#black lives are precious
So I just lost a friend.
They’re not dead, but they are to me.
They’re an older white woman, a family friend for years who was a bit like an aunty to me.
But, amongst all the covid panic and current world chaos, she shared and posted some aweful stuff and I realised she was NOT who I thought she was.
Racist and homophobic post came to light and I’m honestly crushed.
I’m lucky, as far as i know my family aren’t bigots, as by choice my friends definitely aren’t either.
But a friend who was made family has betrayed me.
Unknowingly, but the damage is still there.
Being Bi and (a decent fucking human) seeing racist and homophobic posts like that was a huge slap in the face
I might be a closeted bisexual (aside from close friends) but bigotry is bigotry.
I’m fucking mad.
https://medium.com/@rml12488/why-im-an-angry-afrikan-b79dadea7e06
Wrote about some of my first hand ordeals with systematic racism about 5 years ago inspired by the work of a young black woman who wrote on the same subject matter.
It’s very hard to always be strong,
It’s unfair we have to be strong.
But fuck it, we will be strong
So our children and grandchildren don’t have to be.
TW: racism & death
Ok so I know that this is supposed to be a safe space for my fellow black people bc in my eyes we are going through so much pain rn and just need to be reminded how fucking phenomenal we are. But I really don’t know where else to share this experience.
I live in central Europe in one of the most racist countries here. Today during work I saw a message from one of my friends that a black man he knew was found dead in the river after being attacked by a group of white men at an event his new girlfriend invited him to. He died in a city at 3-4pm during the day. Of course the police and media are not covering this death for the soul reason of him being black.
The soulcrushing heartbreak and fear of knowing that it’s more than just weird looks from people you don’t know and passive aggressive insults masked as jokes, but real actual life threatening things is truly horrible. Nothing can compare to the pain of being called a slur in public and no one caring or finding out that people are being killed in your city and the police is doing nothing about it. The anxiety of “what if I’m next?” “What if my friends are next?”. I had a huge anxiety attack but continued my day because I didn’t know what else to do.
So just to anyone reading this, if anyone will read this. Have some compassion because we are going through so much pain rn. Simply not being racist isnt enough, be active bc this is not a trivial issue.
And to any black people who have a similar experience, pls know that you are precious and a gift to this earth and stronger than any hate that’s here. And I feel you and it’s ok to teak a break from the news and social media bc it can lead to ptsd, so pls take care of your mental health.
-LL
