Not just in the missing shape of your body on your side of the bed, but outside too.
Snow fell like powered sugar- the crisp air now smelling of funnel cakes.
Bad combinations - like a summer evening at the fair, 89 degrees on the top of a ferris wheel, whiskey rolling around in an empty stomach swaying with the motion of the machine.
That’s how it happened.
Bad combinations- whiskey, motions of the mouth, heat of the words making impact.
It would take a lot more than powered sugar falling on a greasy, hot funnel cake to solve this cold in the bed.
So I gave writing on here a rest for awhile. I thought I would take life by the balls and try to actually live it instead of complaining about it. If I really think about it, Ireland isn’t bad at all. Yes it may have been hard to get established and yes I may have had way higher expectations, but the reality is that I have everything I really want. I have a job (some people see it as seedy, some people think I don’t have a degree and should work towards “doing better for myself” and some people assume that I’m a student and simply don’t have time for any other job. But it’s a job that allows me to see my boyfriend. Allows me to travel and allows me to be outside), I am with the person I really wanted to be with and thought that I lost forever, and I am able to travel. Really what’s so wrong with those things. I should be greatful.
While things are better I still go through rough nights, and last night was one of them. Mozart and I have found it difficult to get into a groove we are completely happy with. Because we both work nights we find it hard to do things during the days, and we find it hard to hang out with other people. He found a group of guys that get together every couple of Saturdays to smoke after work so that helped a bit, but we still don’t really have a friend group. Which frankly is sad after being here for so long. That may be my fault I guess. Maybe I am selfish with time. I’m afraid that I may loose him again or that really we only get to spend one, and if we are lucky two days a week fully together, that I kinda just want it to be the two of us. But I know the lack of social interaction with other people is really getting him down and frankly me as well. I loved being in the UK not because the place itself was so fantastic, but it was because of my friends. I feel lost on how to make friends though, it’s definitely something I need to work on.
Mozart and I are really good….until we aren’t. I feel like things are okay and we are happy and then things come crashing down around me and I’m left wondering what the hell just happened. We had a big blow out last night over something so incredibly stupid that I can’t remember. But then a whole lot of things came out. He states he cant do this anymore, thag the only thing holding us together is the house. He told me that he doesn’t think of the future and can’t be pressured into marrying me, or even being with me. That the likelyhood is that we will break up, because a lot of couples do. (Personally I am an optimist so that statement killed me) he also said something to me that I am still personally trying to deal with. He told me that he is okay with us being monogamous but he frankly wouldn’t care if he were to go polyamerous, which completely shocked me. Personally, I don’t think I could do that. He told me that it is just ego in the way, but I would be crushed. He said he would never cheat, but that’s just how he feels.
He said all of this while he was tipsy and after a while of talking/arguing we decided to give it a rest. He stated that some of the things he said was true but the way he conveyed it wasn’t the best. That when he gets mad he can sometimes feel trapped because we have a place together but the reality is, that most of the time he is really happy. And the whole poly thing? Well maybe that will have to be a discussion for today. I guess you can never say never but I frankly can’t really see myself doing it.
What bothers me the most though is that in a heated argument he will say all these things that devastate me and then at the end of it track back by saying they just came out wrong, leaving me to try to figure out what he really means, what parts are true and what parts simply came out wrong. I think this time I have gotten it. I know I pressure about the future, it is just because I’m scared. We both have things to work on, we both have our lives to get in order. So really I don’t know what’s going to happen. And while that’s frightening it’s reality.
A #warrior that #fights for what she believes in. Crossing me and my principles can become dangerous. #paganthoughts #paganism #paganism #pagan #paganlife #attitude #mypov #mythoughts #myattitude
To make the fighting scenes in my low fantasy novel more realistic, I went to see a trainer for historical sword-fighting last week, both to barrage her with questions and to develop realistic choreographies for the fight scenes in the novel. Since I figured some of what she told me might be useful for you too, I put together a small list for you. Big thanks to Gladiatores Munich and Jeanne for making time! (Here are some more pictures if you’re interested.)
Caveat: I’m by no means a sword-fighting expert myself, so take these nuggets with a grain of salt – I might have misremembered or misinterpreted some of the things Jeanne told me. If I did, feel free to tell me.
1.) Weapon choices need to make sense
Let’s start with a truism: always ensure your character’s weapons make sense for a.) their profession, b.) their cultural background and c.) the environment they’re going to fight in. A farmer probably couldn’t afford a sword and might use a knife or threshing flail instead, and someone who doesn’t want to be noticed probably wouldn’t be milling about sporting a glaive or another large weapon. Also, soldiers native to a country with wide open plains would be more likely to carry long-range melee weapons such as spears or large swords, than those from a country consisting of mostly jungle or dense forests. The same applies to situations: if your character is going to be fighting in close quarters (even just a normal house), he’d get little value out of a spear or even a longsword, as there’d be no space to swing it effectively.
2.) Boldness often beats skill
In real swordfights, recklessness was often more important than technique. The fighter less afraid of getting injured would often push harder, allowing them to overpower even opponents with better technique.
3.) Even a skilled fighter rarely stands a chance when outnumbered
While a skilled (or lucky) fighter might win a two-versus-one, it’d be extremely unlikely for even a single master swordsman to win against superior numbers, even just three and if they’re below his skill level. The only way to plausibly pull this off would be to split the opponents up, perhaps by luring them into a confined space where you could take them on one by one. The moment you’re surrounded, you’re probably done for – because, unlike in Hollywood, they wouldn’t take turns attacking but come at you all at once.
4.) Dual-wielding was a thing
… at least in some cultures. I often heard people say that people using a weapon in each hand is an invention of fiction. And while my instructor confirmed that she knew of no European schools doing this—if they did, it’s not well-documented—she said it was a thing in other cultures. Example of this include the dual wakizashi in Japan or tomahawk and knife in North America. However, one of the biggest problems with the depiction of dual wielding in novels/movies/games are the “windmill”-type attacks where the fighter swings their weapons independently, hitting in succession rather than simultaneously. Normally you’d always try hitting with both weapons at once, as you’d otherwise lose your advantage.
5.) Longswords were amazing
Longswords might seem boring in comparison to other weapons, but they were incredibly effective, especially in combat situations outside the battlefield. The crossguard allowed for effective blocking of almost any kind of attack (well, maybe not an overhead strike of a Mordaxt, but still), the pommel was also used as a powerful “blunt” weapon of its own that could crack skulls. Though they were somewhat less effective against armored opponents, the long, two-handed hilt allowed for precise thrusts at uncovered body parts that made up for it.
6.) “Zweihänder” were only used for very specific combat situations
Zweihänder—massive two-handed swords—were only used for specific purposes and usually not in one-on-one combat as is often seen in movies or games. One of these purposes was using their reach to break up enemy formations. In fact, one type of two-handed sword even owed its name to that purpose: Gassenhauer (German, Gasse = alley, Hauer = striker)—the fighters literally used it to strike “alleys” into an enemy formation with wide, powerful swings.
7.) It’s all about distance
While I was subconsciously aware of this, it might be helpful to remember that distance was an incredibly important element in fights. The moment your opponent got past your weapons ideal range, it was common to either switch to a different weapon or just drop your weapon and resort to punching/choking. A good example of this are spears or polearms—very powerful as long as you maintain a certain range between you and your opponent, but the moment they get too close, your weapon is practically useless. That’s also why combatants almost always brought a second weapon into battle to fall back one.
8.) Real fights rarely lasted over a minute
Another truism, but still useful to remember: real fights didn’t last long. Usually, they were over within less than a minute, sometimes only seconds – the moment your opponent landed a hit (or your weapon broke or you were disarmed), you were done for. This is especially true for combatants wearing no or only light armor.
9.) Stop the pirouettes
Unfortunately, the spinning around and pirouetting that makes many fight scenes so enjoyable to watch (or read) is completely asinine. Unless it’s a showfight, fighters would never expose their backs to their opponent or even turn their weapon away from them.
10.) It still looks amazing
If your concern is that making your fight scenes realistic will make them less aesthetic, don’t worry. Apart from the fact that the blocks, swings and thrusts still look impressive when executed correctly, I personally felt that my fights get a lot more gripping and visceral if I respect the rules. To a certain extent, unrealistic and flashy combat is plot armor. If your characters can spin and somersault to their heart’s content and no one ever shoves a spear into their backs as they would have in real life, who survives and who doesn’t noticeably becomes arbitrary. If, on the other hand, even one slip-up can result in a combatant’s death, the stakes become palpable.
That’s about it! I hope this post is as helpful to some of you as the lessons were to me. Again, if anything I wrote here is bollocks, it’s probably my fault and not Jeanne’s. I’ll try to post more stuff like this in the future.
I get frustrated with partners who don’t properly understand how injuries effect a character. If your character sustains a head wound in a fight, for example, it’s annoying if the writer doen’t take into account how their character would (if human, of course, and not superpowered) be bleeding a lot, probably have a headache and dizziness, etc. Or if someone is released from a choke hold, they aren’t instantly better. The character should be dizzy and breaths pained. Things like that.
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