at your daughter who was passed back to Bruce. He rocked her and met your eye. You smiled back at him, glad you took that chance to reconnect with him. Taking a bite from your plate, you sighed and were thankful for everything this family could give you and your daughter. 

Synopsis : The story of the heartbreak brought by the dreaded news that one of your son just died…

Hello everyone. Long time no see☺️ Was very busy IRL (in a good way), but I don’t intend to stop this blog anytime soon. So here’s a story. Angst in coming haha. As usual comments and other reblogs are always very welcomed ! Hope you’ll like it: 

My masterlists :@ella-ravenwood-archives

TW : Angst, death of major characters 

_________________________________________________

You wanted him to shut up.

You’d do anything for him to not utter another word.

Punch him in the face with all your might. Leave and never come back. Duct tape his mouth, or force him to close it with your hand. Sing loudly as to drown his voice. And if only you were able to speak yourself, you could scream at him to shut up. 

Shut up, Bruce, shut up. 

Just shut up. 

You’d do anything for him to stop talking. For you not to hear what he’s about to say.

If only…

If only you were able to move. To speak. But you couldn’t. You were frozen on the spot, unable to stop the disaster that was bound to happen. 

If only this was a dream. 

If only…

You’d wake up, and tell him about this awful nightmare you had. About how you wanted nothing but for him to shut up because you knew that he was going to announce a tragedy you weren’t sure you could handle. 

But this was reality. And he was right in front of you. And you could do nothing, but listen to what he had to say. 

“Jason…”

You could feel your legs buckle under you, as if they just turned into cotton. And you couldn’t control them. You couldn’t control anything. A fuzzy dark fog took place in your brain, knowing exactly what was about to happen, while at the same time refusing to accept it. 

But you knew. 

You knew what he was going to say. You knew ever since you saw him come back alone, his face emotionless. A face he would make only when in great distress himself, trying to tuck away his emotions in order to survive through the crisis. 

He only kept this emotionless attitude around you when the situation was dire. When he felt the worst. So you knew. You knew what happened.

And you didn’t want to hear it.

“Jason…”

Thanks God Alfred was right next to you, or you would’ve fall.

You grabbed the butler’s arm, and he catches you.

He knows too what your husband is about to say. He knows too, how broken you two are going to be, and he knows he has to be strong to try and mend you back together.

And so when your weight falls on his side, your surrogate father catches you.

He’ll always be there to catch you.

Bruce finally says it. After his explanation of how the Joker got your boy…He finally says it. Those few dreaded words.

“Jason…Jason isn’t coming back.”

He tries to stay stoic, to not bow down. To not fall apart, to not feel overwhelmed and destroyed by the death of his son. 

He tries to stay strong, for you.

But he cannot hide the sadness filling his eyes when he looks at you. He cannot hide the guilt he feels, as he came back without his son. Your son. 

He tries, really hard. Because he can’t break right now. But it’s hard. It’s too hard. And what he thinks will follow makes it even harder. 

You’re shocked. And devastated. 

And he waits.

He waits for you to regain a semblance of your senses. He waits, trying to stand tall, for you to…get mad at him.

Furious, because it is his fault you lost your son. 

He waits for you to come to him, and hit his chest as hard as you can. He waits for you to let your hatred for him flow. He waits for his sentence, as he committed an irreparable crime. 

It’s his fault your son died. His son.

He should’ve never allowed him to become Robin, never. It was so selfish of him. Dick left, and went to do his own thing, and he found Jason and…The boy was so enthusiastic. So happy to be there. So eager to please, and be part of your life. Part of bettering Gotham, too, knowing full well how much the city needed help. 

Bruce couldn’t resist him. Couldn’t resist that pumped little boy who wanted so desperately and wholeheartedly to help. He trained him, took him in as his son.

And now he was dead. And it was all his fault.

You pull away from Alfred, wiping tears off of your cheeks. The man you came to see as your father hands you a handkerchief, and you take it, trying to dry the ever flowing stream of salty tears coming out of your eyes.

You finally take a step away from Alfred, and look at Bruce.

Your eyes are so full of pain and misery that he cannot hold your stare. He bends his head down, trying as hard as he can to remain stoic. Wrongfully thinking that he has to be the strong one. That he has to endure everything on his own. 

He feels you coming close to him, and he’s ready for you to hit him with all your strength. To yell at him that it is his goddamn fault if Jason was gone.

You’re right in front of him.

His eyes close automatically, awaiting your well deserved hate towards him…
Awaiting for the last bits of his heart to be trampled on, as he’s sure he earned your loathing.

But instead… 

He jumps at the feel of your hands on his cheeks.

You force him to rise his head, to look at you. There’s so much sadness in your eyes that he feels like his heart is going to burst, but there’s also…determination ?

He doesn’t understand why one of your hand strokes his cheek while the other tangles in his hair. He doesn’t understand why you drag him down to you, so your foreheads are touching.

He doesn’t understand why you’re not yelling at him, why you’re not trying to hurt him…With a broken voice that makes you wince, because it’s filled with grief and hopelessness, he says :

“I killed our son…”

It’s barely a whisper. You can hear him only because you’re so close to him.

Your fingers massage his scalp, you know he always found the gesture soothing. Although in this instance, maybe he didn’t even notice it…

With your other hand, you brush his mouth with your thumb, and bring him ever so close to you. Flush against your body. His arms automatically wrap around you, and his head buries itself in your neck.

“I killed our son…”

He repeats. And you can’t take it anymore. Tightening your grip in his hair so he doesn’t look away, the hand that was on his cheek moving to go around his shoulder, you say :

“No. Bruce. No.”

“But I…”

“It isn’t your fault. It isn’t anyone’s fault but the Joker’s. He’s the one who took our son away. Not you. Hell, if you’re guilty then I am too, I didn’t do anything to stop him from going out there as Robin either…”

“You’ve got nothing to do with that ! I won’t allow you to even think about it !”

“Then it’s not your fault either. It’s the Joker’s. You know it is. It is his fault. His.”

The anger rising in you scares you. You can’t allow such feelings to install themselves inside you. And yet…you see it happen with frightening clarity. 

Bruce’s voice brings you back to reality :

“It is still my fault. I am…”

You shut him up with the softest kiss on his lips, trying to convey to him that no, no he’s not responsible for Jason’s death. It’s the Joker. It’s all him. He killed your beloved son. It is hisfault. He has to pay.

You feel the furry climbing inside you, how it overshadows even your sadness.

Turning your grief into hatred. You want to kill him. You want to kill the Joker…

God, you want to annihilate him so bad. 

But you know it’s not the solution.

You know it’s exactly what that psycho wants. And Bruce does know it too. He can feel your anger as well, and inside him, it’s a turmoil of emotions.

In your arms, he understands though.

He understands that he cannot kill the Joker for what he did to his son. Because if he does, then not only did he lost his boy, but also his soul.

If he kills the Joker, then the clown wins. Everything the Joker ever did was to taunt the Batman to kill him. He will not give him this satisfaction.

For Jason. And everything that boy stood for. 

He cannot let that happen. For Jason. He’ll never let that happen.

He won’t let the Joker win.  

He can feel you loosing all your strength in his arms, and he goes down on his knees with you, holding you tight against his heart.

“It is not your fault my love, it is not your fault…”

You repeat that for hours and hours. You repeat that until he almost believes it.

Here, on the floor of the batcave, you repeat it, while you hug him with all your might, and let him burry his face in your neck. 

He needs it.

He needs to let go. You make him understand he doesn’t have to be strong with you. He just lost a son. You just lost a son.

He doesn’t need to be strong all the time. And certainly not when with you.

“We…we lost our son…”

His voice cracks, and finally, his tears run freely, his arms strengthening around you, bringing you even closer to him. You let him. Of course you let him. You let go too. And together, you let your grief run fully out of you.

You can feel at some point Alfred coming close to you, wrapping the both of you in a warm blanket. Even in pain he makes sure you don’t catch a cold…you want to tell him “thank you”, but all you can say is :

“It’s not your fault.”

To Bruce. Over and over again. Holding him close. And he almost believes it.

You repeat those words, until you’re both too tired, exhausted because of the sorrow, and the heartache you felt.

“We just lost our son…”

************

It was the same nightmare all over again.

Jason came back to you years ago. It took him a long time to forgive you and Bruce for not killing the Joker. It took him ages to realize why you didn’t do it. And though he finally understood, the boy he used to be, the cheerful and mischievous boy he was, had forever disappear.

Sometimes, you could see some remnants of what he used to be. Some fleeting moments, when he was with you or his brothers. But it was often gone rapidly…In a matter of seconds, he was all serious and broody, just like his father. 

Just like his father, though your Bruce would give anything for him not to be.

Jason came back to you years ago, but the boy he was died that fateful day. Your boy was gone, forever, replaced by a man. But at least, he came back…

And now, it was the same nightmare all over again.

“Damian…Damian isn’t…”

“Please Bruce. Shhh. Don’t say it. Please. Don’t say anything else.”

The wave of despair that hits you right there and then, makes you fall to the floor, hard. And Bruce can barely catch you before you hit the ground heavily.

Here you are again. Laying on the batcave’s floor, in his laps, grieving a son.

Damian isn’t coming back, you already know it.

His own biological mother killed him, to prove a point to herself. 

A point that hurt her. Because no. She wasn’t as emotionless as she thought. No, she couldn’t just kill “her” son and move on. She wasn’t her father…

But she killed him. She did. Keeping yourself from killing her isn’t as hard as when you decided not to kill the joker. Because you know she suffers too, more than if she was dead. And in a twisted way, this makes you more satisfied than if she was gone. 

You resent those feelings. This is not who you are…And yet. It is. The hatred you feel after the death of your little boy will forever be part of you. The need for the person responsible to suffer is unfortunately something you truly feel, to your core. And honestly, who could blame you ? 

Unlike the Joker, you knew Talia felt things. And, good. 

Because she doesn’t even deserve to die. It would be too easy. 

And oh, oh how you don’t recognize yourself in those ugly feelings. But…She killed Damian. She killed “her” son. She killed your son. You cannot hide this dark part of yourself that needs revenge. 

You cannot. 

You feel Bruce shake while he holds you against him. Sat on the floor with you in his arms,  not ready to ever let you go.

You can see Alfred collapsing in Dick’s arms. Your beloved butler cannot handle it this time. He cannot be the strong one everyone needs. Not again.

On your oldest son’s face, there’s nothing but misery, but he tries to keep it in, because it’s his turn to take care of you, of Alfred, of his father…He wasn’t there for you guys when Jason died, busy doing his “own things”, not even knowing his little brother died. Maybe if he was there at the time, he could’ve saved him ? Maybe if he didn’t “selfishly” decide to leave ? 

But there is no point in dwelling in the past. He wasn’t there before, he would be there this time. He would be there this time…

You can also spot, in the blur of your teary eyes, Jason holding a shaking, crying Tim. It wasn’t always the biggest love between Tim and Damian. They drove each other crazy on a regular basis. But he was his brother. The teasing didn’t mean there was no love. On the contrary, their constant bickering was their own way to say : “I care deeply about you, dumbass”, their brotherly love language. And Damian was so young. Damian was so young…He wasn’t even able to protect his little brother, how could he help protecting the city ?

You don’t see Cass, and in a way, that’s good. You’re not sure you could handle seeing her heart broken You vaguely recall, in your painful state, that she’s away on a school trip, and you dread her return…

(A/N : Duke was not yet part of the fam when Damian died, which is why he does not appear in this story). 

Your eyes meet Jason’s, and the strength in them makes you feel a tiny bit better. You know he’ll be here too. You know he’s not going anywhere. Not this time. It took him a long time to forgive you and Bruce, but now, he wasn’t planning on leaving ever again. Especially not now. He knows you need him more than ever, and he’ll be there. Yes. He’ll be there.

This time, no words are exchanged between you and Bruce. You just hold onto each others, because that’s the only thing you can do, the only thing you can bear. His breath warms your forehead as he holds you close to him. 

This time, no words are exchanged between you and your Bruce. No. This time, you can’t speak. Surrounded by your grieving family, by your sons who are shaken to the core, by your surrogate father who was dying of sadness, by your Bruce…You can’t utter a word.

You can just hug your husband tight, making sure he won’t go.

He can just burry his face in your hair, not holding back his tears and sadness. Once again, he lost a son, and it was his fault, because he wasn’t able to protect him.

This time, you don’t have the strength to tell him itisn’this fault. This time, years after you lost Jason, you don’t have the strength to handle it anymore.

Couldn’t your family catch a break ? So much grief, so many bad things happening to your beloved sons, to your Bruce…

This time, you don’t have the strength to reassure Bruce.

You just lost a son. He just lost a son.

“We just lost our son…”

You hear him whisper, so lowly that you’re not sure he actually said it, or if your brain is playing tricks on you. If it’s some kind of flashback from Jason’s death.

Damian isn’t coming back. He’s never coming back. You lost a son. He lost a son. Your kids lost a brother. Alfred lost a grandchild.

The World lost one of its greatest and brightest inhabitant. 

The reality of all of this delves on you, and the same sadness you felt when you thought Jason was gone forever washes over you, taking away all of your hopes, all vision of a bright future.

Damian. Your son. Your youngest little boy. Isn’t coming back.

He’s never coming back.

Yes, how terrible it is, to love something that Death can touch.

To be continued ;) (because yes, Jason and Damian’s death were super hard to deal with…but let’s not forget about how Dick, Tim and Bruce faked their death and it must’ve been as equally horrible to think you lost your loved ones just to realize they were fine all along, re-writing this story made me want to write a sequel about those guys so bad :). And also talk about other very close call with death, admittedly an endless subject with this family haha). 

_______________________________________________

Maybe some of y’all noticed, this is a rewriting of an old story of mine (which I accidentally erased…I need to stop being on Tumblr on my phone ). I liked it so I just…rewrote it (I still had the original story tucked away in a word document, thanks God I saved everything from the first time I accidentally erased something haha). The original story was almost 5 years old, and although I’m still insecure in many ways about my writing, I do believe I improved since then (mainly thanks to this blog, and y’all <3). I’m pretty happy I re-wrote it, I made some massive changes to it which I think better it :). I don’t know if any of y’all read it before this re-write, but if you remember it (again, it’s old and pretty much went under the radar amongst all my fics), you’ll realize how vastly different it is now. And I like it better…I hope you do too.  

Yup. I do hope you liked it, and if you did, comments and reblogs are always beyond appreciated, and motivating:). 

Synopsis : A story about those few dreaded words : “You’re not my real mom”, said by the batkids, to you, in a the heat of a moment. And the aftermath of it all… 

This has been in my draft for ages. I hope you like it :) : 

my masterlists :@ella-ravenwood-archives

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DICK 

It happened so fast. In a quick moment of anger. 

A flash, a bang, words said too quickly to truly realize their meaning. 

Dick was frustrated because he felt you didn’t understand him, his point of view. And you were trying to explain to him that it was not okay to…

You know what ? 

You couldn’t even remember what he did. As if whatever it was, it was all wiped out of your memory when he pronounced those bone chilling words. 

You only remembered you were “scolding” him, just like parents do when their child did something he wasn’t supposed to. You rarely told Dick off, even when he would burst into fits of anger. 

You always told him : “When you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son, I love all of you.” 

And you meant it. Often, you or Bruce would take the brunt of his anger, without batting an eye. After all, that child went through a lot. It was totally normal for him to lash out at times. 

He saw his parents died right in front of him. It wasn’t a trauma that would be solved that fast (Bruce was proof of it). “The magic of love” couldn’t simply cure someone who was so deeply hurt. Although it helped, over time. 

Yes. Time. 

It would take time, and support, for Dick to heal. And you were here for it. Here for him. 

But there were times, you had to say something. 

Usually, it was when he was being too reckless. 

Your son could be overzealous, and go too far. And you were so worried about his safety and wellbeing…Very rarely, you’d have to “scold” him. 

And you couldn’t even remember what you were lecturing him about that evening (even if you had an idea it was about being a little more careful). All you remembered was…

“You’re not even my real mom ! You can’t tell me anything !” 

And him turning away from you, crossing his arms and refusing to look your way. Which was good anyway, because you were an instant mess. 

“Ok”, you managed to say, wondering how the hell you were able to get the words out. And then you left. Feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. And your heart slowly breaking. 

Bruce found you two later, both clearly feeling down… 

Dick stayed quiet the entire time they were on patrol, and Bruce instantly knew something was wrong. He wasn’t there during your fight, and he only arrived when you were already gone, surprised that you went to bed so early in the night, and didn’t stay with your son downstairs until it was time for patrol… 

The man didn’t push the boy, waiting for him to open up if he wanted to. And as usual, Dick did finally speak up. In a weak voice, as they were surveying the city from a rooftop, he said :

“I told her she wasn’t my real mom…” 

“Ah.” 

Bruce felt the urge to go back home and console you, knowing that you were certainly a mess, right now. But he had to take care of his boy, too. 

And oh, oh Dick looked so crestfallen and sad as the meaning of his words slowly etched into his mind. 

“I told her she wasn’t-she wasn’t-but she is I just-I-I don’t know why I said that-I…” 

The little one was on the verge of tears, and Bruce understood why. 

He probably understood more than anyone else. 

He told Alfred “You’re not my dad !” more than once, and remembered how even the stoic butler looked, whenever he said it. 

He remembered the hurt in his eyes, the resignation too. The “very well sir”, said in a neutral manner, but the stiff way he’d left the room. 

It took Bruce a while, to finally realize that Alfred WAS his father. That he raised him, most definitely. And was always there for him during the hard times. 

That he even helped and supported him, when he came back after disappearing for years, saying : “I’m going to dress up as a bat and wipe crimes from Gotham”. …How many parents would be that understanding, eh ? 

Alfred knew Bruce. And always tried to do his best for him. So whenever Bruce would yell at him that he “wasn’t his father”, it hurt. 

Bruce knew it. He noticed how Alfred’s entire demeanor would change. He’d see a light go out in his eyes. 

“Very well, sir.”, a small bow, and the stiffness of his body as he left…

And Bruce remembered. 

The guilt and the pain he felt himself, as he regretted ever saying those words. As he knew they were going to hurt, which is why he said them in the first place.

It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt his adopted father, oh no. It was that sometimes he just…He just felt so angry ! Like everything was unfair ! And he missed his parents so much ! 

It was a force stronger than him, he wanted Alfred to leave him alone, and pushed him away…”You’re not my dad !”. So yes. Bruce understood little Dickie. He understood you, too. He knew how you must’ve felt, he saw it enough happening to Alfred. 

Once you’d get home, he would take care of you. But right now, he had to care for his son. 

Right here, on one of Gotham’s rooftop, the scary and mighty Batman slowly kneeled down, and took his boy in his arms, holding him tightly. 

Dick didn’t need more to throw his arms around his father’s shoulders, and hold him strongly too, with all his nine years old strength, sobbing slowly. 

Bruce drew soothing circles on his back, and whispered : 

“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok. It’s ok. Calm down, things are going to be ok.” 

Your husband lost count of the time passing. Were they there, holding each others while Dick was sobbing uncontrollably, for ten minutes, or for ten hours ? He didn’t know. And he didn’t budge.  

His son needed him. Just like once, he needed Alfred… 

Dick fell asleep in his arms, and that night, Bruce came home early. 

Not like he was going to stay out anyway, knowing you were probably devastated, all alone in your room… 

************

Dick fell into a deep sleep, and didn’t budge one bit even as Bruce came down the building, rode home, and put him into bed. 

Bruce’s guess was that all the pent up feelings truly exhausted him. Also, he knew that crying could be tiring. And freeing, in a way. 

Putting the boy’s blanket all the way up to his chin, Bruce laid a kiss on his forehead and then rushed to your shared bedroom… 

You had cried too, but you were not asleep. 

Your eyes were puffy and red, and your cheeks marked with your tears. You seemed surprised, when he came in, and looked at the clock. 

It was only midnight ? 

“Hello, my love.” 

He sat down next to you, and from the way he ran his fingers through your hair, and caressed your cheek, wiping the salty tears from it…You knew he knew.

He knew how devastated you felt. How those simple words that would mean nothing for many, truly wounded you. 

He knew how much you loved that boy, how as soon as your eyes laid on his little face that terrible night he lost his parents, you felt like he was going to be your son one day. 

He knew how much you’d sacrifice for that kid’s happiness, how far you’d go to keep him safe…And so, how hurtful him telling you you weren’t his real mother must’ve felt.  

There was no need for words. 

He knew what to do. He laid next to you, and you just cuddled up to him, letting him wrap you up in his warm embrace. 

He drew those same soothing circles on your back than he did on Dick’s. And whispered : 

“He didn’t mean it. He truly didn’t. He loves you, you know. I love you too.” 

You fell asleep to his words of love and reassurance, finally letting go after hours of not being able to sleep, reenacting the terrible scene in your head over and over again, making yourself feel worst each times. 

************

You woke up around 4 am, with Bruce’s arms wrapped around you.  

He was asleep and escaping his grasp (without Alfred’s help) took you a little bit..but you managed to leave without waking him up. 

He did groan a little at the loss of your warmth, and grabbed your pillow to hold it against his chest. Which was extremely cute, and oh how glad you were to be the only one to see this side of him. 

You went down to the kitchen and… 

Dick was coming from the other door, opposite to the one you took.

The kitchen had three access. Two doors facing each others, and one on the third wall. The door you took was because you got a little lost and did a detour through the drawing room. Dick, however, came from the door you should’ve come from too, which was the one you accessed from the West Wing third corridors, which was directly under your bedroom, and Dick’s. 

The boy probably stood up a little after you, and while you got lost in your own home (again), he took the normal way and…

Boom. Here you both were, arriving in the kitchen at the same time. 

There was a small silence. Awkward. And…

Your heart tightened. 

Dick was sort of cowering backward in fear. Fear of what ? 

Oh. But of course. 

“He didn’t mean it.” 

Bruce whispered to you many times, before you fell asleep. And the way Dick looked at you, worry in his eyes…He was thinking you were mad at him. And the regret in his pupils was as obvious as that fact. 

“Ice cream ?” 

You ask him. His eyes widen a bit, and you can almost see the gears in his brain trying to piece everything together. You’re…not mad at him ? 

Of course you’re not. You felt sad, and lost, and hurt, yes. But never did you feel any hint of anger. Of course not. 

You take out his favorite flavor from the freezer, and settle a bowl in front of one of the high stool around the counter. 

At that time, Dick was so tiny. A very short little bean. And he’d stay small for a long time, only having a sudden spurt when he was around fifteen. 

He climbed onto the stool, and watched you as you gave him some ice cream and a spoon, and then sat down next to him to eat some as well. 

The silent was slowly turning less awkward. 

Slowly, and unsurely, Dick picked his spoon up and looked at you. And completely missed his mouth, the ice cream spreading on his cheek instead. 

You turn around to look at him, ice cream on his cheek, and he’s clearly embarrassed, as a tint of color slowly rises on his face. 

You don’t really know why, but something snaps in you and you start laughing. And laughing. And laughing. 

Because honestly, the kid missing his mouth as he picked his spoon up full of ice cream, is kinda funny right ? And also, all the tension and stress you felt suddenly broke with this simple, silly thing. 

Unsure at first, Dick just looked at you. But your laughter quickly spread to him, and soon enough, you both were bursting out in laughter. 

Anyone not knowing what happened, would probably think you were both crazy, laughing that hard for no apparent reasons. 

Instinctually, you ruffle his hair and Dick gasps. You really weren’t mad at him ?!

You realized what you did, and slowly, both your laughter subsided. There was a small silence as Dick stared at you, and you stared back, and then : 

“I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it !” 

He says in a small voice, and he can’t add anything else as you just pick him up and hold him tight against your heart, and you say : 

“I know.” 

And it’s all he needs to realize you’re not really mad at him, and although he messed up and hurt you, right now, you were both on the path of recovery… 

Next morning, Bruce woke up alone in bed, which greatly distressed him as usual (he often woke up first). But a gut feeling was telling him that…

He found you asleep with Dick in his bed, holding him tightly. 

************

After that event, you sat down with him, so you could have a serious talk about the underlining issue this raised. Talk about something important. 

“Little bird, you know I love you, right ?” 

He nods, but still cannot speak quite yet, doesn’t have the energy to. 

“I want you to understand something. Something vital. Are you listening ?” 

He nods again, his eyes fixed on you. And he’s listening, oh he definitely is. 

“It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to lash out. It’s ok to not be alright. It’s ok to make mistakes.” 

He nods, a little slower than before, and you can see his eyes slowly becoming wetter and wetter. 

“It’s ok. It really is. I’m here. And I love you. Even when you don’t want me around. Even when you push me away. I’m here. And I always will be. Ok ?” 

He nods one last time, unable to hold his tears, and then his little arms latch around you, and he refuses to let go for well over an hour…

Oh. Sweet, sweet boy. 

Your son. 

************

Even now, at age twenty seven, Dick still often think about this day. And the regrets are as burning as they were back then. 

He often thought about it. 

Whenever you did something for him, went out of your way to make him happy, or were just there for him, always…

He’d have a flashback of this day, and feel nothing but regret and anger at his younger self. 

And then you’d read him like an open book. Know exactly what he was thinking, and would slowly shake your head, and say : “I know I often said that, but I will say it till the day I die if I need to :  when you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son. I love all of you. Even when you’re a little bit of a jerk.” and you’d wink at him, making him chuckle and feel a surge of affection toward you. 

Kind of like the ones you’d feel sometimes. A sudden urge to hug your family, to tell them what they mean to you. Both you and Dick understood since a long time that with the life you all lead, you never knew what could happen, and should never waste a “I love you” if you felt like saying it. 

Well, the apple never fall far from the tree ? 

Yes. Because you were his mom. And nothing would ever change his mind on that. Ever. 

JASON 

“Well Jason, you did it you idiot !” 

He says to himself in the mirror, and oh he could’ve punch himself if it was possible. He took his desk chair, and threw it across his bedroom, letting out a scream of frustration. 

He went to his desk, and threw everything that was on it on the floor. He then went to his book shelves and…

There. Your book. The one you wrote for him. 

Jason fell to his knee, holding his head in his hands, crying softly. 

Yes. Yes he did it…He ruined this one chance life gave him to have parents. 

He hurt one of the person that meant the most to him, one of the person he loved the most…His mom. You. 

Because you were his mom, no matter what he told you, in that moment of anger as you scolded him after he did something dangerous during one of his patrol. 

He hadn’t been allowed to go out for long, by then. And Bruce had already scolded him before for the very same thing, so when you did it too, he had enough and…it happened before he could think about it. 

He was angry, about the lack of trust and about the sermons, and his brain tried to hurt without even thinking about it. Triggered by years of living in the streets, where he had to think quick and act right away, and then suffer the consequences. If he wasn’t fast enough, it could be the end of him… 

A gut reaction triggered by years of being all on his own, having to fend for himself. His brain went into overdrive, “hurt” is what it set into motion. 

“You’re not my mom !” 

And that was it…

As he saw your face fell, and his father’s face turn angry, he knew. He knew he messed up. He messed everything up, as usual !

“Jason !” 

Bruce called, but Jason wasn’t about to stop. He ran out of the cave, right to his bedroom. Oh, oh but if only he stayed a little longer. He’d realize that his father wasn’t angry, just hurt as well. 

Hurt to see the woman he loved being hurt. 

Not angry. Ah but being in pain could sometimes look like you are mad ? And Bruce hadn’t been able to hide his frown as he heard Jason’s words… 

“Let him be, Bruce.” 

You say in a weak voice. You knew Jason, you knew sometimes he needed to cool down on his own. That he could be impulsive, but always came around. 

Ah. But that time, he needed everything but to be alone. 

Because, as he thought he ruined his one chance at having a real family, he thought… 

“Better to leave before they throw me away !” 

He knew he could never bear to face you and Bruce, as you’d certainly tell him you were “un-adopting” him. Jason saw it happened before. Someone thinking their adopted kid was “too much”, and sending them back. 

It was awful, of course. But it happened. For real. And Jason knew that life could really suck…But her couldn’t bear to face you as you’d send him away. 

Worst, what if you just send Alfred and that was it ?

No. Jason would leave before you could do that. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. 

Filling his backpack with some clothes, and snacks, he opened his window and slid down the gutter all the way to the ground, and then ran away into the night. Tears trailing down behind him, as he left behind the one place in which he ever felt safe, warm, and loved. 

In the meantime, you and Bruce were unaware of that, and slowly falling asleep in each others’ arms… As usual, Bruce was there for you. 

************

“Jason ? I thought I wouldn’t see you anymore after you got adopted by dem fancy fellas. Are you here to get some work ?” 

“No.” 

“Really, why did you come then ?” 

“I didn’t, I’m just passing by.” 

“Nah, don’t believe it. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy !” 

“TAKE IT BACK !” 

As he ran away, Jason went back to a place he thought he never would need to. A few intricate alleys, in the Bowery, under the main city. 

The Bowery, a filthy underground neighborhood, hell on Earth for many. Although things did improve when Batman started his work a few years back. 

“Wow there tiger, relax.” 

Jason came in this specific area for only one thing. Retrieve a few items he left behind, thinking he would never need it again because he was leaving behind this life. 

He had a hideout, not far. In which he hid some materials to survive in the streets. He thought he probably had to go back to stealing cars’ tires…Although maybe he should change it. Thinking of what happened last time he did this hurt his heart. 

He knew that next time he’d get caught stealing tires, the person wouldn’t end up adopting him…Anyway, he didn’t want any other parents but you and Bruce. 

And he messed that up so bad, by being so mean to you ! 

“Listen, it’s not because you got all fancy schmancy that you can talk to me like that. Remember who’s boss in this part of town.” 

Batman did a lot of good to the city, but also, by getting rid of some big players in the “crime business”, he allowed small time thugs to climb up the ladders…It felt, at times, like there always was someone to replace whoever Bruce just put behind bars… 

The man who was talking to Jason, used to be a small time criminal. Turned boss, when the Batman kept arresting all the people above him. Jason used to “work” for him, bringing him watches or jewelry that he’d exchange against cash. 

Damn. He never thought he’d ever see him again… Oh and he definitely didn’t think this through. 

As the new boss, who’s name was Johnny Clancy, told him that he’d forever be a “bad boy”, Jason saw red and…getting mad at a crime boss was a bad idea. 

Before he could even think about an escape plan, Jason was surrounded by dangerous armed men. 

“How dare you talk to me like that ? Mmm. The Waynes adopted you right ? Mmm. They’re loaded. Probably would pay a fortune to get you back uh ? And to think they’re gonna give me a lot of cash to get a little runaway brat back haha. Because that’s what you did right ? You ran away ? As you always did before mm ? You know, I observed you Jason Todd. I saw you run away from anyone getting close. I saw you.” 

Jason’s heart didn’t need anyone to push and squiggle the knife he felt in around some more. He had just lost his family. Did he need more reminder that he always fucked up ?! 

“They won’t give you any money, they don’t want me anymore…” 

But Johnny didn’t believe him, of course. He told two of his thugs to grab the boy, but Jason, by instinct, dropped them to the floor with a few well placed kicks and punches. 

And that was enough to unleash Johnny Clancy’s wrath.

See, he was a new boss. He had to assert dominance. And an eight years old kid making a fool of him and his gang ? That wouldn’t go. 

So what if he had to off a child ? Anything to keep climbing up, and leave the Bowery’s slums. 

************

“Have you seen Jason ?” 

Bruce asks you, a few hours after your fight with him. 

“What ? No, I thought he was with you ?”

“No, he skipped his training and I thought he might be with you, apologizing for what he said yesterday ? You know, sounds like something he would do.” 

“I haven’t seen him since, you know. I thought he was avoiding me…” 

“He would never.” 

“Bruce…” 

“He would never, my love. I know what he said hurt you, but I’m sure he’s regretting it right now. You should go see him, he’s probably sulking in his bedroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if you meet him up the stairs as he comes down to say sorry.” 

“Bruce…” 

Your husband comes to you, and takes your hands in his. 

“You know him. He’s impulsive, and a little abrasive sometimes. But he’s a sweet child. And he regrets his bursts, you know it. Tonight was just tough, we both scolded him, he’s not used to it.” 

“You’re right.” 

“Of course I am, I’m-”

“I swear to God if you say “I’m Batman” I’m going to smack you.” 

Bruce smiles softly at you, glad he managed to at least made the tension go away a little. He pecks your lips quickly, and watches you as you leave to go to your son’s bedroom. 

He was about to go down the Batcave, when you came back, panicked : 

“He’s gone ! Jason’s gone !” 

Ah. Bruce knew that placing a tracker in his children’s molars was a good idea. 

************

“HOW HARD IS IT TO CATCH A FUCKING KID ?!” 

Jason runs as fast as he can, without looking back. He managed to break the line of thugs coming at him, and escape in-between to of them who didn’t pull their guns out quite yet. 

They were shooting at him. With no hesitation. 

Johnny was set on proving he was an unscrupulous boss. To earn everyone’s respect. So what if he had to shoot a kid ? It’d send everyone a message. He’d back off from nothing ! 

Jason turned in an alley and…Damn it ! He must’ve taken a wrong turn at some point, it had been a while, since he roamed the Bowery’s alleyways…

He was faced by a wall, stuck. And they quickly caught up to him. 

“Wooouh, you’re fast kid. And you’re sneaky. Too bad you’re such a brat, I bet you could be a nice addition to our-”

Johnny Clancy never finished his sentence. In fact, he never could properly speak after that night. After getting his jaw broken into a thousand pieces by the Batman’s fist. 

Bruce had come down from nowhere, with…you in his arms ?! 

This was the first time Jason saw you wear the costume he saw a few times in the Batcave. He thought you wore it only to go to the JLA’s watchtower, to hide your identity. Not that you could actually…fight ?! 

And wow, you definitely could hold your own ! You made a few disarming pass, taking the guns away from all the men before they could even react, and letting Bruce finish them off with well placed kicks and punches. 

Oh and that night, the Batman unleashed his rage and unforgiveness full force. How dare they touch his son ?! 

You didn’t have anything to envy from your husband either, however, as you worked through Johnny’s gang rather fast too. 

That night, the both of you exterminated (figure of speech, of course, neither of you ever killed, that was the one big rule…but there were never a rule against breaking a few bones) Johnny Clancy’s gang, who dared to even think of hurting your precious son. 

Jason, holding his backpack tight against him, couldn’t believe his eyes. You two came to save him ? But…why ? 

He messed up. You’d surely not want him around anymore ! 

Once Bruce dropped the last man, you rushed to Jason and before he could utter a sound, took him in your arms. 

“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re safe baby, I’m so glad you’re…” 

Your voice broke at the end, and you chocked, the emotions too strong and squeezing your throat. 

Jason didn’t understand. And through his surprise, he managed to say : 

“I thought-I thought you’d never want to see me again, and that you wouldn’t want to be my mom anymore.” 

You hold him even tighter, as you feel Bruce get down on his knee and bring the both of you in his arms. 

“Oh sweety, never. Never.” 

You say, not letting go. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” 

Your son manage to choke out, before sobbing profusely and holding on to you and Bruce. 

“I’m just glad you’re safe…it’s ok, it’s ok it’s already forgotten…” 

And it was. As soon as you saw that Jason-That your SON, was missing, you forgot he ever told you “you’re not my mom”. You forgot and it truly didn’t matter anymore, as all you cared about was to find him, and make sure he was safe. 

“Jason, oh my little Jason, I’m so glad you’re safe…”

Wether it is a conscious things or not, he returns your embrace fiercely, holding tightly as he looks up at you. It almost feels like he wants to make sure you really are there. And won’t go anywhere. Like everyone else did in his life. 

Jason was tired of losing those close to him. Those he cared about. Sometimes, he’d push them away, by fear of getting attached again just for life to rip them away from him. So he held onto you, as you held him back. 

Tightly against your heart. 

“Mom…” 

This was the day Jason Todd realized something very important : He wasn’t alone anymore. He had parents who loved him, and he loved them back. 

So much. 

And they’d never let him go. Never. 

************

Years later, this love he had for you and Bruce, turned out to be the very reason he became “Red Hood”. 

From that day he told you : “you’re not my real mom !”, he felt like he belonged. Like finally, the people he loved loved him back. Like he was cherished. And then Bruce didn’t avenge him. He let Joker get away. And you let him do it. You, the people he trusted and loved most in the world, betrayed him…

He felt like he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth Bruce breaking his one rule to avenge him. He wasn’t worth it…He didn’t matter enough. 

Jason felt so angry. For years. He wanted to hurt you, to hurt Bruce. To show you what it felt like. What HE felt like. 

But Jason has always been a strong one. You knew it. You told him enough times : “you’re a fighter, my Jason. You went through so much, and always came out of it. You lost a lot on the way my little one, but you never give up. You never give up…” 

You never give up. 

Love. 

It’s what drove him to become the Red Hood. It’s what drove him over the edge. What gave him so much pain. 

Rather, the feeling of not being loved. The thought all you and Bruce said to him, about how much you cared and loved him, was a lie. 

Yes. The thought that you lied about loving him, is what broke him. What made him find every way possible to truly, truly hurt you two.

You never give up. 

He was so angry. But he never could quite give up on his family…that’s why he didn’t stay with the Al’ghuls. That why they didn’t keep him. 

He could never forget you and Bruce. Move on. 

He could never. 

Jason was a strong lad. Strong enough to see past his hate and need of revenge. His pain. His deep trauma. 

It took a while. But the change came from him. He’s the one that gave you another chance. And it allowed him to realize…nothing was a lie.

And you got your son back.

Because you showed him. You showed him nothing was a lie.

When his dad never gave up on him even as he killed more and more people, and even as Jason saw him completely erase people who used to be close from him as soon as they killed once. When you refused to let him go. When Bruce kept going back, even as he knew Jason would fight him and try to hurt him. When you pleaded with him, even when you knew his answer would be the same… 

Jason never gave up. 

But you didn’t either. 

“You’re not my mom”, are words he never meant. Not even once. Not even when he was the “old” Red Hood, the one that killed mercilessly any criminals, and that was trying to be exactly what Batman wasn’t. 

“You’re not my mom”, even at his worst, at a time he suffered greatly, Jason never meant it. He never did. 

And ultimately, it’s this filial love, and the love you and Bruce had for him, that brought him back out of the dark pit the Joker pushed him in…

TIM 

Tim knew that his overly pragmatic mind sometimes could make him sound tactless. That he had trouble, sometimes, expressing himself properly. 

He knew that what he said, although it could be the factual truth, could be perceived as not being very nice… 

He knew, yet sometimes, he couldn’t help himself. 

“But you’re not my mom.” 

He told you that day, as you asked when was the “mother/child day” at school. 

Tim’s school had a day each year, during which every mother would come and do different activities with their kids. You did it with Dick and Jason, and it was always great fun, and amazing bonding time. 

By then, Tim had been with you and Bruce for over a year now. And he did, see you as his mom. However, he was a little too set, at the time, on rules and specifics. In the “mother/child day” rulebook, it “specifically” said that the actual child’s mother had to come, not the nanny or anyone else. 

In Tim’s mind, although he did see you as his mom, he thought the school wouldn’t. For him, the way the rules were written, were clearly stating his birth mother had to come. And the official adoption papers were not processed yet. Those took quite a while. 

He had been living with you for over a year. He called you and Bruce “mom and dad”. He truly considered you two his parents. But the official papers were not done quite yet. So to him, in the eye of the law (be it a silly school rule), you weren’t his mom quite yet. 

So when he said : “but you’re not my mom”, that’s what he meant. Of course, you misunderstood…

How could you guess that Tim was thinking that only his “birth mother” could take him, because officially right now he didn’t have a mom, just “guardians”…

His mother was dead. Has been dead for a while, now. And even if she wasn’t, Tim knew she’d never come at this event…She wasn’t the caring type of mother. Not like you. Which is why it really bummed him out that those rules were so clearly stated like that !

What Tim misunderstood, is that this specific rule had been added to the rulebook because many family would send their nanny, or a big sister, instead of the mom. Because Tim was of course in Gotham’s Academy, full of rich families, in which the moms were very busy…

Which is why such a day existed. Some kids spend quality times with their mom only on this school day. Nowadays, everyone made an effort to come (the fact you appeared, the famed (Y/N) Wayne, a few years back, with Dick, and it made all the papers’ headlines, might’ve influenced others to participate too).

To tell the truth, Tim was very disappointed that you couldn’t go with him, and was considering asking the principle of the school to do an exception to the rule and allow you to go with him.  

He was already fomenting a plan in his head to convince the headmaster to let you come as his mom, and as usual when he was planning things out, he completely disconnected from reality. 

And therefor, didn’t see how your face “closed”, and your eyes turned sad. The boy was typing away on his computer, as if nothing had just happened, as if you didn’t feel your world crumble as he flat out told you you weren’t his mom…

Of course, it was all a misunderstanding. He meant it as “officially”. Not about his actual feelings. 

For some reason, the way he said it so nonchalantly hurts you more than when Dick and Jason yelled at you that you “weren’t their mom”. Because at least, in your eldests’ cases, you knew it was in the heat of the moment. 

That it was because they felt frustrated and sad. 

But Tim just told you : “But you’re not my mom.” matter of factly, and moved on. And it hurt. 

It hurt so much, because that boy…You loved that boy, of course. And considered him your son for sure. Part of your heart, now. Part of your family. And he felt so far, right now…so far… 

You left the room and he didn’t even notice. 

Did he really not see you as his mom ? Was he just calling you “mom” to imitate his brothers ? …You didn’t know, but it hurt. 

It hurt so much. 

************

You found Bruce in his office, doing some paperworks for Wayne Inc. When he saw your face, he immediately smiled, your presence lighting his whole world…But then he saw your expression, and he frowned. 

“What happened ?” 

************

“Mom ? MooOOooom ?” 

Tim had been looking for you for the past hour, but wasn’t able to find you. You weren’t in all your favorite places ! Did you leave the Manor without telling him ? It was unlike you. 

Finally, he found you. You were in a room that was rarely used, but which was conveniently close to Bruce’s office, and had a couch. 

Laying on top of your husband, you were fast asleep as Bruce was going through his paperworks, letting you holding onto his waist as he kept working. 

When he saw the boy come in the room, he smiled at him. And it was hard, not to smile at Tim, seeing his own big wide smile. 

Tim was missing a few teeth, that fell not long ago, and it was absolutely the cutest, when he smiled widely. He looked so happy, eyes sparkly and genuine smile. It felt wrong to Bruce, to think that this sweet boy didn’t see you as his mom…

Maybe it was all a misunderstanding ? Wouldn’t be the first time. Although, Bruce knew how sometimes Tim could be brutally honest, and say the facts in a matter of factly way that could be very harsh on the uninitiated. 

Your son was holding a cardboard sheet almost as big as him, and looked very excited about something. He slowly approached you two, and said, whispering, yet the excitement was clear in his voice : 

“Has she been asleep for long, dad ?!” 

He called Bruce dad. Without an hesitation. And it felt so genuine. Like he was relishing in the word rolling off of his tongue. And it was often the case, with Tim. His parents, when they were still alive, never really noticed his presence… 

And sometimes, it could be even worst to have parents who acted as if you didn’t exist, than caring parents who passed away. Bruce realized this. 

“No, she just closed her eyes.” 

Bruce answers, looking at you. And oh he couldn’t possibly know how soft his expressions as as he gazed at your sleeping face. 

“Oh…” 

Tim was clearly disappointed. His shoulders fell down, and he looked on the floor, looking defeated.

“What is it, champ ?” 

“Well, I wanted her to-Oh ! Mom !” 

The rumbling of your husband’s chest as he spoke is what woke you up. Not the actual sound of their voices, just that low vibrations reverberating in his chest. 

You opened one eye, then the second, and was greeted by your youngest son’s face being very close to you. As Tim saw you were waking up, he kneeled down next to the couch, settling his piece of cardboard next to him, and approached you very closely. 

His smile and sweet expression filled your vision. And you felt even more hurt, as you saw him so happy to see you, to know he didn’t really think you were his mom. 

It was clear he cared for you. And loved you, and being with you. But to him…You weren’t his mom. And that was so painful. 

“I got a plan mom, I got a plan !” 

A…Plan ? For what ? You don’t even have time to ask him, and, still a little hazy as you just woke up from a short nap (that you took after crying exhausted you), you raise a little from your husband. 

You exchange a curious look with him, as you see Tim spring to his feet and get a hold of the piece of cardboard that is almost as tall and large as him. 

He turns it around and…

Your heart drops. 

It’s a lot of very detailed drawings, maps and words about…about…

“This is how we’re going to convince the headmaster of my school that you’re really my mom, even if officially you’re not yet !! I thought we could start with logic first, and then go down the path of pathos if he really doesn’t change his mind !” 

What ? Your brain is trying really hard to comprehend what’s happening, although it is starting to put two and two together. 

“The rules say that the mom HAS to be the one who comes, and the way they wrote it suggest that they wouldn’t accept someone who isn’t yet official. But I think we could convince that, in our heart, we’re already an official family, right ?!” 

Tim looks at you, and then at his dad, a little worry in his eyes (what if for them, he wasn’t their son yet because the paperworks weren’t finished and officials quite yet ?!?!). Bruce cannot help but smile, and nods, feeling his heart melt (a rare occurrence). 

And you. You have exactly the reaction he expected you’d have. You sit up, put the cardboard aside, and drag your son into a tight hug that makes him giggle and exclaim : 

“Hahaha mom wait I can’t breaaaathe !! Mom !!” 

But he hugs you back, knowing that this means yes, you do consider him your son already, paperworks or not, and you will probably follow his plan to convince the school to-

“Mom ? Why are you crying ? Mom ?” 

You can’t explain it to him. You feel silly, but also so emotional and touched. You thought he didn’t think of you as his mom. But he did. Oh he did, and was actually worried about technicalities of rules and…So sweet. That boy is so sweet. 

Carefully, Tim dries your tears, and look curiously at his dad, his eyes clearly asking : “Did I do something wrong ?”

You’re still unable to speak, as you hold onto him, and Bruce ruffles his son’s hair saying : 

“She’s just too happy, champ. She’s just too happy.” 

CASSANDRA

"You, not my mom !” 

She screamed. You never heard Cass raised her voice before. And yet, here, she screamed at you. And then closed her bedroom door right on your nose. 

And you felt it in your heart. That specific pain that you wished you’d never feel again. That kind of hurt you wished you’d never feel ever again. 

It happened just liked it did with Dick and Jason. You were “lecturing” her about putting herself in needless danger, and she felt frustrated at the fact you “didn’t trust her”. 

It wasn’t true of course. You did trust her. And you knew she could hold her own. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, and scold her if she really scared you… 

It was pure instinct. You couldn’t stop yourself from telling them off when you felt they went too far. You did it with Bruce too. 

Once, he threw himself in the way of a bullet to save you, and once he recovered enough…Oh you were so mad at him. 

It’s not that you wanted to take that bullet, of course. You knew it was also instinct that made him move to save you. But in truth, you would rather take a thousand bullet than lose any of them. Bruce, or your children. 

And sometimes, it was hard for them to understand this. To get why you were so worried, when you accepted fully their night activities. 

Why you monitored the batcomputer, if it was to scold them when they put themselves in danger ? 

Ah but they didn’t understand that you only got “mad” when they put themselves in NEEDLESS danger. Pushing themselves too far that one night, being careless with something, ignoring their own safety to finish a task… 

You couldn’t help but be afraid. And your fear turned into you scolding them. And sometimes, on each sides, things boiled and…

“You, not my mom !” 

The meaning was clear. As Cass slammed her door right in your face, you knew not to push it further, not to tell her anything more. 

Maybe you should’ve ? Should’ve open her door, and continue lecturing her so she’d understand her life was valuable ? 

Cass put herself in danger more than any other member of your family, because she was raised as a weapon and thought of herself as an “expendable”. You weren’t mad at her for this, of course not (but oh, David Cain probably should never cross your path, it wasn’t pretty, when you were truly angry). 

You were just worried. And unfortunately, being a parent was complicated and sometimes, your worry turned a little overbearing for your kids. 

This was a mistake every normal caring parents made. Wanting what was best for their children, sometimes not realizing they’re going too far. And you ? Your family wasn’t normal. 

Your children were vigilantes. Your worries were tuned up to the max.  

Being a parent was hard. And sometimes, both you and your kids were frustrated. It happened. In any family. 

It was resolved rather fast, most of the time. A little conversation, understanding and indulgence, and boom. Sorted. 

However, there were times when things would go a little too far. Wether because one of you was tired, or didn’t feel well etc etc…

Tonight, was such a time. 

“You, not my mom !” 

Cass didn’t even register what she said. She was just mad and frustrated, and said the first thing that came into her mind. Her hand slammed the door shut before she could even think about it. 

And here you were. In the corridor. In front of your daughter’s door. 

Hurt. And feeling as devastated as you did when her brothers told you the same thing. You would think, after a few times of this happening, it’d be easier, right ? Well. No. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. 

As usual in those instances, you went to seek comfort in the arms of your husband. 

************

Cassandra didn’t feel ok. 

In fact, she felt absolutely terrible. 

She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt that bad. 

When she went to look for you and apologize for her behavior, she found you in her dad’s arms, crying, and it made her run away…

She couldn’t face you, knowing she truly hurt you like that. 

The worst thing is, she knew she would hurt you by saying those words. Yet she still did it. It was as if she couldn’t control herself. It was like an ugly force took over her, and made her say those words. 

But she knew. She knew she’s the one who ultimately decided to say them. She’s the one that pronounced them. Under the anger. 

Anger. 

The ugly force. 

She turned around in her bed, holding onto the plush toy you gave her shortly after her arrival. You said “every child should have one” and that this one made you think of her. 

It was a fox with bright colors. And it still smelled like you. 

She was about to fall asleep, when she heard a knock on her door. 

“Can we come in ?” 

It was her older brothers. 

Dick, Jason and Tim. 

It was rare, to have them all in the same place nowadays, what with how busy they all were. Dick with Bludhäven, Jason with the gods only knew what really (the gods, and you and Bruce…but sshhh, that’s a secret), and Tim with college applications. 

So Cass immediately understood that they heard about the fight she had with their mom. 

And she felt a rush of shame come over her. She felt sad too, because maybe they’d be mad at her ?

Cassandra didn’t think she could bear to break your heart, and have her precious brothers mad at her all in the same day. 

She almost told them to leave. But she didn’t have the strength. 

They surrounded her, and their presence was so…soothing. 

And then they spoke. They each told her the story of the time they told their mom those few dreaded words. 

“You’re not my real mom !” 

They told her how awful they felt, and how they knew they hurt their mom. They told her that…well, they did have the best mom ever. 

You never held any grudge. Ever. Especially not against your own family. 

You never even mentioned again the fact they told you this awful thing, you never even mentioned once this, under any circumstances. 

Her brothers stayed with her for hours, talking about their feelings on the matter. Telling her it happened. That everyone wasn’t always on their best behavior…

It was hard, for Cass, to not be “good”. She did so many awful things when her biological father raised her to be a weapon, she felt like she had to catch up so much on those years of “badness”. 

She often felt like she was evil, and could never caught up to everything. Like she was doomed, and could never become good. 

On that, Jason told her she was wrong. That everyone could change, and no one was born truly evil. Environment, and the way you’re raised, matter. And what she did…wasn’t her fault. She was forced to. If she really enjoyed doing this she’d never become a Batgirl. She would never be part of this family. 

She often felt like she was a bad daughter. 

On that, Dick told her she was wrong. He too, felt like a bad son, when he “replaced” his parents with you and Bruce. He too, felt like a bad son when he would get so mad while you would do anything to make him happy. He too, felt like a bad son…on so many occasions. But he grew. And thanks to you mainly, he realized he was just human. Mistakes are human. And it’s not being a bad son, to sometimes feel so hurt that you lash out. That your trauma are so strong, things sometimes are tough. 

She often felt like she couldn’t fit in, and would never fit in. 

On that, Tim told her she was wrong. Him too, felt too different. He already had parents, they were alive, he just wanted to help, he didn’t have any friends…But in this family. In this family, everyone fitted in. Because you made it so. Bruce made it saw. You both accepted any flaws, and differences your kids might have. You loved them unconditionally, they all knew that by now. 

And Cass…Cass didn’t want to hurt you. 

They knew that, too.

It was an accident. In the heat of the moment. She didn’t mean it. Of course, you are her mom. Of course…

It felt good, to have her brothers there for her, when you couldn’t be. 

************

Later that night, after her brothers left, Cass slowly exits her room and take the known way to yours and Bruce’s. 

You are both there, and she knows her dad stayed because you felt bad. He always stayed with you, when you were feeling down. And vice versa.

Cass always told herself that, later, if she ever found a significant other, she’d want her and them to have the same kind of relationships than you. You and Bruce set up a rather high standard for whoever would come into her life. 

But that was another story. For now, she was opening the door slowly, scared of waking you up. But you were awake. 

Bruce was asleep, deeply. As usual when he felt your warmth against him. But you were not. Cass could see you slowly and absentmindedly caress your husband’s hair. It was soothing to both of you. His silky smooth dark hair were soft in between your fingers, and helped you get your mind off of the pain and focus on the sensation, while for him…Well, it put him asleep, when you did that. 

The door creaked a little, and you abruptly turned your head towards it, ready to fight and…You instantly recognize your daughter, even in the dark of the room. 

She doesn’t need to talk. You manage to roll over Bruce, who then by instinct roll too, and therefor you create a little spot for your daughter to climb in bed with you. 

You turn around in Bruce’s arms, and slowly wrap them around your middle, instead of your shoulders. You turn towards Cass, your back against Bruce’s chest, and tap the small spot you managed to create next to you. 

Cass understands, and climbs in, facing you. She lays her head on her arms, as you do the same. And then she mouthes : 

“Sorry mom…” 

And that’s all you needed. You gesture for your daughter to cuddle up close, and she does. By instinct, Bruce lets go one arm off of you, and grabs his kid to bring her closer. He is still asleep, but it wouldn’t surprise anyone that his subconscious holds onto the two most important women in his life like so. 

And there she is. Cass feels safe. And warm. And she hears your heart beat softly. And she knows it partly beats for her. 

And partly for Bruce. And partly for Dick. And partly for Jason. And Tim. And Damian. And Duke. And Alfred. 

It beats for your family. 

For her family.

Family. 

She has a family. 

And you are her mom. 

Her biological father never hugged her, never told her everything was going to be alright, never… 

Cass never felt safe and warm. 

Like she did, right now, held by both you and Bruce. 

“Family…”

She whispers, as she slowly falls asleep. And you’re the only mom she ever wants to have. You are, her real mom. Always have been, always will be. 

DAMIAN 

Damian didn’t really think this was a big deal, at first. 

Just like his father, he often made the mistake to think that people around him will simply understand his true meaning. 

When he told you : “You’re not even my real mom !”, he obviously didn’t mean it. He was angry because you told him he couldn’t go out on patrol for a few days, as he was grounded for skipping school and going to work on cases instead. 

“But school is boring, I already know everything ??” 

“It’s the principle of it, Damian. You can’t just do what you want whenever you want, this is not how it works. I don’t feel like we’re extremely strict parents, so when you betray our trusts like that, it has consequences.”

Bruce kept out of the argument, ready to jump in however if you needed him to affirm  that yes, actions have consequences and although you two are pretty lax with your son on many fronts, he still has to listen. You and Bruce made clear rules when you first adopted Dick, because you realized your lifestyle was anything but normal, but it didn’t mean your children could just do anything they wanted. 

Neither of you wanted them to turn into privileged little brats. Or to think they were above everything. And you were right, by skipping school so much, and lying about it, Damian did betray your trust. 

Understanding actions had consequences was a big step that took a while, with Damian. Unfortunately, he grew up in an environment that indeed taught him he could do whatever he wanted, no matter if he hurt people on the way… 

Unlearning all this, was tough. And you understood that. Which is why you let things go a lot, with him, and only slowly told him about things. Gradually teaching him about your values and principles. 

However sometimes, like in this case, you needed to be firm and strict, because otherwise he’d just keep doing it knowing it had no bad consequences, and you didn’t want him to simply not go to school anymore…School was important for his social development, you realized it as he made friends and…

And simply, an eleven years old kid couldn’t just roam around all day as he saw fit. That’s it. And so here you were, trying to explain this to him. And that’s when he said it. 

He scrunched up his nose like he always did when he was angry, and then, turning his head away from you, throwing his Robin boots at the back of the cave. 

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not even my real mom !” 

And then he bolted out of the Batcave, leaving you behind, with a broken heart and feeling guilty…What if he hates you, because you were too harsh on him ? 

Bruce, that night, did not go out on patrol either, and stayed with you. Of course, he did. 

************

The fact he still listened to you and didn’t go out, made him thought you knew he was just angry and didn’t mean a word of it. 

To him, it was so obvious he thought of you as his mom, and that he said this just because he wanted to have the last word, that he honestly didn’t think much of it. 

Sure he was frustrated and angry, just like any kid was when their parents said : “no” to them. But he didn’t mean it… 

He didn’t really see you of the entire day. Finally, he decided to go see his father to ask him what was up. 

“Father ?”

“Yes ?”

“Is-is mom ok ?”

“Well, what do you think ?” 

“She doesn’t seem ok.” 

“Do you know why ?” 

“Did you do something to upset her ?” 

Normally, Bruce would feel vex at this statement. What, did he really do things to upset you that often ? Yes and now. Sometimes,  he would get on your nerve, and vice versa. It happened, in relationships.

But it was never anything major. Not anymore at least. Because now, when he had his “dark days” and could be a total jerk, you knew how to handle him. You knew not to take his bullshit. 

Yes. Normally, Bruce would pout like a child, at the fact his son thought that his mom was feeling down because of him. But not today. No. 

Because he knew that what made you sad, was something important.

Unfortunately, Damian inherited from him his bad habit of thinking others will understand his meaning. 

Like, when he tried to push you away at first so you wouldn’t get involved in his crazy life, what he really wanted was for you to get closer…Or when he told you that he was fine at times, all he wanted was for you to hold him and take care of him etc etc…The first time he told you “I love you”, wasn’t with words, but by not going on patrol one night, to stay with you. And he thought you’d immediately understand that he truly loved you…Truth was, it wasn’t as obvious to you (or anyone really) than it was for him. 

And Damian had the same problem. Doing things that he thought would obviously tell his meaning, his real feelings, when really…No one but him would get it. 

Although you became quite good at deciphering your husband’s true intentions, you could still misinterpret things sometimes. 

And yesterday night, when you grounded your son and tried to teach him a life lesson…You definitely didn’t see that he didn’t mean what he said and just wanted the last word. For you, he was seriously meaning it. And that’s why you were avoiding him a little, because it was too hard to…to… 

Damian’s words truly hurt you. You often were scared he could never see you as his mom (even if he did call you mom now and clearly cared for you) because of how he grew up. You’d never give up on him, of course, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt when he pushed you away or pretended to not care… 

Damian thought it was obvious, that his actions actually reflected how much you meant to him. That without you, he’d be lost and honestly wouldn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t. 

But it wasn’t obvious. 

Bruce sighed, and then smiled : 

“Since when is she acting odd ?” 

“This morning. She didn’t kiss me goodbye when she went to work !”

It felt like such a serious issue to your boy, in that instant, that Bruce wished you were there to see his reaction. You’d instantly know he didn’t mean it, when he said you weren’t his mom… 

But you couldn’t quite face him. You didn’t really avoid him or try to hurt him by not saying goodbye. Of course not, you were an adult, and you definitely knew that doing to others what was done to you is pointless, and mean. And why hurt someone the same way they hurt you ? You’re no better than them uh… 

“Can you think of anything that might’ve upset her ?” 

“I spilled my milk a little, but cleaned it after. I didn’t let Alfred do it like last time. I woke up a minute late, too. Jason hasn’t called in two days, but he was there yesterday afternoon. Dick said she messed up her pumpkin soup but he was just joking and she knows. Tim fell asleep at the breakfast table. You clinging to her this morning apparently made her late, I heard Alfred say it. Um…Cass um…Cass didn’t do anything bad really…None of those things sound like it would upset her though ! She really looked sad this morning, not like herself at all !” 

Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It was pretty cute, how Damian often acted as if he didn’t care about anything, yet no details would ever go past him. Especially not when it came to his family. He always noticed, when one of them felt down in any way, and tried to help (in his own way). 

Hell, he probably woke Tim up and told him to sleep more and take care of himself. Called Jason and told him to call his mom. Scolded Dick to not make this kind of jokes again. 

This was just the Damian that was privy only to them. A sweet child, who unfortunately often had trouble expressing his true feelings. 

Just like his father. 

Damian would often brag about his siblings, and how awesome they were, to his friends (notably to Jon, who didn’t have any siblings). But he’d never tell them right in front of their face. 

Bruce tried to help Damian see what was wrong, and said : 

“What about last night ?” 

“Ugh ? What about last n-OH !” 

Damian replayed the events in his head, and remembered his anger and frustration. But most importantly…What he told his mom. 

“I have to find mom ! Where is she ?!” 

Damian looked absolutely panicked, which was quite unlike him. Bruce answered : 

“She’s at work, she had a meeting with her editor. She should be back soon, though.” 

And on that note, Damian ran out to do god knew what, as Bruce shook his head and…Well, he just knew things would turn out alright. 

************

Alfred almost fainted, when he saw Damian tear off his beautiful flowers from his garden. He almost ran out, and had a very “get off my lawn !” moment…up until he realized that the boy was probably doing this for a reason. 

Oh. Oh his poor lilies.  

Hopefully, this really was for a good reason. A very good one. One so good, that it would stop him from strangling his grandkid, hopefully…

************

When you came home, Damian was waiting for you at the front door. He had a bunch of lilies in his hands (that you were pretty sure were from Alfred’s precious garden) and he looked absolutely frantic. 

He ran to you, almost threw the flowers in your arms, and yelled : 

“I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! YOU ARE MY REAL MOM ! I WAS JUST ANGRY ! I’M SORRY !!” 

You were a little confused as to why he was yelling, but before you could continue he took a drawing out of his pocket and added : 

“THIS IS A DRAWING OF YOU ! I MADE IT FOR YOU !! YOU ARE MY MOM ! YOU REALLY ARE ! PLEASE FORGIVE ME !! I’M SORRY !! DO NOT BE MAD AT ME !!” 

Still confused as to why he was screaming, you bend down to look at him eye level, settled the flowers on the floor, and said : 

“It’s ok Damian. It’s ok. We all get frustrated sometimes…I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, but it’s ok. It happens.” 

Damian’s face showed great relief, and he leaped into your arms, yelling : 

“I LOVE YOU !!” 

You winced as he screamed in your ear, and said : 

“Why are you yelling, little one ?” 

Damian took a step back from you and said : 

“BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF AND JASON TOLD ME THAT SAYING THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAY MIGHT HELP !! AND HE’S RIGHT !! I LOVE YOU !!”

Damian told you he loved you before, in certain moments. When he got really hurt, when you were really hurt, if he felt really sad…It was always a moment full of emotions. And it was still rather hard for him to say the words. 

It didn’t really surprise you that Jason would have such a technique. Yelling his feelings. Yep. Sounds like him alright. And it did seem like it worked for his little brother too. 

Only you and your close family would know, because you were the only ones to truly know him, but those two were more similar than others would think. And it wasn’t because they already

Part One Here

As Promised my loves, part 2.

This one was so much fun because I like writing pissy Bruce. Also apologies that Damian is a little OOC

You and Bruce came to an agreement, sort of. Neither of you really liked it, but Damian refused to return to his father if you weren’t with him. So Bruce set you up with a room in the Manor, and a car so that you could get to and from work.

Damian moved in a week before you did, he called and texted you everyday, and most importantly he sent you pictures of his pets. You smiled at each message from your boy while you packed up your belongings into small boxes.

The day you were to move in, you were surprised that Bruce, Damian, and Bruce’s oldest son, Dick, came to help you move your stuff into a large SUV. Dick had a kind smile and he thanked you for taking care of Damian when they couldn’t. You liked him more than Bruce, who was still cold to you.

The moment that you three arrived to the Wayne Manor, Damian grabbed your hand and dragged you inside, giving you a tour of the most important rooms (in his view). The tour consisted of Damian pulling you through the kitchen, dining room, library, his room, and finally your room. Once that was done Damian introduced you to his pets.

“He was the only reason I wanted to go back.” Damian admitted, scratching behind Titus’ ear.

“How long have you known who you were?” You had asked Damian many times, and he would always stiffen and not talk. You didn’t know why, but you tried not to push it too hard.

“I want you to meet Goliath.” Damian said, effectively changing the subject from your question, “But father doesn’t want you going down to the Batcave.”

And of course Bruce didn’t want you down there.

“Well you will just have to show me tons of pictures.” You smiled, and Damian smiled back.

That night you eat dinner with Damian, Bruce, and Dick. It was mostly silent, with Damian insisting on sitting next to you, Bruce at the head of the table, and Dick sitting across from you. It was awkward and silent, with people just pushing around their food.

It was Dick that couldn’t take it, he stood up looking pointing at Bruce, “I’m going to go patrol. Dami want to go with me?”

And you answered without thinking about it, “It’s a school night. He needs to go to sleep.”

No one was expecting you to say that, because Dick stared at you, opening and closing his mouth, and Bruce had a hard set to his jaw. You didn’t look up from the food on your plate.

Finally Bruce gave Dick a tight nod, and Dick slipped from the room, leaving his dirty plate.

Once you finished your meal, you took all the plates to the kitchen, despite Alfred’s protests, and told Damian to get ready for bed. You were so in the habit of acting like his guardian that you forgot that it wasn’t your job anymore. Not really.

“Y/N.” Bruce said from behind you as you were washing the dishes, you turned around almost shattering the plate. Bruce looked angry and you were suddenly a little scared, because this man could probably kill you five hundred ways. “I know that you’ve been taking care of Damian for a year now, but I am his father, and I make the calls.”

“Is this because I told him he can’t patrol?” You asked, because you had a very good reason for that.

“No.” Bruce said flatly, and you could hear the lie, “This is because you are now living with us and you think you are still responsible for Damian’s well being.”

“Well someone has to be!” You shouted before you could stop yourself.

You knew it was a dumb thing to say, but the look that Bruce gave you, radiating rage and questioning your authority, made you even more positive that you were being an idiot.

“What did you just say?” Bruce asked, stepping closer to you, and you leaned back into the sink scared. “Are you insinuating that I can’t care for my own son?”

“I found him bleeding in a dirty alleyway in Gotham. And I took care of him, alone. So no, I don’t think you can.” You shouted back in anger.

You watched as Bruce sucked in a deep breath, you could see him count to ten, and you wondered if he would punch you. It would be fair, because you were being a jerk, but you really hoped he wouldn’t.

“If… If this is going to work we need to set up rules.” Bruce finally said through gritted teeth, “Rules we can both agree on.”

“Fine.” You shot back.

“Fine.”

“Rule one, no patrols on school nights.” You stated. Bruce didn’t say anything for a long moment, and so you left, let him stew in his own anger. You would talk about rules in the morning.

You walked up to Damian’s room, he was sitting up on his bed, his cat was on one side, and Titus was curled up at the corner of his bed. Damian looked worried, but when he saw you the tension eased from his face.

“Umi, what took you so long?” Damian asked, and you smiled before placing a quick kiss on his forehead.

“Just got lost.” You replied, because Damian didn’t need to hear that his parents were fighting.

You stayed with Damian for a half hour before telling him to go to sleep, and then you returned to your room, where you sat up the entire night, wondering if this all was a mistake. Maybe you should have stayed at your apartment, and petitioned for custody every other weekend.

The next day you got back from work tired and just really wanting a long shower. You weren’t expecting to see Bruce sitting at the kitchen counter with a piece of paper in front of him, he looked almost as tired as you.

“Y/N, I thought we should write out our rules.” Bruce said.

You almost laughed, because you were really not expecting Bruce to actually make a contract, but he was a businessman so it made sense. And you wanted this to work, so you sat down across from Bruce and the two of you worked out a real and serious contract. One you were both okay with.

One thing that you hadn’t been expecting when you were living in the Wayne Manor was for it to always be loud. There were always a bunch of children running around, and usually breaking things. Damian usually forced you to stay away from the others, wanting you all to yourself, so you didn’t really know many of them.

You and Damian were baking cookies together in the kitchen, when a sleepy 17 year old stumbled into the kitchen, he stared at you, and then at Damian who was excitedly helping you mix the batter, and blinked a lot.

“Hello.” You said with a smile, and Damian whirled around to see his brother.

“Umi that is Drake, don’t pay any attention to him.”

“Thanks demon.” Tim muttered, grabbing some coffee.

“Kid, that’s not nice. Apologize.” You said not even looking at Damian.

Tim opened his mouth to say something, probably along the lines of ‘he will never apologize,’ but Damian looked at Tim and quietly said, “Sorry Drake.”

Tim stared at you with wide eyes.

“Who are you?” Tim asked in amazement, and you just laughed, continuing the cookies.

That night the entire Batfamily gathered in the living room, and you were there as well, watching as Damian verbally sparred with his brothers. Everyone was talking and having a good time, and you were standing against the wall, feeling a little left out, but not wanting to intrude more on Bruce’s life.

That’s when you noticed another kid hanging around the outskirts, he too looked slightly uncomfortable. You made your way over to him, “Hey. I don’t think I know you.”

The boy looked up at you with wide eyes that reminded you of Damian when you first met him.

“You’re Damian’s… you’re Damian’s.” The kid said, and you laughed.

“Good to know that’s my legacy, that I belong to a child.” You snorted and the boy looked a little embarrassed, “But that still doesn’t tell me who you are.”

The boy smiled his face darkening with a blush, “Right. I’m Duke. Duke Thomas.”

“Well Duke. Duke Thomas.” You smiled, and the boy rubbed the back of his neck. You felt bad for embarrassing the boy so badly, but it was really easy, “You look hungry. I made cookies earlier, you like chocolate chip?”

And you felt your heart break a little when you saw how excited this child was, he clearly wasn’t noticed enough. So you took him down to the kitchen where you you had left the cookies, you listened to him as he told you about his day, and you congratulated him when you found out he was president of the Spanish club.

When the two of you returned to the living room Damian came up to your side, and he glared at Duke, “You will leave my Umi alone.”

“Kid.” You said warningly.

“Sorry.” Damian muttered, he didn’t sound sorry. He took your arms and dragged you back to your room.

It was three AM on a Friday night– Well you guess Saturday morning– when the door to your room opened with a loud creak. You were still very much asleep and didn’t notice, even when your visitor tapped on your face, once, twice.

The third time you shot up to see Damian and Duke both standing in front of you, you were shocked to see them.

“Dami?” You croaked out, “Duke? What’s going on?”

Damian shifted from one foot to another, he looked embarrassed. Duke on the other hand didn’t have trouble asking, “We had a … bad patrol. Can we sleep with you tonight. Please?”

That woke you up really quick. You were alert, looking at the two boys, they were both in pyjamas and there was no visible injuries.

“Are either of you hurt?” You asked, pulling the two closer to you.

“No Umi, I just wanted to be with you. I’m not sure why Thomas is here.” Damian muttered, and you didn’t say anything about the comment. You were too busy pulling both the boys into your arms. That night you fell asleep between you two boys, a protective arm slung around them.

You would have serious words with Bruce in the morning.