My mind goes in overdrive a lot like it just can’t stop thinking. It jumps from one thing to another, so erratically I can’t keep up and the thing is nothing makes sense.

When my mind gets like this, my skin gets itchy like I need to do something and I don’t know what it is, I have this dire need to something, anything if it’ll calm my brain but nothing does.

This can last for a day, a few days, a week, a month and the entire time I just can’t think and I still have to pretend to be okay, pretend that I’m coping, but really my thoughts are drowning me.

Hello - a happy 2021 to all. I hope you and yours are keeping well, wherever in the world you may be. My 2021 has gotten off to a rocky start, what with the whole rampage through the US capitol occupying my attention. That and other things. I do, however, have an important aspect of 9 11 10 to talk about - and a favor to ask of readers, if it would interest you.

That aspect is: anti-Semitism in the fic.

Someone has let me know, recently, that the erasure of the land of Israel in my AU, via nuclear war, and the substitution of Eretz Galut as a Jewish homeland - especially being in Russia - is inherently anti-Semitic. I sincerely apologize for any anti-Semitism in this fic.

I think I have figured out a way forward: un-nuke the major cities of the Middle East (except for Cairo, which is on the top-50 population list for 1950 - sorry, Cairo), changing Galut and any Galuti cameos entirely - different purpose, different cultural elements - and making the surrounding land mainly Buryat again, after the Bitva pri Baykale (sorry, centralized Russian surface power and subterranean remaining-U.S.S.R. power.) I also want to get some Sephardic presence in Albany.

The thing is: I’m not Jewish myself. And I do not want to compound anti-Semitism by doing something incorrect. So please, if there are any Jewish readers of “9 11 10″ out there, still, I would appreciate a note in the inbox, if you’d let me pick your brains on some things.

Thanks for reading, and everyone stay well. When you can, get your vaccines and kick the Rona in the teeth!

thinking about

they say distance makes the heart grow fonder

but that’s only because we’ve been gone longer

and i know that this could work

but i’m scared

because the once crystal blue lake

is now filled with murk

I don’t want to leave you

I don’g want you to leave

Because there’s a chance

that you’ll find someone better

Someone who’s there

Someone you don’t have to drive 5 or more hours to see

maybe once a month

I’m scared because I want to spend the rest of my life with you

and I know you do too

But what if someone better comes along

you don’t have to wait for months to see

You’re the one I’m going to grow old with

that much us obvious to you and me

but what if you decide it’s not worth it

that it’s too much hassle and heartache

that there’s a beautiful girl that’s right there

that you don’t have to wait on and drive 5 hours to see

what if she can give you more than me

what if she makes you happier than me

what if she makes it easier than me

what if it’s too hard to love me from so far away

what if it’s too much on you

I want to grow old with you

and live on a little farm house

with our ducks and dogs and cats and lizards and plants

I want a family and a comfortable life

even if we have to struggle

I want you

But what if someone better comes along

and sweeps you off your feet

quicker than i did

better than i did

that you don’t have to drive 5 or more hours to see

fuck im lonely

I need to find a new thing. The more my anxiety is taking over the more I need something to direct my thoughts toward that is not real life.

focused thinking vs diffuse thinking

focused thinking

▫️ targeted, concentrated and narrow thinking

▫️ need for a specific tasks

▫️ essential for acquiring knowledge and understanding

▫️ active

The strength of focused thinking lies in its ability to analyze and solve problems in a sequential manner

diffuse thinking

▪️ general, broad and conceptual thinking

▪️ creates connections and links

▪️ essential for consolidation of memory

▪️ passive

Rather than being focused on a defined path, diffuse thinking allows your subconscious to make unexpected connections between disparate ideas

The trick is not to choose between the two approaches, but rather to cycle between focused and diffuse thinking for the most significant impact

Want to learn an unfamiliar and challenging concept ❓ Study it with focused thinking, then let your brain shift into diffuse thinking. The combination will allow your conscious brain to investigate the idea while your subconscious mind forms new links and connections to embed it into your memory and thinking

“It was in the Klondike I found myself. There nobody talks. Everybody thinks. You get your true perspective. I got mine”

- Jack London

When I actually think about it I really have no other hobbies than the male gaze

Only reblog if your not gay

All I want to do is close my eyes and when I open them be somewhere far away from where I am right now, where no one knows me but everyone wants to, and I a chance to finally be something.

trying to come up w a good song for a robbie edit… what lyrics fit him…

dailynietzsche:

“It is hard to be understood, especially when one thinks and lives as the current of the Ganges moves.”

—F. Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, §27 (excerpt).