#being sad

There are a lot of things they don’t tell you about going to college when your boyfriend is almost two hours away. And by they, I mean all the advisers, teachers, parents, friends, relatives, and administrators that are there to prepare you for university life.

They don’t tell you that it can be a really big struggle to figure out the bus schedule and how to visit your boyfriend when he lives 85.5 miles away, in a major, overpopulated city. They don’t help you pack to spend the night with him, or give you bus fare when you need a transfer two counties away from your university.

They don’t tell you how lonely you will get when you’re walking up 6 flights of stairs to your dorm room with nothing but a bag full of anthropology homework, even though we’ve only had class for 3 days.

They don’t tell you how awkward and uncomfortable it is when guys introduce themselves to you, and suddenly act as though you have the black plague when you mention you have a boyfriend studying at a different university, when all you ever wanted to do is get to know someone.

They don’t tell you how you will cry when your roommate isn’t around and how much you’ll miss them. They don’t even give you someone to tell how sad you are.

What they DO tell you, is how you’re “going to make so many friends” and “getting involved is the best way to meet people.” I want to meet people, but I also want to see my boyfriend.

Fin.

Hands, made of tears, grabbing my neck, pushing me deeper into sadness.

This emptiness I felt once

Is still haunting me sometimes

But then you came

To fill this emptiness

I still feel sad sometimes

But I know that you will make everything alright

This loneliness is killing me slowly.

My bed’s too big to be alone

I love rainy nights

Sitting at the window, listening.

Crying in a prom dress.

I’d be the prom queen if crying was a contest.