#traditional marriage
Even the most submissive of wives will test you from time to time. These tests might be intentional, or they might be subconscious, but the purpose of these tests are to ensure that she is safe in your leadership.
A test might like look outright intentional disobedience, or it might be more subtle - testing a boundary, pushing you to get a reaction, or generally bratty behavior.
The key to passing these tests are to recognize them for what they are. She’s looking to see if you will remain a strong oak in the face of adversity.
It’s easy to fail these tests - losing your temper, reacting in kind, or letting her attitude change yours. On the other side of the spectrum, you can also fail these tests by being aloof, indifferent, or giving in. These reactions tell her that she is not safe with you, and impairs her ability to fully submit.
Passing the test can be equally easy by exercising a technique called amused mastery.
Imagine that you were play-wrestling with your kids. You’d allow them to pin you, and it wouldn’t hurt your pride. You wouldn’t take them as a serious threat. Even though they might be using every ounce of their strength to try to take you down, you’d see no need to match their effort. You’d find the whole thing fun and cute, confident in the fact that you know (and your kids know) that if they took things to far you could easily bring an end to it.
So it should be when your wife tests you. You shouldn’t match her emotional level, or get sucked into a battle. Your reaction to her should be loving, secure, and somewhat amused.
Amused Mastery in Action
My wife recently announced that she was on a laundry strike. “A what?”, I asked, arching my eyebrow with a mild grin. She then proceeded to tell me that there was too much laundry to do, and it wasn’t fair that she had to do all of it, so she was going on strike.
Now, there are a couple ways I could have failed this test.
I could have tried to logically explain to her we laundry was her responsibility and that if she had done more during the week, there wouldn’t be so much to do right now (pro-tip: if your plan for navigating your wife’s tests involves the use of logic … best of luck with that)
I could have lost my temper and yelled at her, which would have probably resulted in the laundry getting done but her feeling unsafe in my leadership.
I could have acquiesced with a “yes dear”. This would have also left her feeling unsafe in my leadership.
Here’s how it actually played out. I’m not saying it is the perfect approach, but hopefully it illustrates amused mastery in action. Picking the story back up …
Her: “(some convoluted reasoning on why she was on a laundry strike)
Me: “Ok, so you are on strike. Where is your picket sign?”
Her, stomp foot: “I’m serious!”
Me: “I know dear, this is all very serious. I guess I’ll need to do some laundry then. In fact, I should get started now.”
Her: “Good! Hey, what are you doing?”
Me: (Unzipping the back of her dress) “I’m doing laundry! Let’s get these in the washer ASAP”
Her: (starting to giggle but trying to remain very serious) “This isn’t what I meant!”
Me: (Undoing her bra and lowering her panties) “Sorry, but I am doing the laundry now and nothing can stop me”
Her: “We’ll see about that!”
Fast-forward. I’m lying in bed in a post-sex haze when I hear her quietly tip-toe out of the bedroom to start a load of laundry.
Do you want your wife to surrender and submit?
Then give her the freedom to do so. Lead with purpose and passion. Own what goes on in your household. Free her from having to worry if you are on top of things.When men are too lazy or disengaged to lead, she will naturally feel the need to step into the gap, in the way that a mother will clean up after her children. But no woman wants to submit to her son - she wants to submit to her a competent, capable husband.Put another way - you must first own your sh*t before you can own her submission.Post link
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31 (ESV)
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I try not to post politics here, but I can’t resist this one.
If you’re not actively influencing your child someone else is.
I remember one time I was in a trad relationships group and a lot of people complaining about finding someone. So I made a post asking how those who were married found their spouse.
The overwhelming answer was they started as FWB or a hookup from places like Tinder.
So I guess I’m not the only one who has been going about finding his future wife all wrong.
This one’s for the boys. You know who you are!
I’ve noticed there’s been a lot more toxic postings in the trad community and it needs to be addressed. There’s a lot of trolls and troublemakers who are specifically attempting to make a trad relationship look wrong and vile. Or attempt to insert various things that are innately mutually exclusive of a trad relationship, such as poly or trans, and subvert the community by forcing inclusion. And there’s many who are bringing up the classics: How trad is racist, abusive, etc.
Ignore them. Ideally block them. Many are from Twitter, which is well known to be pointlessly hateful. You don’t have to deal with them and there’s nothing wrong with wanting and having a trad relationship. You can expect this sort of hate from liberals a lot, but don’t be surprised as you see conservatives who also consider family to be less than important.
Also you’re not alone. Several people I talk to regularly on here have seen the same. Don’t feel like you’re an isolated case. That’s part of the tactic, to make you feel like you’re by yourself, but you’re not. So don’t let them get you down.
Join the Homemaker’s Cottage Discord Server!
Homemaker’s Cottage is a SFW discord server for Female Homemakers. It’s a Male Lead Household, Patriarchy, Traditional Gender Roles server.
Not a kink server, Not role play, No bdsm.
Males who are or are looking to be a Head of a Household are welcome. Come give support and possible advise to the female homemakers.
This server is dedicated and focused on support, friendship and advice for female homemakers. Come help make it a nice little community.
Tradfem versus Radfem
Are you confused by these terms? Well don’t be any longer.
Tradfem means “traditional femininity” or “traditionally feminine”.
Tradfems love traditional gender roles, and romance and marriage. We do not force our views onto anybody, we just want to lead happy lives! But people attack us for no reason.
YOU’RE NOT A TRADFEM IF YOURE A PORN BLOG. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE. FREAKS.
Radfem means “radical feminist”. They hate man and trans people, and are generally all around bad people. They harass women for being in relationships with men, they want to kill men, and say that whenever a man is abused or raped, he deserved it, or that it never happened, or that it wasn’t as bad because “women go through much worse!” radfems are also known as terfs (trans exclusionary radical feminist). Most everybody hates terfs, so block them if you want. Most of them have “rad” in their urls, but that doesn’t mean that everybody with “rad” in their url is a radfem, because rad is still a completely normal and harmless word. Don’t block someone just based on their url.
So I hope I taught you something. Tradfems are good! Radfems are bad.
Edit: DONT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOURE A PORN BLOG
Large Christian Charity Embraces Gay Employees … If They’re Married
World Vision USA is updating its code of conduct to reflect changing marriage norms.
BY MICHAEL O'LOUGHLIN
World Vision USA, the American branch of one of the world’s largest evangelical Christian charitable organizations, says that employees are still expected to abstain from extramarital sex, but for the first time will consider sexual activity within a marriage between two men or two women to be in line with its rules.
Rich Stearns, president of World Vision USA, told employees in a letter that the organization has “not endorsed same-sex marriage, but we have chosen to defer to the authority of local churches on this issue.”
In an interview with Christianity Today, Stearns said that World Vision USA was not responding to a lawsuit or employee lobbying.
“There is no lawsuit threatening us,” he said. “There is no employee group lobbying us. This is simply a decision about whether or not you are eligible for employment at World Vision U.S., based on this single issue, and nothing more.”
“Changing the employee conduct policy to allow someone in a same-sex marriage who is a professed believer in Jesus Christ to work for us makes our policy more consistent with our practice on other divisive issues,” he said. “It also allows us to treat all of our employees the same way: abstinence outside of marriage, and fidelity within marriage.”
Stearns lamented the impact same-sex marriage has had on Christian churches.
“It’s been heartbreaking to watch this issue rip through the church,” he told Christianity Today. “It’s tearing churches apart, tearing denominations apart, tearing Christian colleges apart, and even tearing families apart. Our board felt we cannot jump into the fight on one side or another on this issue. We’ve got to focus on our mission. We are determined to find unity in our diversity.”
Criticism of World Vision USA’s action came swiftly. Russell Moore, president of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, said the heart of Christianity is in jeopardy because of decisions like this, The Washington Post reports. “At stake is the gospel of Jesus Christ,“ he said.
“If sexual activity outside of a biblical definition of marriage is morally neutral, then, yes, we should avoid making an issue of it,” he added. “If, though, what the Bible clearly teaches and what the church has held for 2,000 years is true, then refusing to call for repentance is unspeakably cruel and, in fact, devilish.”
World Visions provides disaster relief to 250 million people each year, in nearly 100 countries, and has revenue of about $1 billion per year. According to Christianity Today, the organization "has staff from more than 50 denominations — a handful of which have sanctioned same-sex marriages or unions in recent years, including the United Church of Christ, The Episcopal Church, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and the Presbyterian Church (USA).”
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Sometimes I love stupid logic. Don’t allow something because we will be terrible awful people/parents if it’s allowed. If only they couldn’t vote
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