In the couple of days since the release of Childish Gambino’s widely acclaimed This is America video, it’s seemed that the question of his longtime interracial relationship with a white woman and whether or not it takes away from the sincerity of his politically charged, “unapologetically pro-black” video has been the subject of more think-pieces, debates and comment section tussles than the video itself. In one corner, he’s been dismissed as a coon/ sellout and has had the entire agenda of his music video brought under suspicion via the “you can’t talk black and sleep white” argument.
In another, more empathetic, corner, Childish Gambino’s interracial relationship has been defended and described as the typical route taken by black nerds after being rejected by black women whom they claim have never been interested in them or their Naruto comics. Black women, in response, have vehemently denied a wholesale rejection of black nerds with the argument that black male nerds simply want white women and have fabricated a black women’s vendetta against them in an attempt to justify their pursuit of white women. Black women have also highlighted the plight of the black female nerd and claim that their experience has been left out of the conversation entirely.
Now what I’ve seen, in the end, is a denial of the validity of the black male nerd’s claims of rejection by the black woman as well as a minimization of the black female nerd and her position within black nerd culture. Both conclusions are inaccurate.
In actuality, the nerdy black guy and the nerdy black girl are very much interconnected and have similar experiences when looking for love within the black community. Black nerd guys feel scorned by the “traditionally” (by colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) attractive black woman that every black man is told to want. The black nerd likes a big butt n a smile like everyone else. The problem is the big butt n a smile is absolutely not checking for Urkel because she is seeking out the black man deemed traditionally attractive (by the same colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) and is often overlooking any man that doesn’t fit into that mold, aka the black nerd guy. As far as the black nerd girl goes, she too is chasing the colonially defined attractive black man and is also not checking for the awkward, dorky, traditionally unattractive black nerd guy- let’s not pretend that she is. Since the black nerd girl’s interest in men is also governed by colonial beauty standards, she is certainly not checking for Urkel. She wants a fine ass nikka too. However, she’s awkward, dorky and traditionally unattractive so neither the fine ass nikkas, nor the black nerd guy, want her. Both the male and female black nerd end up chasing waterfalls- the traditionally attractive black man/woman whom they are generally denied due to their own traditional unattractiveness- and overlooking each other entirely.
What Urkel means when he says “black women don’t like me” is “Laura Winslow wasn’t tryna gimme no play so I’m throwing all black women away”. It’s a claim based solely off of their history of lofty romantic ambitions, rejected advances and hurt feelings.
That I could respond to common questions, Often meant to fill empty spaces and bring people together.
But our tragic flaw often comes as a result of us looking at the world how we would like it to seem, not for what it truly is.
So despite it seeming simple, it was the opposite. While your curiosity hovered above my being, I for one could not take my my mind off of the tightness in my chest.
The clamminess of my hands. The pounding of my heart against my chest.
And with the slight tilt of your head, A soft brown gaze boring heavily into my own eyes…
I couldn’t help but wonder, “Can you see everything I’m trying to hide?”
And sure enough, If that dreamy stare and those curling lips were any indication…
So simply you could and in truth you already had.“ - Jade Annae Peters
“They sat there dressed in African garb & dark sunglasses listening to the brothas play taking notes We didn’t realize who they were until their next recording had been released: The Beatles Play Soulmusic”
. - Haki Madhubuti
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“He was cool Super-cool Ultrablack A tan/purple Had a beautiful shade He had a double natural that would put the sisters to shame His dashikis were tailor made & his beads were imported sea shells He was triple-hip His tikis were hand-carved Out of ivory And came express from the motherland He would greet you in Swahili and say goodbye in Yoruba Mannnn he was so cool & intelligent Cool-Cool, ultra cool, icebox cool, so cool his wine didn’t have to be cooled He was air condition cool Cool-Cool was so cool he made me cool Cool-Cool so cool we nicknamed him refrigerator Cool-Cool so cool he didn’t know After Detroit, Newark, Oakland, and Chicago We had to remind Cool-cool that to be black is to be very hot”
-Don L. Lee, 1969
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“Attitudes necessary for survival were vigorously pounded into the wooly heads of black boys and girls by their loving mothers. The boys were reared to be Negroes, not men. A negro might survive a while, but a black “man” didn’t live very long…. a black boy aiming to reach “manhood” rather than “Negro-hood” rarely lived that long” - Jamil Al-Amin
“Can we pretend for 5 minutes? Close your eyes And dream in color Paint me your favorite color And outline me with broken chalks You are your favorite fairy tale Your grandmothers recipe to hugs You have scars With time, they transform to memories” - Priscilla Azaglo
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“We struggle with hopes that she doesn’t have to And that her every dream may be pursued, uninterrupted Cuz she’s everything that’s ever mattered And everything that ever will matter”
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I wish I knew words like this Back when life was more pain Back to five in the yard While she cooked water and pig With the salt of her tears - Zula Saata,
