I’ve heard that many people prefer the purple and green aroace flag to the sunset one, so here’s a few of my prior background themes in the purple and green color scheme (made in WOMBO dream).
Tree of life, lotus flower, starry sky, ocean waves, fireworks, explosion, clouds, waterfall, sunrise
it’s difficult, it’s all just so difficult in a way that doesn’t quite make sense.
we go out to get something to eat together and there’s moment
after moment where i look at your hands or make you laugh and all
i want is more of it, more of those little moments and more,
your eyes on me, my head on your chest,
fingers moving deftly around a knife in a kitchen flooded with light,
something warm and soft and full that stings in a pleasant sort of way.
and it should be easy, i’ve always liked a little blood, always liked
the way a knife glints, always liked how it hurts when people turn away.
but it’s something different altogether, the scene’s washed in
some different kind of light. the actors are moving the same way,
we’re moving the same way, but everything is washed in red and crimson
instead of yellows and blues like it usually is, everything screams
danger and panic and grief, and it’s not familiar. it’s all wrong.
the knife raises and raises and then falls, and halfway down i can
see how it’ll all turn out, see the reflection in the camera lens, and it’s what i always wanted;
a hand reaching out to a flame and getting burned, then recoiling,
something glass and fragile being dropped from a height and shattering,
destruction and desolation and isolation and failure,
all these things i usually wanted, destruction just the way i liked it,
so why is everything crimson? where’s the horror movie soundtrack coming from?
fine, let’s change the scene. we’re on a road trip and i’m driving even
though my hands tremble on the wheel and you’ve got the radio cranked up
and you’re laughing and tossing an energy drink at me
and you look beautiful in the golden hour light and suddenly i’m hitting the brakes
and pulling off to the side of the highway because the gold shifted to crimson again.
this shouldn’t be difficult. it isn’t for everyone else.
they’ve always said it’s what makes us human. so why is it so difficult?
the director shouts again, again from somewhere and the scene shifts once more.
i’m sitting in a room illuminated by a screen your name is on and your voice is
in my ears and i’m laughing, and you’re laughing, and everyone is laughing.
you must notice that something is off because you remind me that you love me, that i’m a great friend,
but suddenly my hands are shaking again, over the keys now, and i hope
you don’t notice how unsteady my voice is when i laugh back at you,
that you don’t notice how the blood seeps out from the hollow of my chest
and trails down my ribcage, each beat twisting the knife a little more.
once more, with feeling, as if just saying that doesn’t wrench open the wound again.
we’re sitting under an old magnolia at the edge of my yard, secluded and rural.
you could scream and no one would hear you, you tell me,
and so i scream, and keep screaming, til my throat’s raw and
everything comes out red and half-gurgled. i scream and you look at me
and hold out a magnolia blossom, and we lie there together under the branches
in the hot july heat, waiting for the bad feelings to be chased away,
the knife cast away and left to rust in the tall grass somewhere else.
but that’s still not right.
but now i’ve pushed too hard and something’s wrong with the lighting on set,
crimson to green and grey and white, everything’s flashing and it’s hard to think,
and i think i see someone’s face, and i think they’re good and lovely and beautiful,
but everything is flashing and i can’t be sure, because everything is flashing
and my head is pounding and it’s too difficult to put a name to it.
what i’m feeling must be fear, but which kind? what i’m feeling
must be panic, but in what way?
when i see their face, am i afraid because i want something normal and friendly?
when i see their face, am i afraid because i want something else?
i keep trying to ask but the lights keep flashing and nobody answers.
this page of the script is blank and the director is shrouded in shadow and unresponsive.
tell me, which is it? is it love or not? can i feel love or not? can i be loved or not?
but there’s nobody working on set and i don’t know how to make the lights stop flashing.
the way they blend into each other, the way the crimson always finds a way to peek through the rest,
the way it’s all so overwhelming and god damn it’s so hard to think.
it’s supposed to be what makes us human. how are you supposed to know?
how can anybody know when it’s like this? are the lights flashing for everyone else?
fondness either grows or festers, then it’s shoved into my arms
and i have to figure out what to do with it. how am i supposed to know what it even is when the lights keep flashing?
i want to have someone, i want to be certain,
i want the scene to be holding hands in a well-lit room instead of being blind in the dark,
i want light, and i want gold, and i want the bad feeling to stay away.
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hi, i’m ic and i’m grey-aromantic.
i’ve been feeling and thinking a lot about what that means to me lately, and figured that valentine’s day is as good a day as any to make a bit of that public, partly because i know i appreciated reading about other people’s experiences when i was trying to figure shit out, and partly because i’ve had this on my mind for so long that i kinda just want to share it.
until recently, i never had crushes. as a kid, i always figured i’d have a high school sweetheart, or find someone who makes me nervously excited with just a look eventually. and then i didn’t. for a while i thought i was aromantic, but when i found the term grey-aromantic (or grayro), something just clicked. here was a word for what i’d been feeling, or maybe what i hadn’t been feeling. here was validation for never having dated or had a crush, for feeling drawn to people but being uncertain regarding whether it was platonic or not, for having such a strange relationship with relationships.
a little over a year ago i started reading up on grey-aromanticism and felt that click. i finally stopped lying and telling myself i was completely aromantic (which was partly because of low self-esteem and partly because i’d never had a crush, which isn’t to say that aromantics are invalid because they’re just sad, not at all; that was merely my experience), and told myself that if i felt drawn to someone, i’d genuinely explore it instead of shutting it down like i had before.
onemaybe-a-crushand oneprobably-almost-certainly-a-crush later and my perspective has changed a bit, especially after the former. it made me realize that a significant part of me, in spite of all the anxiety and self-image issues, actually wants a partner. which sounds lame but as someone who spent a long time convincing myself i’d never have or deserve that, it feels nicer than i expected.
so yeah. happy valentine’s day, especially to my ace/aro spectrum folks. you’re not broken, no matter what a holiday might try and claim.
Tom has mentioned during the ACE comic con panel that he has known about the scene for two years.
This was what Thanos said in this test footage: “I got the information that I need, and now I have to break your neck. It’s just the way it is.”
For reference, here’s some stuff from the Avengers: Infinity War director’s audio commentary during the opening scene:
McFeely: We’re starting the script in December, say January of 2016. There’s no Ragnarok script. They’re in in various stages of development, and so the first scene of this movie changed a bunch. And until we figured out that they were gonna end on a trip off of a destroyed Asgard, we didn’t know where Thanos would find Loki.
Markus: We did know we wanted Thanos to come to Loki. And we would find him in any… We have drafts of him in any number of places.
McFeely: It establishes a vengeance story for Thor by taking out his brother and arguably, his best friend.
Joe Russo: Part of what we wanted to do out of the gate was to unsettle you as you’re watching the film. You’re sitting in the theatre thinking, “Most characters in the Marvel Universe have been safe for a decade.” And we wanted to knock you off-kilterandmake theaudience understand that the stakes were going to be significant and the cost was going to be very high in the movie.
Markus: And in that regard, this scene does away with a lot of things from the ongoing MCU. That was… The first MacGuffin from the first Captain America movie just got crushed and stuck into a glove.
Anthony: Bye bye, Tesseract.
Markus: And shortly, the villain from the first Avengers movie…
McFeely: Right. Arguably the best villain in the MCU…
Markus: …will achieve a similar end.
Anthony: Aside from establishing… introducing Thanos as our lead and POV in the movie, this scene also heavily kicks off Thor’s arc in the film.
Anthony: The one thing that’s wonderful, one thing we all really responded to about Thor is where he’s left at the end of Ragnarok with the destruction of Asgard… And there’s something fascinating about exporing these people as you strip away who they are and their built-out identities, and find out what’s left. I think we’re going through a very similar process with Thor in this film, especially with this scene, we’re sort of completing the experience that Ragnarok brought to Thor in the sense that we’re taking away the rest of everything away from him.
McFeely: And remember, he (Thanos) had a relationship with Loki even if it was off-screen where he entrusted him with a duty in Avengers 1 and Loki failed, so...
Joe: He’s making him pay.
McFeely: Yeah. Thanos has a long memory.
Anthony: Yep. Fair enough.
Part of an interview with the IW screenwriters:
Stephen McFeely: Hemsworth came to set, and went, “You guys really need to understand that we are doing something different with Ragnarok.” And we knew they were changing it some, but it was so early in the process, so we flew [Ragnarok screenwriter] Eric Pearson and [director] Taika Waititi in and we had long conversations with them. There are at least a couple of jokes in there Taika himself said in passing that we thought were gold. They showed us a few scenes, so we knew that Thor was being re-toned. And we needed to embrace that.
Christopher Markus: But it was also the realization that even in the “funny” one [Ragnarok], his father and his sister die, and that he’s almost becoming comically unlucky at this point, and to follow that to its natural conclusions.
So in summary, Loki’s death scene was decided since two years ago and he mainly died for the following purposes:
Set the tone for the movie by showing Thanos’ cruelty
For shock value
Give place to the new “best” MCU villain Thanos
Fuel Thor’s motivation for revenge, to further Thor’s storyline and character development from where he left off in Ragnarok
Evidently,none of the above reasons has anything to do with Loki’s arc and character development.
In terms of narrative, it was mentioned in the IW commentary that here Thanos was actually punishing Loki for failing to fulfill his duty in the first Avengers film, but IMO that’s just a load of crap. Thanos was already going to leave the ship; it was Loki who suddenly popped up with his butter knife. Also, what Loki was promised in Avengers was this: “You will long for something as sweet as pain.”
But how could death be worse than pain for Loki, when he had already let himself die twice before? (Just in case anyone wishes to protest that he faked his own death in Ragnarok, please read thisfirst)
In TDW he even said this: “If I am for the axe, then for mercy’s sake, just swing it.”
Loki isn’t afraid and does not cower in the face of death, unlike what had been portrayed of his character in Ragnarok, which was just OOC af. Though I’m glad they rectified this part of his character in IW, the way he died was just too needlessly brutal and meaningless, and also stupid. If the writers truly meant for Thanos to punish Loki in the worst possible way like what was foreshadowed in A1, to be honest it would make more sense to kill Thor instead (just saying). But as it is, the directors and writers were just making excuses and don’t actually care.
I assert that this is a direct result of Thor: Ragnarok. Those who don’t follow the Ragnarokdiscussions may think this is ridiculous, but really, it’s not. This was what I wrote on 20 Apr, before IW was released:
“…when you consider the fact that Thanos arrived right after he said that, and just minutes after he had told Loki ‘Maybe you’re not so bad after all’. It only proved Thor*’s opinion about Loki right–because of course Thor* can never be wrong–that Loki was just never-ending trouble.
And what I’m worried about is that this will be taken into Infinity War and Loki will be made the scapegoat again.I don’t want Thor* to blame him again and make him feel like the only way he’ll be worthy of his brother’s love and forgiveness is to sacrifice himself to make up for his mistake of taking the Tesseract.”
I couldn’t believe this ended up being exactly what happened in IW, and I hated it so much. While the rest of the audience was laughing, my blood ran cold the moment Thor told Loki “you really are the worst brother”.
By now I think we can all agree that what Loki said—“I hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity”—was meant for Thor. If anyone’s not convinced, here:
‘Undying Fidelity’ was the title of the soundtrack that was playing from the instant Loki started saying ‘I, Loki, Prince of Asgard…’ to the moment Thor collapsed over his body.
Loki was crying when he said that. Assuming those were Loki’s tears (in character), then it was almost as if Loki had been prepared to die, as though his futile attempt at killing Thanos was deliberate. Why?!?!?! Just because Thor changed his mind about saying “maybe you’re not so bad after all” and told him he was the “worst brother”, so he wanted to prove his fidelity using his life??? It was foolish and OOC, is what I think.
But then again, if we consider his character and their relationship in Ragnarok,it might not be that out of character after all… As a case in point, I’ve seen someone say this:
If Loki couldn’t even trick Thor in Ragnarok, what makes you think he can outsmart Thanos?
InRagnarok, his character was twisted and reduced to comic relief, his sacrifice and redemption in TDW was made to seem like a sham and a joke. A previously complex, multifaceted character was simplified into a misbehaving and terrible brother who would betray his only remaining family for the sake of money(?!). When the God of Mischief was asked whether he had a better idea than “get help”, he answered “no” as though it was supposed to be obvious. The graceful, regal, composed and witty prince of Asgard was played for a fool throughout most of the film. His brother criticized him in a way that made it sound like he had always been incorrigible, even though that’s definitely not true if you watched the previous films. Only when he compromised and became “good” on Thor*’s terms after listening to Thor*’s bullshit of a speech was he deemed redeemable.
In short, Ragnarok “put him in his place”, downplayed his powers, stripped him of his purpose, wits, importance and independence as a character, never gave him the equality and respect he wanted.
The IW writers said this:
“…the first scene of this movie changed a bunch. And until we figured out that they were gonna end on a trip off of a destroyed Asgard, we didn’t know where Thanos would find Loki.”
“We did know we wanted Thanos to come to Loki. And we would find him in any… We have drafts of him in any number of places.”
But with how Ragnarokended up, it became entirely too convenient. It made him too easy to kill off—they could simply make him sacrifice himself for his brother again, since his sacrifice in TDW was retconned into a faked death anyway.
There wasn’t a need to think of an intricate plot for a character who no longer seemed important—they only needed to put the final nail in the coffin. Since it would serve all their purposes anyway, why not?
