It’s Pride 2019 and I’ve made a resolution to pride harder. So I made some humble A-spec pride pins and magnets for myself and thought I’d put them up in case you guys wanted them! You can find them here.
hey guys, so there have been some versions of an aspec flag but none that are very widely used and as someone who wants to identify as just aspec and i’m sure there are many others of you who agree out there i wanted a flag that would fully represent the ace identity! black is lack of attraction, purple represents the asexual side, green represents the aromantic side, gray represents graysexuals and white represents acceptance of everyone in the ace community including those who experience some attraction but are on the aspec
Todd’s suggestion in Bojack for an asexual dating app has received a lot of positive attention from people asking for it to be real and I would like to point out Spades and Arrows already exists it’s an a-spec dating app for both aro spec and ace spec folks! And Ace App which is a social media/ dating app for aspecs
This was a wide a-spec community survey on discovering one’s a-spec identity. @aromagni and I ran it in 2019.
There were 1070 responses to the survey. 744 of these responses were complete - these participants completed the survey in its entirety. A large portion of respondents in this survey (42%) identified as aroace. Most were white Americans. As such, there is a demographic skew and these results are not representative of the whole a-spec community.
The vast majority of respondents indicated they are single. For those in partnerships, a large portion (over 60%) indicated they were dating. Many others indicated they were in unlabeled partnerships or QPRs, with other types of relationships less common.
Almost half of respondents did not identify as queer/LGBTQ+ before discovering their a-spec identities. Interestingly, although the word “aromantic” has not been as popular as “asexual” in many spaces, the earliest respondents identified as either of these was very close, in the early to mid ‘80s. For those who identify as broadly a-spec, the earliest year was 2008. The vast majority of respondents (82.37%) indicated they discovered asexuality before aromanticism. Only 1.79% of respondents indicated they discovered aromanticism first. The remaining 15% reported discovering aromanticism and asexuality around the same time. Similarly, the vast majority of respondents (i.e., 69.58%) indicated identifying as asexual before identifying as another a-spec identity.
Of the a-spec respondents that label different types of attraction, the most common labels relate to platonic and aesthetic experiences. Sexual attraction was the least commonly labeled type of attraction for this sample. Many respondents also indicated that labeling specifically is difficult.
In this survey, we grouped different respondents into a-spec categories, but this is not necessarily a useful or accurate thing to do. Nevertheless, we found some differences between different a-spec people in terms of their experiences of attraction, their relationship status, and whether they identified as queer before identifying as a-spec. The sample size here is small, so further research into these differences is highly recommended.
May 17th is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia
(Image Description under the cut)
IDAHOBIT’s date was selected to commemorate the removal of homosexuality from the World Health Organization’s International Classification of Diseases. While this was a crucial step, many people, including asexual and aromantic people, are still pathologized today and considered in need of medical help. Outside of what’s in our graphic, here are some other ways that ace and aro experiences are pathologized and problematized:
Low sex drive/arousal has two diagnoses in the latest DSM, with an exception for people identifying as asexual. This still treats sex (and particularly a certain amount of it) within romantic relationships as the norm.
A current defining “symptom” of schizoid personality disorder is a lack of interest in romantic dating or sexual behavior.
Aspec experiences are often conflated with autistic experiences, to the point that people are assumed to automatically be both. This hurts ace and aro people, allo autistic people, and autistic people on the aspec.
The “sexual dysfunction” section of the current DSM assumes sex within the context of romantic relationships, making it difficult for nonpartnered aroallos to receive care.
For a deeper dive into this, TAAAP made a whole presentation about how healthcare professionals currently treat aspec people and how they could do better. You can find that here: https://taaap.org/2021/04/23/helping-professionals/
[Yasmin Benoit: You barely see asexual people as it is, let alone a black asexual person.
I am a model and an asexuality activist, and I am an aromantic asexual.
There was never really a time where I didn’t think I was asexual. I noticed when I was about eight and I was in primary school like everyone’s hormones seemed to kick in and all of a sudden the boys and girls didn’t want to just play with each other; they were going out with each other and they fancied each other and I was like, “Alright, what’s this?”
The default is straight so when people would ask me I’d be like “Well I guess I’m straight but I don’t like boys.” And they were like: “Well then you’re probably not straight.” They said: “Well do you like girls?” and I was like “No, I don’t really like anybody.” And they were like: “Well maybe you’re asexual or something?” And I was like “Alright, that sounds good.” So I Googled that and I was like “Yeah, sounds about right.” So when I was about 14, I just started using that word.
I find that most of the time, in my personal life, people just kind of re-interpret it their own way. So I’ll say: “Hey, I’m asexual” and they’ll be like: “Oh ok, so you’re well behaved.” They’ll just switch it. I’ll be like “I’m asexual” and they’ll be like: “Oh, you’ll find the right person, don’t worry” and I’ll be like “That’s not what I said.”
It has nothing to do with being a prude, it has nothing to do with being insecure, and antisocial, and introverted. It has nothing to do with how you look—that’s something I get a lot—people are like: “Oh but you’re good looking, you don’t need to be asexual,” which usually tells me that A) people think that there is an asexual look and that it isn’t a good one, and 2) that asexuality is a choice that people take when they can’t get dates or that they can’t get laid, which is really strange.
One of the benefits of being asexual is definitely that you don’t have to worry about–if you’re aromantic—you really don’t worry about relationship stuff. I know some asexual people do worry about that but I don’t have that problem.
I think that representation is definitely very important because I think the LGBTQIA+ community in general is pretty whitewashed in its representation. That is not only ironic for the community that’s supposed to be so inclusive and diverse if it doesn’t look like that, it’s also counterproductive for minorities that are part of it because it’s kind of seen as being a white thing, which definitely doesn’t help when you are trying to come out and people don’t take it seriously in your community because it’s seen as being this white kid thing.
Even in the LGBTQIA community, I find that people tend to cut out the A or think that the A stands for allies. I notice a lot of the time in organisations or in the media, people only care about the LGBT part and even though they put the plus, they don’t actually acknowledge the plus. But last time I checked the community is about, you know, people that aren’t heteronormative and they don’t fit that and it’s supposed to be inclusive of that. I think that LGBTQIA+ platforms should do a better job of acknowledging what’s in the plus and not just the LGB and the T.]
[Yasmin Benoit: You barely see asexual people as it is, let alone a black asexual person.
I am a model and an asexuality activist, and I am an aromantic asexual.
There was never really a time where I didn’t think I was asexual. I noticed when I was about eight and I was in primary school like everyone’s hormones seemed to kick in and all of a sudden the boys and girls didn’t want to just play with each other; they were going out with each other and they fancied each other and I was like, “Alright, what’s this?”
The default is straight so when people would ask me I’d be like “Well I guess I’m straight but I don’t like boys.” And they were like: “Well then you’re probably not straight.” They said: “Well do you like girls?” and I was like “No, I don’t really like anybody.” And they were like: “Well maybe you’re asexual or something?” And I was like “Alright, that sounds good.” So I Googled that and I was like “Yeah, sounds about right.” So when I was about 14, I just started using that word.
I find that most of the time, in my personal life, people just kind of re-interpret it their own way. So I’ll say: “Hey, I’m asexual” and they’ll be like: “Oh ok, so you’re well behaved.” They’ll just switch it. I’ll be like “I’m asexual” and they’ll be like: “Oh, you’ll find the right person, don’t worry” and I’ll be like “That’s not what I said.”
It has nothing to do with being a prude, it has nothing to do with being insecure, and antisocial, and introverted. It has nothing to do with how you look—that’s something I get a lot—people are like: “Oh but you’re good looking, you don’t need to be asexual,” which usually tells me that A) people think that there is an asexual look and that it isn’t a good one, and 2) that asexuality is a choice that people take when they can’t get dates or that they can’t get laid, which is really strange.
One of the benefits of being asexual is definitely that you don’t have to worry about–if you’re aromantic—you really don’t worry about relationship stuff. I know some asexual people do worry about that but I don’t have that problem.
I think that representation is definitely very important because I think the LGBTQIA+ community in general is pretty whitewashed in its representation. That is not only ironic for the community that’s supposed to be so inclusive and diverse if it doesn’t look like that, it’s also counterproductive for minorities that are part of it because it’s kind of seen as being a white thing, which definitely doesn’t help when you are trying to come out and people don’t take it seriously in your community because it’s seen as being this white kid thing.
Even in the LGBTQIA community, I find that people tend to cut out the A or think that the A stands for allies. I notice a lot of the time in organisations or in the media, people only care about the LGBT part and even though they put the plus, they don’t actually acknowledge the plus. But last time I checked the community is about, you know, people that aren’t heteronormative and they don’t fit that and it’s supposed to be inclusive of that. I think that LGBTQIA+ platforms should do a better job of acknowledging what’s in the plus and not just the LGB and the T.]
Casual reminder that lack of sexual desire/lack of desire to have sex, is still considered a sign of mental illness by a lot of reputable medical organizations. Just in case you forgot aphobia is a thing.
A term for someone who does not experience physical attraction. This person may also be asexual, nonaesthetic, and/or asensual, or they could experience those types of attraction without a physical component.
The aphysical spectrum (aphys-spec) is a broader label that also encompasses those who experience atypical (fluctuating, very little, fluid, demi-/auto-/fray-/etc) physical attraction.
Flag meanings are the same as the original aphysical flag. The aphys-flag meanings are pink-brown for atypical physical attraction, pink-orange for aphys-spec people who still have/want physical relationships, gray for aphysical identity, pink for ace/asen/etc-spec people, and purple for asexual/asensual/etc people.
Aemotional and aemo-spec
A term for someone who does not experience emotional attraction. This person may also be aromantic, nonalterous, and/or a(queer)platonic, or they could experience those types of attraction without an emotional component.
The aemotional spectrum (aemo-spec) is a broader label that also encompasses those who experience atypical (fluctuating, very little, fluid, demi-/auto-/fray-/aego-/lith-/cupio-/etc) emotional attraction.
If you don’t like vowels next to each other at the beginning of words you can call this ‘anemotional’ and ‘anem-spec’.
Also, someone (AndleRandle on Fandom) actually already made an aemo-spec flag but I wanted an official/matching one instead. So sorry Andle! Your flag is fine I just wanted to make my own.
Flag meanings are the same as the original aemotional flag. The aemo-flag meanings are dark pink for atypical emotional attraction, pink for aemo-spec people who still have/want emotional relationships, dark gray for aemotional identity, blue for aro/apl/etc-spec people, and dark blue for aromantic/aplatonic/etc people.
Atertiary and ate®-spec
A term for someone who does not experience tertiary attraction. This person would also be nonamical, asocial, amental, axenial, adomestic, and a[any other type of tertiary attraction].
The atertiary spectrum (ate[r]-spec) is a broader label that also encompasses those who experience atypical (fluctuating, very little, fluid, demi-/auto-/fray-/aego-/lith-/cupio-/etc) tertiary attraction. The ater-spec can also include people who experience some, but not all, types of tertiary attraction.
However some people don’t like the term tertiary attraction because it can imply that types of attraction other than physical/s3xual (3=e) and emotional/romantic are less important. The term eriattraction was created as an alternative and some Fandom users (idk who) suggested that atertiary could therefore also be called noneriattracted (and I suggest that ater-spec could be noneri-spec). Another suggestion to replace tertiary is non-rose. So atertiary could also be called anrose and anro-spec.
Flag meanings are the same as the original atertiary flag. The ater-flag meanings are purple for atypical tertiary attraction, blue for ater-spec people who still have/want tertiary relationships, light gray for atertiary identity, yellow for axen/asoc/etc-spec people, and orange-brown for axenial/asocial/etc people.
Notes:
-Someone who is completely aphysical, aemotional, and atertiary may be considered anattractional (not experiencing any form of attraction at all).
-What counts as physical vs emotional vs tertiary attraction is completely up to the individual! Attraction feels different to everyone and if someone wants to use one if these terms due to being on an a-spectrum that I didn’t explicitly list on the definition that’s fine. (Ex: an apresential person considering themself aphysical or aemotional instead of atertiary).
It’s the a-spec siblings!! I wanted to post these together because they’re both kinda pride themed… I mean, how could I not color Nike in ace colors when the prompt is literally a spade?!
