Aries:The first king. A colossal man with skin like freshly tilled earth and a voice that could calm the old wild things. Colossal, gentle hands. The first shepherd of rocks and clay. Molding the wild into home.
Taurus:An exile by birthright, a king by deeds. A tale of honorable revenge and lifelong friendships cut short. A life on horseback that left in its wake an empire, and countless pillars to the dead.
Gemini:The ghost of a princess. Ever a lady in waiting, she wanders the halls of an abandoned palace. Hands from the ash. The burning silhouette of a child. All those who seek to defile her home will know flame as she did.
Cancer:Identical twin princes. The reigns of empire won by blood now passed to them. To the surprise of a nation, able to share the throne. Ever deliberating, never moving without consensus. Diplomats, delegates, scholars, and magicians. Memories of mother. Each carries one half of the daisho.
Leo:The high priestess. Ritually sharpened teeth. Rivers of blood washed away by conjured rainstorms. Liaison to the god that sleeps below the great temple. The speaker to the forbidden sun.
Virgo:The Witch Queen. The Wardbreaker. The Mother of Hexes. Armies from the north that could call fire from their hands, wounds healed with the sermons of foreign gods. Captured officers. Secret research in the ancestral necropolis. New magic, gentle and deep as the night.
Libra:The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king!
Scorpio:The King-of-Five-Crowns. An empire won by respect and might. Retirement. Evenings spent in the summer palace, teaching grandchildren to paint.
Ophiuchus:An empress of honey and sun-baked gold. Honored dead bound in white cloth. Eternal servitude to their holy queen. Consul from centuries of royalty now passed.
Sagittarius:The Lady of the Grove. Revelries by moonlight. Distant songs in the mist. Lost children. There is a road through the forest, it has since been omitted by mapmakers.
Capricorn:The middle child of a royal bloodline. Exile to a monastery. A lifetime of meditation on divinity and craft. A heart of clockwork. Mummified in the calculus of the world.
Aquarius:A penitent queen. Now an adviser to those who overthrew her son. A veil in mourning, but not for him. Deep, terrible understanding of what makes a tyrant.
Pisces:An all-to-young queen. Inheritor to a throne built on war and blood. Ceremonial jewelry that resembles the armament of her knights. A legacy of imperium and bloodshed. A vow to do differently.
Aries:A philosophical dilemma you’ve been struggling with for a while will be resolved when you finally have the opportunity to kick Noam Chomsky in the face.
Taurus:Restore your confidence and sense of childlike wonder at the world by collecting the orbs.
Gemini:If your co-workers are a little more critical of you today, its because they’re jealous that bonzi buddy can send Emails.
Cancer:Now that things have calmed down a bit, feel free to spend a few days sobbing uncontrollably.
Leo:Folks will see you replace your legs with tank treads and say you cant afford pants.
Virgo:As inviting as it may look, that invitation to the abandoned fireworks factory is yet another trick to steal your gameboy advance.
Libra:You will be receiving more coupons from the winged people who live on the moon. Do not respond to their letters, its a scam.
Scorpio:Try not to get discouraged today! The land is blanketed in cursed fog that erodes memories and there is only so much you can allow yourself to worry about.
Ophiuchus:Careful! Doubting your inherent worth as a living human being will trigger PVP mode.
Sagittarius:The hot single dads in your area are an invasive species which must be culled. Do your part Sagittarius, its open season.
Capricorn:When I asked for todays horoscope the stars gave me the strategy guide for Crash Team Racing.
Aquarius:The security cameras at work show a completely different building in a completely different time. Do not explore the topic further.
Pisces:Take a chance and express yourself, you might find that you can speak Sumerian! You also might find yourself unable to stop speaking sumerian! Take a chance!
No wtf it’s too hot so its just me getting burned all the time, it’s fun for like a week then you get bored, and I’m definetly NOT beach bod ready: Taurus ᯽ Pisces ☾ Capricorn ᯽ Virgo ᯽
Yeah I enjoy it, I mean no school right? Gives you an opportunity to have fun and not worry but you know sometimes it’s nice to see all your friends at school: Aries ☼ Aquarius ➶ Libra ➶ Gemini ➶
I THRIVE on summer, tanning is my strange obsession, the beach is my home, I do whatever I want and just don’t care. Also don’t have to run into any snakes at school: Leo ☼ Sagittarius ☼ Scorpio ☾ Cancer ☾
Aries: Partying ☼ Taurus: DIY projects ᯽ Gemini: Traveling around the world ➶ Cancer: Going on an adventure ☾ Leo: Tanning ☼ Virgo: Cooking ᯽ Libra: Swimming ➶ Scorpio: At a pool party ☾ Sagittarius: Going to the beach ☼ Capricorn: Riding their bike ᯽ Aquarius: Writing their book ➶ Pisces: Vacationing ☾
All hope will be lost for these signs to. They’d better stay home in bed and forget to breath for a while idk:
None of the signs
These signs will have a terrible year. They sometimes say “Per aspera ad astra”, meaning “through hardships to the stars”. Not for these signs, though. That would be more like a “per aspera ad aspera” if you get what I mean. I mean hardships without end.:
None of the signs
These signs are lucky this year. Even if they struggle, it gets better. Even when there are setbacks and annoying or sad things, they’ll be able to work through it if they just try. They shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help when they struggle or give a compliment; that will make their dayseasier and more enjoyable!:
All the damnsigns.
Don’t forget to tag your sign when you reblog! Tag your friends or S/O!
If you tag “I’m none of the signs lol” I will hunt your inbox and I’ll be in your DM’s! Just a warning! I will! I will.
