Let’s talk about the last Reylo scene in TLJ, when Rey basically sends Kylo sleeping on the couch, making him clear that he is the one who f***** it up
I must admit that during my first viewing, I ended up kinda pissed toward Kylo in the last act of the movie. For the first time in his life, he had a true opportunity to come back home and he f***** it up. His own parents had so little faith in him that they sent him away because they feared he would become Darth Vader 2. His own uncle has so little faith in him that tried to kill him in his sleep - in his sleep! - instead of facing the roots of the problem: Snoke. Snoke had so little faith in him that he called him a child in a mask after years of abuse. For the first time, Ben Solo had found in Rey someone who had genuine faith in him and was ready to stand for him. The girl traveled the entire galaxy, putting herself in danger, to go after him…and had the guy proposing her to rule the galaxy with him as a result.
But the more I think about it, the more I think that it is actually Rey who made a big mistake with dramatic consequences although my point is not to say that Kylo is an angel. TLJ is a movie about failure and showed Rey’s flaws much more than in TFA. Her biggest flaw is revealed by Kylo himself - and we know that Kylo never lies to her: she gets too easily emotionally attached to people as a consequence of her abandonment searching a surrogate family in people she barely knows. But even more problematic IMO: her impulsiveness!
- Finn “stole” Poe’s jacket? Attacks him with her staff without waiting for any explanation
- Luke didn’t tell the truth? Attacks him with the staff without waiting for any explanation
- Kylo shows up unexpectedly in front of her? Shoots him without asking herself what is the deal with this in contrast to Kylo who tries calmly to figure out how it works
- Upset with his proposal? Grabs angrily the lightsaber and #whatwasyournextmove?#
And here comes the core of the problem. She is far too impulsive, leading to a stupid decision with big consequences, and not for her but for Kylo himself. She shares a confession moment with Kylo, has a vision of his bright future, gets angry with Luke and leaves the island in barely…5 minutes maybe? She doesn’t take the time to analyze the situation and the vision quietly in order to figure out what this all means. Sure, Luke did the same in ESB but he didn’t lose time in going after Han and Leia because he thought they were in grave danger. Rey doesn’t go after Kylo because he is in grave danger but because Her usual impulsiveness - coupled with her burgeoning “feelings” for Ben - leads her to elaborate a risky and stupid plan she didn’t think the consequences about. Sure, she got what she wanted: she got Kylo to turn from Snoke but in her impulsiveness she didn’t think about what Kylo wanted. Although I wouldn’t say that that it is all her fault, she hold some big responsibility in his escalation by the end of the movie.
In putting herself in danger, she forces him to make a choice he isn’t prepared for: choose her over Snoke. Sure, it looks very much like Luke putting himself in danger to force Vader to choose him over the Emperor. But she didn’t think of the consequences for him. Kylo was left with no other choice but killing the only person he ever had a close relationship with since childhood in order to protect her. And Rey immediately assumes that having killed his abuser, he will come back as the only hope of the Resistance because of the vision she had, not even thinking about the possible consequences of bringing Ben to the Resistance. Barely the fight is over, Kylo goes to see Snoke and Rey doesn’t ask him how he feels about that. Instead, she goes straight to the hologram and demands him to stop the firing against the Resistance fleet. Subtext: you’re on our side now that you’ve killed your master.
I think that the main problem lies there: she provoked the circumstances knowing that he wouldn’t let her killed, kinda forced him to kill Snoke given the way things turned in the Throne Room and considered that this actions had already sealed the deal. I wouldn’t dare to say she is manipulative like Palpatine but she similarly brought Kylo to betray his own master (and the FO) in order to save her, very much like Palpatine brought Anakin to betray Mace Windu (and the Jedi Order) to save Padme. And very much the same way Palpatine thinking rightfully he can turn Anakin because he’s gone too far, she thinks - wrongly this time - that betraying his master will make Kylo turn from the FO after years of manipulation. But contrary to Anakin, Kylo is like a solitary wolf with big trust issues who got misused and beaten by an abusive master for years. And the problem is that you don’t force a(n emotionally) wounded animal to follow you anywhere you want to by forcing his choice, no matter the circumstances you provoke to force him to go the path you want to.
I think that in her impulsiveness, Rey didn’t draw the right lessons from their trust moment during the hand touching. Beyond the romantic subtext, there is an even more important message. To succeed in “domesticating” a(n emotionally) wounded animal, you must behave calm, show patience and understanding and always leave the choice to accept your outstretched hand or not. If I had to make a comparison, I would say that Kylo reminds me a lot of White Fang. The first time, he goes to White Fang, gets bitten and apologize saying “I shouldn’t have forced you”. The second time, he draws the lesson of the previous experience…and ultimately it works:
Jack build a trust relationship with him by showing patience and understanding and letting him come to him on his own will.
Let’s see now how Rey behaves with Kylo all along the movie:
- Scene 1: Shoots him and yells at him barely he appears unexpectedly in front of her
- Scene 2: Yells at him, calling him a “murderous snake”
- Scene 3: Yells at him
- Scene 4: Offers her hand and waits until he finally takes it
- Scene 5: Calls him Ben, tells him “I’ll help you” in a soft calming voice, enters his private space BUT…already she looks kinda upset that his interpretation of the vision is different than hers (what did you expect, honey?)
- Scene 6: Considers he has already made his choice to leave the FO, gets disillusioned by his attitude, grabs the lightsaber to attack him and leaves him behind
- Scene 7: Makes him feel like he is the one who fucked it up, closing the door right under his nose
In other words, the hand touching is the only scene where Rey did it all right IMO. She shows him that she understands him (neither are you - alone), tends her hand slowly to him and waits patiently that he takes his decision, leaving him the choice to come to her or not.
And you can see that Ben is hesitant, that his hand trembles and that this is not something easy for him but he ultimately does it. He is the one who crosses the line, goes on the other side and have probably the first physical contact in years with another human being :
Notice that there is no single scene until the confrontation where Kylo pushes Rey to come to his side. And in two movies, this is the only scene where he raises his voice against her before quickly calming down. He is always the one projecting himself in her surroundings, not the other way around and he is there to help her genuinely when she needs him as she is at her lowest point after the mirror scene. The only demand he makes to her is at the very beginning of their interactions: “You will bring Luke Skywalker to me”. But notice that after that he completely loses focus on his original goal to find Luke. That goes completely out of picture during their Force bond dates. Even during the confrontation, he tells “I want you to join me” which indeed looks more like a demand than a request because of the choice of the verb but his tone is definitely more beseeching than demanding. his hand trembles, his face is anxious, he begs her. For the first time, he asks her to come to him and he ends up in panic mode: he sees that she is not willing to come to his side to take his hand the same way he came to her side to take her hand.
No wonder that Kylo freaks out in the last act of the movie. Snoke revealed that he is actually the one who put them in contact, which is of course a lie. But we can imagine that Kylo might have believed him given the way things turned between him and Rey:
1) When he realizes that Rey literally orders him to protect the Resistance, as if she considered he must be on the Resistance side now that he has killed Snoke. Like for his parents, his uncles, Snoke, she has expectations on him, expectation he can’t fulfill.
2) When she tries to fool him by making him believe she’ll take his hand only to take the lightsaber, and probably attack him once again just because she is - like always f****ing - impulsive. The result? Once again, he has to defend himself against her, feels betrayed like he was by Luke, and makes it clear that this time she won’t have the upper hand. Thus, the lightsaber doesn’t fly to her hands, represents their power struggle and ends up broken.
3) When he wakes up, Snoke is dead because he has killed him to save the girl…but the girl is gone (leaving him for dead for the second time)! He probably thinks that Snoke told the truth: that this connections was a lie, that everything was a lie. Of course, he gets mad. Of course, he takes over the FO because it’s the only thing he has left. Of course, he frames Rey because accusing himself would mean losing everything. Of course, he gets pissed because he thinks that Snoke told the trut that it wasn’t worth to choose her over his master. Since he has anything left and is terribly upset, he takes over the FO and goes all crazy mode. Only Luke’s projection avoids a big tragedy to happen in the end.And when Kylo realizes that the connection is actually still there, he looks at her with sad puppy eyes as she closes the door
Changing a person implies that the person on her own must decides she wants to change, which takes time. It also requires support, patience and understanding from the person helping you. So I would say that Rey’s impulsiveness played a big role in the way things turned, thinking that she could change Kylo in such a few lapse of time by sort of forcing the fate. In the end, she pushed Ben in a position that exposes him even more to danger (i.e. Hux possibly trying to murder him like he did in the Throne room), isolation and depression. What is unfair is that she is always the one back-lashing the others for f****ing up but she rarely - if not never - questions the consequences of her impulsive behavior. Never said Finn she was sorry for beating him with her staff before he could even give an explanation. Never said Luke she is sorry for beating him with her staff even before he could give an explanation. Never said Kylo she is sorry for scarring his face. Never said Kylo thank you for saving her life. And on top of that, the “you’re the one who f***** it up” look in the end as if she hold no responsibility in the big mess she actually provoked all by herself.
What is striking with her is that she may never turn to the DS but she kinda likes to make people feel that she puts them down on their feets, bringing the others to kneel/fall in front of her (Finn, Luke, Kylo) and IMO she got a little too used to it. It’s a good thing that Ben has this ability to stay calm when she gets mad and that the “pulling the lightsaber” duel makes it clear he is not willing to let himself dominate by her.
In other words, Kylo ain’t the only who needs to grow up to make Reylo evolve into a true love relationship. Rey is a young - twenty years old - woman who also needs to mature because her difficult living conditions made her impulsive, impatient and craving for belonging.
Remember what Leia said in the TFA novelization:
“You knew this from the beginning ? Why didn’t you tell me ?”
She sighed. “Many reasons. I was hoping that I was wrong, that it wasn’t true. I hoped I could sway him, turn him away from the dark side, without having to involve you.” A small smile appeared. “You had - you have - wonderful qualities, Han, but patience and understanding were never among them. I was afraid that your reactions would only drive him farther to the dark side.
Rey is very much like Han. She always shoots first and doesn’t think enough of the consequences of her actions. And she definitely lacks patience, precisely what Ben needs. But failure is the greatest master so if Rey is the smart girl I think she is, she will ask herself what went wrong and what she did wrong in TLJ. By the way, it is now official that the working title of Episode 9 is dark crystal
So I guess that part of Episode 9 will be about how to restore their broken relationship symbolized by the broken Skywalker lightsaber by the end of TLJ.
This is a long entry folks, and it’s about the ongoing story of me and my ex, and this is the final chapter. It’s been an eventful day today involving me and my ex, full of drama, fighting, and then reconciliation. Where to begin…
It started last night. I was on Facebook talking to one of my ex’s friends that I befriended when I visited in PA. She’s a great person, very supportive, and she was hearing out my problems. We were discussing past relationships. Naturally my ex came up in conversation and I was foolish enough to ask details about her that ended up bothering me. On top of that, a post popped up on my news feed. It was one of my ex’s other friends, and she had posted a big paragraph praising her. I’m not proud of what I did, but I lost control and ended up writing quite a passive aggressive comment about her on that post. It was deleted within like 5 minutes, but that didn’t stop my ex from discovering it.
Fast forward to today and when I come home from school, I find my ex has written me on Skype, asking why I had bothered adding her back as a friend and why I said what I said. I tried to shove the incoming argument away, but there was no avoiding it. We ended up fighting and I said all the things to her to that I didn’t say when we broke up. That she was a bitch. That she didn’t have the decency to own up to what she did. That she was a horrible person. Etc.
How childish am I, right?
And when we finally stopped talking to each other, our mutual friend messaged me, as if on cue. I spent the next hour talking with her, telling her what just happened and spilling out my emotions and how I felt about my entire experience with my ex.
It was then I realized that I was doing something that I should have done long ago. When we broke up, I kept everything bottled up. I went into no contact for a month and tried to move on by myself. The sadness dulled, but there was still a little bit of unchecked anger, bitterness, and emotional pain lingering inside me. I had never properly vented these out. Never talked in detail with anyone about how I felt. About what really happened. Now I was there texting away with my friend, her listening to every bit and piece.
I was healing.
When I argued with my ex, I had finally released my leftover anger. When I talked about it all with my friend and listened to her wise words of experience, I left behind my bitterness and my emotional pains. It was then and there that this weight was finally lifted off my shoulders.
I had been the problem all along. I’m a stubborn and arrogant person, and when I lost my ex I had clung onto this brittle sort of hope. I was so arrogant that I told myself I could fix my ex, fix us. Like I had some sort of lesson to teach her. I hadn’t fully moved on, wouldn’t let go. It was so foolish and childish of me. Just because she had hurt me so badly doesn’t mean she deserved to have me attack her the way I did, and hurt her back. In all my arrogance, I had been so angered by her because I thought she was living some glamorous life, and that she hadn’t learned anything from what she did to me. In reality, she had lost practically all her close friends as a result, and there was now a war within her social circle. I felt awful.
She said it herself. People change. She changed. I just never wanted to accept that the sweet girl I loved so much was gone.
But after today’s events, I did. I finally let go. I finally accepted it. There was just one thing left to fix.
A few hours later I began talking with my ex on Skype again, and I told her that I was done being bitter. I told her pretty much everything I said above. No more bitterness, no more drama, no more bullshit. I told her, “Let’s be friends and never fight again. I can forgive you for what you did…for real this time. Can you forgive me for being a childish prick?”
Her response was yes.
We’re friends again, I’ve finally moved on, and the weight is finally off my shoulder.
Now I just wait. Wait for some special girl to pop into my life and take me by surprise.
I think one of the most important things to life a happy live, is to be grateful. You see the world in a different way. The simplest things start to become unbelievable. Like, why I am such a giftet person with all of this little things. As a house, a friend, a boyfriend, a pet or anything else. I thank god everyday for the little and the big thinks. It helped me to see the positive. Believing helped me staying positive
You have to remind yourself that you are happy, that you are thankful for all the things you’ve got. For example, that you are healthy or for your family. You have to remind yourself that you are happy, that you are thankful for all the things you’ve got. For example, that you are healthy or for your family. For everything you are thankful for. Each day, when you wake up tell yourself that this day is going to be an amazing day (even if you don’t believe it. It is incredible what happens if you change your attitude at the beginning of the day). You have to be happy because you want to be. Not because you want to make others happy or impress them. You have to learn from your mistakes. You have to remember this kind of pain. How it feels to ‘lose’ your happiness because you committed it to another person. Every time you see yourself putting your happiness in other person’s hand, remember how good you felt before and how worse you feel now. Hold yourself up. Don’t expect other people to make you happy or to pull you up when you down. Remember what you reached. You had have something other people want to have, they try so hard but fail. Again and again. But you, you can do it. You can be Happy. You don’t need another person to be happy. You proofed it. Get back to this point. You had nobody but you did it. You only make this mistake once, but not twice. Because you see that you did something wrong and you will remember how you feel now and this feeling won’t let you do this mistake once again. I hope this helped you. If you want to talk I’m always here
Have you ever found yourself in a situation and thought “hell I am like an app, i’ve made an update but nothing changed”? I’ve found myself there many times. Because I wasn’t focused on my goals. And so I started to tell my friends about my goals. Being happy, staying focused. And they are now like a reminder. It’s rasiert to tell yourself excuses why you aren’t where you wanted to be, but it’s so much harder to justify for your friends. Since if told my friends to push me forward, if reached a lot of things. I’ve reached my goals and have new goals. My friends started seeing the success and started having similar goals. It’s unbelievable how my live has changed since that moment. I’ve never bin closer to my friends, never been happier. So this is my tip for you
Your thoughts are everything. What you think you will become. Easier to say than actually making it. But’s that’s it. If you think negativ and what can happen to you next. You will only see the negative, in every situation. The best example, is your glass half full or empty? Like having a big discussion with your best friend or loved ones. Some of you are thinking “ok, maybe this is the end” the others will think “ok this is a huge problem, but we will growth from it. When we survived this situation our relationship will even become deeper.” So that’s it. Your view on things is everything. Don’t think about the past, the past has happened. The future is in front of you, you will never know what will happen. So try your best to stay in present with your thoughts. The present is the only time where you can change something, where you can handle. The only time where you can truly be happy remember that
That’s it. When you practice everyday a little more, and you start seeing results. It will become more than an habit. You’ll be addicted to see more results. For example, you’re trying being more positive. And once you feel happier, then people tell you that they see you being happier. They like being around you, because they feel happier too. Believe me, you can’t stop once you see results.✨
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
There is always a reason to be happy! To smile. There is never only good or bad in a situation. So try to see the good in a situation. You’ll be happier Have an amazing day☀️✨
