#coping with trauma abuse disorders
“Your peace is more important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did. Let it go.”— Mandy Hale
I compulsively try to understand things; it’s a core personality strength and I’m proud of it. However if I let it run away with me then it can lead to madness.
I’ve learned that sometimes other people do things without sensible reasons. It’s an alien concept to me but not to most of the world. I’ve got to get used to that.
This is that whole “stare into the abyss” thing, I suppose.
^ I can relate… that’s how I almost always was. But after developing Borderline Personality Disorder, let me tell you… if you keep obsessing over what happened to you, why it happened to you, who is to blame - and if those people ever “pay”, or letting your paranoia just run unbridled that it could (or that it will definitely) happen to you again… it can definitely lead to madness.
Trust me – obsessing over what happened and whose “fault” it is won’t change what happened, and paranoia almost never (IF ever) actually saves you in the end. By letting those emotions fly unchecked, all you’re doing is shooting yourself in the foot over and over and over and over again. All that’ll happen is you suffering faaaaaaaaaar longer than is necessary.
Some of us need professional help to learn how to let go - for me, personally, I need dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) - and that’s okay. What’s important is that you do (re)train your brain to let go, and to find positives in your life… or no matter the situation or relationship you’re in, you’ll simply always be miserable. It is SO(!!!!!) important to learn how to focus more on the positive things, and let go. So focus more on the things that you CAN control - like taking accountability for your own words and actions so that you don’t contribute (anymore) to any toxic cycles (and understand that accountability doesn’t mean falling into the self-blame hole - but simply taking your power over yourself back), and finding an effective treatment plan for yourself - including therapy, taking self-help advice from licensed therapists, medication, etc. - and learning how to cope with your pain in healthy ways so that you can finallymove on.
We can do it
Believe that you can, because you can.
