#bungou stray dogs fanfiction
“Things that have been broken once has a tendency of breaking again, despite attempts to save them.”
This Way Lies Madnessby setosdarkness [E, 50k]
“Dazai’s gaze remains to pin him like a wriggling caterpillar against the wall.”
This Way Lies Madnessby setosdarkness [E, 50k]
A Wish
Summary: Wishing on Dandelions with Dazai
Pairing: Dazai x reader
Genre: Comfort, Drabble
Warnings:None
A/N: [repost beacause of tag issues] Having tried to write fluff and failing three times, this is the closest I got, just a rather soft and comforting scenario for Dazai because I’ve been really craving that with him. It’s a little different from my usual fics since I tend to gravitate towards writing established relationship which is not the case here so it’s an experiment you can say.
Spring swept in quietly with a breeze, quieting the whispers of winter and filling the air with the lullaby of her song. She came almost unnoticed, painting his mornings with the sound of birds, adorning each day with the sweet smell of flowers, extending the days until darkness fell. Every moment felt even more fleeting as the world evolved so swiftly around him. Yet, still trapped with the feeling akin to a hole in his heart gnawing with emptiness, Dazai could only wonder if these feelings would ever change.
But even as Spring swept into his life without a care for his sentiments, livening the world around him, but seemingly falling just slightly out of his grasp to change him along with it, he couldn’t bring it in him to fall into contempt. Not when it meant having you sitting beside him, with sunlight filtering through the leaves shining against your hair, light in your eyes as life returned to the Earth after the winter, and a wide smile on your face while you spoke to him picnicking among the flowers.
“Dazai,“ slipping out of his thoughts when he heard his name leaving your lips, a fond smile found its way to his lips. He admits that it caught him slightly off guard, how he finds himself showing some of his true emotions around you even when he is so often wearing such well-practised masks, with his walls up against the world. But when alone with you by his side and filled with tender feelings for you…
"Why don’t we make a wish?” He carefully observed you as you picked two dandelions from around you and held up one to him to take before taking a seat back next to him. "Did you know, they say that if you can blow off all the pappus in one breath your wish will come true?”
Though Dazai was not one to believe in superstitions. Watching you next to him, blowing the dandelion puffs into the sky with a small smile on your face, as if without a care in the world in that singular moment. With the two of you away from the bustling sounds of the cars in the city, and the sky rise buildings that he was so used to looming over him. It felt almost peaceful, like a daydream. And Dazai couldn’t help but feel that there was almost something domestic and even precious about this moment with you that he wants nothing but to cherish and protect, even if it meant from his own negative thoughts.
But seeing so clearly as the pappus float away from you slowly, there was a sense of poignancy that filled him at the elusiveness of them, like a deep sense of longing to hold on to them but never quite able to as if a reminder for Dazai of the people whom he had lost. And gazing at you with faraway eyes, he could only wish that it will not happen with you.
Hearing you usher him to do the same, he could only put on his usual smile to hide his true thoughts before replicating your movements.
As the pappus on his dandelion slowly floats away from him with a puff of his breath with a hint of despondency. Dazai soon noticed a few of the seeds clinging onto the dandelion, refusing to let go.
“Ahh, it seems my wish won’t come true!” Though a dramatic whine filled his voice which he knew would make you laugh, he felt quite differently inside. Even if he felt in slightly low spirits earlier, the sight of the dandelion dissipated those feelings.
“But it’s alright, for now, I already have everything I need.” His sincere thoughts left his lips, with a small smile accompanying it.
Though acutely conscious of being but a small part in an uncaring universe, Dazai found himself reminded, it is not a cruel one. And maybe he can find it in him to soften upon companionship again. And perhaps even intimacy.
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wc: 1.1k
a/n: it’s angst time, friends
Dazai Osamu was an enigma to many, but not to you. He was a criminal, a murderer, a highly lethal and notorious executive for the Port Mafia. But he was a kid. He was just a kid who happened to be completely lost and constantly searching for something to give his life meaning, something to make him feel anything. However, he sought after life in death and light in the darkness.
Someone who understood this as well as you did was Odasaku. Being Dazai’s significant other, you were no stranger to Oda. There were occasions where you were able to actually talk to Oda, sometimes even helping him care for the orphans he looked after. However, you mostly knew Oda through Dazai and his countless mentions of him. Odasaku was a somewhat peculiar man, but he was most certainly kind, and he was someone Dazai needed. The more you observed the relationship between Oda and Dazai, the more it seemed to dance on the line of best friends and mentor-mentee. Either way, you knew that Odasaku was essential to Dazai as a person.
Oda Sakunosuke was one of the most important people to Dazai, which is why the way Dazai looks at you in this moment breaks your heart.
You aren’t sure how you know, but you do. The second you open the door, you can see his face filled with an intense sorrow he desperately tries to mask. Just the way he looks at you brings dread to the pit of your stomach. Without thinking or saying anything, you gather him and all his shattered pieces into your arms. He stands limply in the doorway, head falling onto your shoulder, as you try to place everything you want to say into the embrace.
Gently, you pull away from him and lead him into your apartment. He studies you as you shut the door and turn to face him. The room falls into a silence you simply can’t force yourself to break. You hold your breath, waiting for him to say or do something. In times like these, you would always let Dazai make the first move.
“I have to leave.”
His voice swiftly cuts through the tense air like a knife. Your eyes widen at his words. “Leave?” The word comes out of you quietly and breathily, almost an exhale. Leave what? Leave who?
“I can’t belong to the mafia anymore. But it’s not like I can just quit,” he elaborates. Your heart sinks in your chest, realizing what he was saying. “I have to leave, disappear. Somewhere they won’t find me.”
You clear your throat of any emotion that may seep into your words, shifting in your place. “Okay. Do you know where?” Dazai admires you for a moment. It may not be the proper time, but he can’t stop himself. Rather than try to stop him or beg him to take you with him, you immediately try to help him with his plan.
“Even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.”
You sigh, running a quick hand through your hair. “Alright.” You pause, looking over him for a moment. You try to talk yourself out of even bothering to ask. “Are you okay?” Maybe you shouldn’t have asked, but you could never help yourself when it came to Dazai.
He looks at you curiously, feigning ignorance. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You only respond with a pointed look. Dazai sighs, quickly reading the tiredness and worry resting on your face. This is why he shouldn’t have come. You could always see right through him, always pulled emotions it was best to avoid from him. It would have been safer and easier for the both of you if he had just vanished without a word, but Dazai could never help himself when it came to you.
You blink harshly when you feel the familiar sting of tears as you sit in a tense, bittersweet silence. Not right now. Taking a deep breath, you put on your mask. Smirking, you wave your finger at Dazai, “Well, you better stay safe. I don’t know what you’re going to do without me, but I’ll kick your ass if you don’t come back to me in one piece.”
Dazai huffs out a laugh, swiftly building up a mask similar to your own. He pushes your finger away from him playfully. “As if you could ever land a hit on me even if you wanted to.”
You observe the mischievous smile on his lips and empty look in his eyes. You try to push through it, to ignore the feeling of a breaking heart. You tell yourself to ignore everything for the sake of the moment. However, your mask begins to crack, and you pull Dazai into you before he has a chance to notice. You bury your face in his neck. You weren’t sure whether you were attempting to hide yourself from his peering gaze or attempting to combine your body with his own. The pain you feel in the depths of your heart eases as he gently wraps his arms around you. “I don’t care how long it takes, just please-”Your voice breaks. “Please, promise you’ll come back to me.”
Dazai doesn’t respond, simply holding you in your apartment’s entryway. You take the moment to listen to his breathing, his heartbeat. You breathe in his familiar scent and try to memorize the feeling of him in your arms so you never forget when he has to leave for God knows how long. Slowly, he pulls himself away from your embrace. As softly as he possibly can manage, he presses a tender kiss to the crown of your head.
I promise.
His arms trail up and back down your arms, holding your hands in his own for a moment, before he pulls away from you completely. He turns towards the door, twisting the knob. He doesn’t look back; he can’t afford to. This can’t be goodbye; you don’t want it to be.
“Dazai.” You catch his arm before he has the chance to disappear in front of you. He turns, awaiting what you have to say. You swallow the lump resting in your throat. “I…”Goodbye. “I’ll see you later.”
The bitter smile on his lips mirrors your own. Without a word, he turns and closes the door behind him. You wait by the door, listening as his footsteps fade further and further away. You know better than to believe he’ll change his mind and come running back, but you hope to hold onto him as long as you possibly could. Finally, he disappears and you can’t hear him no matter how much you strain your ears. Your limbs feel heavy and weak as you find tears falling down your cheeks like a summer storm.
That was the last time you saw Dazai Osamu.
wc: 1.3k
a/n: Kunikida really needs some more love. He deserves the world T-T Much like Kunikida learns here, remember that self care is important! It’s okay to take breaks and ask for help. Stay healthy and happy! :)
You narrow your eyes worriedly as you watch Kunikida from across the room. If you didn’t know any better, you would have assumed he hadn’t been sleeping lately. But for someone who follows order and scheduling so religiously, there’s no way that he would skip out on his basic needs, right? Yet, watching him file through paper after paper, dark circles under his eyes, made worry make a home for itself in the pit of your stomach.
“Ah, Kunikida, maybe you should take a break?” you offer, setting gentle hands on his hunched shoulders. You attempt to rub some of the tension out as you watch him work over his shoulder. He relaxes under your touch, but refuses to pause his flurry of paperwork.
“I can’t. I still have forty more cases to file until I’ll have met the quota I set that would allow for my break.”
“F-forty!?” With as tirelessly as he was working, he had only filed twenty cases since coming into the office today nearly three hours ago. “Kunikida, by the time you finish all of that, everyone would have left the office already…”
“I can’t afford to pause with as much work as the President needs done.”
“But you look like you haven’t been sleeping,” you push, “Shouldn’t you at least stop to eat lunch?” Atsushi looks up from his work at your words. He takes a moment to study Kunikida. Worry settles on his face as well.
“(Y/N)’s right, Kunikida. When was the last time you took a break from work?”
Dazai pops his head up from his desk, seemingly waking up from a long nap. “Ah, ah, ah,” he tuts, shaking his finger at you and Atsushi teasingly, “You both should know better by now. Kunikida isn’t going to stop working until everything the President needs to be done is done!” Suddenly, his face morphs into a mischievous grin that reminds you of the Cheshire Cat. “Unless… you happen to distract him from his work by causing trouble for him!”
“Dazai, don’t you dare! Get your damn work done, you walking waste of bandages!” Kunikida snaps, shooting up from his desk and pointing an accusatory finger at the man in front of him. Dazai tiredly flops back over his desk with a groan.
“But, Kunikidaaaaaaa, that’s so much work! There’s no way I can focus. Especially now that I passed a nearby river that looked perfect to throw myself in on my way to work today,” he whines, pressing his face into the wooden desk. Kunikida is about to berate Dazai further when he grits his teeth suddenly.
“I don’t have time for this,” he huffs, sitting back down at his desk. He shuffles through some papers with an angry expression on his face. “Just this conversation has set be back at least two cases.” You sigh at Kunikida’s stubbornness and workaholism, but return to your desk nonetheless. As you stare at your awaiting paperwork, you can’t help but think about what Dazai had said. Causing trouble for Kunikida, huh?
“Tanizaki! Could you come here for a second?” you call. The boy looks up from his work and looks over at you. He points to himself in a questioning manner, confused as to why you would need his assistance. Without giving anything away or further explaining yourself, you smile and beckon him over with a wave of your hand. Obediently, he walks over to your desk. He’s about to question you when you motion for him to come closer. Once he does, you lean in close to his ear and inform him of the plan you had formulated mere moments ago.
“(Y/N), I don’t know if that’s the best idea. Won’t it just make him angry?” Tanizaki anxiously shifts his eyes over to Kunikida’s desk. He doesn’t seem to have noticed your little rendezvous with Tanizaki at your desk as he continues to fill out paper after paper at a frenzied pace.
“It’s the only way.”
Tanizaki nods, and a serious look comes over the both of you. After the two of you review your strategy, you rise from your seat and cautiously approach Kunikida from behind. Slowly, you reach your hands up, creeping closer to his head. You’re thankful for how indulged in his work Kunikida is at the moment, rendering him unaware of your presence. You quietly take a deep breath and ready yourself for the chaos that is about to ensue. Your eyes flicker over to Tanizaki, who nods seriously. Now.
In one fluid swoop, you snatch Kunikida’s glasses from his head. You dash towards the door as quickly as possible. On your way out, you toss the glasses to Tanizaki, who masks the handoff using his ability. You can’t help but giggle as you hear Kunikida angrily call your name, stomping out the door of the agency.
When he finally bursts through the doors of the cafe, you smile up at him innocently. “Kunikida, how nice of you to join me down here!” You gesture for him to join you in the booth you’re sitting in. “I guess you finally decided to take a break?”
He huffs, marching over to you. He holds out his hand to you expectantly. “Glasses,” he demands.
You playfully tap your chin in a faux thoughtful manner. “Hmm… no!”
“(Y/N),” he growls warningly. He massages the area between his eyes tiredly. “I can’t do my work without my glasses.”
“Looks like you’ll just have to take a break then!” you cheer, “What good timing for you to lose your glasses. You can join me for a cup of coffee now!” He narrows his eyes at you, silently demanding you return his glasses without any trouble. However, you refuse to break under his stoney stare. You continue to smile at him, waiting for him to sit across from you like you knew he eventually would. After a shortly lived stand off, he begrudgingly joins you in the cozy booth.
“You know I don’t have time for this,” he grumbles. You thank the waitress for your drinks before turning back to him.
“I also know that you’re too stubborn to willingly take a break.” He glares at you, sipping his coffee. However, he fails to hide his sigh at the relaxing warmth of the drink as he relaxes in his seat.
“Not too stubborn. Too busy,” he corrects. You roll your eyes at him, taking a drink from your own cup.
“Then you’re too stubborn to ask for help,” you tease lightly. However, your smile fades as your expression turns serious. “You know, you wouldn’t be this busy if you just asked for anyone to help you out.”
“I don’t need to ask for help. I can handle my workload just fine,” he insists. You sigh, reaching across the table to take his folded hands in yours. A light blush graces his cheeks, and he refuses to meet your eyes.
“I understand that your work is important to you, Kunikida,” you start. He sighs at your words “But you’re important to me, so please take care of yourself.”
He smiles softly, finally meeting your eyes. “Okay. I’m sorry for worrying you.” You smile at him warmly, getting up and rounding the table to cup his face and gently kiss his forehead.
“You stay here a bit longer. I’ll get started on some of those cases you need finished, okay?” He ignores your order and starts to get up to follow you, but you push him back down into his seat. “I won’t give your glasses back until you’ve taken at least a half hour break.”
He grumbles to himself but complies nonetheless. You laugh at his childish pout and decide to swoop down to capture his lips in your own. Lovingly, you stroke his cheek and savor the sweet moment. Slowly, you pull away. “I’ll see you in a bit then. I love you.”
He smiles, cheeks tinted pink at your gentle display of affection. “I love you too.”
