#duck newton
Duck:If we ever fight a monster that could control the power of heart, we’re all fucked, because that is the most powerful element imaginable. I mean, I’ll fucking stab love, I don’t care.
Aubrey:Well, I’ve got good news, and, uh… potentially bad news. Good news is I think we’re safe for the time being, ‘cause whatever was in that pool seems to be gone.
Duck:All right, mission accomplished. Good work, Pine Guard.
Aubrey:Then we’ve got the bad news, which is… I think maybe it went into, you know, all the water? Like in town? I think it’s not confined to the pool.
Duck:Well… fuck.
Griffin: Duck, what do you do?
Justin: So, I’ll tell you what Duck does. Duck has his sword out and he… just stands there. He doesn’t have any idea what to do. He knows that his friend is in danger, he knows that there’s a monster in the thing, and he’s got nothing. For Duck, this is like… it’s 100 percent the situation that he kind of feared would happen. He doesn’t know how to do this. He doesn’t know what to do. And I don’t think he does… anything.
Aubrey:[in awe] The perfect ‘phoon…
Duck:I’ve always heard tale of it, but I never thought I’d see it with my own eyes.
Aubrey:This is exactly how he would want to die.
Duck:[referring to himself] Ah, what a goose.
Senior Citizen: I thought your name was Duck?
Duck:It’s a nickname.
Griffin:[referring to Duck] Okay, so you were kind of a wastoid, and then you discovered the beauty of the pines.
Justin:Well, no, he just wanted to- he hid in the pines. I mean, like, I think it feeds into… he wasn’t somebody with an abiding love of the world. He wasn’t someone with a call to duty. He wasn’t somebody who thought he was headed for big things.
Duck:We’ll pass this all along to Zeke and the boys over at the sheriff’s office.
Griffin:This fucking character list is getting…
Duck: We’re kind of… enthusiasts into this sorta… cryptozoological world. You know that weird stuff happens here in Kepler. And Ned’s got his sort of interests, and Aubrey’s got hers, and I’m interested in like, creatures and stuff, and Aubrey’s interested in magic, and Ned likes to keep track of like, how people make up monsters and stuff. They call ‘em cryptids, but-
Calvin:I’m not making this up. [nervous laugh] Oh, God.
Duck:Oh, no, I know, I know, I know, I know, no no no, I understand. What I’m tellin’ you is… we have… weird stuff happens in Kepler, right? Like, that won’t come as a surprise to you. We all know it. But sometimes people who have ill intentions like to use that to try and cover up whatever, you know, dark stuff they wanna get up to. So we know about the sorta cryptozoological stuff. We’re interested in it. Sometimes we’ll just like to help out, poke around, poke a few holes, and make it a little bit easier for the real heroes,
The Adventure Zone - Amnesty
Duck“It’s A Nickname”Newton