hey yo here comes your lesbian tumblr friend again
im definitely back to tcc again god im SO back here
you know I kind of hugged my tutor and she kind of complimeted on my perfume, you know, i’m single and she’s single
you know.
btw we meet in private and I’m of legal age ;))

//24.02.2022// tc, depression, anxiety - 4 years later

Well… hi? Is anyone here?

There’s no chance that this post will reach people who knew me 3, 4, 5 years ago. But I just feel the need to look back to my tc years from time to time.

I posted here for the first time in 2018 when i fell for my teacher, but i won’t be telling this silly story once again, you can just check my #tcc tagged posts. What I wanted to focus on is the mental health matter.

While reading my old posts i feel like helping the old me. Two years of crushing on a teacher, two other years of missing her and just a year of curing my mental illness. You know, as a kid I had no idea that i didnt think stright not becouse of so-called “forbidden love”, but due to depressive thoughts and anxiety. I felt so hopeless and lonely that my mind just picked a person to fixate on. Neither me nor her had bad intentions. And now, as an adult, I can’t really remember if i acted like a psycho or not.
I’ve been curing my disorders (depressive moods, anxiety, derealisation) for a year now and im shocked that I made it through back in 2017-2019. If it hadn’t been for the good people i met (including my tc), i’d have been dead.

And even though so many years passed I still dream of explaining everything to her and i know it’s where my ego takes control over common sense. But i just feel fucking bad for what i’ve done and said and that i could be perceived as crazy. I wish I could wash my stupid childhood acts off and tell her that she was and always will be great. But texting her would only make it all look worse so i just keep silent.

My message: If u feel depressed, stressed, s*icidal - please, do it for me and seek help before it gets worse. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. It’s an illness that can be cured.

To all people i met here when i needed help - i love you,
forbidden-feelingsss

Damn there’s something going on and immediately I’m too hyperanalysing to talk so I just smile like an idiot✨❤️