traumacore/cope haters rlly be like: ‘i can afford therapy and accommodations so you should too!!!!!!!! u have no excuse to nOt be as privileged as me!!1!1!!!! ’

trauma ticking bomb and the detonator froze

they probably went in her room they probably thought she’s asleep

“she aint half your height, pick on someone else tonight”

i feel like people see nccsa as “lesser” than contact csa and i am here to tell y'all as someone who was preyed upon entirely online by a dude and as someone who was also physically touched,, they both fucking suck very hard and we shouldnt act like one is like… less damaging

the fact that there are ddlg blogs that will follow like csa trauma vent blogs is fucking disgusting but somehow im not surprised that people who like to pretend to sexually abuse children would be interested in the blogs of people who were sexually abused as children

Can I ask someone who’s been to residential a question?

I’m being admitted to residential tommorow morning and I want to know more about the admission process, what’s it like? Is there a strip search? How closely do they check your bags?

being afraid that someone’s only talking to you to use you, make fun of you behind your back, or blackmail you

always feeling usless and unwanted or needed

praying someone sees your bruises and marks and notices how you go to the nurse every day for icepacks and helps you. please take me away.

always feeling like you’re in danger

paralyzing anxiety through your entire body when anything bad happens. you seize. you can’t move. am i too scared or just unable?

anxiety making your body heavy and slow. fear making you speak slowly, quietly, and carefully.

talking quickly out of fear of being cut off before you can finish your sentence, even if who you’re talking to has never cut you off before

flinching. all the time.

reverie-system:

I don’t usually share my art, but this piece means a lot to me and I wanted to share it with you all.

I wrote this poem during a very dark time in my life. I’m not out of it yet, but I’m slowly getting there. I do a lot of work like this, which I share over at my venting blog. If you’d like to see it, please do so with caution! My vent blog has a standing trigger warning for all posts. (Blog: @traumacope)

Lyrics from 6.18.18 by Billie Eilish

fatalmary:

GOD what happened to me. Who defiled me. I can feel it. There are memories out of place. I knew things before I should have known them. I touched myself religiously when I was only six. What did you do? Who are you? Why can’t I remember?

This is exactly how I feel and it’s killing me.

(It’s October and I’m still hurting)

I’m just gonna go ghost on my psychiatrist because I feel like he’s just flirting with me during 2 hours and not helping at all this is sick.