Friendsgiving was ruined because a friend’s brother had a breakdown that involved far right conspiracies, racism, and had the potential to escalate into violence. He called me a fat dyke and it’s funny because I’m very feminine presenting, and I’ve never been called a dyke before. So I should feel insulted, but I just feel✨seen✨
[ID: Six cactus potted cactus drawings on a pale green background. The title is “Self-Acceptance Sounds Like…” and there is a blurb under each cactus. They read: “This is difficult for me and I have other strengths.” “I notice my negative thoughts and know that not everything I think is true.” “I accept the unique, evolving person that I am.” “I made a mistake and now have an opportunity to learn and grow.” “I acknowledge I am struggling and I am ready to seek help.” “This makes me feel anxious and I know I’ll get through it.” End ID]
yes, you’re allowed to dress that way. yes, you’re allowed to use these pronouns. yes, you’re allowed to use that label and this label. yes, you can do that stereotypical thing. yes, you can choose that name. yes, you can do what works best for you. yes, it’s okay if you’re scared or unsure. yes, I promise you don’t actually need my permission (or anyone else’s) to do that. yes, it’ll be okay.
‘Value’ is the way one considers importance, worth and usefulness of something or someone. An emotional or monetary consideration is placed, when estimating or appraising value.
How do you value your service to others? Do you base your value based on others, competitors or ‘perceived’ accepted market value? As you consider this, how do you measure your value to yourself? The…
it is perfectly okay to not have enough energy to haunt, terrorise or otherwise cause problems to the common human society. you are no less of a cryptid for that! take your time <3
Ancestry is a concept that at first seems bound within a heterosexist framework. Ancestry—when understood within the confines of limited heterocentrist viewpoint—is thought to exist only within the realm of blood relation, stemming from the proliferation of the ideal family unit across time and space as parents produce children, who become adults that in turn find heterosexual partners and produce children. This is what is understood when we speak of ancestry.
But what of Queer Ancestry? What of the kinships that are formed by those whose families have rejected them? What of those families who’s bond to one another is not blood but instead a shared commitment to protect, support, and uplift one another? Where, in the traditional family ideal, is there room for queer understandings of love and family? Our families are not connected by some shared DNA, they are connected by a shared spirit of resistance, of a common will to life that drives us to reject the hegemonic in search of a more authentic sense of self-actualization.
Many of our Queer Ancestors’ names have been lost to time, erased by the hegemonic power of heterohistory. Although their names may be lost, their stories can still empower and embolden us. By sharing their stories we carry their essence with us; they lend us their strength and their courage, their passion and their pain. Take strength from your Queer Ancestors. Allow them to empower you. Allow them to lend you their spirit, and they will lift you to new heights.
I will never, not even for a second, be or look or sound desperate around people.
My biggest flaw was thinking that everytime something went wrong i had to make myself vulnerable and fragile in front of other people and them being sorry for me was my biggest win. I thought I gained more and more power lowering my self image in front of them so I kept doing it. I kept doing it until I actually became desperate and behaved like it.
This is who i am, I would think. And this is how I want people to look at me. I would pity myself and lower my self esteem only for others to console me. And it fucking consumed me.
I started looking for validation from around me rather than from myself and it made me miserable. I will never, not even for a second, let anyone ever look at me like desperate or in need of help. I’m no princess to be saved, I’m a king.
I wanted to put out a plea to people out there to be kind to each other. You don’t know what someone else has been through or what trauma they might have of their own. You may have experienced trauma of your own that no one could possibly imagine or wish upon anyone, but you mustn’t invalidate or minimize someone’s feelings because they appear to pale in comparison to your own experiences.
By minimizing someone’s feelings, you may be unintentionally fostering a mentality in them that their feelings don’t matter; that no one cares because others have been through worse and that they are weak for being upset. They feel they are better keeping their feelings inside and never discussing them because ‘how could they possibly be sad when they are so fortunate’? As a result, they feel like all they are allowed to do is support those who have had ‘more painful’ experiences and feel ashamed for feeling any pain of their own.
And those feelings grow and grow until the emotions all spill out at once and consume them, sometimes to a devastating degree.
Everyone’s feelings are valid, regardless of their experiences. Even the more fortunate are allowed to be sad sometimes. Please be kind and just listen to one another. You don’t need to fix things or put a value on feelings based on who has had the most traumatic pasts…just listen.
And for those of you out there who need to hear it, you matter. Your feelings matter.
Me identifying as Demisexual and being on the autism spectrum goes hand in hand for me sometimes. Some days I feel like I’m completely valid because I often exhibit traits of being Demisexual, such as only truly experiencing sexual attraction at least once with someone I had known for a very long time. Then other days I feel completely unsure again because I remember that my autism means that I often only like people after knowing them for a long time. So am I demi or am I just being autistic?
Realsocialskills answered:
I can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is — you’re the only one who can answer that question. Whatever your sexual orientation is, it’s valid. It’s also ok not to be sure. Some people know what their sexual orientation is from a very young age; some people take longer to figure it out. Everyone has the right to be who they are.
Just about anything we experience as autistic people will be influenced by our autism, including sexuality. That doesn’t make our experiences any less valid — it just means that they’re autistic experiences. Different autistic people fall different places on the gender and sexuality spectrum — we have the same range of sexual orientations that anyone else does.
Some autistic people find that their experience of sexuality is somewhat different from nonautistic people who share their sexual orientation. For instance, if you’re demisexual, you might find that there are some differences between the circumstances that can lead to attraction for you and the circumstances that seem to lead to attraction for nonautistic demisexual people you know. That doesn’t make you any less demisexual, it just means that having a disability that affects how you relate to people sometimes affects how you relate to people. It’s ok when it turns out that autism matters.
You might find that your experiences with sexuality are somewhat different from those of nonautistic people who share your sexual orientation, or you may not. If your experiences are different, that doesn’t make them any less valid. It’s sort of like language: As an autistic person, you may communicate differently from others, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less of an English speaker — and it *definitely* doesn’t mean your question was actually written in French. You are who you are, and it’s ok that autistic difference is sometimes part of that.
One way to think about it might be to keep in mind that you’re only one person. Don’t try to separate out a part of you that’s autistic and a part of you that’s valid. Your whole self is valid, and you can be autistic and have a sexual orientation at the same time.
happy tdov to polyam trans people, arospec trans people, queer trans people, he/him lesbians + she/her gays, neopronoun users and people whose identity doesn’t fit into western ideas of gender and sexuality. ur personhood is not up for debate and doesn’t require validation or acceptance from anyone in order to be beautiful and real.
hey trans people who dont “pass” or arent out or dont experience dysphoria or dont want to transition or cant transition for whatever reason or arent “conventionally attractive” or paritally identify as your agab i see you. i love you so much. you are an incredibly important and necessary part of the trans community and your experiences with transphobia and invalidation due to your attributes or your identity or the situation you’re in doesn’t make you any less trans
to all my trans friends: you are not bad for correcting people’s use of your pronouns or your name. you are not selfish. you are not greedy. you are asking the bare minimum of them. correcting people’s use of your pronouns and name is important, you deserve to be acknowledged.
Transmascs dont have to pass or want to pass as cis men in order to be taken seriously in their identities, whether they’re binary or nonbinary.
Feminine transmascs are not trenders. Gender nonconforming transmascs are not trenders. Nonbinary transmascs are not trenders. Genderfluid transmascs are not trenders. Transmasc lesbians are not trenders. Nondysphoric transmascs are not trenders. Nonpassing transmascs are not trenders.
These are a compilation of tweets I found and saved on my phone as reminders for when I feel like I need to feel validated or reminded that I am a worthy person no matter what and I thought you guys might need those too (part 5)
