BPD POST #20

that moment when you stop reading a book because you’re getting too emotionally attached to the characters and you won’t be able to handle it when the book ends

BPD POST #19

When you took all the precautions to make sure a FP would never leave, but they do.

BPD POST #18

you want to have a close friend, a #fp, but then you instantly push them away because you’re scared they’ll hurt and/or leave you.

BPD POST #17

emotional instability.

BPD POST #17

Wishing you could leave your body because you hate yourself so much.

BPD POST #15

Borderline personality disorder? More like big penis disorder. No wonder we all suffer so much, all the blood flow goes from our head to our ginormous penis

.•° .·:·. Boy’s Abyss .·:·. °•.

Pros of weaning off some of my meds:

• Spending less money ✅
• Feeling Progress in Recovery ✅

Cons of weaning off some of my meds:

• It’s almost 5am I’ve been trying to sleep for 3 hours but one of my meds I’m no longer taking used to make me sleep in 30 minutes and it seems I’ll need to get used tl falling sleep without them ❌

I’ve been clean for almost two years but the fact that I hit 25 years of age and am still a virgin makes me feel an urge to cut myself again

Well here’s to the bonding-over-self-harm-issues pub session with Alexi Laiho (from Children Of Bodom) I’ll never have now

So I haven’t counted the days I haven’t self-harmed because I don’t remember the last day I did it, but a couple weeks ago I found my blades rusted all over after several months without seeing them and now I’ve thrown them and my lighter away

Can anyone congratulate me pls

Pedicure: wow, you really have a high tolerance for pain, don’t ya!

My self-harmer ass:

“These scars long have yearned for your tender caress”

My self-harmer ass:

Things that make me feel loved 

( ) Friends 

( ) Family 

( ) Significant other 

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Ola Gjeilo’s music

I honestly just wish I could erase my existence from people’s minds

I hate remembering that people, like, have thoughts and opinions and judgements about me and/or my actions

Can they just

Like

Not

Tell me to “ask you” for your attention again. Tell me.

Offline “friends” are only disappointments after disappointments

So I’m reading a scientific paper about neurobiological developmental psychology of Borderline Personality Disorder and it talks about the Social Baseline Theory according to which we (as in every human, not just us with BPD) NEED other people for co-regulation of emotions and feelings because when someone must be completely self-reliant and can’t count on anyone else it overwhelms their brain regions related to emotional and interpersonal regulation and such depletion can be a risk factor for BPD, and the thing with non-BPD folk is that they know they can trust others and be safe with them and that by itself helps them regulate their emotions even when said others aren’t with them at the time

So honestly fuck each and every one who keeps preaching about how the only person we can trust is ourselves and how we’re supposed to be okay on our own and that wanting to be able to count on others is “needy”, “clingy”, “no one even has that”, as if pushing us into further interiorization and isolation is actually going to help instead of making things worse

(the paper)

Garfield without garfield comics are an absolute treasure trove for mentally ill moods just LOOK

How many bad OKC opening messages are you allowed to send before you’re forced to die alone?