#celeborn
She’s the only one who left
LOTR Elf Headcanons
Disclaimer: I love the LOTR trilogy but this is how I prefer to imagine the elves from the books.
-They’re inhumanly tall. Like, over 7ft.
-If you’re not used to them, then they’re fucking terrifying. Aragorn doesn’t get it.
-Creepily quiet. They are not inclined to fill the silence with unnecessary talk. It makes humans uncomfortable.
-They have Angelina Jolie’s Maleficent cheekbones.
-They’re not telepathic, but you still get the distinct feeling that they’re talking about you.
-By the Lord of the Rings, they are so rare that many believe they do not exist. The elves take advantage of this, and scare the shit out of humans regularly.
-They really like sex. I cannot explain this one, it’s just in their vibe.
-Don’t like being touched by people they don’t know, but if you do know them well, then they have no sense of personal space.
There are more but I can’t remember
Something That Makes Me Sad
The idea that the Silvan elves in Lorien lost their culture and traditions while under Noldor/Sindar rule.
Imagine the Lorien elves visiting the Woodland Realm after the War of the Ring and Thranduil purposely inviting them when there is some sort of Silvan festival going on. He just assumes that similarly to his people, despite Sindar/Noldor rule, they would still observe it. But they don’t and they have forgotten how to celebrate it. They see the Mirkwood elves celebrating as they had done millennia ago and how the House of Oropher have embraced it and not sanitised* it.
Thranduil drinking with highest ranking silvans and laughing loudly in a completely undignified way. Legolas dances with his people and smokes the sweet smelling herbs that make your brain go numb. Yes, they can play the part of the Sindar Lord very well, but their hearts’ rest with their people, not with their lineage.
They meet Thranduil’s Silvan Queen (she’s alive and Silvan and I won’t take any criticisms on this), who drapes her legs over her husbands and rests her head on his shoulder when she gets sleepy. The Lorien elves could not imagine their own Lord and Lady acting in such a way in public.
In conclusion, while the Sindar may have brought order to the Silvan elves, in Mirkwood they did so without compromising what made them Silvan to begin with. The Sindar are just there because the Silvan’s don’t know how to negotiate a trade deal, which is fair enough considering that isn’t exactly an everyday skill.
*The word ‘sanitised’ is not a COVID joke. When colonial powers would go into areas, they would often force changes upon cultural traditions to bring them into line with their own culture.
[ID: a photo of a digitally painted tarot card depicting an elf, Celeborn, standing in a forest. He wears long blue robes and holds a sword. The card border is made of vines, rings, and elvish writing, and is labeled: “King of Swords” /ID]
Lord of the Rings Tarot: King of Swords: Celeborn
bunch of elves to have some variety and to get back on track after two very busy weeks
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(Maeglin looks like the edgiest goth chick in Gondolin I’m so sorry)
Honestly, in all the discussions of the Many Dads Of Elrond Peredhel, I feel like Celeborn is consistently overlooked when he absolutely shouldn’t be
The Ideal yet unlikely scenario is that after the sack of Eregion, Celeborn is like “Oh god I want to parent this elf so much but of course I can’t, he’s an adult and I have no right to patronize him, I shall be content to have him as a friend who I will not parent under any circumstances”
Celeborn is subsequently happy about Celebrian’s engagement A Normal And Sensible Amount
Celeborn
I understand now why you never liked Fëanor. I imagine looking at him was rather like looking in a mirror.
- Celeborn, during a fight with his wife, Unfinished Tales, The History of Galadriel and Celeborn
Arwen: Can I go out?
Elrond: Ask your mother.
Celebrían: Ask Erestor.
Erestor: Ask Glorfindel.
Glorfindel: Ask Lindir.
Lindir: Ask Lady Galadriel.
Galadriel: Ask your grandfather.
Celeborn: Ask Thranduil.
Thranduil: Ask your father.
(Arwen from that moment on always asks her brothers because they always say yes.)