Poe Dameron is kind, smart, funny, and brave…dare I say he’s asexual?
he’s gay
hes gay
he’s gay
he’s gay
he’s gay
he’s gay
he’s gay
he’s gay
he’s gay
He is gay
he’s gay
he’s gay
He’s gay
He’s gay
Let op have their fucking headcanon Jesus fucking Christ you people!
@breezyvocalist yeah I agree, it’s not great. I get turned off by people doing that sometimes. Although I don’t think OP meant it like that. I think they ment that here’s all those things AND asexual.
yeah i totally get that. it’s just that the wording is a little strange.
OP here to say that the wording was like that on purpose. at the time the post was made ace exclusionists were making all sorts of nasty posts like ‘I’ve never seen Donald trump jerk off….dare I say he’s asexual?’ and ‘Ronald Reagan was disgusted by gay sex…dare I say he’s asexual’ and I made the post as a way to both provide a positive asexual headcanon and to subvert the implication that terrible people are asexual. Of course being brave and kind doesn’t automatically make someone ace, and any sexuality can have those traits. The intent of the post was not to insinuate otherwise, just to subvert a nasty exclusionist meme in a positive way
Note: This isn’t an insult/sassy come back to people to asking valid questions/statements (well maybe a bit sassy lol), none of it’s meant to offend people that are calmly trying to educate themselves to lgbtq+. Questions are always welcome!
How To Navigate A Casual Sexual Relationship As An Alloaro
Preface - Before I begin this post I just want to get some things out of the way. This is general advice from my own experiences, and every experience is going to be different! That being said, there will be mentions sex and sexual activities and attraction in this post so if that make you uncomfortable please be cautious. There is no material out there for alloaro’s specifically, so this is a post for us.
So, you’re alloaro and you want to navigate a healthy sexual relationship? Well well, you’ve come to the right place my friend! There is a distinct lack of resources like this for alloaro’s in our community, so the following is a compiling of advice from your friendly local Achillean Alloaro on healthy casual relationships! Lets get the basics out of the way first.
Boundaries & Expectations
Boundaries and expectations are extremely important, esspecially in casual relationships. Not only for your partner, but also for you. Make your boundaries clear and known before anything. Some things you might want to bring up to your partner before going through with things:
Casual sex is not a show of romantic interest or affection
Any terminology you are uncomfortable with during sex (i.e, being called certain romantically coded pet names or expression of romantic attraction)
No pressure to be romantically involved after casual sex
Expectations should also be known beforehand. It should be very clear that romantic attraction should NOT be assumed after sex. Esspecially if your partner is not aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum.
With that out of the way, lets discuss more general tips and practices for safe casual sex.
Use Protection
This one is a bit of a no brainer but should still be said. Its best to use protection during any kind of sex. Not only does it help prevent pregnancy but it also protects against STD’s! Incase it was never taught to you, here is a quick guide to properly using a condom:
Be careful while opening the packaging and make sure the condoms are not expired! The expiration date is often printed on both the box and the individual wrapping.
When putting a condom on, make sure to pinch the tip and leave a small well to help prevent tearing.
Condoms should unroll easily. If it doesn’t unroll, it might be on the wrong way. Be carefull not to tear the material by tugging too much.
Unroll the condom fully, never halfway or even a 1/3rd of the way to ensure it doesn’t tear or come off. It it does, replace it immediately.
Establishing Limits With A Partner
Similar to boundaries and expectations, you should make sure your partner is aware of your limits! Whether it be someone you’re only going to sleep with once, or someone you are mutually involved with. Its okay to experiment, however you should be cautious of any limits you or your partner might have. This goes for physical limits such as positions or what kinds of acts they comfortable with, kinks, etc. However it also applies to other limits such as when your partner is willing to have sex (as even alloaro’s have limits. Anyone who experiences sexual attraction and is aromantic can ID as alloaro, which includes greysexuals who don’t always feel sexual attraction).
A Note For Alloromantics
If you are someone who isn’t alloaro or not aromantic at all reading this, a note specifically for you. Its important to keep in mind that all alloaro’s experience and express sexual attraction differently. Alloaro’s can be many thing, but one thing they aren’t is predatory. Its extremely harmful to expect romantic involvement after casual sex with an alloaro even if you are in a QPR. Do not pressure them into a relationship afterwards, and never slut shame an alloaro for lacking romantic attraction.
This post is a bit of a mess but its something at the very least. As an alloaro who enjoys engaging in casual sex, I have a lot of personal experiences and advice to give other alloaro’s, so please feel free to ask any questions you might have. I am always willing to answer! Happy Aromantic Awareness Week, and as always No Romo
Hey, do y’all remember the time that an exclusionist literally parroted the anti-LGBT+ arguments of days long past in saying that the asexual identity is just a sexual dysfunction (reminiscent of the days when homophobes would say that being gay was just a sexual dysfunction)?
Because I remember.
Nefarious Asexual Scheme of the Day:
1. Create a sex-positive environment where people don’t have to feel shame about sex
2. Rearrange our identities around hating sex
3. Combine our snotty hatred of sex with the plentiful not hating of sex that we have fostered
4. Achieve space flight by launching capsules on a wave of sex repulsion
As an aromantic trans man, I’ve seen misogyny accusations weaponized against men like me enough that I’m starting to examine every concept for how it can be used against other marginalized folks and how to shut it the fuck down when I see it.
And it worries me that people can take things like this and use them against others so easily when doing so can delegitimize real and genuine accusations for just causes. I do not want to one day see people having to question every accusation of bigotry with “okay, is the accused person a member of a marginalized group that the accuser is not?” We’re not at that point yet; let’s not get there. (Or maybe we are and I just haven’t seen it? I hope not.)
But look, misogyny is real and it’s a problem. And it’s real quick and easy for anyone who isn’t a transphobe to see the problem with “you’re not a man, you just have so much internalized misogyny that you hate yourself for being a woman,” and it’s real quick and easy for anyone who isn’t an arophobe to see the problem with “you’re just a chauvinist pig who wants to sleep around without actually caring about the women you fuck if you seriously wanna have sex without dating anyone ever.”
But do you know how anxious I am about calling out transphobia when the abortion debate comes up? Of course a bunch of cis men are doing it because they want to control women’s bodies, but they’re transphobes too. If trans people get fucked over by them banning abortions, that’s just a bonus to them! And the cis folks protesting abortion bans while forgetting that trans men and some nonbinary people can get pregnant too, they get their opportunity to perpetuate transphobia with cute little “if men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like Starbucks” statements that pretend we don’t exist, and if we call it out, “shut up, this is an attack on women, it’s not about how you ~identify~”. Asking to be included in the pro-choice movement is treated like an act of misogyny even though we’re affected by it too. We’re expected to either go back in the closet or shut up and let everyone pretend we don’t exist. How the fuck am I supposed to advocate for my own issues if I’m not allowed to be myself in the process?
As for being aro, well, most people don’t even know aros exist and when they find out they often resort to either hating us or just not taking any of our concerns seriously. After all, we’re invisible and to some that’s not even, like, real oppression so who cares? And the ones who hate us or don’t even know we exist think statements like “men who want to have sex with women but don’t want to date them are misogynists using women for sex” are perfectly reasonable in all situations. Trying to explain that aro allos exist and we just don’t get romantic feelings towards others while still being attracted to others sexually just gets you “is there something wrong with you” and “do you feel anything at all” and “so you don’t care about anyone”. We’re regarded as sexual predators for our orientation and descriptions of us by people who aren’t us use the most harsh language possible (“he just wants to fuck without caring about anyone”). Surely you can see how hurtful it is to claim someone is a bigot for something they did not choose and cannot control? Surely you can see the problem with saying someone is objectifying women by being attracted to them the wrong way when they can’t control that? (Didn’t talk about aroaces for this because tbh I don’t know how someone could utilize accusations of misogyny against them).
Damnit, I just… I hate that I can be accused of hating women just cause I’m trans and aro and a man. Cause I like to think I’m not a misogynist and I surround myself with people I trust to call me out. I’ve had to watch myself from internalizing this shit, the idea that by my very nature I’m contributing to the oppression of women. It’s making me wary of just how easy it is to weaponize activism against others. And I just wish we talked about this more so people could more quickly spot it and shut it the fuck down on sight.
people aren’t willing to have open and honest discussions about sex horror sex bat sex horror sex vampire sex bat horror vampire sex. there’s a stigma.
This will burn your skin wtf. Don’t use this unless you have a carrier oil and only use a few drops of essential oil in it. Stuff like this is dangerous.
a lot of young teen lesbians on tumblr r aligning with the terf ideology without knowing properly what it stands for. so as an Older Lesbian with some 6 years of Being Out Experience i wanna clarify some things for you.
nobody is forcing you to be attracted to anyone
nobody is saying that if you aren’t attracted to [insert a trans woman name], you’re automatically transphobic and a terf. nobody is saying you have to have sex with trans girls if you aren’t attracted to them. just as nobody is saying you have to be attracted to every cis woman. and nobody is saying you have to have sex with gay girls you aren’t attracted to.
we are only asking you to respect trans women as women
and that’s really the least you could do! trans women (trans lesbians and wlw in particular) are just other girls out here trying to survive in this hetero world. and it’s hard being a lesbian already - but being a trans lesbian is so much harder. don’t make these girls feel even more alienated, don’t contribute to the hate that is turned against them.
“but i don’t wanna have sex with someone with a penis”
if you end up never sleeping with anyone w a penis, that’s okay. being a lesbian isn’t just about who you have sex with. it’s also about who you love, who you’re attracted to and who you date. and one day you might find yourself falling in love with a trans girl.
if that happens, just like in any relationship, you can negotiate your limits in sex. there’s no point in saying “i am not attracted to trans women” - because it makes it seem like trans women are inherently so much different from cis women, makes you sound like you think all trans women look/are the same and like you think of women as walking genitals. which is pretty misogynist!
so please just don’t listen to terfs. protect your trans sisters because they need it and they will always be there to support you if you support them too.
“porn is known to be racist, transphobic, pedophilic, and misogynist” and “sex workers deserve to be able to work without fearing for their lives” are both takes that can exist simultaneously guys
It’s hard for wlw who grew up in homophobic religions to form connections and not feel bad or weird about their sexuality. It’s especially hard for people who grew up in such a controlled environment where they tried to control how you dressed, who you dated, when you started dating, how often you dated, when you could date one on one, etc to make genuine romantic connections and sometimes people just turn out ace or aro (nothing wrong with that, I love my aro/ace buddies so much <3 ) because of how controlling the environment was. Controlling your teenagers dating life so much to where they can’t even look at someone of another gender or hang out with them (thanks Mormons) does NOT stop them from dating bad people, having s*x, doing anything of that nature. If you try to control them to that point, or your religion does, then it’s going to make things worse. I grew up in the church where if I even had friends of the opposite gender I couldn’t hang out with them alone. This has just made it super hard for me to form actual connections romantic and platonic.
Caption: [Hi there! I came out to my wife as bi a week ago and now I’m gonna tell you all about it. It’s a fun story. So here’s what happened. I got high and watched The Pebble and the Penguin. If you haven’t seen The Pebble and the Penguin, it’s an animated musical comedy from 1995 that tells the story of an effeminate penguin, who’s madly in love with a lady penguin.
And it goes on this exciting journey home so he can give the lady penguin the pebble and have sex with her. That is literally the plot of the film, I’m not making that up. He’s joined on this epic quest by a boy penguin, who he clearly has quite a bit of sexual tension with. There’s a little more to it, such as original songs by Barry M.
Uh, but the point I’m trying to make here is that before I saw this movie, I had a lot of reservations and doubts over ever possibly coming out. ‘Cause I felt like, well essentially like I didn’t deserve to have that be apart of my identity.
Because I had never been with a guy before, I’ve only been with women, I married a woman, I only ever intend on being with this one woman. But what when I saw this movie, I thought, “Hey, if that fruity little penguin could marry a lady, and still be queer as hell, so can I, and so can you.]
SOMEONE WENT TO A STAR TREK CONVENTION IN THE 1980’S AS SPOCK AND KIRK’S PENISES I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP
THEY PERFORMED SPIRK THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANCE
If you haven’t read the fanlore page yet, here’s an excerpt from the founding mothers of our fandom constitution.
KF: Well, four of us in Phoenix saw that. And, it was PJ, Carol, Donna and I, and thought, well they are so wonderfully entertaining to us, we have to do something back for them. But, y'know, we’re really not singers, we’re really not dancers, what can we do? So we sat around with a bottle of wine cooler. And, I don’t drink, and I said, well, how about if we distill down the basis of the cock of the, ahum, Kirk and Spock— (laughter)
KF, MS: —Freudian slip, Freudian slip! (laughter)
KF: Yes, ah, down to their basics, and how ‘bout if we do a cock show? And—
MS: I have that on tape, too.
KF: I have it too. Luckily Dixie Owen would come with her video machine, and I ended up putting together a video from the two years. But the first year we ended up going there, and we had a huge seven-foot, and a six-foot cock. Kirk of course was a little shorter and thicker, Spock was taller and thinner—
MS: Was very green—
KF: —very green with two, with a double ridge on the top. What we did basically is, we took this foam that was used in couch cushions, very dense foam, and we’d sculpt it with an electric knife—
MS: Electric knife— (laughter and coughing)
KF: —so that we had the proper shapes. Carol, who—a little insider—ended up working doing the— In the beginning, for the Barney TV show? She actually did the animals and things and the costumes for Barney. Anyhow, she was our designer who—
MS: (laughter) Sorry.
KF: —made the fabric that came down from the head all the way down— And then for the balls, we’re thinking, “Well what are we going to use?” And I said, “Well, listen, we gotta carry ‘em on the plane. How about if we use beach balls covered in fabric, ‘cause then we can deflate them.”
MS: Yes.
KF: And then of course we had pipe cleaners for the hair and furry bits.
MS: I remember when you brought them. Oh my god.
KF: And we figure, so we— And I put together a list of songs, and we had little snippets of songs. We started out on the stage with Spock all kind of bent over and just kinda hunched. And he had the little song, y'know, “I am a rock, I am an island.” And of course you hear from off-stage the signs of “Macho Man.”
All: (laughter) (indistinguishable shouts)
KF: —Pick one—
MS: “Macho, macho man"—
KF: —and on the stage Spock goes “Huuunh?” and immediately his two balls come out— (squeals) —yeah, from underneath—
MS: —from underneath, boing!
KF: —and his head starts coming up a little bit, and coming up a little bit, and then the Matt Davis song, “I want you to want me, I want you to need me.”
MS: The entire auditorium was in hysterical—
KF: And then of course the finale is the 1812 Overture climax with the cannons going off!
MS: Complete with, was it—
KF: It was, it was—
MS: —did you use confetti that time?
KF: No, it was white candies wrapped in plas— in cellophane which I then threw up by the handfuls for—
MS: Yeah. Woooo! Multiple overlapping voices: —for the climax.
KF: For the climax, yeah. And, the audience was hysterical.
“Kirk of course was a little shorter and thicker, Spock was taller and thinner-“
I have read this description in a fic on AO3 THIS WEEK. I love fandom.
Fandom has always been fucking bananas, and I’m so grateful for our foreparents in the Star Trek fandom for launching what fandom’s become today.
It is nothing, nothing compared to the above… but I remember being at a convention masquerade (I think it was even a Worldcon…?) and two people came down the runway dressed as the Enterprise and a Klingon cruiser… and then they got into a brilliantly staged fistfight, wound up grappling with each other while shouting insults, and fell off the runway into the audience.
I don’t think anyone in that room could breathe for a good while, they were laughing so hard. It’s astonishing to me to this day that ambulances didn’t have to be called.
…But yeah: Trek fandom. For half a century and more, willingly going where no one has ever, EVERgone before. :)
okay but the mariner’s revenge song is so funny when you consider it from the whale’s perspective. you swallow a ship full of sailors but two of them survive and one of them starts singing an absolute banger about how the other fucked his mom and ruined his life so now they’re trapped together in your stomach he’s going to finally get his revenge. you just know that whale went swimming around the ocean to anyone who’d listen after like “you guys aren’t gonna BELIEVE this”
We really, as a society, need to stop treating sex like a rite of passage. It hurts me so much to see people (especially high schoolers) embarrassed to say they haven’t had sex.
For some people it may take time, for others that time never comes, or they simply aren’t interested. Stop pushing your values or expectations on other people, especially those who are developing into adulthood. Stop shaming people over something that’s not your business.
